[sighs] excuse me, sir. Well. Oh, well, well, well. Fucking mexicans. Oh, man, do not get me started on the mexicans. Hey, I was just saying. They hold the goddamn economy together. You know what, man? Damn straight. If 12% of the mexicans that live in this country stopped working, just 12%,
The USA would shut down. I don’t even care who hears me. Nope. [stammers] they work their asses ofF… Mm-hmm. And they got strong family values. Essential immigrants. Hey, speaking of immigrants, how about them asians? Man, fuck, you know what, brother? You want to light that fuse?
Then you better stand back ’cause I got something I want to say about those motherfuckers. Yeah, I got three words for you: “estudious,” hardworking, industrious. Damn straight. Asians are the highest income, best educated, and the fastest growing racial group in the U.S. Of a. MM. Plus, got the highest percentage
Of college graduates in the country–good for them. And i–maybe this makes me sound racist, but those motherfuckers, they’re gonna save the country. There it is. You–you went and said it. I just said it. I just came right the fuck out and said it. It was in everyone’s mind. But I’m the onE…
Both: who said it. Hey, and you know what? While we’re at it, I’m gonna break my spine, tip-tap, dancing-wancing, prancing around the elephant in the room. Yep. Blacks. Fucking blacks. Buh-lacks. Fucking blacks. You know what you done done did? You opened up the floodgates now, my friend. Released the kraken. Goddamn victims
Of institutionalized “race-mismE.” And despite all that, they overcame the slavery and the segregation just to become ceos and entrepreneurs. And hey, one of ’em is the gosh-darn president. And, I mean, that’s just true right there. That’s just historical fact, man. You can’t even argue that. Oh, how ’bout the indians? Fucking native americans.
I don’t know if I could get in trouble these days for sayin’ something like this, but they were here first. It may be unpopular, but it’s true. We came to this country, and we steamrolled on in, and we genocided them. I mean, hell, we owe ’em something. There you go.
I got to tell you, man, that’s not bad for a non-alcoholic beer. Not bad at all. All right. I got to go home, take care of my kids. How many of ’em you got now? Just adopted the 11th. Oh! Can’t help myself. Man, that’s always what happens when you volunteer
For the earthquake relief in haiti. Yep, yep, yep. And what you gon’ do? What you gon’ do? You know, my wife makes 2/3 of what I make. What? Y’all got the same job, man. That’s just patently unfair. That’s right. We’re both librarians. [belches] you all right? I’m okay.
source
