I’d already been um doing certain like rituals with friends to to harness the kind of power around me or within me or whatever it was to kind of overcome and engage with what I was dealing with in life you know I I had friends who I guess they would
Say they were they were witches or whatever and so by the point I pulled that thing off the shelf it was in that in that night um I went home and I just had this desire I don’t know where I got it from I said this desire to carve this
Pentagram into my chest um and and for me you know it just seemed like the things connected I didn’t know at the time that um that the Satanic Bible was kind of what what I now know it is and I find that quite interesting that that in
In where I was feeling and that thing they connected and I found myself giving myself to Satan and the logic of thought was this Billy it was um if God exists God is Not Who people say God is because of all the suffering I’ve experienced and the lack of authenticity towards
That that I found within the church who say they’ve got people all of this satanic stuff and the witchcraft makes more sense of my life and actually offers me A Better Way Forward and so I’m going to give myself to that and so again it wasn’t one of finding
The answers it just seems that that was a route which spoke more to my questions you know I I met the holy spirit that was the only thing that that held me back or that turned me around I got invited to a Christian Gathering that my big sister’s best friend was linked to
Um and I and I went I probably fancied her a bit and uh and just sat through you know I I sat through a whole week of these um these meetings and I hated it it made me incredibly angry I saw these people said that they believed in God
And a god of love and they were very happy and I thought that’s a celebrity rubbish and uh you know got to the point where I was just annoyed you know I was trying to pick up weed um because you know there were always some teenagers selling weird at Big
Christian festivals aren’t they and uh and so I was just trying to pick up weed and get with girls and stuff and then and then on the last night um I was the angriest I ever was or some guy that gave like an altar call for
Other guys to come forward and commit to stop sleeping around and instead to be you know Men of Honor and stuff and and I thought well that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard so I stayed at the back some guy came up and said hey can I pray for you I was like
Sure feel embarrassed so I made up something about moving to Australia just so he had something to pray for right and I thought he would like go back to his big old church and light a candle and say a prayer for me um but instead he put a hand on my shoulder
He started praying for me in tongues and in that moment I felt the most incredible Rush of peace and it was honestly like all the things I’ve been up to in life I was chasing highs and trying to feel lows and that that piece that I felt was
Higher than any High I’d ever felt and it touched me at a deeper level than I’d ever felt touched before and as I said in the beginning Billy I’ve never set out to be a Christian I’ve just wanted life and Truth and something about that experience made
Me go or there’s something here that I haven’t experienced before and I want to find out what it is and that’s that’s what led me into the Arms of Jesus
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