Yo what’s going on back we got so much to talk about this week you know we can unpack like these convers see a pedicure depends on his Fe they could beet what’s up what’s up Tam we in person we not back conversations going on he be doing this stuff new here go
Ahead and click that follow subscribe button Tik Tok Instagram Facebook we don’t we we everywhere yo we everywhere like literally everywhere yo yo what’s going on everybody happy Tuesday and welcome back to the back pew conversations I’m your co-host Tim and I’m Tam what’s good Tim
What’s up Tam what’s going on with you sis it’s another Tuesday and I’m ready to get into these topics hey you already know I’m ready to get up into them as well and we guys we thank you guys for joining us here on a Tuesday night it is great weather this
Time last week it was like 52 degrees here in Dallas we hitting like 77 a day it was pretty nice but nonetheless how was it down there for you thank you um the weather’s perfect um there have been no clouds coming from the east or the West um so it’s been
Great it’s just been amazing absolutely amazing well we hope the weather is great where you all are tonight we hope that you are just chilling out you got your favorite snack your favorite drink and thank you for joining us and once again please click like subscribe please
Follow us on all the social media chat chats and outlets and everything else there because as we say we’re everywhere so definitely come follow us because we gonna get into some great conversations last but not least join the conversation we love to be interactive comment below we will definitely get to your comments
As they come in so Tam where are we starting tonight with some of these explosive conversation topics listen we’re gonna start with the very last one you sent me right before we join live which is the Megan the stallion beef has it gone too
Far so um you did to me actually a photo I guess uh from is it from TMZ uh where they are actually what are they doing looking at the mother’s grave what’s going on ttim yeah that was insane to hear that the so pretty much the backstory uh
Megan stallion came out with a new album called his and as a result what’s up J solo 254 C than for tuning in for the first time my brother welcome like subscribe and so I I believe there was some lyrics in her song discussing maybe
Where her mom was buried and as a result now the funeral or the the cemetery is on high alert because they want to pull her her mom’s corpse up from the grave and do some crazy mess to it what did you think about this Tam uh first of
All oh I was about to say something but this is not that kind of show okay so I thought it was a a little bit crazy I saw I saw this shade room photo where now the police are involved and you know what I’m just going to say about this
Whole thing is first of all I didn’t like either one of their diss tracks okay I didn’t take any one of their diss tracks too serious so the fact that people are actually taking it one step further finding this lady’s mother putting the address online and thinking about doing
Something crazy like what alternate universe are we living in where it gets that deep like we outlived the ’90s for the east and west coast stuff like nobody’s ever decided to go to somebody’s grave and do something crazy so to me when we talking about has it gone too far Absol freaking
Lutely yeah it has it’s gone too far why are we even discussing what y’all trying to do with the mom’s corpse let that lady rest in peace let her let her body rest in peace please like this is just ridiculous really ridiculous and would you what do you think about the diss
Tracks you ain’t said nothing about that yet I don’t really pay all that stuff no man to be honest with you like it’s just I feel like where music is and where hip hop is today it’s just it’s like super ghetto it just doesn’t make super ghetto
I’m not even jumping into that what what do you think cuz I’m not even into that type of mess anymore listen um I’m old school I’m very much old school so when I I heard the Megan Megan’s Law little situation and then I heard the the
Outcry from the Megan’s Law because I I didn’t know what Megan’s Law was so I didn’t know was about a little girl so that got a little bit too deep for me so I don’t I don’t play around with you know stuff like that so the fact that
She I I get it rappers used play on words but sometimes you can go too far and then for um the rebuttal to Megan’s Law to be Bigfoot or whatever it’s called I was like this is I’m how old are y’all it’s ridiculous yeah it’s it’s
Just I don’t know that’s just me I I got nothing I got nothing for real so all right what’s on the cut it short we gonna move on we gonna get into the next we be wiing out man we be walling out too much for real so listen
I think you sent this to me too Gil King lets a in she’s known for 60 days borrow some money for child support um we actually have the video for this of her actually discussing this whole situation so let’s actually get into what she said do you think you could lend me
$4,000 I’m like oh God ask what it’s for he said yeah it was for a a child support issue so that was short okay so what do you think about this situation Tim I mean she pretty much said that she while she lent this man some money she lent him
$4,000 while they were dating for two months he had an issue with child support she loaned him the money and then he Lo he actually gave her the money back on time so so it really was alone but she said that it changed the perception of how she looked at the relationship after
That she I would say she’s probably valid in in the way where she probably was afraid that if this man is asking me for money two months in what will this look like down the line yeah yeah is it going to be cons are you going to consistently
Ask me for money when you get into a bond even though you paid me back but the fact that you asked for such a large amount and we don’t know how long ago this was see $4,000 today in 2024 is a lot of money but if we’re talking back
In the day it’s $4,000 probably $10,000 back then yeah and so you have to factor in this guy’s really asking for so much money because he had an issue that he didn’t deal with and so I can see it from a woman’s point of view why there
Could be some trepidation why you’d want to date him or go further because maybe maybe that sign is showing you that but also on the flip side of it some brothers will probably look at it in like and say man life just happens sometimes you have some situations that just happen to good
People you have unfortunate H situations that happen to good people and if that’s the case don’t we want to extend Grace to that person there is that ele right there of extending some Grace but also setting a boundary because that because Gail King could have also said I really like you I
Hope you this one time but listen you can’t you can’t make this a pattern you know so I I could I’m I’m a diplomatic person for those of y’all who who know me and know me well I’m very diplomatic I try to see things from both sides and
But I can see from the woman’s point of view but I can also see the man saying well dang like life happens life can happen and then are you gonna are you gon is that a three strikes against me in that situation so that’s kind of how
I see it first blance what you think ttim uh throw it all away um do not collect $200 just keep going keep just drive the car as fast as you can just just book it out of there you know that’s that’s what she did and that’s what she was meant to
Do um I don’t I don’t you know 60 days is not long enough to be you know asking somebody to borrow money you have family you have friends you also have payday loans okay yeah a lot of opportunities I mean is your credit bad as well why do
You need to ask me for no interest loan I mean there’s just to me as a woman there’s so much wrong with this and I’m not saying that women can’t ever be in a position to give a man money that I don’t want to say that but I will say
Two months and you’re dating this person when you think about a woman what we’re looking for that’s a vetting period it’s a it’s a vetting thing to see whether not this is somebody that I can rely on this is somebody I can be vulnerable with this is somebody that could
Potentially keep a roof over my head this is somebody who is stable this is somebody who takes care of his finan this is somebody who takes care of his kids like when you’re thinking about all the things in regards to what she was giving away when she let that man borrow
The money it was like none of that showed any kind of evidence that he was capable of continuing a relationship with her now had they been in a relationship and like you said maybe he fell on Hard Times life happens you know life happens to all of us but if she had
No previous evidence of he of him him being a provider him being good with his money him having good credit him taking care of his kids she had no previous evidence of that you you’re walking and fresh into this brand new relationship and the only evidence you have is hey
Can I borrow a couple thousand dollars to for my child support that to me is a huge red flag it’s a red flag I can see that I could definitely see that Tim Brandon says why is Gail smashing this guy why is he smash why is
She smashing this guy Tim I do we know that she was smashing the TW Monon guy now do you really think she gave the money away without trying a piece sampling is what we call it uh okay well she sampled she you best believe she clearly it
Wasn’t that good because she didn’t want any more of the free samples and well they weren’t free so that’s not true maybe he maybe he was good he probably he was so good he probably felt like he could ask that question like oh yeah I put it
Down D I put it D can I get some see and look at what was said here Gail g more than money thank you thank you my older brother thank you you’re like not you with the other CH he’s mess that’s crazy that’s C allegedly allegedly she gave away more of the
Money I didn’t know she allegedly she allegedly didn’t get that cookie away she just gave $4,000 to a man $4,000 back then was $10,000 so she lit she gave this man $10,000 and he ain’t l no pipe lies she said it wasn’t worth it I don’t no
Wor that I don’t think it okay maybe in that case it wasn’t maybe the red flag she she wasn’t a dumb lady she was smart she had like a whole trajectory in front of her of of a life and broadcast journalism so she probably was smart enough to say okay
I’mma leave him where I’m at because I’m not even putting myself in that position but he definitely sampled the cookie okay no I feel I feel like if if there was some sampling going on this sampling wasn’t great and the borrowing of the money was a cherry on top of the
Freaking cake or the ice cream whatever you want to put it so it was like oh it ain’t good and you borrowing money our brother Tim Brandon is back he says dude smashed and Gail g gave Gail loaned him the money because it was good I’m let y’all don’t want to know
Y’all don’t want to believe the truth you know actually I don’t want to keep having thoughts of Gil King smashing anyway I mean y’all brought it up it it was one of you Tims that wasn’t me I think it was the other two all right let’s get into the next
Topic Tim um we have Charleston white on a very serious topic about who destroyed the black family so we actually have that video so let’s get into what he had to say who’s destroying the black family I say the black man when Daddy show up saying I’m this kind of man and Mama
Believe him and daddy find out to be a lying mother what white man is involved in that what system come on now if you go back and ask your mama mama why you and Daddy not married she ain’t going to S no white man no she not come on now no she not
Say your daddy left me your daddy got caught cheating with another woman he had another baby over here he used to beat me yeah what white man did that a no white man did that that’s on us come on now nobody believes in a black man he can’t fix nothing
Dam he can barely fix himself I why don’t nobody believe in him he constantly disrespects his wom no the race does that facts yeah so nobody will ever take us serious that was heavy so you being a black man yes how do you feel about what Charleson
Said um there’s a lot of validity to what he was saying who destroyed the black family that’s the question um I I would definitely say we as black men have to take a lot of responsibility for the state of our homes or the broken homes that our women
Are living in our children are living in um are we completely blameless no but we need to take responsibility for where we currently are everything he said as far as and it sounded like honestly he was clearing his own conscious from some of the mistakes that
He probably made as well as a as a black man and what he’s doing is he’s throwing a Lifeline to other black men saying we are the problem how do we fix this problem I just he just threw out all the things that we did wrong and have
Done and is now a matter of I feel as men instead of pointing the finger on who who’s done wrong and all these other things it’s just now a matter of saying where have I fallen short that’s what we need to start doing where have I fallen short and how can I
Fix and correct the deficiencies in who I am so that we can build a stronger family a stronger culture you know how big I am about elevating the culture but it starts with us and I do believe it starts with me you gotta find you find more men at sporting
Events you see you see more of us black men at sporting events at bars at clubs more than you see them at PTA meetings or you see them at um at at like Mentor programs or anything of those things you find us at places where we’re nonproductive compare compared to being
More productive and and putting into our community those are things we got to take full responsibility for and so that’s where I believe is like yes we can constantly have these conversations around who’s more responsible and all that but listen just play your part play your position and watch things get better
Yeah one thing I feel like we don’t talk about enough or we do blame shifting I think each generation has a different thing that is the demise of the black family and I think a lot of people in our generation you and our generation they will use that excuse
That the white men is the demise of the black family now I love white people I love the ones that love me um so I’m G throw that out because I’m about to go somewhere and I want y’all to stay with me if y’all not black but for the white race
That caused the separation of black men and black women and black children in a period of time that was absolutely the demise of the black family right I completely agree with that for the black men and women that maybe were in incarcerated for doing nothing right the overpopulation of
Black people that were incarcerated in in a period of time all right I would also say the same thing for Our Generation I can’t I can’t say it’s the white man that’s responsible for who’s destroying the black family like to your point I have to look at like where where
Are we missing a step and I you know one of the things that I hate like these divorce parties the the celebration of of not understanding what men and women bring to the table and I hate that term but not understanding our value that we have together and how powerful we are
Together and then when we’re raising our children to be whole and healthy and for them to see what love looks like and to continue to push that into our community so our communities can be a reflection of what our homes look like but we have so much Brokenness inside of our homes
That our communities now look like the Brokenness that we have in our home so when we talk about who destroyed the black community like I completely agree yeah there’s some fault on men but absolutely there’s still some fault on women there’s some fault on both sides
And um I feel like we have to take accountability and ownership where we have the fault we can’t just be like all right let’s just we’re gonna start no we gotta if we don’t figure out where we messed up we’re just going to repeat that cycle so at some point we have to
Look at ourselves look at ourselves in the mirror look at our family look we like all right I’m not going to do that anymore I’m not going to repeat this this is a cycle and sometimes we don’t have to see it in ourselves we can see
It in people around us to know okay all right I don’t want to repeat that cycle not just for my home but for my community and if I know that extends to my community I know it expands everywhere so I I don’t agree with Charleston a lot when he he gets on here
There’s some things that I do agree with but I think what he said is is absolutely worth a deeper conversation and understanding family and and understanding men like I I really wish I know I was like I hate to be like put the responsibility on men but I didn’t
Do that God did right so when we talk about leaders and being able to follow men and why women are so loose these days it started with a whole bunch of men it started with men and it started with gangsters and it started it started with um gangs and it started with rap
Music and now you see the women following those same patterns that the men have always done they that they have been doing a couple decades now and now you’re like why are women so modern and so so this and so that but you can’t see yourself you you can’t see that the
Woman is a reflection of you and what you’ve been putting in the atmosphere for so long so you know but women we should be accountable just because it’s out there don’t mean we we got to fall into doing that as well you know we have to have some accountability in in that
As well so it’s it’s very it’s a very slippery slope because it’s like I want to I want to follow me I want to trust that you can follow the man that you see and know that he’s the man that you see and I want to also trust women that even
When the man isn’t showing up as a leader or the best representative of himself that doesn’t mean you also don’t have to so I think it’s just worth a deep conversation yeah that’s good Tim that’s good I love it we’re gonna get to some of these comments too my beautiful wife
Hello Miss Ali says I think we should focus Less on who destroyed it and more on who is going to repair it I’m honestly tired of the blame game who is gonna do better first that’s a great Point um we do spend a lot of time focusing
On who destroyed the black family but we do have to focus on the solution because we’re so as a society we’re so problem focused and so problem based instead of being more solution oriented and solution based let’s start looking at what part can you play have you
Played what part can you play going forward and then try to improve upon it so I I get I get that wholeheartedly as well thank you Tim says there are outside factors that contributed to the destruction of the black family through governmental welfare programs that
Require men to be out of the house for the mothers to get welfare assistance 100% you’re absolutely right yes that is definitely an outside factor to on how the black family never really was able to stand firm as a family in the first place due to those welfare programs those government assistant programs
Where men had to literally be out out of the house while they literally had all their stuff in the house and and then once you knew that they were having the appointments for se8 and everything else yes you’d have to leave the house the man would have to be
Gone so yes there’s those factors absolutely but you know we’re talking 50 to 60 years of the same oppression that you know because back in the day yeah those opportunities weren’t there now they are now those opportunities are more available in our communities and so we could definitely talk about the
Outside fact to some degree we also have to talk about how our mind has been programmed for for a long time well before welfare programs there was still the fall of Man and because of the fall of Man even from a Biblical aspect we don’t talk about how that shapes us and
Shapes our minds even today thousands of years later we don’t talk about that but it’s the truth so we do have to look at it not just men are the only problem it’s how we gonna fix it it goes back to alli’s Point how are we gonna fix it it
Really means okay Sin is Sin we how do we fix this part on how our thinking has been distorted for so many years how do we fix it that’s good that’s good I’m not gonna on it I can stay there all day but you know is know no
I know she I know you can I know you can but guys pull up some statistics we go we can go there if you want to but we we will be here all night doing that but nonetheless we thank y’all for joining us here on the Tuesday night definitely
Click that follow subscribe and like button definitely share with the friends and join the conversation comment below we look forward to hearing from you because we will get to you so what we got next on the docket Tam Tyrese’s thoughts on child support speaking of a assistance please tell us about this one
So Ty he he took two uh video so we have a little clip of that so let’s get into what he actually said verbatim Is This Love or just a transaction right because how how many more how many more divorce trials are we going to see where a 2-year-old ends up
With $300,000 a month now I don’t know where y all from but there is no such thing as a three-year-old who needs $300,000 a month all right so I know child support is a very touchy touchy subject for some sorry I saw a comment for some people I’m just proud of him
Crying crying about something how you going act like that you know pretty much that’s what he’s saying how you g How You Gonna Act Like That judge How You Gonna Act Like That and give her $300,000 a month in child support sideways why you sideways gosh why I sideways
Child all right you good now I hope so that’s going on a blooper real okay um but no seriously dude you make millions and millions of dollars a year in some way shape or form from touring to ticket sales to you know movies yo you you make you make
Royalties off of every Fast and Furious movie you’ve ever been in the royalty checks be hitting kind of good you mean to tell me now while 300,000 sounds like a lot to us but dude that’s a drop in a bucket for you and it’s not and even
Though you don’t like the woman that is going to dude it’s still your child you decided to have a woman you a child with her get married with her and everything like that how you gonna act like that I mean how you gonna go in here and
Talk about this to me I just don’t agree with it at all you are pissed that you got get $300,000 a month put I mean yo it’s for your kids’s future he may he may need that money down the line shoot inflation going up all
Right I don’t um I try not to talk about child support but I think what some people fa to realize is that it’s supposed to support your child in the manner as if you were still PR so for the normal kid said $300,000 may seem very extreme I don’t
Know how much he makes or if he’s just embellishing that number right I don’t know how much Tyrese makes he don’t act like he make a lot all the time but anyways so um um is this you supposed to be able to sustain the lifestyle that your kid had
When you when you were allegedly or supposedly with the mother or as if you were primary custodial of the child so if that’s the case like if you are in a a mansion guess what your kid should have the same luxury and lifestyle as their parent like why would you want to
Be in a mansion but your kid is not we have this ideology that we we say we work really hard for our kids we do it all for our kids I’m grinding so my kids can have more than me and then when you put your kid in the position you’re like
He wait a minute I didn’t get $300,000 when I was a kid wait a minute like what are they going to do with that but you like you the lie you tell is that you’re doing all of this in support of your child so here in Texas you know it’s
Based on percentages in terms of the child support right so in terms of those percentages it’s a drop in the bucket in terms of what your full amount is so for him to be whining like this c a river you know do I think there are some very
Extreme cases absolutely but hey nobody told you to put yourself in a position to have to pay child support we talk about this all the time like if you don’t want to do this kind of stuff guess what you can get married you can marry somebody and be equally Yol with
Them you don’t have to worry about this this stuff that the world is worried about for you to be professing and proclaiming to be Christian but you’re dealing with the same worldly issues and you’re complaining about your sin like to me like I don’t know it’s just contradictory let me say something about
The the the system itself you’re right the system is broken and it has deficiencies around the child support system it it there are issues around it not every situation is fair but my thing is save the broken system for the people that are really trying to fight through it as opposed to
Tripping about it when you make millions of dollars this is not your conversation sir you feel me it’s not like this is not for you you tripping about $300,000 a month are you kidding me families don’t make $300,000 a year and they out here struggling in the
Middle of inflation an election year uh a possible recession on the on the horizon and you sitting here complaining about $300,000 a month that you make that you got to send over to the other parent to keep the lifestyle that you already had for your child the system is
Not for you to even discuss I need you to not say anything else about it that’s how I feel as a parent so we got some comments Tim this lady says what happened to the Sweet Lady days yeah I don’t know yeah he he ain’t he
Ain’t sweet lady no more he’s just mad man what does Tim Brandon say so Tim says if I were a judge I would require him to put a couple of million in a trust fund earning 5% to 10 per interest per year that’s pretty fair I mean it is
What it is but once again you know in these cases can do we really have to tell them what to do with their money on what whatever kind kind of living expenses I mean it’s not a linear process and it’s not a linear system so why that makes sense in theory who are
We to say because that situation isn’t ours yeah Shena what’s going on sis hope you’re having a good one uh let’s see uh shenica says do you think we feel the same if women had to pay child support I guess she so she’s asking would would
We feel the same if it were a woman having to pay that amount yes I’m pretty sure I’m pretty sure feel some kind of way wouldn’t you I would feel the same yeah if I yeah I was like I feel like if the shoe were reversed I don’t feel like
Women would complain about it as much as as much as I hear men complain about it because dare I say this women are the majority that step up anyway so paying a percentage of what you already doing don’t seem like a lot to me in my opinion if somebody was like yeah you
Just PID 25% for your kids rather than what I’m a th% of what I’m doing right now trust me here you go if I didn’t you know if I didn’t care to you know take care of my kids so to be complaining about something that you were going to do 100% of anyway
That to me I’m just like what are we talking about and my wife even says there are women who do and she can attest to that straight up so it’s a fact and women just do what they gotta do we we want to complain about it and it’s once again
It’s once rooted in selfishness it’s rooted in selfishness and that’s where you got to be just very careful because when God give it God could take away you want to be very careful I don’t care how talented you are sir be very careful because you can end
Up bankrupt at any given time and your your toling noise of singing act How You Gonna Act Like That ain’t gonna go well in them uh in them Las Vegas show girl rooms okay so I just I just would left Las Vegas show escalated what we got next oh we got another
Comment yeah you’re I said it most of the time child support don’t even be enough to feed the kids for the month that’s true feed the kids look pay pay their side of the mortgage shoot I’d be in a one listen I would be in a one
Bedro living my best life I didn’t have any kids I bet my best life yeah yeah I gonna say it but right you you know y’all got the Brady Bunch over there you already know exactly you want to come babysit Brady Bunch while we take one of them
One of those like um flights to uh Dubai or something like that on your dime on your dime no no who would want to do that it was worth a try no no you pay me my brother I got you yeah we we’ll pay you we just we need some of those miles
Though oh my gosh all right let’s get into the um next topic which was would you date a Uber driver so there’s a podcast talking about this so we have a little bit of that clip so let’s get into it okay you drive Uber that’s all
You do yeah I drive Uber from the time the sun comes up to the time the sun comes down that’s a lot of driving yeah so how much money do you make go ahead goad I make $48,000 a year no why what’s wrong with 448,000 a year
Drive Uber it’s not enough why isn’t it enough because I just said you have to be able to take care of you and then also be able to provide a lifestyle I’m used to or more that’s less than what I made you’re not going to be able to do
Both yeah your ass going to be at both Partner excuse me ma’ news flash ain’t too many Rich [ __ ] up on the stage outside of J how the [ __ ] you want me to be a goddamn multi-millionaire you ain’t seen no multi or no Millions from your goddamn ass hello it’s crawl walk run maybe I’m starting a delivery service maybe I’m
Starting a driver service maybe I’m starting my own business and I’m working for Capital maybe I’m building an empire cuz godd damn it sometimes the janitor ends up owning the building how about you goddamn try to find a [ __ ] the fact that I work from sun up to sun down is
Not good enough for you it’s crazy hello when in the hell did work e go out the [ __ ] door I’m willing to work Sun up and sun down for you and it’s not enough I probably did I probably treated you better than your daddy treated baby daddy treat [ __ ]
Ex-boyfriend treat you telling me that working from sun up to sun down is not enough yes ma’am please kindly Park your Uber Becka Department uh apologies for all the cuss words he said all of them all of them apologies yeah um yeah yeah so what would you so out of all of that that he said would you date a new driver you just gonna like Aly that like yes hands down
Yes can I ask followup questions is this the only job he has he just said that’s the only job he has working 16 hours a day so I think I think it’s worth continued conversation in terms of like long-term goals plans Financial Outlook ambition like I think it’s worth
The conversation I can’t say right now in the season of my life if somebody was making $48,000 and they just decided they’re going to be an Uber driver until the end of time I don’t really know making 48k sun up to sun down that’s what you’re making annually
I don’t I don’t necessarily know if I would be like comfortable with that because I’d be like all right so what’s next you know what else are you doing do you have ambition do you need help are you going to school are you going to own
A business I would have a lot of questions I I think most people that I know they do lift and Uber on the side to make extra money so it’s like 48k on top of their normal N9 to-5 um but I don’t see anything wrong with
Somebody you know driving a uber lift if that’s your jam I don’t see anything wrong with it I think I have a problem with him making seem like women should just accept a man that works hard I know a lot of men that work hard at their
Level but it doesn’t mean that woman’s on the same level as you so to try to put her on the same level as you demean her or just um make her feel like crap because she’s not okay with mediocre I think there’s something wrong with that
And I think there are a lot of men out here who try to Bro women and try to demean women to make them accept below their their level and that to me is a huge problem you know that to me is a huge problem because I’m never going to look at somebody and
Say crap about whatever level they’re on I’m just going to acknowledge just like I don’t see my I don’t see me and Bill Gates ever having a conversation unless I get to that level or I just know somebody that know somebody that know somebody that know somebody but if I’m
Not on that level why would I have an attitude about knowing Bill not like why is Bill Gates not not marrying somebody that like I wouldn’t that Concept in my mind it doesn’t even make sense I wouldn’t expect Oprah to do it she’s a billionaire the concept in my
Mind doesn’t even make sense so because you feel like you get the date on your level or any level you give women the standard that she has to to date below her level I don’t like it I don’t like it that’s all I got to say that’s fair that’s fair okay so you
Know your brother’s kind of a math whz right okay to some degree all right this man makes $448,000 a year the about 12 uh 48 okay yeah we gonna do I’m gonna break it down to you for you okay 48,000 a year he said he
Works 16 hours a day let’s say he works 16 hours a day five days a week that’s 80 hours a week let’s also put in the fact that 80 hours a week times 52 is 4,160 hours that meant that that man worked a total of 4
4,160 hours now on a full-time job on average you get paid for 2,80 hours a year 280 hours a year so we just identified that this man makes he has to work double 4,160 hours a year to make $48,000 a year which equates to $10.42 an hour he made
$110.42 per hour that he worked for 4,160 so he’s overworked for $10 which is actually below the national minimum wage so let me get this you expect a woman in 2024 to date you because you’re an Uber driver working 16 hours a day but sir you’re not even maximizing what you could be
Doing with those 16 hours a day if you’re only making $10 an hour just being honest with you from that aspect first of all however like you did mention T if you are doing other things to supplement I don’t know how you supplem 4,160 hours for that year but if somehow someway you
Are doing something to put put yourself in a position to uh have people have someone under you or or with you to where y’all can live a suitable and sufficient life together then yeah let’s have a conversation but other than that you should be spending way more time uh
Doing something in addition to being an Uber driver I’m just saying because this is what we talked about since we talking about how you know uh would you date a Uber driver if I work 16 hours a day no let’s let’s break this down that don’t even make
Sense yeah and do you even have time to date no no 4, hours a day do you have eight more hours of sleep 16 hours a day there 24 hours in the day you got eight more hours to sleep and you what you gonna
Do I can think only thing I can think of doesn’t take much time but that’s not dating okay that’s not dating so you don’t have time to date you don’t have time for nothing right now this is this is just a a weird season my daughter was making
More than $10 an hour for her first job in 2024 $15 an hour Chick-fil-A so to me it just the math doesn’t matter you think you for the math now that I understand the math it’s still on math okay on math and it’s not just say and if it’s supplemental that’s cool that’s
Dope ain’t nobody knocking you for that well we got some comments Tim says Uber and lift is cool because you’re a contract laborer dope exactly he also says I’m an Uber and lift driver and as an auto dealer I provide car for other Uber and lift drivers and and they rent
My cars that’s great really appreciate you for throwing it out there you got you’re a business man svy however you you’re uber and a lift driver so I’m pretty sure that that’s not your primary job I would doubt to believe that you would do that for 16 hours a day just being
Honest done with that one what we got next Tam this one pretty simple so this is a question that came from the archive for you and I it was can fathers set expectations to high where your daughter is incapable of finding a good dude is it you think there’s
A I don’t know do you think there’s an issue in the expectation that good Fathers set for their daughters or how do you feel about that as a father I don’t care I mean [Laughter] I mean can fathers set expectation there’s no thing is expectations too high I’m
Not expecting the young man to be me I’m expecting him to love and respect my daughters yeah like I love and respect my daughters the same example that I’m giving you if I’m passing her over to you I’m expecting you to treat her the same way she was treated prior to her me
Giving her hand over to you and so if I’m giving her the love the care the nurturing the protection and all those things that are associated with that that’s what she’s supposed to see and she’s supposed to Choose Wisely too she got a good example so you know what it’s
Supposed to look like if it don’t look like it leave that sucker to the streets and so I never apologize for that if if he feels like oh man you just keep comparing me to your dad I went want you want them to be comparing them to me as
Far as who I am or the core of who I am but the different characteristics and the traits and the love and the respect that they see that I give their mother absolutely yeah that means you need to come up to my level and that’s in that
Aspect so yeah does that answer you a question it does it does as a woman who had a very active father um sometimes I feel like my dad set the expectation is really high in comparison to what I see out here in this world with um with other xwi I said
XY and somebody got mad at me that I call how dare you call him XY anyway so I’m doing that just for that person uh for other U men um and I think that comes to like you said you know when a father is a really good
Example of what a man should be when he is you know when you open the door for your little girl when you pay for dinner for your little girl when you you know walk with her and tell her to walk on you know you’re going to walk on the
Outside she’s going to walk on the inside well yeah the inside so all of those things that you know traditionally a good father exposes to to his daughter and then I would say spoil but I don’t even see it as spoiling it’s just like you are outwardly showing her love in
Whatever capacity that a father shows his daughter so I think traditionally as we get older we kind of expect all men to be like our fathers we’re looking and when people say they you know you marry your dad or whatever I think ideally we look to marry somebody who shows up in
That behavior and when they don’t it’s like who are like what like what who hurt you what’s your problem like we we try to you know find that person and when we don’t we sometimes come across like d did my dad set this expectation too high because a lot of guys don’t
Carry these qualities or these behaviors and then there’s some guys that do you know so I’m not I’m not going to say all guys are the same but there’s some guys that do but I would say in my personal opinion especially in this generation it’s a lot of men that don’t have the
Exposure on how to treat a woman until they have daughters well a good a good man you know until they have daughters and when they have daughters it’s like oh this is sounds supposed to you know treat her she’s delicate she’s this she’s that so I think it’s like it’s
It’s a win in you know also a loss for for women because we have this perception of what a man should be and I know I don’t think guys love that like my daddy do this and my daddy do that you know I don’t think a a man loves to
Be compared but it’s also just the level of knowing that as a woman you you have to kind of compare when you had a good thing you’re going to compare you know this stranger to see if they match up to what you’ve been exposed to as far as somebody that said they love
You it’s good it’s good and that should be the standard there should be a standard there and the standard should be Dad how does Dad treat mom how does Dad treat me and like you said an outsider should come in and they need to step up to the
Same level of what that young lady has been accustomed to being treated so that there’s no drop off there’s nothing there there going to be the exact same type of love and affection that you deserve sweet all right so uh let’s get into another topic with the with our kids so
Whoopy Goldberg took to video and she said that she can’t be friends with your kids people we got a video of that let’s get into what she said you yell at me if you want you but I believe this is true you cannot be friends with your kids
Nope yeah when you are when you have to do the things you have to do as a parent you know at what age can you become friends with them I’ll tell you I became no no I became me and my daughter are really tight as you know and her window
She became she when she went in at 13 and became this whole other person and she emerged at 2 I have to wait till 26 yes you do May yes you do how you feel about that can you be friends with your kids Tim yeah I Mean not really I mean I’m I’m dead I’m dead but but I but while all of all of the kids respect me as Dad and they know like Dad Dad don’t play dad is Dad is Dad however we got moments where we can be buddies we could be cool we got
Moments we got little pockets where we hang out and we could just talk like it doesn’t have to be you know uh I’m Dad no I’m if I’m talking to my boys hey we talking man and young man what’s up what you got going on and and how are you
Doing and what are you feeling like you still could come to me as in a safe space and express yourself to me in a in a loving and respectful way because that’s what I’m going to do for you but just always know that there’s still a level of authority that’s always going
To be there so it’s one thing to be like like in my house I’m the cool dad I’m cool I’m the cool parent I’m the very cool parent I’m cool call collected for the most part chill the one that gets them candy and snacks and everything I’m
I’m the cool parent for the most part but at the same time there’s still a level of authority that they know and they know that we can’t we don’t play that for the most part so my wife even comes on and says no I’m a cool mom but
I’m not your friend it’s blurring the lines when you try to be their friends and that’s 100% she mad cool with the kids but they also know that there’s a limit like mom is cool but Mom don’t play and that’s exactly how it should be it should be a level of respect there
100% % and when you try to come to they level you gota remember why you trying to be cool with your kids they evolving every day they you you trying to keep up with them and be friends with them no these these got these they’re they’re raging teenagers right now what’s the
Point so so yeah he’s the cool parent I’m the mean one yeah said nope I agree with you I don’t want to be friends with my kids not until they’re adults and my dad used to always tell me I’m not grown until I turned 30 so uh with that being said my kids
Will remain kids because there’s a level of respect that I wantan to I want them to honor right now especially while they’re teenagers like I don’t I don’t want them to think that they can ever play with me um so my ex-husband he’s more lenient we talk about this all the
Time like I I’m very cool until I’m not but I’m not like like your wife is saying I’m not your I’m not your friend you know but when we get when we get older when you get older you know you evolve you learn a little bit more and
You can carry that respect without the authority that I have over you then we could be friends and then you know I I like to tell my parents they’re my best friends um but when I was younger there’s no way I could have said that
Because I was I was they they were in Authority position and I was afraid okay but now that I’m older I can still they they’re still in Authority but they don’t have to exert that over me I can respect them as such but I can also be vulnerable and tell them everything and
That’s one of the things that I love about you know the relationship that they established that when I was younger had they just been all willy-nilly with me I don’t know if we would have had the same Dynamic of respect and friendship and a lot of times people have one of
The or the other but I think once you establish the respect peace as a parent you’ll get to have the Friendship later on as long as you’re doing a good job as a parent that’s that’s so true very true I even look at the same thing like with
My um with my mom and where yes it was more authoritative growing up what if it wasn’t authoritative and what if it was more so a friendship type of thing it would have been there would have been no respect there wouldn’t have been respect I have to respect my mother and honor my
Mother based on that authoritative Spirit from a long time ago and now we have the respect and the friendship where we could have conversations and and I could be vulnerable and things like that but I had to get out of being a teenager and growing up and maturing
In order to have the respect and the friendship there and that’s the same thing that we want to have with our kids as well is they all always need to know to respect mom and to respect dad but there’s there’s pockets in there especially with them being younger kids
And teenagers and things like that there’s Pockets where we could talk to you we could you kick with that and that’s a blessing with our our kids is that we they love to hang out with us they call us when they’re with their other parents like yo don’t you have
Something else to do calling us and checking on us and we be like go do something but it’s the level of comfort that they have as far as they know we we love Mom and Dad we respect them but we like to talk to them too and that’s and
That’s great and that’s where you know when you grow up see you’re planting those seeds now you’re planting seeds as they are growing up and as they grow and when they grow and they you know it really they G to depart from what you’ve already planted into them train up a
Child in the way that they should go so that they do not depart from it gonna come back and when they come back it’s all on the seeds that you grew or that you planted for them to grow into these amazing young adults and they get into
Their mid 20s and really going through life and things like that they gonna look back at mom she gonna look at Mom and say Mom I remember when you were 26 and you navigated through this very hard time in your life or dad I remember when
You were 27 and you remember and I remember you going through this and how you handled it as a man how do you handle it then friendship is bond is built from there it’s the best feeling ever when you could have that kind of Friendship with your kids later
On yeah I agree if you do it right if you allow your kids to respect you up front and that grow into friendship um you’ll actually have a place like my parents actually respect me so the respect now goes both ways because I I was respect in respect mode
Throughout so they and they honor the fact that I still respect them with the Friendship so give me respect so if you do it right it’s it’s very much fluid um Tim Brandon had a comment said I’m a dad and a grandpa and I’m not your friend sound pretty old school to
Me Alie said that’s real Tam y all right Sam let’s do one more topic if you’re okay yes more this yours the importance of journaling I thought we would ended on something sound since we’re about to close out January so um this is your topic and I would love your feedback on
Uh the importance of journaling yeah journaling has been such a game changer in my life most recently I’ll say I’ve journaled different parts of my life and at those times I always remember it being just a very cleansing cleansing experience emotionally mentally and even physically to some sense because all of that
Tension that I was holding on to all of the anger all of the things that I wanted to say and the Heat of the Moment that I couldn’t say was just still holding up holding inside of me in some way shape or form so ultimately bringing
Me down once I started journaling um I started journaling consistently in the beginning of this year during a fast and told myself that I would commit to journaling at least once a week and it’s been extremely freeing from an emotional aspect I’ve been able to let things go
I’ve been able to forgive easily I have been able to see different experiences from a different lens when I do journaling when I do write things down once I get those thoughts out of my head and put it on a piece of paper it’s like man I really I
Really can see different different angles and different outlooks when I can just put it on paper um I’m able to get out emotions that I didn’t know I felt or even existed so journaling for me is important because it’s more of a cleansing thing it is something that
Opens my mind up my heart up and I encourage people specifically men specifically black men I would really encourage you to take the time you have to be intentional but you have to take the time and journal even if it means journaling for five minutes to get
Started on on it I would highly suggest you do it because it is very cleansing and the one thing we as black men we not used to talking about feelings we’re not used to talking about emotions we don’t you know that’s just not us but black
Men are dying at an alarming rate due to stress let me say that again black men are dying at an alarming rate due to stress silent kill because we’re not taking care of ourselves mentally and so if you could get out what you’re feeling anger sadness depression
Anxiety things that we don’t talk enough about in our community but we need to start talking about it you never know if that could save your life it’s real man I’m telling you so um journaling is is an is a very important tool it’s not the only tool you need therapy and
Counseling you go get that help if you can’t afford it there’s different resources out here that you could look online to to Really connect with better help is is a um great therapy app um I also know people at anticipate Joy shout out to Veronica tton she’s doing great
With her partner uh Carla Evans and they they have plenty of resources out here to get the mental health that um support and the um assistance that you need for journaling is something that you can do without even having to go online just pick up a pen start writing on a piece
Of paper just getting your thoughts out your feelings out and everything and you’ll never know how therapeutic that is and you never know if that could be something that could ultimately save your life that’s good Tim I um I agree with you I make it a point I actually have
Some um some prayer journals that I created on Amazon Shameless plug um so I have some uh prayer journals but when I was like at the lowest place in my life my brother got murdered and the year after that I was literally walking through divorce um lost my house I just
Had lost my job I had a whole bunch of stuff happened to me like a chain event of things happening all at the same time and I felt so lost and in despair but I had a prayer Journal that I actually I found like it was on sale
And I was just like I’m just going to write out this season of my life and the great thing about the prayer Journal it was like it had like moments where I prayed about like where I was and where I wanted to be and I could put the dates
So and I still have this journal from literally from freaking 2014 where I sit and cry sometimes because I’ll go back and look at all the times where God brought me out all the times where I I didn’t know how I was going to see my way out of
Something and it’s just a a good reminder that Miracles still happen that God is concerned about what we’re concerned about and it’s just a reminder because I think as we go through life we church say soon we forget we forget get how good God is because now we’re
Dealing with something a new phase a new level we want something else we’re dealing with something else that we forget all of the times where we thought there’s no way I’m going to see my way out of this there’s no way life is going
To get any better like God why am I here moments but my prayer Journal is evidence that no matter what I go through no matter where I am that God is still moving on my behalf so to Tim’s point point I absolutely recommend you know anybody that’s listening to this to
Journal to get I don’t care you don’t have to get nothing fancy if you just want to write it on a piece of paper but to get something and just talk about where you are and if you can take it a step deeper and pour out your heart to God because like
I I love talking to God in my journal I pray but I love just being like hey God Hey Dad I call him dad in my journal this is what I am today you know but this is where I want to be I Lord I’m seeing beyond my circumstances I’m
Seeing Beyond this pit right now I feel like crap I’m very honest in my journal God I feel like nothing is going right you know and I’m I’m so honest with God in those moments but when I look back at all the moments where I just felt like
There is no way out of this God has brought me through and I’m going to say this this page that’s in the the Bible habca 2 and uh 2 and 3 and it says and the Lord answered to me and he said write the vision and make it plain upon
Tables that he may run that readeth for the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lie though it t wait for it because it will surely come and it will not tar and I just want to remind somebody is
There’s so much power in just writing the vision the Bible even tells us that and the Bible tells us to pray according to his will and if it’s in the word It lines up to what he’s already told us to do and he made a promise he said it will
Come for the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lie God made a promise to us and if you’re listening to this I just want you to hold on to that promise the same way I have the same way Tim has
And we’re just leaning and uh being affirmed in the word that God will come through for you as well so there’s a very much an importance of just writing in journaling so I just want to encourage you guys to do so amen thank you Tam I love it you’re
Welcome all right that’s all we have today Tim we close it out with some good word after all that cussing praise the Lord praise God oh Lord please forgive us for all that cussing earlier praise the Lord all right so we got some final thoughts T what are your final thoughts for
Tonight final thoughts okay so Megan stallion’s beef has definitely gone too far y’all need to leave her mother’s corpse alone for the love of God like that is just sad and crazy so leave that alone Gail King we don’t know we don’t really need to know if you really was doing some
Things um giving up $4,000 after doing doing some things um we don’t necessarily need to know that but what I will say is is that Brothers do not ask a woman that you would have just started dating from any money like don’t do that that’s another part of dating 101 from my advantage
Point but okay who destroyed the black family everybody’s had a hand in destroying the black family but uh we could talk about government assistant programs from back in the day we talk about we can go back to so many different things but me as a man I’m gonna take responsibility for the
Brothers we we’ve had a huge hand in destroying black families with do you know abuse adulteries cheating crit lying not being good parents not being good Fathers not being good husbands we got all these different reasons why so we take I I take the sword I’ll fall on
The sword for the for the black men okay uh Tyrese’s thoughts on child support I don’t care we’re moving on would you date an Uber driver would you date a guy making $10 an hour working 4,160 hours a year which only leaves you with a third of his
Time let you answer that uh can father set daughter’s expectations too high yes yes we can and yes we will it’s no problem and I have no complaints about it uh can you be friends with your kids no simple as that you can’t and last but not least the importance of journaling
Is super important we as black men you never know that could save your life if you were journaling getting some of that that anger that bitterness that depression and anxiety out your system and on a piece of paper and doing some breathing exercises around it and all
That man I’m telling you life could be different man so do it all right that’s my final thoughts what you got Tam listen how do I follow that uh Megan the stallion beef gone too far leave that lady Mama alone let her let her rest let her rest okay um Gail King
Situation y’all was saying she was doing something strange for some change or passing out the Chang but I’mma believe that that lady was just being kind from the pureness of her heart and she decided that relationship no longer served her okay all right and then who who destroyed the black
Family listen to Tim’s point every generation is a little bit different in terms of who destroyed the black family but I will say that I am confident that one day we’re going to have phenomenal men who are leaders who are going to allow the blinded to see and to give
Those who are lost a path forward a way forward for us to do better that is my hope that is my prayer all right um tyres thoughts on child support sir how long are you going to cry online about something dealing with your baby mama ex-wife kids I don’t
Know at what point are we gonna heal or reconcile I mean it just it at this point I just really feel like he need to go home I just feel like they need to figure it out because you keep talking about this situation like it’s very present it’s like hurting you still so
Maybe that is a wound that needs to heal in her arm okay y’all need to get it together because she was saying the same thing she regretted it so this might be a love connection who knows all right uh what you data Uber driver I was going to hit you with it
Absolutely not but uh go back and listen to the video if you’re coming in late because I don’t want to hear your mouth no I’m not gonna date an Uber driver making $10 an hour no ambition it’s not going down it’s just it’s simply not
Going down now if he wants to start a business or do that on the side I support you but if you don’t have time for me I also cannot be in that relationship because relationships require nurturing and you don’t have the ability to nurture a healthy relationship you got barely got time to
Sleep all right um can fathers set daughters expectations too high absolutely It’s Hard Out Here For Us who had fathers in Our Lives who have presented themselves to be great and showed us what men should look like because when we don’t see you operate
Like our dad we G to say it and that hurts some feelings sometimes and it is what it is can you be friends with your kids um when they get older maybe when they start having kids that’s probably the point at that point then you can be
Friends when when you know that they’re going to respect you even though y’all y’all are having a drink together then and not everybody drinks so reading the B I don’t know fill in the blank for people that don’t drink all right um the importance of journaling we just talked about that um
I would just say I think women do a great job at journaling and I don’t know why we give little girls journals and don’t give boys that when they’re young but I think women identify with journaling we’ve we’ve we’ve kept journals we’ve Al we’ve always had secret diaries to put our thoughts down
Um and and Men you know as Tim said he’s introducing an opportunity for you to have someone where that’s free and if you’re a woman that doesn’t Journal I would absolutely recommend it like whoever you are get a safe space where you can just be alone with yourself and
Your thoughts and write them out sometimes we think clearly when we when we’re able to write it out and not just let it sit here and allow those things to you know drive us crazy so I absolutely recommend the journaling piece thank you so much Tim for sharing
That with us and that’s pretty much it guys if you’re still watching right now and you have not subscribed why not like what what more do we have to do okay we are a save podcast so no clothes are coming off all right so I don’t
Know I don’t know what else we got to do um put it in the comments wow that’s why they like they are crazy it got weird did it get weird nope you she right about one thing Clos are staying on yeah but guys thank you so much for
Tuning in to the Tim and Tam talks this is the official back PE podcast we’ll be here every Tuesday 8:30 p.m. central if again you have not followed us like do I have to beg like come on at this point what I gota do hey just just
Follow us y’all follow us so sis can uh can go to sleep at night gosh all right we’ll see you next week you got wait you got something else to no I just want to say thank you guys so much for joining us here on a Tuesday
Night here at the back pew conversations Tam and I really appreciate it as always like she just said please like subscribe and follow follow us we are on all the social media channels and Outlets but we just look forward to seeing y’all again next Tuesday we gonna have something hot
Always bring that fire every time as we bring it to you every single Tuesday so God bless you have a good night bye yo what’s going on back we got so much to talk about this week you know we can unpack like these conversations see a pedicure depends on his feet they could
Be M feet what’s up what’s up T we in person we not back conversations going on time he be doing this stuff on here go ahead and click that follow subscribe button Tik Tok Instagram Facebook we we we everywhere yo we everywhere like literally everywhere
source
