Hey guys welcome back to the channel welcome back to the video it is deja and i’m back with another video honey what’s good what’s popping you guys we need a name we need a name i need a name for y’all do y’all watch elia’s face because she calls her subscribers
Hoochies and i think that is just so cute she was like we have a hoochie sponsor today and i’m like come on girl cuz i’m a hoochie oh but no for real y’all so today we are going to be talking about relationships and greek life okay can you be in a relationship
And join a greek organization will a greek organization mess up your relationship um can you be in another organization and the person that you’re in another organization you know i’m like can you do certain stuff like that and like when i say that i mean for same-sex relationships i guess because
It shouldn’t matter if you’re a guy and a girl and obviously you’re going to be in a fraternity you’re going to be in a sorority whatever the case may be but same-sex relationships i feel like that’ll be a great um topic to talk about as well so we’re
Going to talk about it all in one um so if you’re not new here make sure you like comment uh if you’re not new here make sure you like comment subscribe was i trying to say that no i was not if you are new here make sure you like comment subscribe
If you’re not new here and you’re not already subscribed make sure you subscribe to your girl’s channel because we about to be a tim kizzy tinkizzy in a mini it in a minute so yes um and if you already if you are already subscribe make sure you like the video
Because the more likes we get on videos the more new people come to our channel okay so that’s that that’s everything to me it’s the likes for me it’s the loyalty from my subscribers for me um so yes you guys i need to stop playing with y’all but yes please make sure you
Like comment and subscribe because we we going up we going up so you guys we’re going to talk about relationships being in greek life or greek organizations so when i was pledging my relationship i don’t feel like it was tested i feel like he definitely didn’t understand that
You know i had to be out late at night you know what i’m saying and he didn’t understand because he didn’t pledge so i’m coming from a point where my boyfriend he’s not in an organization he is a gdi essentially a goddamn individual that’s what the gdi
Is if you don’t know the term but basically he was he was his own person i’m my own person but i’m also in an organization so don’t get it twisted but he didn’t you know he does he didn’t see the need to join greek life you know what i’m saying like
He he was going to school at wiu and he just did not feel the need to join you know what i’m saying and then he end up transferring um so that was that but i think when i was online i was so nervous because i couldn’t tell him as
Much of the stuff that was going on because of discretion so i didn’t know who i could tell you know what i’m saying because i’m just like yeah my boyfriend is on a whole other campus like he don’t know nobody on my campus he don’t know nobody he don’t
Know the aka is on his campus so he’s not gonna say anything um but at the time i didn’t know and i couldn’t i couldn’t tell him because he wouldn’t get it and then when i finally got around to telling him he just didn’t believe it and we had already had trust issues
Anyways right so it was complicated in its own sense but we definitely worked through it now was it hard times where i’m like i simply just can’t talk because i’m upset all night or i’m you know doing this or i’m studying or i’m whatever the case may be
Whatever the case may be he didn’t understand it because he was coming from a point of i’m not pledging i’m not interested in pledging i’m not interested in organizations i just want to talk to my girlfriend where where where are you at what are you doing um
And it was definitely rocky at times because obviously you know you want your the people that you love the most to be the closest to you during a rough time and when i was pledging i was going through so much emotionally um that it was just hard to even talk to him
Because i had so much [ __ ] going on and i felt like i can’t even tell about it because of discretion so it was very complicated for me but it worked out because we end up working through it right now for people who are you know like
Uh i want to say like if you have a person that just doesn’t get it at all like giving you ultimatum like no you don’t need to pledge blah blah blah like then that’s obviously somebody that you don’t need to be with but at the same time i always tell like especially my
My young girls who reach out to me about how like um actually just the other day i had i have a young lady who reached out to me on her insta on my instagram which she should not be on instagram but i don’t know they process like that she
Joined the organization that’s not my organization and excuse me she basically was telling me like you know she’s online right now her boyfriend doesn’t get it blah blah blah all this other stuff and he’s giving her ultimatums basically saying like you need to choose me over this organization like i want to
Talk to you all this other [ __ ] and it’s just like you can’t like obviously just not just no and if your boyfriend know or your girlfriend know how much this organization mean to you um then they wouldn’t try to come between you and something that could further you professionally personally whatever the
Case may be because obviously when you join these organizations you’re joining to be reborn in a sense and be a better you um it sounds it sounds very cold like but i promise it’s not a coat but yeah so i feel like in those situations have a conversation before like i have a
Mentee she’s um she’s you know whatever and she was telling me about her boyfriend and how she’s not gonna be able to really be around him that much or see him for his birthday or spring break or whatever the case may be and you know it sucks like but you guys
Should already know like spring lines you don’t have a spring break i mean i didn’t have a spring break you know so you’re not gonna hang on spring break so for you to think like oh i’m just gonna pledge and have a spring break and post about it like girl no
Boy no if i mean i don’t know how other chapters and other um organizations pledge and i don’t really care to know but um it’s just not possible you know i’m saying because like the whole point of joining an organization is supposed to be removing yourself from everything where nobody knows where you
Are nobody knows what’s going on you just moving in silence in your solid color like you know what i’m saying so people don’t understand that and if you really want something as bad as a lot of most people want these organizations and to be in these organizations to have
This sisterhood and this brotherhood that you would go about it the right way so that you can get the full experience you know i’m saying you will seek all the knowledge that you can so you can get the full experience and when people try to sugarcoat or like
Skate through or you know do simple stuff to you know make it a little easier you don’t get the full experience you know i’m saying like um i don’t feel like this is something personal but taking shortcuts um and that means taking shortcuts in any way i remember specifically and this is
Probably this um i don’t think i don’t think it’s bad to share but in my organization something that my pro fights taught me was don’t take shortcuts so that means shortcuts to the simplest of walking in the grass when you need to walk you need to walk in the concrete you
Know what i’m saying like walk all the way around don’t take no shortcuts to you know what i’m saying like the experience of just knowing everything the spirit the experience of humbling yourself and being humble is a very fulfilling experience at least for me and this is coming from somebody who was
Very prideful very i i type [ __ ] um learning what deference is and really understanding how to humble yourself and learning that i don’t need to have a response to everything you know what i’m saying and i feel like i’m still learning that now you know what i’m saying but i definitely learned
It a lot when i was pledging because of the simple fact that i didn’t know it i was so like it’s all about me you know i was definitely that type of girl um and to be humbled in a way that it’s not you know not bringing me down humble
But bringing me to understanding that this realistically it’s not always about me you know i’m saying realistically um i don’t always have to respond to everything realistically i don’t always have to defend myself um because that’s what i learned a lot like i learned because i felt the need to
Always offend myself to always have a comeback to always you know be you know a quick you know response or well i feel like it doesn’t feel take your feelings out of it okay because at the end of the day when you’re pledging it’s not about you
It’s it’s about the whole unit you know what i’m saying so um if your relationship or your partner doesn’t understand that then you need to get a new partner or you need to communicate with them in a way that where you’re not giving away a whole bunch of information about what
You’re doing in your process because obviously if they wanted to know the process they should have did it simple right but um understanding that like everything is not going to be a walk in the park you know and if you’re in a good relationship your relationship should never be tested
But i do want to say when you do join these organizations don’t act different towards your partner i feel like i definitely i don’t feel like i changed but when i asked like when when i was going through the process and i asked my boyfriend during that time like after
After i crossed i was like do you feel like i changed and he was like yeah i feel like you changed you know i’m saying like i feel like you changed a little bit but obviously you’re gonna change regardless because you’re going through a process and the goal of going through a process
And when i say process i don’t mean hazing or anything like that so let’s just clear that up and i’m not speaking for any specific organization i’m just talking in general so let’s clear that up as well when you’re going through something you’re you’re bound to change you know what i’m saying
Um especially if you go through it the right way and i don’t mean paper made but simple lessons that you can learn just simply by you know you know by just asking questions by talking to people by talking to your profiles learning from them um you’re gonna change regardless but you
Don’t need to act like you’re better than somebody because you’re in an organization and they’re not um a lot of people that come out on the out of out of uh their their pledging process um they feel a little um to them um and sometimes that gets to
Our heads that’s why we call it a neo stage and a neo stage is not all about just wearing your parry 24 8 um but it’s also about the way you speak to people the way you carry yourself um and i feel like a lot of girls who
Speaking from my um my experience a lot of girls who pledge my organization feel better twice is better once they get those letters but when you didn’t have those letters you were a nobody you know what i’m saying but you feel like now you’re somebody because you have these letters
And you feel like with these letters you can treat people wrong you can talk to people differently you can treat the people that have been with you but when you didn’t have these letters differently that’s should never happen you know what i’m saying and you shouldn’t
Get so cocky to the point where you may [ __ ] around and lose somebody that truly loves you because you feel like you better than with these letters you know what i’m saying as far as same-sex relationships the video that i posted about the guy um wanting his boyfriend to be a kappa he
Wanted to be a stigma same-sex relationships i feel like regardless of whatever fraternity or sorority that you’re in if you’re in a same-sex relationship your partner should be okay if you don’t want to join their organization if they’re already in it you get what i’m saying um so it definitely should be a
Conversation head should definitely be communication going throughout the entire process you don’t have to tell anybody what you’re going through if you don’t want to you don’t have to um but be mindful that like if your boyfriend is or your girlfriend is a part of uh fraternity or sorority or
Whatever the case may be and you’re joining something completely different or so say it’s like same-sex relationships if you’re joining a different organization than your partner or different sex or your heterosexual relationships um if your boyfriend is an alpha and you’re going out to be a zeta you don’t
Need to tell your alpha boyfriend what your zeta process is like you get what i’m saying because that’s none of his business because i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t tell you his process you know what i’m saying so something like that like but communicate and let them know like hey
It’s gonna be a long night so um if i don’t talk to you i will text you i love you whatever the case may be um but you also have a common understanding and you shouldn’t go into anything blind you should be able to you shouldn’t go into anything and not
Let your partner go no like when i was going through my process i immediately let my boyfriend i was like look um uh i’m about to i don’t know what they got us doing but look i’m not i’m not gonna be able to talk at the moment you know what i’m
Saying like communicate so that way they don’t feel like you just you just left them in a blue or you left them in the dark about something you know i’m saying so i don’t feel like relationships are tested while you’re pledging because your relationship and your organization is not on the same
Level you know i’m saying like i you know it’s just like with god in your relationship i mean god in um your organization like i’m not about to praise ethel like i say in all my videos like people say oh i can’t wait till you find god like
Baby girl i found him and i have him you know what i’m saying he know for a fact that i’m afraid of him i’m not praying to ethel god rest her soul but y’all know you know what i’m saying like two different spectrums you know i’m saying two different categories
Just like your relationship and your organization two different it’s too different so i don’t understand why it’s being compared but if your relationship is being challenged or whatever the case may be because of your organization or because of your pledging process or you being interested then obviously something got to go or
Y’all need to talk you know what i’m saying simple as that but a lot of people don’t understand that and it’s okay because i’m gonna get y’all together real fast um but yeah i hope you guys enjoyed the video let me know what you guys think
Let me know if you guys feel like oh well you know um i feel like my relationship you know let me know what you guys think i want to talk to you guys about it i want to get to know you guys opinions um so yeah leave your comments down
Below don’t forget to like comment subscribe and i will see you guys in my next video bye guys
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