Don’t you love it mhm I love it this is it so among the lies we’re real we’re just we’re just starting you know Lily was one of my girl names was it yes um when we were deciding a girl name for Violet even though we didn’t know if she
Was a girl so we had a boy name and a girl name set up I said to my husband if it’s twins we should do Violet and Lily oh that’s that would have been it wasn’t Twins and it was a girl and violet was my husband’s grandma’s name so we we for
Violet Violet suits her she’s a lovely Viet yes yes she is but nice to be among the lies yes welcome among the lies uh Stephanie gray Connors Matt and I only ever referred you as Stephanie gray always been and yeah it’s it’s no offense to your husband it’s just in our
Head and then I think Stephanie’s like a common enough name or like if you were talking about us well you probably say Matt frat but you just say Cameron actually that’s that’s true I do I say Matt Fred and then I say Cameron yeah or Cam actually yeah yeah yeah yeah MH yeah
Um yeah it’s it’s funny cuz I was reminiscing with Matt that I met you first and that was 2003 yeah so no 2002 2002 even okay yeah it was 200 because it was training right was it tring no it was in cam loops so whenever you were in
Cam loops oh yeah yeah no it would have been 2002 cuz the year was 2002 2000 no it was 20012 2002 so then 12 to 22 so it’s been 22 years that I’ve it almost 22 21 years I’ve known you wow wow our friendship is old enough to
Drink our friendship can have alcohol in the united stat in the United States yeah Canada you Canada yeah yeah well that was me I turned 21 on net in C in Canada I was in cin when I turned 21 I’m like we need to go out for drinks and
They’re like Cameron we were at a pub like two nights ago and you had a drink I’m like but I’m 21 now like this is a big deal yeah so like Liz got it cuz she was American but the Canadians were like this doesn’t really make sense right Liz
And Pete were like no we’re doing it like we know what Pete hey wow yeah Dez Liz Pete I remember all those people J that’s right yes all the old that’s a good group yep yes yeah all the old Nets yeah and then a handful of those teens
Went on to do net and eventually work for net yeah I always have a special spot whenever anyone says they’re Canadian I’m always like oh where are you from and they’re like oh the Eastern side or the western side like not knowing that you know yes yeah and I was
Like no no no what province okay and they like Calgary I’m like okay but where and they’re like this is so weird like they don’t normally go through usually Americans do not know these types of specifics about Canada yeah yeah and then the more I talk to people
I think not all Canadians but a decent amount I’ve seen more of the country than they have cuz we did we went Coast to Coast yeah so fun little random fact but I always have like such a heart for Canadians and I’m like or people will assume that I’m Canadian they like oh
Yeah you’re Canadian right I’m like no I’m like but I I take that as a comp compliment thanks and I’ve always had a heart for Americans so there there you go so it worked out well you know on my so in 2008 I read Immaculate il’s book
Left to tell did you read that the woman who survived the Roman in genocide but at the end of her book she shares um her desire for marriage and how she put a dream list together of what she wanted in a husband and so I did that in 2008
And it’s like pages and pages and pages long but one of my criteria back in ‘ 08 and didn’t get married till 2020 was I want to marry a man who loves the US like I do oh wow and then I Married An American that’s so good it’s a really
Good thing that wasn’t on my list my husband did not love the well he does now but he didn’t he didn’t for a long time he yeah he was turned off by had a heart for for America well there you go yeah yeah and my favorite animals when I
Was little were koalas and kangaroos I always had a heart for Australia there you go see God prepared ‘s the heart yeah and then my family thought I was going to marry an Irishman when I went and den net Ireland and then um my grandmother was like I knew that you
Were going to marry an Australian I’m like an Australian she’s like well Irish or Australian you know they’re pretty much the same I’m like no no Grammy they’re not they’re not well I met a for a lot of the Irish goat Australia or was the Irish criminals it was criminals
Both of Ireland and England yeah but I think South Australia Matt said recently South Australia was like one of the only states that wasn’t it wasn’t one of the main Penal colonies oh and is that where he’s from yeah oh okay but I know my husband well enough to know he’s
Probably related to past or criminal in his blood string but it’s good you know it keeps us on our toes yeah there you go yeah yeah um all right so I I I think uh so my old listeners all know who you are but my newer listeners I feel like when
I switch to YouTube It’s like a different world so they don’t know you but um do you want to do a little intro or kind of explain who a bit about yourself or do you want me to do it uh I’m happy to go either way okay so my
Doing it is see how you would me Stephanie gray to the pro-life movement is what Chuck Norris is to fighting whatever style I don’t what do you call that I don’t know I don’t know whatever he does okay yeah no you’re like you’re like the the super awesome
Beautiful um Warrior prin like you are are Joon of Arc for the pro-life movement for what Jon of Arc was to France wow yeah totally well you are very kind yeah that that that’s legit yeah I don’t think I would have described myself that way but I don’t
Think you would either but that’s how I describe you for sure like for the pro-life church period but especially in Canada but no I I think in general you you that is your yeah in my eyes that’s who you are just so you know well okay
At this point you know know that I’m married and pregnant and have a two-year-old I’d be like well I’m a wife and I’m a mother and uh but I have been involved in the pro-life movement pretty much my whole life and and certainly professionally for a couple decades so
And you’re the only person besides probably Trent horn that I think can debate abortionists or or any I’m happy with any pro-choice anyone or even non-bias whatever anyone that’s not sure about whether or not they ought to be pro-life you you and Trent I’m like you
Don’t need to do it together but either one of you can destroy the opposition no problem it would be fun you know I think there was a time where Trent and I were going to try to do a debate together now that I think about it I don’t think we
Actually have accomplished that but he is my goto replacement annihilate them well if we did debate anyone have to be two on two that would be really unfair I feel like there should be 10 on two if it’s you and Trent I’m sorry I’ll let the other people bring as many
People as they want oh gosh yeah but Trent Trent is great and actually we both were formed by um the same Mentor Scott clus andorf who’s really excellent and has really impacted the pro-life movement substantially so okay very good so I probably have a fun
Analogy for him too but I don’t know but yeah that’s the thing because we known by the fruits well right because I met Scott in 1999 oh wow so I was 19 18 and I think Trent would have met him a couple years later and so then Scott formed a bunch
Of us and then we’re now the apologists that people think of when it comes to you know debating in the pro-life world so nice yeah which is I I think a good lesson for all of us that we want to download into other people and that our
Legacy is to spread a message to others so that they spread it to others and and then you have that that ripple effect yeah no that’s needed do you have someone in mind that you’re trying to you know there’s people that over the years I’ve had different degrees of
Mentoring relationship with um but at this point it’s more like people have reached out to me and said I’ve really studied your work so independently not that I’ve like directly mentored them and now I’m giving this talk or I want to start giving talks and so I remember
A couple years ago I met a young lady like that and she was giving a presentation after just kind of independently studying my stuff and I remember feeling so full and satisfied because at that point I was married and had Violet I believe and so it was this
Sense of okay like the torch is being carried and even though I’m still involved to a degree it’s not the same degree just because once you’re a mom you know I firmly believe that and I write about it um in in a book I have coming out but The Hand That Rocks the
Cradle is the hand that rules the world Amen and so I’ve really wanted to embrace that idea that I’m the one rocking my daughter’s cradle you know yeah definitely and this is the most perlie thing you could be doing right now is loving her raising her yeah yeah
Because we have the problem we do in our culture because parents have not not parented their children the way that they should and though therefore you have broken families and fractured relationships and then people don’t want to repeat that so then they just want to end the child’s life if they get
Pregnant if it’s not an ideal set of circumstances and then you have this just ripple effect that goes on yeah we’ve been widening our circle of who we’re hanging out with and um it’s very interesting my kids takes um but even my 9 and 11year old is like I don’t
Understand why do they not know that this is the most important thing or why would you not make sure that you married a good man before you would have children like like so it’s been really interesting to see like like I’m obviously not done forming my
Children but the way we have formed them thus far um them seeing like counterfeits and recognizing it as and it’s like why do they not know their life so much harder because they didn’t because of their choices yeah because of their choices the choices they’re making
Like it doesn’t need to be this hard like you need to do this or that and and it’s really um um yeah it’s been really interesting and beautiful to see that like I didn’t purposely I mean I guess I did purposely make my kids pro- lifee
For sure and I did explain where babies come from and I explained the sacrament of marriage you know and I explained these things so so as the questions come up we always answer the questions right um and then being like but why wouldn’t they like like and then realizing too um
Being around couples that don’t have that aren’t married and being like wow the way they talk about the boyfriend or the girlfriend is so mean like you and Dad would never do that or so your kids are picking up on our kids are picking up on it and they say they’re like do
They just like why and I’m like we have sacramental Grace you know like with marriage like there is this and it’s like you can do things out of order but it it gets really ugly when it’s out of order you know and God’s goodness can
Come in and then we have a friend who had her first um as it she was a teenage pregnancy had her first um like finished high school on her own and and her mom you know and and the the daughter is amazing and beautiful and a young adult
Now but then eventually found a really good beautiful man and they have this big beautiful loving family and there’s like but she did this and we’re like well yes she did but she was like blessed that her mom was like um kind of a hippie and so it was all about love
You know and so but it was interesting to see and it’s like God is so good that he can like yeah so just he he can transform any situation uh it doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy though so it’s like you could take the easier path
From the beginning or go through some rocky roads that God will still redeem and transform and bring beauty from ashes but it’s going to be really rough you know for a season yeah yeah yeah but realizing it at such young ages or even your daughter with her beautiful who’s
Peeping peeing and pooing right now stage it’s like that’s right that’s what two-year-olds or three-year-olds should be asking about if if only she was actually peeing and pooing on the potty so she seems to have all this interest in toilet realities but not actually in sitting on the toilet so the chys of
Having a toddler yes no I remember that I remember that it’ll probably be overnight she reminds me of Kiara Kiara was very smart very determined and one day she just decided I’m done with diapers well and that’s why I’ve decided from stuff that I’ve read and there’s so
Many as you know schools of thought when it comes to every aspect of parenting but with toilet training with her I’ve decided I’m going I’m not going to force it because she’s so strong willed I don’t want it yeah backfire exactly in all kinds of ways and so it’s
Like okay I will follow her lead and then probably overnight she yep yeah yep kiar decided overnight and we’re going to a VBS our church was 45 minutes away from where we lived and we’re going to a VBS and she decided Sunday she was done so mon every day I’m driving I’m like
Just wear the pull and I would fight her over the pull-ups she’s like I will not pee she wasn’t even two oh wow and she like fought me it was right before she turned two so she was almost two and she’s like I will not pee and I was like
Okay okay and so like the first couple of times I put a towel down she never peed she never had an accident like she peed before we leave we do the hour drive she pee once we get there and then she made it through we did all the VBS
Stuff and we were busy through the day and she she made it when she needed to go and yeah just very well I’m going to hard strong willed yes yep just ACI which you know when you’re in the moment of parenting a toddler you’re like this strong willed behavior is very
Challenging but I keep thinking to myself this is actually the type of person it that with the proper formation and direction is going to change the world yeah exactly for the better so yeah they become the movers and shakers and they get stuff done yes yeah it it’s
Hard parenting them like when she was two every day like she would fight me on everything but my oldest is also very strong willed so I was like okay I and I am very strong willed yeah I know me too my husband’s always like well where do
You think she gets it from my easygoing like fmatic husband you’re like I know it’s me it’s me yeah that’s fair Matt and I both are pretty strong willed so it’s no wonder most of our children are but when she was two like every day I
Would ask her who the boss was CU I was like I just need her to know I got to get it and she’s been EAS way easier to parent than my oldest who’s also strong willed but I didn’t like take that firm stands in the beginning I’m like I just
Need you to tell me who the boss is Daddy’s the boss okay who else is the boss Jesus Mama Mary not you ohar honey who’s the boss fine you the boss and she like sit there all upset for so long wow wow but then like like she’s great like she like she has
Her moments but overall she’s like a very well-formed cheric and she like does baby Duty in the middle of the night and so I was like wake me up but she’s like no no no baby woke up at midnight I just picked her up rocked her
She went back to bed around 3:00 a.m. she wanted a bottle so I gave her a bottle burped her put her back to bed and I’m like you could get me Mom I had it got it that’s why you need to send her to me when this baby exactly exactly
She can like she can handle it you know I think as ceric we can just handle a larger amount of I don’t know stuff yes yeah yeah but it is it’s good to have in the world if they’re yeah well trained needs it but yes properly trained well
Formed for well formed yes yes CU they’re also the type that if they are left to their own devices without proper formation then they can ruin the world yes yeah exactly yes exactly well why don’t you tell us about your new book yeah so I’m really excited I’m actually in Stubenville because I
Have this new book my body for you a pro-life message for a post row world and um I’ve partnered with Theus Road publishing through the St Paul Center which is just amazing they’ve been a real joy to work with um and I’ve had on my heart for actually quite some time as
You know my Pro apologetics has often been known as being non sectarian I’ve spoken at places like Google and other places where people aren’t religious so I’ve proclaimed the pro-life message using science of philosophy and human rights and I still believe there’s a place to do that and I still do that but
In the more recent years I have just really seen the lack of faith and religion as being at the heart of the problem and really reflected on various debates I’ve had with abortion supporters abortion doctors and being like they they need Jesus and realizing like the heart of the Gospel message of
Jesus saying this is my body given for you is really at the heart of the pro-life message like what does a pregnant woman do what does a mother of a newborn child and really any of her children do she’s laying down her body for the sake of another which is what
Christ did and it’s not only the woman because we’re laying our bodies down our spouses are laying their bodies down you know our husbands are having to do more and serve more because we’re often sick or tired you know working with the baby and so they’re laying their bodies down
For us and so um I wanted to take the message of the Gospel the message of the Eucharist and Infuse that into the pro-life message and unpack a lot of the complex arguments people hear about what if the woman’s life is in danger what about rape what if you have a poor
Prenatal diagnosis and other things but all worked through at the end of the day with the message of the Gospel in our response to those those difficult circumstances so that’s what I have coming out that’s awesome it’s so good and so much hope like like we need hope
We need um yeah like we’re talking about suffering earlier and I’m like I don’t know how you do it without faith right right yeah and that’s the thing like I think a lot of people suffering is magnified because they don’t have faith like at least when we have faith we can
Run to the Cross we can realize Christ suffered too you know but also Christ gives us strength and and through prayer and through surrender we start to see little mercies and Graces like even and one of the things I write about in the book is my own experience of pregnancy
Loss having had four miscarriages and even through that suffering and even through the hardship I found myself capable of not losing my faith and not getting angry at God even though I was sad and I was heartbroken um which only comes from having a faith like if I didn’t believe
In God then I could get really bitter or um you know what hope is there whereas now because I believe in God it’s like I’m going to be reunited with my children my children are in a better place my children have already achieved eternity which is the goal that I’m
Working towards you know on this Earth so realizing that I don’t think it necessarily makes it easier in the moment like I know um like I had a friend that was saying when people tell me my job’s done congratulations your baby’s in heaven she’s like that doesn’t
Help me right now like right now I’m hurting right now I’m grieving right now and and even anger like even even though we’re faithful people you could be angry at God he’s big enough to handle our anger and it’s like I desperately wanted that baby and I’m looking over here at these
People that don’t want their kids they aren’t taking care of them right they they’re getting taken away by the state and those kids live but mine died right and I have all this that I want to give them and and it’s hard it doesn’t make it easier I don’t think well it’s hard
CU I don’t think it makes it easier but then at the same time I do because it’s like acknowledging that feeling that pain and being like but I will be United with them yeah I think can make it easier but without making it easy so you know the burden can be lightened but
It’s still like you’re carrying a cross it’s just Jesus picks up the back end like Simon picked up his cross so it’s like I’m still carrying this but you’re helping me carry it so um and I think also I wonder if the there is a difference when one is going through
Anguish and suffering whether the perspectives that will ultimately help you come from within or right externally so when someone says oh don’t worry your babies are in heaven it almost is like forcing you to get to a place you might not be there and so then we naturally
Resist because maybe we’re just you know we defy or or it’s just we don’t feel that yet but um in my case at least I felt like I was able to get to those places without an external Force saying certain comments to me um and one of the
Mercies I think was how the community around me really responded just with being with us in our suffering and suppor us through you know mercies like meals or prayers or like a beautiful thing one friend um had this idea uh of a picture of Jesus holding three babies
When we before we’d lost our fourth and uh just no faces on the babies but and no face on Jesus but you knew it was Jesus and then one of the things I communicated to my friends was the death of my children made me think of the phrase momento Mory which is remember
Your death the Latin the Latin phrase and how um we often don’t think of our deaths you know when we live in a world with modern medicine and really good medical interventions where life expectancy is maybe early 80s you know we think okay well I could just
Keep going for many decades and losing so many children has reminded me to remember my death and remember that life is a journey to the next world that this isn’t the end this isn’t the end goal and so this friend took what I had reflected on wanted a text to friends
And has asked yeah she asked a designer friend of hers to paint this picture of Jesus holding three babies with the phrase MTO Mor it was so beautiful and she showed up at my home with that framed and it was like this is a mercy like here we are suffering here we’re
Grieving the loss of a child we so badly wanted and yet here’s someone who’s responding to our suffering with compassion and with sympathy and so it was gestures like that that affirmed our loss yes um and then just my own reflections over time that helped me
Work through okay I have to live for the next World okay my babies are in heaven okay can I can I be grateful that I had babies even if I didn’t get them long because I wrestled with what was the point of these pregnancies like what was
The point of the morning sickness I had with the fourth baby if it’s not going to end in birth and it’s okay to to have those thoughts but then I had to because maybe because I’m a debater I live in my head a lot but I think what would I say
Back but then then I thought to myself okay wait a second if I’m questioning what was the point of getting pregnant what was the point of that baby because I didn’t get to grow up that child didn’t get to grow up with me then I’m saying the value of that child’s life is
How long I get to spend with that child and how fulfilled I feel by that child and it’s like no the value of the child is that that child’s made in God’s image that child has a soul that child will live forever and uh because of Jesus and
Our you know our my husband baptized each of the babies we miscarried it’s like okay you know our desire is for their Eternal salvation in Christ and so I can take comfort in that even as I work through the discomfort of the natural human inclination of wanting babies I I
Can’t have yeah yeah I um the baby that I lost that I went septic with um I had a neurologist that would like eat his lunch in my room he was just really trying to figure out what was wrong with me and I’m like do you think I’m crazy
He’s like no you’re the most sane person but I can’t and I was like thank you he’s like the people I see I don’t see very same people and I’m like oh okay whatever um but um he was just trying to figure it out cuz it was very
Neurological like my left side of my body would like shake and I like kind of seize and then i’ collapse and I like couldn’t walk so he’s trying to figure that out but he said he was sorry for my baby I lost whatever we had had that conversation move forward and then we
Were just chatting and it was probably like a few days later that um I was explaining something about he was asking why I miss carried and I was like oh well it turns out the baby had too many chromosomes and I didn’t know that until afterwards you know and so I’m having
This conversation he’s like oh well and he like I explained whatever it was to him and he’s like oh well that’s not compatible with um human life or something not compat incompatible with life I think yes so that’s the pH so he’s like oh so you weren’t pregnant
With a baby and I was like oh really oh wow what was I pregnant with and he’s like oh I I didn’t mean it like that and I was like no no no I I want to have this conversation and and so he’s like okay sits up like awkwardly like I’m in
The hospital bed he’s over there and we we grew to have a nice relationship like I was in the hospital for a month so we we had been friends at this point and he’s like what I meant was like your baby couldn’t have come to to be born
And look like other human babies because of and so he’s a neurologist and so he’s explaining all this and all I’m it’s my big mama heart right but I’m like sorry so I pregnant with a cat you know like if it wasn’t human he’s like I’m not
Saying it wasn’t human it just couldn’t get to the and I was like okay so what was it prior to me miscarrying my little my little one and like we had this conversation we went back and forth for a while and he’s like I’m sorry I’m
Going to give it to you it was baby I was like okay great thanks and he’s like I’m sorry he’s like I didn’t mean to offend I’m like no no no you didn’t offend I just I really want to know like I see where you’re coming from and I
Know it’s very scientific but I want to know like what was it then so like if if someone has cancer so if a baby has cancer and their body won’t be able to handle the cancer so they’re going to die by the time they’re two at what
Point does the baby not be a baby right right and it’s like oh well the cancer cells have taken over and it’s like no no no it’s still a baby like it’s a baby with something namely cancer but it’s still a baby just like any disability
I’ve heard it said you know we we can say uh that person has Down syndrome or a Down syndrome person and it’s kind of like the latter is identifying the very individual by their disability as opposed to saying that’s a person with Down syndrome or who has Down syndrome
It’s something they they have but they themselves yes are a person yes I feel like that’s part of my thing with when someone’s like oh well what like especially when I first got diagnosed with some of my health issues there’s these support groups online and I didn’t
Like it because it was I am this autoimmune disease I am someone with a mental illness I am someone with pots or EDS or endometriosis that’s who I am and I’m like that’s not who I am like I may have these things but that’s not who I
Am yeah um but I think it’s the same thing right right we can falsely identify a very individual with something about them as opposed to looking at the individual yeah and that can be a danger within the medical community because they’re so used to diagnosing pathologies and disabilities
And illnesses um so I mean I think it’s awesome and a Grace that God gave you that kind of fighting Mama Spirit to challenge him because how many other patients does he say similar things to and the woman maybe doesn’t have the same formation or wherewithal at the
Time to really push back a bit to get them thinking wait what are you saying and how are you phrasing that and is that the best bedside Banner there’s definely and I’m not a debater I’m not very logical thinking like you would matter more alike like that but um but
Even I’ve had people say something like I’ve talked about um like a good friend of mine I was I was very young but they lost their baby so I was like maybe 19 or 20 and they it was like her very last checkup so I think was like 30 like she
Was at least 30 weeks pregnant if not more like 34 weeks and um lost the baby and they had to deliver uh deliver her but they named her Mariah Faith even beforehand which was the the mountain of calary the Mariah mountain range I guess yeah wasn’t in Mariah wasn’t that where
Uh Abraham took Isaac to to sacrifice yes yeah so I always joke that she’s like the queen of baby heaven cuz she was the first baby that I knew so we went to the hospital and we were there while the mom and was delivering her and
We were just there for support just to love them and just being in the waiting room praying and then at her funeral um it was packed it was completely packed the church it was a huge church so many people and other people were saying like there’s been women that have been healed
From abortions that have been here right like and it was just so powerful seeing this beautiful little coffin and the mom and dad were in the front row um with their other two daughters that they had and um and I still remember the dad basically having his arm around his wife
And his little girl um and them just snuggling and mourning right but them raising their hand like blessed be the name of the Lord like you give and take away I will choose to say yeah exactly Blessed Be Your Name and that just really and it was after I don’t know if
It was a friend that lost a baby or maybe it was after I lost one of my babies but it was someone that was more like very and like well technically we don’t know if babies are in heaven and blah blah blah blah blah and I’m like oh
Really and I just went mama bear on and he’s like Matt supports me don’t you Matt Matt you understand what I’m saying and like dude you’re on your own and he like turns to his brother and he’s like dude you’re on your own too you you know
She just like lost a baby right Cameron if you if you believe that your baby is in heaven I’m sure that’s where the Lord has your baby right now and this one like just he just was kind of clueless but it was some I don’t know who it was
But some Saint and he’s like we don’t know for sure what or whatever but I was like yeah no I do like I’m a mom and I know in my heart I know the desire and right for your baby salvation and and I don’t know they’re true apologetic
Answer I’m not an apologist that’s not my thing but if someone’s going to have the argument with me it’s like yeah yeah sorry I’m not going to yeah I think I think it’s safe and wise to have faith in the mercy of Jesus that our children
Are in Eternal Bliss yes yes right but I think having that that attitude that your friends had which was they’re suffering and they’re grieving but they can say blessed be the name of the Lord is not only ultimately going to give us peace even when we have again that that
Cross being lifted at the back but we’re still caring it’s still heavy it will it will eventually give us more and more peace but it becomes this powerful witness to evangelize others to help others like e as you’ve I’m sure experienced in your own suffering but I
Recently met with someone who’s had two miscarriages and she asked to meet with me because she knew I’d had four and she has no relatives that have lost babies and so she feels quite isolated within her main Family Circle and so she just was so grateful to be able to talk with
Someone who knew what loss was like and you know am I glad I lost my babies no would I even be glad that I lost my babies to be able to minister to her no because it’s still a tragic loss that no one ever wants to endure but since I
Can’t undo the past since I can’t bring my babies back since I I can’t you know undo things which have already happened then I can be grateful that God can use it for his glory and for his good and that somehow my suffering can ease her suffering just by connection and
Information um I think of another time this incredible story I heard of this couple um that had given birth um still born so the baby was like died right before birth or right after birth but they didn’t know the like the baby was totally healthy there’s no explanation
For why the baby died but they were devout Christians and they really believed in God and they’re like okay we can’t always explain everything and we are hurting and we don’t know what to say other than you know blessed be the name of the Lord and a friend of theirs
Who wasn’t religious at all like I don’t know whether he’ describ himself as atheist or agnostic but he came in to visit them in the hospital and couldn’t get over their surrendered attitude that even in their grief and it was legitimate grief it wasn’t like they weren’t sad or they weren’t you
Know yes very Sor but there wasn’t bitterness there wasn’t anger and there was this embracing of Faith he was so moved by their witness that he came to know Christ and within a week of that he had an anaphylactic reaction and died wow yeah so it’s like again in
Divine orchestration of things like we don’t see everything but God works all things for good even the crosses even the the sufferings yeah yeah I had a friend uh well there’s so many I feel like there’s so many stories like this and even the one that I was talking
About yeah the I had a friend story but they’re really true I know baby Mariah’s mom one year to the day ends up going into having another baby the exact same delivery room same doctor delivers a baby and just said that she felt Mariah in the room interceding she has two it’s
Either two or three babies that so the one in heaven and then another two if not three I forget have the exact same birthday and they were all same doctor same Hospital like crazy like just like inter can’t make that happen no and she’s helped so many of my other friends
That have had miscarriages and when I like when I when I was miscarrying my second I knew that um I knew that I was losing I knew that I was losing the baby like the first one I I I thought I was good cuz I was later I was like 15 16
Weeks when I started losing that one but the second one I knew right away that I was losing and um I was already doing a Divine Mercy choplet For A friend of mine in Canada who had lost her baby she was far along I forget how I think she
Was in her third trimester um far along and and um John Mercy was his name and we were praying they couldn’t get her in I guess in Canada you have two different sides of your hospital kind of like almost like a a baby Ward and then like
The abortion Ward do you know what I’m talking about oh well I mean I assume they would do abortions in different areas yeah so there’s different so because I’ve had friends that have done like nurse training and they’ll say they won’t do the abortion side but they do
The so go to labor and delivery side labor and delivery versus I forget what they call the other side but they have abortions on that side so they could get her in on that side oh but there wasn’t room in labor and delivery yeah and so basically they’re like it’s the same
Procedure it was like a almost like a partial Bo abor or D she was far oh yeah so she had she had a birth oh dear so I I don’t know what it was but they had room on this side they didn’t have and she’s like nope I’m not coming in like
No I’m like it’s the same procedure like these nurses and doctors are qualified and she’s like no like I my baby is still with me like Spirit had gone on butys she was still she was large pregnant and she’s like I know he’s not moving I know all these things but I’m
Not it’s a very different experience I want to be on this side of life and with nurses and doctors that see that I am grieving and it be a gentle beautiful thing I know I need to go into labor I know I need to have this baby and um but
She’s like but I’m going to wait but they didn’t have room and anyhow they were did she eventually get in she eventually got in but the do the mid she had a midwife and so anyhow the other side and so they’re kind of like fighting with her over it so we were
Doing a Chaplet of Divine Mercy it was like before the Feast of divine mercy and so we were um praying for her and I miscarried during that same time and so it was really like beautiful to know like I don’t know so we named that baby
Gideon mercy and so with John mercy and I’m like okay they’re like entering Heaven together like John Mercy’s like a little and I viewed him more as like the big brother cuz he was that much further along you know um and just having that and then my friend’s mom had died just
Before that and um yeah and it was the same thing like she was an artist and she has a picture of like I think it’s her mom holding I don’t know if she drew it or someone else drew it but it’s a similar like faceless type but like and
So she’s like I have so much comfort that my mom’s holding my my baby you know so she I didn’t get to hold and snuggle him but she is you know and same with others that they’ve lost and just yeah that’s the beauty of the communion
Of saints is you know that there’s this whole family awaiting us and and that is together and I think even uh back in Canada I have a dear um Ukrainian Catholic friends a Ukrainian Catholic priest and his wife and he recently passed away very very suddenly like it
Was a very fast progression of cancer and I had the chance to FaceTime him right before he declined so he was still lucid and I told him you know father I said I’ve lost I’ve lost four babies I’m pregnant again and like please pray that this baby stays but you you’re going to
Get to see my four babies first you you’re going to get to play music for them in heaven and you know cuz he and I would always used to play ukulele together and so I’m like it’s it’s your job now like when you get there you’re going to isn’t that beautiful right and
So you know some people say well is right is that is that for sure true and do you know he went straight to heaven or what’s his Purgatory down but it’s like it’s just the idea that we’re Believers in Jesus lovers of his church yes you know constantly going to the
Cross and repenting of our sins and having faith that in his Mercy whether that of saints is as we enion it right now or you when you’re in labor with this one I’m envisioning him holding your other babies singing You music you know I hope and some serious pain
Rel by the way that reminds me speaking of Labor so um actually right about it the first chapter of the book I open chapter one by saying I should have been a nun because that is what I said to my husband when I was n centimet dilated I’m regretting this whole thing
Most excruciating pain I could ever imagine like it was torture and I’ve largely forgotten it because I’m afraid about Labor with this one but I still don’t quite remember just how bad it was but uh apparently I said I I should have been a none which is funny because I was
Just reminiscing with your husband how when I met you in 0102 you said you were thinking of the sisters of life and I had also spent time thinking of sisters of life and I thought about it again when I was in labor but any yes yeah right and you’re like actually that
Vocation is looking really good right about so I hope I get that intercession when I’m in labor to make it just a little easier yes yeah definitely yeah no I think there is something really beautiful and and I feel like um yeah the power of the intercession is massive
But also the gift of the gift of life and seeing the beauty of it regardless um like I don’t know how you can you can argue with it like um like people love babies like like even children love like yeah like my daughter you you saw her today but she is just
Even baby dolls everywhere we go will there be baby dolls where the be baby dolls she wants to go to a store to look for baby dolls you know like she loves babies and you know she’s observed me around babies but I don’t have like I’ve had some friends babies that I’ve held
But for the most part it’s like I have no sibling in my Army yet that she see for her and yet there’s this intuitive sense of Attraction towards the young child yeah yeah yeah and there’s something like we’re drawn and it brings part of us alive and I think we have to
Kill it and stuff it down to not have it so I do think that you can walk by some people and they’re like I’m not acknowledging there’s a baby but most people are like a and there’s like a melting and a Kiara had on a baby um
Today she had the baby strapped in her like in a carrier and she kept getting looks cuz she’s young so she’s like a little girl carrying a real baby they’re like is that baby real and she has like a cute bow on but they’re like oh my
Goodness she’s so precious like like and and just it was beautiful like we’re we were in TJ Maxx it was crazy people are Christmas shopping the line was out the door like ridiculous people are stressed and there was a part where like uh you couldn’t tell like if I was waiting in
Line first or the lady over there was and there was like this tension building and people were behind me and people were behind her and I felt the T rising and Kiara like walked up and was like oh you can go like and like it melted it
Melted the tension and it was like oh my goodness you have a beautiful family and it was it was just like a softness came over this woman and the other people in line didn’t care anymore and it was like we’re all admiring this beautiful baby and like this I don’t know like softness
Or even like seeing like my son and his friends like he just had a friend over who has a mustache that D’s like like he’s a teenager but he’s like a man teenager and then my son too who’s like kind of big and tough and they’re like
And they’re like oh like they make baby faces and noises and they love babies and they melt and it’s like there’s a softening and it’s so good yes and the Beautiful Thing is it is the mere presence of the child because the child is not doing anything for them incapable
Of doing anything but being and it is the presence it is the being of another person which is a reminder to all of us like to have that sense of the Sacred when encountering another not by what they’ve accomplished what their reputation is who their friends are but
That they are it’s being human beings yeah yeah I remember when we lived in Ireland people were more at least in the town we were in a very rural town and people didn’t like us in the town because we there was an old Irish priest and we moved there and everyone thought
This is not what the church teaches anymore the church has changed with times and then we were a young married couple who said all the same things that the priest was teaching so a lot of the town did not like us and kind of but what was interesting when I had my first
Baby they come over and they would melt and they talk in gayc cuz gck was there and they’re like oh shab and like all these noises and they’re interacting and I remember this one man was an old man and he was very hard and Stern never I’d
Seen him before in town it was a small town never even looked at me but like interacting and playing with the baby and then I was like oh hi I’m caring I know who he is and turned and marched off and I was like okay don’t take it
Personal fine yeah like there was a real I don’t know didn’t like me for whatever reason um and normally I’m a people person people normally like me but they didn’t in this town which is fine but they all loved the baby like they all loved and oo and God like um I don’t
Know what iron Ireland’s like now but when we live there like uh 13 years ago um yeah everybody loved and CED and like was just oh babies with baby likeone I don’t know just FS over them just yeah they find so pre even with the baby in the womb which is
The funny thing about how messed up our culture is because on one hand you have all these people wanting to push for abortion and celebrate abortion but as a pregnant woman with a very pregnant belly do you get a lot of comments yeah I get comments that are always affirming
And encouraging and even just the stares and the smiles like people sense there’s something different about me in a positive way they want to affirm that they’re enjoying that and observing that you know or offering you to go first because you’re pregnant or or whatever
The case may be so um yeah there’s that sense of the Sacred with the young new life whether it’s in the womb or out of the room did you ever get to experience the expected mom parking lots you know what I think they went out of style
Before you got pregnant they did go out of style because this has so they’re not here anymore S no I don’t think they exist anymore it in Canada oh do you think so I think so because I remember expecting no pun intended to see these everywhere in Florida it’s handicap
Spots but no pregnant or like like with family spots and now maybe I was thinking maybe it’s because it’s Florida but you’re saying they shifted away oh wow yeah I think we’ve been pushing for everybody bathrooms right and we’re so focused on that and making sure everything the focus has been there and
People have just gotten rid of the expected which is super annoying because when you have kids you want to park close to the door when you’re like lugging them in and out of now I will tell you Franciscan University of student they have it they have one I
Parted it the other day and I I’m not expecting and I did feel bad but I had a baby with me well there you go had a baby and all the bab stuff as long as you have a baby I feel like this is fair
And I dropped the kids off like to get seats so I had small children but it was the baby car seat that I was like my body’s doing better and I can make it from here to there and I do have a handicap pass I just didn’t have it in
The car and so it’s like I feel like I’m like I feel like the friers will be okay with me parking here and I do think yeah I feel like in that situation I thought it was okay but I was I that’s what reminded me of it I was like I haven’t
Seen one of these in like at least 10 years yeah no you’re right I I remember thinking where are they we even had one in California oh wow and I think it was like 10 years ago it was a thing everyone did it and now it’s like o
You’re really pushing like female stuff and you don’t want to do that of course cuz is not woke but yeah no I I remember thinking those should be around where are they and I do think the spirit of them is like whether you’re pregnant or you have children out you know out of
The womb CU yeah you’re dealing with car seats and diaper bags and and rambunctious children yes yes yes that’s that’s what I that’s what I figured but I I’m yeah I feel like it’s another way that our culture is just yeah well shifting away from the family and supporting it and its you
Know integrity instead just losing its mind and other issues yeah and I think that’s why we need even more of like the we need more um books like yours my body for you we need more pro-life centers or there’s this uh Center downtown I got diapers
And wipes today I could have gone to the store and bought them but I just texted and was like hey do you have some cuz I have this baby again and I’m out and and yes they were happy to yes please come and you know they but it’s like okay
Like that’s and the lady greeted us with a smile and what else do you need and I actually have this really cute little Christmas onesie would she want it and just like yeah this is what we should be well and that’s where like my body for
You is the pregnant woman but it’s also you caring for a child in need it’s for this woman volunteering at a center that’s using her body to hand out clothes and hand you know it’s like these things aren’t just going to be passed on without our involvement and so
That is a better Mantra than my body my choice yeah this is what we’re up against in our culture where people want to put themselves first and foremost and just do whatever feels good to them and the response to that is actually the message of Christ of all of us are called to
This type of self-sacrificing Love of this is my body given for you and it’s going to look different for different people but if the attitude still is being other focused and willing the others good and and stepping outside of ourselves and then we’re going to flourish we’re going to find fulfillment
Yeah so yeah I agreed it’s so so needed yeah yeah and I also love I feel like I have a lot of women that talk about um yeah they struggle with staying home or working and um and I feel like you it and some in particular that are like I
Was very successful in my line of work and so switching from that to staying home and taking care I would love to hear more of your thoughts and your yeah yeah you know I I’ve been reflecting on that in fact Matt and I were also
Talking about that and so I feel that by the time I settled down so I was 40 when I got married 41 when I gave birth for to Violet um that I felt very full like I had spent at that point 20 years working in the pro-life movement on a
Full-time basis or more than full-time at times and you know I traveled a lot and reached a lot of people and I felt very fulfilled so that when my life started to slow down it was interesting the timing of my personal life slowing down a slowing me down coincided with
Covid where my professional life just was forced to slow down because a lot of events were canceled or things were moved online and so I wasn’t traveling as much right when I was meeting and falling in love with my husband and so I like well this works well cuz I don’t
Want to leave him and then getting pregnant I’m like well this works well cuz I don’t really want to fly too much while I’m pregnant and leave my husband so that by the time Violet came it’s just like it was just the next thing it was the next thing and I’m okay with
That and this realization that I still have things to contribute outside the home but how do I do it in an ordered way where it’s in submission to my main vocation and my main calling and so realizing I actually like the simple life because so much of my life wasn’t
Simple there wasn’t regularity and routine and set dinner times because I was flying here and there and and there can be an adventurous aspect to that and also God gives you the grace when that is your Norm if that’s your calling then he empowers you to do that but there was
A part of me that loves the routine of like what religious lives religious life has right it’s like prayer time play time work time you know a system an ordinariness where when you have children there’s some degree of flexibility but they still really rely on schedule and routine which then
Forces you to do that and um so I’ve yeah really embraced it and love it and just think okay these passions that I have these these gifts that I have that I believe God wants me to share how can I share them in a way that works with
This this new and profound calling and big V vocation that I have so that’s where like writing is something that is easier to do with a baby than traveling is you know um obviously I traveled here so there’s a degree of travel that we still do but um yeah so I I’ve done
Things like and really enjoyed writing more than I have before I’ve always liked it but it’s like okay God has seasons and I I’ve once heard it said like people have this idea like we can do everything and I’ve heard a good response response which is yeah you can
But not all at the same time yeah and not well yeah and not well right so we can we kind have an attitude of mediocrity well at least I did a little bit of everything or saying no how do I thrive in this season with this Niche
Right now and that’s what I did when I was single and and did all that traveling it’s like all that said you were never someone that was like no I’m going to put my family on back burner and Mr Wright on back burner until I do
My career that wasn’t oh yeah know cuz I really wanted yeah so just just so our listeners know weren’t someone that was like no I’m going to do my career and then I’ll get married when I’m 40 that wasn’t you but it was the Lord’s it was
The Lord’s plan for so true and it goes to show also because I can maybe romanticize it now like in hindsight it’s easier to look at that season of My Life as a season that was meant for the singleness I experienced but you’re right when I was in the moment you were
Not loving it I know at all I was like journaling dear Jesus why why haven’t you sent me my husband so so the longing was there which is why I think also when it finally was fulfilled it was easy to make the transition because it was a
Fulfillment of my heart’s desire um but to realize okay there’s seasons and even like what I can do now Ministry wise with a toddler and and a pre-born child versus what I’ll be able to do you know as your kids you’re experiencing with your kids being teenagers or their pre-
Teeners so so to say okay what’s the season right now this isn’t a season forever and what’s great about this season and that’s what you know when I when I longed for a spouse when I didn’t have a spouse over time as I got closer praise God to having my spouse was the
Realization of what do I spend my time focusing on what I’m lacking or what I have because as many people told me like if you focus on what you’re lacking on then when you get what you want you’re going to find new lacks and then are you
Going to spend to much time it will be the fillment of the desire like you’re like okay yes you did get a great husband but he’s not he’s not God and he can’t fill you right right so the realization of okay I need to focus on what’s amazing in my
Life right now and then the next season focus on what’s amazing About That season and while acknowledging it’s not no season is going to be perfect there’s always going to be challenges I’m still sleep deprived you know yes yes and there’s some things where it’s like the
World will also say like that’s a rough season you’re in the fact that you’re not sleeping too much but I think especially as females um like I was just sharing with you some of my friends were sharing like the um there’s been loss of life which is really hard but now it’s
Like are we in premenopause are we like like so for me I felt like my door was slammed shut because I had to have a hysterectomy and so that was really hard for me that I was like I don’t want that door shut yet and then I had friends
That were older than me having more children and they were like oh gosh I don’t know if I want another one and like I’m sorry I’m like no it’s okay that’s where you’re at and I’m desperately I would love just one more you know and I’m like maybe you never
Know and Matt’s like oh honey you don’t have a womb I’m like here’s the thing Mary was a virgin she could be a virgin obviously the Lord could let me a home and have a baby right and it’s like yeah and and then the in between when you
Don’t know and it’s like oh my baby’s five now my baby’s six my baby’s seven like will I never have more and then like you feel like you shouldn’t be able to mourn because there’s some people that have never had any right but that yeah that heavy heart and that mourning
Of well and that’s I I’ve been reflecting on like suffering doesn’t go away it just changes and so I’ve really been thinking how life is about learning to Suffer Well yeah and you know and whenever we suffer in a new way we might think oh I hate this but have we learned
Even just a little bit from the last time and if we apply it now then we’ve made a baby step forward and to be grateful for that and and just each time a new cross comes and I have felt that like even in Parenthood like there’ll be
Like seasons of consolation it’s like oh this is great and then it’s like desolation we have a new challenge and then it’s like and and then when we come out of it I’m like oh I just feel like everything is right right now and then
There’s a little voice in the back of my mind which is like and it’s going to change it’s going to change but then it’s like but until it does be grateful for this moment to breathe yes was it Teresa of Avala or was it Teresa I think
It was Teresa of Avala who begged the Lord to not take her so high because she knew for as high as the um like as high as like the Ecstasy was there the Desolation would be just as deep I think it’s teres of Avala oh I don’t know
Which one but and like beg the Lord like please don’t take me so high anymore it’s amazing when I’m up here and it’s glorious and it’s like like her eyes were like amazing and beautiful and and like pure ecstasy but it was like oh okay here comes the depths of the
Desolation and it’s so hard and yeah like I used to think like to be a saint the path to become a saint the path was the path of Holiness and it’s like oh this is the path of holiest I want to find it and I’m like and I I felt like
The Lord revealing to me time and time again no no no Holiness is the path of suffering like you have a road of suffering that I am calling you down and sometimes there are seasons where the suffering is so um intense and hard and um like we
Both Matt and I have a Devotion to the Sacred Heart and it’s like you’re so close to that Sacred Heart you feel the the Thorns piercing your own heart and it’s so hard but I feel like on those we’re like on a fast track to Holiness and then on times where we’re still
Suffering but not as much and you’re like oh this is easy to offer up I feel like we’re on a longer path you know and there’s different times it’s still suffering but it’s like when we embrace it when we’re like all right Lord yes like give me the grace to and I think
You’re only giv the grace in the moment so like I don’t think you can parent two kids right now you have enough gra to parent one thinking thinking about Labor and postpartum not the time right now have the grace then and as soon as this baby’s born you’ll have the grace for
Two kids and so like even people that are like I’m Discerning I don’t know if I can handle three kids and it’s like you’ll be given more grace when you’re in the moment you can handle more now and I always say Matt could always handle one less child than we had so we
Had one child he couldn’t handle it when we had two he could handle one really really well and then by the time we got four he handled three really well and now there’s been enough time he handles all of our kids great but it’s like the
Grace is like given in the moment yes and the the level of suffering and I I think when we are so like when I’m in the head space and I’m like doing well prayer wise I’m fine with whatever suffering whether it’s spiritual or mental or physical and I’m good but if I
Step away and like numb for too long either by going south to a warm place and then I don’t hurt coming back and it all coming back at once I’m like like it’s so hard or like numbing by like you know watching tons of Netflix or
Whatever and then like okay I need to I need to stop just distracting and focus on it it like coming back like the the very beginning of it when you get hit with the the suffering and the uh the pain um whether it’s mental spiritual or
Physical it’s so hard but once you like I don’t know kind of embrace it and almost see it as like a friend like okay this is a way I can be closer to Christ like you’re given the grace to be able to handle more yes and and you have you
Found that to be true yes and even it makes me think of change versus transition there’s a really great Matthew Kelly clip the the Catholic author and speaker um it’s like a 7-minute clip on YouTube called change versus transition and he talks about how um humans often say they don’t like
Change and he said actually what we don’t like is transition you know someone who wants to lose 30 lbs is going to like the difference between dropping 30 lbs and having 30 pounds but getting there all the things you have to do changing your eating Styles your exercise Styles all your habits that
Transition is going to be hard so I think when we’ve experienced a high then suddenly going from consolation to Desolation it’s like this is jarring to my system yes but then if we can just hold on that even then that desolation as you say where we okay it’s offering
Up or growing deeper in my prayer life or hearing a new message from God that I didn’t have the ears to hear yes when I was too busy because I was almost too happy doing other things and not really listening as much like we we ride that out better once
We’ve made the transition so I think it’s and then when we’re aware of that it’s like okay that’s why this is so hard because it’s jarring it’s sudden it’s different um God give me the strength yeah that’s a really good point I like that and I think even with
Discerning our family size and children it’s like like you you’ve got to do it like little by little and that’s the beauty of NFP where I feel like if you’re on contraception you’re not having the conversation ever where I feel like the beauty of being open in
Life and using NFP you’re having that conversation constantly and there there are days or weeks where you’re like okay it’s different or even earlier I was talking about breastfeeding like if you want to quit write it on the calendar and in one week you could decide if you
Want to quit or not and it’s like okay the thrush is much better or the Misti yeah things have passed things have passed like I’m in a better place and yes I see that my child is doing well like like yeah so you’re you’re in a different place yeah that’s really
Interesting that yeah it’s a great little video clip Chang transition I should watch it yeah I feel like it’s like our road to Calvary right like that the road the journey like that’s so hard where it’s like and if Christ who’s God like struggled with this like you think
About even the you know the night before when he’s in the garden and like please let the cup Pass Me By let the cup Pass Me By like I don’t want to do this yes so obviously me who’s sinful and flawed and weak of course I’m begging for that
Cup to be passed by yeah I mean I’m I’m still praying for some sort of ecstatic birth but I I know there’s another voice in my head that’s going to be like it’s going to be brutal but there’s a part like please God I just I just pray
Through the intercession of my four children that it will be a painfree birth I sneeze and the baby comes out yes did you ever watch what you Expect When You’re Expecting no oh that movie book this is this is a Hollywood movie now there’s a few inappropriate things
But if you get past that it’s hilarious it’s about multiple couples that are expecting children and and they’re very varied circumstances and so there’s this one woman tater tot where everything like she literally sneezes and the twins come out and of course it’s a twin pregnancy and she
Wears like 4inch heels and and and like oh I’ve got to watch it watch not a problem and then it’s this there’s funny relationship so so tater tot is married to this older man who already has a grown son okay so that grown son is married to a woman who is squeak and
Everything goes wrong with her pregs I mean every and it’s just one baby and it’s just one baby and like every negative thing you can imagine that they say can happen with pregnancy she has so I remember when I got pregnant I said to like I’m squeak I know I said to my
Husband I’m going to be tater tot like H oh yeah I’m going to be tater tot and then one day I was like I’m squeaks he he totally reminds me with this baby doing he’s like you are so squeaks like you are so I’m so sorry
That’s me too I have a really high pain tolerance and so I always thought I would be great in pregnancy and child birth and labor I would have thought you would be too right no I labored for months and nothing happened my cervix never like it’s just I have a broken
Cervix that’s right and that’s why you had to have the emergency so with Le yeah so I labored a lot with a lot of kids so my first three I had it 43 weeks 42 weeks 42 and a half weeks oh wow yeah and I labored so much and I remember
Like um asking the doctor and he’s like I’m so sorry so you been in labor for for like a month it’s ridiculous but this baby’s not coming this way you know and I was like but I can I can handle the pain I can you know I can do it nope
NOP but um yeah it it was it was humbling but I I love that I so in Ireland I was in a room with 10 other women when I was trying to have my first baby wait that’s how they do it there it’s free yay free 10 other or there was
10 of us in total so there was five on this side five or six I can’t remember five or six women on this side five or six women on that side and we had little curtains no yeah yeah but once normally before you got to like transition when
It got really bad they would bring you into another room where it’s just one or two women one or two no way yeah so we’re all together and there is a girl who and I’m like I’m my Bell’s out to he my contractions my baby comes in this this
Small like I would look your size on a contraction and I was like this big normally and it was just crazy and so I’m having all these and I’m young I’m like early 20s yeah yeah so thinking I can do this there’s a girl who I can’t
Remember I want to say she was like maybe 15 she was a teen and um and we’re all chatting and there’s older women in there that are like on their tth there’s like and and we’re just all chatting and hanging out and this one girl goes ah um
Anyhow and we’re having a conversation and this one woman’s eyes gets big and like hey honey I’m going to I’m going to get the nurse to check you and I’m like she’s not having the baby like obviously I’m going to have a baby don’t tell me
She’s like she’s like no no no she’s like sweetie how old are you and she told her how over her old she’s like I had my first when I was your age she’s like she’s in labor and um and I was like there’s no way they come in they
She’s 6 cm dilated and they’re like oh we’re going to take you out she’s like I feel fine I really oh there we go I felt it again no yeah yeah they bring her out I felt it again she was back within the hour she didn’t even miss the next meal
With the baby with the baby yep and she’s like hey thanks for your help I guess I was having the baby oh wow and she’s breastfeeding no problem everything was so easy for her and I’m like Huff it and puff it and had the gas
In air and I’m like what is wrong this little tiny girl just did it why can’t I do I know my doctor friends have told me that the young like late teens or early 20s women they’ve delivered it’s just like but see I was early 20s I was like
23 or when what how old was I I was 23 24 you still were young well I don’t know what your excuses but mine is age for sure yeah I was geriatric pregnancy just with Peter okay what is it is it 30 over 355 yeah over 35 you’re considered
Geriatric and so I’m 43 now so definitely geriatric I know someone that was 52 that just had a baby Lord have mercy I would pray to be uh Tater toau if I was 52 like please Lord have mercy I might have been squeaks in all my 40s
But please 52 let me be dat or done you got to watch that movie yeah I need to I’m going to watch it I’m so excited yeah no I’m very like so people will I don’t know like I’ll have people like oh well you did home births I’m like yeah
No I like give off that Vibe for sure but no I am all medical all the way I’m like I’m the emergency C-section that didn’t actually take up all the way and yeah no this is but this is my body giving up for you so that’s that I used
To give a talk um that I called this is my body giv up for you and I talked about my labor with Liam because I was yeah um I was so I had all these contractions they were hoping it was a whole dramatic experience but in the end
I got an epidural and in Ireland you don’t get an epidural unless you have triplets twins you may depending I’m in rural Ireland so I’m sure Dublin or B I’m an American I’m in a very small rural hospital and so when I got an epidural I knew I was in trouble and I
Was seeing a doctor so I knew I was in trouble cuz the midwives do everything and at this point I was hospitalized for like three months so I knew things weren’t going right um but then they got to the point and they’re like okay the
Baby’s in distress we need to get him or her out now right and I’m like okay cut me open and the anesthesiologist is like nope she’s not numb and the doctor’s like I need to get the baby out and I’m like cut me so they tied my arms down
And um so my arms are straight out they tied down yep like a cross and I I can’t remember if my feet were actually tied down or if I just couldn’t move them CU I did have an epidural so when they cut I didn’t feel but as soon as they pulled
I felt until my whole body starts pressure or pain both pressure and pain and I can’t even like I couldn’t scream I just start projectile vomiting the pain is just so they knew by physiological reaction yeah yeah yeah and that’s why they they strapped me
Down so at this point they Rush mat out of the room I’m like convulsing they’re putting a um a mask of something on my hand choke I have no idea all I know is I remember what was going on and I remember like a mask coming over and
Then I don’t remember anything and then when I came to I remember still being strapped down but wanting to know if my baby’s alive or not but my body’s still I’m just convulsing and vomiting and the nurse had this little like peanut looking tray that was this shallow
Supposed to catch your vomit and I’m like I’m like I’m like that a Horror Story oh it’s so bad yeah and it’s going this is not going to be you this is not you I I’m worse than always tell their stories to other women what was your what did you call yourself
From the movie oh squeaks squeaks so I’m like vomits which is way worse than squeaks squeaks looks really good compared to vomits or squirts or whatever and so I’m like covering her vomit and I’m like convulsing and I just want to know if my baby’s alive or not
But I I can’t get words out and and were they still like sewing you up at this point yeah I was still being sewn up and um and I’m just in excruciating pain like just more pain than I’ve ever felt in my entire life um but it was very
Much like this is my body given up for you and then um they eventually said your husband’s downstairs with your son and I remember being just so relieved but then because of all my GI issues um and my they wouldn’t give me pain meds so I was cut pelvic bone to pelvic bone
No zero pain meds they were afraid so Matt was sneaking me in panad doll because they said with my other complications like it would just make things more complicated so they didn’t want to give me pain meds Lord have mercy and so I couldn’t even sit up I
Couldn’t stand I wasn’t walking till like day 10 I don’t think I could stand to day six or 7 wow which was just a lot but I would have like the first 24 48 hours I was I think I was hallucinating so the nurse had my baby at one point
Cuz I’m in a room with all these other women and their babies and um and I remember ringing the bell I’m like oh my goodness something’s wrong with my baby and I was petrified I’m like something’s wrong with my baby I’m not feeling a move I don’t I don’t know what’s going
On I don’t know if he or she’s okay and they’re like okay you had your baby you’re okay do you remember do you remember you had a baby we’re going to go get your baby we’re going to go get your baby show you but I’m just freaking
Out and then I also just really struggled with breastfeeding and so it was excruciating painful and iing everything and one night in prayer I felt like the Lord just telling me and I was like I think I was beating myself up that I wasn’t praying um and I’ve dealt with so many women
Since that were like you know like I remember this one girl she was so sweet and she was telling me how she was up in the middle of the night with her baby and then she’s like and I haven’t done my holy hour I used to do you know twice
A week holy hours and I was like you did your holy hour last night and she’s like no I I haven’t been to church and like and I’m like no last night 3:00 a.m. that was your holy hour feeding your baby the Lord was calling you I’m like
And this is your Theology of the Body like this is you saying I give my body up for you I’m like you literally were feeding your baby suffering through it there was pain and you’re looking at this beautiful gift that’s the Overflow of Love of you and your husband and
You’re saying this is my body given for you yes and this is like by you entering into that the Lord is going to make you a and literally child leaving your right just like we consume Jesus’s flesh like yeah yeah yes seriously receiving your flesh yeah and then like for you to
Leave your baby and go sit in adoration you’re not becoming a saint you’re like struggling with some scrupulosity or something the Lord’s not calling you to that he’s calling you and I’m not saying if you’re a mom you can’t go to adoration you can but take your baby
With you yeah oh I took Violet all the time and she would blow like raspberries at Jesus because that’s what Joe always did to her and I’m always like I bet God’s blowing them back yes but yes this is my body given for you like this is it
And it’s a gift I I think it’s such a gift as a mom and as someone that did it horribly I was horrible at being pregnant and horrible at having babies and breastfeeding I was so bad at it I desired it so much um and now hindsight
I see it and now your kids are thriving as teenagers so it worked but it’s it’s gift right like and and it is it’s through that suffering it’s through and I think that’s part of where we as Catholics are so blessed to see our lady
Yeah you know and see how she’s done it and suffered through it and were United to her Immaculate Heart well and one of the things I reflect on in the book is that before Jesus gave his body for us she gave her body for him yeah you know
Before blood and water we think of the Divine Mercy image blood and water gushed forth from his side blood and water gushed forth from her she was in labor with him you know he said you know um thy you know not I if this may it be
This cut pass for me but not my will but yours be done but before he said that she said her Fiat right may it be done to me according to Thy word so like you know Jesus is the ultimate example of my body for you and yet as women we can
Look to his mother and realize she’s a pretty good example of that too and in fact TimeWise she she did all of that so that he could be the ultimate example of that to us yeah yeah isn’t that amazing yeah such a gift I know it’s beautiful
And that’s why again we’re attracted the true to the true the good and the beautiful and so even in the heart even in the cross even in the suffering we can’t help but deny the beauty of of what love looks like in these hard situations and like your brutal story at
The same time is like but oh my gosh like she did that and she’s here today and her kids are here right and I don’t think it’s me I don’t think it’s me saying cut me open I think it’s any mom I think if the scenario was the exact
Same you would have said the same thing you like cut me open what you need to do what you need and then Matt was gone because he went with the baby which I’ve said to Joe like if anything goes south like you follow that baby do not let
That baby be out of your sight like leave me let the doctors do what they do but you follow that maybe he’s like don’t worry I will like good good yes that’s what you want yeah yeah yeah yeah and it is and I think this is part
Of I don’t know we were uh I had uh Carrie grass Grace oh Carrie Grass Grass yes yeah yeah yeah she’s great uh yeah and we’re talking about femininity and you know the feminist movement and it’s like this like what we’re talking about here like that’s the True Heart of a
Woman and so beautiful and that’s what our world like is starved of and needs and it’s like that is so much more powerful and I don’t know how to articulate it but it’s like yes like that and then in the suffering in the breaking of your your body you know like
This is yeah literally ripping yeah yeah ripping stretching whether it’s whether it’s a C-section or a vaginal delivery literally being breaking the body yeah yeah ripped this is my body broken for you yeah yeah yeah like how Eucharistic is motherhood pregnancy and motherhood yeah it’s it’s totally it’s totally
Eucharistic and yeah but from the crucifixion comes the resurrection yeah and I don’t know yeah that’s exactly right and I don’t know what’s more like the um the suffering and the cross of actually birthing the baby or losing the baby that broken suffering like like I
Don’t know like and I I’ve done both and you’ve done both but like right I think there was like we definitely had a birthing of um mourning and suffering and pain and um yeah and I feel like it’s a weird world in which we live where like you
Can’t even share that or people don’t get it right CU they’re like oh well it wasn’t really a baby right yeah they’ll say that oh or you don’t feel good I’m sorry you must you know like like prior to actually having a miscarriage I don’t think anyone knows what you actually go
Through yeah cuz even like over the years people would consult me you know we’re having a miscarriage you know what do we do and of course I’d never been pregnant but I would talk about you know as much as you can preserve the blood you know do that and then I experienced
My own miscar I mean every pad I would save because I was like I I don’t know if the baby’s in here but then we passed the gestational sack like it was just so obvious but it was only through the experience I was like okay the baby’s
Here like you know even though the baby was too small the sack was visible the baby was very tiny inside so it’s like okay now I know like all the other stuff that was blood like this this contains our child but still to the naked eye we
Couldn’t see the baby right like Joe still baptized what we knew was the sack containing the baby but our eyes couldn’t see it but we could see with the eyes of our soul and just trust that okay this is my body given for you that
It is only through my body that you have come into existence that you have lived a life on Earth that allows you to pass into the life of heaven and had you not had my body you wouldn’t be right and so so to realize yeah e even in miscarriage
Even in loss it’s like still this is my body given for you yeah yeah heavy stuff it is it’s so heavy and I remember passing plots and questioning is this and I was like I bet it is I bet and I never passed um the
Sack I could oh you never yeah and again it depends how far long you are and I was far enough along but it had to come out with a DNC I hindsight my endometriosis everything was like super glue in there and everything was just so
Messed up and so sick and so yeah yeah I had like keloids and scar tissue and endometriosis and like just which makes the four children you have a miracle and I’ve reflected on that with Violet in this one yeah the Doctor Who did my hysterectomy specializes in endometriosis and he’s like you
Shouldn’t have carried a baby to term he’s like like yeah he’s like I mean I don’t think you should have conceived but maybe I’d say maybe you can conceive but he’s like I would have said you couldn’t have carried one to turn wow cuz I was stage four
Endometriosis back before I ever met Matt so back when I was like 19 yeah stage four is the worst right I don’t think you’ll be on four stages yeah yeah yep that’s it and and so it’s like they are like they’re pure gifts and I’m so
Grateful and thankful and and I have a bunch of other female issue stuff too um cuz your typical endometriosis person’s great when they’re pregnant and they feel wonderful and I was crazy sick and and usually then it flares after right yeah I stayed flared all the time but
You know praise God praise God it’s all good my kids would like make fun of me so like when I was so times that I’ve been suffering like they’ll do imitations and they like good day mate how’s it going and they they’re like Aussie accents like oh oh oh this hurts
Oh this popped out Praise You Jesus and I’m like that is so I mean that’s adorable I mean it’s mean and I’m offended roasting they’re roasting me but I’m like at least they know like it up you know and that we can have comedy
I mean at least I mean if you can laugh in the moments of suffering it provides a levity that again lifts that cross a bit yeah yeah yeah exactly Praise You Jesus well thank you so much we will all be praying for you all right tell our listeners where they can get your
Amazing wonderful beautiful people can get my body for you a pro-life message for postro world at um the St Paul Center so amus Road publishing is through there and if they go there and put in the coupon code Lily 15 and they get a discount so
My body for you at the St Paul Center great thank you so much I really appreciate it yeah so good having you on it’s yeah thank you for letting me share you with all my listeners you’re welcome I shared my time with my wonderful beautiful friend with you so I hope you
Enjoy it like subscribe share whatever I don’t know how to do all this stuff because I’m busy being a mom so you guys take care of that for me thank you I appreciate it all right God bless bye-bye
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