See that aspiring model there that was me Deb until the day I died I thought I’d go straight to heaven but there was a bit of a mixup and I woke up in someone else’s body so now I’m Jane a super busy lawyer with my very own
Assistant I got a new life a new wardrobe and the only people who really know what’s going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel Fred I used to think everything happened for a reason and well I hope I was Right counselor hello counselor for God’s sake counselor do you even know what you’re doing um are you going to call any Witnesses yes sir yes your honor I I do I am calling my first witness mhm yes would my first witness step right [Applause] up lovely de dokins it’s time to play
What’s the verdict please show the witness what she’s won the moment we’ve been waiting for what’s behind the curtain What was behind the curtain I don’t know I have had this dream every night for a week and I never get to see what’s behind the curtain May it’s a pony or you and McGregor maybe it’s you and McGregor riding a pony Stacy right Focus
I am terrified in these dreams I have no idea what I’m doing in court you know what Dr Oz would say these are stress dreams that’s all I mean look at your yourself do I have to you’ve gone into that office every single day and acted all lawyerly for 3 weeks straight when
Have you ever worked this hard hello Miami The Body Tan shoot hello that was one week and you were on a yacht you know what those dreams are telling you you need a break pack a bag hun we’re going on a road trip Palm Springs I can
Be ready to go in 15 minutes really I thought you had an audition today new career strategy I reject them before they reject me they said I’m a model no one’s hiring me to act come on we leave now we can be neck de in mud by noon you
Know what sold I’m going to go get dressed pick me up at work in an hour no no work it’s payday somewhere in that building there’s a paycheck with my name on it and when I find it Palm Springs is on me what do you say I say see you in an
Hour malpractice oh it gets better malpractice against a a shrink and I know how much you love the shrinks but it’s your case was my case I’m bowing out conflict of interest what was the conflict my interest I was sitting in the middle of a Depot you
Know what I realized life is short this is what I have Associates for you have an appearance in 45 minutes don’t mess it up morning morning casual Wednesday I’ve got a business trip in pal springs for continuing legal education yes that what you just said you mind if the new guy ride
Shotgun on this one good thinking cwell we can build him out and you can show him the ropes seriously are all your clothes at the dry cleaners again um I’m fine let’s get you into something a little less comfortable I’m taking the day off Terry yeah right since when do you say the
Words day off I just came in to get my paycheck speaking of which where do I get my CH Bing you look different did you do something to your hair no I we’ve got a situation walk with me bad news worst news what do you want to hear first your friend judge Summers
Called this morning she’s vacating the verdict in Mason the Ocean Park Trucking is that the bad news jury misconduct turns out one of the jurors failed to disclose a brother-in-law who worked for Park Trucking but Jane kicked ass on that trial that win won you the corner
Office and how could I forget that well you’re going to have to kick that ass again there’s going to be a retrial judge Summers wants to see you in Chambers in an hour an hour no that’s not going to work for me I know you have the memory of an
Elephant hey it’s a saying not actionable I had them pull every transcript Depo motion from the first Mason trial in case there’s anything you need to review get to work Bingham okay repeat it back to me from memory this time Carl Mason drove trucks for Ocean Park Trucking he was killed when
He fell asleep at the wheel I represent his widow Annie Angie Angie Angie Angie Angie has a 9-year-old son named Michael without her husband’s income they were about to be foreclosed on when you proved in court that Ocean Park Trucking coerced him into driving dangerous and illegal double shifts I want a kickass
Judgment and save their house I’m so good any questions just one I just came came in cuz it’s payday do you think all this could wait till next week I don’t know why don’t you ask them Angie and Michael Mason what are they doing here the case is being
Retried which means they never receed the money they want I’m guessing she’s worried they’re going to lose their house are they no but they need to hear it from you tell her it’s going to be all right Jane I know we should have called first
But when I got the news it’s going to be all right how can they have another trial we already won well we’re going to win again I promise we I clearly I am missing something here I don’t understand what I’m saying is maybe we could push the trial just a few days I understand what a continuance is Miss Bingham what I don’t understand is why you’re asking for one well first of all I need time to prepare prepare
What’s to prepare it’s like giving birth I’ve never actually done that the point is it is a retrial you’ve already done it once and besides you’re the most thoroughly prepared lawyer I know I’m sure you’re really good at stuff too too honestly I really need a mental
Health day I’m supposed to be on my way to the desert my best friend Stacy is in my office right now with a cooler and an iPod loaded with road trip music is there something wrong with you I mean in the head in the Noggin upstairs what no
I heard you got shot it’s true I did did it affect your ability to reason your judgment nope total flesh wound didn’t even feel it if you you say so my calendar is a mess I want this off my docket we start immediately get out of my office have a lovely
Day mental health day I’d like a mental health month maybe a year somewhere in the islands string bikini a thong a guy named Juan for the first year Jake and I had the kind of marriage that made made our friends jealous until his second personality emerged uhhuh believe me I
Know how that sounds disassociative identity disorder you’re familiar with it very familiar really I watched a lot of all my children when I was studying for the bar I know it seems farfetched but trust me it is real Simon could not be more different than Jake Simon is the
Man he turned into Jake is your basic type a adventure seeking let’s climb the matorn this summer frat boy that’s the guy I fell for Simon should work for the IRS he’s cranky he hates people spends all day in the library we’ll only eat foods that are white you know the type
I’ve dated them if he were a dwarf he’d be grumpy exactly I would come home from work and I wouldn’t know which guy I was getting I found this doctor Ferrar who specialized in this condition and I convinced Jake to go she treated him for
6 months and she got rid of one of the personalities all right the wrong one so now you’re stuck with Simon 24 hours a day 7 days a week week why do you think I’m suing um we’ll be right in okay sure about this psychiatric malpractice is always a gamble but we
Limit our scope to negligent treatment I think we got a pretty strong case you’re the boss not yet but someday this is a waste of my time your honor you haven’t even heard why we moving for it seems to me Dr Ferrar did exactly what she was supposed to do she
Was given a patient with with multiple personalities and she sent back a patient with a single personality all due respect that’s not the whole I’m inclined to Grant defense’s motion on summary judgment honor we’d like to amend the complaint excuse me we’re not suing for Mal practice then what exactly are you suing
For wrongful death are you kidding me no one died counselor now hear me out your honor the man that select Garner fell in love with no longer exists his thoughts his hopes his memories all all gone everything that made Jake Garner Jake Garner has been extinguished so it’s not a joke
Your honor not to our client Jake Garner is dead Dr ferar is responsible you’ve got my attention cannot be I just adjudicated six bankruptcies and two zoning disputes finally something interesting honor don’t you honor me I want to see if there’s a case here I’m agreeing to a brief evidentiary hearing Witnesses tomorrow Ow mail’s on the floor who is she and why does she make me feel the way I feel who Stacy oh no no no no we are not doing this you are here for me Fred you’re not supposed to be ouling my friends are you even allowed to augle isn’t that against
Guardian Angel rules I’ve heard about physical attraction before chemically I I understand it but I’ve never experienced it what you’ve never had a crush up there all I made are dead people well forget it okay Stacy’s out of your leag you’ll be setting yourself
Up for a world of hurts no no no you don’t understand I I I look at this Stacy and and I I can’t help it I want to I want to do her grocery shopping I want to I want to re roof her house I want to hunt animals and bring her the
Meat okay I don’t have time for this Fred but I’m telling you it’s never going to happen so just keep your meat to yourself Really no road trip I’m sorry she wouldn’t postpone it I tried everything and she got all judgy on me but at least you could go to your audition already missed it hey Grayson didn’t see you did he I’ve been hiding in here the whole time but sooner or later you’re going to have
To explain how we know each other I pick later here um I was going to wait until we got to Palm Springs to show you this I made the paper there’s a butt don’t freak out that’s not me mm-m what they put in the wrong picture why does this always
Happen I can’t even die right don’t worry we’ll fix it I found some awesome pictures of you we’ll take one of these down to the paper and make them rerun it look spring break and Cabo that was the best what about this one in the hot tub
I mean that would make an amazing obituary photo I don’t know it’s my final photo a lasting impression I just want it to be dignified and it will be they can totally Photoshop a bikini back on you I am going to go home crank up my thermostat and pretend I’m in the desert
Excuse me who I some Guardian Angel how could you let them screw up my obituary the last time I talked to Carl was the night of the accident he was in Santa Fe and he called to tell us that he would see us the following day because he missed you because his boss
Was insisting that he push on through to La objection your honor hearsay yeah I don’t think so this would be a hearsay exception seeing as how Carl Mason is unavail able due to him being dead overruled nice try 16 hours of driving violates the Department of Transportation hours of service
Regulation is that right yes there’s an 11-hour limit my husband knew that but the company didn’t care they had what they called priority runs and Carl’s boss used to encourage Carl and the others to drive 16 18 hours at a time and by encourage you mean they said if
He couldn’t meet the deadline regardless of regulations he shouldn’t bother coming back to work that’s why he was driving all night to save his job your witness I just have one question Mrs Mason who was it that fell asleep behind the wheel was it your husband or was it
Ocean Park trucking Incorporated my husband redirect your honor who tucks your son in at night you or Ocean Park trucking Incorporated your honor you started it Mr seel you can answer the question I do now it’s just me just you does Michael still ask about his dad every night the same question when’s
Dad coming home counselor are you okay I need a moment and what do you tell him I tell him that his dad is always with him always loves him and I pray to God that as he gets older Michael doesn’t forget his father he won’t you’ve got to be kidding me your
Honor objection council’s using a flagrant display of emotion to try and sway the jury no more questions um Council approach please I’m sorry it’s just this isn’t dinner theater are you on some kind of medication is this post-traumatic stress no it’s just so sad this little kid and
He won’t see his father it’s just it’s gets you I do not know what is going on with you Jane but turn off the Waterworks and pull yourself together okay the last thing that you want is another mistrial are we clear good counselor please show the cork what’s behind the [Applause] curtain [Applause] [Applause] It’s OB the dream means that Jane and you is trying to destroy the Deb in you oh come on and she’s succeeding that’s not true that’s a little true think about it the only reason we’re not in Palm Springs right now is cuz you had to
Work at your job I’m trying to help my client and her kid sue me for caring Sue yourself you’re the lawyer you know something the only reason you wanted to go to Palm Springs was because you needed an excuse to miss another audition take that back no admit it you
Are terrified of making the modeled actress leap that is so not true it’s a little true so you think about that I’m going to be later have a good day Jane Fred what are you doing here I’m a messenger it’s my job I deliver stuff uh here I got your check you could
Have given this to me at the office I figured you might need it immediately I’m thoughtful that way Fred go back to the office don’t do this did we get a new UPS guy where’s Pedro H hi uh Stacy right I’m Fred you probably remember me from Jan’s office
You probably heard her talk about me no kind of uh keep everything running over there I coordinate um document delivery and retrieval he’s a messenger who was just leaving uh uh but before I do I was wondering if you would like to share a meal with me at a a nice restaurant I
Can pay oh you’re asking me out so sweet I’m sorry I’m just not in that place right now say hi to Pedro for me what what does that mean that’s just something we say so when do you think she’s going to be in that place never Fred she’s saying she’s never going to
Be in that Place Mr Parker I heard there was blubbering excuse me judge Summers called she was not happy she it wasn’t blubbering I may have showed emotion you know why I hired you Bingham I watched you in court you were Rock Solid without any of the other nonsense the drama the blubbering I’m
Still Rock Solid feel These Arms whatever you did with this trial the first time do it again don’t worry apparently I won this trial last time with a whistleblower he goes back on the stand today by the end of the day the trial will be over no more emotion make it
So feel These Arms not only did I do nothing wrong my treatment was so successful on submitting this case to psychiatric journals did your protocol follow the American Psychiatric association guidelines to a te your witness Dr Farrar when celette Garner first came to see you did you tell her
You could help her husband yes I diagnosed associative identity disorder and told her I could treat him did you tell her that you would restore Jake her husband’s personality that you could get rid of Simon I did is the fact that you failed miserably going to be in the
First paragraph of your Journal article your honor it’s a good question I did not fail during the course of treatment I discovered that Jake the personality that celette first met was not the original personality Jake was an elaborate and long-standing construct he he never really existed Simon was the
Original personality I did my job I cured him when your patient paid for his visits what name did he sign on his checks Jake Garner and his medical consent form same thing Jake Garner that’s right but you have then tell me if Jake Garner wasn’t a real person if
He was a construct as you say how is the consent form he signed even valid and haven’t you committed fraud by cashing those checks no further questions I look forward to reading your article doctor Okay I’m I’m sorry I I didn’t think you were here I I didn’t you took a good picture she was beautiful hello hello am I interrupting no Jane your face is all red are you blushing no I was running laps earlier what’s up um Parker wanted to know if we were
Free for dinner update him on the case 8:00 sure excuse me I do in court you might want to get an ointment or cream she is unbelievable what dinner with Parker that girl is like a venus fly trap with boobs Parker never has dinner with Associates Mr sansky thank you for
Joining us again how long did you work as a truck driver for ocean Park Trucking nine years and do you recognize the president of Ocean Park Trucking in this room yeah that’s Mr hall right there and sitting next to him as Gary Monroe VP of operations Mr sansky is it true that on
At least six different occasions Mr Monroe threatened to fire you if you refuse to drive an illegal double shift no and isn’t it true that excuse me I said no no he didn’t threaten to fire you on six different occasions no he didn’t no one at that
Company ever asked me to drive a double shift do you maybe want to take a moment and try answering that question again objection asked and answered twice yeah I can count counselor sustained but your honor he’s permission to treat Mr Mr sagansky as a hostile witness proceed 10 months
Ago you sat in this room and testified that Executives at Ocean Park Trucking told you to break regulations and coed you into driving illegal double shifts were you lying then or are you lying now 10 months ago I was a mess because my friend Carl had been
Killed and I was looking for someone to blame are you kidding me Council but your honor aren’t you going to do anything about this objection we’re going to take a recess what no it’s all in the transcript this isn’t fair how much did they pay you to change your
Story your honor objection uh Miss Bingham I am warning you zip it me what about him this witness is quite obviously a big fat freaking liar okay that’s it and if you can’t see it you might as well trade in that polyester robe for a big fuzzy MooMoo enough okay
Baa take Miss Bingham into custody I’m holding her in contempt what what did I say I’m not talking to you what are you going to do hold your breath till I leave come on you know I always thought that you could have a little more passion in the courtroom but I think you
Overcompensated you know what happened in court today wasn’t fair Fair do you remember the summer you clerked for me um vaguely the Turner case I planted a flag equal pay for equal work I was overturned on appeal that wasn’t fair remember what you told me vely that the
System was about due process that if I wanted fair I should go to a fair ground I said that to you did you slap me no maybe I should have you’re going through something aren’t you you’re not the same I’m not you want to tell me about
It you wouldn’t believe me if I Did okay I’m going to have to keep you in here till about 9:00 otherwise everyone’s going to think I’ve gone soft after that have someone from your firm come and sign you out all right but Jane think about getting some help we’ll see you in [Applause] Court uh I apologize on Parker’s behalf his last minute text cancellation very tacky it’s okay well we’ll get even order the most expensive things on the menu and Bill him if you’d still like to eat I’m not going to turn out a free meal um maybe we have the wine list
Please thank you so I guess we just update each other your case seems to be going well thanks to you wrongful death stroke of Genius when we win I’ll make sure Parker knows oh it’s fine you don’t have to no don’t do that quietly competent doesn’t make partner did that just sound really
Cutthroat okay you need to work on your Poker Face sorry I should get that might be Parker oh just let it go I can’t imagine what he me H Jane is everything all right where are you can people actually kill themselves with shoelaces I’ll let you know I’m so
Sorry I ruined your night Jane it’s fine no I I tried Terry I even tried the new mail room guy stop apologizing you didn’t ruin anything Parker never even showed you don’t say you really called him a liar to his face right in the middle of Court actually I
Think my exact words were a big fat freaking liar but I’d have to check the transcript and then I have to burn the transcript you show the jury you cared yeah I cared so much I got thrown into Jail at the end of the day it doesn’t
Matter I have no idea how I’m going to win this case without my whistleblower how do you prove they are big fat Liars sometimes you don’t have to prove it at all remember trial advocacy are they abanded funny you don’t always have to prove that they’re Liars you just have to get
Them to believe that you can prove it sometimes it’s not about the law at all sometimes it’s just acting exactly what oh nothing it’s just I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to you to to people talking to me like I’m a lawyer for being
Honest I still feel like a fraud every time I step into a courtroom like I’m wearing my dad’s suit and it’s all pretends except it’s not not to my clients that’s a good thing they’ve got you I thought you put me in rapture this is a terrible idea no it’s not hey
Think of it as an acting job this could help me win my case okay how do I look like the owner of a small business yeah sure in a porno movie all right come here we can work with this I don’t know Jane I think you were right I
Keep skipping auditions cuz what if I I’m a model who can’t act listen to me you are Cameron Diaz not Cindy Crawford Cameron Diaz not Cindy Crawford Cameron Diaz not Cindy Crawford oh here you go I even made you a business card oh I love Props excuse me are you Mr Monroe yes I am I own a small produce company and we have what I’d call a should be emergency how can I help you miss bear I have 1500 South American cantaloupes sitting on a dock and San Pedro that need to be in
Chicago by 6 p.m. tomorrow night or I lose my biggest client 600 p.m. 2,000 mil that’s cting a little bit close please Mr Monroe I’m desperate can you help me get my melons to Chicago my name is Simon Simon Dewey you’ve had that name and personality how
Long since I was born who is Jake Garner Jake is a born frat boy you know loved a good dirty joke everybody’s best friend you know did very well with women and Jake met selette the summer after graduation it was Jake who proposed when did Simon or when did you reemerge well
After the wedding when things calm down and they move well we moved I started showing up again and it was then that she sent me to see Lois I mean uh Dr Farrar thank you so you’re Simon pretty much all all the time now and jakee is nowhere to be
Seen why do you suppose that is I don’t know maybe it’s because of Dr farrar’s treatment Dr farar got rid of Jake she made it safe for me to assert myself how’d she do that uh it was a combination of medication and intensive sessions she uh she told me it was okay
For me to be myself she she showed me compassion in her office did Dr Ferrar did Lois ever show you compassion outside of her office remember you’re under oath yes or no did you ever see your doctor outside of the office yes just one more question are you
Sleeping with your psychiatrist Simon is that why she got rid your honor do not answer that you sent you my husband so you could help him and you slept with him never I only slept with Simon I never touched Jake oh well guess what doc they share a penis ladies
Ladies come on there’s enough of this to go around Jake how you doing baby show’s over people I want to see counsil in my Chambers Now even if she slept with him and I’m not stipulating she just admitted it and open course the fact that her husband isn’t dead is our defense enough both of you as entertaining as this has been there’s only so much a judge can take I’ve reached a decision Mr browers is
Right I don’t see wrongful death here thank your honor that case will not be moving forward in which case we wish to refile malpractice excuse me Dr farar didn’t kill anyone but she did sleep with her patient I don’t know about you but that sure sounds like malpractice to
Me pile the paperwork we’ll hear Witnesses Monday morning thank you your honor come on babe I know this is complicated but we can figure this out forget it Jake actually it’s Simon oh well Simon Jake whatever it’s over I’m breaking up with both of you should we see if she wants us to
Handle the divorce there’s not enough money in the World my name is Gary Monroe the vice president of operations for Ocean Park Trucking Mr Monroe are you familiar with the Department of transportation’s hours of service regulations of course it’s my job to be and how often would you say you encourage your drivers or coer them to break those regulations never at
Ocean Park Trucking we value the safety of our drivers above all else even if that means you can’t deliver on time for a client Miss Bingham you’re not listening we wouldn’t even accept the job in the first place if it meant we had to violate dot regs really yes really are we
Done Council look we know what what’s going on here this is a big waste of everybody’s time is it now Mr Monroe do you recognize the woman who just entered the courtroom objection we received no notice of an additional witness she’s not a witness your honor
Not yet for now think of her as exhibit a Stacy Barrett step right up your honor this is trial by Ambush this is the first we’ve heard of any Stacy Barrett oh really then why does your witness look like he’s about to pass out I suspect he’s familiar with her did you
Need some water Mr Monroe council is there a problem your honor we’d uh we’d like a short recess fine we’ll take 10 minutes welcome back coun Thank you seems there’s going to be a change in management at Ocean Park Trucking holl and row are out and your check is on its way we can stay in our house honey you can add a second story I know I’ve said this before but thank you again Jane oh
Thank you well I’m glad I could help again take care of each other thank you so that’s a good feeling tell me about the settlement same as last time more or less more or less we’ll take the first figure and double it not bad now double it again Really oh Mr Parker how was poker last night don’t ask never ask the guy hasn’t missed a Thursday night poker game in like 10 years you got to admire that Commitment haven’t seen you around all day I won my case I heard what’s wrong are you mad at me n what you said before about Stacy That She’s Out of My League it was harsh but I guess it’s true no Fred I I didn’t mean it no yeah you you
Did and I should have listened to you the first time no I didn’t use the right words I I wasn’t being sensitive to Fred I haven’t known you very long I’m not exactly sure what you are let alone who but from what I can tell
You’re in a league of your own and soon sooner or later you will find a girl who wants season tickets to that League to your league and okay I know I’m smart now but I’m not making sense am I I’m just confused and it hurts what about this the sea is filled
With many fish yeah stop look I I I know I’m I’m supposed to be your guardian angel but I’m new here and you kind of have to be mine a little bit to to just tell me could someone like me ever wind up with someone like I mean is is it really
Impossible look at me Fred anything’s possible hey I was just trying to IM am you God that was a good day huh I’m still buzzing Parker was never coming to dinner last night was he what of course he was no he just cam it wasn’t a question I know well I I wanted
To um I wanted to have dinner with you and you thought you had to manipulate me into going it’s kind of my default yeah how’s that working for you I lost dead less than a month ago I don’t need to be manipulated right now I’m sorry the thing is if you had just
Called and asked you want to grab something to eat I would have said yes my God I nearly died I’m telling you I was so good I was in the moment I actually believed I had 1500 rotting melons in San Pedro if there was an Academy Award for best
Produce company president in a pending lawsuit you’d totally be nominated nominated I totally win woohoo I’m so sorry about Palm Springs I’ll try not to let work get in the way of everything Palm Springs will always be there what about next week any day but Wednesday I have an
Audition and I’m going to you to making the leap to Cameron Diaz oh my God I totally forgot look today’s they reran your obituary Stace you are the best how did you do this me I don’t have that picture I thought it was you when I saw you in that dress I felt
Alive for the first time since I left home hey hiy I I was headed out and I saw you were working late and uh I don’t know I was wondering if you’d like to grab something to eat that’d be Nice That
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