Good evening and welcome to in the hood this is our inaugural episode of in the hood and I’m brother Mark shank I’m the provincial minister of the capan province of St Conrad and I’m father Christopher Gama the guardian and director of student formation here in Denver Colorado it’s a pleasure to be
With you tonight and we’re very happy to be here as I said this is an inaugural issue this is going to be a monthly P podcast on the third Thursdays of every month and uh this is the very first one and uh so in this podcast we hope to
Talk about some timely topics uh in both our society in the culture and in in the church and to do it from our our Catholic and cishan point of view so I first of all I want to say a little bit about the name of our program in the
Hood so it’s a playful reference to the fact that we have uh very large hoods on our habit uh which distinguishes US from many other religious orders and from the other franciscans and uh this in Italian is called the capucho which means a hood and that eventually became capan in in
English so that’s uh that’s where we get the the name of our program but it it’s also a reference to the fact that we’re going to be talking about topics that you might hear on the street or in in the Hood in a sense and so that’s what
We’re hoping to do um now uh I grew up in W mitz Kansas which is too small to have neighborhoods so I can’t really say that I grew up in the hood I don’t know about you yeah no I can very much identify with the hood so I feel uh very
Much at home with our backdrop here I grew up in Pueblo Colorado so I’m very familiar with the hood our student house is uh in Westwood very much in the hood here in Denver uh so but hopefully this is the first uh of many many shows that
We do together brother Mark so I’m excited and thank you all for watching and uh please subscribe on that button there on YouTube and hopefully when this video gets uploaded you can share it with others great yeah so let’s introduce our topic for this week uh you
Know in uh one week time we’re going to be celebrating Thanksgiving and um so tonight we want to kind of look at that we want to sort of look at the origins of Thanksgiving but also at what’s happening with the Thanksgiving today in a sense there’s those who would like to almost cancel
Thanksgiving to get rid of it to forget about it and so we’re going to talk a little bit about that about the woke movement about cancel culture and so we’re going to be discussing these issues and what we’d like to hear from you as well so you can leave uh some
Comments or questions in the in the chat box and we will hope to get to those at at the end of our program sounds like a plan MH so before we get started uh why don’t we start with a prayer absolutely all right in the name of the father and
Of the son and of the Holy Spirit good and gracious father we thank you tonight for allowing us come to to come together in your son’s name we pray that we are always grateful for your blessings Lord Jesus we thank you and praise you for our salvation for the
Power of your cross and the resurrection uh we pray for deeper faith and courage and strength to Proclaim your name in this Culture Holy Spirit we adore you we bless you and we thank you we ask you to fill us and our audience and those that
Support us in our capan way of life with Thanksgiving for the blessings in their lives and we make all of this known through Christ Our Lord amen amen the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit amen thank you absolutely Ely Mr so uh
Why don’t we start off maybe with talking about a little bit who we are and maybe kind of some Ministries that we’re involved in as a a frier so uh brother Mark you mentioned uh you’re the provincial what does that entail well uh it it means overseeing a group of Friars
In in a region so I’m I oversee 70 friars and their Ministries and the the try to keep the province functioning and and so forth so it’s it’s a Ministry it’s a fraternal Ministry it’s it’s looking after the brothers a lot of the time yeah interesting okay and so as a
As a provincial I think my understanding is you carry a unique title as well because uh technically you’re a lay fryer and historically that uh hasn’t been always the case and so maybe how can you explain to maybe some of our viewers today how that is uniquely part
Of your role as provincial well yes canon law um even today they haven’t changed the canon law in a sense but the canon law always required that a a major Superior which a provincial minister is considered a major Superior that means he has authority over others it required
That that person to be a priest if uh he was in a religious order that had significant number of priests and so um but in 2019 when we had our provincial chapter of course our constitution cap constitutions have always said that any frier can hold any office office um but
The Vatican didn’t always agree with us on that and so we we didn’t have any L friers um except with one exception we didn’t L friers weren’t provincial ministers uh up until then but in 2019 the The Province elected me and uh they um asked the Vatican to make an
Exception and um well Pope Francis did so thanks be to God no we’re certainly grateful for your yes and your ministry anytime I talk to the the the Catholic faithful about your job and role as as provincial Minister I always remind them that St Francis uh was a lay frier first
And and you know most likely a deacon but never uh U an ordained priest and a lot of people are always surprised to hear that about us and so we have that tradition of service in the church as lay brother and priest and myself uh I’ve been in the role of formation
Director now for almost eight years uh so what that entails uh is uh accompanying our young student friers as they kind of weigh their way after their first vow so we take V vows in poverty Chastity and obedience we ask our young men uh to be formed in the mind of the
Church and and the spirituality of St Francis so they have lots of uh experiences they’re formed in community they’re formed in service and so I’m kind of like a an older brother or a coach to kind of guide them uh through that process and so it’s very rewarding
And then some other side jobs I do in the dases uh a little helpout ministry here and there uh little confessional ministry here and there and some other things that are peppered along with with that but uh I’m really excited to start this new ministry tonight and so what
About uh Thanksgiving do you have any funny stories uh from your childhood or maybe your life uh about Thanksgiving that maybe we could share with our viewers tonight well I I I say I I love Thanksgiving I think it’s my favorite uh holiday and it’s because it’s uh at
Least up until recently it was it was almost no commercialization of Thanksgiving it was just a pure family holiday and and I really love that but yeah to to your point you know I um one of the memories that I have of Thanksgiving that that I will never
Forget I’m sure is uh um back many years ago uh when I was living in Kansas and working in our high school there I uh my my younger brother invited the whole family to his house uh for Thanksgiving he had just uh bought a new house uh not
Long before and so he wanted to have the whole family over so I had to drive about an hour to get there to his house and uh as usual I was running late and so I got there about 15 minutes uh after 12 I guess and they were planning on
Starting at 12 so I pulled up and there were all these cars parked outside so I thought well it must be the right place uh I thought he invited a lot more people than just the family looks like and so I thought well I’m not going to
Make them get up from the table to answer the door I’ll just walk in so I walked into the house and I came into the living room and there were all these kids sitting around the table in the living room I didn’t recognize any of them but I well I don’t know everybody’s
Kids and and one of them said to me you’re late and I I said I’m sorry yeah I know I know and then I walked into the dining room uh around the corner into the dining room and I looked I didn’t recognize a single person
There and they said to me can we help you and uh it turns out that I was my brother’s house was two doors down so big shout out to the Millers uh in great Ben Kansas if you’re listening uh thanks for not shooting me so it sounds like you felt maybe like
A big turkey that day in that random family that uh that you fell upon well that’s that’s that’s definitely a unique story uh for myself growing up I think I associate uh Thanksgiving I had more kind of a secular background went to public school public high school and so
Uh very much Americanized and so for me I think uh about American football and just a wholesome meal on um Thanksgiving and watching football all day long and just sharing a quality meal with family and friends but but one positive memory from childhood that I can think of uh we
Always had Pablo green chili on top of our mashed potatoes so that was something unique I think you have to go to Southern Colorado to experience it appreciate it because green chili is kind of like a gravy uh but instead of the brown gravy or the turkey gravy we
Would always uh spread that on there and so I always look forward to that and sometimes uh if if there was a good harvest uh we would even have tamales so tamales and turkeys for me uh go together but I’m I’m Hispanic and so not everybody had that but uh yeah just
Great uh times as a kid uh playing football uh we had a a game that we called the Turkey Bowl so eight on eight uh football have vivid memories of going to the to the Middle School to the high school just playing football a pickup game with friends on Thanksgiving day
And it was just a lot of fun growing up yeah now you made me hungry well hopefully we we have a good Thanksgiving meal so uh what about as a frer do you have any uh positive memories of Thanksgiving as a frier well it’s you know we always get
Together um wherever we are and uh have a Thanksgiving meal and uh you know in recent years so we don’t have uh friers who are sort of dedicated as cooked so we we have some but not not all of our houses have a fryer who’s kind of
Dedicated or designated as the cook and so often times we’re uh we do our own cooking and not everybody’s an expert and turkey is not always an easy dish to to make and so I’ve had some pretty bad thany meals as a fryer uh but I’ve had
Some very good ones as well and actually when I was in Rome um we we taught our Italian cook uh about Arthur Thanksgiving traditions and our menu turkey and dressing and mashed potato and so forth and one of the best turkeys I ever had was in Rome okay at
Our general ATS so did they did they steal the American recipe or did you give them the secret recipe how did they know to just make it quite right um actually the the U the recipe for the uh stuffing came from my mother I I I asked
My mother for the recipe she assured me that she put all the ingredients into the recipe and um so so yeah so he made that the turkey he kind of figured that out himself okay yeah that’s great yeah that reminds me of one of my favorite uh Thanksgiving experiences as a frier was
Uh when I was in Washington DC in 2015 so shout out to the sagus and friers if you’re watching but I had Vivid memories of being at capan College there on herwood road right by um the national Basilica the imaculate conception and four friers were designated to babysit
Or almost uh closely adore the deep fried turkey so they started at like 700 in the morning um and they all took shifts they all took rotations to make sure this turkey was cooked to Perfection um and so it was just fascinating to see the devotion and and
And the the care that went into making sure that that turkey was uh prepared just right and then more recent I have vivid memories of uh brother Vinnie Carrasco from our Province uh he’s an expert at smoking turkeys um so I have some vivid fun memories
With him and he had to babysit this turkey from like 6: in the morning starting it you know with all the seasoning and then uh to smoke a turkey actually takes a longer uh to to cure the meat so it ended up being like an eight hour process and uh so uh very
Much appreciate those who care for meat uh because we reap the the fruits of their labor so but as a frier it’s always been a joyful experience for me uh I know we’re going to have some some uh wonderful celebrations here at St Francis coming up in in uh a not too
Short time so I’m looking forward to that so uh when we think of tonight’s programming um how do we turn our attention to maybe the the that uh struggle that a lot of people are having within our culture within our church uh we talked about our value and our appreciation for uh Thanksgiving
Something sacred to us as Americans but it seems like a cancel culture or maybe a wokeism it is challenging The Narrative around that and so what do you see as kind of being the definition of wokeism or a cancel culture and and why might they have an issue with
Thanksgiving well well yeah that’s I mean the uh the the problem when whenever you’re talking about the woke woke culture um the problem that at least I have is that you need a definition you know first of all what you’re talking about and uh it’s been I
You know I did a little research into this and uh it’s not easy to really come up with a um a very you know standard definition you know that sure some who would say being woke means to be alert to racial prejudice and discrimination which actually is it’s a
Good thing you know I and I don’t know who who could argue with that and certainly it fits very well with our Catholic Social teaching that we should be alert and uh and avoid racial uh prejudice and discrimination but others would say though that that that’s
Not that being woke is much more than that that it’s a it’s a framework for for viewing all of reality and that framework is that there’s an oppressor and there’s the oppressed in every situation there’s an oppressor and there’s an oppressed and you have to identify which is which and then you have
To punish somehow the oppressor uh to help the oppressed that’s a very different uh thing you know from being alert to racial prejudice and discrimination yeah so no I like that I like the idea of a framework you know in my understanding it’s using more philosophical terms from
Hagel more modern philosopher he used a coin the term the hegelian dialect and so what it does is it takes a thesis and an antithesis to come to a new kind of conclusion and so uh it seems from my perspective those who Embrace this framework of wokeism or the cancel
Culture are viewing uh the the socioeconomic struggles in our world or the perceived struggles along with the historical and the religious and are only critiquing through that lens and I think that lens is very important to those maybe that are you know arguing from that framework but we have to be
Careful because there are multiple Frameworks that we can analyze reality through and if and my particular struggle is is it seems like that’s the only one that uh we’re listening to right now I think it’s an important framework to hear but are there other Frameworks maybe a Catholic framework or
A capan framework or a western civilization framework that um we can comment on some of the struggles that we’re experiencing in our time yeah I I that’s exactly it and I think it that that is our basic uh problem with the sort of the woke culture is
That because of that framework we would have a very different framework for viewing the world you know and uh that framework would be that the world is certainly there’s not perfect there’s a lot of sin in the world but there’s also always a chance for Redemption right and
It seems that that’s what kind of gets lost in in the woke U movement and um and it’s what it’s really becomes sad then and for me is what it does with the whole idea of Thanksgiving then is it begins to look at Thanksgiving not as a
Chance to be grateful for what we’ve received but it’s looking for you know what did these people who were celebrating who were do you know celebrating the first Thanksgiving who were they what were they doing were they the oppressors or they oppressed when they say they they were oppressors they were oppressing the
The Native Americans and so there’s this almost desire now to to cancel Thanksgiving right because of this yeah and as a student of history and Theology and philosophy you know the it requires a certain intellectual rigorism and and the truth is often more complex than
Than what meets the eye and so to me the the woke framework or the cancel culture framework a wok topian if you are that person we hope you’re watching tonight um to me it seems like an easy framework or or maybe kind of a surface framework but there’s I think a harder
Intellectual discipline that we need to derive to understand the truth in it in a more uh full way um so in your mind who are some of the maybe historical figures that maybe got cancell or in today’s world in in wokeism or the cancel culture that might not be
Perceived in a POS positive light well I mean sticking with our theme here I mean certainly Christopher Columbus has been um the object of a lot of um canellation I guess you’d say lately um painting him as yeah the person who oppressed the Native Americans the natives where wherever he he landed he
And and the those he brought with him and those who followed him and so yeah you know in many places now they don’t celebrate any more Columbus Day they they celebrate the Native American day which I think is great that we have a day to celebrate the Native Americans I
Just don’t know that we need to cancel Christopher Columbus in the process not defending everything he did he certainly made mistakes and those who followed him made even more mistakes some of the things that were done terrible atrocities done and injustices committed but to sort of just try to erase all of
That history I’m not sure in fact I’m sure that it’s it’s not helpful in the long run right no I I agree I tend to agree and you know I think one of the dangers of Temptations in in critiquing the past is reading into our own cultural idiosyncrasies into the
Struggles of um you know the people of the past and I don’t think that’s a fair assessment of uh cultural history and the more I study Christopher Columbus the more I’m actually impressed uh with the Endeavors that he did and you know sometimes when we when we read about him
Or we study about him you know we’re were horrified with kind of the atrocities like you mentioned um but sometimes that comes from a very simplistic view of the indigenous peoples that were here in the island of Haiti in North America and South America sometimes we have this kind of Walt
Disney view of you know Pocahontas that everything here was uh you know kind of the Garden of Eden uh but if you go back and study other historical details of those times that is absolutely not the case there was violence there was slavery there was horri horrific atrocities atrocities
Dehumanizing uh um The Human Condition and so Christopher Columbus uh was a great Navigator right he kind of uh uh was The Cutting Edge of of nav navigating the Atlantic Ocean up until that time that had not happened now you probably remember when we first went uh
To the moon and so that kind of her heroic U patriotism you know that was something that we could all appreciate and in the time of Christopher Columbus he was at that kind of uh courageous um Endeavor and and so we have to kind of remember how hard that must have been uh
To do those things he was he was cutting edge and then not only that he was motivated by a missionary mandate he was motivated by the gospel by Jesus Christ and so there’s a religious uh analysis I think that falls short when we only look through the uh woke culture and then
From a Franciscan perspective what’s interesting about Christopher Columbus that I’m reading about is uh some suspect that he might even uh have been a third order Franciscan he wore a third order habit and associated with the ofm friers that were very popular in Spain and then we know from the expansion of
The Spanish um uh the the New World um the Friars came along with the Spanish kist and I think for me the the most significant thing of what Christopher Columbus did recently I went to Spain on pilgrimage to the shrine of St James and also visited Fatima uh but the Apostle
St James who was one of the first 12 disciples went to Spain to evangelize and on uh October 12th he had an apparition of the Blessed Mother because he too was struggling with evangelization of the peoples at that time and she encouraged him uh to continue uh the new evangelization
Continue to announce the gospel continue uh to uh serve the culture with love courageously and so he later goes back to Jerusalem and is shortly martyred but Christopher Columbus uh came from that Heritage of St James the Apostle and reach land here in North America on the
Same feast day of Our Lady of the pillar October 12th and so in his eyes uh he was he felt like he was divinely inspired or called by God uh to not only find new continent but to share the goodness of the Christian faith and again one of the struggles I have is
With the cancel culture that gets diminished or that tends to get uh overlooked with only analyzing from a socioeconomic perspective yeah you know and mentioning the the franciscans um one of the other figures that uh has been on the target of the cancel culture is junip rosera the
Brother junipa rosera they tore down several of his statues in California and tried to tear down others and yet you know um he wrote the first Bill of Rights uh that existed in the North American continent he wrote it for the indigenous peoples in California to uh
To assert their rights um against the the Spanish government and the Spanish soldiers who were there representing Spain and uh so he you know it seems to me and again I’m not denying that there were missteps that there might have been atrocities that there may have been some
Bad things that have hap that happened there um but there was also an awful lot of good and so to to wipe out all of the good in the name of the few bad things that people did just not sure that I I I just don’t see that this is a healthy
Way to go right yeah if that’s the only hermeneutic or the only tool that we’re using to analyze something I think all of us would be canceled in some way shape or form uh but going back to you know some of the missions uh that were first started here in North America you
Think of you know Al Paso or San Antonio all the missions along the California coast Santa Fe for me I’ve visited a lot of those ancient uh places where the new evangelization took place and one thing that inspires me from The Franciscan perspective is the the Friar’s way of
Evangelizing was living amongst the indigenous peoples they saw them as having dignity they saw them as having intelligence they saw them as people that were prepared to receive the Gospel almost kind of the inverse of maybe uh some of the Aztec or the Mind cultures uh that was uh you know maybe appeasing
The gods through human sacrifice but introducing them to a God who would sacrifice their his own son so they can continue to thrive and flourish on this new continent and so there are positives and and an elevation of culture that was brought to the indigenous peoples now
Where we have to be careful I think in the modern culture is not uh to lean towards syncretism right because that’s a Temptation for the modern mind as well is to say well um everything in the Indigenous culture is equal or of same value as the gospel I think they had
Some uh particular positive things in their religious Traditions their cultural heritage but also there were some things still missing and lacking and so uh that from a w perspective is always a point of contention and so we try to see the good I think but also to elevate it towards
Christ who is the truth I think yeah I have so uh I would boil down the problems with the with the woke cultures to three I at least this is the way I see it that there are three uh problems with that that framework of seeing the
World one is the first is is that it’s too simplistic um because the the the person who’s an oppressor today tomorrow may be uh the oppressed and the one who’s oppressed today tomorrow could be an oppressor and this we’ve seen this over and over and over again in history where there is no
One who’s or very seldom one who’s always on top never being oppressed and so you know if you start to um you know say any anytime you’ve done anything bad you know then you’re going to be cancelled well uh it brings to mind U Gandhi’s famous line is that uh if we
Follow the rule of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth soon the whole world will be blind and Toothless yes um everybody’s going to get canceled in the end because who who is not a sinner you know right now I think that’s an
Important point right and and we as Catholic Christians as as capish and franciscans we try to uh Proclaim that there is hope that no one is beyond uh being saved we have an eternal soul and that God uh desires us to be in relationship with him as his children
And if we cancel everyone right then we’re denying that uh free choice uh to participate um in the kingdom of God and and so I worry about some of that right and I think you know something from the western civilization culture brought To Us by Columbus some of the European uh
Strengths uh of the age of exploration right the fact that we can be on a podcast and talk about the exchange of ideas right the freedom of religion uh uh the freedom of worship right the ability to speak openly and freely those are all ideas brought to us from the
European continent and and even though we might disagree with somebody in a woke framework or cancel culture framework hopefully we can dialogue peacefully and exchange ideas even if we disagree with each other and the fact that we can hear each other and listen to each other I think is a good
Thing yeah I like what you said about Redemption you know and I I think this is a way it’s a very topical thing for franciscans I mean uh that Francis in creating a Brotherhood was proclaiming that it’s possible to have redeemed relationships and this is what he was
Really striving for in having this fraternity this Brotherhood was redeemed relationships and uh so I think we as franciscans above all have a a duty to say know that relationships can be redeemed it’s it’s not one and done right so yeah and it’s very very uh
Gospel as well right if your brother uh uh or you know Peter speaks up and asks Jesus how many times should I forgive my brother seven and Jesus says no 70 times seven the fullness uh that it should take to to bring your brother back into relationship but I like that that
Insight right that Francis has this vision of the world of of God of of even uh a broken part of his world which were lepers to be in right relationship with them or have a right ordering um with uh all of that and so uh I think that’s
Certainly one of the gifts that that we could bring to the conversation um but I see some questions kind of uh filtering in now is there any more you would like to add uh to that conversation before we take some questions from our audience yeah just to
Say the the other two difficulties I have with it is one again is where does it end you know because um when you look at uh some of the greatest artists in the in the history of the world at least in western civilization they were not Paragons of of moral
Living sure um think of Mozart one of my yeah Mozart in the music world one of my favorite um painters the Renaissance was Philip o leppi and he was a Serial womanizer and uh he’s a terrible person but his his art is Sublime and so what do we start painting
Over the this you know as they say beauty will save the world and if we start canceling all of this art because of the the moral problems of of the artists I you know we end up canceling everything that’s beautiful in the world and uh it’s going to be a
Very Bleak World on on that it’ll be a very boring world I think you know like remember the the old products when you go to the grocery store they would have like the brand name and then the generic the generic were often you know um kind of established by the government at a
Reduced cost but it was always in a black and white box or a black and white Carton and so for me that’s what I see in my mind is when we cancel everything it just becomes generic it it lacks taste or beauty I like that that um kind
Of sense of beauty that is there and so it’s it’s hard work I think to really look at all of these historical times or figures and even if we have that discomfort or frustration with maybe the events that happen to really try to see the good or find the good that maybe I
Am not seeing or or comfortable with uh but certainly you know uh uh critique but also build up and really that’s my frustration with this whole cancel culture or this hermeneutic or this tool of reducing it to such a a simplistic thing it it tends to tear down and it
Lacks the ability to build back up to something um that we all appreciate yeah and that kind of brings me around to my third problem with with the with the woke culture and that it can easily become virtu virtue signaling we’re just by criticizing somebody else we’ve now
Kind of built ourselves up or and in a sense we’ve even exonerated ourselves U from any kind of the the participation in that in that evil and I think that’s very dangerous you know I mean the when you look through the history of the Saints the saints were
The ones who were always most conscious of their sins and uh the first to criticize themselves right uh because of their sinfulness this sort of you know let’s blame that person over there it means I’m kind of free of guilt and I I think you know that’s um that’s
A real problem and I I think instead you know the question I would like to put to people like that is all right yeah I agree so and so was not a perfect person but what have you done today to reduce racial Prejudice what have you done today to decrease
Discrimination yes you know what have you done today you know that’s and and I think you know when this culture of blaming kind of puts that aside and we no longer need to look at ourselves and say well yes but how have I contributed to that and and
How can I make it better yeah and and one of the arguments that I’ve heard from that particular framework of oism or you know the cancel culture and when it comes down to the moral arguments it blames the church for our moral stance well you know we feel uh untolerated or
Judged um you know by you and I I think one of the ways that we can maybe diminish some of that tension or diminish some of that charged kind of anger often times these these conversations end in anger or emotional Outburst from The Franciscan perspective one of the things I love about our
Brotherhood is Francis saw us as a penitential order of Evangelical brothers and to me what that means is you know we’re the biggest sinner in the room but with the help of God’s grace with the help of the holy spirit with embracing our Catholic faith I can
Change I can become the best version of myself and I don’t see the woke culture calling us to something better now they may disagree with our morals and that’s fine but the Catholic tradition really calls us to Greatness to sainthood and hopefully over time you know with maybe
Looking at the church in a different lens they can find those values uh that we preach so uh are you ready for a couple questions from our audience out there sure I I think I am nice well we want to again thank you all for for watching and and following our conversation tonight
Uh where would you like to start brother Mark with some of the questions coming in let’s start with the first one there I okay so it says here many of my relatives uh have embraced this Walt culture and it drives me nuts as We Gather to celebrate Thanksgiving how do
I balance speaking the truth with uh just keeping my mouth shut and being angry the whole time it’s never easy especially when it’s with family you know because and it’s because we care so much about them uh if we didn’t care at all uh you know
We would just let it go and and uh and not even worry about it but uh yeah I understand it’s it’s that’s a difficult uh situation and I don’t know that there’s really an easy answer um for that but I I think um the best advice I
Have is first of all listen yeah you know and make sure that you’re listening not formulating the answer already before the other person stops talking I think listening is always very important and looking for what is true writing what the other person is saying and acknowledging
That um and then then you can disagree with the other parts of it you know and discuss with that not not in anger but just same this is the way I see it you know right yeah no I I think that’s healthy advice and I I feel like we’ve lost the art of
Listening to each other well in the culture so I think there’s a kind of intellectual listening trying to discern what is true and good but there’s also I think an emotional intelligence a listening from the heart and and to kind of in the moment understand slow down your maybe if you’re feeling that
Tension or aggression take a deep breath right have some self-awareness if you know you’re going to start a fight maybe walk away it might be better not to engage in in that and and push your family member further away but if you do have a sense of trust and a healthy
Communication in your family system um you know take a little bit of courage and say okay help me to understand your framework what are you actually saying what do you actually mean what are you actually trying to communicate I I desire to be in relationship with you
And here’s where I’m coming from and and when I hear your that response or when I hear uh what that means to you it it’s somewhat frustrating but that doesn’t scare me away from you and we can have conversations uh tough conversations but at the end of the day still love one
Another still respect one another so really it depends on you know if all of those variables are are there I would say if you’re a novice to some of these things don’t jump right into the deep end uh because most of us as Friars we have training in uh crucial conflicts
And and having those difficult conversations and argumentative conversations of kind of diffusing those tense moments but we make mistakes too um but certainly don’t be ashamed or or avoid the elephant in the room sometimes we need to have as families uh at Thanksgiving tough conversations right
And I’d say also avoid channeling the uh the talking heads on so many of our uh news programs and uh and internet sites and so forth where they demonize people you know everybody who thinks that is is uh either crazy or absolutely evil and um that’s not the way to go about these
These conversations you I think start from the uh point of view that these this person is a good person may be misguided and U maybe has some wrong ideas but basically somebody who’s also seeking the truth and so don’t don’t be channeling do you have any uh any fun
Stories of uh kind of tough conversations happening amongst the Friars or maybe in the Fri and you just have to kind of say okay maybe we’ll we’ll try this another day I remember one uh rather heated uh discussion we had around the issue of poverty at one of our chapters once uh provincial
Chapters and the question was you know how strictly should we interpret this idea of poverty you know and there are some of us who were saying well poverty is is poverty it means it is not having anything you know and so getting rid of as much as you can and living with as
Little as possible and uh you know and that means you know in terms of food and not going for the best foods and not going to the nicest restaurants and and with clothing so in every way we need to you know be serious and literally try to be as poor as
Possible the the other uh and and I say that I I was I was very young and idealistic at that time and that’s the side of the issue I would have fallen on and um but the other side of the issue was look you’ll never be poor we’ll
Never most of us will never really be poor because first of all we have an education that that um a many people aren’t able to have access which gives us chances and opportunities that others don’t have we have uh friends and benefactors who will always stepp in
Ready to help us we never have to worry about not having food on our table not having a roof over our heads that’s never going to be a worry of ours so all of this is putting on a show and it’s going to lead to Pride and uh and so it
It would rather than being a virtue it’s going to end up being a vice and um I have to I mean over time in my life I’ve come to see that there’s a lot of Truth in that yeah no I think that’s that’s wise uh advice and and for me you know
When I’m listening from the heart I try to listen to the value that somebody is is trying to embrace when we have value-based conversations like poverty Chastity obedience or the value of social inequality or the value of truth right we we tend to get engraved or entrenched in the value that we uphold
The most um and you’re not going to change somebody’s mind on what value that they you know are embracing but to me it’s a it’s a better attempt to try to make a friend with the value that they’re holding right and if it’s something true and good that I can get
On board with uh but we don’t always use the correct language of the value that we’re embracing maybe poverty or may it sounded like in that argument in the FR you were embracing a little bit more humility right and so oftentimes there’s there’s a different level of discernment
That we can get along with one another um okay so it looks like we’re getting another question from the chat room do you want to take the second question there yeah so uh this is from John how do we evangelize to our relatives who aren’t Catholic this Thanksgiving okay uh probably not good
To do a baptism at the table you know I think a nacho libbre you know before they go into the into the final match you know he baptizes his uh best friend escaleto but um I I’ve been thinking about that going into you know this Thanksgiving um for me Thanksgiving is a
Matter of just the acknowledgement and the dependency on the action of Grace on the action of God’s work in our culture our Eucharist is uh thanksgiv giving right there’s so many things that we’re dependent on for God right the the air in our lungs the the blood in our veins
Right the light in our eyes and so even if you’re not a religious person I think every uh good willed human being can acknowledge the importance of Thanksgiving so if you are Catholic I would say Don’t Be Afraid or ashamed to pray you know I worked in the military
Not everybody in the military was a religious person but I you know I was often called upon to pray for a very multiculture very uh multi-religious group and I said you know uh I invite you to pray with me I’m going to pray in the Christian tradition the Catholic
Tradition and we’re we’re just going to thank uh God for the blessings uh that we have today right and uh if you’re not from that tradition please pray in your own way right and and so we can use I think um opportunities like that to evangelize or to help people to see the
The the the sacredness of Thanksgiving that’s good but yeah I I think um I agree with all of that and and I’d say also um take a a humility pill uh ahead of time yeah yeah um because you’re not going to convert um your relative uh in
One day um the best way to uh to evangelize uh is is to be a good Christian yeah uh and and to let others see your example is what I believe but it it takes a long time and you may not even see the fruits of it but that
Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and uh so yeah fine it’s good to pray to to not be ashamed or not try to hide the fact that you know here we are Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving is has a reference point I mean it’s we’re giving thanks to someone yeah and so it’s fine to acknowledge
This one that we’re giving thanks to um and I think that’s you know that’s the good a good start but as I said it’s it’s a long slow process you may not ever see the fruits of it yourself and that’s where the humility comes in because you’re planting a seed maybe
That you’ll never see the the fruit of yeah that uh response reminded me of that scene from that funny uh holiday movie uh National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when they want aunt Edna to say the the meal prayer and she’s half deaf and she’s you know elderly and can’t
Understand understand the the the you know the social moment and her husband has to kind of scream in her good ear the blessing the blessing and she gets up and says the national anthem so hopefully Thanksgiving is not uh something that you avoid or fearful of but something that’s enjoyable and
Fun uh for the family so what about uh question three coming in from the text was so many Friars from different cultures how do you decide the menu for Thanksgiving as a community that’s a great great question well um I I suppose there’s a little bit of
Uh cultural hubris here because I mean uh Thanksgiving is such an American uh holiday I I don’t think outside of the Americas I think there’s only one country in the world that celebrates a an actual Thanksgiving and that’s Liberia and they have uh connections historical connections with with the United States so
Um it’s a very very American sort of Celebration and so I think U perhaps we could be forgiven for wanting the American menu for Thanksgiving um which is you know the turkey and the dressing and and for for most people I suppose there’s even differences within America
In a way well I like the way we do it here in Denver each house has a different uh responsibility for different aspect of the menu so brother Augustine is great with the meats the the ham the turkeys our house is pretty good with the sides uh brother Jude does
A great stuffing uh the other friers your house I think they often bring desserts or uh the ordures or the Beverages and so it’s a kind of a team mentality but I’m also happy with the S Malibar Community when they bring over u a birani or some goat Biryani so I’m
Always surprised on what’s going to be on the menu but at the end of the day all the friers love food I think that’s one of our love languages uh and it’s always tasty so I’m I’m definitely looking forward to it yeah and and the question said how do you
Decide and I think the the point is we don’t really decide it just happens so food just shows up and we e it yeah yeah and uh nobody goes home unhappy I don’t think that’s for sure all right maybe we got time for one more question looks
Like we’re approaching uh the end of our session here so I’ll take this one from Emily as friers what are you most thankful for this Thanksgiving great question Emily first of all I’m thankful uh for all of you uh for watching tonight also for our production crew
Behind the scenes a lot of effort and time and and uh sacrifice winning went into making this uh podcast thankful for brother Mark uh but mostly I think I’m thankful for my family my family’s gone through some uh Health uh changes recently I’m thankful for my vocation
I’m thankful for my faith um I’m starting to become more and more thankful for the Denver Broncos but we’ll see how that goes yeah I think so I’m I’m thankful for my vocation on a person level um yeah it’s it’s been a great life and I’m just really thankful
For everything that I’ve received and through my vocation but you Al thankful for my family very good family thankful for the Friars the fraternity the brotherhoods that we have um and I thankful that we live in a country where we live in relative peace and security
Which with so much going on in the world today I think there’s something to be thankful for there yeah thank you for that reminder and we need to keep uh those those folks in our prayers but as we look forward to uh next month what uh
What can we hope to be talking about or what can we share with our viewers that we might be talking about next month so yeah we are we’re happy that you joined us here this evening and uh we hope you come back again next month again this
The third Thursday of December we’ll be back and we’re going to be talking about the title of our episode next month is is Jesus on the naughty list so we’re going to talk a little bit about Christmas and the the um the effort to somewhat get Jesus out of the
Picture okay well I’m looking forward to that and definitely appreciate it everything you brought to our attention tonight I want to just remind everybody to subscribe uh to our content and continue to follow us here at uh at this podcast so and if you if you liked this
Uh podcast this evening you might look into some of our other content as well we have the Good Morning Good People series we have the simple word series which comes out on every Thursday and we also have some videos about our Ministries and about our vocation story
So maybe some of that will interest you as well all right brother Mark God bless you all right thank you brother Christopher good night everybody
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