Oh hey folks welcome back to another episode of the corporate Cowboys podcast it’s season what season is it it’s season nine episode two and we’re just getting hotter and hotter we’re getting deeper and deeper until we retire if you’re not familiar with the format of this podcast it’s tailored
It’s meant for you to uh to take away bits and pieces gold nuggets if you will for professional development so I’ll start right off the bat and I think this is going to be uh a common or I guess um what’s the term I’m looking for the format not the format
Uh the template yes template for episodes to come it’s to have the legal disclaimer up front because Real Talk we’re about to get down and dirty into the nitty gritty and speak on some topics and some themes that might be questionable if I don’t put them in context with illegal
Disclaimer being that none nothing that we say none of what we distribute across our platforms from the corporate Cowboys or any of our Affiliates incorporating Associates and what have you none of it should be construed as legal advice and we do not promote any wrongdoing or advocate for any wrongful activity okay
So be advised a lot of the information that we put across is General to some degree now a lot of the the questions that we pull from online have enough information and we do appreciate the information that some of the hypothetical clients give us in order to be more specific with our opinion
But even then it’s not personalized because we don’t have the live hypothetical clients in front of us to go back and forth with interview and uh be able to follow up with questions in order to get to the root of whatever might be afflicting them afflicting them yeah professionally
So with that being said with that being said if the shoe fits lace it but caveat it might be a little loose it might be a little tight it doesn’t take much more development and fleshing out for you to fit it to your particular situation to your circumstances
I know this is a little drawn out disclaimer but next time I I promise maybe I won’t but I won’t go much further than just the legal disclaimer but I’m letting you know why why the disclaimer is important unless you have engaged Us in some capacity or have retained us as
As your consultant or your counsel I mean we’re not bound to anything that you do or any ideas that you get because you heard them on a podcast with that being said today’s question is coming from r slash career advice foreign cast also serves as a form of cathartic
Therapy of sorts right I mean that’s just a non-sequitur but that’s the main reason one of the main reasons I volunteered to spearhead this podcast so that I could be the voice and represent my circle of professionals and the ideas that we contemplate and deliberate on
So just know that what I say doesn’t come immediately or directly from my own mind but from a group a network of professionals and our own respective and diverse experiences and understandings so today’s question is asking necessarily how how have you handled cold shoulders when resigning from a job
Does it get any easier does it get I mean it doesn’t really get any easier you just become harder you just become more professional I think if there is a lot of emotional development that came from a a work environment or an employment experience there’s a lot of emotional development
That went into whatever other working relationships you cultivated while you were with an organization while you were with the company I think it stands to reason that that the the cold shoulder you receive when you exit or resign especially with it’s on bad terms folks just cut you out of their professional and
Personal lives they might they might cut you out of their personal lives especially if I don’t know you happen to burn a bridge whether or not it was your fault or you work for an organization where you have a a specific and particular clearance or access to classified or confidential information
And so when you resign or when you get let go when you when you get let go when you are let go when you are terminated folks will cut you out of the organization any contacts that they have with you professional or otherwise including personal they might they might not want to talk
To Alex did I mention my name is Alex that’s right Alex or host they might not want to talk to Alex even if you and Alex go back five ten years 15 whatever amount of time that you go back and and reputation you think you have with colleagues
That could evaporate and vanish from one moment to the next and I do mean one moment to the next because it’s a common theme here on the podcast that every position is entry level everyone is entry level forever life itself is a Proving Ground life itself is a Proving Ground
That uh that common phrase where it takes a long time a lifetime even to cultivate trust with somebody and an instant to violate someone’s Trust and to be untrustworthy forevermore so that being said well before I get too far ahead before I get too far ahead let’s read a little
Bit into the body of this of this question here whether or not it gets easier it gets easier no doubt I think the hard part is when uh when you are cut out of the organization or when you cut the organization out of your own life
Um even if it is on amicable terms or neutral terms um you lose you may lose some components some nodes to your Professional Network there’s just going to be people that you can’t access and speak to anymore on a regular basis or it just becomes overly burdensome and unconvenient and
Inconvenient inconvenient to reach out to them and try and network outside of the organization depending on what their circumstances and situations and commitments are to the organization and to life outside of it you may have to strike out on your own and cultivate additional networks to compensate to replace
Those bits and pieces of of the network you once had when you were with the organization that’s all higher level thinking and strategizing and if you find yourself in a position like that by all means you need help you need additional perspective reach out to us it’s it’s what we do
It’s what we do if you have Associates who are who are facing uh a crisis of professionalism have them reach out to us that’s what we’re trained in you can find us on Instagram that’s at corporate Cowboys with a z the podcast is also on patreon that’s the corporate Cowboys podcast there’s
Multiple tiers to sign up yes this is a plug if you want to donate one dollar or 599 to keep us from getting audited there’s a couple of uh a couple of donation links they could be more I mean I’m just making a joke There’s a couple of donation links available out there you’re a smart cookie you can find them or you can write to us and uh send us things that’s P.O box 3372 Rancho Cordova California 95741 so the question they’re right here I turned in my two-week resignation and
While I knew it would be a surprise I was more surprised how quickly people became cold to me and in parentheses even people on my own team they close parenthesis there why is that surprising why is that surprising I mean it’s it’s not that they’re becoming cold it’s that they’re adjusting they’re already
Adjusting to your absence who they’re going to go to for um for that maybe it’s not support that you give them but for that role that you were filling while you were there and now that you that now that they know you won’t be there they’re not relying
On you like they used to they’re not depending on you like they once were I guess for some that might be their love language business is war right All is fair and Love and War right that might be their love language is to feel needed is to
Provide support is to have uh inter personal communication on a regular basis and if if it should be reduced to a noticeable degree oh they they get in their feelings they feel less loved well I hate to break it to you but when you move professionally it’s not just
Personal your livelihood is tied to it your livelihood is tied to it that’s why I mean you when you when you think about it and you and you dig down and you really study interpersonal relationships there is there’s some rationale there’s some sound rationale to why you shouldn’t do
Business with close friends or family for that matter and that’s because these personal ties where you might feel a sense of unconditional love might be pitted against professional interests and when those become entangled well then you run the risk of offending someone professionally while believing believing that your personal relationship can withstand this
Professional fence there’s a there’s a word I’m looking for this professional slight or is it a slight I think it is a slight and we may not recognize it we might think oh Alex and I are good we go way back we know each other from the womb we we’re family we’re blood
Not so the blood of the Covenant more than often is stronger than the water of the womb that’s where the that’s where that term comes from that’s phrase Blood Thicker Than Water blood of the Covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb I’ve seen family fall out from one another I’ve seen
Friends grow up together Fallout with one another I’ve experience that I’ve lived it personally and with those around me and in corporate it’s no different it’s no different if you spend any term of years or period of time with other colleagues you grow closer you can grow closer
The risk is you somehow catching feelings and associating your emotions or the success of your emotions the Outlook of your emotions on your professional status with them right so you’re leaving the organization and you expect what that they’re going to be there for at your every beck and call beckoning beckoning call yeah
Or that they’ll need you like they did professionally nah Nah if even if you were a good employee and that’s all you did with them I mean sure there are ways to Network professionally and and introduce more personal aspects to work outside of the firm but even then it
Doesn’t go much further than more work and professional development cultivating a shared sense of consummate professionalism that’s treating each other with mutual respect and looking out for one another’s Mutual interests together right that’s about as close as becoming friends as I like to think but my name is Alex um
Hi my name is Alex I’m a [ __ ] paranoid professional proper preparation prevents poor performance but I’m a corporate Cowboy at heart and what I do I do moving in and out of corporate I mean I’m old enough to know that it could be your best friend to put you
Away for a number of years if you do the right dirt and they drop the right dime they can get off scot-free and you’re the one facing time so as far as professionalism goes you want to always have contingencies but don’t have those contingencies be tied directly to any emotional outcome
You have to be able to think with the clear mind calm cool collected cold and calculating so they write here continuing I’m sorry I’m I’m just I’m eating I’m eating this time I I guess I had a a powerful Tuesday speaking of which you know a little proof of life it’s Tuesday
April 25 2023 and then it’s like I I’m doing this out of order somewhat I gotta Gotta Give the proof of life up front so folks know what uh I’m getting into and how I’m doing all right so they’re right it’s so silly it’s so silly to say but the reactions
Left me defeated empty awkward and ashamed all day at work and then in parentheses especially after giving so much of my time to this company the last few years dude dude you’re the only one leaving you’re the only one leaving and a dollar says there might be one more
One or more one or more individual at your firm who also feels uh betrayed right who who’s experiencing the inverse of what you’re experiencing where you feel guilt because I don’t know maybe you feel like you betrayed The Firm there’s got your your corresponding uh work spouse quote
Unquote I’m just being facetious I’m bullshitting but your quote unquote work spouse your quote unquote work soul mate there at that place is probably feeling betrayed right which to me is unreasonable it’s irrational because like I said you you’ve you’ve uh muddied up your professional relationship with emotions
So it and it might be that maybe you weren’t even a good employee maybe you think they like you having there because you brought in Donuts every week and you might have just been a [ __ ] employee right again these are these are inferences or hypotheses that we would test
By interviewing the hypothetical client when we move to uh intake in order to gather information and follow up with questions these are all questions that we ask right it’s not just like oh what do you do for work like we we dig deep we dig deep and need
To know what the social dynamics are of this corporate culture I mean just because you buy the office pizza and donuts doesn’t mean that you’re a good employee that or that you stand to be missed if you leave that’s unreasonable unreasonable last paragraph you’re right have others
How how have others handled such a difficult experience I know it’s just a job and I should let it go and move on but situations like this really put me down and out yeah no it sounds like it sounds like you’re going to be hobbling along for a
Little bit until you find another workplace until you cultivate other work relations other work spouses and you learn and you learn not too taint your professional relationships with emotions don’t inform them solely on how you feel right and you will meet individuals professionals colleagues that you may may not even Vibe with professionally
Maybe they hold different personal ideals or political ideals than you do but professionally you can count on them you can depend on them to execute on a deliverable that you need in your area of work right notice how I didn’t tie any feeling however I might feel personally or politically about ideas
But if I know I can count on them to carry out some work and and not muddy up the relation with with their personal views or political views then we’re golden we’re like I mentioned before we’re like as I mentioned before looking out for our mutual professional interests
So that we can both benefit from them regardless of how we feel about the relationship or the interaction between us two sure it sounds very sterile it sounds clinical almost Surgical and when I mean sterile it’s like it sounds like a very sanitized very inhuman very robotic but no it’s
Just a professional relationship it doesn’t mean you can’t have courtesy for one another doesn’t mean you can’t invite them out to lunch or go out to lunch together and explore ideas professionally again maybe Alex just thinks about work all the [ __ ] time right maybe he’s he skewed his
Interactions to think solely about work and how to get ahead in life not about how he feels about social issues social issues that he may or may not be able to change but so long as he’s able to get some work done that’s contributing to change it’s contributing
I might not be able to spearhead it and then if I am spearheading it I’m approaching it the same [ __ ] way I’m bringing people into my corner who I know will be able to contribute just like I would let’s take a look at one or two of these
Comments here and I’ll critique them for you the first comment here says I take it as confirmation that this that the decision to leave was the correct choice I don’t know it sounds it sounds too soft it sounds too soft it sounds irrational unreasonable so you notice how I’m not gendering any
Of this right and maybe by saying that I did gender it right but no I’m not it sounds like a I guess I could say [ __ ] move right it sounds like it’s a [ __ ] made personal policy an internal policy to to think that your employees your subordinates or your colleagues or
Your friends right it sounds [ __ ] made what just because you sharpened a pencil for them you they owe you their life they owe you love they owe you uh sentiment they should reciprocate by I don’t know something some up some form of affection makes no [ __ ] sense they don’t owe you [ __ ]
Just because you were consistently brought down donuts and coffee or or or or were a work spouse to somebody right and and you may or may not be one knowingly or otherwise right you just look out for your team and maybe you see somebody needs the support
Let me paint you a picture you’re working with your team you notice somebody needs support they’re uh uh may not be the most organized right and for in terms of uh filing and and and uh labeling and punctuality right so you do some of that for them you pick up their slack
And uh and uh folks think I don’t know folks who create rumors out of [ __ ] nothing right and folks think that there’s some type of romantic or or personal relationship some personal dynamic some personal what’s the term I’m looking for personal element to your professional relationship
Where the only reason you have them on your team and you haven’t either reported them or terminated them or let them go or reprimanded them discipline them is because they’re your go-to when you need someone to present something they’re very capable at Oral advocacy at arguing at talking up
Presenting and pitching a sale and closing they’re the one that you go to when you need someone to say something right now if any one of you should leave the team what do you owe the other nothing nothing you shouldn’t you shouldn’t what just because you were
Picking up some of their slack with with uh filing and organization they owe you their job nah nah because it was symbiotic you grew to rely on them as much as they depended on you but [ __ ] like to twist things out of place and put emotion in places where it doesn’t belong
Catch feelings corporate is the worst place to be catching feelings somebody else comments good bosses and colleagues would be happy for you if I think that goes without saying if you cultivate a positive Professional Network if you I had I had a manager once told
Me this before we even had a falling out because they let they let the power of corporate go to their head but I had a I had a corporate manager tell me this once that I’m happy I’m happy to let you stand on my shoulders to get to the next level of your
Professional career but don’t for a minute think that I’ll let you walk all over me [Laughter] they said it in more concise terms right so a lot less words and some vulgarity they said I’m not gonna let you know dropping [ __ ] and [ __ ] and all that but necessarily they said your
Colleagues your managers if they’re leaders and that they have leadership potential are going to want you to become a leader and if for some reason it’s your turn your time and this life to shine and get ahead they will be happy they’ll be happy to hoist you up to vouch for you
To stick their neck out for you to put in a good word and go to bat for you but don’t for a second think that they owe you that it’s not it’s not all that gray when you when you when you really cut it down to size
It’s not great at all there’s no real emotion to it sure there might be additional interest outside interests but as far as like a betrayal I mean we could talk betrayal but just leaving your job and resigning and them moving on to working directly with your replacement what you expect them to
Invite you over for a barbecue I mean do you have a history of of going to barbecues together of going out to get an actually socializing yeah I mean I’m not I’m not saying corporate Cowboys or robots or drones we’re professionals WE Network we mix we got the some some
Folks got an extraordinary Gift of Gab and get into places that I couldn’t imagine are able to talk themselves into places that I could only fantasize about right into positions of real power and I’m working on it I’m developing my own skill set my toolbox of of and and
With methodologies to use I mean you notice how I caught myself there stutter stepping I’m a work in progress we all are even even Kings at the top a work in progress maybe except for God but I think that goes without saying we’re working within their rules playing playing this game called life
The highest score is really comes down to the person who gets knocked off at the top what a horrible play on words I mean it’s funny that’s a horrible play on words if you want more context I think it’s uh season four episode 14. somewhere in season four it’s it’s titled the first
Half self-sabotage okay we’ll go listen to that for a good time but I’ma leave you here we’re at 30 minutes I forgot to mention again it’s all out of order I forgot to mention that this is another 30 minute consult so that you don’t think I owe you a full hour [ __ ]
You ain’t pay to me if you know me you owe me have a good one
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