Day 23 Become Elegant in 30 Days!

All he there Good All right everybody come on in come on in Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate we are so happy that you all are taking some time out of your evening to spend with us welcome to day 23 of our 30-day Elegance boot camp I am Maggie you may know me as Maggie The Substitute Teacher

From my cooking channel where I like to cook sugar free dairy free and glutenfree free not today though y’all I ate some of everything and I am feeling it but I’m having a good time with family uh I’m also um very passionate about helping feminine women attract and

Keep the masculine man of their dreams I’m all about food and femininity Lucy and I have created the finishing school for the Modern Woman it is an eight-week private sorry y’all there a little insect it’s an eight-week privately taught uh virtual Saturday school open to women of all ages we start again in

January so if you’re interested registration is open we would love to teach you if you know anyone who wants to perfect and refine their etiquette elegance and femininity Lucy would you like to introduce yourself it’s funny because my microphones are acting up right now and

Even my my mouth M I can’t get it to work the right way anyway so yes my name is Lucy I have a channel where I basically teach Spanish and some from time to time I post some topics about Elegance femininity and how uh the Western world is

Being robbed out of our um femininity women in the western world have lost that so we’re trying to get back into relearning it or reusing it refreshing it and this is this is where we are and if you hear my dog in the background I started talking and she started crying

It never fails I swear these dogs anyway so yes looking forward to today’s topic absolutely uh Lucy and I both have a Kevin Samuels connection she’s a moderator on his channel I booked the session with him so we um we both were f of the late great Kevin samels and I’m

Just imagining his you know that that sound on his soundboard all right I see you all coming in come on in so what are we doing so the Elegance boot camp is a 30 for 30 uh episode we were planning on doing 30 minutes we have so much

Engagement in the chat and we love it when you all communicate with us so we are reviewing a book called The Ultimate Elegance Guy this is from vivana Bena she is also a content creator her channel is woman of Elegance and I would highly recommend that you all follow her

She is woman of Elegance on all socials uh Facebook Instagram and YouTube so she’s written this book and it is 30 things to start doing to begin your elegance journey and I reached out to her and she’s given us permission to teach from her book so we we cover one

Topic per day if you would like your own copy of the book the link is in the description you you can get it it’s an instant download you can use code Elegance 20 for 20% off the book so you can have your own copy however if you’re

Part of our finishing school we have a very generous sponsor Brandon ljet who has made the book available for all of our students current and future so registration is open go to teachable moments withth maggie.com we start again January 6th all right so I am going to

Bring everybody up to speed as we have been doing with what we have covered if this is your first time here welcome so let’s go through these quickly we are coming down the path all right so this is November 1 through November 30th we started with the outside in make sure

You have a signature style ladies make sure your closet viin calls it a wardrobe make sure your closet is organized make sure your shoes and accessories complement what you’re wearing make sure your makeup and hairy I don’t think for seeing this live presentation you know what yeah I did

Something to my uh streamyard thank you for telling me Lucy I need to click this button okay my apologies everyone thank you I was playing around and what does that button do well now I know all right okay ladies so some of you all have already seen

This but we talked about your signature Style your closet your shoes and accessories your makeup and hair make sure you’re always neat and smelling nice your grooming your posture then we moved into conversation etiquette because how we communicate is a big part of being elegant make sure you listen more than

You speak make sure you think before you talk make sure you speak articulately when you do but don’t share everything ladies an elegant woman has a little bit of mystery to her make sure you watch your body language so you don’t give off any of those those nervous ticks and

Clicks make sure you’re well read so you can be versatile and smart in any environment then we moved on to the dining edette food is a big part of life clearly I like to eat when you dine with others it’s important to know your table manners make sure you use those utensils

Correctly because they do have a purpose make sure when you’re reading when you’re in a restaurant you know how to read the menu and make sure you know the protocol for what happens when you eat out with others we spent a couple days talking about afternoon tea even though

It is a British tradition we have a lot of fun fun with it here in the state so we talked about afternoon tea we are in the relationship section of the El the ultimate Elegance guide we talked about choosing your mate wisely but don’t lose who you are make sure you

Are bringing something to the table ladies yes we do receive but we should also give and yesterday we talked about not acting desperate because again we can’t change them a man is who he he is all right so now let me see if I can bring up vivien’s book and we

Will pick up where we left off all right let’s see if I can do this properly here and make sure I come over to share so you all can see bring that up add uh oh there we go all right so again you all can download your own copy of the book

This is the book The Ultimate Elegance guide this is Vivien and so grateful she’s allowed us to teach from her content the ultimate Elegance guide become elegant in 30 days and Lucy and I always say ladies you’ve never arrived right we can always work on our Elegance

Um but you can get better because you can a you will age but you can age gracefully and uh we are here as older women and in our 40s and 50s to make sure you have the tools all right so before we begin yes we’re up to be

Trustworthy before we begin Lucy would you like to add anything not much I just think that today’s topic is going to bring I hope that it can bring uh some chat in the chat box and good questions as well so looking forward to it absolutely ah goodness I’m rough

Today all right so let us begin let’s see where are we with the uh being trustworthy what does Vivian say excuse me match your words with your actions have integrity and self respect be mature and dependable all right let’s unpack this ladies because she’s saying a lot here match your words with your

Actions now I don’t know sometimes I just feel like I’m aging myself but but I’m sure Lucy would agree there was a time when your words actually meant something your yes meant yes your no meant no um it just seems like it was so simple and now things have gotten so

Complicated espe especially in the relationship space there’s so much game playing and people trying to outthink or outwit or outdo each other and I think it’s really hurt uh how wonderful relationships can be but this is something that will make you stand out and here’s the thing ladies you don’t

Have to explain why it’s a yes or why it’s a no you can just say it’s a no or it’s a yes but make sure if you do say that that you follow through we talked a little bit about this in the dining section when we were talking about RSVPs

But it’s really just when you speak your words and you speak for yourself you’re actually giving a part of who you are you’re representing who you are so your actions should actually follow that so be intentional and I think it goes back to taking some time to think before you

Give an answer and if you’re not prepared to give an answer right now you can say that you can say you know what I don’t want to rush to give an answer let me sleep on it or let me get back to you or when do you need to know and then

Take the time to plan or think or ask or whatever you need to do and then give a solid response that you can stand by I think not only is it elegant but it’s just I think it’s a mature thing to do right it’s it’s young people our kids

Were’re kind of like did you really take the cookies y’all know so be trustworthy have integrity and self-respect yes absolutely that’s a big part of it and then be mature and dependable I know we often talk about uh in relationships because Lucy and I come from a traditional standpoint men are

The ones who lead and we are support system if you choose this type of relationship I am well aware that there are many kinds however even if you aren’t leading in a relationship you should be Dependable you should be a support system if that’s the relationship that you choose to engage

In and the man that you select and that selects you should be able to count on you following through on what you say especially ladies with men they’re not emotional creatures like we are so when they say something or when they ask for something they’re looking for consistent

Patterns that’s one of the ways that they V us without saying anything they’re watching to see how we handle Good Times bad times can we get our emotions in check are we all over the place now again yes you’re going to be a woman you’re going to be

Emotional but let your yes be yes what would you say Lucy okay I’m muted so I’m trying to figure out this my microphone so and another thing with with this it’s who H how I see this is that we want the same thing from our men

We want the same thing uh men to match their words with their actions have integrity and self-respect be mature independable but they we should give that as well so again that’s where the balance in a in a in a relationship comes in because if all you expect is um

The man to match his words with his actions to have integrity and self-respect and be mature and dependable from them but do they ex do they um have the same thing from us so again just have that in your minds because we always again like we’ve said before we

Watch what they do instead of what people say for the most part and when they say something we watch if what they say matches what they do so they are expecting the same thing from us as well and it goes back to consistency are you

Saying yes and it does that yes mean yes or are you saying yes maybe and that that men do not take that well they it’s either a yes or a no we women you know we’re like sailboats we go with the flow but with men you know your word is your

Word and if you say yes I’m gonna be ready by 10 o’cl to go to dinner by 10:30 you better be ready at 10:00 because again it’s this time as well it’s just it gives them the ability to depend on you when whenever he needs

To I love that Lucy said so much there and ladies it’s so true a couple things I want to um share with you we always like to give you tangible tips that you can take um to improve if you mess up own it don’t play any of these games

That women do well you know how I am or you made me or I was this no just stand on your square like the kids say keep that same energy and say you know I I know I said I would be ready I knew you

Were on your way I thought I could get this extra errand in and I was late I’m sorry I should not have done that just own it so really plan and be considerate of their time or their money or whatever it is that they’re giving you because

They don’t have to um but yes be yeah just just I want to say just be a grown-up but that just seems like it’s over oversimplified but yes it’s really important because time is the one thing we spend and none of us are going to get

Back all right so let’s see what you all are saying in the chat and then we will continue on seeing everybody come in hello hello Happy Thanksgiving yes it was great y know family we love them but sometimes it’s a lot but I had a wonderful time hello everybody coming in

Dr Sherry says her dad said your word is all you have and that’s so true I mean ladies I know we live in Modern Age and you know we appreciate technology we’re using technology to bring this Elegance boot camp to you but if you think about relationships that have survived for

Hundreds and thousands of years before you had all of these modern conveniences if someone said yes I will provide for your daughter that man expected him to you know make sure that his daughter was not hungry R and homeless you know destitute on the street it meant

Something so even though in modern times your word still can and should mean something because when you’re with a man you know we believe in marriage or long term you are basically the closest thing to him you have the keys to the kingdom you see everything you know where all

The bodies are buried and so a man is really looking at you like can I trust you if the worst happened and you had to continue on and make sure the family and you know where the safe is and you know all of that stuff right that we don’t

Want to think about are you trustworthy that he can clear his mind he be worrying about you doing all this other stuff and you are a woman of your word and uh I I think it’s mature and I think it’s very attractive hello Happy Thanksgiving everyone Rodney says what’s

Good for the goose is good for the gander a Shucks all right I don’t know if that’s Thanksgiving or talking about being honest uh Rodney says life love and time are a form of mutual respect and exchange yeah absolutely hello Linda we have students in the chat being trustworthy takes time yes

Ladies so even if you are an honest person a trustworthy person and you know yourself but that other man who’s vetting you he doesn’t know you and so expect it to take time expect him to to test you expect him to wait and see that

Who you showed up as is who you actually carry yourself out as I I do consults outside of here I do one-on ones and especially ladies who are attractive and who have had the leverage in dating where they’re calling the shots where they’re shooting men down where they’re

Saying no okay you did this I don’t like it on to the next one they really struggle in relationships because relationships are very different and a man is going to move at the pace that he wants to move he’s not going to let you say yeah yeah I know uhhuh but I’m good

And I’m ready oh you’re ready okay let’s go I got a job for you to do let’s see how you do that’s how masculine men move and so you need to be ready to follow through with who you say you are all right so let’s see what else Vivian says uh

Oh there we go be mature and dependable don’t toy with a man’s emotions yeah that’s a game you don’t want to play be serious-minded and keep the frivolities out frivolities yeah frivolous right stick to one romantic relationship at a time I love this I absolutely love this ladies I understand that the modern

Way of dating especially those of y’all that are on these apps I talked to a lady the other day who has hundreds I’m physically exhausted even thinking about that I don’t think it’s normal in the sense that we weren’t built to have to remember all these nuances of multiple people at one time

Especially as women we’re built differently and we form connections and that’s the reason why I know yesterday we talked about intimacy and you know there’s no judgment here do what you do but I think it’s very unnatural for a woman to have a rotation you can argue

With me all you want to but I think ultimately You’re Gonna Want Somebody more once you’ve given so much of yourself you’re going to try and Patch something together so I really like that so stick to one romantic relationship at a time ladies I think when you’re dating

And for me and from me the purpose of dating is to see if there is a match for marriage or longterm I don’t really see I understand that people believe in casual but if I know I want a relationship it would be a waste of time for me to entertain anything casual

Because I’m going to be looking for something that’s never going to be there I really think when you’re dating somebody and you’re really being vetted and he’s vetting he’s vetting you and you’re really considering him you should give it your best effort you should have your full attention and then make a

Decision exclusive to this man you shouldn’t be comparing man I know we’re we’re all competing and I get that but when you’re actually in relationship with someone I’m not talking about a coffee date but I’m talking about when you’re really in a relationship trying to spend too many plates I think it gets

Women in trouble because you forget things you mess things up and then you’re not really fully present you’re just kind of there and then you miss things and then you’re kind of monkey branching from one to the other so what I would say make a decision if this is

The man that you want to um be in relationship with date him exclusiv exclusively hopefully it has a happy ending but if it doesn’t we’ve talked about ways that you can exit with Grace like Lucy said take time to heal clear things out and then try again but um I

Also think that just shows up as much more mature and trustworthy than having a lot of stuff going on at the same time what would you say Lucy so I need to have them both on okay hold on let me okay so I gotta have them both on so

It’s a tough one um to relate to on this this uh topic the the this section about sticking to one romantic relationship at a time I think that the view about dating with intention takes care of having that roster of I don’t know men uh waiting on

The sideline for when things do not work so I I think that what Maggie said when you decide to date someone it’s got to be exclusive from the beginning I know that men do it differently we’re not men women are designed differently you have been told a lie by these Western you know

Um visions and beliefs that women can do things especially when it comes to the sexual value market that you can do it like men it’s impossible we are not wired that way you can think and believe that you can do it but from what I have

Seen that the result of that is women crying getting online crying because they don’t find a man that will accept them with all the baggage that they bring so I think that making the decision that you’re going to date exclusive ly from the get-go I think it will get it will keep

You away from all that trouble that you can get when you tell your potential uh person that’s interested with you well you’re not the only one I have two or three on the sideline you know just in case it’s just not it’s not ladylike it’s just it’s it’s not

Feminine it’s not elegant and it’s just it it just you shouldn’t even think about having it because once you decide that this man is the one that’s going to be taking most of your time you shouldn’t have time for anybody else no I completely agree and I I try

And give some tangible tips to you ladies I mean Lucy and I have shared we both married young and first marriages end in ended in divorce after 10 11 12 years and now we’re in our second relationships married and uh longterm so ladies if you didn’t get this type of

Teaching and you were told that you should just use men for dates for experiences for food for taking you out on the town you know all of that is wrong you know I’m a boy mom and so I feel very passionate about men being treated you know with respect uh I

Always have but I’m even more passionate about it now but ladies you can say so and here’s one thing that I want to say don’t let someone else’s Behavior dictate your behavior for example in this uh section we’re talking about being trustworthy you can easily say I understand you may be seeing other

People but I really like to devote my full attention to getting to know you know whoever I’m dating so I’m I’m not dating anybody else as long as I’m seeing you you can say that and to me that kind of commands a little bit of like wow okay she’s really taking this

Seriously again we can’t change man but you can ask you know now again not in the beginning when you’re just having coffee or whatnot but if this is like becoming a relationship or he’s established a relationship I think these are the conversations that need to be

Said in the beginning so you’re not in that kind of like are we are we not I think it’s confident you can be confident and stay very feminine but you can just say you know for me I only date one person at a time so before like if a

Man asks you to be his lady before we move on you know how do you see relationships what does relationship relationship look like to you you can ask these open-ended questions and allow him to answer and then that’s part of you getting the information that you

Need to make the best decision and not that you’re frazzled here and there and uh if he says that you know I haven’t really decided yet and you want to continue to see him because you see him as husband material or long-term material you can say I understand that I

Know you know ultimately it’s your decision but I’m not seeing anybody else so there are ways that you can absolutely show up as what uh Vivien said as serious-minded she says um be serious-minded and keep the F frivolities out if I’m saying that correctly but yes ladies even in the

Past if you did the foodie dates or you had a rotation or whatever I wouldn’t even bring that up I’m not saying to lie if someone asks you a direct question you can give a direct answer and still be discreet could say something like you know I didn’t really take relation I

Didn’t really take dating um seriously in the past but I realize now that you know for me anybody that I date moving forward I see them as husband material so I’m going to treat it as such you know you can say things like that that have that show that you’ve evolved and

You’re ready to take this uh seriously and ladies that kind of weeds out the men that don’t have good intentions because they know they’re already dealing with a woman who’s um a serious candidate or at least that’s how she carries herself right she’s not here for the foolishness let’s see what you all

Are saying in the chat uh Rodney says men are always leery of situational ethics when dating men want emotional and moral consistency I love that emphasis on the consistency but yeah those situational ethics ladies you really have to know who you are what your standards are what your boundaries

Are what you will and won’t do what you will and won’t tolerate irrespective of any man in the picture you know I am who I am I was the same I mean I’ve gotten better I’ve refined but I was the same Maggie in my marriage I’m the same like

The core of who I am does not change and if God forbid I found myself single again pray never but you know I would still be the same Maggie in any relationship cuz I know who I am so yeah that’s situational you know I I’ll act right

For this guy but for this guy I can just use him because he doesn’t matter ladies that reputation will get you in a lot of trouble Rodney says living in the moment is essential for long-term relationships leading to marriage and I think you should be really present I think it’s um

Also a sign of respect you know put the phone down stop entertaining all that I mean delete the apps if you’ve got a good one give him your full attention all those other distractions will be there believe me what do you say about that Lucy yeah the the modern dating scene is

A little um strange for me it’s it’s it’s it’s hard to see young women um take their their their bodies and their emotional situation for granted in their 20s and then you see them moving in their 30s and 40s in a more of a desperate time trying to find

That right man when they could have taken it slowly on their 20s making sure that you give your you give yourself time to get to know that right man and dating him for a while I’m telling you by the third or fourth date you would know if that man is of character you

Will know and he will tell you whether he wants to move forward into a more serious relationship this thing about um dating two or three guys at a time even though you’re dating them you’re not doing anything serious that’s not for me that’s not the way to do it if you dat

Man the first time first date second date third date is not giving you that um it’s you it’s not making you think that this man could be uh someone that you could be with in the future I think you could put that aside you can say you

Know it’s it was a great friendship you know where this is not what I’m looking for and and you ended that way I don’t see how as a woman you can have calendar filled with this date one date two date three date four it’s not it’s not feasible it’s not sustainable and it’s

Not mentally healthy for a woman to do dating that way I agree with you I see a question in the chat we’ll answer in just a second I’ll give you all a little bit of a story time are we okay on time Lucy okay so a friend of mine um is a

Hair stylist and she’s single but she has a fellow she’s like a barber and stylist so she works with a lot of men in a barber shop and she has a fellow like co-worker I guess like a a barber friend that they are not together but they

Flirt at work openly for everyone to see meaning sometimes she’s sitting in his lap you know when he comes in or she comes in she runs up she gives him air kisses like they just do all of this flirting stuff and she was like oh it’s innocent we’re not

Together and I told her I said but don’t you think that’s going to confuse men who see you acting this way with another man who’s not yours who has told you he’s not interested he just sees you as a friend or a sister or whatever he said

And you continue to carry yourself that way ladies we show up different when we don’t have a man in our life and I think it’s a good thing because and I don’t really get into the energy stuff but I think you do kind of show up single and

Available but when you have a roster when you have multiple men that you’re talking to whether you realize it or not you kind of have this air about you that’s just kind of like oh it’s fine if he doesn’t call me I got my friend I got

My guy I got whatever we’ll go out I’ll do whatever so this friend of mine uh was filling in at another barber shop and I can’t remember if she saw somebody that she liked or someone had mentioned that she was attractive or whatnot and another Barbara was like oh yeah that’s

So ando’s girl and she was like oh no no we’re not together we just work together and what exactly I told her happened the community saw you as giving your time and attention ion and your little flirty things that are wonderful I love doing it but save that for the man who really

Claims you and when you waste that even things that you think are innocent when you waste that you know public displays of affection and all that stuff and no you’re not intimate and know you’re not doing all this stuff but ladies remember we said men are always watching and if

They see you sitting in another man’s lap they’re going to be like okay she’s spoken for and on the inside your screaming signal signal your screaming single you want somebody to um you know to to call you their own but you haven’t made space for that so ladies really

Watch it if marriage and family is important to you any what did Kevin used to call them beta male orbiters or whatnot I’m not telling you you’ve got to cut off your best childhood friend but I would argue if they’re really your friend they would understand hey I’m

Going to have to fall back for a while 2024 is going to be my year I’m not going to go through another um holiday season single everybody is out here with their family and you go home to be with yours and I’m just sitting here so I

Just I just wanted to share that ladies because a lot of times you carry yourself in a way and then you’re like why don’t men approach okay Lo miji says do you think a man 20 years older can trust a young lady in her 20s so there’s so much to this question

Well first of all 20 years is quite the Gap it is doable but um I think it would have to be in a very particular way for example um because my oldest is you know most likely going to go to the military let’s say there’s a man who uh right after

High school went to the military and did his 20 years and he traveled the world and he didn’t want to get married or have a family uh because he knew he was going to be Here There and Everywhere so let’s say he retired now he’s like 38

3940 and he wants a wife that’s in her early 20s so he can now be home have multiple children he approaches her father or you know her family members to show his intention and he moves like a man that really wants to protect and provide and call her his own that can

Work I think that’s rare but it can work but do I think a man 20 years older can trust trust in what way I’m not sure if I understand the question but I will say this ladies when you’re in your 20s and we’ve talked about this this is when you

Are in your Prime for the marketplace for selection I would say use those powers for good and not evil and fortunately unfortunately what you’re seeing today is a lot of women in their 20s who are just like Oh I’m a queen I’m this I’m that and they’re racking up

These bodies and racking up these experiences you will age and you will get to a point where you’re not prime candidate anymore you’re going to be way past the wall so hopefully you have prioritized found a you know been found by a good man be a good woman to him and

Get on down the path so I’m not sure if I’m understanding the context of the question but um it could be a yes or a no so I know that’s vague how would you answer that one Lucy what did you interpret it to mean yeah I think what he the way I

Think the um he’s asking is can let’s say a 45 year old man date a a woman in her 25 a 25y old woman um it it all depends you know what is her family life like uh you know look at the parents what’s the is there any age Gap in the

Parents the mom and dad what examples does she have that will have her act um in a respectful manner to somebody that is 20 years older than she is I think there’s a that’s that’s a really big gap for for me I got to tell you um a a man

In his 40s he’s already been F he’s you already have your goals a a a a young lady in her 20s she’s just starting she’s just um so I don’t know I think that that the Gap is is it’s pretty big um are there relationship gaps um that

Are 15 years older that have that have been successful yes but I think that the success rate is lower when the Gap is is that wide yeah so hopefully that helps Loi you can clarify if you would like uh Rodney says it appears that women have more emotional energy all day while men

Have more physical excuse me physical energy but both must be focused on exclusive in our Behavior towards each other I agree I mean if marriage and family is the goal and I keep saying that ladies I and gentlemen I realize that there are many kinds of relationships out there and not

Everybody wants marriage and relationships so I always say with a caveat that’s what we are talking about here now Seline says until you find someone you really connect with it’s fine to date multip people but that doesn’t mean you have to have casual relationships with any of them that’s an

Option again I would I don’t know if I would disagree and look I’ve been in a longterm relationship so I haven’t dated but when I do date or did date I would still focus on what if I don’t see I can’t imagine myself dating multiple men that are all husband

Material like yeah that so that that’s I struggle with that it would be a no for me but I I respect I respect the perspective Rodney says in my opinion dating intentionally will ATT attract a certain T um type of man or woman I agree because again Ladies If you say

These are my standards and and a man approaches you and he’s like yeah you know what don’t really think I’m interested in relationship but it was such a pleasure to meet you there’s nothing wrong with that and you know what will happen he will leave and talk

To someone else be like you know what that one right there yeah don’t step to her unless you’re serious because she told me from day one this is what she’s looking for I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that I think it will attract the right caliber of people that

That’s what I would say uh Seline says I like coffee and a nice walk in the park yeah there’s lots of different ways to to have a first date the one above all says I believe most women do not know if they’re called to be married or single this is a good one

Yeah I’m really processing that I’m struggling on this one because I knew but I was raised to be a wife I come from a traditional family so for me it’s odd to be an older woman and not married this whole I’m I’m just going to say it

And I may offend some people and I don’t mean to but I find it very strange that older women are proud to be alone I know it happens but the way that we were raised it’s almost like there was something wrong if you didn’t settle down and you were like this whole like

Boss thing I would say like first world I don’t I don’t get it what would you how would you uh respond to that Lucy yeah I don’t think that the Western world is giving examples of what it is to be um in a good marriage or a

Marriageable woman I think all they see is um women can do whatever they want and when they decide that life gets tough in the marriage they can bail out um and there are different um benefits that they get once they decide to bail out so I think the modern world is going

Through a crisis right now because we see all these older women that have either decided not to marry or decided to divorce thinking that they’re going to get something better once they divorce the man that that they were bored with and they’re finding themselves in a really tough spot uh

Because the world for a woman alone is tough especially when you get older so I think that we need to as a society need to start uh bringing back the beauty of a long-term relationship long-term marriage what it does for both what it does for society what it does for family

What it does for the community and unfortunately that’s not what we’re seeing um happening right now it seems like you know we are on a you know on our way to destruction and um and I don’t know if he can bring back those traditional uh values or traditional perspectives of wanting to

Have that relationship from beginning to end of life yeah I agree with you thank you so much for this one the one above all I would just say and I don’t disagree with you I would just say ladies and we’ve talked about this before love is really

A decision so I would just say you know I don’t know if it’s called to be married or single with this being said I know marriage isn’t for everyone I know parenting is not for everyone I get it but I would just say ladies it is a

Decision that you need to make and and I would say make it sooner than later CU what I’m seeing and what most of us are seeing is women who started down One path either because they were sold a lie or thought oh yeah I’ll take care of

That thing later and kept kicking down kicking the can down the road then they get to these 30s and 40s and their hair is on fire and they’re panicking so if you have anything in you that wants marriage and family prioritize it because it does take work I think that’s

Another thing have to be difficult but I think that’s another thing a lot of a lot of modern women Miss they think it’s just going to happen it’s just going to fall into your lap no you have to work on it I have to work on it every day I

Think it’s beautiful and this time of year you know especially I was talking to my man earlier you know with both of us have kids in the teenage years almost up and out and it’s just like man the holidays are going to be really quiet when they’re gone thank God but you know

Use this time to really self-reflect ladies and if you’re happy God God bless you I mean and I mean that honestly just make sure you can you know keep it all the way to 65 all right so the last thing that viven says after stick to one romantic

Relationship at a time remember that insecurity shouldn’t push you into having multiple men at a time yeah we’ve talked a lot about that I just don’t think we’re built for it I don’t think it helps with this being said ladies you absolutely should be social right you

Shouldn’t stay at home this could be I’m making it up Church groups volunteering sororities uh fraternities uh work events networking take up a an activity Pottery travel cooking whatever it is you definitely want to mingle with people okay so please don’t confuse this is specific about having more than one

Romantic relationship but I think that network is really important because people people who talk anyway shout out to my friend who got mistaken for being in a relationship when she was just flirting and she thought it was innocent so you know people are already talking about you shout out to Bonnie R give

Them something good to talk about give them something to talk about that’s going to help you make your goals um let’s see what else you all are saying porceline says modern dating is disastrous I don’t disagree Rodney says men view respect as a sign of Love they sure do ladies signs

Of disrespect turn men off and causes them to move away from women yeah and ladies you’re not going to have too many times to um take a lap around that mountain after you know once twice that’s just who you are Circle back to what I said earlier about owning your

Mistakes and taking that feedback and if he says look I made plans so we could go to The Cheesecake Factory or whatever it is at a certain time and you are not ready own that and don’t try to you know wiggle your way out of it Seline says sometimes I feel as

Though modern Avenue of dating apps can give you an overload yeah I mean I understand there’s dating apps I’m not a huge fan of them and I know I sound outdated here but if you are going to do the dating apps like we heard Kevin say

Do them in addition to being out in the real world okay this thing where you just stay all day and you’re scrolling and swiping I don’t think that’s normal you need to be out you need to talk to people and then your network you know I would let people know you know I’m

Currently on the market I’m looking for this type of relationship if you know anyone please make an introduction there’s nothing wrong with that you know do the dating apps too if you must but I wouldn’t say I would say don’t do that exclusively what would you say to that

Lucy yes and I hear that um unfortunately the newer generation has very um underwhelming social skills and I think that social media and uh technology has kept them in a world where you really don’t have to interact oneon-one look at you know verbal cues look at phas cues look at just it’s so

Good to have a coffee with somebody that you don’t know expecting that you’re going to make it maybe uh make new friends go out there without any expectations and if it works great and if not then you earned a new friend but you need to get out there and learn

How to flirt how to take you know give that look of interest just I don’t know for men to appreciate you as the woman that you are but you need to get out there and network and go into different places volunteering is a great opportunity to meet a person that has

Your same values go to places that are wholesome to go to clubs to go to drinking no go to places where you can meet a person on you know their own uh complete faculties uh no no more distraction and that’s those places here in the United States we’re so lucky to

Have them because you can go anywhere and meet the right person if you have the um appropriate perspective and and you look at uh meeting people as something beautiful to do something great to do I love that shout out to the extroverts but I love that coming from

Lucy but ladies it is important you know I’ve Shar I’m 47 I’ll be 48 Wednesday you know Lucy has shared that she’s 57 but especially if you want to date older men or even if they’re not older masculine men men who have made themselves have had to be able to

Communicate their goals to whoever they are you know this is who they are so you’re really going to struggle ladies if you’re not if you haven’t sharpened that skill and it is a skill and then you’re just out here dating for fun and then you really meet someone who’s like

A man on a on his purpose and who has a plan he is going to be very direct he’s not going to mince words with you he will pick up the phone and call you and he would say I would like to see you are you available like it’s not difficult

But if you look like a deer in the headlights because you haven’t practiced this skill another reason why wasting your time dating other you know types of men it just doesn’t help you I love that especially if you take time to only date the caliber of men that you could see

Developing into a relationship even if it doesn’t work out like Lucy says it makes you better in the end you can exit with Grace okay I’m so sorry it wasn’t a match for me but I wish you all of the best but at least you have practiced those relationship skills you know how

To have a conversation you know how to mingle at his social groups you know how to interact you know if he brought you home for the holidays or whatnot so many women think it’s just okay I put on this dress and I look amazing but you can’t

Speak you can’t um you know have a conversation you can’t relax and have fun you’re always checking yourself to make sure your picture perfect when people really just want to get to know who you are you got to be able to roll with the punches and be um comfortable

In your own skin so yes the dating apps are there but you will find yourself you know lost and confused if you can’t have uh a conversation with a man and and they’re different they’re they’re amazing but they’re they’re different ladies they get right to it we got Haley

Well saying hi you’re so pretty Lucy is pretty she’s beautiful thank you for for the compliments Rodney says men are simple human beings absolutely you means two not only one it’s both of us stop it okay well thank you thank you kindly for the compliment let me show you all how

To graciously accept a compliment thank you that’s very nice of you to say uh good evening Mr he said SOI says good point Miss Maggie I forgot it already but I’m glad it’s helpful Rodney says things or behavior that are refusing to men make us run yes ladies the way men think they’re

Very logical you can think it’s mean you can think it’s oh you were so short with me but men operate like they don’t have a lot of time to waste especially when it’s a man who’s on his purpose because you know again like Kevin Samuel said we

Really don’t take the time to know and understand men the reason why they need those 10 years to kind of eat you know what and just kind of become the man that they are men develop later it takes them time believe me as a mom to two teenage boys y’all after Thanksgiving

Today like why do they have to wrestle why do you have to like play like ah and ah like ah and then you’re laughing like why do you have to do that sounds like two Wilder beasts upstairs but that’s who they are so men spend a lot of time

In the early years ladies when you’re shooting them down and calling them lame and calling them stupid and all of that but then something happens they wake up one day and they’re like okay you know what put the the boyish things behind now I’m going out here to slay the

Dragons and if you have not been prepared on how to come alongside with a man that that has a plan and can communicate what that is and says I need a woman to do this this and this and you’re like all right ready let’s go if

You’re just you know kind of like uh you get left behind and they will find someone who is ready so just it is what it is ladies SOI says presentation creates perception oh how we show up right about U how we date or you’re nodding Lucy

What would you say to this one that was the your Barber Shop friend how she was presenting herself and then it created the perception to everybody else that she was in a committed relationship yes ladies so just you know all of the guy friends and all that stuff that you have

Just really think about how it makes you look from the outside looking in okay don’t be so shortsighted to just say oh I just love his hugs he just gives these Great Big Bear Hugs okay but those big bear hugs are not yours they don’t

Belong to you you don’t belong to him so keep that in mind yeah and I wouldn’t be surprised that she has something feelings towards that person and she was trying to just put it off as it’s it’s really nothing uh so I because we women

Do not show at least not me I will not show affection to a man that I really don’t care for so I’m thinking that that was her coping mechanism I think in a way kind of like haha we’re playing but you know if it happens it happens you are absolutely right man

Lucy’s got such a good intuition you’re spot on she wanted more but here’s the thing and we’ve talked about this ladies he said I see you as a sister so he’s flat out told you not in a mean way and again ladies it doesn’t make them a bad

Person but you have to really slow down and listen to men he’s being nice and telling you oh I’m flattered but I don’t see you in that same way so once a man has told you that and then you continue to do all these things he’s kind of like

Well I told her I was honest they’re not going to say oh no no no no um they’re going to continue to allow you to give of yourself I mean it’s just human nature you know let let’s not put it all on the men but you’re absolutely

Right uh she wanted more he told her there wasn’t more and instead of saying okay lesson learn I need to find someone that does see me as you know a woman and not like you know just a family member she continued to do all this flirtatious

Behavior and now other men and I think the bar shop could be a great ladies you know I’m not a Matchmaker but I think the barber shop could be a great where um way not to meet men but to network because I’m just thinking about The Barbers who have how many clients who

Come in 10 or more a day so they’re they’re talking to to men that you know are in all kinds of different fields because that’s something we all have in common right you all everybody needs to get a haircut or some type of grooming or whatnot and if you show up as single

And available fit feminine friendly all of that it won’t take long especially you’re a woman in a barber shop you’re G to stand out but you want to stand out for the right reasons and someone might be like hey what’s up with so and so imagine how that could have been

Different like yeah she’s a good one but you know she’s she’s waiting for something serious but yeah she’s yeah man that one right there she’s a good one as opposed to oh that’s so and so’s girl onto the game onto the whatnot so yeah absolutely thank you so much for

That Seline is fine with the age Gap dating I hear you I I hear you you know it works for a lot of people Rodney says maturity is always an issue between two individuals with significant age gaps I’ll just say this I mean my ex-husband was seven years older than me my current

Man is um we’re in the same age but it took him a while to get here because men need that time and I had to allow him that time so I know there’s different kind of relationships but just sharing okay I understand you guys have some comments let’s see if there’s any

Questions in here work from home wife says you have a 10year age Gap yeah I have seen you know I have heard of lots of different things Rodney says is marriage a calling again I’m trying to answer for my own I wouldn’t say

H and I hate to give those yes and no it depends but I think there’s a part of it that’s naturally in you I think it’s two components you know what they say nature and nurture right I think the nature part of us I think people can say what

They want to but I think it is normal and natural to not want to do this thing called life alone I think that it is normal and natural for a woman to want a man and a man to want a woman maybe in different points of their life and in

For different reasons but I think there is something in us that does feel like something is missing when we don’t have that one that’s the first thing that’s the nature part the nurture part of it I think you can be raised to be a wife or raised to appreciate marriage and family

Or you can be raised to be like girl go get that back you know the men will come or forget these men or whatnot so I don’t know if I would say it’s a calling I think it has two components but I do believe it’s a decision what would you say

Lucy yeah I’m not I’m not sure if if um if I understand the definition of calling um but I do think that you either make a decision to be one with one person with all the good the bad the ugly the uneventful um or you don’t so I think

It’s more of a choice than a calling I agree we got Uncle Stu in the House Uncle Stu the old man on the Block forgive me y’all please check him out also a content creator actually did my first interview with Uncle Stu he says Happy Thanksgiving to both of you young

Mothers and Ladies of Elegance thank you and Dr Sherry says based on your research in your dissertation wow those older women are lying due to Pride yeah what do we say we make the bed and we sleep in it that’s true so I just tell

This is what I tell the women that I consult with whether it’s your friends or your mothers or your aunties or whatnot the women even me that are giving you advice look at the relationships that they have and if it is the relationship that you would like

To have consider the source ladies we got a lot of what did Kevin Samuel say single women keeping women’s single Rodney says good social skills require meaningful one-on-one human interaction absolutely there’s no way there is no way to bypass that you have to talk to people and be easy on

Yourself that’s why I say volunteering or being these in these social groups where you already have something in common because you’re doing something that you are interested in is a great start boy and you know what it and it’s funny because believe it or not if a man

Has has asked you to go on a date with him he already likes you so as a woman all you need to be is feminine show your feminine side be beautiful be the beautiful woman that you are and and then things will move along or they will

Not but you just have to get out there I agree so we’ve covered everything that Vivien said uh the one above all says a man who’s mission-minded and in his person purpose will Will Not Waste his time with uncertainty and someone who’s messy I love that so ladies yeah you have time

But I would say use that time wisely because a lot of women get B blindsided because they meet a man and he just blows past them because he’s ready and like my man said you got to be ready right now like they’re not here to try

And train you and so what they just do is they move on and then you’re like but but but no cuz he was ready and you still thought we were playing games and it is not a game to men they take this very seriously Lely says Happy Thanksgiving we got killis watching in

The house lely’s husband is older acting like an old man old married couple 26 and 27 I love it yes y’all got a lot of names for me and Lucy I think uh killis yesterday said eventually we’ll turn into the old couple you may know us as

Maggie and Lucy Lam and Shirley shout out to zoom to Thailand he calls us salt and pepper y’all call us Maggie Lou Kid and Play there’s so many yeah 30-year age Gap married absolutely all right yeah marriage is a choice I agree and look life is a choice

All right I mean what you do in life we are just here for those ladies who are interested in marriage and long term and maybe didn’t get this teaching we are here so we have courses we have um I do individual coaching the uh finishing school for the Modern Woman is our

Flagship we start again in January um there was a post I made about a Black Friday special if you ladies are interested you can use Code Black Friday all one word for a very special discount all right I think that’s it so um are we live tomorrow Lucy

Or well I don’t know I I mean we can have one live and then okay do the rest okay because someone committed herself to 30 days 30 minutes 30 days but they have a cruise to go to for what is it seven days what a life seven days five

Days so yes you all just to be very transparent with you all I got this idea that we would do this 30 for 30 and here we are on day 23 so we will be back tomorrow for our standard let me check the time 900 p.m. Eastern 6:00 p.m.

Pacific live but just so you all know we are going to have to pre-record some for the last week of November um if you all have been rocking with me on my channel you know we’re doing a Maggie Meetup cruise and we’re actually flying out uh Monday some of y’all are flying

Out Sunday so it’ll be me it’ll be AV it’ll be the lead attorney it’ll be uh several other Scholars so I’m going to be in the Bahamas but of course I will be um making content for you all and going live when I can I got the internet package but I didn’t know

How this was going to uh play out so um we will pre-record some but I will still be in the chat Lucy and I will be in the chat to engage with you all uh so if you want to catch the lives you have um maybe just maybe today and SU day we’ll

Figure it out ah K says we got to talk to people Maggie dog G it I know uh L miji says what can we use the code for it’s 50% off the uh courses and um consults with me so the code is Black Friday the link is in the

Description all right five days we going to the Bahamas while flying out from Orlando yes Lucy has jokes yes we’re gonna have an amazing aming time so we are planning I’ll go ahead and announce it here so uh some of y’all don’t want to cruise and that’s totally fine but we are planning

Um a Meetup next April um we’re going to have our graduation party for our students so those who are interested in the finishing school you will get your digital certificates but we have another generous sponsor who’s going to provide plaques and Lucy and I are planning on

Covering the um dinner for our uh finishing school graduates um but we’re also planning a meet up for everybody else if you want to come to Atlanta and have um you know dinner and drinks and just have a good time we’re planning that as well oh yeah the Bahamas looks beautiful

I don’t know stari and Hut is that another is that another name for us yes I think they were cops weren’t they did they have it was like in the I want to say either 80s starski and Hutch I’ve heard yeah anyway I gotta get going gotta cook dinner for the husband all

Right everybody we will see you all tomorrow thank you all so much for being here we enjoy doing these with you tell a friend and until next time enjoy your evening and happy thanks everyone

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