But she wasn’t I can sing better than you but she wasn’t hitting any balls but into the hole but I was like dude what how do you yeah you want yeah it was totally seeing double but I was but but still it was blow my mind I was like
You’re so amazing because she was like knowing all the rules and saying all this [ __ ] and I’m like watch my best friend get my pool and I was like what do you do how do you do when did you do this and she goes funerals I’m like um Welcome back to another episode of Plan B uncut presented by pirate water if you’re listening to this then we know you know how to have a good time and we found the perfect drink to level up any occasion it’s for the ragers the Spring Breakers the life of the party the
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And Miami Vice that’s right ladies and gentlemen she’s got it correct and if you want to get yours today you can go to drinkpiratewater.com or you can order it on this cool little app called gopuff let’s get into the show what’s up guys we’re in Chicago we’re on
A bed and it really feels like we’re about to film a porn it’s intimate it’s a lot different than Zoom which you’ve hated so much yeah guess what look we can touch each other now we’re on a bed together and we’re gonna talk to each other because this is intimate you guys
Should see this setup and it’s not AI at all it’s not AI dude we’re in Chicago for our first live show in a while very excited are you I’m very excited I’m really excited for it to be Chicago my well I’m the king of Chicago I know so
For it to be Chicago it’s very important to me I know I’m really about you I’m really excited for you dude because you’re the king of Chicago well thank you dude this feels way better and way more exciting than going on the drinking Taurus yeah no do you know the mental
Prep it was to do the drinking tours like hell or were they called the drinking doors when they were fun they were sure were a blast but now we’re 37 years old and these boobs have been milking kids so that’s what we were telling the Uber driver earlier yeah I ordered pirate
Water on drizzly and uh when I went to go pick it up they were like can I get some ID please I’m like dude seriously these tits have been Milking for years okay yeah we’re not doing a porn even though it seems like it we’re not I know
A lot of innuendos dude I don’t know where this is coming from but I was thinking about it okay so I saw I saw some Tick Tock I think it was from Carly and Matt um and they were talking about things you thought were real when you were a
Kid and I remember like I have this Vivid vivid memory this girl Riley dude Riley you were so mean to me damn oh shoot the [ __ ] dude she was so mean to me so mean okay so my best friend was Amanda when I was a kid yes okay this is
When I lived in South Boston we went to Catholic school and I got religious trauma okay so my best friend was Amanda and then I don’t know I don’t know what she’s gonna hear any of this right yeah I’m sure she supports from other well anyways it’s funny now I’m happy for you
Riley I hope everything’s good but you so you showing to me so my best friend Amanda me and her we’re having a good time in school we’re besties we’re Inseparable there’s only 16 kids in my class let alone five girls in my whole entire grade damn okay so Amanda was
Mine wait only five girls out of 16. yeah it’s a lot of meat I know okay we were children okay all right relax the bed’s setting you off in a weird way okay all right well anyways dude me and Amanda called Amanda when we were kids she’s using fake names yeah sure
We’re best friends and then Riley comes to our school she wanted Mandy dude it’s not wasn’t fair she was so mean to me she called me all these crazy names and then she would call what kind of names I don’t remember it was so mean
But I’ll be so mean back I just remember dude we would have go back and forth like we got into this really crazy fight I look back on it we would be in line you know and it’s like get in line everyone leader line [ __ ] yeah we’d be
In the line her cousin was these are all fake names everybody’s being um uh taken care of safely it would be me and then and then Riley in line and then Amanda would be somewhere up top and I would um Riley would like yell stuff up to me and would tap me on
The shoulder and she’d be like you ugly [ __ ] poor broke [ __ ] and then I turn around and be like dude you’re so mean and you are so ugly and we would scream at each other in the line anyways we’re on the um didn’t the nuns hit you
No dude we only had one nun standing and she was senile uh there was only one none left so none’s got to hurt first yeah dude my [ __ ] kindergarten teacher it was really traumatic she had diabetes that wasn’t a traumatic part though but She fainted in class one day
Oh and dropped dead on the ground we were four it was Kindergarten two dude so everyone was like dead she’s dead this is the poor school he didn’t have teacher aids or anything so we’re just four-year-olds in a classroom with dead kids I mean it’s a dead teacher was
There like a powerful four-year-old that stood up and like took over we all started screaming crying I should have honestly said that yet but dude no everyone started screaming crying so teachers ran in and it was like out of a movie imagine four-year-old screaming crying out of a movie though someone ran in
With the Snickers and just gave it to her and she woke up you know you when you’re hungry I know dude and I was like she’s got to be on the team but anyways we’re on the schoolyard one day and Riley yeah she was so Advanced like she
Always like she knew things like she knew about drinking and like drugs second grade second grade second grade like she would talk about but she didn’t actually know what she was talking about but she like heard it from her older siblings there’s always that one kid
Dude and I was like this is so cool dude oh I just remembered something dramatic she said to me all right I got this mole in my arm mm-hmm there was a hair coming out of it when we were we were rolling around uh one of
The like uh polls at gym with the tetherball she goes hey hey every monkey you gotta shave your mole very specifically mean I know specifically mean anyway so we’re in line we’re in line to go uh to up to class this is before school even started because you’d start in The Recess yard
To before we go into school and we’d say our prayers and then we’d go in yeah she’s starts talking all this [ __ ] she’s like you guys know if you missed your period you’re pregnant so my so I didn’t even barely know what a period was but I until
Probably like eighth grade thought if you’re not getting your period without even having sex you’re pregnant oh damn dude and it was so crazy like I wasn’t having my period And I was like and I just came from uh Catholic school so I’m like I’m Virgin Mary no way yeah
A lot to carry and I could not talk to my family about this dude it would be the New Testament dude I never was Gracie it was crazy do you have anything when you were little you believed that you truly thought was real well the radio I thought every I thought they were
Playing live I thought everyone felt this way well the radio the radio I feel like it’s like a very common one where um everyone thought the people were inside the radio I wasn’t that stupid wait what do you mean a lot of people think that like when they were a kid that the
People were inside the radio talking but I versus inside the in physically inside I’ve heard this before from other people but for me I was a lot smarter than everyone we were kids physically thought there were people not everyone there’s a decent good amount and I know you guys
Gonna have me on that one some people might okay some people no I just think this is funny ah is a lot smarter than that I just thought that um every time they played a song they were playing it live in studio every time dude that’d be crazy everyone
Would have to be in the studio at all times NPR 24 7. that’s crazy when did you find out that wasn’t true just now oh God yeah I feel like there’s so many more of those remember Disney Radio Disney Radio yeah that’s all I [ __ ] up
Dude they had a um they had a party at like the local y and I went to it Disney Radio the Disney Radio it’s a local Disney radio stations where they would say you have to pay 500 to become an actor and become a Disney Channel star and then you would go to
This acting thing and it would just you just lose 500 bucks they’d scam you out of your money and then you would never become an actor no this was different but I went to that too dude yeah where was it in Braintree I think it was
Impressive I think we went at the same time I think we’ve talked about this yeah and dude I’m watching this presentation that they’re given and my mom’s right there with me because she she didn’t know I was gonna be stuck and watching the presentation and I’m like
This is epic I had no idea this is how it works this is amazing my opportunity all I have to do is just all my mom’s got to do she’s gotta cough up that 500 and I’m in on the next Hannah Montana and uh power PowerPoint ended and uh my mom
Said no [ __ ] shot I said what do you mean you just be you’re being [ __ ] broke something broke I’m about to be a stop I’m not worth 500 to you dude I like I walked out of there I’m like I have no respect I need an agent I’m like yeah you’re not
Gonna do it for me because I’m gonna have to do this myself you’re so [ __ ] broke you’re being so broke and you know you you want me oh dude I was I walked out of there [ __ ] upset how did you feel ah dude I just uh dude I remember going
In and I’m like walking and looking at all these [ __ ] kids oh my gosh you think you’re gonna be not a few [ __ ] look like Annie I’ve got it dude I was like I’m an F1 NASCAR driver yeah which we gotta talk about have we ever talked about it
You’re blowing someone’s mind the other day everyone’s mind is blown and it seems like a fake party trick okay when I was a kid my dad put me in professional go-kart racing because my dream was to be Danica Patrick if you don’t know who Danica Patrick was she
Was like the first or like the biggest female [ __ ] Formula One racer Danica Patrick is then you’re not a feminist that’s honestly so true um anyway so I thought it was gonna be her my dad I was my dad’s fourth daughter he wanted me to be a boy he
Made me play football he made me play hockey he made me play everything and he put me in professional race car driving and what did you feel about that dude I was a legend so I walked into this I walked into dude a legend until I got
Into a really bad crash and it changed my game forever my dad never let me [Laughter] dude that’s literally the plot of Talladega Nights we realize we are Talladega Nights yeah dude this is one part where he’s he’s about to race off Will Ferrell and the other guy I can
Never remember his name uh Danny McBride no but I love him I just want to talk about it I know he’s cool the other guy the other guys um just like wishing him well and he’s like hey all right good luck on that good luck on that I’ll see you out there
Buddy he’s like yeah all right thanks man and he’s like no dude I just like you’re my best friend and he’s like yeah no I know thanks yeah you’re my best friend and they knuckle punch and then he goes man dude I also love you and
He’s like yeah no I love you too man I’ll see you and then he has big accident they raced so we could pod profoundly do you mind if I Vape uh uh yeah I do okay that’s all right that’s fine anyways I was in Legend a nasty Legend
You could Vape it’s fine oh thank you I’m Danica Patrick so I walk no but I’m walking into this thing I probably just left race in practice because I’m [ __ ] nine and I walk in and I’m like I got my probably my helmet in my hand doesn’t look like I gotta be different
Because dude imagine it’s like by yourself up to my ears because my dad brought me dude my dad was [ __ ] no I should I should at this point like this is gonna sound crazy but he was breeding me to be transgender like he was making me think
I should have been a guy he made me cut all my hair off I wore boxers he made me play football maybe a race car driver I just wanted that boy man dude I’m like I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you that actually makes me feel better because he
Guess I guess he’s more liberal than I thought oh yeah I hope he’s not listening um don’t doubt he can’t he can’t see straight um I love you Daddy oh but I don’t call him that I didn’t mean it like that I’m your son okay oh shoot this porno a lot
Dude okay so anyways I’m walking in such a badass man so my dad brought me I think two days before like before my biggest this is crazy I’m just remembering all this stuff before my biggest like uh race it was like the end of the year was like the biggest race
Where you like finalize and then you like go to Vegas and race wanna know what No One’s Gonna believe me my dad’s my only [ __ ] Alibi on this [ __ ] but anyways [ __ ] my last race right this is after my crash dude this was my Redemption my pedal so there
Would you do the mental prep to get back into into the game listen all right this was in oh wait this is oh wait all right you’re right that was nine oh yeah oh wait somewhere so dude is our final race we gotta qualify for Vegas right
In these race cars are built for adults so you have to put extenders on the pedals so that seems not safe so that your feet can reach them because if not then your child and you’d be under the steering wheel so I have the biggest Extender on mine because I’m a little
Kid right and I got all the boys with me you know it’s just not it’s not safe so I got my Extender on last lap extended falls off you gotta be [ __ ] extender falls off the gas extend it falls off the gas guess what breed did won the
Race no [ __ ] instead of fell off on the race dude before my dad because he was not [ __ ] with me after those terrible couple races after my bad crash I was like dude it’s like one of those movies no but it’s like Troy Bolton where you let him down
Letting my dad down I’ve got to win this race dude so I’m I’m winning this race man and my head’s under the [ __ ] steering wheel my [ __ ] extender fell off dude Standing Ovation man it was crazy I get out and I’ll take my helmet off I gotta do this yes like a surfer
Because I had no [ __ ] hair cause my dad made me get a haircut you know we actually bought the big race to like spark something in me he made me get my hair of course I had long luscious beautiful hair and he was like you gotta get a [ __ ] haircut I’m like what’s
That what do you mean it’s like you got your big race I’m like okay what are you [ __ ] talking about he’s like we’re gonna go buy this so we couldn’t afford any of this stuff at the actual well like the race in place because the helmets were like 400 bucks yeah that’s
Crazy so he was meeting a bunch of guys on Craigslist for uh parts and stuff that I could buy yeah something that might have fell off a truck yeah one of those things so he was like I’m getting you a new helmet tomorrow you’re getting a haircut and you’re gonna win this race
Family you’re [ __ ] better dude he gets me my haircut we drive to some sketchy guy’s apartment I buy this helmet off a guy from Craigslist and he’s like you’re gonna win this [ __ ] brace I’m like okay I’m gonna win this [ __ ] race like kind of put a new
[ __ ] pep in my step and I was like you got the did you keep your hair flip going on yeah so I get my helmet I get my hair cut extended falls off and I take the dub man and dude there was this kid in
My league Who Came From Russia I bet it was out of your league dude I was out of his [ __ ] way with that shag dude but he came from Russia and his dad was like so Russian didn’t speak any English and it’s like little boy he’s
The kid in the picture I always show are you thinking of Rocky this sound like Rocky this is yeah it’s the plot to Rocky he’s gotta win this next fight and some Russian like challenges foreign [Laughter] my dad doesn’t speak Russian and it’s me and the kid they’re like trying to
Translate it it was crazy dude and it’s in you know remember Funland this isn’t you guys aren’t gonna know this but Funland and Hanson yes yes there’s a racetrack there yeah that’s where it was oh [ __ ] dude and after this big blowout fight my dad’s like you just want to do
Bumper bumper cars and I’m like oh dude we did bump because we went home got a Dunkin Donuts Bagel it’s vivid memory because it was trauma yeah I’ve never heard this something just opened up I grew my hair back and I never raced again dude the little kid
Um hit you because he thought you were a boy oh man dude I probably hit him um he was kind of yeah a Russian [ __ ] I mean I was a man so like I said I go into this [ __ ] Disney Channel Try out [ __ ] what a Segway
And you dude I had the same feeling as you I’m walking in I’m like you guys literally didn’t just beat a Russian with no pedal what are you even talking about I’m doing second grade math I’m like you have no idea my dad’s crazy so
I go in I think my sister brought me honestly and I think she paid for it too because she was trying to make some money dude I went in whatever went so far she would have paid every [ __ ] person off until you got it dude I know
But anyways I went in same PowerPoint [ __ ] they were like this is a scam and the kids leave saying I’m gonna be a [ __ ] star I know and it didn’t work out guess what stars in our own way I’m gonna pimp my kid out I’ve already said
That ah dude I’m not even gonna do that I totally gonna do that I couldn’t live my dream well my kid’s going to do it and I’m going to live it through them and I’m gonna be that [ __ ] parent and they’re gonna be destroyed they’re gonna
Start doing drugs with me at 10 o’clock at 10 o’clock when they’re 10 years old basically she’s gonna end up being Drew Barrymore and everyone loves her so it doesn’t matter she’s got a good show yeah also do you know what my mom just found I’m not even gonna say whatever [Laughter]
Um anyways she found my uh fifth grade talent show uh DVD the singing One lip singing with an air guitar nope I was full singing baby there’s no track behind it Demi Lovato Demi Lovato um what is the song I’m not a supermodel that one everybody
On stage is cackling before I even go on tackling because I saw the rehearsal like losing their minds like something some [ __ ] I’m like this was the year before I can’t believe that [ __ ] was laughing at me dude dude if I was there in fourth grade and
I saw you doing this I would have been like we’re going big together Jared dude I went out there I I I used to take myself confident dude I know me too where did it go though oh dude no thank God it’s gone this is like too much
Confidence oh too much I don’t even think of the same thing because we can’t sing and we would sing it every talent show I would sing JoJo get out leave right now and like with the drama dude and I would get second place and I’m
Like this is pity yeah dude but what the [ __ ] where did that confidence did you go what’s going on if we went to my Campground together do we have a Duo I mean things would have been two different ways no we would have been too Famous by now yeah Jude seriously
Thank God we kept it Slow Rolling especially thank God they kept the agents out of our talent shows I know do you know you guys um that we did the fifth grade talent show together and what was the first song we wanted to do it too
Um Lady Gaga star struck star struck oh do you know Grace never had to learn another dance since then fifth grade talent show dance work it back filtered that maybe bump that track it was like half of we like just basically stole the choreography to um the cheerleaders and I didn’t make
The cheerleading team so I was like this is my time to shine this is dude this is my way of showing them I deserved it I can’t believe you didn’t make the cheerleading team like the sideline team at least because you had so much pep in your stuff I had so much
Pep in life I still had a little bit of flavor of confidence left that’s what I’m saying you couldn’t do the tricks but you had heart I had heart and soul what like so many more games like Grace screaming on the sidelines for the loves of her life I’m more of a mascot
[Laughter] who takes the hat off so you can see their face and then they say wow everybody loves a mouse that thing was under there I know that’s a beautiful Talent dude I picture you I picture you put it on a mascot suit and like all of a sudden you get superhero
Do like so many backflips and tricks and you’re just like so epic but you can’t do anything without the mask on that’s what gives me confidence absolutely I like wear it on dates if I show up I mean like I can do drugs the dinosaurs I was picturing this like big puppy dog
Oh oh this is a weird Subway but um meant to ask the other day and it’s stupid but you know like uh Real Housewives I know okay so when the show starts they uh they give like I’m Monica if you [ __ ] with me you [ __ ] with my
Family I give a tagline thank you for the word yeah uh what would your tagline be I am Danica Patrick what would yours be as a kid or as an adult a tween oh if you step to me I’ll back right off okay that’s that’s actually that’s comforting no it’s comforting do you think when your tween slow could be my tween slogan would be I’m suicidal
Please stop making fun of my acne on my chest please don’t look at my chest one day I’m gonna have clear skin no mommy [ __ ] you Scotty from seventh grade math classes Scotty for real life I’ve never forgot about him damn it all goes back to middle school
For real it does and it always goes back to [ __ ] Scotty man [ __ ] man yo yeah I bet you guys had a Scotty in middle schoolers there’s this one guy that always made fun of the way you looked I had I had teachers Mrs cook I’m just
Gonna go ahead and say it she’s probably not even still alive oh God that’s mean no that’s life you die it’s a circle die some people die and I’m all gonna die you know as we grow we die how beautiful is that I hate that that’s like it
That’s pessimistic as we’re growing no as we’re growing we’re dying but it’s beautiful so you have to live every day as soon as it gets your last unless we dying we’re growing I think I like that better that’s what dime we’re growing yeah yeah it’s the same thing it’s just
Una reverse I love it anyways Miss Cook she framed me this dude I understand why I’m so terrified of being friends as as I’m being oh matching we went to a party together um I’m so understanding why I’m uh my biggest fear uh you guys know as I talk
About all the time is Being Framed for murder and I know why on my biggest experience Being Framed for murder now because sixth grade Mrs cook someone stole her [ __ ] soap you know how there was like this thing in school where it’s like yeah you brought the soap to the
Bathroom do you remember that that’s why you’re on my side one of my home runs on your side well I know you’re on my side but this was like a thing there was like side a inside B in Middle School whatever in my homeroom there was like
Soap where like when someone had to go to the bathroom there was like these soap bottles that you’d bring what yeah I was on your side I don’t remember that but you weren’t in my home room okay um and this was this was like a thing
Dude it was like she had this like there’s all these bottles of [ __ ] soap and someone stole her [ __ ] soap why I don’t as you know have never washed my hands before so she [ __ ] oh yeah dude now I’m backing myself up I’m standing up for myself I’m not you
[ __ ] cook you are a [ __ ] oh she’s cooking cook oh my god dude she might be cooking oh come on you said it I know I I would have attracted I want to retract it let’s retract that I think she’s alive I know she is good and well but also very
Uh apologetic for how she treated us yeah anyways so she framed me for stealing her [ __ ] soap someone stole [ __ ] out of her room and we’re all in homeroom one day and she’s like so the soap’s gone and then soap looks at me I’m like okay she’s like so where’s the
Soap go Brianna I’m like what Mrs [ __ ] cook and then she said in front of the whole class and I’m a thief and I stole her [ __ ] soap dude and I was labeled as a thief man and all the teachers thought I was a thief I am not
A thief man I am not a [ __ ] thief and I I have the whole [ __ ] Middle School everyone was like oh this kid’s a bad kid because Miss Cook said so and that’s why I’m scared to be in framed for murder yeah Grace any person of power says anything
Negative against you then you lose you lose you lose and also I also realize that I have never felt comfortable being my own self in front of somebody of a person of power when somebody has an upper hand over me I have never been able to be myself
Never not a once they all think I’m a little scared wet cat I don’t think you’re a scared what cat I’m not but when it comes to people of power I can’t hold my own I can’t oh we gotta work on that Brianna I know that’s my
Only Power I think I could be strong in a room strong a cave like a cave that’s been exploded that’s why we’re best friends and things you lack and I help and in things I lack and you help and that’s ying and that’s Yang and that’s cheers I think we’re pretty much the
Same besides that we’re Disney Superstars as children we didn’t fall for the scam dude Mrs cook made me stay you see this is this is where I was like from day one you should have [ __ ] stood up for yourself on my birthday for detention what an evil Twisted
Little four foot [ __ ] two monster with a bad haircut worse than the one my dad made me get and that’s bad oh you’re so mean how can you be mean to 10 year olds truly I I know why she could be mean though she did have one kid in her
Class that like threw all the books out the window who a she’s a mother now that was a bad kid why don’t we pin it on the bad kid I know why don’t we put it on the good kid the guy [ __ ] straight A’s Miss Cook that was uh those were pivotal years
That that grade you know who I will say was the most beautiful teacher in the world and Shout Out Mr Gala oh she was awesome oh dude dude we gotta insert can we insert a couple clips of our seventh grade I mean of our uh fifth grade math
Class projects I have to dude so me and Grace wait sixth grade still yeah me and Grace were Partners in our math class I think this is what became Us best friends in math this became Us best friends they did though it did we uh going camping together yeah we did do we
Even tell that story no we should we’ll do that one’s better we had a funny fifth grade math project with a lot of math magic she would show our math project for like three years after saying this is what you want to be because we loved editing
Videos and the two of us together uh dude we made our video like 20 minutes long yeah because we loved making it so much and me and me and Brianna would just go back and forth say dude iMovie yeah and I was like dude I’ve been making movies on this let’s make a
Movie dude we ate it up everyone else is in the class two minutes long ours was 20. dude that’s because we just kept kept having like fantastic ideas and like at one point realizing going back to the talent shows in this well we kind of lose this yeah
Big time huh big time Big Time and then someone and someone was like haha loser and then it’s like oh [ __ ] I gotta get cool oh [ __ ] I gotta Beach I gotta go on the cheerleading team now yeah and then being cool like you lose you just get
Drunk yeah stupid it’s honestly stupid I wish I would I wish I was scared I wish I was a theater so bad and Ben me too we could have been we were supposed to be mad I came to if I came to our town that
We grew up in in fourth grade when I saw you like I said up on that stage and I still had my heart of [ __ ] dude I would sing all of my Catholic songs we might have been Arch enemies though because if we never lost our confidence
Yes is that our name yeah um Hodgins I had a sex tape leak and how scandalous it was Ashley and Vanessa I wish uh Troy and Vanessa he’s sick why are we doing the name thing Zach I promise Vanessa Hudgens remember all those those dirty pictures oh they’re the dirty pictures
But that’s so not fair they’re literally teens oh so that’s wrong yeah no it’s really [ __ ] up like you know liquid nude leaks in high school and everyone sees it unfortunately for them it’s the whole world they go to the public high school the public eye View High School yeah public
Opinion high school and Wildcat High School it’s a dog okay so I can sing good opera we yeah I got that too um better than you did we would have been I think we would have been Matt and Ben what I think we would have been Matt and Ben yeah no
Dude seriously dude it just took us a little while to get there and then we got drug and alcohol problems and then it kind of like [ __ ] up our whole [ __ ] now we’re back to go back to good we’re getting creative we’re back in a flow
Yeah I don’t know I wish this was just a live show I know seriously if that’s something we’re gonna do tomorrow oh we’re doing the thing that we did for the last live show we don’t talk about it until it’s time to go on stage and boy is it gonna be good
I can totally um try and figure that out today but we said no no no no no we’re gonna go to dinner everyone in the room who’s on our team is um they all just like start sweating so much no we always win yeah no we’re winning winning season man dude like I
Said before this pod you’ve never been to Kentucky right dude I want to say one more thing before we go to Kentucky because that’s scary scary everybody say everything they want to talk about I was talking to someone recently and they said chemistry is not something you can create
Unless you’re a chemist [ __ ] dude come on stop so it was gonna actually be a lovely moment say it again I love you all right Kentucky no but that’s so right yeah I know I really needed that I don’t know dude no but for real that’s
True but you can’t you can’t dude two people trying to trying to do something together chemistry in a lab not between people [ __ ] right there because we’re not tubes no I got those tied I will never do that I’m gonna get my uterus out like what friends in the family Kentucky
Dude I just okay I was driving through Kentucky mm-hmm and we forgot a horse and buggy by chance possibly it might as well that’s always it dude I might as well man so I’m driving through Kentucky man you gotta speak up now I’m driving through Kentucky man and
I’m sorry if you’re from Kentucky if you’re listening but it’s a terrifying place in the night um dude I just like forget there are so many scary places in the United States of America that are not in New York City because we live in a bubble we live in a
Dome we live in pretty much it’s like it’s like we’re Infinity’s and Ferb I always feel there’s 104 days of summer vacation and it never ends oh that’s that infinite these are that many days in summer vacation yeah and you were going for 107 of them I was
Gone for a lot of Summer dude [ __ ] that New York [ __ ] though I hate New York in the summer oh I love New York uh I don’t like New York in The Summer’s too hot it’s really hot and here’s the thing about New York in the winter it’s just
As hot because you’re all bundled up and you’re sweating oh that’s not around I know you’re always yeah I want to get all my pores clogged oh I guess I would blow up like Mrs Puff who called you Mrs Puff oh somebody did Susie
Oh it was a joke it was all jokes I thought it was something deep-rooted remember how I don’t even want to say it but it’s not like she’ll ever listen to the Pod and no one will clip it remember that girl that we talked about in the
Last part that I’ve been beefing with on Tech talk yes she started talking about you when I really I really had a lot of [ __ ] yeah I know Jeremy [ __ ] shave drafts I have that could get me put in jail towards that girl didn’t you know how many do you I
Almost went to prison after she started talking about you dude dude and I was like this is what she wants but I don’t care if it’s what she wants she doesn’t get to say that stuff about my best friend she she was saying such mean things about
You and then she was deleting them and she deletes all of her comments so there’s this girl in text I’m not even gonna say name Trollface who if you guys have seen on my main page we’ve been going back and forth she’s just like a terrible human being she’s a
Insignificant tiny worm of a human being that just hates the world and hates herself and I feel bad for her but dude she needs a hug and she needs to know also here’s the thing I don’t care what you’ve been through what happened in your life like I can guarantee mine’s
Been 10 times worse still a good person everyone’s [ __ ] is bad everyone has a sad life you don’t have to be a bad person it doesn’t yeah you don’t because bad things happen to you doesn’t make you bad yeah your [ __ ] doesn’t stink [ __ ] more than anyone else is so
Anyways this girl we’re going back and forth and she deleted she deletes all of her comments because they’re all against her she deletes them all and then she goes on to make fun of people and be like well if you if you’re posting on the internet you got to be able to take
It as you I’m not like are you not the biggest hypocrite in the whole entire world and then she started commenting a bunch of mean stuff about you and then deleting her comments after people were like are you [ __ ] serious [ __ ] I got screenshots if you need them I know
There’s a lot of things that I want to say about this woman but i s like I said I would go to jail um it’s not even about her just I just can’t believe that there’s people on the internet like that exists I just don’t understand how that is a
Fun existence for you there they have a lot of deep-rooted [ __ ] that they just personally can’t work out and they need to take it out on other people it’s just like but like she clearly feeds off of it and like likes it yeah she gets a
Like a bigger grin in every video yeah dude [ __ ] like that that makes me believe in God because I’m like the devil has to be real like something terrible lives inside of you yeah like to be like that as a human being it’s like oh God heaven
We gotta go to heaven if there’s a hell [ __ ] Satan on Earth it’s crazy people are so mean but anyways yeah dude I just want you to know I almost uh I lost my almost lost all my accounts because she talked about you yo thank you Jordan seriously my videos were so terrible
Replying to her comments about you that they um they wouldn’t get posted for harassment and bullying yeah that’s why I have mine all banked up in the safe I know and I’m hammered I’m saying words that would get me in trouble yeah like with the police and the FBI
I’m not even kidding dude I might have like do you believe in the FBI I might have cited some historical events that have happened I called her yeah yeah we just leave that alone do you believe in the FBI do I believe in it honey I’m in it now you’re the witness protection
Program yeah shut up dude imagine this whole time these were aliases and we’re not real people we’re hiding from Whitey Bulger I mean it always goes back to whiting another funny story for you guys oh can you tell it um yeah Whitey’s dead yeah true there’s still some guys it’s fine
Um so there’s this mobster from Boston South Boston specifically where I’m from Grace’s parents are from uh my parents are from our families I’ve been there for two years that’s what the accent come from I’m so sick of that comment dude I know I’m like dude I don’t even know I’m
Doing it I hate it I hate it I know you just need to go to speed uh pathology classes I have a speech impediment and I have a literal learning disability and I’m literally crazy okay so leave her alone so is Whitey let’s get into it also superhero what you’re also a
Superhero I don’t know dude I also saw I’m all over the place but I saw Davis you know that guy on Tick Tock yes what’s Poppin yeah I saw him running up to people I saw him running up to people in Washington Square Park being like are
You in your villain era I was thinking how funny would it be if he for some reason had I had silly strings and he runs up to me and I’m just walking in the park and he’s like are you a new villain around let’s pull out no the superhero Spider-Man like kick
Him down your dream actually and I woke up and I was like that was so vivid I can’t believe it you don’t think that’s like something that could happen in New York no it could totally happen he just died I don’t know where that was killed well billionaire I was like no Spider-Man
Superhero era I watched before I went to bed and then I had this whole dream about I had a whole dream about Davis on tick tock all right guys quick commercial break this is an exclusive ticketing partner for Barstool Sports so it’s created by fans for fans game time is a ticketing
App that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports concerts and shows and they guarantee the lowest price so we got sizza coming up which we’re going to we’re going because we got tickets on game time oh mama I got tickets and
Fight again so we have uh Drake 21 Savage Zach Brian Luke Combs uh baseball football season dude it’s crazy that they put Zach Brian in this [ __ ] address it’s right there that’s hilarious okay but dude go to his concert I mean it makes sense it’s one
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Minute deals on tickets to Sports in all events so make sure to check it out let’s get back to the episode oh interesting yeah it ended well I like him he’s my friend so yeah yeah um superhero who would you be more Powers you want to talk powers
Um I think if I was a superhero oh man I think about this Spider-Man’s pretty sick Spider-Man’s sick clearly you can only have my dreams if I’m Spider-Man in Washington Square Park yeah that’s who I want to be subconsciously I was thinking Batman but he doesn’t have any powers he’s just
Super immortally strong he’s a miserable bastard but he saves people yeah and sick cars like convertible yeah but like he’s like doing it like not because he wants to but because he’s like yeah he’s like one of those guys or my parents died oh we were talking about
This um the other day you can’t be Spider-Man unless you live in a city yeah because there’s no you can’t you can’t shoot from Farm to farm in Oklahoma and get to the bad guys Kentucky oh God forbid what he needs to go to Kentucky yeah what superhero would
You be um Iron Man but he’s badass but he died worth it yeah he saved the world yeah but he’s like not even superheroes but he’s just a Super Genius which is cool yeah dude I would love to be smart yeah you have a learning disability you just
Said I know and I have a lot of other things that I listed off that I can’t even think of right now because I have a learning disability um yeah I guess Spider-Man’s cool I guess you probably want us to say Wonder Woman but she’s too hot man are you sweating
Wicked bad it will wake it up I’m always sweating bruh dude sambra [ __ ] man I think I’m just nervous with the [ __ ] I wonder did anybody of you guys even prank our boss um there was a good effort but unfortunately he’s too famous no unfortunately he only posts reels oh so
Like like tournaments there like don’t get really seen too well you know what I mean [ __ ] you guys tried I know it was really funny I was reading them all and it was hilarious that it was my birthday because if I ever got brought up he’d
Know my birthday you think he would know your birthday yeah it’s October 27th yeah I know my birthday um no but you think if he saw the Flyers he’d read October 27 they’d be like that’s Grace’s birthday no because it maybe possibly could have been brought
Up on BFF and he’d be like you did you prank me like what is this date significant to it my birthday and he’ll say oh my God I have to make sure I wish her a happy birthday I thought you were saying he would see the date and
Automatically be like ah this is a Grace break October 27th there’s God O’Malley written all over it no that guy hates birthdays no my um my code to my debit card is our birthdays maybe shouldn’t tell people that I’m the only one who has access to my cat hey
You guys don’t know our birthdays they’re not public record nope not October 27th Nocturne 17th look it up yeah so all my money’s gone we I just found out oh you think so well it just filled the world I keep getting a text debt collector yeah no I think I have
Debt though you might have debt but I don’t know but I would pay it I have money I just don’t know how to pay my debt yeah no they’re not gonna text you and tell you that they’re calling me too that’s so what so then how my family’s
Been ignoring those calls for years mine too that I my dad had to move out because IRS came oh yeah sorry um I was crazy we had to I don’t want to get in legal trouble everything we said we have learning disabilities dude but what was I saying before debt collectors
Yes well then how else are they supposed to collect your debt do they knock on your door go to your bank and steal your PIN code because you told them I honestly don’t know I don’t think they’re texting you if there’s a link don’t click the link
That’s what I’ve been told don’t click the link don’t did you click it no don’t I’m not stupid don’t click the link guys don’t click the link I’m not stupid but I’m curious and I think that goes for a lot of people yeah yeah no I’m I mean
Because I’m not stupid because I’ll have these like oh maybe I shouldn’t maybe I shouldn’t but I’m curious yeah no dude curious City killed the cat You Hate Cats no I don’t you have two that are very cool you miss them I do I sure do me too Grace I miss my Poncho
And noodle all right what are their names why would you say that I’m a Sentimental girl hey you got a lot of cats I have two it’s not that crazy we’re in Chicago we have a funny special guest coming on what happened to you they’re making an ollie
Okay yeah and I miss them no you don’t yeah I do [Laughter] dude but we’re in Chicago we have a funny special guest coming on oh my God I’m so excited for this special guest you guys when does this come out oh I can’t tell we can’t say no but it’s a funny little guy yeah he makes us crack
Up and he tells a lot of funny jokes dude he cracks me up he’s on the same page I know at all times always but he doesn’t even know what page he’s on he yeah guess who it is I uh he keeps uh I think he keeps a level-headed buzz on at
All times just like myself yeah he keeps himself on his toes because he’s falling forward a lot yeah because he’s drunk a lot been out with him like once I think and I was like wow you’re [ __ ] up me too are we best friends we want to make out right now because
That’s kind of a thing we’re in Chicago all right so we gotta we got a Chicago guest we got a dinner to go to We’re not gonna talk about a live show we’re just gonna get on stage and show a tits just like your funeral want
To talk about your funeral yeah can we just do that real quick this is our ending segment so I was talking about my funeral and uh well because we were talking about how did they get there we were talking about how like uh Irish Catholic Oh yes funerals or just Irish
Funerals funerals are fun and I don’t know if that goes for all Irish but in my family we have a blast it’s like very sad of course but then you go to the party we call it an after party I know it’s called an abravement we but we go
To the after party and we have a blast and we started that was I could not believe Grace can play pool because I’ve known her since I was 10. we hang out have hung we’ve never been separated since we were 10. we’ve been to lots of bars of pool tables she’s never picked
Up a pool stick we’re in Lincoln Nebraska yep the other week and we’re at a pool bar everyone’s playing pool we’re like all right let’s play and Grace is like I could play and then she starts like playing I mean you’re not that good
I don’t know if it’s claimed to be but I know the rules you and she’s saying all these rules and I’m like what you know that guy connoisseur I could be decent if it wasn’t on shrimps you could probably yeah no dude play pool way better than I
Could have a play pool and she knows all the rules but she wasn’t I can sing better than you but she wasn’t hitting any balls but into the hole but I was like dude what how do you yeah you want yeah double but I was but but still it was
Both my mind I was like you’re so amazing because she was like knowing all the rules and saying all this [ __ ] and I’m like watch my best friend you put pool and I was like what when did you do this and she goes funerals like like we’re not laughing like we’re
Both on shrooms so everything’s literal and we’re like so I’m like Oh Come what how do you how do you know yeah I tried to walk away I’m like funerals like when to go do it again she’s like funerals and then puts her hip on the [ __ ] table and I’m like
What all right this is pretty sick and then I just keep watching her she’s she’s not you know and I’m like wow this is cool but what dude because I’ve been with you ever forever or and you’ve never played pool or talked about it I mean yeah and it
Just came up and then she hit me with the Irish Catholic funerals yeah no so we would go to uh a lot of our uh family after parties for funerals would be at the same place and this place just so happened to have a pool table but like
Here’s the thing about Irish yeah funerals is you’re gonna be drinking from From Dusk Till Dawn and uh we you know we were kids and it’s not like we were being neglected there was a babysitter no but they weren’t drinking their parents were their parents were but it’s not like we were being
Neglected or anything but uh basically our parents were busy like you know um grieving and drinking and we were like you know what pool pool table there’s a pool table there we’re just gonna get really [ __ ] good at it every time we get here and so we just taught ourselves how
To play pool yeah and where were we going with that I think we’re just telling that you could play pool your funeral is going to be crazy so Irish Catholic funeral it’s got to be good I don’t want it in a church I think I might faint I think I’ll wrap this up
Quick as long as you can until I continue okay actually I want to see how long I can hold my breath don’t while you tell the story seriously don’t all right I’m gonna do it three two one tell your story okay so basically um I just want
My funeral to be really fun and I said it could be uh in a rave and it’s gonna be a rave funeral in Brooklyn open casket and I just want to see a lot of boobs a lot of boobs I’m gonna be there in spirit I’m not gonna be able to pass
On until I see tits and ass uh you could throw uh Mardi Gras beads at me as much as you want and uh Brianna’s gonna have me on a string like a marionette uh so I can look like I’m enjoying everything and uh thank you guys so much for watching what
Oh and she wants me she she wants my boobs I’m straight as well thank you guys so much for watching this is good okay dude I wanted to faint oh my God there’s an issue there that’s who performed dude I was you could have went into total detail I literally wanted to faint
I said before we started I want you to talk as long as till I can faint I don’t want you to Fan game we would play with our friends I’m not hungry at mac and cheese at the bar but play that fun game with a friend yes in
The car want that one time wait what are you you hold your breath and you let yourself all over no when we were that was like uh we would see if we could hold our breath with a gateway drug I know dude that was like I hope kids
Aren’t doing it still but one we would hold our breath so long and see if we could pass out that’s what I was just trying to do and you didn’t really let me see it through well I thought we were best friends that’s why I didn’t let you see it through honey
So let’s go make a movie seriously you’re gonna be mad at me because I won’t let you fade I’m pretty upset I want to put you off the bed so bad don’t because I’ll hit my head I swear I already saw it happen in my eyes okay well that’s crazy you’re
Thinking about such horrible things about your best friend no I’m preventing you from a loss of me okay I’m gonna go to Chicago you’re not fainting okay all right so we won’t faint okay okay bye guys final something more it looks good on you women should smile more okay all right bye guys
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