Alrighty so we are picking up we’re in chapter three more about alcoholism page 32 second paragraph from the top starts with a man of 30 make sure everybody can get there and I don’t know David do you want to set up or just sort of give the
Context of where where we were and where we’re going yeah absolutely that’s I’m David I’m a recovered alcoholic drug addict so here we are chapter 3 more about alcoholism and as we learned from page 30 of our book that we learned that that we that we learned that we fully
Consider an interal self that we’re alcoholics this is the first step in recovery the delusion that we are like other people present or presently maybe has to be smashed so here we are in this chapter we’re going to see four stories three of them are real some myre and one
Of them is okay realish okay so let me just set up the first story here and what we we’re going to look for we’ll point it out when we’re in the middle of the story the first one here here is David pointed out page 32 second paragraph we’re going to be talking
About the man of 30 so when we’re doing that what I want to look for is where is the LIE where’s the delusion and where is the insanity and we’ll point that out and then also when where is the decision and the action that he took we’ll point
That out and then also the outcome will point that out so just a kind of set that par this uh page up or this little paragraph up here the man of 30 was an Ambi it was ambitious in business and remain bone dry for 25 years only to Die
Four years uh after he started drinking uh this story is probably adapted from the chapter First Steps in the book The Common Sense of drinking by Richard Peabody so it’s a separate book Al together Bill probably got the story from that because Bill read this story
And if you get the book again it’s the common sense of drinking by Richard Peabody Rob is just too good he’s got it in the chat already there’s one story on page 37 that speaks of a man 36 years old that had been drinking for 16 years and another story on page
123 regarding a man who gave up drinking to make millions of dollars neither of these actually match the story in the big book the story on page 123 is the one that most closely matches the story in our book the big discrepancy in the story is the amount of sobriety this man
Had the big book speaks of 25 years sobriety in the others State he had five years sober some years ago there lived a man who decided to give up drinking until he could make a million dollar at which time he intended to drink in moderation it took him five years of
Sobriety to make that F that million then he begins his moderate drinking in quotations in in three years he lost his money and another three he died of alcoholism so that’s the setup for that paragraph or these next following paragraphs of the man of 30 okay thank you so here we
Go paragraph two page 32 a man of 30 was doing a great deal of spree drinking he was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor he was ambitious to succeed in business but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at all once he
Started he had no control whatever he made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired he would not touch another drop an exceptional man he remained bone dry for 25 years and retired at the age of 55 after a successful and happy business
Career then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men out came his carpet slippers and a bottle in two months he was in a hospital puzzled and humiliated he tried to regulate his
Drinking for a while making several trips to the hospital meantime then Gathering all his forces he attempted to stop alog together and found he could not every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal every attempt failed though a robust man at retirement
He went to Pieces quickly and was dead within four years I only have one single definition here which is robust and it’s described as sturdy and strong so though a sturdy and strong man retired or at retirement he went to Pieces quickly and was found and was dead within four
Years thank you Sam yeah so this story again this man of 30 we don’t have a name for this guy so but later in the stories we’ll see Jim the car salesman we’ll see Fred the accountant and then we’ll hear the story of the jaywalker um and those two uh gentlemen will bookend
The jaywalker so kn on the on the man of 30 uh was doing a great deal of spree drinking he was very nervous so Dr silkworth would describe that as irritable restless and discontent right in and in the morning and then it says so as I pointed out to you I’m going to
Go through this rather quickly but I want to point out to you you know where the light the delusion the insanity the decision the action is and then what the outcome is in this paragraph so uh he was ambitious to succeed in business so he had a good
Drive for work but saw that he would uh get nowhere if he drank so he could see the truth in that he knew that alcohol was a problem for him and once he said started he had no control whatsoever no control whatsoever he knew the truth but let’s see what happens
With him he made up his mind so he made a decision that until he he had been successful in business and had retired he would not touch another drop an exceptional man he remained bone dry for 25 years and retired at the age of 55 so
Think about what that looks like if I am an Al I am a raising alcoholic who has some ability to on my own power to be able to stop and he stops for 25 years am I going to be irritable restless and discontent well my experience tells me
Absolutely I am so Cameron F uses the word sedy instead of sobriety sedy just a dry drunk and maybe we know some people like that that just was able to give up my dad did that when my my mom had a uh uh some kind of a brain injury
And he made a deal with the devil and he stopped drinking for the rest of his life for 25 years he was irritable as all heck complained about everything that’s just sedy and then uh points out his go down towards the bottom of the paragraph
There it says uh the outcome or or so let me point out the truth here first the first truth in the book is in that paragraph is once he started he had no control whatsoever that’s the truth right you guys identify with that and then and then as we go through this here
He made up his mind so he that not the body but he made up his mind then then he fell the victim to belief that particularly every alcoholic has here comes the lie that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men
That is a lie that is the delusion I am not like other people I can never drink socially again that’ll never happen and we’re going to find out a little bit more about a uh what happens with a cucumber and a pickle in the next paragraph but I won’t spoil that yet so
Then here um then here comes the decision in the action out came his carpet slippers an he bottle and in two months he was in the hospital so we would call that a hospital or a rehab today puzzled and humiliated he tried to regulate his drinking for a while making
Several trips back to the rehab back to the uh to the hospital and then Gathering all his forces what are forces that’s willpower I’m My Own willpower attempted to stop allog together and found he could not that is the truth I could not stop on my own Willow every
Means of solving his problems which money could buy was at his disposal what is money money is also human Aid money cannot buy spiritual conditioning I could be the richest man in the world but if I’m suffering from alcoholism I will not be able to stop on all the
Money in the world on human Aid I’m beyond human Aid and every attempt failed though robust so he’s in good shape at retirement he went to pieace as quickly and was dead within four years that’s the outcome that’s what happens to us when we start to drink after 25
Years five years six months three months it doesn’t matter what it is but here’s a guy who was able to take a Hiatus for 25 entire years and he started right where he left off and was four years he was dead the outcome of that would have
Been the same if he would have continued to drinking when he started when he when he left off 25 years prior this case contains a powerful lesson most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch we could therefore drink normally but here’s a man who at 55
Years found he was just where he had left off at 30 we have seen the truth demonstrated again and again once an alcoholic always an alcoholic commencing to drink after a period of sobriety we’re in a short time as bad as ever if we’re planning to stop drinking
There must be no reservation of any kind nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol I have a couple definitions here um I have lurking notion and immune um lurking is defined as secret or hidden notion is an idea and then immune is exempt from punishment protected against a
Disease um so in the sentence if you’re planning to stop drinking there must be no reservation of any kind nor any secret or hidden idea that someday we will be protected against this disease or alcohol thanks Sam so before David sort of continues you know explaining the
Story here and the considerations in it I just want to take the opportunity to do one of the exercises we love doing as we go through the book so this paragraph is filled with a lot of statements let’s take the opportunity as we look to personalize the content and turn these statements into
Questions so says most of us have believed that if we remain sober for a long stretch we could therefore drink normally I’d ask myself at this point in my recovery do I believe that if I remain sober for a long time eventually I can drink normally or does that have
Idea have to be smashed right so do I think if I stop drinking for a while and then I start again will I be able to control it or are we going to have the same experience as this guy am I going to pick up right
Back where I started and in Frank L if you were anything like me if you had some periods where you were able to to stop which I had lots of periods I stopped the problem was I we started again when I started again I didn’t pick
Up right back where I left off it was always increased it was always magnified it was like my obsession was trying to make up for lost time and how about this truth do I believe this once I’m an alcoholic am I always an alcoholic do I outgrow my Al
Alcoholism right if I’m if I’m dry long enough if I’m sober long enough hell if I’m recovered long enough am I no longer alcoholic am I cured and how about this when I was planning to stop drinking or if you’re new and you’re still asking yourself this
Consideration do I want to stop drinking is the first question do I want to plan to stop drinking do I have any reservations of any kind and this might be tricky Sam to find the right definition of reservation maybe see if you can find that right do I have any
Reservations do I am I holding on to any lurking Notions that someday I’m going to become immune to alcohol one of the things I love best about how Bill writes is he comes up with really important ideas and then he bludgeons us about the head over and over to make sure these
Thoughts and these con conepts are really beaten into us because we’re thickheaded and if if you listen to how I was I don’t know how good of a job I did but as I was trying to take these statements of retive internment questions he’s asking the same thing
Over and over it’s do I believe I’m an alcoholic now and will always be an alcoholic he’s not saying do I believe I’m going to drink again we have a whole room full of Alcoholics and addicts that don’t ever have to drink or drug again
Right but he wants to make sure I’m not hold holding on to something just one day maybe I when I used to go to a treatment Setter years ago and I lived in the city at this bridge group meeting I remember I was talking to this guy and
He was holding on to this reservation we’re talking about hey man this is quitting drinking for good and all this is the whole idea planning to stop drinking he said you mean I can never have another drink I said well why would you want to drink you drink what about
When my daughter gets married I can’t have a glass of champagne guess how old his daughter was at the time he said this two two-year-old infant daughter he was worried about having a glass of champagne when she got married in what 20 30 years right he was still in the
Insanity he was still in the obsession go ahead David so the starts out that paragraph it says this contains a powerful lesson so something I need to pay attention to see when we read this book for me when I see stories in the back of the book or in bill story or
Fred story or the man of 30 or gym story whatever it is did I drink think or feel like that person and that’s where the powerful lesson come from yes I drank just like him I had abstinence from alcohol and I have a I have just as big
A problem with abstinence as I do with alcohol you know because I become irritable restless discontented so able to say we had stretches of sobriety I had stretches of sobriety for myself for external purposes only to get her off my mama off my back to get my job back to
Pay the bills and stuff like that but I always went back to the drink not why not because I chose to because I have no power no choice no control so I’m going to use my uh demonstration here and my example of once an alcoholic always an
Alcoholic matter of fact tonight I had cucumbers with my dinner and if I would have taken those cucumbers tonight and I would have put them in brine they would have turned into a pickle and if I would have turned that P put that pickle on
The shelf and let it dry out a little bit how soon would that turn back into a cucumber oh never once a c once a pickle always a pickle and I’m always going to be an alcoholic and a drug addict for the rest of my life and I have to remember remind
Myself that quite often and the way I do that for me is I get on my knees every day and I ask God to keep me clean and sober and direct my thinking and then I have to perform the action in the 12 steps and alcoholic synonymous bottom of
That paragraph it says we are planning if we are planning to stop drinking so that must be a plan of action when I ask someone else to take me through this work that for me is an action there must be No Reservations of any kind no lurking notion that someday will be
Immune to alcohol and David’s example is beautiful I love that the guy’s daughter two years old right I mean gez isn’t that alcoholic thinking for sure it’s like oh my goodness you’re selling this program and God putting limits on God and putting limits on what this program
Can do for you if you just if give your whole self to this thing and I had a guy who I was sponsoring uh he’ve been sponsoring for over 20 years now he’s still sober today I remember the first week I I sponsor him he said this is
Like in April I believe it was in August his wife was going to go out of town on a business trip he goes I think in August I’m probably gonna drink again I go dude you’re gonna trip on that threshold on the way out the door and
You’re gonna drink tonight with that you can’t have a reservation it’s like come on it’s it’s like I got all I got and I was talking to one of my guys today it’s like he was thinking about drinking I said so right now where you at right now
Like where are you at in how are you feeling right now after conversation dat In This Moment how are you feeling he goes well I feel better I go how about this moment how about this moment dude this is a moment get on your knees ask
God to keep you clean as sober call your sponsor call someone in the program have a meeting set up for yourself it’s like dude I got to be willing to go to any links I can’t have any R reservation whatsoever I have the definition of reservations it’s defend a limiting condition or limitation
Give us that in the sentence then can you like you us do if we are planning to stop drinking there must be no limitations of any kind nor any secret hidden ideas that we will someday be protected against this disease that’s thank you Sam guys think about what is being said here the
Setup the the the condition the ask is if we are planning to stop drinking I think we don’t need to look up the definition of stop I think we all know what that means it’s like we don’t do it anymore if we are planning to stop drinking not if we’re planning to stop
Drinking today not that I’m going to plan to stop drinking a day at a time this is not Don’t drink don’t drug don’t act out in whatever my addiction is one day at a time no no no we live life one day at a time we plan to stop drinking to stop drugging
Forever This is the conceit without limitations without well I will stop drinking unless this happens well unless what happens unless we get cancer our good buddy Eddie had cancer in his kidney cancer in his BL ladder he had been sober a year and a half did he
Consider drinking he did not he had the kidney removed and he had the bladder surgery and he went through it with God and Grace in this program and all of us and I bet a lot of other people here have seen that in their in friends in recovery too what are the conditions
What are the limits well what if I lose my job or what if I lose my wife or my husband what if I I get sick or what if someone I care about dies well what if what if what if it’s the most remedial Concept in the world is starting to
Drink or drug again going to make that situation any better of course not why would we hold on to something so foolish right and no lurking notion no secret idea that someday we will be immune to alcohol I would rather good assume I don’t have this
Immunity I’d rather get to my grave and get to heaven and meet the gatekeeper there he says oh you you know what you were cured at some point you could have been drinking and doing coke the last 30 years I would rather be told that once
I’m dead then to take that chance now and find out I can’t and by the way because I’m spiritually fit and I’m saved and protected by God having a drink having a drug doesn’t even sound like a good time that’s living neutral that’s safe and protected
That’s the goal that my life is not about oh I don’t drink or I drink it’s about purposeful meaningful useful living outside of self there so in the 12 and 12 in the in Step seven on page 73 prob caught robbed by offg guard on
That one I bet yeah he’s probably got it he’s got it yeah so second full paragraph it says when we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powless over alcohol we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief saying well thank God that’s over I never have to go through that
Again conceding and learning to my innermost self that I’m a real alcoholic means I don’t have to have a reservation here thank God that’s over why number one first part of the first step says I’m powerless over alcohol cocaine heroin whatever my drug of no choices
But the second part is my life is unmanageable I have fired myself from my management position I am no longer running my life on my own free will that is my problem and now I I have conceited to learn in my innermost self that I’m a
Real alcoholic and on my power I will not be be successful at any of this stuff first of all I’m impressed that David took us to the 12 and 12 my man just to continue that thought just because he you there I just got to continue the thought because it’s it’s
Appr propo as well when we finally admitted without reservation that we’re powerless over alcohol we’re apt to breath a great s of relief saying well thank God that’s over I’ll never have to go through that again I’ll never have to drink again then we learn off to our
Consternation that this is only the first Milestone on the new road we were walking still goated by sheer necessity necessity we reluctantly come to grips with those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in the first place there’s more going on here than
The drink or the drug or The Cutting or the eating or the whatever guys carrying on we’re at page 33 second paragraph young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that they can stop as he did on their own willpower we doubt if many of them can
Do it because because none will really want to stop and hardly one of them because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired will find he can win out several of our crowd men of 30 or less have been drinking only a few years but they found themselves as
Helpless as those who’d been drinking 20 years and we’ve we’ve got some representation of that tonight we got Sam and Ashton still in their like early mid 20s Heather is I think 37 but she’s been banging around here for 15 years right some of us lose all control quite
Early yeah alcohol and drugs if you’re a real addict does not discriminate I’ve sponsored guys that have been 14 years old and I’ve sponsored guys have been 80 years old it doesn’t matter man or woman or whatever your proper pronoun is doesn’t matter and then it says in there that peculiar
Mental twist right in the middle of that paragraph that’s the obs of the mind that’s what we’re talking about here that is the greater problem this this illness here it’s not when I abstain from alcohol I cannot break out and craving but I have this obsessive mind
You know and and remember what an obsession is without my thought without my consent well what it is a thought an obsession is a thought so a thought is different a little bit different than an obsession a thought happens I can do something with that thought as a matter
Of fact one of my guys is on here tonight he had a thought he got it he didn’t pray even though he’s going to do it next time right buddy pray first then call your sponsor call somebody else then have a meeting set up and all
These other things so that was a thought but if it was an obsession override all my good thinking sounds just like me in my head tells me to go for tells me eff it whatever it tells me to do I believe that delusion that I can drink like a normal person or
I just say eff it or I don’t think anything at all sometimes I don’t think anything at all so what was what were you thinking two minutes before you pick up a drink that’s what I got to know and today he didn’t have to and I got to
Do that I gotta be willing to go to any links all day long no matter what age I am what color I am what what sexual orientation I am does not matter whatsoever that peculiar mental twist gets removed by a power grader myself not by me turn these statements into
Questions do I think I can stop on my own willpower as the man of 30 did um have I already acquired The Peculiar mental twist do I have the obsession have I found myself if I’m young again maybe like a Sam or an Ashton I found myself as
Helpless as those who’d been drinking 20 years all of these statements turn them into questions qualify myself to be Gravely affected one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have this is particularly true of women potential female alcoholics often
Turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years certain drinkers who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics are astonished at their inability to stop we who are familiar with the symptoms see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere but try and get them to see
It and then there’s a little footnote and I’m sure everybody’s going to have a different footnote based on the addition and the printing mine says true when this book was first published but in 2004 so almost 20 years ago US Canada membership survey showed about one ninth of AAS were 30 and under
And this is 20 years ago so I did oh sorry I’ll let you go Sam okay I just have one quick definition um it’s uh the word is gely and it is described as deathly so to be deathly affected one does not necessarily have to drink a long time
Nor take the quantities some of us had and then also I just thought it was a fun little thing it said um in the footnote here in the first edition it read feminine instead of potential female alcoholics I just thought that was kind of cool okay it’s an important
Distinction especially go go ahead ason please I just had a few comments I wanted to make um so I kind of want to comment on the fact that it says how like it tends to be that women kind of have a higher chance of becoming alcoholics quicker than men and that’s
Typically because of how as women how they um like alcohol affects them Stronger Just because of their body is a lot different than men like we’re smaller um physiologically like decreased muscle and everything which is why typically it tends to be that women have a higher effect to becoming alcoholics
Sooner um and then I did want to mention so I started trying to do some more research search um past few days about the percentage of I apparently threw out my note card that had it but um going through the AA websites if I remember correctly for
2021 the last data that they did for people younger than 30 I think the percentage was 11% that was um documented but I was also looking at the National Institute of alcohol abuse and alcoholism website and from um this was 2021 as well 900,000 people were surveyed from
The age of 12 to 17 and 3.4% of them were diagnosed with alcoholism and then another interesting fact again this was a 2021 study this was um like over 15 million people that they took data from and alcohol causes 14% of deaths among 20 to 36 year
Olds thank you Ashton yeah if you’re new in addition to being our sort of uh medical testimonial and dictionary person a Ash’s job is uh as an ICU nurse and so she has got um some good perspective uh both as what she sees and experiences last week she was regaling
Us with having witness people in the ICU drinking things like hand sanitizer trying to catch a buzz firsthand go ahead David yeah I don’t have a lot to add to this other than I was having a conversation with Sam David had a party over the weekend A bunch of
Us came over we were sitting there sharing about women and drinking and being young in drinking and I remember her sharing this story with me she I don’t know if this really happened to you or if you heard another person say this to a younger female in the
Fellowship but an old grouchy guy with about 30 or 40 Years of sobriety looked over at her and says there looked at he says I probably spill more alcohol in my tie than you ever Drank in your life that does not qualify to be more of an
Alcoholic don’t say that kind of stuff I I I grew up in AA like that you know where guys wouldn’t let me even talk in meetings sometimes it’s not true it’s not true at all if I break out in craving once I take a drink or I have
This and I have an obsession mind obsessive mind then I’m an alcoholic period doesn’t matter if I don’t drink as much as you drink or I don’t do as much dope as you do that has nothing to do with B fire and we can go to when we
Get to page 44 we’ll take peek at that then that’s all I got there David thank you okay we’re going to continue on top of 34 as we look back we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our willpower if anyone questions whether
He’s entered this dangerous area let him try leaving liquor alone for one year if he’s a real alcoholic and very far Advanced is a scant chance of success in the early days of our drinking we occasionally remain sober for a year or more becoming serious drinkers again
Later though you may be able to stop for a considerable period you may yet be a potential alcoholic we think few to whom this book will appeal can stay dry anything like a year some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions most of them within a few
Weeks so first uh before the comma as we look back so we’re talking about the first 100 there and then we skip the the the rest of that sentence and go to if anyone questions what whether he has entered this dangerous area let him try liquor alone for leaving liquor alone
For one year this is the mental Obsession tests so on page 31 bottom of page 31 and 32 was the allergy test you know to have a couple drinks at the same time every day um and see if you can just do that for 30 days here’s the
Obsession try to this is the one I prefer you try if you got to try something other than than totally like surrendering to the fact that you’re real alcoholic ADM to your uh innermost self try leaving liquor alone for one year I don’t want to be your spouse when
You’re doing that but good luck with that or your employer I don’t think that’s gon to look too pretty but try and give it a chance but like they kind of break it down how it’s going to work out for you we think few will uh we down
The bottom of the paragraph we think few to whom this book will appeal can stay dry anything anything like year some will be drunk a day after making this resolution how many people make New Year’s resolutions and you break it dude I made a resolution after David’s party
I wasn’t going to eat sugar anymore two days I’m eating sugar the other night I had to have sugar man I just dude I just and and I did it in moderation I don’t I’m I I don’t have an Overeaters problem yet today but I do have a drink and drug
Problem right you know so I can do some things in moderation but when it comes to this paragraph here this is the obsession test can you leave it alone for an entire year I I don’t have any data on this it might be available somewhere but I’ll
Encourage everybody this go to a meeting every day the week after New Year’s and and and note how how full they are I’ve been experiencing this for 20 years there always a whole lot of people whole lot of new faces that week after New Year’s and all of a sudden they will
Start lightening back up second and third week into January lot of resolutions right but a lot of people coming into meetings and some of them don’t need to be there again maybe they’re hard drinkers they just been getting in a little bit of trouble going through a bad patch but there’s a whole
Lot of real alcoholics and real addicts coming to our meetings that aren’t getting the right message either right so when you have that experience in that first week go talk to those sick looking people and is good so again ask yourself these questions did I go on drinking many
Years beyond the point that I could quit on my own willpower was that my experience did I have that thought and sensation right that I ever try leaving liquor alone for a year I mean David was sort of making light of that there was there I wasn’t dry off everything for I
I don’t know more than a couple days at a shot I could stop drinking no problem but I was picking up the cocaine I could stop the cocaine no problem but I was picking up the Ecstasy I can stop the Ecstasy no problem I was picking up the
Weed there was always something had to have something bone dry is probably measured in hours maybe days if I was lucky right so as a real alcoholic am I a real alcoholic am I very far Advanced am I going to have a scant chance of success to just drop it and just go
Dry all right let’s continue on for those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop all together we’re assuming of course the reader desires to stop ask the question as I’m reading this as I’m studying do I want to stop whether such a person can quit Upon A non-spiritual
Basis depends upon the extent to which he’s already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not let me read this again I want I want these words to sink in so somebody is in the position that they cannot drink moderately figure they got to stop assuming they want to
Stop whether such a person can quit qu drinking Upon A non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he’s already lost the power to choose whether he’ll drink or not many of us felt we had plenty of character there was a tremendous urge to cease forever yet we found it
Impossible this is is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it the utter inability to leave it alone no matter how great the necessity or wish Sam anything no okay so I just want to make sure this is a really I mean everything’s important right but this is
A really pivotal paragraph here and I want to make sure we’re not getting lost in any of the language so let me just sort of modernize it and simplify it a little bit here it’s saying okay if I can’t if I can’t control and moderate my
Drinking then the question is how do I stop and the assumption is that I do want to stop and that’s different for different people at different times of they’re drinking there’s probably a number of people here who came to AA or whatever your fellowship is early maybe
Banged around for a few weeks a few months went back out and came back a decade later and then you got it right so there’s a point at which I got to decide yeah I want to stop and then here’s the big consideration okay so I do want to stop
Can I just do it with willpower or do I need what this book is talking about for 174 Pages do I need a spiritual experience a spiritual path A Spiritual Awakening to stop and the answer to whether or not I know if I’m going to need a spiritual
Solution is can I choose whether or not I drink and really this paragraph is a setup it’s a setup to prove that really I can’t choose if I’m this far from the doctor’s opinion plus 34 44 pages in and I’m still reading I probably lost choice in
Drink and then what what say what it goes on to say men of us felt we have plenty of character that means we thought we were good people we thought we were capable of making good decisions we thought that we knew right from wrong and we understood okay this drinking
Thing is getting out of control so I should use how it was raised by my parents everything I learned in school to be able to stop okay but those things are are are not spiritual in nature right that’s knowledge that’s uh nurture there was a tremendous urge to
Cease forever so I really want to stop my life is such a mess yet we found it impossible I try to stop forever but I keep drinking this is the baffling feature of alcoholism this utter inability to leave it alone David brought it up right this we’re we’re thick in the mental
Obsession here the greater part of the illness the greater part of the powerless powerlessness component of the illness the utter the complete inability I completely and unable to leave the alcohol alone no matter how great the necessity or wish or Consequences in the face of consequences when I am not recovered I pick
Up yeah this paragraph answers a lot of questions why I drink when I don’t want to so also it’s talking about there K whether such a person quit Upon A non-spiritual basis so we’re talking about a mality too here we’re talking about in aity is an illness a sickness a
Disorder condition now the spirit was not ill the condition means that I was in conflict or disordered condition with the spirit the spiritual mality is a result of my being out of order with my higher power who I uh who choose to call God I I’m the manager the director of my life
How’s that going for for you that’s the question I got to ask myself here break that paragraph down how are you doing managing your own life on your own power can you stop drinking on your own power how are you doing managing your own life on your own power what is a director
We’ll find out later in the book a person who’s in charge of an activity department or an organization I’m not doing so well with that stuff there this malady me being out of order with the spirit of the world is God my Creator whatever it is
Is the reason I need him in my life I I need to find a we’ll get into that as we get into uh chapter 4 we agnostics we’ll talk he’ll elaborate on that greatly the whole chapter is devot to that but this is the paragraph is really
Showing me why do I drink even when I don’t want to drink because of the malady because of the obsession and because of the craving bottom of 34 how then shall we help our readers determine to their own satisfaction whether they’re one of us the experiment of quitting for a
Period of time will be helpful but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity so we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking for obviously this is the Crux of the problem I have some definitions here
Please um I have render which is described as translate to furnish for consideration in action um so translate I mean is one kind of definition and then to furnish for consideration or action um this experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful but we
Think we can translate an even greater service to the alcoholic to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity and fraternity is just men of the same class profession or interest not the fraternity that we know today um fraternities and then also I have the definition of Crux which is anything
Very puzzling or difficult to explain um so we shall describe some of the mental states that predes a relapse into drinking for obviously this is um the difficult diff this is difficult to explain part of the problem thanks s so go ahead dud okay so when I look at
This thing the first sentence there says how then shall we help our readers determine to their own satisfaction whether they’re one of us so I think they he explaining a little bit more in detail here this is a really hard book for me to read especially new coming into Alcoholics Anonymous Cocaine
Anonymous da whatever a you’re in this is a book that’s a textbook it’s meant to be read and studied so and preferably with someone that has some knowledge of this book and I’ve done tens of thousands of hours I study with Howard on Sunday and Kathy and then
I’ve done when I’m in my truck for years I I listen to um to uh Joe Hawk and uh listen to all these guys that just were so versed in the book it just attracted me to it so I have a better understanding what do nature of this
These looks like and also the hope that comes with to uh complete the feat because that’s what I need to have and then um it says on the next page on top of 35 so we uh so we shall describe some of the mental states that proceed the
Relapse in the drinking for obviously there’s a CR of the problem so the root of the problem is self we’re going to find that out later in the book on page 63 but let’s find out more as we keep reading here so they describe the state that precedes a relapse into
Drinking yeah let’s just look at a little bit of the language here a bit more too so important the first the first sentence here is and this is our duty too as we’re working with somebody new who’s who’s just showing up you know in a room of
Recovery how do we help a newcomer determine to their own satisfaction whether they’re one of us right so the book was written to the experience of the first 100 or so this is their experience their 12-step call to us here’s what here’s what how we suffered
And here’s how we got better and then you decide if you’re like us right but the qualification has to come from me right it’s it’s my program recovery it’s my internal problem it’s going to be my internal solution that I’m going to court you can’t tell me and by the way when
When when I first came in I’m sure when each of you first came in how open were we for somebody else to tell us we had a problem not terribly right I’ve got to come to this conclusion on my own and then it goes on to say listen you could try this idea
You could try this experiment quitting for a period of time and that might be helpful but we we want to spare you that we’re going to share our experience of what we’ve learned and that hopefully is going to help not only the newcomers but also maybe the medical fraternity the
Medical Brotherhood it’s sort of an oldfashioned way of saying it you know saying it’s a little bit of the old boys club they would use a different word this day for sure they’d probably say the medical community right sort of non-gender so we’re going to help explain what it looks like right
Before people pick up again before they relapse into drinking because starting again is the most difficult part of the problem like we’ve said this so many times tonight the greater part of the powerlessness is the mental powerlessness where we pick up the physical guys I still have the allergic
Reaction but it never gets activated because I don’t put anything in my body to trigger it I have to worry about the physical powerlessness the mental powerlessness is a little something different I got to keep that at Bay by staying spiritually fit that’s why it’s a greater part of the
Puzzle so what sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats Time After Time the desperate experiment of the first drink friends who have reasoned with him after a spree which have brought him to the point of divorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon yeeha Saloon why does
He of what is he thinking did he think at all or did he think at all what were you thinking two M what were you feeling what were you thinking two minutes before you picked up the drink and in my case I wasn’t thinking nothing at all I had no power
No choice no control so if I go if you hang out of the page 35 and go back to page 23 with the um where we started this paragraph on page 25 first paragraph these observation would be academic appointment if our friend never took the first drink thereby setting the
Terrible psycle emotion here’s the point therefore the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind rather than his body need to know that and the main problem Center is in my mind and not my body so what was I thinking two minutes before I picked up that drink or
That drug in my case I wasn’t thinking at all so I have no mental defense against that first one so what sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time that desperate experiment of the first ring so Bill’s Used experiment a couple times in a row you know when when he
Repeats words he he’s trying to make a point or or smash home some some concept so this kind of thinking doesn’t occasionally occur to us it doesn’t influence us a little bit it dominates our thinking right and then we repeat Time After Time After Time After Time the desperate experiment of the first
Drink why is that the desperate experiment of the first drink because we’re trying over and over with the Hope on a Prayer on a thread on a wish that I’m going to have the first drink and at this time I’m going to be okay that maybe I’ll have the second and
Maybe I’ll have the third but I’m not going to have the 22nd or the 23rd right and then friends have reason with us be like David you can’t keep doing this you’re killing yourself you’re gonna lose your job you’re gonna lose all of us we can’t be around you when you’re
Doing this and I’m like yeah you’re right you’re right I know I gotta stop I you I got to get responsible and then they watch me go back into the bar or pick up the phone and call the dealer why do I do it ask yourself why
Do I do it what am I thinking and David asked the right question was he even thinking if you were anything like me you had periods of blackout is a particular meeting in the alcoholic Community right but I would have dry blackouts dry thinking blackouts where I’d be Stone over dry
Not a thing in my body it could be Tuesday night and had enough money in in the bank account to pay rent on Friday and someone called me on Tuesday and said hey man I got an extra eight ball do you want it and I was in the car cash
In hand to the dealers picked up back home and it’s like I I was wasn’t even there for the journey right money spent GNA gonna float a check on Friday for the rent no thinking at all pure autopilot and with that we’re a couple minutes shy
At the top of the hour but we should stop because we’re going to get into Jim story I agree
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