This video is your Guide to rediscovering the beauty of authentic interactions through heartwarming Stories the vice of these fantastic gentlemen and definitely the advice that we’re going to get from the chats and actionable tips will explore how to break through barriers Foster understanding and create moments that leave a lasting impact moreover for
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Authentic connections so if you’re ready to shift from fleeting to feeling from mundane to memorable this video holds the answers go ahead don’t forget again subscribe hit the notification Bell and share it with someone that you know love and care about now that said did you know various Studies
Have highlighted the rising issue of social isolation and loneliness in today’s society a study by siga in 2020 for example found that loneliness was prevalent among adults in the United States with many reporting feeling isolated secondly surveys and research have shown that people value authentic authenticity in their relationships and
Interactions they seek honesty and genuine connections rather than superficial encounters so gentlemen I want to start you off with the first question of the night and that question is survey please what drives a widespread desire for deeper connections I I think oh my B go
Ahead um now my apology uh no so for for me when I when I think about it right uh uh widespread or not when we talk about the desire for a deeper connection uh deeper connections today I think it’s just our innate hum Humanity right it’s
Just a part of our makeup I believe to want to connect right um now we might have different opinions based upon you know upbringings or experience of how those connections ought to look right but I think we all long for deeper connections whether it’s a Brotherhood a Sisterhood uh intimate relationship uh
Family bonds but I think internally we all wired to want to connect to one another or to like-minded people I can um I I want piggy back off that I I agree with that I think that you know when we come in into this world one of the first thing that we’re done
Is we’re placed in someone’s arms and you know for a large portion of the first you know few days and weeks and months we are cuddled up with someone else and I think that along with that we naturally are social creatures we’re social beings we want to be around other
People naturally so I think that you know with the rise of of I’m just going to say the internet and social media and how the world has become a lot more open I think that because things are more open and we can reach out and touch so many different people we are
Missing um what we are to our core and we are looking for that you know I think that you know for me I’m still looking for that I have that I have a lot of deep connections with people but I’m for me it’s like dopamine in a sense
It’s like I want more of it like I look forward to coming here on Friday like me and Coach had a great conversation this week I had a great conversation with Dr Easley today and I had a great conversation with Eric Johnson and tellers and Dre you know what I mean I
Hung out with my boy this morning and at breakfast like I love interacting with people who are likeminded and I think that we all want to be liked in a sense so when we get to have a deep connection and share things with people we like
People we respect and that feeling is um returned and those things are returned and reciprocated by both parties I think we want more of that you know and I think that a lot of times we see what goes on on social media in our lives and
Stuff like that and I think like I said we innately want to have that deeper connection I think it’s just who we are some people when it says what drives it I would say what drives it is we spend a lot of time at work
Being Mr DWI Mr Gaddy Mr whomever it is and then we go other places and we brother this person and brother that person we got to put on various hats so we have a necessity to find somebody that I can just be me I don’t have to be
All you know tied up and nice and clean and this that another I can just be straight up honest and be myself because there it’s a no judgment Zone where I understand that if I pour my heart out I’m not about to get uh uh bashed because I’m feeling a certain way
Or experiencing a certain thing but I come to tell you this so that okay you can help because most of the time when you get around people like that those people don’t have to think like you but they actually think and those people you respect their judgment you respect their
Ability to say call you out on your bull crap whereas when you at work and you got that certain to you missed the such and such or if you out doing whatever it’s like you want to hold that esteem but so I think that’s what drives it our
Ability to be uh honest open and have that dialogue respecting other person’s views and whatever they say not that that’s what will change your mind but they they can make you think about whatever you’re thinking yeah I love it and uh before we go into further let me welcome our
Brother Mr Christopher mclen to the stage um because I don’t want to just have him sitting that Idol brother if you’re ready you can respond but you can sit this out if you want to but forget all that how you doing I am well I am well I am
Well that’s good toar I yeah yeah I’m good I’m good all right all right good that’s important do do you want to chime in or do you want to wait till the next one come around what drives the widespread desire for deeper connections today nature nature always wins we are
Supposed to be around each other we are supposed to be we I I say this all the time man we need each other a whole lot more the mainstream media will lay it out man and it’s and and it’s not a I can do this and you can do that thing it
Is a nature thing and n and here’s the funny thing about nature it doesn’t care what you are who you are what religion you’re at it doesn’t care about anything nature just is it is always right you can’t fight it and I think that’s what that I think that’s
What we’re doing right now we’re trying to fight nature and the more we try to fight nature the more nature shows us that we need each other so it’s just it’s a nature thing man this is us yeah I’m I’m agreeing I’m I’m loving every one of these responses um because
Um I believe that to be the case as well I believe that we are intricately wired for connection um we thrive in the space where we have harmonious relationships um I think that’s what makes this time of season so different than many others right um because this season is all
About togetherness the season is all about coming together and you know eating dinner and you know sharing you know spending time with family and things of that nature um and hopefully you know we don’t have a extremely dysfunctional family because every family is dysfunctional but at the end
Of the day this is kind of like what that looks like and I think within the confines of that like we enjoy being around people um to where we can relax and I want to kind of go back to that where we can relax where we can let our
Hair let our hair down where we can laugh and joke and you know go through the roller coaster of emotions that exist um which involve this thing we call human nature so to Chris’s point I agree I think that’s just our core makeup we we are designed to be
Interconnected beings with one another that’s why everything that you need in life is not found within you you’re going to have to connect with other people you’re going to have to build relationships you’re going to have to collaborate with others um and I think it’s African proverb to say if you want
To go um if you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go far go together right and that is so true when it comes down to who we are we are designed to create relationships however Roland you brought up a point about you know you go to work
You got to put on that tie you know what I’m saying you got to look good you gotta talk your best you you got to sit up you got to sit erect you have to speak perfect English so in other words what I’m hearing you say and I want to I
Need you to confirm or deny um what I’m hearing you say is that in most cases in a of these settings we’re not really being our authentic selves you know what I’mma be real I would agree because a lot of times when you first around people you show them
You show them the the like I said man you show them the dude from the human resources department you show them your best s that way they can accept you or you can feel like you like you don’t send the dude from the mail room who
Don’t really care and who is really who you are so I agree with you I agree with it sometimes sometimes there’s a cold switching thing that happens you know first of all I’ve been both in the mid room and in the HR office so I take slight offense uh I
Care now I’m joking I’m joking no but uh happy Friday to you too toam but but I I think there’s a there’s a a sense of reality that comes with the switch right and and I know for us we call it code switching right in our community uh but I think there’s a
Necessity for the switch when it comes to uh the making a living part but it’s because in part uh that loss of community that everyone’s alluring to a little bit in their responses right because I need to be able to sustain without needing to call Chris for help
Without needing to call because because Chris might be good at at fixing Shing shingles but when my roof go bad I’m not gonna call Chris because I’m not gonna embarrass myself by asking him to help me fix my shingles I’m just gonna I gotta be able to pay for the roof guy
You know what I’m saying like there’s all we have we hustle and we bustle so our jobs have become more of a necessity than our connections so those code that code switching that switching that HR guy is important in order for me to maintain this and Elevate this because
If I stay on this job for more than 10 years and I don’t promote you know the people in the community that I don’t even talk to are going to think that I’m a loser right so it it’s a it’s a lot that we just mentally deal with that comes along with
That and so when you do find some people that you connect with you know the reason why a lot of us look forward to getting on here on Friday and having a conversation with each other is because I’m tired of being that dude I’m tired I’m tired of every conversation I have
Is a conversation that that is based upon me keeping my job that’s based upon me being able to feed my kids and it’s just the part of the part of the life we live today so I understand work I understand code switching I also am open to the
Thought that sometimes it’s okay well it’s more like we we’re human you know there’s more than just this version of me there are different versions of me you know what I mean I don’t think that I’m necessarily putting on airs at work there are certain behaviors and certain
Things that are expected of you at work that may not be in different settings you know what I mean so at work I’m there to do a job I’m not there to be your friend or anything like that you know I mean depend on the job that you
Have or whatever like that so I think sometimes it I think it is code switching but I think that we do that all the time you know the conversation that we have on this platform may be different than the conversation that we can have on a different platform where
You know more language may be tolerated or you know the setting is different I don’t think that we’re necessarily putting on errors I just think think that we have to be able to adjust to the setting that we’re in sometimes and I don’t think that there’s anything per say you know negative about
That I just think that you know we have to you know we have to adapt and if we want to have certain relationships with people then sometimes not that we have to put our best foot forward but if relationship is valuable and we have to respect that our what every everything
That we say may not be right and everything that they say may not be right so if you go in it with respect I don’t know man I I don’t want to spend it off too much man but I think at the end of the day it’s okay to be different
In different settings way I am with my wife is now how I am if I’m walking down the street with Coach you know how I am in church hope not you know what I’m saying so how I how I am at church might not be how I am at school because
Environment is different the setting is different the behaviors and expectations of each individual and their behavior is different we go to the club you know I can have a little bit more loose behavior and it’s totally acceptable so um I used the term code switching for
Lack of a better term um so I apologize if I derailed the conversation that’s that’s number one um number two Uncle Junior you’re had is amazing and I want one got you I do I want one um and it ain’t gonna match your be like it does
His black matches everything um but when I think when I think of um when I think of cold switching I think of you not being authentically yourself during the times that you can’t be and then going to a atmosphere where you are where you are like I know some of the ghettoest
Doctors in the world you understand what I’m saying like I I I literally know dentist that will drink you under the table and still go to work and do a root canal you understand authentically them though like it might I know how I’m not you know I
Don’t drink all the time I know how to behave right that’s why I said that’s why I said I used it for lack of a better term you know what I’m saying I I kind of meant when I when I meant I think that was a great term but what I
Meant by it was it’s it’s it’s at the point where you get comfort and can and the HR dude ain’t always there and the you know I’m say dude from theep out every now and then you understand what I’m saying that’s kind of how I’m
That’s kind of what I meant by it I mean so so to be hon so for the sake of answering the question right we my bad uh but when we so when we going talking about code switching it’s less about behavior and it’s more about the language we use right and for for
Coach he’s he’s from he’s from he’s from Georgia they speak differently right uh I’m from New York we speak differently and there’s a sling in our community that we use in New York there’s a slain that they use in the in the community in Detroit so code switching is being able
To come out of that environment out of where you out out of your family’s conversation your family’s way of speak speaking and show up and now your your your language changes you you speak more professional you use better vocabulary better diction because the environment
Is different so I and in in a sense I think it can be a little bit of anau inauthentic Behavior but I think it’s it’s it’s NE it’s still necessary because you have to at the end of the day at some point you have to be able to
Co to because not everybody gonna understand what you’re saying or receive how you say it if that make sense I think Roland was I don’t know if y’all can hear me because I don’t know I think it’s my signal that’s messing up we we got you okay you got me
Yeah okay uh code switching it say a when you go bounce between uh M more than one language it has uh to do it’s like I made a fun of my mother the other day online because when she when we were growing up she used to get on the phone
And I used I told my sister I swear it’s a white woman in my house you know in our house because on the phone like who the heck is that she gonna get off that phone and she gonna be mad somebody else you know it’s just like when we talk we
Speak conversational English if you going the right unless you talking in that voice in the in the book that shouldn’t be what what uh goes on that paper because you going to have something messed up because we don’t a lot of us don’t pronounce certain sounds
We don’t say the th we say this and we say that and when it comes to code switching I think that was a World War II I want to say because the Germans spoke you know bilingual people speaking back back and forth so other people wouldn’t be hip to what they were
Necessarily saying and that’s how we get sometimes where we I can talk to if I’m in a frat I can talk to my brothers in the Frat a certain way so they know what’s being uh talked about versus if I’m talking to someone else and they are
Just a regular Layman we can just talk about this part so when you can bounce between multiple languages and that happens in our culture uh a lot of us because we can go from speaking almost the queen’s English or at least the American version to we on the Block and
You know Gad going home and he calling people God and this that and other but I think we have to like the language is different in different settings was gonna go there the language in New York in certain places is different than the language in Mississippi it’s different
Than the language they speak in in in Michigan so so let’s kind of let’s let’s let’s do this it’s a famili yeah I’m I’m agreeing let’s do this let’s do this because so wouldn’t Co switching be a good thing hold on I understand what you’re saying with in certain sects in certain
Areas in certain environments my language is going to change and you hear it especially for a person who speaks a foreign language um they’ve been in the United States for years and they’re they seem like the accent starts to dissipate until they get on the phone with their
Relatives and the accent comes right back almost instantaneously but let’s talk about Behavior now like what about when your behavior kind of vacillates you know depending upon the settings that you’re in Uncle Junior I like what you were saying earlier because you’re like I’m not you know who I am around my
Wife I’m not the same around certain people who I am at work I may not necessarily be the same person at the bar afterward but what about that is is is that an example and can somebody look at your behavior from that perspective and say that you’re not the same person
You’re not being authentic people can say that but it’s really not up to them to to be able to judge because at the end of the day I know myself I know my intent behind my behaviors when I’m in certain settings you know what I’m
Saying so if I’m I’m at home I don’t know if I’m at home and I’m acting a certain way you know then I I think sometimes it kind of come down to your values and stuff like that you sometimes our values and stuff kind of determines
Our behaviors so so I don’t think your values should be changing when you’re in different settings right so if your values is hey I don’t you know I don’t throw on low cut dress and shake my behind at the club not talking about dudes but I’m saying some women right
And then your friend like hey let’s go do this and then now in that setting you’re doing those things where you’ve changed who you are for whatever reason and I don’t think in those settings in those situation that’s that that’s okay because I just don’t I don’t think that
Changing your behavior um is okay when it’s in a negative in a negative sense see but who would deem it negative see I’m mother thought like my wife hate like I’m a Fool at all times you wake me up you gonna get me I’m not changing because I’m at work I’m not changing
Because I’m at church or something I’m not changing because I have to be comfortable with myself and if I’m not degrading or belittling somebody I feel like either you get used to it and deal with it or you kick rocks I’m not gonna be the one to change because I’m not
Looking at it whether whether it’s a negative or a positive I’m looking at it it’s me would aren’t there some dangers involved with that though there’s a danger invol I think as long as you not as long as you not trying to offend and you’re not being offensive and you
You know purposely doing things and you not like some people are naturally nasty that’s not me some people are naturally things that will you know put people in a position where I like to joke I like to have fun I like to keep it light and wherever I
Am that’s that’s it’s me that’s why people will say like y’all even said it that’s just R yeah that’s just me because I’m not doing anything malicious and I’m not I got to be comfortable and a lot of times what people do when they you masking it to act like somebody else
And act like this it becomes confusing and txting but if you’re yourself 247 they know what to expect and if you have a work ethic and all that you you’re good to go you know it’s like okay you know what you get when you get me if I’m
Acting differently then like okay what’s wrong with him yeah you know me not and I’m not grilling you right and this is for everybody but everybody has blind spots right so there are certain things that I can’t see in my behavior that must be revealed to me so if I have
The posture to where I automatically say well that’s just me then is good could couldn’t part of that danger be that I am rejecting the new information that somebody has giv me which can actually lead to a growth side Behavior go ahead I’m sorry I I I think right there where you just
Brought up is is where relationships coming into play because if I already if we already don’t get along and I don’t like you everything you say to me sound like shade and so when you start even you might be telling me the truth but because our relationship is not that type of
Relationship is G I’m I’m I’m G take it a different way man he’s he’s hating or man he he want me I don’t know who he think he talking to but I’m not B whatever but but in when I have a relationship if coach come to me and show me something
About myself then whether or not I agree on the spot I have to at least take in consideration and begin to think about who I am what I’m doing and identifying that in myself and being honest I think the problem comes in is when you brought
Up the blind spots all we are we honest enough with ourselves and able to take self-ability of the of the things that we say or do that may negatively affect the impact that we’re looking for you know so sometimes sometimes that switch is necessary when you get to work
Because and is like like R Roland’s Roland’s a fool he likes to joke but you know there some there’s some Jokers I know that are fools that like the joke that are of the artillery persuasion that some of them jokes you can’t transfer to the office you got to leave
That in the field you know you know I love you coach but I have idea what you’re talking about exactly and and it needs to stay in the unknown places with them jokes like but and and that’s and that’s but that’s just real that’s that’s who artillery men are right uh
That’s how artillery men talk when they get together but can they take that same conversation that that came out the field and bring that before saw Ma depending on who you saw see I don’t think you change who you are because you change your conversation like I know I understand
What it is to be professional and and set and I can read a room and know like okay dude you need to dial it dial it back that’s still me being me I’m not changing me what I’m doing is changing what I’m giving to the environment to
The setting that’s it but I’m still me because I understand when I’m in this setting okay all that’s not called for so I’m not changing what I’m doing is Shifting my conversation to where it’s fruitful over here because this conversation is not necessary here so I leave that out back but I don’t
Right coach sing what you got Chris you know over the past couple of years I have kind of sort of perfected a skill and that skill is shutting up when people are talking from that I need to learn from I just learned something from both of these
People this is this is and there is a reason why I shut up Cod switching is a buzz word it’s not really clearly defined and you hear it all over the Internet so I needed to hear like real life what it was so yeah I got nothing okay you getting the last words
On that I was trying to um I was trying to you know kind of create an analogy what I was kind of thinking about so like is this in a different way any different than you know we talking about changing Behavior based on settings in a sense um
So if if a man chooses to they’re at home with his lady and they grow each other you know they enjoy touching each other’s butts and different things like that right but then when they go out in public and they do that then people’s like oh they need to get a room so
That’s that is a situation where you change your behavior based off the setting yeah that’s who you are your wife may like for you to grab a butt but in public or in church maybe that’s not the best place to be doing those things so um I think we all change our
Behaviors based off of the setting that we’re in um like I said I mentioned before I think it’s it it’s it becomes a problem when you change for the negative you know what I mean like you’re a certain way you know and I I would go back to high school and probably middle
And elementary school where we all behaved a certain way at home but then when we got to school we might say sneak and say a little cuss word or sneak and look at a little picture of something you know that we ain’t supposed to do so
I think we’ve all guilty of you know I mean changing our behaviors and doing certain things and and public or in private that we may not always do so that’s my last little two cents yeah so can I ask a question Y and and this is just clarification so basically
Co switching is okay depending on the environment as long as you are not compromising who you are as a person am I getting that right that’s what I’m that’s what I agree that’s what I think long as I’m not changing my values and who I am nothing wrong with it like the
Way I’m talking to you is different than the conversation I had this morning with my boy you know what I mean I’m my values and the bases of my conversation is is the same but there are a little differences and nuances that go into the conversation because me and you have a
Different relationship than me and him me and him go back to middle school so our conversations and our information about each other are is a lot greater than information that me and you have shared with each other over the last year and a half yeah you had something that you was
About to add I think no it was a after Unk uh finishes his last statement for me I’m thinking about when I did sneak off and say the little cuss word when I did sneak off to look at you know the little picture or the magazine that got thrown out of the
Store that we picked up and put in our book bags you know but I I wouldn’t that I don’t think is is is being inauthentic or changing personalities or switching up I I that’s an ero an era of our life to where we’re finding ourselves can we still kids and
Stuff like that and even and even as adults I think some of us as we get older we’re trying to figure out who because who 20 year old me and and and 40 year old me can’t be the same me like there’s certain things that mentally I
Know better then so now I now that I know better now that I’ve gained 10 more years 20 more years of information I’m refining myself and so sometimes it seems like a switch up but I’m finding who I am and and and those those moments are important too so that you so that
You can now that that’s a growing process and and so I I don’t know it gets kind of weird because we say I’m being authentically me like Roland is still Roland may have told jokes when he was 20 but Roland ain’t the same Roland
At 50 that he was at 20 and you right that’s where I was going to go um I think Uncle junr hit the nail on the head for me right he mentioned values and so what we have to understand is that we tend to do character development
In the direction of what we hold important in our life those should be values right so if we are constantly moving in the direction of our values incrementally over time then what ends up happening is that we listen to the feedback that we get from other people
No disrespect anybody but you know the the notion the idea the you know um the the the concept of this is just who I am it gives off the wrong perception because what I am telling you is that I have no desire to grow except to except
What I present to you and if you don’t like it then you can go and kick rocks and go someplace else right so we have to understand that within the grand scheme of this thing that we call existence we are constantly growing we’re constantly developing and if you
Choose not to life is going to force you to so ultimately you don’t have a choice and so in the midst of growing in the direction of our values we actually get feedback we we and and ideally what we should be doing is we should be doing some self-reflection right we do some
Self-reflection so we can actually analyze Who We Are are and then start changing thing make those micro adjustments as needed um but I need somebody else to tell me some of the things that they see because I can’t see everything do me a favor and bring up Tam rat’s conversation um because this
Is the thing and I want you to understand this is textbook but even in this you can see the confusion right so authenticity is the quality of being true to self that’s where the confusion exists because in most cases we don’t really know who we are we are learning
Who we are throughout time I’m learning what happens when this situation is presented to me how I respond look at my values did my response honor my values no I need to make some adjustments here right so uh being true to yourself and not pretending to be someone else a lot
Of cases especially when you’re younger right young adolescent years you want to be like your dad so you tend to mirror some of the things that they do and so forth and so on so I greatly appreciate him sharing this because this is accurate this is textbook but you can
See within the definition this human is going to have some State some spaces where confusion sets in because I am still learning who I am authentically right and growing in the direction of my values because ideally the mature version of me looks like my values so
Tamrat thank you for sharing that and uh man good to see you and welcome to the show um let me grab some other points that are made because you guys were uh defining some things and sharing go all the way back to um and being true to
Yourself and who you are changes and evolves over time too so like you know um Like Son Of Timothy said earlier you know the 20 old version versus the 40 old version you know who he is his is authentically who he is but at 40 That’s
Who he is too even though they’re two totally different people the same person but a more evolved person at 40 absolutely and that’s why I said what I said um so thank thank you for you know continuing to develop that because you’re absolutely right absolutely right um Michelle Ray says also many people
Are looking for that identity um if family or uh or the midst of All fathers or mothers you will look for deeper connections absolutely that’s a perfect example of what we just got finished saying right it it is I have to learn within the scope of my development who I
Am and who I’m trying to be and in a perfect scenario it’s either coming from my dad um and if my dad isn’t there then I’m looking for some young man some man to grab hold to ideally my uncles’s you know his brother or my mom’s brother
Whatever that looks like but you got to realize some people don’t have that on the flip side young girls they look at their mother and here’s the other side what if your dad is somebody you don’t desire to be like or what if your mom is
Somebody you don’t desire to be like and you want to do everything on the other side polar is opposite right um so the this can be some confusion that exists and then you have steeper learning curves that you have to go through um in conjunction with that growth and
Development yes sir all right so it’s funny how you mention like not want to be like your father or something like that I literally had a come conversation with my brother about this two less than two weeks ago we were just talking like most of my most of my adulthood I tried
Not to be like my father right my father was um he had a um had a substance abuse issue that he that he struggled with for many years and but when I took myself out of it and I realized and I became you know more aware um I realized that I
Wanted to be just like him right man who he was his values his principles and different things like that that’s who I wanted to be like but I was so blinded by the the negative things that was going on in his life that I spent most
Of my adult life trying not to be like him because that’s all I saw you know what I mean but now it’s like I I remember who he was to the core and if you take away that substance abuse like you didn’t have nothing else on him my
Dad was freaking Rock Solid other than that man that’s awesome scenario and thank you for sharing that um and you know it may look different from somebody go ahead G I’m sorry uh because when when when you speak and this is something that I just believe wholeheartedly so but but excuse me if
If it comes off a little preachy but I think when we look at people and and and things that we that because all of us let’s be honest every last one of us got something that that that has a hold of us it might be our attitude it might
Be a certain alcohol I if I’m gonna drink I got to drink this specific drink or I gotta I gotta say this and this like there’s something about us that that we all have a hold of but it’s a difference between you know something having a hold of me and that being the
Essence of who I am and I think so so often we attach alcoh being an alcoholic as the person and and and not being able to look past and see the quality of per human being behind the the drinking and so when you finish that statement man
That that that that blessed me because I love how you flipped it around and said if I take away the alcohol and most of us can’t do that there’s somebody beyond the drugs there somebody beyond the alcohol and if you take that away that might be that might be someone
That you that you can look to there someone that you can actually learn from you know it’s just some things just grabb a hold of us absolutely I think the second sentence here um kind of sums up what you guys are saying perfectly right so the second sentence um in this this
Whole scheme of authenticity like we say it’s growth right authenticity is not a state of perfection we got to be careful because sometimes what you know we and and I think somebody made mention of relationship right we need to understand whether or not the person that’s giving me feedback understands my values if
Their values look different than mine then I can listen to their feedback but I am going to sift their feedback through my values because that’s the thing that helps me to grow but if they have in their mind what they think I’m supposed to look like in other words if
She tells me what a real man looks like she doesn’t have a a good metric of you see what I’m saying I’m I’m only using that as an example because I want to make a clear statement right you can’t have your own image of what you think a
Person is supposed to be because you may not necessarily understand their values so relationship is the thing that helps us to understand if we have shared values if we have shared values that I feel confident in giving Roland and Gaddy and uncle junor and Chris feedback back because I have their best interest
In heart I’m not telling them something that that is going to hurt them or damage them I’m telling them things that will help them now if they take offense to it that’s not necessarily my responsibility I can’t give it to them on a trash can lid but if they know me
Then they understand that it is it is for my desire for them is that continual process of growth and learning Chris it look like he was about to chime in brother and you said something there you when when you said you can’t give it to him on the trash
Can lid it’s about the presentation part I think that’s why with with the first question when you develop those relationships you respect and the person respects you so much that you understand when they come to you it’s not meant in any harmful way so you respect it a
Little more you need people like that versus the dude that worked as trying to tell you what to do he done had seven wives and he trying to tell you what to do with yours or the dude that ain’t never been married he trying well you
Need to do this no because you need that relationship with somebody like man I understand when they come to me they not just come and throwing something at me they done thought about they know me they know my heart like you said they know my values so they actually are
Aware of all these things so when they bring something to you you like yeah okay I can I can sit with that I I can accept that because you’re not coming antagonistic and you’re not just trying to judge where I am to put me down what
You’re trying to do to say dude you need to chop some things off so that you can raise up and you can be better and I know you got better in you do you think that’s easy that’s a lot of us walk around without people in our lives yeah because
Like I’ve had to I’ve had some friends and Associates that I’ve had to like have strong conversation with and I didn’t really look forward to having the conversation it sucks don’t it yeah because it’s like man we supposed to be like on a on a different level and it’s
Like I ain’t really expecting this all of you you know what I mean so it’s like like I remember I had one but it it turned out okay so I was fortunate that it turned out okay but it’s like and I think it’s because you may value the
Person or the relationship you know what I mean and it may be some disappointment there you know what I mean because I had to have one like two weeks ago man I was like golly man yeah Faith over fear man I’m I’m here for it bro
Listen I say this all I hate I don’t mean no disrespect when I say this right but I think adversity in relationships is the thing that builds Intimacy in relationships the only thing that stands in between it is when a person chooses to be stubborn and not hear if they
Cannot hear then they’re choosing in fact what they’re really saying is that hey man that’s just me but if they can hear it right whatever it is that doing this conversation if they heard what you had to say right and you didn’t go in there with both guns blazing you know
What I’m saying then if they heard you then the relationship at that particular Point had the ability to expand with depth and breath so and and I really do believe that however Ka most people a lot of people go straight on defense nope that’s not me shs up Shields up see
I got a dude right now man I think I think he been taken by a chick but and you see all the signs you know all the signals you know everything to look for and he just won’t listen to you I I don’t want to have a conversation and and see
That’s the fight that we have all because I could be wrong it could be just my that’s my vision of the relationship you know what I mean and who am I to say bro look she taking you for a ride you know that’s that’s what I
So that’s why that’s the struggle for me is going off of what I think versus what I know and whether or not I should have the conversation but I didn’t you know same I had the same conversation last night where someone you telling them reality and they telling you
Whatever and I’m one of them people I done told you once you come back with it again I mention it again and when you say it again I say okay because life can teach you better than I can tell so I told you a couple
Times like dude this is you call it what you want I ain’t get the 50 I got the 50 stum rolling and falling and I’m telling you so you won’t do that but you saying I got this do you think see I think can I can I can I say something real
Quick see here’s the thing and here’s why I I say this all the time a lot of people don’t know the difference between us talking about a behavior and us talking about them like they can’t split the difference it’s like if we say something about some stuff that you’re
Doing they automatically view it as you think I’m a horrible person and that’s not the case you’re not a horrible person you just did something stupid and I need to tell you about it because I love you a lot of people can’t pull themselves out of it and just look at it
So I can understand why conflict could be like that I think um and you’re right you’re absolutely correct I think a lot of people when they hear you addressing Behavior they think that you’re addressing the person and I think a lot of times what we have to learn to do is
Separate ourselves from our Behavior if you’re telling me about my behavior then I need to understand that okay that’s something I need to work on but if you’re telling me about me if like if you’re attacking me that’s a whole different conversation it comes off totally different and what we have to do
Is learn to separate the two because one will help me grow one would you know help me to you know do some things to you um so let me let me ask this because I think we kind of peeled that back pretty good why do you think if we understand
That and I’m just going to take you guys as a sample um if we understand that ideally within the grand scheme of this whole existence why do you think superficial relationships exist go go ahead Chris go ahead no Define superficial I think we just did anything that doesn’t look like what we just
Talked about any relationship that you have that does not have depth and bread would be considered superficial I think a lot of just like to be around people exactly it’s the it’s it’s the nature thing about the connection but they don’t understand that their nature is they they pointing
Them in directions that they don’t really need to be if that makes any sense a lot of people just have to be around somebody a lot of people don’t know how to be by themselves a lot of people find common likes and say hey we do the same thing yeah but you don’t
Like that person that person has no values has no goals you just like to go to the cigar bar on Thursdays so now we hang out they’re a placeholder that’s not my yeah it’s like see and then when you get older you find yourself I ain’t gotta hang out with a
Bunch of people well I mean I wouldn’t say they don’t have no values maybe our values are misaligned but I mean no values bro I think the superficial relationship is a placeholder but you can grow in that sometimes when you actually you can grow out of that superficial
Relationship or you can grow into it where you realize what makes them tick why they are what how they are and then you like oh man this person can add value over here with me or I can add value to them and then it’s like now you
Find your way to where you can fit you can fit in instead of looking at what you had in common and thinking you knew the person versus you actually getting to know the person yeah and then you can but before all of that there’s the why why are you
Here you understand what I’m saying like why are you here if if you are just here just to take up time until the right person is supposed to take your spot play your position if I’m supposed to learn something from you I’m supposed to learn something from you I
Mean but I I get I get what you’re saying sometimes you get in superficial relationships and it turns out to not be superficial because you look past it other times you have a superficial relationship because you just need somebody and you don’t know how to be by yourself and that’s honestly the
Majority of us we don’t we don’t want we don’t know how to be by ourselves but we’re constantly talking about how we don’t need each other it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life and I really wish y’all would stop it like can we not take that into
2024 me I’m curious to know what he is thinking that brother got a look on his face right now let me mute my mic I’ve been I’ve been trying to wrap my head around a superficial relationship I’ve really been trying to think about it and I’ve been trying to
Figure out who should I ask I want I really think that Chris could really give a good example of what a superficial relationship is and I think and if not like I really want to like have an example of like because I think that’s what I need I need a little bit
More in depth other than just words I need a visualization of what um someone can look at as super official you know I have my thoughts but have you been at work or whatever and other people onlookers said man look at them they friends because you might have eaten
With someone twice or been around them and they think oh y’all boys y’all homies but you really don’t know this person you just this is the only time I see this dud is this female whoever it is whatever it whoever it is it’s like we do this together and people think
We’re friends but I’m not going to call you you not going to call me so there’s no relational value that you are adding to me or I’m adding to you other than this place whether it’s a bowling Le whether it’s a fraternity whether it’s you going to church we go to church and
Everybody brother sister mother y Yad y but they don’t really love you they don’t have a concern for you because they don’t know you you can’t love who you don’t know so people lie all the time saying oh I love you bro I love you you know me stop
Lying like cuz if you knew me you KN know what my hurs are you’ll know that when I go home I’m looking at some ketchup and some mayonnaise I ain’t got no food but then they think Oh I thought you was all right yeah you thought
Because you don’t know me get to know the person you don’t know a person by outside experiences you got to spend time and that’s what we don’t we spend times not time and so the question was why do superficial relationships exist yeah if we know all of what we talked about
Previously and I’m going to assume that most people know that right um if that’s the case then why do superficial relationships exist I think because based off of everything that I’ve heard I think that someone is still getting something from the relationship good bad or indifferent I think that they’re still getting
Something if you look at a trauma Bond they’re still getting something from that and sometime it may just be a place where you can go and dump you know what I mean and sometimes people just want to hear gossip you know what I mean or just
Be able to talk about this this or this so that’s what um those that’s kind of my thoughts you know I don’t have a whole lot I’mma chew on it a little bit longer but that’s um initially what I was thinking I get that I get junk mail
Out the mailbox every now and then go ahead G it what you got yeah I I I think that we we know what the elements of bad relationships are um but I think too many of us don’t know the elements of a good relationship and so because of that and
And I don’t want to use the word settling right because people hold value just may not connect to where we trying to go right but uh but we we hang along because sometimes we may feel like there ain’t nothing better or sometimes we say well this the only person that
Could tolerate me being me you know or sometimes we neither one of us just know where to go from here like it’s what what does a relationship look like what does success looks like in a relation and for so many of us we were taught success is just making it till death right
Uh nothing involved in that you know just making it till death and so and so when you don’t even have a true understanding of what the relationship with the most high is supposed to look like then how do I know what a relationship my brother is supposed to look like all right because
We’ve we’ve distorted even we we’ve distorted the scriptures so much that we don’t even know what that what that relationship is supposed to look like we have a superficial understanding of that as if it’s just well I said I believe and then the relationship is there and
I’m going to heaven now um I’m waiting to be caught up I you know what I’m saying like there there’s there’s there’s no instrumental value in that relationship except for when I’m trying to get this promotion oh Jesus gonna do it Jesus Jesus Jesus Jes Jesus Jesus you
Know or I’m waiting on a check in the mail let me drink this spring water from you know Mr pop off and you know you know what I’m saying like that’s so we don’t we don’t really know today’s society is very lack lacking when it comes to the idea of true relationships
So we just we just deal I like it I like it go ahead bro see I think we don’t we don’t know how to connect because we don’t have any we don’t value the people we value the small connection not the person and then since we do that we it’s like
When Jesus and Peter were talking Jesus as he says lovest Thou me Peter Peter said yeah I love you three times he said this he was asking him do you love me not like your brother not like your homies do you love me as your savior and Peter kept saying Yeah you my
Dog oh you don’t know me yet you don’t really know me because I’m not trying to be that in your life I’m trying to be bigger than that and see sometimes we don’t have a a place to put people so we will just leave them out there okay you
Good for this and I’ll leave you out there so every Tuesday we homies That’s my boy that’s but you don’t know what he’s going through Monday Thursday whatever and he don’t know what you going through but you know on Tuesday he there he there for me on Tuesday so the
Connection never grows because you don’t have enough value in you to say man I value you for more than just this moment what’s going on in your life let’s let’s sit down and break bread Let’s uh chop it up yeah I like that let’s let’s break through some barers real quick because I
Think it’s clear that there is a difference right so when we break when so it’s clear that there’s a difference and for whatever reason you know you have the authentic relationships that exist um and they may be far few and in between but then you also have some very
Superficial relationships and I like what L J say in the background because we’ll meet people just for the sake of networking but we never expound on that relationship we never you know get to the point to where we you know develop that relationship to something fruitful so outside of social media because I
Think we understand that social media can be one of the most superficial things there is what are some common barriers to creating meaningful moments in genuine bonds don’t nobody know how don’t nobody know how they stuck in their phone outside of social media listen man one big barrier is
Rejection people are scared of rejection that’s really what it is if you reject me on social media I can just block you and go about my business but I can’t block you in real life you understand what I’m saying that’s the common barrier that and the fact that we don’t know how
Because we’re so busy communicating through keyboards instead of actually looking at each other in real life I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened I’ve driven down the street and seen kids almost get hit by cars because they faces down in their phones these kids don’t know what they
Doing and the thing is they don’t know because nobody showed them and they ain’t have a clear example I am so glad you said that that last part yeah you got to give them yeah you have to give them a little Grace because they don’t know what they
Doing because the people that were above them didn’t know what they were doing either I I think I think we we deal with extreme selfishness and I just just I added extreme to that because everything we hear everything we see everything people are saying you know
Even not on social media just the advice I hear people give is selfish like yes you have to take care of your mental health take care of your body but there’s no relationship without the other person and if both part I think the problem is when we try to create
Meaningful moments everybody has a vision of what they want and that’s all they care about well this is what I wanted out of relationship this is how I want to raise my kids and this is where I wanted to go for dinner this is this is the rides if
We go to the theme part well I thought we get on this well you already had it planned out in your head why did I even come why am I here you know what I’m saying so we both have things planned out in our heads but
The reality is when we come together we have to reason with one another we have to laid out what what we both see and envision and and then how does that come together what can I do to help you get to where what you’re looking for and and
You have to come with that same energy but the problem is we come into these to me I believe our our barriers when it comes to creating bonds or even or moments is because we wanted our way only and so the only moments that you
Have to look back to to help you or or or to to build memories and to build moments you’ll be by yourself see I I I think I didn’t have have a problem with that because growing up my friends or my family they were people that my my family my parents spent time
With so when they spent time with their parents I saw them build a relationship and have something going so it made it easier for me to have these friends who became family because now we have something in common and we can talk and it’s like okay I’ve been knowing this
Person since pampus and we developed over time so you know me I know you so growing up it like okay everybody’s not your friend everybody’s not your family and I don’t think we should try to make everybody put everybody in that place I think that that’s a developmental thing
You need to develop relationships and if I’m developing a relationship with somebody if I’m taking this time out now I got to let you know where my heart is if my heart is on biblical things I gotta tell you that so you can pull back you can say okay that’s not where I’m
Trying to go but you know when you come to me you’re getting biblical principles you’re not getting what Roland think you’re not because Roland gonna say it’s not what you do is how you do what you do I’m G tell you to do some things
Because you know I grew you know I’m G come out of me and not out of you know scripture so if I’m trying to grow and I want you to grow with me and I want you to help me grow I have to show you
What’s pouring into me so that if I need pouring into you know how to pour outside of social media what are some common birds to creating meaningful moments in bonds four of the five of us up here have served time in the military and one of that one one thing that the military
Does is that it takes away one two three four five what’ I say that Ser serve to in the military right there was like okay um where I a never been 11’s worth I’m just putting that out there for all those watching I’ve never been 11 worth so
Four of the five gentlemen on this panel have served time in the military and one of the things if you know anything about the military is that they’re going to take your time right you’re going to work some late hours you’re going to deploy you’re going to go overse there
Are going to be a lot of different things that’s going to go on that’s going to take away time from building those relationships with your spouse with your kids so for me my one common barrier is time and when I say time is the hesitancy or the lack to put in the
Time to create or make those meaningful moments and those genuine bonds you know I mean if we look at our best relationships I guarantee you we can look at both parties and see the longevity or the amount of time that has been put into the relationship you know
What I mean relationships have to stand the test of time coach has said many times let time time right that he got from his grandma or somebody I think it’s Grandma you know and it’s I think it’s the same thing with relationships sometimes certain things you know you
May have something a rocky moment but we’re not willing to let time time you know what I mean and if time time if it’s a great relationship you’re going to have some meaningful moments they may not all be good they’re going to be meaningful and they’re going
To create those genuine Bond so I think for me it’s sometimes just the reluctancy or the hesitancy to put in the time and sometimes that time or the reluct the reluctancy to put in the time could come from some past hurt so I think sometime we we don’t want to put the time
In Bravo sir I I so like what you said and and just to clear up my grandmother’s saying I want y’all to get it right because it’s it’s such a wonderful saying I love it just give time time right um because I think when you really stop and think into it
There’s a lot of power within that small saying um and I think um as we move forward let’s let’s let’s jump on fostering understanding and the first question under there I think as we move forward every significant relationship every genuine relationship every authentic relationship Quire requires
Time time it requires us to nurture it it requires us to develop it it inquires us it requires us to invest in it um so gentlemen what are some of the most important things that you know we must understand to create memorable moments and genuine relationships I’ll go I will
Say one of those things is you have to understand that it might be a sacrifice on your end right or the other person what I mean by that is this you may not want to go to that concert that she want to go to or you may not want to go to
That play but when you go and y’all spend that time together you know what I mean or do something that you may not want to do you may find out that it wasn’t that bad and then you know and it may create a memorable moment so I would
Just say you know I will start off with that ain’t G to spend too much time because I’m looking at the clock I would say that their their experiences are valuable to them so don’t look at what they have gone through as something small or Petty because you haven’t
Experienced it or you’ve experienced something that you deem is harsher more harsh I’m gonna say don’t be afraid to be genuine in the first place be yourself be genuine if you want a genuine un said it best man sometimes it’s Equivalent Exchange sometimes you are going to have
To give something up to get something just be genuine when you do it be genuine and understand that you being genuine is was good for the relationship in the first place that’s where I would start it quit being so scared I’ve I’ve noticed that man a lot
Of people out here are terrified and they’re terrified to even attempt to do any of these things because of past hurts or past trauma or a story that they heard from a friend of theirs that they never live through but it’s really not it’s really not as
Bad as people make it out to be and like I said earlier man we need each other a whole lot more than what everybody would make it seem like it don’t C money to create memorable moments and bonds either and sometimes even though it don’t take money on the other side of
That be willing to sacrifice your money or your resources for those um memorable moments in bonds too some like look I’m I’m tight with my money you know I know you want to go on this vacation but you know we ain’t going sometimes it’s okay to put some
Things aside to create that moment in in in your relationship no matter regardless of who it who or what it is for so going to The Cheesecake Factory is a good first date I’m joking I’m sorry no yeah that’s a great that’s a great first dat we’re not doing that
Tonight we are not doing that tonight we go to Cheesecake Factory I’ll pay everything but then next week I want you to make a meal like the Cheesecake Factory if you can’t cook like Cheesecake Factory then you can’t go to the Cheesecake kind of low end because you
Realiz I’m just picking I’m just running my mouth I’m just just playing what you got G oh man I I I I say let it be let let it be natural appreciate life’s moments and you’ll find your M moments um I think we’re the problem with creating
Member moments is that we’re looking at people’s social media feeds to find the memorable moments we want and so we never have an authentic memorable moment because we’re trying to fabricate fabricate one we we we’re we’re looking it it’s crazy that for for all of us
When I was a teenager and y’all were in y 20s in the early in the military everybody was looking at well well let me not lie I don’t know who they looking at in the 90s but in the 2000s they were looking at Will and Jada everybody was looking at at
At uh uh all these op Oprah and uh stemman like we kept bringing these relationship like people looking at these relationships that now are falling falling apart and being exposed in in in the 2020s right because and and so now relationships across the board is just suffering because we have held our
Standards to somebody else’s relationships that we can’t reach and we’re holding our standards of what people should be based upon people that we can’t reach and you know so we never create bonds and we never create moments instead of allowing moments to happen let genuine bonds build if you create a
Genuine bond with someone on the Fly by accident just because you dropped your coat and you picked it up in got into a conversation don’t be afraid to explore like I think we keep trying we keep trying to to to to create moments and create relationships instead of letting
Some things happen and enjoying what we have like that I like that actually like everything that you guys said um I would say for starters to keep the main thing the main thing um first and foremost if we’re going to create lasting moments and genuine bonds
And things of that nature we got to be able to talk in the beginning so that we can understand what that genuine bond is going to be if we’re connecting based upon something superficial then we’re going to yield something more profoundly superficial so if I’m only looking at
The external and I never get to take I never take the time to get to know the person understand the person so forth and so on and I’m just talking male and female I’m I’m being honest if you’re only pursuing a person because of what they have and not necessarily learning
That person then that’s more so superficial connections so keep the main thing the main thing what is the reason why this relationship exists once we understand the reason why this relationship ex exists what is this relationship requiring of me right when we ask those questions now what I’m
Doing is putting the responsibility on me to be better forid relationship I think too many times people think that they are the most important person in the relationship that is always false I I don’t care who you are I’m sorry if you never heard it before you heard it
Just now and you I’m probably not your most favorite person that’s okay um but at the end of the day you are not the most important person in a relationship I don’t care how many people in that relationship if it’s only two of y’all neither one of y’ are the most important
Person in the Rel relationship the other person is more important than you right esteem them higher than yourself so if you can get to the point to find it in your heart to do that then you will never be the selfish person in the relationship also be intentional about
Those moments right go out there and create in you know add intentionality to your relationship if you are those people that like to go places then be intentional about the places you go plan it resource it do it you know take plenty of pictures because that’s what
You’re into right for me I’m intentional about what I watch on TV I’m just being honest because I don’t really watch a lot of TV so this week was all about you know those movies because I like them they’re entertainment those Christmas movies I like them they’re entertaining
Um so be intentional that was a joke I’m sorry you guys be intentional about what you do within the space of relationship have a desired outcome there’s nothing wrong with that I think too many times when you go into doing a thing you don’t necessarily have a desired outcome
You’re just going to fly by the seat of your pants to see what happens right so intentionality um again um you’re not the most important person in the relationship and at the end of the day keep your business off of social media I’m agreeing I can’t remember who said I
Think it was Gad that you’re looking at social media and you’re trying to recreate what you see on social media not even realize that the people who are putting the stuff on social media ain’t post the fight they had last night in fact that picture that they posted from
Two weeks ago it’s old now it’s still so again keep your business off of social media the less people you got in your business the more the more your business can Thrive and grow right there’s nothing wrong with that um yes sir I say this all the time
Get out of that movie that you have playing in your head that only Stars you but you play all the characters you’re the director you’re the boom guy you’re the sound boy you’re the best boy but here’s what I’ve learned a lot of people aren good at two things one casting
Because y’all put people in roles that they ain’t got no business in in your life and they want to take that into the next thing like the next person that come into your life is supposed to solve your problems you’re not good at casting and two you don’t edit the movie for a
Different outcome so yeah get out of that movie that you got playing in your head it’s good point and people allowing resumes and I’m joking okay um I think we’re gonna go ahead and dive into our uh final thoughts but before we do that listen wherever you are whether you’re
On YouTube whether you’re on Facebook whether you’re on LinkedIn whether you’re on the the uh platform forly known as Twitter whether you’re on Instagram hit the like button right the algorithm likes it we like it you know we live in a world of likes so again hit
The like button um what we’re going to do I’m just I didn’t tell these guys so we’re going to dive into our our bit of sweet moment our final thoughts and I want to thank each and every one for the value that you’ve been putting in the
Chats trust me I’m seeing you I was seeing you and was watching the whole time but as you can see these brothers was just laying down some facts so we’re g to start with Chris we’re gonna swing around on Uncle Jr we’re gonna go over to gaded then we’re gonna come back with
Rolland and I just close us out with our final thoughts so brother Chris you have the floor I’m going to keep my final thoughts short sweet and to the point we are better together than we are apart meaningful moments and genuine bonds are a part of our nature and we need to quit
Fighting it because we need each other that’s my final thought um creating creating meaningful moments and genuine bonds um I wrote a couple things down throughout the show and I came up with my three things that you know I think that people could benefit from when they’re trying to
Create meaningful moments and genuine bonds one is I just mentioned it was investing in the time put the time into the relationship because it takes time to build trust and different things that you need in order to have those genuine bonds you know you can create moments
Without having bonds but when you get to the point to where you having meaningful moments and bonds you’re on a whole new level um other than time I also think that you have to be willing to be somewhat vulnerable you know um everybody is not going to get everything
Right you know you have to be willing to put yourself out there sometime um and then I think lastly is growth you know the relationship in year one is going to be different three months four mon six months a year 10 years down the road so understand that you are growing and that
The other person is growing in a relationship too um so those that’s my final thought um invest in time be willing to be vulnerable at some point or sometimes and then continue to grow in the relationship um I have a lot to say and I’mma make it I’mma make it quick right
Uh because this is how it sits with me when we talk about relationships the father create created paradise put man in this beautiful place and begin to have relationship with that man relationship with that man all right he tried to you you see him being intentional about creating right so intentionality um
Again was that me I apologize um and he he he he he was intentional about creating a bloodline so that he can have a people to be to have a relationship with he he moved things around in life to secure that relationship with his people and in
The end if we’ve read the whole story he’s literally going to move Heaven and Earth so that he can eventually have that relationship with his people forever from Everlasting to Everlasting and and and and I think when we can get a grasp of how much the father Works to
Commune and to fellowship with his people and have a relationship that means something with his people that is the mindset we should have about the success of our meaningful relationships we say meing something we have to be willing to move Heaven and Earth to make this thing work because our families are important
Our relationships are important our communities are are important right and in doing that the moments will come so don’t get too caught up on it don’t feel good for it didn’t feel good for the last week well you keep going it ain’t going to feel good for longer than
That it’s just it’s just the nature of the game so be willing to fight to play the long game and understand that we can make it to an expected in I think we need to stop looking at people for what they can do for us or
What they can give to us because you start to value that portion before you get to know the person and then you have an expectation of something that may never get a hold of and then you’re disappointed when you don’t get it like for me people will people don’t believe me
But I’m a naturally shy person but what I do is I make fun I make little qubs and whatever I joke around so that I can make myself comfortable and when I make myself comfortable it makes others comfortable and then I find ways to communicate that way so if you get to
Know a person you’ll see okay why do they do what they do instead of dang they doing that again learn there’s a why in everybody and when you can learn why a person does what they do then you can get to know them and then you can start to develop a relationship with
Understanding and not just with uh your judgments because you know okay they do this because of this or they came up like that so you will get to know the why of a person and not just the what a person shows you I am going to keep M rather short um
I think what you’ve heard tonight is a lot of great conversation should have been some some things should have been revealing to where we are in the space of relationship some things should have been um just common s some of the things we already know um so for for me like I
Said earlier intentionality be intentional about this thing that we call um relationship right building genuine relationships building like meaningful moments you have to become intentional about that well what does that really mean that means that at the end of the day first and foremost understand who you are first like like
Go on a journey of self-learning self-development growth right make that a part of your everyday life um and then get to the point to where you’re not necessarily dependent on someone to complete you no person can complete you I’m just being completely transparent I’m sorry that’s the worst thing that
You can ever go into somebody else’s life do thinking do not put the Rope around somebody else and hold them accountable to your insecurities do the work on you first I am going to struggle having genuine relationships being less of an authentic person whenever I have
Things that I did not repair and in my life and then intend then go forth and invite somebody in my life and I’m not talking about male female interaction I’m just talking relationships in general right it’s very frustrating to be in a relationship with someone else when they struggle being able to hear
You be honest with them that’s not a genuine relationship that’s a relationship that serves them and serve them only so I think that’s something that we have to be be cognizant of listen I want to thank each and everybody who has participated with us tonight thank this wonderful panel of
Men I greatly appreciate them and I love them dearly we appreciate you guys in the panel you add so much value um you know all of the regulars all of the new people we welcome you again um again go to the website www.tm mindset shi.com
And join us that way you can be a part of a meaningful um so that way that way you can be part of our meaningful moments and that you we can have a genuine bond with do as well one more thing oh a couple more things really
Number one like I said previously if you weren’t with us there’s not going to be a show next week so this was our last show for 2023 so I want to take the time to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year spend time with your
Family enjoy yourselves like make create those meaningful moments now while the opportunity is before you um take the time to sit down get off your phone take the time to sit down and talk stop doing this all the time talk to the people will find out what’s going on in their
Life talk to those nieces and nephews and and cousins and those in-laws and those Outlaws talk to them take the time to talk to them so you can understand what’s going on in their life maybe you can add value in their life for those two three days that you guys are
Together last but not least tomorrow is that man’s birthday so with that being said everybody give uh give oh son of Timothy over there shout out tell that young man happy birthday send it to him on Facebook Instagram Tik Tok wherever you follow him at or send in the chat
Before we get out of here but again that young man birthday is tomorrow go ahead bro you got something uh yes uh first of all thank you coach and I know that this is the last show for 2023 so I guess that means we got to talk about this man
Too because uh next Saturday is his birthday so we gon hey I got to share the love coach I gotta share the love love I no this I no this so fine yes my birthday is next Saturday um that’s why we a having no show next week I’m joking
How old are y’all going to be I would be 49 plus one yeah I like it yeah I’ll be I’ll be 50 next week that young man be 38 tomorrow so yes there it is three of us got December birthday 38 that’s it wow I look that old man God you old or
Why you know you speak and you think that old you understand what I’m saying I thought you were older than that that was pretty good bro you quick on your feet you’re quick on your hey I looking at my headline like dang Yeah man so uh listen what was it
Uh all three of us December right okay um listen again we pre we appreciate you guys man uh I can’t stress that enough I appreciate um I appreciate the panel and all the value that they add not just this panel but my Saturday morning panel
As well so um I want to make sure that they understand that as well um I appreciate all of you I appreciate everybody in the chat I appreciate the value you guys are adding on the message boards and things of that nature the continual conversation and growth that
We’re doing in the community I want want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you guys because you guys are awesome and I just don’t think that you realize how much value that you’re adding in the midst of what you’re doing there’s someplace there’s somebody someplace
That’s sitting down and they’re just too shy to say something they’re just too shy to speak um but they’re watching they’re listening they’re absorbing everything that’s said everything that’s actually written in the chats um everything that’s written on the message board they’re just soaking it in because
It’s helping them and I think that’s the thing that we need to understand saying so again don’t get weary and doing good so I just want to kind of put that out um listen I think that’s what I’m going do on Tik Tok something next Sunday I think
My time is next Sunday we’re gonna talk about what we’re gonna do for 2024 and uh so yeah that’s it I got some changes coming in 2024 um so I just want to make sure I said that listen man you guys enjoy the rest of your evening have a
Fantastic weekend I think that young man goes live on Sunday on his uh Tik Tok so we’ll all be there um so again Uncle junor I’m telling you right now if you can’t get away bro you’re invited Chris if you can get away bro you get out the
Gym you’re invited Sunday morning at 11:30 Sunday morning at 11:30 Eastern Standard Time um listen we value you we appreciate you you guys have an awesome rest of your evening and a fantastic weekend be a blessing to somebody other than yourself W l
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