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You are at:Home » Corporate Cowboys Podcast – 6.22 Reddit: How Do I Stop Looking Back At An Old Job With Fondness?…
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Corporate Cowboys Podcast – 6.22 Reddit: How Do I Stop Looking Back At An Old Job With Fondness?…

adminBy adminOctober 19, 2023No Comments23 Mins Read
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Foreign welcome back to another episode of the corporate Cowboys podcast I’m your host Alex and today’s proof of life is that it’s Monday December 19 2022. today’s episode is uh somewhat touching I suppose and this question comes from r slash career advice it’s asking it’s a question so we’ll read it over

Whatever contacts they’ve included in the body itself and see if we can’t provide a free consultation of sorts I usually try to keep these to around 30 minutes and I may or may not read some comments that have been included so they’re asking here how to stop looking at an old job with

Rose Colored Glasses quote unquote I’m leaving without anything else lined up and even though I’m prepared I’m starting to panic and regret I guess when you look at an old job with rose-colored glasses it may be reason being might be that um it was a job that was dead end I guess

That wasn’t providing adequate opportunities for development or advancement you just didn’t see yourself going anywhere long term with it the rose-colored portion of it might be wool you might have been more of a novice less experienced it might have been your first job and it being your

First job there was a lot of uh emotion to confront good in a sense that well it’s your first position in which you’re making money and you’re being compensated for you know your your effort and your contribution in terms of time and energy and you’re making money from it so

You might believe that to be a Nets positive over all of the accompanying negatives that might have come with it maybe the co-workers were [ __ ] maybe the manager was [ __ ] [ __ ] not yeah I’m gonna say if it’s hard to just just mentally um and psychologically

Not apt for the position to be a manager right maybe they’re just an [ __ ] boss you don’t know but then looking back on this experience with rose covered glasses as in you never wanted to leave it or it was always a good point in your life when you might have been actually struggling

At that point in your life I guess it’s just being stubborn being uh reluctant to view that experience any differently than it having been a good one there’s nothing wrong with that I think just off top my personal opinion is that there isn’t anything wrong with having with viewing

Past experiences always in a net positive light but but if this nostalgia takes too much of your time takes too much of your future energy really diverts a significant amount of your life force into you not progressing not getting ahead it could be that in itself could be a

Net negative regardless of how you feel about the job what those feelings are doing to you now could be holding you back and you’ve got to learn to let go it was just an experience and like everything in life it too shall pass so you won’t be around forever and it

Won’t be around forever anyways let’s get to the body of this it’s saying that uh it includes a note I guess most important parts are bolded but would appreciate a full read to understand my situation fully all right so they say technically not an old job yet but I’ve got only seven days

Of work left until the end of my two weeks so they’ve they’ve put in their two weeks apparently and they’ve already worked one of those weeks they’ve got one week left they said I originally I originally loved this job when I got it four years

Ago but so much has changed about it and especially in the last few months it’s become a job I hated it’s become a job I hated well those are two different tenses mixed up into one sentence but I guess they’ve already got one foot out the door right so it doesn’t really [ __ ]

Matter all right they continue toxic environments daily over time barely time to even eat lunch and never have time to take the other two breaks more workload being piled on the moment it starts to ease up despite that we can’t get it done in our scheduled time my bosses

Have unrealistic expectations due to not realizing other people are cutting corners and having a problem with me taking longer since I refuse to so they refused they claim to refuse cutting corners and so the boss maintains unrealistic expectations because everyone else cutting Corners uh appears to be more productive

Appears to be more productive I think with just those two with just those two um up to now up to that paragraph I think the situation there taking the daily overtime I don’t see nothing wrong with the toxic environment I can’t really speak on when a lot of

Folks claim toxicity really I think it’s just a lack of communication and a lack of professionalism it might not even be on on the part of uh on behalf of the employee it could be the manager who’s lacking in some Department uh but the barely time to even eat lunch

Or time to take some breaks uh legally you ought to be taking those and and just obviously like fundamentally you should be taking breaks and eating also um anytime a little bit of time a small window of time away from uh hard labor or just any type of Labor

In particular allows the brain I’m gonna say a moment a moment to um recapacitate and and really take a breather itself and approach approach a task in a different State of Mind from a different angle if you will um I’m not saying that uh if you don’t take breaks you’re worse off

But I believe taking breaks are necessary are necessary to developments are necessary to take a step back and evaluate um and you can drop in the comments whether you think taking breaks is for [ __ ] or whatever but I mean I’ve had to work 12-hour days longer hour days

Um in the past and I can attest that even when I’ve taken breaks at least take some time if you’re not taking breaks at least take time to eat take time to eat and take time to uh I suppose you are taking a break while

You eat don’t eat don’t eat on the job again that’s that’s factual that’s fact dependent depending on where you work so they say they continue here they uh also got in trouble at work for crying privately on my lunch break because I was in pain due to an arm issue my boss

Found out it’s because a co-worker came looking for me and we usually ate lunch together so what the co-worker what does it say to the co-workers snitched but they got in trouble for crying on their lunch I don’t know that doesn’t make sense so it sounds like an [ __ ] move I guess

On the you know on behalf of the boss it sounds like an [ __ ] move sometimes I will try to side I will try to be the Devil’s Advocate and see it from both sides but in this case yeah if the boss is writing you up for crying on

Your own time it’s legally and literally your own time that’s just a dick boss uh and then they continue due to the Daily overtime my personal life and health has taken a hit I don’t eat right sleep enough drink enough water so busy they say here in parentheses so busy I

Forget while I’m on the clock I can’t remember the last time I exercised which is unlike me oh hold on hold on if they can’t remember the last time they exercised how can it be unlike you do you remember a time when you exercised regularly they can’t remember the last time they

Exercised come on don’t I mean that’s it’s a contradictory statement but I’m assuming they just typed this one on their phone maybe they’re using it on their computer I don’t use this on my computer it’s coming straight out the phone I get home I lay down and I do nothing

Because I have no energy they write I wake up I get dressed for work I lay down again until it’s time to go because I know the day will be hell with little chance to rest fam look for another job I am leaving this job for no reason but

I’m finding myself regretting things and wondering if I’ve made a mistake if I’ve made a mistake in leaving logically I know that’s not the case but I don’t know how to stop thinking like that I’ve been planning to leave for the past two to three months I have insurance

Straight for the new year I have 11 months of pay put away everything is budgeted so I can stretch one month’s worth of pay to last two months I left without another job lined up because I need a break physically and mentally I can’t just jump into a new

Job but now that my final day is approaching I’m panicking and wondering if I’ve made a mistake being unemployed is scary even though I could survive over a year with how I’ve budgeted I’m only planning to take a month off before job hunting so I should be fine but I’m terrified and unsure

I’ve made the right call you know what’s going on here you have what’s called helpless dog syndrome look it up I’m not [ __ ] with you it’s a sociological term and as your boy here is an undergrad has a degree in social science I know a thing or two about

Research and academic papers and journals there is a study out there called the Learned learned helplessness syndrome right and I did this um study on dogs on caged dogs right essentially one of the dogs was I believe if I’m remembering this right some dogs were put into an environment where they were

The clinical term is administered electrical shocks right so they’re effectively tased and in the scenario they start with dogs that are given an Escape Route or given away uh to prevent them from getting shocked right and of course the exercise uh allowed the dogs to control whether or not they experienced these shocks

Now as the experiment progressed they closed off Escape Routes they did not allow the dogs to uh to gain any control or have any control over whether or not they would be administered shocks and so they were just shocked without any um any anything they could do about it

Now they found that when these dogs were shocked and they could not control they could not exercise any options for preventing or mitigating these shocks they they just laid down and took it they laid down whimpering crying yelping and they they [ __ ] took it right over time they learned they learned that

When they could not control the outcome they laid down and took it now the interesting part is that when they moved these dogs that had learned to lay down and take it when they moved these dogs into a new setting where there were Escape Routes there were new Escape Routes and there were

New options that they could exercise to prevent and mitigate these shocks from happening these dogs upon being shocked again laid down and took it so they’ve learned to be helpless it’s learned helplessness now what to say about uh about humans right is that over time you learn from your environment

There’s nature there’s nurture and now within that nature you have moving parts that I guess resemble nurture even if it is a net negative this nurturing will instill a sense of learned helplessness it’s like the abused spouse syndrome you you wonder whether or not you’re doing the right thing by leaving

You wonder whether or not you’re making a mistake now from what it sounds like you’ve got most everything most everything’s set so you can go without working for a good period of time I would rely on that I would depend on that rely on yourself believe in yourself you have funds

You have a budget rely on yourself I mean that’s truly how you’ll know if you can spread your wings and take off but don’t look back if you already know and you’re committed to leaving don’t second guess yourself now you’ve already given your two weeks do not take back your notice that’s necessarily

Going back on your word I guess if we’re being really fundamental about it as a professional you would be going back on your word unless something in your life absolutely materially changed your circumstances like let’s say you were married let’s say your spouse dies right and you were a two income

Household and now you can’t leave now you can leave because you know who has to pick up the slack who’s got to pick up the slack right that might make some sense I would more readily accept you rescinding your notice in such a case then you just second guessing a decision to leave

For greener pastures to leave for better opportunity at development something that Suits You something that is more appropriate for your professional development which sounds like your current position is not so as far as you second guessing whether or not you should be leaving don’t I wouldn’t

Um if I had this client in front of me what what else I would want to know really is what their next step is going to be I know they claim they can’t devote any energy to looking for a job now and I’m not saying they should be

But in that time they expect to be a month at least a month away from work not doing anything before they start looking for a job in that month what they should be doing is reevaluating their life re-evaluating their track their uh their career path reevaluating their skills what skill sets they possess

Which ones they could develop how long it would take what industries would hire them how marketable they are that sort of thing and these are just very preliminary questions they don’t require you putting together application packets to send to companies I mean at least not yet not just yet

But you definitely want to find how your current interests will influence your future decisions let’s take a look at some of these comments that says the first comment really says you’re not making a mistake well I mean that’s obvious they’re not making a mistake and they say those conditions aren’t normal

Or healthy they’re talking about the uh not too much overtime and the toxic the quote-unquote toxic work environment anyways they said that being said we’re going into a recession and not having a job lined up is taking on a lot of unnecessary risk I’ve done that before but I was in my

20s and could have just moved in with my parents if it really went South I would start job hunting now and just tell your new potential employer your potential new employer you need a little time before your start date that makes sense too

Uh in my youth I did the same thing if I went too long without employment crash at my parents and then do it moving right but the whole time most the whole time I was employed and at least going to school if I’m going to be staying with my parents

At least do them the courtesy of becoming educated not sitting around the house at least put [ __ ] crack a book and network a little bit the next commenter here says in the next seven days create some goals you want to accomplish in the next month okay that’s exactly

What I said but this person is saying you know make those into goals make those into actual goals uh they they write here those types of issues don’t go away by doing nothing you have to create a plan to better yourself which is essentially what yeah that’s

What I what I opinionated I know this because I did the same thing before I quit a toxic job without anything lined up to take a few months off and it became much longer there isn’t anything magical that happens when you do nothing yes it was nice to be lazy for the first

Time in my life and feel a sense of freedom but that eventually wears off and the same old emotions come back if you don’t have a plan for greater good start with plans to eat better sleep better hydrate yourself and do almost and also do something to push yourself

Like learn and learn a new language or a skill or get a certification I would also set a hard date of when you should start focusing on job applications pretty I’m not going to say word for word but thought for thought and move for move that person sounds like a corporate cowboy

Now I can resonate right I can I can feel I can relate to uh our op who is leaving a place that had no opportunities just just a Barren just a uh a a a desolate Wasteland of a of a career position right so they’re taking

And it’s not even so much an L right but they’re taking an intermission from working having planned and already budgeted beforehand and they’re taking an intermission from working not even on Hiatus not even a sabbatical because they’re not planning on being away that long but the fact that they’re starting

With a solid month of no work to me does open doors to developing bad habits if you don’t go into your um your your own period of recuperation with a plan you ought to go into it with a plan so that whatever habits you do happen to develop are habits that help

You grow our habits that make you better if those habits are cracking a book and augmenting your social skills your professional skills I recommend you do that um geez that was a really good comment that really was this next comment here says it’s a risk but some risks are worth it you have

Money saved up so you can probably swing a couple months without a job and use this time to rest relax recharge then go full focus on getting another job yeah that’s really straightforward I mean I would have been I mean I was a little more detailed but that’s only because I’m approaching

This question from a career consultant points of view let me see if you have any questions like this I think this was a really great I’m going to call it a prompt a really great fact pattern in the sense that we’re given a lot of good context

Um some pros and some cons that we can give our opinion as to both of them and if you were in a position where you think you might need some consultation we’re here for a 101. you can DM us on Instagram that’s at corporate Cowboys

With a z at the end on the patreon page you can sign up you can register for one of the tiers there that allow for questions and answering and your question I think will ask if you would like it to be a prompt if you will uh

Let us use it as a prompt for an episode here on the corporate Cowboys podcast and if not then it’s private between you and between us as your Consultants if you want to shoot us a donation I don’t know one five five million dollars uh by all means do that there’s some

Links that are floating around for a PayPal cash app a venmo and um uh snail mail obviously is encouraged and greatly appreciated it’s welcomed you can send it uh what my first class or something I don’t know if you want to make it that official but it’s P.O box

Three three seven two Rancho Cordova California 95741 now let’s um yeah if you were a friend an associate find yourselves in need of some corporate work a corporate opinion a corporate perspective that’s what we’re here for at your service the next comment here says read back everything you wrote read it several

Times if necessary your job is bad for you in so many ways you’ve done the right thing taking care of yourself when you walk out on that last day the feeling of relief will be enormous and you’ll know it’s the right thing for you yeah I think this is pretty much

Positive reinforcement uh I think having them go back and read everything they wrote reading it several times if necessary doesn’t really drive the points home if anything don’t even go back and read what you wrote what you wrote just a bunch of um it’s it’s a a bunch of fence sitting

You’re sitting on the fence after having committed to jumping over it so don’t do that just finish just follow through with the motions walk out you know jump over the fence and um prepare yourself for what’s on the other side you see I’m not even guaranteeing it’s going to be greener

Pastures somebody is saying in here that uh recession that’s on his way A recession is on its way and that could impact whether or not they get employment and that it might be a lot of unnecessary risk they’re taking on in this day and age who knows who knows if

It goes up down left right sideways or [ __ ] loop-de-loop right Wolf of Wall Street laughs one more comment one more comment here uh two more maybe two more it says here I don’t think I’ve ever done that left the job without a new one maybe you

Could go to school over the next year and then get a better one you see that’s a good approach to uh educating oneself to to retooling and retraining if necessary but like I said beforehand even going to school requires a plan you want to find what your interests are

Your current interests are in order that they can inform your future decision that includes academic that includes academic I feel like um a lot of folks I mean and this doesn’t just relate to careers in corporate but a lot of folks even high schoolers that are coming out of school

Out of public education aren’t really given a plan aren’t really taught how to plan right so like they leave public education educated in the sense that they can follow Direction and that they can be entry-level an entry-level employee you know just knowing how to read having basic literacy and arithmetic but

Public school doesn’t teach us how to be self-aware how to be tactically aware right how to negotiate risk how to uh navigate life challenges in that sense foreign especially with education because these are young and impressionable individuals then relying on figures of authority and if these figures of authority are

Pushing on them the idea that going to a four-year Institution is the next logical step then it necessarily short circuits the students logic pattern and supplants it with that of the institution that’s the definition of institutionalization is it not and institutionalization can also it is also present in corporate to an

Extent this is the corporate world and it’s learned right it may not always be learned helplessness but it’s learned behavior one more comment here one more comment it says I think I think it really depends on where you are in life and a career it is challenging to find

Employment when not currently employed but not impossible of course your mental health is important nonetheless and you need to make sure when you are on the employment break you have a structured daily routine it is so easy to really not do much and stay in a rut I know it was for me

I suggest exercising getting out of the house reading for pleasure and very important reach out to one potential new employer every day that’s yeah it’s the equivalent of baby steps but consistency what this individual is writing on is consistency being consistent don’t being consistently active will call it

Going to be consistent you know resting or consistently passive or just sluggish just lethargic sloth every day nah you could be consistently working towards developing yourself retooling yourself like I said retraining planning and plotting on your next move until it is time to move now this person went

Ahead and said to reach out to one new employer one potential new employer every day but I guess if we’re taking that first month to to look within yourself and what you want out of life professionally then I think at the beginning of your second month you could

Incorporate everything you have done in the month prior and add add that one additional step that one building block every day taking one step in the right direction to apply to one potential new employer every day and at the end of the second month you will have at least 30

Applications under your belt and from there it’s necessarily we could call it a numbers game but it doesn’t have to be if you know how to do it right which again if you need that that’s another episode that’s another episode if you need help with any of

That you can reach out to us we’d be more than happy to sit down with you uh over a call or correspond with you write to you back and forth and interact our rates are very reasonable especially for today’s uh corporate War you could call it everybody’s out for themselves but ultimately

Quote unquote we’re in this together moving up becoming better doing better it’s for the sake of business have yourselves a great week we’ll catch you next time

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