I felt like all the young ladies that I spent all this money on I bought purses I bought this on they left me hanging all the brothers that I was trying to impress to be cool with to be a part of organization or even just to be friends
With they they left me hanging and I thought my parents had abandoned me because it was like hey my father said since you think you’re a grown man go be that grown man and to this day I’m grateful for that season I just wish I could have went back and operated
Differently in that season what’s up everybody it’s your girl Brandy Harvey I’m so excited that you have decided to join us for today today’s conversation you are Vault empowers talks and we do not just scratch the surface we delve deep into the lives of the world’s most influential people entrepreneurs thought
Thinkers and teachers all right and today is like no other I have Anthony O’Neal here number one best-selling author course creator speaker educator host of the table with AO and founder of the neatness Network the man got a Network y’all he is real he is relevant
And he is relatable for such a time as this Vault empowers talks welcome Mr Anthony O’Neal I mean can we just run that intro back one more time I mean I’ve never had an intro like that before that’s a good thing I know thanks
I am so excited you know I can go ahead and put that down cuz I just know that I’m not going to need these notes we didn’t had a whole interview and interview plus we’ve been talking better hour we did we just been letting it flow
So this is a good thing it’s been good so I’m excited I am too yeah now the questions I’m a little nervous about you are not nervous but you say you have never been asked some of these questions never in my life yeah and you know I
Know a lot of people do not give their questions beforehand because they want you to kind of be on the fly but because we go deeper you know I want you to have a framework of how we are going to going to navigate this journey we about to go
On it’s a journey and the ending is dope that’s all I’m going to say so stay to the end we stay to the end do you hear that the man is giving you a directive go ahead and hit the Subscribe button right now okay you already got a
Directive okay so I’m excited you grew up you know coic kid you a church kid Church all day every day you were talking about you know these kind of foundational principles that kind of shaped your life with church yes like what was it like man you know for me
Growing up I grew up in a very strong Christian Faith home right so one side is heavy coic the other side is missionary baptist oh Chad you was just all over I got a headache from it you was baptized all day you know and so my mom and other father and siblings live
In San Diego California and we grew up Missionary Baptist right and then my biological father and other mother live in the Carolinas and we they grew up uh we grew up on that side coic and Pentecostal oh wow and so there was no football games you know there was no
Dating there was no going out having a good time it was go to school I mean even down to the point Brandy I I have on Chelsea now but I had to wear what they call Church schools back in the ‘ 80s to school okay so I couldn’t wear
Tennis shoes it was it was note you got to look like a man of God everywhere you go and the man of God had on church shoes church shoes with sometimes looking like Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel lir with the shirt on and the sweater wrapped around my neck oh that
Was how you dressed oh absolutely okay it was you got to be presentable at all times and represent the Kingdom at all times now I have some tenis shoes and some days they’ll let it slide but for the most part you know they were very
Very strategic on how I looked and how I represented not just God but even our church at the same time and so I grew up in a very strong never never kissed a young lady then um I remember trying to give a young lady a gift and her father
Gave it back to my dad you were in high school I was in high school oh wow um and there there really was no youthfulness I was an armor Bearer in church I know people know what armor Bearer is yeah tell the audience so the
Armor Bearer is think of a a guy who just carries the Bible carries the water and prays for the pastor before he preaches so thing is that today what we call it security or their uh executive assistant exective assist right and so you know I I I was that guy at 15 years
Old carrying the water carrying the Bible praying over the pastor if he needed anything make sure he got to his car da did all that stuff so the my entire youth life was around older people it never was around the younger people I only went to school with them
Outside of that I was around 4050 60 year olds my entire life wow so you really you do have a very old soul and I think that plays into like you being groomed for leadership and now even what you do as an entrepreneur absolutely I
Do I wish I didn’t have it at that young of an age though really yeah yeah because I knew how to have church I didn’t know how to live life I didn’t know how to how to approach a woman I didn’t know uh what for an example what
Credit was what what interest was um I never had the conversation about sex you know and so when I graduated high school it was let me leave this all behind because God is boring to me God is whack to me let me go just be young in
Youthfulness I’m out of my own I’m about to go enjoy this world and literally I remember the very first day of college I I I remember getting out of the car stepping onto uh the college campus and I said I’m about to B out you you made Lally said that I’m
About to have a blast where did you go to school and so uh at first went to Pal College okay and when I went when I went there I was like okay let me see in pmar college is a community college and I I promise you it was I never finished
School uh because let’s just say I made a lot of bad decisions uh God was not uh a part of my life at that time I still believed in him but I didn’t really I didn’t want to rock with him put it like that you didn’t want to rock with Gody
You were 19 $35,000 in debt you were living in your car in the Walmart parking lot two miles from your parents house par absolutely not even is it two miles from there yeah yeah right off a Highway 76 in Oceanside California so yeah about a mile two miles Brandon
That’s good you did your research um yeah so and that came from because while I was in school um I was like you know what I’m a w out I’m going enjoy it and so you know everyone is joining these fraternities and sororities and uh you know I only think
There’s only one great one out there um I never crossed but if I would have crossed um it would have been Kappa Alphas side really AB you know what I wouldn’t have gotten Kappa vibes from you you would have thought Omega no I would have thought you damn why you got
To say no like that though your Expressions omegas have a totally different like it just be on something like you know it’s a different type of vibe I would have thought that you would have pled Alpha you a lot of people thought that give me Al a lot of people
Thought alpha or Kappa but I grew up in high school my dad did let me join a step team and I Only Could Step at competitions that wasn’t on Friday or Sundays so you step for church no who you step for my high school okay I
Thought you were sing for Jesus great D I like this this going to be a good one I thought you going be a good one Jesus Hey listen man I steep for him now no no no I was on the step team for a high school uh my dad allowed me to do
That as long as again it didn’t contradict not contradict but conflict with us going to church so if our competitions was on Saturday I could do that all day long but I couldn’t do it if it’s on a Friday or on a Sunday or if
We had to travel and so growing up I always I was a cap of mascot I was I was a cap of young blood and uh just really sipping for the brothers oh wow and so when I went to school I got online and I did some some things that I wasn’t so
Proud of and unfortunately I had to drop out of school for making some bad decisions wow so you dropped out of 19 yep and so with those bad decisions you said that you know you began to have some Suicidal Thoughts when you were in that in that Walmart parking lot yeah
And and you know when I think about that I I have empathy for the people who are on the streets now yeah because if I if I if I if I keep it real yeah there were two times in my life to where I had to write on a brown
Board can I have some money for food wow growing up I always judged those individuals wow growing up I always thought they was just asking for money for for drugs for Wow whatever no I was sincerely hungry wow and Anthony O’Neal people do not know this no I mean what a
Journey that means you’ve had hard journey and the Suicidal Thoughts came from people looking at me and judging me when they didn’t even know I just made some bad mistakes I’m honestly I’m at the I’m I’m standing at the light there’s a gas station I remember the gas
Station mama and daddy put in the comments if y’all watch there’s a gas station off of Highway 76 right in front of Walmart ET turn right this in San Diego this is in San Diego California and I remember being there and I’m looking for my parents car to make sure
If I see them I run opposite oh my God because my mom and dad I lied to them and told them that I’m actually staying with my girlfriend at the time well my girlfriend and I actually have broken up because I never said this publicly um I
Did something so young and dumb to where I was actually dating her when she was involved with another man who was overseas he came back home and they shared a place so I couldn’t go there anthy so Mom and Daddy’s thinking I’m with her she’s thinking I’m back at home
And I’m on the streets oh my goodness I lied right I lied and so now I’m looking for people cars that I know that’s in my family so that if I see them I can run the opposite way but I remember people looking at me rolling up the window I’m
A black man with a cardboard on on the side of the street and I don’t look I don’t look crazy I mean I had on some decent clothes and I just remember um everyone driving past me and no one giving me any money no one I remember going to the
Oceanside a boys and girls club in the YMS during the week and having to take showers wow you know I remember those times and I remember sleeping in the back of the car and I’m like why am I here my mom and dad is sleeping in some
Real nice stuff they got a house they’re not rich they’re not wealthy but they got a roof over their head eating good food and I’m sitting in the back seat of the car and that was when I started blaming everyone else but me and that’s what L me to depression because I didn’t
Feel loved I felt like all the young ladies that I spent all this money on I bought purses I bought this on they left me hanging um all the brothers that I was trying to impress uh to be cool with to be a part of organization or even
Just to be friends with they they left me hanging and I thought my parents had a band at me because it was like hey my father said since you think you’re a grown man go be that grown man and I remember leaving the my bedroom window
Cuz I couldn’t make it to the front door it was that bad of an argument between me and my father there in California and I remember leaving that time but my father simply said hey go be a grown man and to this day I’m grateful for that
Season I just wish I could have went back and operated differently in that season oh of course you know because it’s it it it made me who I am today yeah did you carry a level of Shame Shame from being in the parking lot holding the sign was there a level of
Shame that you had I would say shame embarrassment less than um because that’s not my parents journey I didn’t see them struggle to that extent um and for me I was embarrassed because I internally I knew I was the problem but externally I didn’t want to own it so
What was the shift in the mindset that said it’s me and I got to fix where I am I tell you I was a the mall um and met a young lady and lied to her Jesus um and you know what it’s a lot of them getting lied to out here like this
Lied to to help somebody made her made her think I had all my my my pretty much I had my life in order um and so she invited me over to watch bad boys and I was like all right bet this was on a Saturday well Boys and Girls Club in
YMCA is closed can’t go go home so I got I got to I can’t go over there funky so I literally went to the side of Walmart filled up the bucket of water filled up the bucket with water and put Dawn dish detergent inside of it cuz you know back
Then when we washed our cars we used Dawn we didn’t really use you know the car wash stuff we just put Dawn in there and uh I took that to the back of my car and that’s how I started washing myself to go over the young lady’s house so I’m
Sitting in the back seat of the car and I have soap suds for my neck all the way down and that’s when the Holy Spirit really got a hold of me and I I you ever seen yourself in the mirror but then you saw something much more than what you
Actually see and that was me I’m like I am 19 years old I have dawned this detergent on my body right now to go impress a woman when I don’t even have my life in order and I literally broke down crying in the backseat of that car
Because I’m lying to everyone around me I’m blaming everyone around me and I’m not owning for my decisions and so I didn’t make it uh to that lady’s house cuz I remember staying in the backseat of that car and and I cried all night um and I went home and apologized to my
Father um in California and my mom and said Hey listen I made some bad mistakes I own it I’m sorry and I’m just ready to uh really become become a man because I realized if I’m going to change my future then I got to change who I am
Today absolutely and you know one of my good friends your good friend too Darius Daniels he said something a while ago that I’ve I’ve lived by and I always say it now I add my own little flare to it that the caliber of my future the caliber of my financial future will be
Determined by the financial choices that I made today and I remember saying you know what I I want to be wealthy yeah I don’t want to be rich like what I see on BET MTV at that time I want a level of Freedom that I don’t see a lot of black
People having and so I went home owned it lived with my parents for 6 months left and never looked back wow you had to have your prodical sun moment I did I did I did and you know what’s funny is I had my prodical sun moment but I didn’t
Go all the way back you know like I went back but I was still making some errors and some issues um while I was learning and growing and evolving I was 19 years old but at the same time it was like okay um let’s do it I mean I went back
And got three jobs wow three jobs bill collector washing cars delivering newspapers I didn’t have I didn’t have time friends um because all of my friends were fake you know all of them were living a life looking like we had something but when really in the back in
The back of it all we’re asking each other for $5 to go to McDonald’s get something to eat but we’re Driving Range Rovers Mercedes-Benz BMWs and I was like I don’t want that life anymore so I had to change it you had to change had to so
You then start excuse me getting your life together you start making these different changes what then LED you into the financial space the world of Dave Ramsey and that kind of shift in your Evolution you know I was studying and I was like okay what what is wealth like
What is what is wealth what is richness what what is that I was driving in La one day and I saw a Bentley and I was like man that’s nice and I remember going by the Bentley store to look at it and of course you know you you 19 20
Years old they ain’t paying you no m and I just want to see what what what it felt like and so I said you know what I want to know how can I get this so I started just studying people for years and for years had my jobs I was working
Um I started learning about Dave Ramsey and his approach to money I was reading Robert kosaki on his approach to money I was reading um other people on their approach to money and I was like okay I’m reading all these and I’m like hm use other people’s money
Or have yours and own it all and so I started playing with both the little bit and as I was growing and evolving I started realizing man I actually like owning what I have yeah I actually like saying you know what this is my car uh this is my my jury I I’m
Not financing nothing this is my jacket I didn’t I don’t I have to pay no interest on it but then when I was using other people’s money I felt the stress of dam I got to pay this thing B that I bought like 6 months ago and I was
Getting stressed and I’m not knocking people who do that but for Anthony O’Neal I was like wow I really like this so I took Financial Peace University and I was a youth pastor at the time from one of my good friends and my spiritual father Bishop Rudolph mcky JR out of
Jacksonville Florida he saw the amazing work I was doing in fville North Carolina with Youth and Young people there he was like hey come over here be a full-time youth pastor for us and he allowed me Wednesdays we didn’t really preach Wednesdays we taught practical life money skills to young people so we
Taught them how to date we taught them how to go out on a date on a budget uh we taught them how to open the door we we taught them about credit we taught them about uh student loans we taught them how to get into college without
Debt Sundays it was a full service spiritual but one thing reason why our ministry just blew up so well there is because I started teaching the tress of how to really build wealth yeah and then that’s when door started opening up from preaching for megga Fest doing stuff for
Eddie Long when he was alive doing stuff for Klo doar doing stuff for a lot of big names in the ministry and then long and behold man Dave Ramsey was looking for a youth personality on his team and his team reached out and said hey man we
Love what you’re doing in the areas of money and spiritualness once you come and work with us and it was it was amazing but I’ll be honest I wasn’t looking for Dave yeah you know I really wasn’t I thought that I was going to be a speaker
Or a preacher or a pastor for the rest of my life so what’s so interesting is is this is the 19-year-old who’s in the parking lot of Walmart running hiding with his cardboard signed so his parents don’t see him makes this apology to come back
Home I want to be a man I get it right who then who’s running away from God yep and goes all the way back to God and says I’m about to be a pastor I’m about to be run a youth ministry and be a youth personality in you know in the
Christian field and world but see I don’t really think have I ever said this before wow Brandon you better to get this I’ve never said this before this is the we need to I’ve never told I’ve never said this before I’ve never said this before it’s I’m thinking about
It I I didn’t go looking for to be a pastor the ones who are called really are never looking for I never cuz here’s why can I be real yeah your boy wasn’t a virgin so I knew I couldn’t be a pastor and having sex so I wasn’t looking for
It it’s a lot of life I’m be real exactly exactly you know I can’t live my life and serve God on the pool pit I wasn’t looking for it I was like you know what so what a lot of people don’t know is I started a nonprofit called
Young people succeeding and so I was selling cars and while I was selling cars I started as nonprofit well the pastor who raised me he had a big conference and he said hey I want the youth side of this conference MH since you’re already going into high schools
And teaching young people how to succeed that the right way the healthy way how about you come do this I was like okay I’m not a pastor I can I can put this thing together so I’m bringing in people like kanton Jones Kiera Shear uh coko
Brother when he was you know back in them days I mean I Ty triet I mean you name it we was bringing in the big names of feille North Carolina then all of the sudden it’s like yo bro can you come speak to this youth conference yo bro
Can you come do this hey man can you come do that and I’m like yeah yeah I’m I’m I’m answering the call and watch this I’m answering the call and I started learning and started seeing that my life started slowing down into other areas I didn’t say stop I I you speaking
My language I’m in it I’m in it I’m serious I’m like okay God is rising me over here and this is slowing down over here and next thing I know I didn’t go seeking for it um a pastor in fed North Carolina said hey how about you come be my youth
Director and that was for Amy Zion church and I was like a youth director you’ve been on the Monopoly board of denominations absolutely I mean I know it all and and I’m like what is a youth director he like well you come work for me fulltime and it’s your job to just
Focus on the youth and teach them what you’re doing and I was like okay and I didn’t know when I signed up for that with am Zion you got to go through four years oh wow of Education to be ordained and minister so saying I know if I’m
Going accept this job I got to be a minister and I’m like I’m now a pastor and I felt like I couldn’t run from it because I really enjoyed helping young people grow yeah but then I was scared because I’m like wait if I accept
This I can’t enjoy this I got to shift some stuff I do yeah and have I made the right decisions since I’ve been in Ministry no I haven’t I’ve definitely um fallen short but it was like I wouldn’t go back and not accept the ministry assignment over my life because that
Ministry assignment for my life it helped me probably more than it helped others because I was able to accept my calling and accept the anointing God has over my life and I feel as if if I would have ran from it I probably would have end ended up back on the
Streets because while selling cars I was making all this money and I’m sitting there trying to get out of debt but I’m selling cars and I’m in a strip Club M by selling cars I’m I’m I’m making all this money and I am I’m trying to
Impress the ladies and I think God knew there’s an assignment over your life yeah I need to pull you out of it while you have enough room to hear me and I’m so grateful for Bishop um m not mckiss Bishop um Ernest Jones out of fibo North
Carolina who saw the gift and said hey I want you to come over here and I want you to do this yeah and that was a start of me and my Ministry journey and it’s amazing because if rewi if we rewind all the way back to middle school I got
Expelled because of my mouth I would always talk back to teachers I will always say something I should not say um they try to put me on what do they call it adran they I don’t know how to say it um because they said I had ADHD my mom and
My mom and dad said no he doesn’t he just needs to learn how to shut up that’s it and so we’re going to teach him how to do that but my mouth always got me in trouble yeah and my mom said boy one day you’re going to be a
Preacher and you are going to help so many people but they I don’t really think they knew how to really guide me nurture that way right and I mean we were talking about this off camera and I and I express to you that that that too
Is a feeling that I had that I had this gift and calling very early but not really having parents who could nurture that gift because I think that they were just nurturing other parts of themselves and they didn’t have the capacity zero you know and and I think our parents at
That time were doing what they were taught absolutely you know absolutely I I don’t blame my parents for for anything it was and I’m going say this my mom’s going to get upset when I say this but I think all they knew how to do was pray that’s it yeah you know and
They taught us that very well exact so that part of our Lives is very strong I I I can pray yeah but I need to do some some other things in pray but it took yeah it took time to learn the other tools and that’s where
Therapy for me was was a game changer therapy for me was a game changer after my divorce but we I not divorce after my separation from my ex fiance but we can talk about that I was like wait a minute you was married no no no I separation
From the ex fian I don’t believe a title wait a minute wait a minute hold on I’m going fight for my marriage you you going to fight for the amican fiance we were separated a v child separate no no listen b it it was good though I mean but that’s one thing that
My parents taught me they taught me a lot about church I mean I I knew how I knew how to fake passing out Anthony I knew how to fake shout you was fake and passing out what was the nurses was coming or you was just over in the
Corner by yourself what was happening I mean if we just be real I mean I think we’ve all done it before you know you I mean if you grow up in that church you fake pass out and they think the spirit is say you out no you just on the floor
And you sleep oh my goodness I’m just being real because it’s like at at 12 or 13 I’m not saying the Holy Spirit never hit me but I I knew how to do church but I think what I would what I really needed was how do I have a relationship with God
Yes and then how do I how do I operate in life yeah you know cuz I couldn’t pass out at school they’ll think I’m crazy you know if I got if I if I was about to get into a fight with a young kid I didn’t know how to defend myself I
Just knew how to pray while I’m getting hit upside my head oo you know what I’m saying like there were practical things in life that that I didn’t know how to do and all I knew was the Bible yeah all I knew was I remember this I I knew the
Bible so well a guy I was uh 12 he hit me I turned the other cheek literally you was like literally because I was scared if I if I did anything back because it wasn’t aligned with the Bible I would get in trouble MH when I
Remember when I got home my other father in California he gave me permission to fight back yeah the next day the kid hit tried to fight me again his parents came to the house because I fought back so everything was biblical for me no one
Really spent the time to teach me how to really do life and that’s why I started young people succeeding that’s why I I really got into the youth ministry because I wanted to teach young people how to really succeed bet MTV at 18 through 21 taught me life oh absolutely
I mean who who didn’t learn the power of God’s mercy watching B uncut and Tip Drill come on I mean did you not learn God’s goodness and mercy when Nelly swiped a credit card he shows you the Bounty of God come on you know what I’m
Saying you watching BET uh uh what It MTV Cribs make over or MTV cars make over like okay wait when they came out with the brand new cars and they stopped the car and them wheels for spinning yeah I went and bought me some wheels on credit because I’m like okay that’s what
That’s what rich is you know when you stop and the wheel still spend and so um but I quickly realized after my lifechanging experience that that’s not wealth yeah you know and I don’t I don’t I don’t desire Fame I truly do desire wealth and if we can start teaching
Young people that now at 15 at 14 by the time they turn 20 21 man they’re going to be far ahead of the game far ahead of the game is interesting because there were times when you felt too black for the white people too white for the black
People and so how were you able to I’m sure in many settings it worked to your advantage yeah right yeah a lot of settings but absolutely but how did that kind of shift you or what was the mindset shift in just walking your own authenticity
And your own power you know it was it was it was an interesting experience you know I grew up in a predominantly black um Christian environment right and then I shift all the set into a predominantly 95 96% white world yeah when I had the great honor and a great privilege to
Work with um at Ramsey Solutions um Dave Ramsey as a personality on his team and that was a culture shock for me I can imagine you know to go from from black church to White world and it’s like wait they were doing some things there I was
Like wasn’t bad I’m like okay wait really this what we’re doing and so I would have to adapt a little bit now mind you they never asked me to adapt but when you go into a culture like that I mean come on it’s a natural like you
Feel as if you have to adapt like it is some we wear the mask it is some Duality that we all are are walking in facts right and so I’m like okay wait so I remember there were certain settings man that um I felt like I couldn’t be the
The authentic Anthony O’Neal then when I get back into the black settings because I’m attached to this particular person or this particular organization or my world I’m living in Nashville is predominantly white they’re like oh yeah you’re you’re a sellout you’re this you’re that I’ve been called everything
From U an Oreo on this side uh to even um respectfully saying this you know a [ __ ] now watch this when that happened da it wasn’t from Dave Ramsey and them but he jumped on back was like no that that was inappropriately they all attacked that particular individual at
That time um so wa you you get called that oh absolutely during some sort of I remember encounter in in person I was in Nash I was in Nashville Tennessee at one of the times coming back from I had just jumped out of a plane and at that time
Me and my uh you were skydiving skydiving yes and when we came back we literally um I was running a little on gas I pulled over to a gas station and at that time we get out out of the gas station I didn’t see it I would not have
Pulled in but my fiance saw it at the time uh but it was you know some Confederate flags there and I didn’t see it when I get out the car they literally was like what are you doing here and I looked and I looked ahead like is there another gas station and I
Literally jumped back in the car yeah and I was like hey we have an option we could fill it up don’t know what they’re going to do or we can try make it to the next gas station that’s when the power of prayer came back in that’s when
Everything my mom and daddy taught me we were praying in that car trying to get to the next gas station because we only had maybe about 12 miles and it had to be God because we drove about I want to say about 18 or 20 miles to the next gas
Station wow and so I have that and then when I come back around black people because my friend and and dear friend uh Dave is he is a very uh bold Republican um automatically I’m I’m associated with everything that he believes in yeah on the black side and I’m like well dang
Man can can I just be Anthony O’Neal can I can I not have Republican friends and Democrat friends can I not have Christian friends and Muslim friends and Catholic friends like like can I not be this and that brought depression to me I would remember being on stage in front
Of 20,000 30,000 people and and internally I’m battling who I am because I love Dave I love this organization and I want to please them I love my people I want to help them and give them all the information that I have but no one’s really accepting Anthony Bernard
O’Neal that’s when therapy came into play because right around that time I ended my engagement uh with with this amazing young lady and so I’m going through that I go through the the the separation um of her I’m being attacked by people uh saying you’re a sellout you’re not
This and mind you this organization never said I was too black but I felt like I couldn’t say certain things and so I’m feeling that internally I am depressed internally going into the office going on stages going around the family because I don’t feel like I could
Be me so what year is this like what age is this like I’m 32 I’m 39 now so I’m 32 31 to about 30 35 36 oh wow yeah wow and and I’m I’m fighting internally um because I lost the woman that I thought
I was going to spend the rest of my life with so you lost her what was that do you feel you’re doing did you play what part did you play in that um absolutely I’m definitely I’m not going to sit here and say that she played the majority
Part of it I think we both uh knew that it wasn’t going to work so she was um a lot older than me uh what’s a lot older than you uh 14 years so she was 14 years older than you and you knew from an age difference perspective this wasn’t going
To work or I wouldn’t say that I just think that she was at an age to where she didn’t desire at that time any more kids CU she already had two just just graduated from high school she didn’t want to be 65 70 years old you know with
Another kid graduating um and we just my therapist said something at that time which was so good he said Anthony you’re coming to a mountain that she’s coming off of M so it was like you she doesn’t want to go back and climb the same Mountain that she just climbed and she
Just got off of that’s good so so I felt like what he was pretty much saying is neither one of you are wrong you’re just in two different seasons of Life Seas of life you know and I just did the math she’s only 12 years older than me she’s
12 12 years old to me so I was like cuz I know she’ll probably watch this and like hey yo really cuz me and her are still good friends um and and so that was that was hard for me to leave that situation because our last conversation
During our um uh marriage counseling it was hard it was really hard because it was in Jacksonville Florida um and I just said hey yeah this is not going to work and she gave me about the ring and I did not see her honestly again until last year oh wow and I brought
Closure to it for her we had a we had a good convers and good understanding so you said in your previous relationship it it revealed some things about yourself oh yeah yeah that you had a lot of selfishness yeah did that relationship teach you that or there was
Another one that came after that really showed that to you cuz you said something really and this is where my notes come into play you said something really really good you said that success will make you overlook your flaws oh yeah absolutely you know in
My in my engagement it taught me I will be a great husband okay because I was willing to sacrifice some things for her I was with her for 5 years and I was willing to sacrifice some things that I don’t think a lot of men would have
Sacrificed like what um I was at that time I was willing to like okay wait you know I I mean I’m be with you for 5 years I don’t want to waste your time so if you don’t want no more kids I’ll adopt and my and at that time I was 30
About the air said that is a wrong don’t do that don’t do it because what you’ll do is you’ll grow up yeah and when her grandchildren are saying grandma and calling you Mr Anthony you’re going to grow hate towards her because she’s the reason why
You don’t have any kids oh God that I don’t know why that done tickle me so they be calling you miss Mr Anthony you know and I’m like when he said that it brought me back cuz I’m blessed to have legally two step parents but I
Don’t call them step parents I call them mom and dad and I was like man that would be hard you know and so I was like okay but the fact that I was willing to do that for her I was like all right cool my last relationship
That that I recently ended um um not recently it was about two years no three years ago now yeah it taught me a lot about myself that I would definitely say in that relationship I was the cause of that relationship not ending and it was because I’m I was very selfish of my
Time if I’m just being honest and vulnerable here yeah you’ve talked about this before in a previous interview oh I can’t remember yeah you talked about that you know you come off you know when you get done you’re like I want to shut down I don’t want to talk and I didn’t
Want to have to talk about somebody’s day I don’t yeah I really don’t because it’s like I talk for a living yeah and when I’m done shooting three shows like this right here and I’m giving you know in a relationship I’m pretty sure you know this when you go home hey babe how
Was your day I can’t I have nothing left write it sign it to me put a m be a m listen and I’m like wait what and then you know it’s not just a conversation that you know ladies want to cuddle they want to go out get something to eat they
They just want to talk even more you know ladies talk in paragraphs men we talk in sentences and I’m like hey I’ll be like it was good what what what was good about it I don’t know the day was good I mean and we literally learned that um and and in that particular
Relationship huh we uh were abstaining okay so you guys were not having sex with one another not at all so so much was hanging on the communication in that the verbal communication because you do not have that level of intimacy to connect with absolutely and it was a it was it
Was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because she was a beautiful woman yeah and so the selfish part of that wasn’t just in the communication I remember we got into an argument when we went home to visit my mom because we were watching TV and she wanted to to to
Cuddle and lay up mhm I said no ma’am you going to sit right over there and I’m going to sit right over here Anthony so you telling me how long were y’all da in 5 years she said not that one that’s my exp fiance this is my most recent
Recent relationship how long was this we were dating for about a year and a half a year and a half and y’all couldn’t even cuddle with each other y’all are up staying in a real way oh no it wasn’t because of her so she didn’t want to
Have sex neither um and and I told her I said listen I want to try this guy’s way right I I really do want to try having a relationship with with abstaining and the fifth I just want to make this clear the fifths is very sexual very
Sexual okay okay but at the same time I I want to try this guy’s way you know what I’m saying I’m just being real here and so the selfish part of me was like yo since I can’t have this if I’m going to do this there is no touching oh wow
Yeah there’s no touching there there’s cuz you just can’t and for most men listening if y’all watching this on YouTube whereever put in the comments if y’all agree you can’t spoon me and expect me to not you can’t spoon me you know what I’m saying I’m being
Real like you can’t do that with me and expect me not to want that so my selfishness was we can’t touch we can’t do I mean I’m talking about when she will come to uh to the home I’ll get her hotel room sometimes or I uh the team is they well
I’m just being honest you know I’m like I’m like so so wow and my mom told me she’s like Anthony you got to do something though because so y’all were not kissing not no so you didn’t even know if what what the kiss is like no no
Now will I ever do that again I’m going be honest on your show no ma’am please don’t I’m G to say please don’t do that I was like but again it goes back to just upbringing and training I didn’t know the middle ground yeah and so now I
Was like n it’s all or nothing I would say it’s I can’t say it’s all or nothing but it’s going to be something it’s going to be something I’m going tell you that right now you know I mean and so for me it’s like I’ve learned I’ve learned there has to be a
Way and on top of that communication wasn’t good cuz we were long distance so there’s a lot of things that were compounding in this relationship exactly and the thing that I learned was we probably we probably could be married today if I stepped up to the plate
Communicated better gave her more of my time yeah and just sucked up and say you know what this is what she desires and it’s not like I was say just sucked up that this is what she desires I think in every relationship that I’ve learned man
Or woman we’re going to have to suck up some things yeah we just have to it’s called sacrifice and and honestly I would love to sacrifice some things for my best thing you know what I’m saying so I look forward to that moment to having that but in therapy I learned
That I am selfish yeah and yall going to laugh at this hopefully it doesn’t come off wrong but that’s why I went and I stopped dating and I went and got me a dog you needed to learn how to nurture I I needed to learn how to give up my time
I needed to learn how to embrace being around someone all the time and it really wasn’t just about n nurturing it was about okay I need to get up and go walk you yeah you know you know what I have to tend to you I have to tend to
You right and it’s and I’m not comparing a dog to to a woman by any means but my therapist was like you need to start training your mind and if you’re just keep doing the same thing over and over and over you’re not going to attract
Even watch this not just a woman but friends because none of my friends really want to chill with me because I didn’t want to chill with them cuz I was tired and so I’m like okay all right right so I started forcing myself to really be out more uh to go out with
Like now if I’m in town uh me and my best friend who is my pastor now Pastor Stephen Chandler uh we’ll go play golf every Friday okay I’m forcing myself to get out because I am an introvert everyone thinks I’m an extrovert when I’m on stage I turn on I love being on
Stage but the moment I get off of the stage yeah I don’t want to be bother yeah cuz it’s an outpouring it is and then you really got to be so you have to be so intentional about feeling up refilling it you know refueling yeah it
Is it is but I would definitely say this to any woman who’s going to date a man who’s an introvert and like that have Grace you do you have to because there’s a lot of positive that comes with dating me though yeah you know but at the same
Time my flaws and I’m still working on it to this day um it’s like I tell you my prayer man I pray I get a woman this you heard the Sierra prayer this is the Anthony prayer amen I pray I meet an extrovert introvert woman yeah to where I said
This to one young lady I was dating and she was so offended she said well how come you don’t like like she said I said hey I’m going to be working and she said well I’ll just come over to the house and just chill with you I said no because if
You come over here and chill with me I feel like I got to like ENT I got to ENT I I have to ENT I said that I have to entertain you and she said oh so you have to entertain me now yes I was like
Yeah you’re at my house yes what am I she was like so so so like I’m a liability now I’m like I didn’t say you was a liability you People Under the Stairs but but I do need to I have to acknowledge you I got to host you I to
Host you in my house and that’s what I said so I was like so so she like well I can’t come over because you’re always working and you feel like you got to entertain me like I just want to be in the same room as you and I was like but
Mentally I feel like I can’t really focus and do what I really want to do because you’re here yeah and she stopped dating me because of that statement W because it it really does take a deep level of understanding for that type of Personality trait it doeses it really
Does and so now I pray that I can be with a woman that understands I I I have a vision for my life I know where I’m going in life yeah uh and I love what I do and so my woman has to understand that hey there may be some times to
Where you may come over to the house and I will say hello I will make sure you have everything you need but then I may disappear for two hours and finish my work but I will be intentional about making sure that I come back and that I
Do give you the time that we need because I don’t expect a woman to marry me if I’m not giving her the time and the attention that she deserves yeah but at the same time I need a woman that understands when I’m in my zone let me
Just live in that zone for a little bit because you will be the beneficiary of that zone yeah and it takes a special woman to understand that and I’ve had to understand that not every woman can handle that kind of woman not every woman can handle that kind of man that
Kind of man it’s a lot to be with you know what the the old the rest his soul Kevin Samuels he said a high value man he said a high value soul I know the lady was say rest his soul listen I had no Crums with him though you know no I
Really did and I felt like he was operating in his in his space in his niche in his in his tribe as a leader in his tribe and I felt like there was a lot of valid stuff that he said you just didn’t like the way he was saying
Certain things it didn’t bother me I’m a straight shooter anyway I feel like I like honesty and I like it sered straight you know most people like they want honesty on the Rocks they want honesty with a chaser they want honesty with mixers they want they want all the
Things and I would just rather us be straight and direct it but think you know all the things said being being fine being know flirtatious being you know all of those things that are required you know vivacious and being like childlike men do like that say it
Again they really do like that one they do like a childlike Spirit go through that whole list again one more time but you know what I’m saying I say that Anthony because I had to learn that you had to learn that absolutely absolutely that did not come easy but I you know I
Said say that because why is that hard for y’all it’s hard because many of us have not grown up with examples of that right we grew up with examples of mothers who had to work hard because fathers were not there we grew up watching examples of mothers who
Made everything happen who were the last on the list who always sacrificed their needs for the greater good of the children and so we didn’t see women who got to be fun and flirty and and vibrant and childlike and vivacious because because they were bogged down with heavy
Responsibilities that is my mom and they were the only ones and so we looked at women who you know you always knew as a little black girl you know and and I can only speak from my experience from my experience and this is not everyone’s this is not every black woman’s
Experience but I grew up and I saw a mother’s sacrifice yes and because of that sacrifice I learned very early that no one is coming to save you so you better know know how to put on your cape and make it happen for yourself and so I
Think that so many of us Wow have learned that behavior and carried into workplaces and environments we were told go get an education go get a good job don’t get tied down with no man don’t get tied down with no baby all of the things and so we learn the behavior that
Comes along with that and so we only were pushed that model and so there was a lot of unlearning that I had to do and that did not come until my mid-30s wow yeah you know a lot of ladies don’t like the saying when they say most men don’t want to date that
Successful woman and it’s because of those traits yeah they don’t want to date their mother you’re absolutely right my mom worked three jobs my entire life growing up because she wanted to make sure her kids had a good Christmas yeah I don’t want to marry that woman
And that cuz that doesn’t look like a fantasy no honestly when I look at my mom she’s never told me this I don’t know if my mom was 100% happy in her marriage yeah because she was working three jobs she’s still married to him I know she loves him but I’m like what’s
Like I don’t want that so everything when I look at my mom I want the complete opposite I think we all have have been we’ve had to face that in the mirror within ourselves we’ve all had to do that and I think that that even plays
Into why you know so many of us are marrying much later because we looked at the sacrifice and we said Freedom looks so much better it sure does freedom looks better that looks like that’s too much yes yeah and so many of us made that decision and
So when you look at as a black woman who’s over 40 and you know has has been on other shows you know and caught quite a you know response as talking about being uh you know a woman over 41 and dating but I understand and recognize that I had to
Do a lot of unlearning in order to be this version of me I had to do a lot of unlearning you know yeah touchy subject I’ll bring you at the table we can have this conversation on the table because I mean I think we need
To have why is it touchy though why is it touchy here’s why I touy it’s because I don’t know how to even say it then just say it well it’s like I think someone told me that something’s wrong with me because I’m I’m turning 40 and I’m successful with
No kids of course yes and it’s a red flag major I I’m a woman who’s unmarried with no children red flag nobody she ain’t even got no baby I respected my womb hello but you you move like you’re married you know people say that to me
All the time no listen I asked one of your team members earlier today like about your husband yeah you know what I’m saying I was like I thought you was married like you my twin sister is married I have a twin sister who is married figured that right I know you
Had twins I was like okay wait but you move and operate like your married people say that to me all the time a good think yeah I already know I am a wife you know I am a wife you know my husband and and this you know it’s
Interesting because have people like yes I people have wanted to marry me yes and I’m not using that as a badge of honor I’m using to show that yeah I’m a good woman I I I haven’t said yes no and that was break us down to my show we didn’t
You know I did not feel and I say this that I I wanted to land my plane there you know my mama said something to me young she said two things to me recently after my last breakup she said you know what son you know the common denominator
In all of your relationships why it didn’t work and I was like what Mom she like it’s you me and I was like I yes I receive that totally totally accept that really do and she was like cuz you know my list my mom doesn’t really like my
List because my list is simple I have five s’s save sweet sweet smart skilled very sexual she frowns on the very sexual part but I’m like Mom I led with saved I led with the woman who’s sweet and someone who is smart someone who is skilled those four things are actually
Very very important to me because where I’m going in life what I’m building in life I need a woman who has some level of a skill that can partner with me to help build this thing I said now the very sexual part mom that is also very
Important to me because I don’t want to cheat I don’t want to div and I want bad sex in my marriage and I’m like so I got to marry a woman that she has all five of those but that generation says that sex is not important yeah and so for me
The reason why it took me so long to get here and get to a place where I’m like I’m really really ready it’s because that’s all I hear in my head was she got to love the Lord she got to be able to get on her knees and pray for you and d
D d and one of my homeboys said when she get done praying to God on her knees and you know what to do right you know what I’m saying and it was a pastor I ain’t GNA say his man you know what I’m saying and he was like no that’s real it
Is he said because he’s like if God made sex why do Christians frown away from talking about sex and money and we look at it those are the reasons why divorces are ending Sex and Money the two things we frown upon in the church world and
Only we talk about in church about money is tithing only thing we talk about church when it comes to sex is do it after marriage fornicate don’t fornicate and and it’s like I’m like wow and so that’s all that I heard was it’s not all about the money it’s not all about the
Sex and I’m like well I agree with that it is just as important as a woman being saved to me I think it’s very important I think you know so many of and especially when you talk about black women and you dating black women right actively you’re actively seeking while
You’re maximizing your single season you’re actively seeking right I’m willing to seek you’re willing to see you said that and I was like what does that mean like as I am serving and as I am building if I see some someone I about to say something someone a woman
Who is interested I will I will seek okay I think for my younger days I was just seeking I was just going out looking looking looking looking looking and it distracted me from building so I want to make sure that when I meet my wife that I’ve built something of
Substance that when she comes into it like she’s she’s walking into something good and she’s not saying dang you 40 you ain’t you ain’t do all this yet like I I want her to be like okay you’ve been maximizing this season yeah and you were waiting for me all right let’s go higher
Let’s have some fun I’m telling you man listen uhoh when I he didn’t get married I’mma tell y’all this right now we going on vacation our honeymoon going to be at least 60 days you talked about this you said 60 days you need 60 days cuz you
Are you’re ready to have a whole lot of sex oh we what that you having a whole lot of sex L before we even hit the reception we having sex and y’all casting Vision y’all having sex and casting Vision what are we doing when we get back home this is where we going
This is what we’re doing I’m talking about why we’re having sex we’re talking about he said you got to preach to me while you on me okay you got to you got to speak speak to me you know what I’m saying I mean why it’s the best time to have that
Conversation I mean you going to get all everything you need everything everything you need you know and it’s like why not and here’s the thing we’re not struggling over money finances is not an issue we getting back home and we are going to be just so focused but I
Want to have a healthy fun productive marriage yeah I don’t want it just to be a oh man they’re doing good no no no I want to get excited when I come home home and I know couples today who are not excited going home and I understand
They we have some down Seasons but I think if I get those five s’s the Down Season we’ll be able to get through them together yeah and I won’t date a woman who doesn’t go to therapy you won’t date a woman who doesn’t go to therapy if she
Has not gone to therapy I will not date her she has had to one of the prerequisites in dating you is that you have had to have gone through started the process of some sort of therapy absolutely because I need you I need you I need you healing I don’t need you
Healed but I need you taking the first step forward yourself of healing I mean I think you said you you said it repeat I need you and I think in order for me like to really get the maximizing of this relationship you know maximum potential Max I need you maximum and
That’s what people don’t understand I need you and so we got all these lists you have a list right and we live in this dating world of list right you got a list um my list is I do have a list okay yeah one of the things a couple
Things on my list I’ll give you five things five like mine five I’m going to do five cuz you did five okay let’s go honesty Integrity a man of good character he’s respected for his wisdom okay he is respected by his family and his children if he has them he’s
Respected for his word yeah he’s not respectful but he’s respected he’s respected that’s good yeah I want you to be respected and if you have children I want them to respect you because that that honor is going to show up in how they show up in the world o you know I
Respect my father and it’s a reason why I show up in the world the way that I do and so I learned that and then the other thing is that he is slow to anger quick to love that’s good those are my top five that should be easy to find I felt
Like you know it’s here and and I will say this I’ve I’ve had some amazing love in my life okay amazing love amazing people some of those relationships are still so good we’re still good friends and not in the sense of like we sit on the phone and talk every every day
That’s not it but we love each other enough to check on each other in Seasons you know like I ain’t heard from what’s going on how you doing you know and I feel like that’s just a mark of you know the season of love that we shared and
Maybe we weren’t meant to go into this next season but I I’ve had some really really good good men in my life that’s good yeah that have really loved me yeah every single woman that’s been in my life were great ladies yeah I just met them at theong season and I think that
That that was a lot of it too in my own life and there is no regret for me even at 41 years old um as not being married and not having children I think that there has been a Divine reason for my singleness wow and so I think that for
The life that I am able to live right right now has required the season of me to become this version of me right the better me and therapy I am so grateful that I was not married to somebody before I went through therapy for real I am so grateful because I would have
Damaged something that didn’t need to be damaged I would have turned a world upside down that didn’t have to be torn up because I didn’t know how to how to wield my power facts facts and it’s taken me time to learn how to you know
My scepter you know and my my my gavel and all of the things that I get to carry y it’s taking me time to really learn how to use them properly you know I think I tell all the men who I have the opportunity to kind of mentor and
Lead and guide in this season of my life therapy is needed tremendously yeah and I wouldn’t be the man who I am today without therapy absolutely because I I think we are programmed to blame everyone else and therapy has taught me before before you point the finger at
Anyone what is it that what did you do and how even if someone said something and you said well that offended me what wait why did it offend you yeah so it may be something internal that you need to process to kind of fix that that that
That that feeling that you have and I’m like wow and so now man I do something and and and this is your show I don’t I don’t know how much time I got left but I do something now that has really transformed my entire life um that has helped me make
Millions that has helped me build a great business is I go to silent Retreats have you done one first of all you already in my head so just go ahead we are tracking we in the spirit real right now so I’m with you yeah I I I do
This thing called a silent Retreat because I started noticing that I’m so consumed by the internet I’m Co so consumed by what’s on YouTube was on podcast was on the social media world and uh my my my pastor not my pastor but my uh spiritual father in the ministry
Rudolph mckisic Jr um his father did a silent Retreat while I was there and I couldn’t make it uh because of I was working but I said you know I’m going to try that one day and um I tried it yeah and I did it for three days me too I did
That and I it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done yeah because it’s complete silence you’re not talking when you’re going to get something to eat your phone is it’s off you couldn’t even listen to worship music at this particular spot um and so I went to a spot to where we went
To the beach so the only thing you hear is water and I went to the mountains the mountains yeah I would fall asleep in the mountains but it was good because while I was there we saw a uh therapist in the morning and we saw a therapist in the
Evening okay and that was the only time we could talk and in the morning time they gave us an assignment that had to go to the night therapist so the morning time was a spiritual therapist starting out the day evening time we ended it with a therapist I was able to call my
Therapist on Zoom oh wow yes we we were in meditation so the whole time no talking yoga and meditation yoga and meditation the entire time my God I couldn’t the yoga I couldn’t do and meditation eight hours a day eight hours a day and you well you couldn’t talk for
Eight and you could talk the other no talking no talking I had a word sign that says my name I’m in silence wow and I had to give you a notepad to write down anything that you need well yeah on this beach resort once you walk in a building there is no
Talking and and it says you can talk here that’s in the therapy oh wow yeah but outside of that even when we went to pick up our food we had Point yeah and it was it was it was good because I wrote down so much about me
Yeah um the therapist even asked me what do you not like about yourself that was a question that took me every bit of eight hours what did you say I didn’t like the fact that I was selfish I didn’t like the fact that I was still single I didn’t like the fact that
Sometimes I am lonely I didn’t like the fact that I work hard um I didn’t like the fact that um I didn’t like how I treated my my other mother stepmother when I was younger um um I I didn’t like how I transitioned from certain relationships after that I came back and apologized
To um friends family members about some of the last conversations that we’ve had but the biggest apology I ever made was I apologize to myself what did you say to yourself uh it was simple I’m sorry I’m sorry for not being true in real with you like I’m sorry for for for
Bearing the truth and living in a lie in certain areas of our life I’m sorry that we went out in front of public and now when people ask me how are you doing if I’m not doing well I tell them the truth yeah and I don’t ask
People how are you doing anymore because I know nine times out of 10 they’re going to give me a lie yeah and sometimes let’s be real I don’t want to have that conversation with you if you are feeling bad cuz I’m not in a space do that but it’s just program right so
When people would ask me how am I doing I would lie and I would come home and live that lie I would come home and I would live in the success of selling you know thousands of books and live in a success of speaking on stage being on
National TV and doing this stuff but I never really stopped and said hey how are you and let’s take care of you I’ve always taken care of others I’ve always lived up to every everyone else’s thoughts and opinions of me and I never took time to heal me to really really go
Deep into how I’m doing and I think that’s one reason why I was still single and am still single it’s because God knew deep down at the surface you’re a good man you’re a successful man you’re an attractive young man but at the core oh no son I can’t bring one of my
Daughters to you and you have not honestly taken the time to address you with your core yeah and and I had to apologize to myself for not doing that yeah and now that’s all that’s all we do now when I wake up one of my good friends Dr Nita Phillips said something
On my show she said when you wake up Anthony I want you to before you do anything just sit there for 10 minutes and ask yourself how are you doing yeah and live in that feeling and be honest with your feeling and if you’re not doing good ask yourself why am I not
Feeling good yeah and now I’m going to wake up every single morning that’s the first thing that I ask myself how am I doing why am I feeling this way so now I know how to move throughout the day yeah and it allows me with my team uh my
Staff and and and anyone that’s around me for that day now I can check myself rather than them getting that information and they’re like what’s wrong with you yeah like I know how to approach the day now and I wasn’t doing that I’ll just get up go to the gym work
Out turn on some some Jeezy and and I would hide my true feelings and I would wonder why I was snapping at my team why I was snapping at my dag on dog and she look at me like like what’s wrong with you and I’m like it’s me and I think successful
Individuals we we tend to live in our success hide our truth and the silent Retreat really revealed to me that you’re successful but you’re still failing in some other areas yeah and now at 39 by the hit 40 I’m like okay okay my wife needs success in those
Areas yeah if I’m blessed I have children they need success in those areas and I have to work on it now which is why I’m very big on single people maximizing our single season yeah and we do that by getting into therapy by acknowledging our f um our failures and
Failures Is Not a Bad Thing failures means you can learn from it it’s lessons you know there’s just so many lessons yeah and so your biggest lesson that you learned from Silence was that it’s okay to have successes but it’s also okay to have failures it is and to not allow
Your failures to dictate your future because I think sometimes if we don’t address it it will take over yeah and I don’t want my future to be determined by the things that I hid wait hold on cuz somebody gonna miss that one yeah I’m serious like I I don’t
I want my future to be determined by the things that I purposely H I’ve hidden mhm o M that’s going to hit somebody in a parking lot basic the TRU and as I started noticing that man yeah things of today are because of the things that I I
Hid two five 10 years ago yeah and I don’t want to you hide anymore no so what are you looking for you said you’re about to turn 40 you know 40 is a shift that happens it’s a whole new decade it’s a whole new era of your life what
Are you looking forward to man I’m in Legacy right now okay you know I’m really in the whole Legacy Point I don’t have a wife yet I don’t have any kids um I don’t even know at 40 if I want kids I I don’t know I think right now Fair yeah
That’s very fair it’s like you know I want a wife for sure and then her and I would decide what that looks like but that’s where I am like I’m like and I already I tell people all the time like you know because of my age I said now if
I do get do pregnant and have a baby and I get I just know when you see me I’m doing the Lord’s work I’m doing the Lord’s work I’m doing the Lord’s work that that lady she’s doing the Lord’s work come on now she’s doing the Lord’s work look she’s doing the
Lord’s work if you see me I’m doing the Lord’s work my God and he is pleased with you yes ma’am so that’s it yeah I’m serious I mean but it’s like now it’s it’s um and it’s and it’s so funny because I feel the shift in me internally yeah
Just this year I did a full estate plan and I was like am am I really doing an estate plan right now and it’s just me and it’s like you have you nieces nephews I do and so they are you very close with them very very close you know
My little brother just had a bab Rich Uncle Vibes you you rich Uncle Vibes that’s what they call me Rich Uncle yeah that’s what they call me and it’s like and it’s because I don’t give them gifts so all of them have 529s and so we just I just sew into that
So I’ve never given them a Christmas gift I’ve never given them a birthday gift um I’ve just only sewn money when my parents started at 520 9 I just started my own and so for them my goal is at 18 we cut them a large check well
I cut them a check grandma and granddaddy cut them a check and then my nieces and nephews are actually they’re famous you know what I’m saying so they’ve done stuff for John Legend for Apple for I mean they’re very very uh bright kids so they have money that they
Don’t even know that they have set aside so you know we are raising young men and and young ladies of influence of wealth and literally when they turn 18 they’ll probably come into about a quar million to $300,000 just sitting there for them aw that’s awesome so everything for me is
Right now is legacy and and just praying that God puts the right woman in front of me to find and to pursue um and after that too it’s my company I have a great team and it’s you know I want to make other millionaires on my team um I’ve
I’ve had the opportunity to be in rooms of millionaires who’ve helped I want you to just say this and I’m stopping you because you you went to a mastermind you went to a mastermind of people who were making 100 plus million a year oh yeah
And you walk into that room you say I got to shut up oh absolutely yeah I think sometimes when we walk in the rooms we want to like show people we got it in this room I heard God say shut up and ask questions was it hard for you
Yes to shut up it really was it really was because here’s the thing I come in that room and and I’m known so they’re asking me questions yeah and I’m like no no no that’s not my assignment I I need your help I will help you for sure but I
Want to listen yeah and I promise you I was there for a weekend I joined this Mastermind for a year and I was a part of this Mastermind and because I listened I met two people in that Mastermind uh one of his name is Colin
Boyd and I’m a preacher at heart so I know how to communicate I know I know how to encourage people I know how to move the crowd I didn’t know how to effectively sell like how to sell something that I know you can benefit from so I’m
Thinking because I’m a preacher I can sell but selling effectively and not feeling grimy is different from communicating yeah and after sitting down with him for 6 months my company did a little over $2 million just in that one particular part and it really just it wasn’t even just
Courses it was a little bit of everything selling on my show how to properly get people to subscribe and like he really taught me the art of understanding people’s felt need and and providing to their felt need and I was like okay this is good and if I would
Not have been in that room if I would not have just listened I wouldn’t have gotten what I’ve gotten so many people probably need to hear that because they may be walking into rooms that they feel like they need to be doing all the
Talking no yeah no what my I was at the barber shop the other day getting ready to come on this good show and I know all these good the lineup’s crispy I got to let you know bar she said I see you but I was in the barber shop and one of the
Guys he recognized me and said hey yo I got to ask you a question man like a young man like myself if I’m trying to get in the room when I get in the room what do I say and I said that’s the wrong question the question is not what you
Say the question is what you ask and one thing I Like About You Brandy is that you studied me like crazy and you knew what to ask and I think sometimes when we get in the room we didn’t do no studying yeah we didn’t do no research
We we know what we want to say and how we want to impress but the biggest way to impress if you get in the room with a Bill Gates with the Steve Harvey with the you know Bishop TD Jake is what kind of questions are you asking that’s
Sending them a message that lets them know you studied yeah and I never forget when I got in my first room with Bishop Jake I’ve been in several with them um now um I asked them the right questions yeah you know and it’s like for me
Anytime I get into the room when I was working with Dave Ramsey I always asked him a question before I bought my first house before I made my first big investment before I even got married I’m like hey Dave you know you you worth a quarter quarter billion dollars uh what
Do you think about this you think about that and I listened yeah now did I always listen that’s a different subject but for the most part I wanted to ask the right questions and um it was a very well-known Pastor who said this to me and I and I I took
It from him he said Anthony one thing I like about you is every time you got in this room you maximized this room yeah and that’s that’s what it’s all about it’s maximized the room you’re in you maximized his interview because you you did some time to study I don’t think we
Study yeah and we got to study study to show th s approved come on now so as we we close this I feel like I want to say that you are the king of maximizing I am you’re maximizing every season of your life whether it’s your single season
Your business season you are maximizing so as we close out what’s one piece of advice that you would give to our audience to maximize and take their life to the next level that’s good question I mean there’s so many things that I would say
I wish I could say but just one cuz we sucking time she looking at me just give me no no no look I I know that you have many you know I know that you have many because you’ve done all of the work to get many but what’s the one that if you
Say look if you don’t pick up nothing else you better take this one and run with it to the bank you know Jay-Z is going viral right now because of his response to um his his amazing interview on CBS with Gil and she asked him the
Question of you know would you take the meeting with you if you were younger to 500,000 he said no that’s a bad deal he said because I’ve already put all of my wisdom and life experiences inside of the inside of the music and a lot of people are responding say that’s crazy
Of course Jay would say that cuz he’s a billionaire no no no no no listen everything that Jay-Z is teaching you is inside of a book somewhere it’s inside of a podcast it’s inside it’s it’s on YouTube and so if you really want to maximize get off of Netflix get off of
Um reality TV shows and go study and go read that will equip you to get more inform more wisdom and then when you do get in the room what’s going to happen is now that you have this wisdom and knowledge here now you’re going to get even more
And you’re really taking advantage of the room now that’s it because Jay-Z doesn’t have the time to teach you how to budget yeah you know he he’s not going to sit here’s how you add and subtract no no no you need to come to the table with more than the basics a
Little bit more than you need to be on an advanced level so now we can really teach you something and that’s maximize in a row I mean and and that is the sheer purpose of these conversations I come with all the preparations so we can dive deeper and
Know the the real deal behind what it means to be real to be relevant to be relatable in a season like this Anthony O’Neal I have enjoyed you so hey man thank you thank you so much I listen I’m coming back he’s coming back and then
I’m jumping on a plane to go to him and so I thank you guys for joining us for another impactful very thought-provoking conversation with one of the world’s most influential entrepreneurs and people I’m so grateful for these conversations make sure you like make sure you comment make sure you subscribe
And join this community because we got more good stuff on the way Anthony O’Neal thank you so much until next time you guys eat well give a damn move your body every single day peace
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