Woo, some wet meat! And boom! Oh my God! Boom! You ever seen anything like that in your life? Suh, dude. Welcome back to Mythical Kitchen. Today we’re competing to make the superior steak burrito. But first I wanna let you know that this portion of today’s episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Or visit betterhelp.com/mythicalkitchen to get rolling. Thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring that portion of today’s video. Let’s get back to the ‘ritos, dude. All right, y’all, now it’s time for the competition. We’re making steak burritos today, one of my favorite foods. The only question is who should be on teams with each other?
What are you talking about? Why you looking at me? Like, if there were two people right now who have things in common or maybe a similar sort of point of view, frame of reference, similar sort of way of carrying themselves. Even the way they’re dressed. You know, even, like,
I’m just saying that would be a good way to decide teams. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. Yeah. Like, what frat are you in? Kappas. Okay, she’s a Kappa. What frat are you in? Me? Yeah, yeah. This one. Okay, wait, but what frat are you in? Alpha Delta Kappa Gamma five. Bro, you’re in ADKGE?
Bro, get over here! Yo, the secret handshake, though. All right. That was probably awful on the mic. I’m so sorry. I’mma just scoot over here. Trevor’s bony chest hit me in the diaphragm. Now I can’t breathe. Bony chest? I’m sorry, no, you have a lovely chest. I ruined everything.
We’re gonna be on the same team, Vi, okay? Yeah, what sorority are we in? I don’t know. We both have white T-shirts, so we’ll just be the white T-shirt gang. I love that for us. Dude, Fratty Light is like making love to somebody on a boat. It’s effing close to water.
Like, closest in proximity, but also similar to. I could drink so many of these. Seriously, I love it. Like, dude, beer is sick. Yeah, dude. Beer is sick. I drink so many beers, bro. I love beers. I have at least one. We’re calling this our official Pacific Beach frat boy steak burrito.
Because when you’re living in the PB, you’re out there, you’re drinking one beer, knowing your limits. You need some food to keep yourself going, keep yourself partying respectfully and responsibly. And what do you eat? You’re eating a french fry filled steak burrito. This is a San Diego Classic. This is a Cali burrito.
The first time I had this, I went to a restaurant. It was just called To’s, not Alberto’s, not Rigaberto’s, not Daigoberto’s, not Albatro’s, just To’s. That sounds like my kinda restaurant. And it was called a gringo burrito on the menu, and there was french fries in it,
And it was one of the greatest things I’ve ever had. And as two gringos, that’s on the menu for us. Listen, it was- Couple of gringos. They used the term on the menu, and so we’re doing that. We’re gonna talk about marinating our steak. This is a good-ass steak.
Can you let me get a feet joke in, please? Get a feet joke in, yeah, yeah, do it. Okay, as two gringos that love toes, right? Dude, yeah, we don’t sex shame. All right, so we’re gonna put this in a bag. This is a prime ribeye. I really wanna make a Cali burrito.
Dude, slap the bag. Dude, we’re playing slap the bag. This is sick. I love bonding with my fellow man. Fraternities are really about the philanthropy of it. Yeah, for sure, fude. I also like brotherhood. And brotherhood. And I also like drinking one beer and getting ripped. Yeah, and effing close to water.
And effing, did you get the joke, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah, ’cause it’s a watery beer. Effing is like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Watery beer and it’s- But you’re also making love to somebody on a boat. Near, yeah, on a boat. You know? Okay, a thing that I really believe in.
Marinate your meat in onion juice. It’s a really big Middle Eastern technique. I’ve seen it used in Afghani cooking. Nicole, you said kabob is often marinated in onion juice? Sure. “Sure.” Okay, okay, miss thing over there. That’s fine. Okay, did you ever think about maybe getting
Clip-on sunglasses instead of wearing two pairs of glasses? I have an asymmetrical astigmatism, dude. I tore a hole in the bag. I don’t love that because I need this to marinade. Whoa. The meat. We were slapping it real hard. Dude, hold on, check this out.
You know what frat boys love is safe marinating. And that’s why they give out free undisclosed brand bag with locking mechanism at all frat houses, so that, you know, it’s a- I’m a bio psych major. It’s a con- I’m gonna be a- Oh, wait, this doesn’t-
I’m gonna be a pediatric surgeon one day. It’s gonna be frightening for you. Okay, so- I’m gonna give your child the best care. What’s up? We gotta put our frat bro minds together here. So we have to marinade this, but this bag has a hole in it.
We should put it in this bag. Well, no, but okay. Take the meat out and put it in that bag. ‘Cause I was kinda wanting to double bag it, but double bag- Double bagging it is less safe, actually. And it doesn’t make sense. Yeah, no, ’cause of the friction. Hey man, turn real.
Are you guys okay? No, is anyone in a frat okay, Nicole? No, they’re paying to just have people around ’em. You know what I mean? All right, we’re seasoning up the steak with our dry rub and then we’re gonna put our wet green beer on it.
I used to not season my steak very heavily, even for burritos. I was like, oh, let the steak shine. And then I started seasoning it really heavily and I was like, this is way better. There’s so many people that are like, “You wanna taste the beef.”
And it’s like, yeah, I wanna taste the beef and all the delicious flavor things that people started wars over 400 years ago. This stuff is great. Use spices. I don’t think any two guys could take longer to marinate a piece of meat than us. I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
We got caught up in the bits again. Okay, so we got the steak in the bag. Just gimme a cup. Just enough, ’cause we don’t wanna dilute it too much. A little bit more. There we go, there we go. So the onion pulp in there, that’s gonna create a nice paste
That when we grill this up in a grill pan, ’cause we can’t use an outside grill because thanks Burbank Fire Marshal. It’s gonna create a nice sort of flavor paste on it and then that’s just gonna be real nice. Pop that in the fridge. Let that sit for at least 36 hours.
Chug, chug, chug! Ugh, oh no, I don’t like that at all. Oh no, I don’t like that at all. Let me get a sip. We’re gonna make some sauces and stuff. We’ll be here, dude. Where are my sunglasses? Where are my sunglasses? I’m sorry, that’s disgusting.
So we’re making a chile de arbol and chipotle sauce. You can put in a little cup, add that to the outside of the burrito. That’s one of my favorite things to do. I’m gonna dump all this boiling chili juice in there. That’s gonna be pretty fun. What are you making.
Cream. Palm heel strike! I’m making cream, dude, ’cause I’m a frat bro. I make cream every day. I don’t like that, no. Hand churn. All right, I’m adding a little bit of chicken bouillon. One of the best things to do to add to a little hot sauce
Is a little chicken bouillon in there. You get some of that MSG. That’s a fun time. I’m gonna throw some of these chipotles in adobo. Why would you get chipotles out of adobo? Chipotles in adobo. Dude, we have the technology. Just utilize it. I dropped the lid on the ground.
Now I gotta pick it. I’m gonna start mixing my creams together. My powders, creams and powders are going together. I got another unnamed hot sauce here that’s gonna go in there. “Wash Josh.” “Wash Josh.” So funny. I’m gonna squeeze this with my bare hand because we don’t have a cutting board
Because frat boys leave all their knives in the sink until the dishes pile up taller than their heads and they never wash ’em, ’cause not washing your dishes is cool. Our cooking equipment is rusty. That’s what CPTKGD does. I’m not strong enough. If you’ve ever been to a frat house, it is disgusting.
I’m not strong enough. My cat was rescued from a frat house, you know that? Yeah. We’re gonna blend this up. We’re gonna let this run on high. And then we’re gonna- That’s so spicy! Ow. Ow! Here at Zip Zap Zop, the nation’s preeminent improv based fraternity,
We pass thousand pound light beers to each other. That’s a really nerdy improv comedy joke. Yeah. Zip Zap Zop. Yes and. And I love improv. See, that’s improv. Okay, oou’ll notice that we did almost nothing in the first half an hour of this cooking show,
And that’s because burritos to me are all about prep. You gotta get all your ingredients prepped out. Trevor, drop the curly fries in there. California burritos, typically made with normal french fries. We thought, how do we improve it? We use the curly seasoned french fries.
And I’ve never made this before and I’m very excited. We got a hot pan. We’re gonna chop that. We’re gonna get some, wait, hold on. You see we got our sack of wet meat. Lube that up Nice with oil. I hope that doesn’t catch on fire.
We’re gonna take the meat out all nice and wet. We want some of those juices to get in there, but not enough to not give it a sear. Woo, some wet meat! And boom! Oh my god. Boom! Boom! You ever see anything like that in your life? Slice some avocado. Slice it up.
I don’t want guacamole in there. I simply want a nice little fanned out avocado. Wow. That’s lovely. But we gotta make room for the steak. Put that over there. Steak’s cooking. We got a little bit of brewsky to put on that steak. Oh, burrito making tip at home.
This is the thing that I always do. I love the steak burritos are one of the things I make for myself when Julia’s outta town, ’cause she’s always like, “I don’t want a giant meat pillow for dinner every night.” And I’m like, “Well, I do.”
And so I almost exclusively make carne asada burritos for myself at home. And one of the keys, you gotta, you gotta griddle your tortilla. That way it warms up the fat in there, glutens get pliable, you can roll it more better. That’s super fun. I bet it got pre-
Just let me know when you want me to griddle up that tortilla, boss. I got you, man. We’re gonna get the steak off. We’re gonna let it rest for two minutes. Nice frigging grill marks on there. Some people, they try and go medium rare with their steak inside of a burrito.
I don’t like that. The taquerias that I grew up going to, the carne asada is- The carne asada is super fatty and you want it to get crispy. I need a fratty light, man. Yo, have some cream of Trevor. No! Why? No! Have some fratty spice. You know what fraternities are about
Is clear communication. Clear communication. Clear, cogent communication. Nicole, not now! Can everybody chill? Everybody be fine. Everything is okay. You are all you need in this life. I think this is the fastest anyone’s ever contracted bronchitis. Yeah, I burnt that steak, huh? No, no. That side looks great. Hey, it’s good.
Do you just trust, do you trust me, bro? I trust you. Let’s do this, all right. So we’re gonna put, that’s griddling down. Cheese. What is it? How is it made? Nobody knows. Hand churned cheese. Just mystery bricks of plasticky things that taste nice. End up in our grocery stores. And that’s cool.
What happens if you drop cheese in a deep fryer? No! We have to see. I think it’s gonna crisp up. No! It’s gonna crisp up! What I’m gonna do, check this out. Cameras! Cameras! What’s your name in the black shirt? Dylan. Dylan, watch this. He can’t, you’re block-
Take the cheese outta the fryer! Whoa, he’s going on the crepe! Boom. We’re not gonna go crispy cheese. We’re just gonna melt it. You’re crazy, man. Oh, I need a thing. I need a scooper. Oh, something happening here. What’s happening? It’s not my fault. I don’t know, man. It doesn’t look good. Nice.
Ah, it’s all just stuck together now. Shoot. Steak’s undercooked. It is both burnt and undercooked. You’re gonna take the french fries and we’re gonna kinda compress them a little bit. There we go. Steak’s cooking. Nice. Okay, what should we go next? We’re going steak next.
Might do a little layer of cream of Trevor. You know what I mean? That’s good stuff, man. That’s good stuff. Steak is done and it’s hot. That’s going right on top. This is gonna be really good, though. Do you think we have enough room to fit all this stuff on there? Hmm.
Pico next ’cause I want the tomato juice to sort of really get in there. Yeah, man. Gonna layer that. Trevor, avocado, avocado. What? I got a french fry in my hand. Oh my God, you always have a french fry in your hand. You want me to, I’ll do it, I’ll do it.
Wait, oh, the griddle’s clean now? Okay, no, no, no, hold on. This is gonna go back on the griddle. What? We’re gonna build on the griddle. We’re gonna build on the griddle. I’m so sorry for a lack of professionalism. I’m not. Now we’re going back. Jesus, dude, we need eight more tortillas.
Now we’re going back. And now, oh sh- So hot, dude. Ah, we flew too close to the sun again. I was like, I make this every day. What can I do? Try and hold this back for me. What? Nicole, not now. You want me to go tongs on it? Okay.
You’re gonna try and, yeah, yeah, hold that. And I’m gonna flip up. Try and support it with my hands. Okay, now remove the tongs. Do do do do do, hold on. Just get it out. Just get it out. Trevor, no, get it out. Get it out. Get it out.
Get it out. Get it outta me. Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. We don’t even need avocado. We don’t even need avocado in it, dude. I’m gonna turn the burrito. Beautifully griddled. That’s going right in the foil. No, my back’s to the camera right now. Ew. We got our-
Here we have our onion juice marinated fratty light steak with cream of Trevor fratty spice freaking what’s it called? Curly fries, pico de gallo, and chipotle chile de arbol hot sauce. Your move, Nicole. Okay, so as you know, we’re gonna be making a steak burrito, but we’re not making just any steak burrito.
We’re gonna make a really good steak burrito. The literal title- The best! The literal title of this burrito is a really good steak burrito. Good-ass steak burrito. So, Vee, tell the people, fine people at home when we’re gonna do. I’m going to be making a nice pico with some tomatoes,
Some onions, and some jalapeno. And you’re cutting some cilantro for me. That’s right. And I’ll squeeze some limes in here eventually. I need a spoon. I got you one. Oh yeah? Yeah. Wow. There you go. What a sis. Yeah, I’m your sister. That’s good sis.
And you will be making a marinade for our skirt steak. That’s right. So the guys did a what, a beer- Like, a- Lime cilantro onion situation. Yeah, kinda spicy vibe. So, I mean, that’s all fine and dandy, but I personally, I like mine with a little bit of,
I don’t know, uniqueness, you know? ‘Cause, like unique New York. So we’re doing a little bit more of a unique marinade, but it’ll still kind of act just like a classic marinade. Here’s your cilantro. You can grab however much or however little you need. I like a lot.
Yeah, Vee’s pico making skills are incredible, so I just kinda left it with her ’cause she knows how to make a really bomb salsa. Shout out my mother. She taught me how. Yeah, and I’m gonna take some of the rest of the cilantro and we’re gonna start building our marinade. Nice.
So a little bit of cilantro. We got some onion. So this is the secret to making meat taste really delicious is just cutting up a bunch of onions and then making sure you keep the juice and the pulp. It breaks down all of the meat and makes it really, really delicious.
I saw you do that with lamb chops one time and now I just started doing it all the time, so it’s great to see you do it again. It’s really, really delicious. You’re consistent. I’m a consistent young woman. All right, so here’s some cola,
And then again, a splash of soy sauce to give you that, ooh, what is that flavor? Ooh. I think the soy imparts a really nice, delicious, unique flavor. Again, unique! New York! So I’m squeezing a lime, a lemon, and some orange in there too to give us a really nice
Bright flavor in our marinade. That already looks like a delicious soup. Yeah, right? I know, man. Meat soup. So we vc seal everything. I would say Lily does it about seven times a day. So we all got into the habit of doing that and now we’re gonna do that now.
Yeah, so the art of vac sealing is marinating in record time so you don’t have to cheat like Josh and Trevor did and marinate the day before. Yeah. Yeah, we didn’t do that. What do you think marinating is? That’s what frat bros do. They cheat. Yeah.
Okay, I’m not gonna pour all of it in, but most of it in. Okay. Why not? Fine. Screw it. YOLO. Yeah. There you go, Nicole. Okay, then we’re gonna seal it. And then you’re gonna see magic happen right now. Yes. I push buttons. You’re gonna see Vee literally do magic. Okay. Nice.
Do I have cilantro in my teeth? No, you don’t. You don’t have, oh wait, it’s in the back, right here. Do you want me to get it? Yeah. Do I get it? Are you gonna let me put my finger in your mouth? Things are happening in here. It’s a secret. Ooh.
Oh yeah, we like that sound. All right. We like that sound. All right, so as you can see, our bag is sealed. Our meat is nice and safe. Yes. If we were to flip it over, no liquid will come out, see? Did we lie? Never. We don’t lie here.
So I’m gonna make a guacamole, Vee. What are you gonna do? I’m going to sear the steak that we marinated for five minutes. Literally five minutes, and it’s so crazy how it imparts just so much flavor into the meat. Yeah, it’s great. So I’m gonna take some garlic cloves
And I’m gonna add some salt and I’m just gonna let this break down a little bit. How often do you partake in burrito eating, Vee? Every day. My favorite thing to do is grab burritos and one, either sneak ’em into the movie theater or eat it in traffic. You eat burritos in traffic?
Yes, I do. Makes the time go by a little bit. More oil. That’s great. You’re gonna start a grease fire in about five seconds. Yep. It’s okay. There’s been fires in here before. That’s right. Yeah. So now I’m just gonna take some gorgeous avocados. These are the most beautiful avocados I’ve ever seen.
Smokey Robinson in this house. Yeah, so that looks- Oh yeah. I mean, that would look beautiful just on a plate. That’s true, yeah. Let’s taste it. Let’s see what it tastes like. I like grabbing a little middle piece. Yeah. Little middle piece. Mm. Wow. Five minute marinade, it works! I told you.
Isn’t that crazy? I really taste the orange in there, surprisingly. It’s gorgeous. It’s so good. I love it. Chop it up a little bit more, baby. All right, let’s do it, let’s do it. Move that over. That’s pretty damn good. Yeah, I like it a lot.
It’s different but familiar, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, it makes you feel like home. Aww, that’s cute. I mean, I like home. Thanks, Nicole. Isn’t it nice when food can do that? Am I home? Is this our casa? This isn’t our mojo doja boy casa. This is our lovely lady home.
All right, so we got all of our steak burrito ingredients ready to go. We got our gorgeous steak, we got our fresh guac, we got our stunning pico, and we got some queso chihuahua and some queso quesadilla, which are incredible melting cheeses, and they’re gonna impart a beautiful, fresh, yummy, creamy flavor.
Good pull. That every good burrito needs. So I’m gonna literally, I hope you know, I never made burritos until I started working here. Josh taught me how to make burritos. Are serious? Josh taught me how to assemble a proper burrito. I didn’t, I never needed it. I would just go get burritos out.
But no, honey. He makes burritos out of everything, by the way. Oh my God. Like, literally everything. I’m literally taking everything out of the Josh Scherer burrito playbook right now. He would be very proud of us. So I’m just gonna put it on here. Go ahead and add the steak, Vee.
Go ahead and pile it on there. I shall. I don’t like a lot of carbs in my burrito. No. I like it to just be- No rice. A crap ton of meat and soft stuff. It’s always meat, cheese, and chili. Those are my go-tos. Yeah. Same.
And then we’re gonna add two kinds of hot sauce. We got a habanero hot sauce and a classic red hot sauce. So we’re just gonna gently… Yeah. Gently? Yeah, it’s gonna be a little spicy, a little bit. And then some stunning guacamole. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Mm-hmm. And then some pic. And then some pic.
Do it, Vee. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it. All righty. Okay, so I’m gonna fold. Fold. Fold with confidence, right? And roll. Tuck and roll, tuck and roll, like this, like this, right? Like it’s a fire drill. Pretty good, right? Yeah, that’s gorgeous, yeah, yeah. And then we’re gonna seal the deal.
Seal the deal. Uh-huh. Nice and neat. Nice, nice. So we’re just gonna let this griddle so the cheese can get nice and melty. Cheese roll. Cheese roll. Because our cheese roll and our roll is just better than theirs. Did you see that? What was that chaos all about? It was tacky.
And then there you have it. The really, really good steak burrito. You’re welcome. Brother KG. What up? Your ZZZ nickname will be squirrel. Why? You look like a squirrel. I’m just kidding, no. Dang! Oh my God! Points, points! Squirrels are cute. Points deducted. Demerit. KG, are you ready to eat some steak burritos
And decide whose is better? I am so excited. Which one do you wanna eat first? You can choose. Well, you started talking, so do you wanna describe- Our burrito’s colder. So we have made our official Pacific Beach fratty California burrito with seasoned curly fries, marinated prime rib steak in onion juice,
Plenty of chiles, and a little bit of beer, ’cause you know how much we love beer? Yeah. We got some avocado. We got cream of Trevor crema in there. We got our fratty spice hot sauce. Please liberally add that to any bite you want. A little pico de gallo and avocado. Enjoy.
I agree. Yellow cheese. I like how there’s a sauce option. Some avocado got in there. Yeah, that’s huge. That’s really big for us. Okay. Big bite. You gotta get a bite from the other side, too. Like, no, you gotta- Don’t teach her how to eat a burrito.
Yeah, don’t tell her what to do. It’s too bro of you. Gosh. Yeah, gotta slurp it. Wait, see that pocket of juice? You go . That’s for you. I’m saving that for you. Can I have it? Oh my God. Josh, wait, bro. Hey, why can’t you just wait? Josh, just wait, just wait.
Look, you’re spilling on people, man. It’s really good. It’s a little mushy. It is very saucy. A lot of liquid in there. Cooked it an hour ago, thank you. But it’s really good. This, I love this option to put on top. I love putting salsa on top. Okay. KG, hello. Hello.
For you we have a really, really good steak burrito with pico de gallo, guac, some marinated steak, and two different kinds of hot sauce in there. Please enjoy. Oh, there’s also two kinds of cheese. We got queso quesadilla and what was the other one? Queso chihuahua. Queso chihuahua, that’s right. Enjoy.
No actual chihuahuas were damaged in this making. Oh my God. This is really good, too. I love the spice. It’s not as wet. Yeah, that’s a demerit on them. This one definitely tastes more burnt and this one I like ’cause it’s very juicy and very well seasoned.
So I think I’m ready to pick what burrito. KG, in three, two, one, you’ll put your hand over the winning burrito, and I squirrel, if you screw this up for us, dude, you’re not getting invited to formal this year. Oh man. In three, two, one. Yeah! Sisterhood! Bro, we suck, dude. Thanks, KG.
We’re gonna get laughed at by the whole improv frat. KG, thank you so much. Y’all did an incredible job. And Nicole and Vee, you beat me at my own game, ’cause that is actually my favorite burrito of all time. And I, we deviated. We put the fries in there.
I’m so proud of our effort. KG, thank you so much for stopping by and eating our burritos with us. Always here. Always here. Remember, go to mythical.com and buy yourself some fratty spice and cream of Trevor, now available at discount prices. See y’all next time, dudes. Go to war with bland cooking
And start seasoning your damn food with a Mythical Kitchen salt well, available now at mythical.com.
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