Men EXPERIENCING A Friendship Recession? Loneliness & Patriarchy K*LLING These Niggaz!!

I I know you Know he he hey He I I Happy Saturday conscious crew it is your favorite breakdown commentator CV welcome to another riving episode of the conscious TV platform you guys already see what we’re here to discuss on this god-given Saturday now YouTube is playing like a motherucker with my notification so please thumbs up as you enter the

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With no further Ado let’s go ahead and push on through I know youge soul and in the of broken see your ass baby that’s conscious you going to heal you going to laugh and catch a little shade ladies and gentlemen all right let me speak to everybody in the building what’s going

On Max scy Facts hey rumors and hey sin hey Reena what’s going on Wanita I have my handy dandy co-host in the background and we’re going to be having this discussion which I think we tried to do last week sometime but we end up having

A whole another type of talk so we had time today and said you know what why not let’s get into some more useful content something that you’re something that your sort of kind of faves could never do okay what’s going on Tyrus the Warlock man how you

Doing I am doing pretty well feeling pretty good you know I was in like a weird um little something for the past uh three weeks but but the past or the last three days I like slowly kind of came out of uh this coma state or this hibernation

I’ve been in I literally feel like I kind of came out of the cave and walked back into the light um how are you I’m good uh been having a great weekend so far uh shopping with the girls you know getting ready for my wife’s birthday SL Valentine day

That’s been productive can’t believe you’re married to an aquarius that’s wild what do you what what does that mean it means I cannot stand Aquarius men but I love Aquarius women like Aquarius women are very different from Aquarius men but uh them Aquarius there’s something else yeah well happy early birthday to the

Wifey are you here to get into this discussion because you’ve already kind of rued with this uh topic over in the madis spere uh y’all were getting into a Thizzle regarding this subject how do you feel that that dialogue had went it man you know it it’s tough because I

Want to say it was productive but I’m not sure oh and What Makes You uncertain you know one of the big problems that I have a lot of times is that we as men we want to be treated as Leaders we want the accolades and everything that comes

With leadership and yet we got a lot of a lot of men especially young men today who lack the ability to give thems a good gut check um you know for for all this talk of leadership there seems to be a lot of finger pointing um who do you think the fingers being

Pointed at everybody but themselves like a lot of these discussions unfortunately it’s always it’s always something you get what I mean and and while we all acknowledge that there is always something that’s con know whether we call it a barrier or straight up wall like you know we it’s

Gotten to the point where we got a lot we got a lot of Doom and gloomer amongst men today and it’s really having a negative effect and let’s put an address on it they’re pointing the finger at women pointing the finger at the LGBT pointing the finger at The Pale Man

Which I never mind them pointing the finger at the p man the p man always got something to do with something but definitely a lot of finger pointing well we’re going to get into a news clip um that has been surfacing over in the manosphere and uh it is courtesy of PBS

Newsour and it is going to discuss something called a friendship recession okay why a growing number of American men say they are in a friend ship apocalypse all right very fascinating so we’re going to get into this clip and of course this is covered by no other than

Fair mother freaking use which I’m G to put up here on the scarin what’s going on TS what’s going on forehead who says Brain be happy that part all right all right let me share my screen here and let’s go ahead and get into this news clip once again courtesy of PBS

Newsour let’s check this out stuck in what’s been dubbed a friendship recession with 20% of single men now saying they don’t have any close friends and more than half of all men report feeling unsatisfied with the size of their friend groups I recently traveled to Phoenix to take a closer look at the

Implications of male loneliness and how some men are confronting it a great way to start off 2024 just another meet up on a recent night in Phoenix a group of men gathered on a rooftop bar to talk about their goals for the new year I am training for a

Half marathon my first one ever uh spend more time with family I have my grandparents my grandfather it’ll be 91 this year wow make moments like this where I can sit and talk and you know look for mentorship and and and even offering this friends group was started by 38-year-old Quincy Winston after

Leaving the military in 2015 Winston moved to Arizona with his wife Latoya and started working as an IT specialist but for years he says he struggled to make friends here were you feeling lonely and disconnected definitely um especially when it came to having male friends um I didn’t have any and that

That lack of connection put me in a place where I didn’t know exactly what to do about it so in March of 2022 Winston turned to the social media platform Meetup and decided to invite other men to a local restaurant think we went to a restaurant called Papados and

Uh I didn’t know who would show up or if anybody would show up sounds nerve-wracking and it was it was awkward but once the guys came in and hearing some of their explanations and what they were looking for I found out we had a lot more in coming than I

Thought seven men showed up for that first event are you guys warm which Winston says only happened because of his wife you encouraged him to form this group yeah I wanted him to have a social life like outside of just us doing things together all the time which was

Great but I still felt like he needed to have guy time and guy friends yeah she made it very evident that I need to go make some friends go disappear for a disappear now you have some friends yes you know come back you know go yeah chicken uh thoughts so far

Uh or do you think that we should just let it run and then rewinded bike you’re all muted just us for I guess a a side note or Cliff note if you will especially men transitioning out the military it is is very common for for our wives to be like yo can you

Like get out the house because we have a very even now like we have a real strange ability to go in Hermit mode real quick um because like during the military is easy to go out and be with your homies and and be with the squad and everything like that but the

Civilian world is different so you get a lot of a lot of wiers like Okay can like go get some sunshine and stuff like that that’s pretty normal did this uh news clip say that this guy started this group in Wisconsin I believe it was Wisconsin I think I heard they moved to

Wisconsin is what I believe I heard what I find interesting about that is his name is Quincy Winston who moved the Wisconsin wow and what I also find interesting is that uh his wife is in all smiles completely enjoying the fact that she basically told her husband to get the

[ __ ] up out of her face immediately and go make America gay again all right now had she just would have made him a damn ad on back page on Craig’s List his social life would have got popping real Ka real quick but uh okay let’s continue to check out quinston Winston and the

Barbecue with the Bros in Wisconsin one more time I’m just grabbing the hot dogs right now the men still meet up about once a week for activities like this Backyard Barbecue Winston’s meetup group now has nearly 130 members it speaks to the need for connection that your group is that big I

Mean is that is that how you see it yeah it does and you know with all the technology we have to keep us more connected to where we can communicate instantly with anyone anywhere but if you notice we don’t talk as much we text more a lot Gets Lost in

Translation because we just don’t have that physical connection I’m the newest member of the group but I’m also one of the oldest members of the group connection is what 61-year-old Robert Montgomery was looking for what motivated you to join this this group my whole thing was I said I needed friends

I need because I didn’t have any I got tired of being you know basically isolated at home all the time and I my birthday at home by myself and I got and I didn’t I didn’t like that I was like okay no I can’t do this anymore Montgomery is certainly not

Alone only 21% of men in the US say they get emotional support from friends every week that’s compared to 41% of women sometimes as men we struggle to say I need need you Richard Reeves is the author of of boys and men why the modern male is struggling why it matters

And what to do about it what is driving male loneliness why do men have such a hard time forming friendships and keeping them as they progress through life you can’t neglect the friendship and expect it to just grow you have to work at it you have to find the time and

My observation is that many women are just better at doing that and building it into their lives so is lack of purpose Reeves also says over the last four decades there’s been a steady deterioration of male friendships for men under the age of 30 15% say they

Don’t have a close friend and that’s up from 3% in 1990 so we have a really difficult challenge now of helping men to find places spaces and ways to be with other men and to sustain those male friendships last year the US Surgeon General issued an advisory outlining the

Devastating Health effect Act of loneliness and isolation including increased risks for heart disease strokes and dementia and while men make up slightly less than 50% of the US population they now account for nearly 80% of all suicides I think these statistics on young male isolation and relatedly of

Suicide rates is part and parcel of this displacement that we see of time away from Friendship what should we be doing to reverse these Trends we do need to be intentional about male friendship need to be intentional about combating against male loneliness and that we have to create spaces that they’re not going

To create themselves that’s at the heart of men’s shed a nonprofit that began in Australia in the 1990s and now has 27 locations across the country so I have to go through here though yeah the goal here to reach older men who now have the highest rate of suicides in the you now

If you guys are uh wanting more context about what you’re looking at you’re looking at tyus and his military Pals about 10 years from now okay I hate that is so accurate man why you do work friends and then most men struggle to get a circle of new friends

74 old Phil Johnson has helped start several men’s sheds around Minneapolis a couple of times a month these mostly retired men come together to both work on projects and to Simply sit around and chat men feel more open about talking to guys like themselves about health concerns they may have couple years ago

Years ago yeah so the research shows over and over again that men do best when they’re doing something and they can do it together it’s a chance for men to share a laugh but also seek advice we tackle some tough problems uh like uh suicide Which is higher and in retired men we’ve

Had uh three men that I know of uh that have lost their spouses and there’s always going to be somebody else in the group can say hey here’s how I did it here’s some ideas uh here’s something you should try to do and no you’re not

Alone you have brothers you have a Pack you have a tribe you have a family away from home back in Arizona I was invited on a morning hike with Quincy Winston’s friend group an outing organized by 29-year-old Nick crumb who says joining the group has exceeded his

Expectations it’s just grown so much and we’ve been able to meet so many quality people so many people who actually want to be vulnerable talk about the things that we like to talk about uh you know you know talk about our life um build that genuine connection with one another

That’s exactly what Winston says he hoped for when he created the group we need each other and we need to support uplift encourage and motivate other men to you know seek friendship Quincy Winston now wants to expand his friend group beyond the Phoenix area so meetups

Like this one can become more common for men across the country figure out what we can do to bring people together right for see them men out there in the mountains by themselves I wonder just how connected they getting out there them broke back mountains good Lord activity in

Phoenix all right so that was quite the unpacking there so well a short recap uh we learned from from the news clip that women are more fulfilled by 40% in their interpersonal relationships than men coming at at a pitiful 21% satisfaction in their uh interpersonal relationships

Um I think some great feedback was some great gems were dropped by uh one of the Educators or speakers or authors who uh said you know that men need to be intentional about creating these bases and cultivating meaningful relationships that this isn’t like lightning striking

It’s not going to just fall out of the sky that these are issues that can be curved but it’s going to have to come by way of um intent and Men willing themselves to carve out um these relationships I also kind of want to push back against him though because he

Said that you know when he was asked you know why do you think that women um are more fulfilled or satisfied than men are in this area he said you know women just seem to be better at it I don’t think that women just seem to be better at it

I think that women are better at it because we literally in terms of we a society we socialize women to uh be better at these things um I got I got to emphasize your point real quick the the fact that this guy’s educated clearly at least on the M’s perspective

But but gave such a vague you know such a vague an non-answer to that that that was disappointing in my opinion probably was um for the sake of time they probably edit it out because since this was just only like a eight minute segment yeah I’m sure he probably

Had more to say but um yeah I cause here’s what’s interesting to me about the whole women just are better at it cuz I’ve spoken about this so many times on my platform and said that the things that we believe make men and women inherently different from each

Other are actually not inherent like a lot of that [ __ ] is just the product of socialization like you welcome women to embrace their emotional body to actually embrace their feelings um which can lead to the development of emotional depth emotional uh maturity emotional awareness and emotional intelligence which is very necessary uh especially

When it comes to developing interpersonal relationships this is what makes women better at being nurturers in a relationship um mothers why women probably feel more CAU to act actually take care of their seed while men you know can seemingly relatively speaking more easily detach from the parenting style

Um and it’s just because once again the society AIDS in a bed women in becoming impath and I feel like if we would just also make some of that socialization available um in the lives of men that men also could easily also grow up to have the same level of emotional depth

The emotional range um to have value regarding their um emotional body and have that relationship to their emotions because understanding your emotions um is significant to your Evolution and growth as a person there’s so much data in the way we feel the way we feel tells us so much it communicates

So much to us about our perception ception of the world our experience of ourselves our experience of the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in and if men are so to speak handicapped in this area I’m really not surprised that men don’t know really what the [ __ ] to do when they’re in

Their feelings um men have for a long time only been narrated as having only two ranges of feeling they’re either stoic happy or enraged those are kind of the go-to stereotypical emotional states of men stoic angry or happy and um there’s more channels on the da there’s more stations on the da

Than just rage numbness and or happiness but before we go any further your thoughts so far about the socializing ation do you think that socialization would make a big difference in terms of men’s development emotional development if it was actually prioritized I I think the the amount of

Positivity that would come out of it would would be a boost but it wouldn’t be sustainable without getting to the root issue which would be um the fact that guys we we we actually rally around and we make friends over like a certain go like for example that

I I I know I know it’s funny but the them old guys they’re more likely their groups are more likely to stick together than unfortunately the the homies on the balcony because they’re actually engaged in an activity like like woodwork you get what I mean like there’s something productive something that here here’s

The end goal that we all achieve as a group and that’s like emotionally like how at least from my perspective that’s how a lot of us you know we get those bonded moments and and we and we we we build meaningful relationship with the guys if it’s

Just I’ve never really seen it where a group of random guys can just get together just on some barbecue stuff like intentionally get together there isn’t anything really a unifying Factor there and they actually like keep that meaningful engagement at least just from my perspective quinston Winston just

Knocked you out of the ballp part though he just he just he just proved you he just proved you wrong yeah I’m glad it’s working out for him you know what I mean but unfort Ely there’s been a lot of been a lot of effort all around and

Unfortunately just him the men in the group are fulfilled as we heard some of the men say this exceeded their expectations they had no idea you know that so much uh fulfillment um and camaraderie and how much of a void filler this would actually lead to and a lot of them are pleas

Surprised and they and they with it they’re with this fraternity that they have um stumbled upon because of one man’s intent to say you know what I can’t sit here and complain I’m just gonna have to throw myself out there and see if this bait you know takes hold and

He attracted other men in similar predicament so the bond that you’re talking about in this case the it’s work it’s working the nuclear or the nucleus that’s holding this together is the commonality of the Lonely issue is what’s forging and motivating and bringing us in together so it doesn’t necessarily have to be

Over cars or have to be over um hunting but I mean if there’re it’s just a common need like that’s enough for human nature to start bringing worlds together if everybody has a common a desire and goal in mind right now it’s fascinating to me is going back to the socialization of it

All it’s like we like to think of like women as being like naturally better at love but it’s just like no when you’ve been raising that woman since she’s been two and and three to play with baby dolls and to nurture something that’s not even sentient and you’re giving her easy

Baked ovens and you’re giving her domestic chores and then she grows up to be a teenager who’s also given task and domestic chores and she’s having to wash the uh doooo stank skid written draws of her parents and her brothers and her sisters you damn right that’s going to

Add to another level of intimate um relationship to my community because I’m literally being put in scenarios that almost force me indirectly to bond or or put me in this position to have this like intimate awareness of the people that I have to see every day in

The community in which I come from Etc often times the girls if they’re old enough they’re left to be the stewards of their younger siblings because they also have more um domestic skill set like cooking cleaning meal prepping Etc so they often times can operate as a substitute mother

Uh figure Etc and I’m just like if you also introduce these things into the lives of boys once again we too could grow and uh evolve emotionally and also tap into this intimate awareness of our environment and the people that we live with if you also put us in the position to be

Nurturers um at a young age and you make that a routine in our lives until we become adults I just really can’t believe that this Society who manufactures everything who man makes everything who social constructs everything actually believe that men and women are just kind of born as they are

As if the socialization and the do and the indoctrination and the training has nothing to do with nothing we’re literally training girls to be women and training boys to be so-called Men And yet when we get to the conversation and we’re trying to evaluate well how the

[ __ ] have the Sexes split off into two different directions how is it that Men Are from Mars and women from Venus that oh it it just must be because of some mystical ass uh reason you know that comes from some spiritual domain as to why women have strengths in this area

And men have weakness in in this area men have strengths in this area and women have weaknesses in that area when most of that [ __ ] the bul of that [ __ ] that makes men and women different that makes male and females different has nothing to do with biological scientific

[ __ ] difference it has to do with the way in which we are literally teaching and raising and and cultivating uh both genders this is literally why you want the son to go live with his dad so his dad can teach him to be a so-called man because the culture of men

Is different from the culture of women this is why you want women to stay under I mean girls to stay under the stewardship of women of their grandmother of their mothers because there’s a different culture a different reality that’s given to them it’s not that we are inherently

Different from one another as male and female men and women we’re just given to different social scripts and we’re rais accordingly to those things um as it relates to our gender our sex so as far as I’m concerned this is not a trigonometry issue men just need to

Incorporate some of the things that have been given to women that have made women more successful and more emotionally healthy in these ways that have been absent from our community because there are things that weren’t really taught and given to us as a priority like how people feel

Per se was not how I feel hell as a male was not a priority you know we taught to straighten up to you know pick yourself up by your boot straps that Boys Don’t Cry that feelings are um for the weak uh for the gay for the [ __ ] for the punk

Um that’s not what you do as a man you are task oriented you are strong and robotic and you go do something you get yourself out of your damn feelings that’s for women feelings are for women and uh that’s what’s beat over your [ __ ] head and so as a man

You grow up to detach yourself and to be stoic in this way you really come under the belief that to have Grievances and sadnesses to have anger to um have vulnerability is a symptom of some type of incompetence and it makes you deeply insecure as a male and then God forbid

You be a heterosexual male who is attracted to the opposite sex you finally stumble upon like these interpersonal relationships with the feminine and you have no or you struggle to really take care of your woman emotionally because that’s not being a universe and a world and a part of the a

Part of the Multiverse that you were Tau to go graduate from so when she can’t get you to understand how you’re making her feel and how your actions are impacting her and she trying to illustrate to you or you can’t understand why she’s maximizing certain things that are minimalized to you and

There’s this profound emotional disconnect between you and her and as far as you’re concerned she seems to just be tripping she seems to just be doing too much she seems to just be you know out of control or in secure or Etc I think when a lot of men speak

This way and they interpret their women this way or interpret the women in their lives this way that it’s not necessarily because they’re intentionally trying to be manipulative I think [ __ ] literally just don’t [ __ ] know they’re literally ignorant they’re literally just like you can’t somebody can’t give

You what they don’t have and they can only see the world based upon the way they’ve been taught to see it they can only see it from their lens they can only see it from their capacity and there really is a disconnect and it’s demonstrated even in

The gender war that exists now between women just being uh incredibly fatigued feeling misunderstood quote unquote feeling completely unprotected that’s not just physically but feeling abandoned intellectually feeling abandoned spiritually F an abandoned emotionally by their male peers and now we are learning through the creations of the manosphere and the passport Bros

Sector and um all of the little Kevin Samuel clones that he birth and through this friendship recession that even men can no longer really sustain this disconnect themselves that is also injuring them and men are starting to become honest about what this socialization has costed them and the

Damage that it has done to their lives while they may be great at making money they may be sufficient in their careers they may have all of these accolades to show for their masculinity their personal lives [ __ ] suck their interpersonal relationships to the Divine suck that there seems to be a

Substance that’s lacking that they have a bunch of stuff but they don’t have any substance there and this is killing men which is why I want to bring up this article called the Atlantic voice the Atlanta voice uh which is caption black men in isolation

Is the silent issue we all need to catch I want to read some of this oh and St Maris made a great point I see why males are bullying women into settling for marriage and forcing women to be submissive because they are lonely as [ __ ] go fig what’s going on Harold

Hey Sabian hey Dion so this article by the Atlanta voice says black men isolation is an issue that’s not getting enough attention experts call it a silent epidemic as men who isolate eles develop terrible health conditions that could ultimately lead to death matter of fact let me share this before we go any

Further there is a way to prevent that outcome licensed mental health counselor Dr Lewis hes explains this topic what to look for and how serious this matter is quote it gets pretty serious in a subtle way social isolation leads to loneliness and loneliness can lead to mental health conditions including depression if your

Depression is Ser serious enough it can lead to uicide said Lewis Hines CEO of Lewis Huns and Associates black men in isolation is a problem that affects more people than we realize Studies have shown that people are social beings who need others around each other unfortunately men tend to be more lonely

Than women Psychology today suggests that women are more comfortable being vulnerable to expressing loneliness in men men sometimes process vulnerability as weakness and usually hide those feelings Dr hein’s expertise matches that details as he explains that men hold feelings and thoughts to the extent that they can be detrimental quote men

Keep a lot of stuff in their heads they don’t like to talk they don’t like to express themselves and they believe they have to do things by themselves they don’t like to be vulnerable with their emotions these are all signs that can lead to loneliness and perhaps some

Mental defects said Dr Hines making go into isolation for various reasons usually it’s from a life-changing event that disrupts the social connection men who retire can fall into loneliness men who are single divorced or lost their par partner can fall into loneliness signs people can look out for regarding

This issue are changes in routine isolation can affect your sleeping and eating habits suppose the isolated individuals are more irritable and have a noticeable difference in their behavior in that case that is a sign to acknowledge a more significant sign is men who isolate close friends and family men who keep to

Themselves isolate the close people they usually don’t want to be away from connection puts life into people being alone for long periods is not healthy for individuals Dr hin explains that isolation was a tool used for punishment and discipline during Wars in world history he further elaborates that

Prisoners then lost Lo their minds to psychosis because of extended isolation today solitary confinement placed in a small isolated space is a consquence for incarcerated people solution suggested by Dr Hans that you can apply if you are dealing with isolation and loneliness or learning to be vulnerable talk about your thoughts

And feelings next is to go outside for some sunshine and exercise be conscious of what you eat Dr H’s advises not to consume too much sugar alcohol or drugs the doctor also recommends con contacting people lining up plans or calling to check in those small steps can lead to huge strides in resolving

The problem for those who see their M loved ones being isolated or socially withdrawn Dr H encourages persistently checking in on them deliberately give words of encouragement talk to them and invite them to plans so that they can come out of the metaphoric cave quote family and friends should definitely

Reach out to Gods especially if you find someone not reaching out to you as men Age We tend to want to be by ourselves creating a cave like mentality when things bother us we return to the cave and isolate ourselves in the dark gloomy places sometimes men never come out of

Their caves said Dr Hans If the previous steps fail the last option Dr Hans proposed is therapy according to the National Institute of Health men are less likely to seek Mental Health Services than women this problem perpetuates feelings of down and loneliness amongst men therapy is a no

Shame step that can solve the issue of isolation Dr hin encourages and applauds those who need it and seek it quote it’s a big leap to commit to in your head to go get help I’ve seen a lot more men come forward seeking Mental Health Services I applaud them all the time

They are taking steps to fight depression and remove the stigma behind mental health said Dr hind what’s interesting about that is um when I think about like because I’ve become a recluse myself like I do not especially in this climate um what I’ve noticed is man this is a very moted issue it’s

So much going on um I mean conscious would you agree that being like being reclusive is a little bit different than just straight up hermit mode like well well I just want to be I don’t want to play the game of semantic it’s clear that this article is

Talking about like hermit mode even if it’s using the word like you know isolation but it is talking about extreme isolation it’s talking about when it’s unhealthy you know it’s talking about people who are deeply withdrawn you know it’s talking about you know those obvious things this this

Article is is in no way not talking about the Healthy Necessity of personal time and self time but it’s talking literally about when that loneliness um is the product of sadness and depression and men’s inability to find language to express um what it is they’re feeling because maybe they’ve been taught and

Socialized once again as we were talking about earlier to not bring life or Voice or vibration to those feelings because you feel inadequate as a man you’re taught to feel inadequate as a man and you’re damn sure not taught to even engage other men from this vibration of vulnerability and Brotherhood and

Intimacy those are things that you are taught that are only appropriate between you and your relationship to the opposite sex but not to other men so there’s a plethora of [ __ ] you know that contributes to that but continue on yeah I uh really like this article

Um I would like to if if you could put that in the in the back chat I got like to read through that again um there now yeah it just it just has me thinking of like my homeboy you know what I mean like I know I’m kind of

Quiet it’s just because I’m going through like the memory bank you know and and it’s uh and it’s crazy because you know the the article really hit home because again like especially the guys who hit retirement or like us who got like medically discharged from the military

And stuff like that and then medically retired it’s like it’s it’s a lot easier for guys that’s why I was kind of saying like I didn’t mean to make it make it seem like we had to have an activity more like what we was doing but a lot of a lot of

Guys conscious say you know we make a lot of work friends initially or like school friends and then that’s where the lifetime Bond comes on where we’re like hey man come on kick it over or have a beer watch the game you know what I mean like that that typically stands from

Whatever you’re being productive at right because as men we’re taught we got to be the providers so all of our free time if it’s not at school it’s at work and so that’s where a lot of our social interactions are going to come from and where any of our friends come from and

So like when you’re retired all of a sudden you’re not in that like environment anymore and and more importantly you’re not in an environment that you’re used to Everything feels foreign especially if you’ve been doing something a certain way for a long time right like it’s it’s definitely

Multi-layered yeah um I’m glad you touched on that because I was just going to say you know a lot of that like men usually find other men to bond with by being um active and that also is a byproduct of the socialization too because as you just noted um we are talk

To be the bread winners we’re taught to be action oriented so often times like we find and connect with other people as a result of being emotion um we don’t know how to like be still and be um which you know um you know what

Conscious you can you can I can make I can actually be open to the idea that us being constantly emotion is a bad thing because like like like you’re alluding we’re we’re really taught that stagnation or just like taking a a pause is is detrimental to everything you just

Can’t do that no because you are like because you are raised as like from a young person like as a man you are always on like you are literally designed to do get your ass up and do there is no rest even when it’s the weekend and you should be

Able to L gag like a lot of our parents still you know were making us be active like and even if it was summer break and you done spent you know damn near you know the entire year in school now you need to go to a camp a summer camp like

It’s always do do do do do and this is literally ingrained into our existence in such a way that it seems second nature and we think that it’s it’s nature and it’s not it’s actually nurture that creates a lot of our like gas break a lot of our St the way we’re

Stimulated a lot of our like secondhand habits Etc all just come out of the way we’ve been cultivated I was going to say that like I noticed that when I am not feeling um like myself and that is visible that it’s not really the men

Of my life who can clock it if anything I have like it’s the women who like are you okay is everything all right like they can you know like feel that and see that men the men of my life aren’t really observing themselves are really observing the other men in their life in

That nuanced way but the women are paying attention and they’ve once again been socialized to pay attention because they have been given the task taking care of the community and staying up on making sure that things are well and things are taken care of and things are clean and

Things are prepared and you know the baby’s not crying and so they’ve been socialized once again to pay attention and to develop this uh emotional bond with with the community with other human beings Etc this is something that has been missing from the way that men have

Been cultivated so for me I’m just not surprised that women are better at kind of reading the room than men are they’re better at I mean women are so skilled at this that this is how a lot of Vixens are able to also trick men out of their spot because they understand human

Psychology in a way that men don’t men have not been socialized to pay attention to human psychology once again like we are more trained in the cerebral workspace corporate uh go driven way hyper masculinity hyper Mas maybe maybe not toxic but definitely hyper masculinity conscious think about school right even

During school what are we put in after Sports you’re going to go to play football or basketball or baseball or or soccer or something always always tapped into that to that testosterone that hyper masculinity like we’re we’re cultivated to be tapped in like that and sustain it hey look I just opened up

To Um someone in my life the other night and I like was completely honest about the way I was feeling and um I said some pretty dramatic things um and this male was just kind of like move it along we kind of just went on to another subject as if you know I

Hadn’t just unloaded the clip in the most Dramatical way the clip could be unloaded and I remember having a distinct feeling in that moment of like that was completely pointless why why why even inquire or why even like seek out and understanding or ask that level of question

And then be that completely like unprepared but that’s a double-edged sword right because in one hand you’re correct but on the other hand that means if PE if if if a lot of people took that perspective then none of the guys will ever have a chance to ever correct it because why

Bother you know what I mean like sure at that moment yeah was like oh right it was that awkward pause or whatever like that but I guarantee you he thought about it afterwards something tells me that next time that happens if it happens you might have a different reaction you’re

Just it’s just for you’re not gonna so to how you to how you unloaded the clip it might surprise you right maybe but what’s what’s crazy is it wasn’t a reaction that was off it was the like inability to not have a follow up after

I had like opened up Pandora’s Box and I was just because initially we don’t know what to say to that right a question of like why are you even inquiring when you know you don’t know the terrain in which you are attempting to like you know step out

Explor we’re explorers yeah but exporing but you’re exploring uh you know to my detriment because I don’t want to go there and tap into all of that just to kind of be left in suspended animation you’re ultimately going to abandon me once you’ve opened the chest box and

Then I’m the one left to you know maybe sit in feelings I didn’t even want to feel at this moment but because I’m trying to have an intimate moment and you’re meeting me halfway I’m taking a risk and I’m going to like meet you there but then because you’re ultimately incompetent and

Unequipped you left me to my own devices while you done moved it along because your only incentive was because your only intive because your only incentive was just to know but you didn’t have any resolution it didn’t have any resolve there wasn’t any there wer even you were gave and

Again it wasn’t any comfort there wasn’t anything it was just like you just opened the box with a sake of curiosity and that was more detrimental for me than it would be for you like true but that’s a maybe because If he if you engage

Again and he at least does some of that that’s progress and by the way that means that he’s that he actually learned from that experience frustrating is that that that progress where he learns and changes a lot of that that progress conscious that’s what we hide that’s

An that’s it’s not it’s not it’s not indefinite that anything was learned it’s not indefinite that this what happen again and again and again and again like you’re making an assumption that this was a learning right but but but still you don’t know until the next engagement so any

Possib and because of the way that that engagement went there may not be a next time because now I H you know have a notion of what could happen which is nothing after I go into open up the closet door so there may not be a next

Time so how a typical guy will respond is [ __ ] you’re crazy you’re crazy you’re crazy bit What If instead of engage or what if instead of you feeling like you have to be vulnerable what if the next time you guys are talking and he actually responds

By by opening his Pandora’s Box for you by telling you something no that’s the G no no no no see that’s what’s interesting I’m like a woman in all of my relationships T in in my life so they’re always breaking me off a piece of the Kit Kat bar and I’m always

Effectively uh taking care of them in those moments which is you know why I become the go to Yan and I become the ghetto Buddha in everybody’s life I I know what to do when we flip it and reverse the roles but they don’t know what to do when they

Are having to be the nurturers or the teachers or having to be sure but we can’t learn that doesn’t mean we’re going to be scared off just because the first interaction didn’t go too well well I’m talking to you anecdotally as somebody who no has consistently been in this

Position I mean the people that my life are not learning naturally which I know the next logical conclusion is like if I want things to change then I may have to help them by informing them but I haven’t figured out how to tell but I haven’t figured out how to to tell these

People that they’re horrible at being a support group I haven’t found a way how to make that digestible and palatable without it like scaring them off to your point because we know men are already scary when they’re embarking upon you know terrain that they’re not familiar

With and God forbid their egos get you know tugged on or get bruised and then they and then they shut down entirely so also navigating the male ego has limited a lot of feminine beings from being able to like even provide information because sometimes no matter what your delivery style is

Or how willing you are to educate the other partner like the other partner will just like translate that education and that information transfer as you know something negative or not feel good enough or it’ll just run them off and so it’s just really a crazy thing and I know a lot of women

Complain about this like how they can’t even tell their man that you’re not giving me an orgasm like because I know it’ll destroy my man’s it’ll destroy my man’s ego I can’t even like give him practical constructive feedback because I know he’s fragile and weak as [ __ ]

That his ego makes him frail as hell and so women are largely you know suffering in silence because men’s ego don’t even allow the men to position themselves to even truly be loved to also be supported which also has to come with allowing transparency on your partner’s behalf

And you not always taking that criticism to heart um and it it gets very interesting and complicated when it comes to deal with men and I would imagine that men find it also interesting and complicated to deal with women or to deal with the feminine and The Feminine you know you know has

The shortcomings in dealing with the masculine and it’s just but it is obviously something that nonetheless despite the potential drawbacks you know the only way truly toward the change that we all actually need is to take the roads less traveled and to try something new

And to break up the habits that we know are inherently contributing to things not getting better like we know for sure that things absolutely won’t change without information so at some point we’re going to have to start taking a risk and just providing the feedback and

Even if that costes us like at least breaking up that toxic habit of being silent and suffering in silence and watching your partner go in the opposite direction real fast or because you refuse to temporarily piss them off by correcting their behavior in real time uh we got to take those risks we

Got to roll those dice because once again only information allows for there to be a possibility of a different tomorrow but if we keep our mou shut we know absolutely things are more than likely definitely not going to change for the better but there’s a lot

Of fear that and there’s a lot of um Etc and like even like I just told you I I haven’t found a way to tell the men in my life that they suck they suck I don’t enjoy I don’t I don’t I don’t enjoy talking to any of my male

Friends when it comes to like matters of the heart because men are just so de tone to their own [ __ ] Hearts they have no [ __ ] way of course of really taking care of minds they don’t even they ain’t even pres in their own they don’t don’t even open up their own

Closet door they don’t even unpack their own inventory properly so it’s like I’m not surprised but things do need to change you’d be surprised uh to come that bluntly would obviously it’d be a shock but I think you underestimate how how your friends would react to that

I don’t because I’ve also done I’ve kind of like shut down too because I have also wrote the dice in other um friendship sets and like right now me and my best friend haven’t spoken in a year all because I have the audacity to tell him something that I believe he

Needed to know and it largely was me telling him about the the way I’m experiencing him and his ego got so inflamed that he couldn’t even take or he took that he took that feedback completely wrong he took it to heart and he punished me by not returning my phone

Call and then his ego convinced him to not pick up the phone first even if he wanted to because the ego needs to win and always needs to feel in control and I wasn’t willing to give him what I knew his ego wanted so I also let the Friendship

Dissolve because I wasn’t going to feed his ego and his ego is what he was looking to be fed in order to permit me back through the Heavenly Gates and I instead Took My Walkin papers um because yeah and so I’ve I’ve been through it I’ve been through it you know

I I’ve done it all when it came to trying to you know get in here and get get get get get this stuff untangled and it’s a messy knot and ultimately it does take to the other party and I really feel bad for the damage that patriarchy did to men while men

Thought that they were winning um it was only at face value there’s a huge huge Damage Done to the psyche of men as a result of not being head and heart present and head and heart centered only choosing one one of those regions to live from and I hate what all

Of all of the data looks like such as according to the National Library of Medicine the depressive symptoms and loneliness amongst black and white older adults loneliness is consistently linked to worst depression depressive symptoms however there are a few studies that have examined whether their relationship between loneliness and depressive

Symptoms varies by race the purpose of this study was to determine whether race moderated their relationship between loneliness and depressive ass symtoms loneliness has a strong and consistent relationship with depression depressive symptoms and mental health empirical evidence suggest that the relationship between loneliness and mental health is bidirectional and likely

Reciprocal some Studies have noted the strong influence of depressive symptoms on loneliness other Studies have identified loneliness as the key factor in predicting depressive symptoms and worse mental health even when simultaneously accounting for OB objective factors which could be associated with these mental health outcomes now what’s interesting is that

This article was using the term loneliness loneliness and I want to make it clear that we’re not just talking about loneliness in terms of physical loneliness but emotional isolation mental isolation the reality that people can be surrounded by a lot of people and still feel completely

Alone so and let’s be clear here too we’re just talking about a lot of to a lot of this too is guys who just don’t have friends it’s tough making friends this this is the big part of the male loneliness thing you know is I don’t know what it is but guys

Are the [ __ ] used to work conscious right it’s just you know there’s things today that affect us that is making us not be able to to have friends you know like I I can’t speak from like the relationship aspect from a from a feminine point of view like from

That relationships but just like as the male loneliness with again guys’s trying to link up and bond with other guys man you know that’s that’s a lot and it it didn’t used to be that way you know the the old system was working I’m not

Saying we we need to double down on it we definitely need some new 2024 and Beyond tactics I’m just saying like it’s when you say uh that it used to work like can you expound upon that like like side rates never used to be this High amongst men male loneliness

Epidemic or the rate of drug use and depression never used used to be this High amongst men or or you know what I mean like it’s you know again from my perspective and talking to a lot of these different dudes on the panel man they got no sense

Of direction and again it’s hard to make friends when you’re not going anywhere or you don’t think you’re going anywhere because a lot of these guys conscious today today they don’t they seem like they don’t know what to do with themselves you know what I mean and that’s what I’m saying

Like back then I’m not we we almost didn’t have a choice remember when you remember how we got cultivated as men how everything you you mentioned we didn’t have a choice right if our parents put us in we got to do it right but nowadays you the kids got choices I’m going

To I would open up another Factor I’m not sure if it’s that it used to work or that depressive rates were lower I feel like it could also be argued that men were so there’s two things that have happened Society has changed since our parents

Um yeah men were able to have a more uh indefinite place in the lives of uh their loved ones because there was a very strong gender Ro construct that existed so men were able to have statues resurrected in their honor really be honored and revered amongst their Community for their contribution

By way of being the pastor or by way of being uh the bread winner I think we lived in a in a in eras where men were much more rewarded and affirmed because of their contributions but because now we’re liveing in a different age women are also catching up educationally they’re catching up

Economically um women can do a lot of the things that men used to only be allocated for in society and I think that this has led to a lot of men confronting their own identities and what it now means to be in a society where a woman can be the

Breadwinner a woman can take care of herself a woman can take care of her babies a woman can now choose a man and like a man rather than be in necessity for one um and I think because men have been socialized to be needed to be

Needed to be needed that we don’t know anything about what it means to be liked to just be chosen to just be desired and now that that monoy is being broken up in this growing Society that’s becoming more androgynous by Nature you know things are you know flipping in a lot of

Different directions I think that contributes to it but I also would say that I wonder if men because because when we talk about yeser year we also talking about a time up until now where men could not speak like this men did not have space and it did not

And it wasn’t encourage for men to acknowledge their feelings so now because we living in this androgynous age where women are getting to the bag or men and men are getting into their feelings men now are you know forced to speak and they’re carving out spaces to speak and they’re being encouraged to

Speak and so where now so men are in a position now to tell kind of a honest truth that may have been there for generations for all we know but when it wasn’t cool and trendy to talk as a man and to share that you were lonely and to be able to form

Vacabulary you know to support the way you felt um you didn’t but this new age because you know we keep hearing that term new these new age [ __ ] these new age [ __ ] these new [ __ ] this a different breed I mean the only difference is that these men talk and

Like all of the studies are saying men have historically not spoken have historically practiced not speaking not speaking their truth not speaking their heart not speaking their hurt not speaking their trauma Papa Was a Rolling Stone and off and often times an alcoholic in order to

Medicate himself and to numb his to his feelings that he could not speak comfortably in a patriarchy these are all once again the Crux and the side effects of patriarchy it it served men on one hand because it put them to the front of the line but it completely

Raped them of their emotional Essence it completely raped men of our spiritual Essence well I could tell you from uh from a patriarchy patriarchy perspective a very because I don’t have any say disagreements with that perspective one of the m one of a huge perspective I always had from a patriarchy perspective

Is this utilitarian thing of a lot of the the manufacturing jobs going overseas um you know because there was the time when you know hey you can get a job right out of high school get that trade get that stuff like that get that factory job job and you were set you got

Benefits you you going get pay raises all that stuff and when I look at when I look at history I see okay women came into the workforce and there was actually no threat to men until the patriarchy struck which is hey how can I get more money while lowering

My Revenue oh I know and let’s be who runs all the Fortune 500 companies at this time conscious men I know what I’m going to do I’mma shut these factories down here I’mma reopen them in China and Mexico and all these other places for cheaper labor and with the

Trade agreements essentially free uh free trade logistically ain’t got to pay none of them tariffs and everything like that and so what happened is you had a bunch of women coming into the workforce still taking a of uh more like office jobs and things like that but then you

Had the whole manufacturing base right after that ripped from the blue collar working class which created a massive like compet competition crisis you know what I mean like uh labor force crisis and that came from greed and selfishness of the corporate Patriot in my opinion yeah the afro beat Nick says we have

More access to information in the digital world does it mean that uh uicide rates were less maybe less known less acknowledged I I definitely have a point there afro beat Nick I would say this though and even though sometimes they glorified uh our parents and grandparents conscious

Sometimes they glorify what is true is that you could look at a very uh great example of what they bring up all the time the fact that back in the 70s or 80s and 60s yeah they they used to leave their rifle on the back of the pickup truck and there wasn’t school

Shootings and nobody stole a rifle and things like that like that there there’s an aspect of that that it’s like yeah sure maybe it wasn’t stat maybe we weren’t uh you know tracking the statistics then but reason we weren’t tracking the statistics then is because it wasn’t actually a problem

Well let’s well well we didn’t so black minorities still don’t represent the majority of school ERS uh to this day but we can easily replace the school erss of today with the members of the KKK and our matter we shoot ourselves like does it matter who’s getting who’s

Doing the shooting we shoot ourselves yeah oh yeah because you can’t resolve any uh societal issue without context and origin because everybody is ooting for different reasons so if one group is ooing and uning people because of an ideology and another is oooing each other as a means to

Survival like you can’t resolve both of those things with the same remedy because the reason that’s driving everybody to take the actions that they’re taking are completely different so you have but the common link between both of those uh those aspects is the fact that you have a lot of hyper masculinity male

Isolation and loneliness attached to that that that that’s a consistent link between the two in our discussion you know what I mean well the second one in terms of minorities and the the the classic black-on-black crime is more of an uh a socioeconomic issue that contribut to the madness as we can see

Um Suburban blacks are not blazing up their communities because we can see the correlation between economic stability and um a lack of vience perpetuated in those communities and then we can look at acknowledge that there’s still social trauma that black men deal with and everything like that AR yeah because

When you have a socio economic issue you’re also going to get so so even though we have those things it’s still at the end of the day boils down to a lot of the the mental health and things that we gota you know we got to get a hold of

Which is what makes the predicament of minority people really fascinating because you have your inner demons which is a result of generational intergenerational trauma but then you have ex your external demons that contribute to the environmental variables that create mental instability and that apply like inhumane pressure on

To a populace that results in high crime rates and violence and whether it’s grape whether it’s gang related whether it’s thy whether it’s fraud all of those things can be connected to a capitalistic system uh I am Sy YN says I agree Society has put a lot of pressure on men

To present masculine a lot of men don’t know how to open up and do both Deborah Hill says here’s a fun fact African-Americans are the most unmarried ethnic group in America 29% as of 2023 wait so 70% though is married the most unmarried ethnic group in America only 29% are

Married I’m assuming that’s what that reads oh only 29% okay damn damn but at the same time our non-black uh counterparts are like divorced by 30 and on to their second marriage by 30 so the divorce way the divorce rates are high in the non-black communities where people may be marrying

At an early age but they also are diverse are D divorcing divorcing on a at an early rate as well and their first marriages aren’t even like working out and not even making it until death does impart so they have their own social experiment to deal with but it’s not

Like um those statistics mean that the other side is in some is not in some Utopia cuz uh there’s issues there as well however um speaking of that though I’m looking at a chart here that I’m G to pull up uh oh how do I get us out the way um oh

Here it is according to bookings.com month we highlighted some research and data from the recent Brooking scholarship on employment income wealth health education and other indicators that highlight racial gaps in America you can you can pruse the previous chart here black men Die four years earlier than white men that’s interesting

Because you can see the chart here white women are out living black men black women are outliving black men and white men are outliving black men and of course like all these studies one of the common links that I found was that um this is a really compounded issue for

Black Americans particularly black men because there are socioeconomic issues there are um structural issues that are contributing to the shorten or premature life expectancy of black men there are racial issues there are patriarchal issues there to your point tus are you know interpersonal generational traumas Etc

So black people as a whole are living with them kind of like a a [ __ ] stew and men are definitely um kind of lost and knotted up in that Vortex of debris almost like the trying to exist under the rubble of the Twin Towers yeah and what’s also true is today

Especially we also got a lot of black men who have these benefits but for whatever reason just hey Pride ego just not going not gonna use them you know I don’t need to see the doctor I’m good you know what I mean this this kind of crap eating eating horrible you know

Which also are economic and cultural issues because people if people are not economically sufficient then it means that they’re eating the scraps and what’s available and typically what’s available are the scraps or like the most affordable food generally is GMO produced right but what’s true is that

The majority of of black people aren’t in poverty you know what I mean disproportionately we are but the majority of us still aren’t and so we have to acknowledge that we suffer wor or we suffer the same things that the broader America does we got money and we still eat like [ __ ]

Well like think about the conscious like them L them fast them fast food lines be be filled not just with BR it’s not it’s not even just a fast food issue as well because it’s a it’s it’s also the same issue that drove me to a diabetic

Um scare last year which is also the fact that you have economic issues that contribute to this but you also have uh the issue of the evolved slave mentality that has continued to make a culture out of eating poorly because we have glamorize the scraps that were

Given to us so you have black people enjoying soul food which is unal living the [ __ ] out of the black community so the pork the chitlins the halul MK the the soul food is contributing to the high cholesterol the hypertension the diabetes the ETC because we

Literally have a a a food culture um and it’s oversaturated in fat and sugar and a lot of the health complications of black Americans well I mean to your point of all Americans because America has an obesity issue right now in general and of course that is divided up

Amongst you know all the eite groups but but the soul food is specific to us you know I mean to what’s unal living us and so a lot of the health complications including Alzheimer’s and Dementia are all linked to our dietary choices and the things that we’ve been

Munching on and gorging down but if you also are a unprivileged disenfranchised black American once again you also mostly live in environments where you are surviving off of bare minimum economics and you are in food desert communities where Whole Foods is typically you know 10 15 mils out where an Apple cost $3

While $3 can feed a family of four on a pack of Roman noodles that cost 79 cent a pack but of course was what are those ramen noodles going to do to your body eventually absolutely keep you from making it to to c35 absolutely put your health on the brink of

Non-existence uh you know and it’s so once again you know these these issues for minority people across the board are Inward and outward like we have open enemies contributing to our condition and then we have the sustainability of the condition itself being perpetuated through a generations and normalized and

Us relaxing into our poison which is contributing to all of these issues and so ultimately it’s time for a massive [ __ ] wake up man a massive wake up I mean and it’s going to have to be a wake up of mass proportions um in order to curve these issues um conversations around mental

Health and therapy and counseling are going to be have to be very n necessary and they’re going to have to be adjacent to the conversation we prioritize around church and Jesus therapy is going to have to be right next to Jesus yeah I I agree and as somebody who

Still go actively goes through therapy yeah that’s it’s one of the best decisions I ever made and there there’s nothing feminine about it as a matter of fact I wouldn’t be able to maintain my masculine household and all this other [ __ ] if I didn’t go to

Therapy I’d be be too much of a wreck you know what I mean I can you talk to us a little bit about like how therapy has contributed to um your emotional wellbe yeah I’m man I started I started going to therapy I think in 2014 uh right before I got out the

Military like early and but for for the longest like I didn’t take it seriously um and I stopped going when I got out the military but once I started like having a hard time like transitioning to civilian life because like when we getting out you take terminal leave and then

What we trying to do is we trying to go straight into the shits we don’t even decompress like one of the worst decisions I ever made conscious was I did not give my time myself time to decompress I went straight from active duty military to August 2017 Cleveland State University fulltime

Using my GI Bill no time to decompress right that was one of the worst decisions I ever did because I ended up piling on too much of my plate and just like just broke down but then at the same time I’m looking at at therapy going well I don’t have time

To talk about my feelings right but eventually I just I just had to stick it through because the longer I tried to solve everything by my self-conscious the more disconnected I was becoming to my wife and my two children who I already had a hard time bonding as it is because of

The deployments yeah right like thankfully was able to see see see the birth of my daughters but a lot of the the young age and the tolers man I was in the Middle East so a lot of that bonding factor I didn’t even have a chance and so

Now I decided again the worst decision of my life man like I’m transitioning my whole family out I’m trying to go in but but and and I’m doing this because yo I can’t stop right conscious y I gotta keep my feet moving you can’t take a break

You know what I mean you got to keep a roof over the family’s head and one of and a lot of times it’s like when you’re dealing with so much [ __ ] it’s it’s not even that you don’t want to talk to anybody it’s that it’s like sometimes feel like talking to somebody

Will slow you down but once I actually dedicated myself to the therapy and took the meds and everything like that it actually saved me so much time and I’m actually operating like more efficiently like I’m actually able to like I guess understand triggers understand situations that you know

Maybe are relatable to the military but really not like and then just that exposure of just getting out there and following through like the homework assignments and the fact that it’s a lot here’s the thing related to this conversation I know I’m all over the

Place but the thing about that is I say this all the time I had a support system my wife my wife and my daughters were they were there it was supportive and everything so unfortunately it sucks because I don’t know what it’s like to be isolated and not have people like constantly trying

To like yank you out of it and there’s too many and there’s a growing amount of men who do not have that privil but you do not have that luxury right and unfortunately therapy still keeps getting like minimized and guys if for nothing else just to get it off your

Chest to a stranger please for the love of God at least give it a shot I’m telling you a lot of y’all would be pleasantly surprised like I encourage shout out to the manosphere for attempting to take that advice to the stream because a lot of those sectors are birth out of [ __ ]

Trying to tell somebody how angry and mad they is um nice and thank you for sharing that um wow so and returning back to these statistics uh the article from Brooking education goes on to say that in their peace on the challenges facing black men Richard reev Sarah whatever this last name is

And Ember Smith explained that life expectancy is lowest for black men compared to other groups both at Birth and at age 65 for white men they write life expectancy at Birth is about six years lower than at age 65 but for black men that Gap is over nine years showing

That black men are more likely to die prematurely this many other facts that site in their peace on the challenges facing black men lead Reeves and his cadres to call for a new deal for black men in their new essay Andre Perry and Carl RoR explore approaching student

Debt cancellation by wealth not by income as tuition costs have risen far more than wages and inflation they observe so to have increased amounts of borrowing and student debt the problem is especially uh pertinent for black households they note for whom a lack of generational wealth risk making student debt a

Longterm financial burden the wealth disparity between black and non-black people means that black households are not building as much wealth that can help pay off student loans Perry and roma argue that because student debt disproportionately harms the wealth poor and the black wealth poor in particular student debt cancellation could be a

Powerful tool in dismantling institutional discrimination and shrinking racial wealth disparities if implemented correctly America has a wage problem writes siphon Lou and Joseph uh parala in a new essay the Kisha 19 pandemic brought the low wage crisis to new heights as unemployed and underemployed low-wage workers particularly women and people of color

Face severe economic insecurity whereas 44% of all you us families before the plandemic did not earn enough income to meet all of their living expenses the chart demonstrates that households headed by women black and Latino Or Hispanic individuals and those with less than an associates degree are even more

Likely to be struggling than most you can read their essay to learn more about these data and solutions for local and Regional policy makers to create inclusive economic recovery strategies with families sustaining wages any thoughts about that uh I I think student loan again student loans is like for me a universal

Principle everybody need the student loan debt wiped out so um as far as it having I guess disproportionate benefits to black men specifically I actually don’t really see that um that would help black women astronomically who are actually get going to college and graduating for black men uh we we

Actually we we need black men to understand the quality of Education the type of education not just going to school or doing a semester or two and then bouncing um you know emphasis on trade emphasis on more going the Community College route um but unfortunately I can’t I

Don’t even know what to say because that’s Universal conscious that’s things we we need to be telling everybody you know what I mean I think the whole damn system needs to be overhauled I mean I just I just I I honestly just the way I look at America from the

Bottom up the way I look at the system from a minority lens is it reminds me of bubblegum in hair and the only like remedy is to actually cut out the hair because there’s just really no way to untangle I mean I don’t know this is a

Weird system it it it puts you in the social crisis that you’re in by creating things like race creating things like a patriarchy creating things like a classism system creating things like a cast system creating a gender system and then when there’s a little evolution in

Thought and we kind of like come to regarding you know the sins we’ve committed Against Humanity um at best the remedy is let’s just kind of act like nothing has happened and definitely not do anything to repair or leverage the communities that suffered at the hands of the inventions of all of this

[ __ ] um AKA why reparations has not happen um you cannot set a body free and not include what the mind also needs in order to truly experience that freedom um this is why you can have prisoners who statistically like are repeat offenders especially after their first

Offense they’re bound to end up in the criminal justice system just shy of a year or two or three of because now they got a criminal record and no one will hire yeah exactly like the system and not only do they have a and

Not not so not only do you have like a system that like crashes you back into the same [ __ ] wall that drove you into this predicament to begin with but on top of that you have the interpersonal trauma and you have these people going back into a struggle that

Is now compounded to your point because there also now are the complicated issues of having a criminal arrest record Etc But ultimately these people are back in the same environment that make them sick and not only is that sickness not really prioritized while they are put

Away but they come out with the sickness that came from from their environmental circumstances and predicaments and they’re going back in to an environment that makes them susceptible to sickness it’s just very the whole [ __ ] is bizarre it’s it’s the whole [ __ ] is bizarre and I know that

Like wealthy people don’t think that because they don’t have any incentive to think that I mean they exist kind of they they exist from an observer’s perspective not a participant um but from this side of stence this is a very bizarre uh simulation to navigate it’s yeah I mean we’re

4% America is 4% of the world’s population yet we account for just about 25% of the world’s prison population we literally have more prisoners than Russia and China combined it’s a freaking joke and a lot of these wealthier and let me tell you it’s not a western thing this is America

Specific thing because yeah in those Western countries especially the Nordic ones you know what they’re uh reiis because that’s what we’re talking about retic ISM rate here in America it’s like 50% in those other countries it’s like 15 it’s stupidly low because they actually try to reform obviously there’s

Certain people that can’t be reformed we get that but conscious we know people who I don’t know was selling drugs or or robbed a store or something yeah those people got a good chance a good likely shot of being reformed right and so it’s like okay so

We actually have systems in place now that we could look at and go oh well this [ __ ] works but n we don’t want to do it over here I I mean think about it this is the only country where you can legitimately be a corporation or a private just a

Private investor and build your own goddamn prison and make money that shit’s pathetic just saying out loud which provides Land of the Free which provides the motivation to sustain racism and racial disparity because there’s economic leverage and benefit to doing so just like there’s a equity on sexism there’s a equity on

Racism there’s an equity on classism you need a bottom you you need a bottom well you don’t need the bottom but the attitude is the necessity of the bottom because they’ve learned how to make money off the bottom and as a result of the

Bottom what I was want to go back to too CU we are kind of all over the place but this is good stuff uh this uh friend recession uh piece that PBS had covered also spoke about um the guy Quincy spoke about like what he believes is also

Contributing to um men’s loneliness and this friend recession is technology which is something that I have slamed for years and then I’m still slamming and it’s interesting that he also made that observation um what do you think about the way that like technology and social media is actually contributing to anti

Socialness man it it’s crazy because I cannot help but go wasn’t it men who created all this [ __ ] to begin with right it’s it’s it’s almost like the the all these Tech guys who created Ai and then lost their [ __ ] jobs because hey bro you no longer useful

Congratulations I I just I can’t help but it sucks but I can’t help but laugh at it conscious because it’s like damn like we constantly find new and improved ways to [ __ ] ourselves over and I’m not saying technology and all that game all that all all the gains

And progresses are bad things but the way in which we we engage and are motivated to use the technology good Lord man and then on top of that we use all this new tech all this scientific breakdown for the main purpose of finding new ways to kill each

Other that’s the most that’s the most pathetic part about it our most advanced [ __ ] is used for Pure destruction purposes only our most advanced technology that we got is only used for the purpose of destroying [ __ ] sucks I’m pulling up something here make sure you guys are thumbing up the

Video yo conscious like like straight up this this I’m I’m sorry I’m starting to get in my feelings I ain’t gonna lie like it it pisses me off because when I look at this [ __ ] I’m like we always talk about American values and [ __ ] tradition and then literally you wipe

Out the rust Bel State the uh uh the rust Bel States the industrial North simply because you was making profit conscience you just wasn’t making as much as you could you get what I mean like it it’s like yeah you was making and I’m just throwing like a random number but just

You was making 500,000 conscious but you know you could have been making 750 if you did it this way you just gotta fire a few of these [ __ ] and you’re good right and and so what sucks is that in our current system even with me trying to be

Positive I can’t help but be negative because we inherently live in a society where we keep all the information close to our chest and we use it as a potential weapon against each other so we in a way don’t want to see each other do well you know what I mean like like

That competition has now infected our everyday social life that’s not just in the labor market anymore that [ __ ] is never turned off conscious I think it’s a twofold issue I think um capitalism creates a lot of Insidious uh disparities mentally and spiritually Etc because a lot of people want to work

Toward the financial incentives and the fame the fortune EX Etc not only because there’s a personal benefit to doing so but there’s also a inner emptiness that we are attempting to Remedy by gaining these things wealth influence Fame because they have social equity on them so you have lonely broke

People working toward not being broke but also working toward curing up the meaninglessness in their lives and because people who obtain these breakthroughs and these liberations and these Financial incentives and fame and fortunes then become Idols that’s then also what’s sought after is that idolization and that sense

Of significance but that sense of significance can’t be there tyus if everybody is an idol if everybody is important so then you keep the information close to your chest as a result as a as a way to preserve this Equity that you’re using to feel these emotional voids in yourself

Because you want to be the token successor in the family or amongst the Friendship group or amongst the community you want to also know what it feels like to have power because when you didn’t have it you saw how people were treat it who had it you saw the

Things they could accomplish in the lives of other people you saw the level of obedience and submissiveness and the immunity the things you could also get away with the way you could be perceived and affirmed as somebody who made it but if everybody makes it now nobody’s no longer special but because everybody’s

Also dealing with the I’m not special issue we’re just going to find some other Insidious way to accomplish this void external in a in a external way to us or in an external um fashion because man also largely works from the outside in rather than the inside

Out and I just think it’s funny once again how this becomes a Bubba in the hair Matrix and and now and now I understand why so many revolutionary people pulled out the sword in order to remedy the issue was like Purge the land sink sink the ship ex exterminate blow to Smither because

Is one thing to have an internal issue that we can do something about right like if I am a poor handicap or if I’m a poor minority person with deep trauma in my life because of the way in which I was raised the interpersonal violence I witnessed between my parents the prostitution the

Violence I witness in my community and this was what was cultivated to me and I wasn’t afforded certain opportunities and I wasn’t educated because I had to start helping my single mother at 14 and I had to drop out of high school and start selling drugs in order to provide for my siblings

Etc there are an aspect of my life and the choices I made that came from the way I was informed and and because of and because of the things that informed me I made decisions from from that stimuli I I I can correct that I can get in control of

That and but the problem here too is that when I as I’m correcting that I’m still living in a system that has issues against me beyond my control because I don’t control racism I don’t control homophobia I don’t control anti-blackness I don’t control the the the Discrimination in housing I don’t

Are the Discrimination in in job opportunity in the hiring process I don’t control the issues as it relates to getting into a quality University Etc that there’s also a big chunk of My reality that I don’t get to be behind the wi of that I am subjected to

Instead regardless of the fair share of accountability that I take for myself but it’s better to take the responsibility right that you can over the parts of your life that you do directly contribute to and can contribute to by way of overcoming your interpersonal issues but then there’s all this other

[ __ ] that also brings about its own fair share of struggle and so when I’ve been looking at a lot of the conversations over the past few years as it relates to black and brown issues around police brutality and a criminal justice system and all these things and this

Conversation about how we can’t all come together Etc or a lot of black people falling into a pessimism now is also something that I understand because it’s battle fatigue when when you’ve been fighting for Generations like our ancestors have been nothing but fighting for for a better version of this Matrix since

We’ve been here there’s been nothing but a fight since since the creation of America since the creation of the idea of America those ancestors and that fight is also living through us in our own solar makeup so you have black people who feel discouraged because they’re looking at their antidotal experience coupled with

The plethora of other [ __ ] that exist Beyond them you got people resting in their trauma you have you feel and to a large degree you’re you are pitted between a rock and a hard place the hard place is what your lived experience how that has injured you

Coupled with the rock which is the system and I’m sick of us just being in this predicament I know that the only way out of it is to continue to fight continue to grow continue to evolve continue to try continue to make the strives because obviously we are we also also [ __ ]

Exhausting yeah because we also can’t afford to lay down either but the luxury of stopping bro yeah you don’t have the luxury of stopping but you’re but you’re also just tired you’re just tired just [ __ ] tired and there’s nothing in this system because racism continues to be something

That political parties want to narrate as self- imagined and a thing of the past it’s not leaving room for that fatigue that’s taking place as a result of surviving the reality of these things that certain powers and principalities in this system are trying to act like is a figment of minorities

Imagination so minorities don’t have a recess to take and when they do take recess we see what that looks like it looked like the ghettos of America it looks like the black own black crims always spoken about it looks like the DV rates between black women and black men

It looks like all of the a crime perpetuated it looks like the high school dropout rates it looks like the life expectancy rates it it looks like all of this side effects the side effects the side effects these are the side effects so I get I empathize I understand I am

Worried for us because I really don’t know what this is really going to look like I really don’t I don’t know really what to expect I don’t know what’s really going to happen I know for me what what I’m going to do I don’t know

What we are going to look like day to day year to year moving through this molasses I don’t know how many of us are going to be still a part of the fight forward a year from now or 10 years from now or five years from now or four years

From now I don’t know what the system is also going to look like based upon what’s what we’re pushing back I just [ __ ] you know like we still seeing the coonery and the buffoonery just on a macro level when it comes to you know Taj speaking out about an economic issue

And then you having the [ __ ] shoe shiners of the community like Viva Fox and Fantasia like I ain’t got no problems I mean I ain’t got no problems I those ain’t my problems and I’m just like oh my God are we still literally like like are we still ignoring systemic issues based upon

Anodal reality like well I ain’t never experienced police brutality before it just isn’t a thing I I ain’t never experienced racism so I ain’t never it’s just like are y’all [ __ ] are y’all [ __ ] okay are y’all okay oh my [ __ ] God we can’t even we can’t even be clear about the line between

Individuality and Collective systematic issues like we can’t even we can’t even understand that at a Hooked on Phonics level like well well think about it it’s it’s there’s a a relationship there right there’s this toe the line hyper masculinity you have to freaking practice or what they call you gay or

You feminine or whatever like that just like there’s this racial or the toe to racial line you gotta walk and the moment you even move your foot well what happens you’re going against the collective right and and so it’s it’s a it’s a very complex dance

People got to walk I mean we talk about everybody getting their bag unfortunately for black people specifically because they H we have no power with the system we have to get the bag and the only way to maintain the bag is to what move to the BBS or move to

The Royal area right but then you get told that you’re leaving your community behind knowing that if you stay in the community yo let’s be clear we know what it’s like the property values of low the quality of education is low you might get or probably will get robbed when we’re

Talking about these sort of environments and what sucks conscious is that even just saying that out loud I get to that defensive mode that you was talking about a few minutes ago that like when you’re trying to tell people about like a real problem or a real issue that is

Solvable you you put them in the defense apster because now they got to defend their honor now they they can’t even hear what you’re saying because no no no I’m not like that you get what I mean like they’re they’re so caught up with the accusation that they’re not I guess

Hearing or or even trying to hear you know a a better path forward but it’s crazy because you see that’s not actually an issue with black women that’s what’s so perplexing to me me is that black women while statistically amongst women are still you know there’s there’s still a lot to

Gain black women are for the most part doing their thing in this country but what I’ve seen is that black women like most women do they actually take the information and they apply it and I’m seeing women and black women specifically in this conversation adapting a

And so while we talk about in the in the men spaces a lot about these welfare Queens I always tell them I’m like well here’s a program that is there to be used and they’re using it isn’t that isn’t that what intelligence is taking opportunities granted to you and

Applying it to make it to make your life better for the future I mean that’s just [ __ ] like right funny about that uh tyus like what’s so funny about men being upset at the welfare system the reason why they’re so triggered by it is because men look at

Welfare as a reparation for women that they don’t get to participate in because they feel equally deserving of that break because they consider it a break they could well Feld break yeah and I’m sorry conscious I just got to be real I with those programs anyway I definitely trust women

To make the better decision than us will than than we will because I see women use those program and successfully climb the [ __ ] ladder or at least make sure their kids get the opportunity uh Ben Carson’s mother did exactly that and whatever the politics people want to say

At the end of the day this man is a decorated neurosurgeon who mom M needed used public assistance to make sure that kid had a roof over his head to become to help become what he is today like that’s just common sense right but we got this like especially a

Male ego thing but especially amongst black men like we always got to look down at these situations that can easily at least assist us along because the reality is I think if some of us got some of those things we we wouldn’t use it for it intended purpose and so we

Automatically project that on black women or women as a whole Deon Griffin posed an interesting question she says plot twist how do we stop isolation if we’re built to actually engage each other for change on one hand we can’t change [ __ ] without each other but on the other hand we have a

Growing divestment movement people are divesting emotionally from the community divesting mentally from one another people are becoming more individually identified and not collectively identifiable um how do we stop isolation I pulled up an article that kind of talks a little bit about this when we were talking about um social

Media uh according to Mclean hospital.org the social media dilemma social media and your mental health the social media platform Instagram made headlines last year for suppressing likes in an effort to curb the comparisons and hurt feelings associated with attaching popularity to sharing content but do these efforts combat

Mental health issues or are they simply applying a Band-Aid to a wound in a small step in the right direction says jacqulyn spurring PhD a psychologist at mle hospital who works with youth who experience anxiety disorders about Instagram’s recent restriction quote even if you remove the likes there continue to be opportunities for

Comparisons and feedback people can compare themselves to others and people can still post comments social media has a reinforcing nature using it activates the brain’s Reward Center by releasing dopamine a feel-good chemical link to pleasurable AC activities such as sex food and social interaction the platforms are designed to be addictive

And are associated with anxiety depression and even physical ailments according to the Pew Research Center 69% of adults and 81% of teens in the US use social media that’s damn near the entire country this puts a large amount of the population at an increased risk of feeling anxious depressed or ill

Over their social media use but what makes users come back for more even when it literally makes them sick quote when the outcome is unpredictable the behavior is more likely to repeat think of a slot machine if Gamers playing knew they were never going to get money by

Playing the game then they never would play Sperling says wow that’s actually a great metaphor the idea of potential future reward keeps the machines in use the same goes for social wow that is such a great illustration wow the idea of a potential future reward keeps the

Machines in use the same goes for social media sites one does not know how many likes a picture will get who will like the picture and when the picture will receive likes the unknown outcome and the possibility of a desired outcome can keep users engaged with the S

Wow and look at how we also think a lot about um the way we are like as if who we are is in a vacuum there’s even a chemical there’s even an a chemical process and relationship between our brains and how it interacts our bodies and how it engages and interacts with

Community social media this dopamine hit that essentially we’re chasing after just like a crackhead after crack a weed head after weed a alcoholic after liquor um and this reward based kind of biologically engineered system where we look to be affirmed we look for confirmation we look for

Affirmation as a communal species in one another is like literally what social media is using as its like addictive point this is very fascinating to me but with half of the country um engaging in social media and with depression anxiety and even physical ailments being the result of this remember me and you

Tyus were just talking a few days ago about the correlation between the mass Tings um quantifying themselves in a country in a correlation between social media and I was saying then I know there is a COR there has to be a correlation because to your point earlier you said

Look there was a time where you could leave your rifle on the back of the truck you wasn’t doing the most in schools look at all the things that black and brown people were going through during integration if there was any reason to start blowing [ __ ] up it

Would have been the onslaught of integrating with a group of people that had no problem visually physically showing us resistance and that we were unwanted unloved and unwelcomed and yet this was not the case but ironically there is something very unique that has been just dumped and downloaded and and um

That has been uh imposed upon our society and that has been this new boo CAU social media and I believe we are just in the shallow stages of beginning to understand just the chaos and drama that we have inadvertently or maybe by the PO that intentionally have Unearthed and

Unleashed CA if you ask me social media and AI is literally the Contemporary and modern forbidden fruit that has been bitten and I think we are just in the amateur stages of uh Power an an awareness and a potential that is beyond our under standing and I do think it would

Contribute to more harm than good because as you said nobody can doubt the positive impact social media has been able to have on one hand but that’s Al costing us according to all of the statistics is also costing the [ __ ] out of our Humanity yeah nobody can doubt

That either this is two sides of the coin here you know what I mean nobody could doubt that either I I feel conscience like I still I feel and I told you this before that I think overall social media or Global Communication is going to be overall a net

Positive I think again this is hindsight hindsight 2020 but I guess if you looked at you know Societies or civilizations that were able to take the next step and do like you know Intergalactic or Intergalactic travel and things like that part of the deal would be able to communicate at a

Global level right and so we have a lot of freaking information that yes has like you said has been dumped on us uh with you know the faucet still on full blast and I rather I honestly as a human being conscious I rather it be like that than

The other way where we get a trickle no let’s let let’s see if we’re capable so I think we’re capable as a society of getting through it now here’s the part as a black and Latino man that this has really been social media uh in Global

Communication been a so far a a net negative we were already dealing with identity crisis and not automatically knowing what tribes we belong to from you know the the variety of countries in Western central Africa we are already dealing with a a crisis of Faith let’s

Be clear we’ve all had we we all understand the kind of different ideology and thinking between going the Malcolm X route and the MLK route right um we understand you know there’s that pan-africanism element and then you see the the the black Israelites you have all these

Sectors that breathe from the fact that we’re constantly looking for an identity some sort of again like you said that void that vacuum especially we as men it it’s what I call our totem pole conscious like we need that totem pole that purpose to identify who we are and black men were

Already having a hard time struggling with that and then social media happened and now let’s be clear as as factual as trinkets of information is and and the and and all the studies and everything if you were already lost how do you put all of this [ __ ] together

Yeah exactly you were already barely piecing it through and then this tidal wave of information wiped all of your progress away yeah gosh I never even thought I never even thought about it from that vantage point of how so many people prior to the invention of social media did all

Of this interpersonal work only for a lot of these people absolutely to have had their progress ripped away by this new stimuli that completely exacerbated the variables in us as human beings that are that already naturally drive us to be pigmas because once again we are a communal species so almost by

Biological engineering we are driven to be social creatures but social media is literally amplifying that biological factor and this is where that dopamine um component is coming into play that is aiding Us in staying committed to this need to feel special to feel air to feel seen to feel heard to feel

Approved of all things that we would naturally be seeking out anyway but once again is comp founded because of the invention of social media and I just can’t imagine like because soon as you said that tyus I immediately thought about all of the women and men in this

Country who suffer from body dysmorphia who in the old world you know did their work to get their body dysmorphia under control to get their bulimia their anorexia under control who then were hit with this extreme wave of social media and filters and and mostly in silence

Right right before all that mostly in silence they was doing all that work oh my God yeah oh my God oh my goodness wow wow [ __ ] wow yeah wow wow [ __ ] this is wild this is this is beyond I cannot imagine what it is like for you to do the work to get

Yourself to be convinced that you’re all right that you’re okay as you are that there’s no need to change only for the world to literally encourage the complete opposite by giving you and everybody else the option to alter yourself digitally which also has contributed to a influx in the Cosmetic Surgery see we

Can see the relationship yeah social media and self-editing applications of filters have created unrealistic beauty standards body types that people are literally now attempting to go and make a reality on the medical table so now the Cosmetic industry is booming in the billions because people know what their

I what they believe their idealistic self can look like like thanks to the inventions of these filters and are trying to go and Achieve that unrealism and imagine if like and if if if if people with nobody dysmorphia issue are falling victim to this and are being gravitationally

Suctioned into this issue into this body morphia this is issue could you imagine the people who already have body dysmorphia being completely vulnerable and susceptible to the chaos that something like this creates if people unfortunately I’m sorry but unfortunately dark skinned women deal with that a lot if people who

Didn’t even have these issues prior are not surviving under the societal pressure to ass simulate this way how in the [ __ ] do you do that as somebody who already is susceptible to issues with your body in your anatomy and your autonomy go ahead tyos this is no I I

Was really I’m really sorry for interrupting um like I’ve heard my cousins talk about that uh most of my cousins are either black or Puerto Rican and especially uh my my black cousins they would always say like you know bring up like colorism and I would only hear about colorism from like black

Women you know what I mean and so my my cousins would always bring that up even when we were like younger and everything about like you know all the lightskinned girls or the lightskinned boys and then I remember a conversation when uh a few years ago ago

When we were older about how much worse it got because my cousins are dark skinn women because with the rise of social media even though maybe it was known now you realize conscious oh in India and China they got a whole booming industry over lightening your

Skin right the lighter you are you know what what I think in India is the the cast system or whatever it is they call it um and in China too it’s it’s even funny vice vice news did a whole uh a whole segment on that where they literally just hire white people because

It gives credibility to whatever product they’re they uh they’re Marketing in China right and so you got that and then of course that inherently because that’s culture based that’s media entertainment all of those fresh new products and perspectives and and cultural ways of lightening your skin comes through Y and now only for

Dark skin women who have been having to navigate that now being like well [ __ ] I can’t use none of this [ __ ] right and so all that was was another Gap or another thing that widen the Gap like I I just like at the outside looking in I can’t even imagine

What that we dealing with that is because you’re especially as a dark skinned woman you are again unfairly at the bottom of the total pole through no other reason than existence and then this [ __ ] happens which is why I don’t understand why we keep electing and voting some of those privileged

People into positions of power when all these tables at the top need to have people at the bottom also pulled up to them you cannot properly you can’t effectively create a healthy algorithm for any society without the information the impact and the data from the people who are the most impacted by those

Algorithms and the fact that we largely participate in a system without the voices of the poor the disenfranchised and then yet think we’re going to have a healthy Society is wild and exactly why we haven’t been able to achieve a working system that is decent for all people

And you know I’m at this point in my life personally where I’m just willing to call certain things poison period And even and right now like social media is a poison and I even as a content creator I even have to take like my fair shell breaks because yeah my mental health was

Like in a dark place like the last three weeks just and literally it was because of social media social media is has has a very unnatural impact on the psyche and it makes us overly aware and it makes us hyper sensitive and trying to survive everything just

With the invention of social media alone as just very new and weird to me such as like like so like let’s say that like in the normal world if you’re in need of trying to get in contact with a loved one um and you can reach them at the

Moment your brain could easily like it was easier to rationalize why they were not available and to keep your expectations that they more than likely will get back to you um at their earliest convenience but you can call somebody now leave them a voicemail shoot them a

Text and you see them all up and down social media all day and they’ve yet to respond to that call to that voicemail to that text and now the the sabotaging part of your brain go into hyper mode and create a narrative based upon what you’re seeing and what you’re

Witnessing which can also lead to the breakdown of those friendships or those family ships or because they they create perceptions and and I do think we have too much insight into each other’s lives and and and I’m not shocked that there’s so much loneliness and so much unhappiness that people are having in

Their marriages and their family groups and their friendship groups and so many people despite being more connected you know than ever now are only connected virtually but are not truly connected sentient and psychically and and in a substantive in a substantive way this connection is literally only skin deep

As it relates to social media and what do you tell yourself when you have when you can see people ignoring you now you can see the people closest to you like what’s occupying their time what they’re prioritizing over you like I don’t know how we’re supposed to navigate this

Uh I don’t have an answer for you either I think that answer might come organically um I think as far as social media goes as far as the infrastructure I really do think there’s no reason for the activity feed to be public like at all like you shouldn’t I shouldn’t be

Able to go to somebody’s page and see what they’ve been scrolling through like that’s that’s for me that feels like an invasion of privacy um and maybe just cutting just turning that feature off by itself I wonder what the long-term effects positive or negative could do for how we

Navigate social media moving forward you know what I mean I I just never understood why you’re somebody’s activity feed should be public like that I don’t that’s just me though oh I was on mute I think it’s very public on Twitter right it’s public everywhere right or

Just about oh I don’t know I’ve never um actually like looked through anybody’s um I’ve never used I mean if that’s an option I’ve never used it I can’t even deal with the damn like surface [ __ ] that that I see yet along actually go into you know all the I don’t even want

Half the [ __ ] information I have in my [ __ ] head um about what’s already known you know on on on the surface of all this [ __ ] and that’s why even a lot of times I don’t even scroll like I just upload and get and and haul ass I don’t like yeah

I’ll just make my post and go I don’t even like I I I have to because I am empathic and I am somebody who like I come from a big family I come from and an era that was without social media I’m very much so still into very

Like real blood driven relationships and kind of dealing in this era where there’s a lot of like shallow interaction available and it’s very digitalized and it’s like cyborg in nature it’s just weird and it’s uncomfortable and it’s not and it’s honestly kind of annoying and frustrating and I just have to like

Really control my ratio when it comes to social media um I I I I’m willing at this point right now based upon the way that we use social media and the Damage that is causing despite the good things that comes out of it right now I I I’m going

To classify social media and AI as forbidden fruit and as poison um and I encourage people to like cuz what’s ironic is that there’s data around how all of these statistics start to fall away for people who are disconnected from social media people who have um deactivated their Facebooks

Deactivated their Instagrams who have terminated these apps Etc are happier they’re feeling happier they feel healthier they you know there’s like already immediate notable positives to disengaging from this [ __ ] um and I guess as a remedy to the way we can remedy through this I think that first and foremost I need all

Earthlings to realize social media is a choice you actually don’t have to use it and I know that it’s being toward us as a necessity as something that needs to be integrated into our everyday lives because that’s quote unquote where the world is that’s where everybody is but

It still is a choice and you don’t have to accept that and the minute that you begin to feel your mental health decline um it’s important for you to figure out what your relationship actually needs to be with something like this um it does have a negative effect you aren’t crazy

Or insecure or hyper sensitive or just week because you’re having a difficult time enjoying social media or participating in there literally is something wrong in the formula and the research around us is illustrating that so you’re not crazy and you’re not out of your [ __ ] mind and don’t allow

Social media to make you question yourself and your Wellness because it it it it there is a place for that conversation but social media is also the bad guy too it it also is the abusive boyfriend and girlfriend as well so there is that um thirdly I would

Suggest at this point I’m G to say make social media illegal in your household if you have young people um I’m raising nieces and nephews so they’re not like largely M solely but you know I’m I’m co-parenting but if I at my own children I’m sorry they would not be

Able to access they’ll be able to use the internet but they would not be able to access social media until they were 18 I feel like social media requires just as much of a damn license to experience just as much as a automobile requires a license to drive because that’s just

How incredibly dangerous social media can be just not only from a mental and emotional and a spiritual standpoint but also the physical danger that young people can end up in with thinking they’re talking to other teenagers and they’re talking to a grown ass man or

Woman who is to abduct them and to meet them at school and you know to never have them be seen Again by their families the online scamming that’s happening the extortion and blackmail that’s happening where you have I remember watching the special on Dr field where these kids were being like

Extorted by people they thought were their peers who they met you know through some online app and they were you know sexting and trading news only to find out that it was a scam artist who was extracting these images for them and then extorting them in return like

If you don’t give me I’m going to upload your nudes to you know Facebook or I’m going to email all of your T like you know and like some of the women that were victims of like the revenge porn situations and things like that uploaded on social

Media yeah and the guys like there were there have been cases of like young men who took their lives as a result of being exported yeah so this is something that’s not you know it’s it’s it’s both genders um and it’s just vow you know it’s it’s also the scamming like the way

That these scammers can extract your information just based upon like an email they sending you and they can hack your computer they can look at you through your webcam on your phone on your tablet on your laptop um you can be secretly surveyed by the devices in your

Own home unbeknownst to you hackers can hack your surveillance home uh uh your home surveillance I mean they can extract your personal information your banking information so there’s just so much [ __ ] going on like honestly I don’t give a damn my children would be

Mad at me all the [ __ ] they want to um but they would not be able to have social media they would not be able to have no [ __ ] Instagram no [ __ ] Facebook they wouldn’t be able to look at it no no no nothing um they could do their homework on the internet utilize

Google for research purposes you know they could play games and [ __ ] but in terms of social media no they no i c i I can barely do social media like the the [ __ ] that it does to me as a grown ass evolved and arguably Lucid individual

Who’s very disciplined I even have to be I’m at war with these forces on social media there’s no [ __ ] way in hell that I could think that people less evolved and more impressionable who have less disciplines um in their Arsenal could survive what we’re seeing young people not

Survive you know I think this article says what tus that 81% of teenagers are social media users that’s damn near every teenager that’s damn near every teenager in the country yeah that that’s why uh I I can’t I can’t take uh I I let my daughters have social

Media because in this world in this current Society I’d be putting putting them at a disadvantage um thankfully you know um I was station in Germany for five years and I got to see how they kind of raised the kids and guess what man they had nudity on TV there’s no they’re not

Editing out cuss words and music on the radio and yet they violence rate is a joke compared to our country and it really makes sense and this also helped because of my dad too my dad always taught me even with music and movies going growing up hey man this is just

Entertainment do not take this seriously yeah right and if he even caught me starting to somewhat remotely behave like some of them people on TV or in the music he snatched that [ __ ] up you know what I mean and I took the same route with with my daughters you know what I

Mean and by the way I’m an active parent because every social media account they got I got that same app and I’m following them shits and yes people I know about they [ __ ] they little things where they tried to log on to different people’s account and make different profiles I done deactivated

Their phone uh uh for a whole six months because of that [ __ ] and they’ve never done it again because when they know that your parents are watching you know actively engage with the social media [ __ ] for the most part they use it for what supposed to be used for fun to your

Point conscience there’s not enough parents and people teaching their children that way right they’re not teaching their children to use this as entertainment fund this is how I like my Instagram conscious you see it what I’m posting my rods you know what I mean like like family stuff

Like you know just normal [ __ ] I’m not looking at I’m not posting anything looking to get you know I guess engagement from a broader audience and that’s the same way my daughters do it but I have to understand my daughters are teenagers they 15 and

13 yeah they want to do the little Tik Tock challenges and things like that and guess what 81% AKA 100% of all their friends are doing that you know what I mean so it’s now become weirdly enough that you know W without that sort of social media

Activity at least in a healthy way you know with things like group chats like I’m learning that group chats are thing like if you’re not in certain group chats or whatever you considered a loser like that shit’s crazy but that’s a [ __ ] thing and you know just their entire Social

Circle is something that actually you could easily navigate as long as you’re engaged not helicopter parent but engage with them like I tell my daughter’s conscience like especially your friends who got a who got a iPhone put it on FaceTime because I understand we live in

A digital Society but at least if you’re still looking at your friends face to face you still get that interaction that eye that direct eye contact you know what I mean like like like you see the the expressions and gestures and things likeable yeah yeah they’re they’re more

Personable um like take the opportunity used to do that like I’ve had my daughters I’ve showed them my email and show them hey this is a spam don’t ever open this cuz it’s going to be a virus and things like that had to identify that kind of Fraud and stuff and again

As a parent they know that that’s not your [ __ ] phone I will go through your [ __ ] when I feel like it you know what I mean and and and it there’s still that do you ever get anxiety before you look like do you ever just be like okay

Hope what the [ __ ] I hope I’m about to see noral [ __ ] I don’t want to see her busting in open I don’t want to see a I don’t want to see no sexon I don’t want to see no titties I don’t I just hope what I’m about to [ __ ] see is normal age

Appropriate content in my teenagers [ __ ] I get so much anxiety checking my nieces and nephews stuff I just oh my God please God please please I’m not ready I’m not ready God please let all this parenting completely have paay it off based like let what I’m about to see

Make sense C I can’t I’m knocking on wood but so far conscience the worst I’ve had to deal with is some very Choice profanity words and you know certain rap lyrics and [ __ ] you know what I could deal with that no bullying don’t nothing like that so I I could

Deal with it now since you have chosen to be a parent who’s going to look have you also decided okay if I find things in there that I totally do not agree with what what what happens after that like do you have anything in place yeah so um one it’s crazy the most

Powerful tool I got is that I forgot uh the the time thing uh the parental control on on the yeah on the family sharing on Apple because oh they hate it because sometimes conscious especially when they got their phones early I would just cut they [ __ ] phones off at random times

Just to let them know I could do it yeah just on some arch villain [ __ ] you know what I mean just to let them know hey dad’s watching and I know that might sound crazy but y kids need that they need to know hey Dad Mom dad’s around

The corner if if you get caught slipping you can allow them to fall into a routine they have to they have to be on their toes because that’s what’s gonna keep their nose clean if they know that okay I don’t know when I don’t know when that [ __ ] gonna come around the

Mountain yeah so it’s like I tell them I’m like yo I better not see no crazy ass photos yeah and I know y’all be [ __ ] I know about that Snapchat [ __ ] I know how it works don’t let me hop on your [ __ ] app and see some [ __ ] though you get what I mean

And I will stand there when they go through it now if it’s like I know like the profanity is not for me in the big picture is not a big deal but it’s like a standard you know I want them talking or speaking in public

A certain way you get what I mean so I was like man you know I’m gonna take your phone you ain’t taking your phone to school for like a couple days or something like that right now if it’s some Choice photos which knock on wood I haven’t ran into yet right we’re going

To have a different discussion we’re going to talk about time time limits like hey you know what this phone’s getting cut off at 9:00 you could probably still watch TV and stuff like that but you ain’t texting anybody that thing is now a glorified brick or it’s

Just an alarm clock until tomorrow you know what I mean uh anything worse than that which God I I I don’t even want to think about yeah we gonna have the phone deactivated now you need a serious timeout and it just it’s just not enough to take your phone because you’re not

Doing your chores if you get to that level now you you can’t have this and I hope I never get to that level because if I ever get to that level conscious that’s a direct reflection of my failure as a father because that means I wasn’t engaged enough the message whatever

Whatever methods I was using wasn’t working you get what I mean because we know kids are going to [ __ ] up but there’s levels to how they screw up you know what I mean absolutely absolutely so let’s return back a little bit to this article which I Had To

Shimmy on over to uh social media and read a [ __ ] real quick all right uh the digital age of vulnerability the earlier team start using social media the greater impact the platforms have on Mental Health this is especially true for females while teen males tend to express aggression physically females do

So relationally by excluding others and sharing hurtful comments social media increases the opportunity for such harmful interactions Spurling offers the example of a seventh grader whose best friend chooses a new best friend and post pictures of the pair at the movies are on a weekend trip quote 20 years ago

The girl may have been excluded for her best friend’s activities but she may not have known about it unless she was told explicitly Sperling says in addition to providing young people with a window through which they can view Mis experiences social media puts a distorted lens on appearances and reality Facebook Instagram Snapchat

Increase the likelihood of seeing unrealistic filtered photos at a time when teen bodies are changing in the past team R magazines that contain altered photos of models now these images are one thumb scroll away at any given time apps that provide the user with airbrushing teeth whitening and

More filters are easy to find and easier to use it’s only it’s not only celebrities who look perfect it’s everyone when there’s a filter applied to the digital world it can be hard for teens to tell what’s real and what isn’t which comes at a difficult time for them

Physically and emotionally quote middle school already is challenging for students with all of their developmental changes as they go through puberty their task with establishing their identity at a time when the frontal Lopes in their brain are not fully developed and there is a lack of impulse control all of this

Happens while their relationships with peers become more important in Sperling says quote it’s a very vulnerable population to have access to something where there is no stop gap before they post or press the send button I think that’s something of which to be mindful adults are vulnerable too in recent

Years plastic surgeons have been seen have seen an uptick and request from patients who want to look like they filtered Snapchat and Instagram photos a New York Times article that ran in June 2018 features a newly wed couple who nearly separated after their honeymoon the reason the wife spent more time on

The trip planning and posting selfies than she spent with her actual damn husband Sparling acknowledges social media platforms have positive aspects such as their ability to allow people to stay in touch with family and friends around the world she realizes the potential pitfalls of completely Banning

Teams from sites that have become a part of life for their generation not just as a way for them to stay on top of recent parties and conversations but often as expected source of announcements and news still she says the platforms have opened wow Pandora’s Box now that’s been

Our language as they continue to evolve more quickly then we can research their impact I think we need to take a step back and look at the role technology is playing in our society as a whole in terms of people needing instant gratification staying home and not

Interacting in the community by going to local stores or to the movie theater she says even dating apps can decrease motivation for single adults to approach others in the community if they think they if they just if they think they can just connect with them on an app first

In addition to limiting likes as Instagram has done Spurling suggest social platforms consider decreasing Mass sharing alog together they might function more as messaging services by highlighting one-on-one Communications regardless of how likely social media Giants are to change their ways though individuals can take control of their own behavior distract yourself from the

Distraction people aren’t usually motivated to change their social media use by simply hearing is bad for them it’s better for individuals to see what their limits are it’s probably unrealistic for most social media users to quit completely however they can monitor their behavior to see how use

Impacts them and how to act as a result Michelle knows this all too well when she initially treated was initially treated for anxiety her therapist asked if she was an act if she was active on social media and she said yes it turns out that a lot of my anxiety and

Imposture syndrome is made worse when I’m online a person experiences imposture syndrome when feeling chronic self-doubt and a sense of being exposed as a fraud in terms of success and intellect whether it’s another pretty vac or someone’s bouquet of flowers my mind went from why not me to I don’t

Deserve those things and I don’t know why and it made me feel awful she and her therapist decided to set ground rules quote if I was to continue using social media I had to learn what would trigger my anxiety and how using different platforms make me feel says

Michelle the result was her deleting Snapchat for good and after five years she still doesn’t miss it I was talking about that too the people who walking away feel more empowered and healthier she still active on several other platforms though Spurling encourages people to conduct their own behavior

Experiments by rating their emotions on a scale of 10 to of zero to 10 with t being the most intensively one intensely one could experience an emotion before and after using social media sites at the same time each day for a week if one notices that one feels less happy after

Using them then one might consider changing how one uses social media sites such as using them for less time and doing other activities that one enjoys instead so what’s interesting about this is that like I have oh Willow Green says thank you this is one of the best shows

I ever seen lately on any channel you are welcome we do it all honey y told y’all we do it all man you know we can gag we can roast we can turn up on the celebrity gossip and we can you know have fun and then you know we also got

To get into some we got to get into the thick of the [ __ ] we gotta get into some you know to some practical [ __ ] to some real life [ __ ] um but what’s fascinating uh Roose about this is um I’ve been contemplating lately unfollowing all of the people that I know

Personally on yeah on my social medias I I also have been and I have already started muting their pages so a lot of people that I’m connected to who I know personally on social media I have customized like my settings and I don’t even like see them in my algorithm so I

Would have to like manually go and look if I wanted to see them and I’ve done that to avoid some of the pitfalls that I’ve you know talk to you about like it does feel God awful when you are in need of your friends or your family members

And you’re trying to get in contact with them for something that’s important to you and they’re not available but you can see them interacting on social media you can see them engaging strangers in the comment section you can see them making posts about stupid [ __ ] but you know and the the catastrophe and

Perception that can create in your mind about them and about the strength of their relationship it can really bring their relationship into confrontation because you question the work and all of that and so as a way for me to avoid you know that um has been me

Controlling if I you know if I want to see what they’re up to on social media but and then I begin to and then I begin to weigh you know if the Friendship has if the friendship or the family ship have weaknesses based upon if um more information is divulged to

Social media than it is to you know me as somebody who’s personal in their lives and then from there you know I can decide if some conversations need to happen you know if I need to bring some things to you know their awareness if there’s some ground rules we need to

Establish you know when we are engaging each other Etc but you know it’s a lot it’s a it’s a [ __ ] lot to deal with um what are your thoughts that is a very that’s an interesting method you got to keep me updated on how that h on that you know

How that works I already feel so much better yeah like I’m already I’m already so happy because it’s it’s easier for me to look at strangers because I’m not invested in them so like seeing their [ __ ] is nothing but you know um I it yeah it it has made it has given

Me a sense of autonomy by not not having a relationship to my loved ones social media platforms it also keeps me on it keeps me actually also like instead of getting my fix when they come to mind by just going and you know into their social medias because

I’m not trying to connect with them through social media it motivates me to have to like actually send them a text or a call to actually check in actually make contact you know not just go look you know at their at their thread on social media um so it keeps me active it

Keeps me being direct it keeps me engaging it keeps me interactive and because of social media’s existence it’s become it’s become even more important for me to actually prioritize that because I realize that social media can accidentally strip strip a relationship of that substance and of that intimacy so now I make

Sure you know to really focus upon my interpersonal relationships and to make sure that I’m actually really showing up and almost treating those relationships as if social media doesn’t exist at all when I actually get to know a person I actually I remove their social media out

Of my reality alog together like it’s not even a thing anymore you know like you are now a real person to me and I’m going to interact with you as if social media does not exist so yes I’m going to call we’re going to hang out out I need

To see you we need to vac we need to go pop some [ __ ] at the club we need uh we need to go get a drink we need like I’m G to treat it as if your social media don’t exist that’s the only way I know how to maintain the Integrity of their

Relationships is by not allowing social media to drive the will of my relationships yeah I I I like that a lot um if we’re nearby and we’re friends um should be able to hit you up through text you should be able to hit me up through a phone call through a

Text we should be able to link up somewhat you know at least once in the Blue Moon all right I get for people that you know you’re bounced around everywhere you got friends all around and sometimes the only way y’all keep up with each other is through social media

Now you know maybe it was work friends and you mov to another location like I get it but you know social media has got to be a tool not you know a a feature of your life like like what you’re saying conscious like like for me I use it as a tool like

At least me and my boys are like the communities I’m part of like we’re posting our rides we’re arguing about who’s who’s got the best mods or the best speakers and [ __ ] like that you know what I mean like you know we showing off our like like men we like

Showing off our gadgets our toys and and our man caves and [ __ ] like that um if I’m ever in a situation where I need a bunch of likes because I’m trashing somebody personally on social media I don’t care what that situation is I fail yeah because if I’m using social media to air

Out personal grievance you know your dirty laundry stuff that needs to that yeah you should have called or text or something like that it doesn’t matter the scenario at this point it’s an automatic failure for for everyone involved right it shows a lack of immaturity I think it does conscious

Shows shallowness in the relationship between those between the individual or individuals as you’re saying right like I mean hell conscious we we text each other and they even through social media like that you know what I mean like most of my friends and and the my closest family

We text we share pictures yeah like some of the most biggest events that’s who you share it with you’re not gonna find out we’re not gonna be so-called besties and this major event in my life you found out on Instagram like that that’s kind of crazy right

And I I think your method is pretty pretty good yeah I’m um I only I I don’t even like texting to be honest like I will only I do more I allow more texting yeah like I I do more text I will allow more texting if the relationship is local because I know

That we actually have space and time to actually like get up and do 3D things but if like their relationship is long distance um yeah like those relationships I make sure like we got a video chat we gotta talk on the phone like I gotta hear you

I gotta find a way to substitute that lack of 3D and I don’t and because it’s already long distance the consistent Tex SC is just really not going to I mean I mean I mean it it can help for those who like for some reason my brain does not allow me to accept

Text as a meaningful exchange like I can like for me like my brain really uses text for practical things but I really don’t like be trying to have no real [ __ ] conversation through text like if if it’s like if you trying to really have a moment like just actually engage me and

Create the moment like don’t be communicating like like you’re heart in your soul through bold black letters on a screen I mean that’s just kind of like I don’t know it’s like upside down as hell to me so I’m really like um I don’t know I

I have really struggled with this age of social media because it really is raping the essence out of a lot of meaningful exchanges and it’s creating these like artificially flavored engagements and because I know what the real thing tastes like and feel like I’m never going to be able to be quite

Satisfied with the artificially flavored um I prefer like real bananas and not these like GMO relationships but like these you know from the mud up ass exchanges and I have just accepted that that’s who I am and that’s what I want and I have and I don’t longer feel like guilty about not

Participating in relationships through this medium I used to feel guilty because it’s like this is what everybody doing this is where everybody at this is how everybody getting down and I need to find a way to make this like I need to find a way to to accept this and and the

More I tried to the more miserable it made me because it’s just not me and I don’t come from I’m so glad to be a millennial and have lived in the world prior to because I actually have like a reference for the world without and I I able to make compare and

Contrast between both dimensions and now you can pull try to pull from both both worlds yeah like I’m able to then like really utilize the strengths of Both Worlds and and you know be aware of the weaknesses of both and I’m able just to just have that customizable so instead

Of just allowing this age to tell me or to inform me entirely it’s me kind of taking my power back and saying no I don’t have to participate in this way I don’t have to use this this way I don’t have to engage in this way I can create

My own system and it is up to me to just you know commit myself to living and engaging the people in my life in a way that means something to me even if that’s different from the way that you know the rest of the world now is moving

Which is toward a more virtual digital reality um but I’m not joining in on the hype and on the trend I’m I’m I’m I’m I’m keeping uh large chunk of the old school yeah I I felt it I like I like uh modern tech I like adapting

And evolving I have the tra some traditional aspects but like that’s why I like panels because I’m like okay we live in a digital age people you know in and out oh [ __ ] we got panels we got Discord so you want to hop in chat a

Little bit or or have a discussion and things like that you know people in and out like cool because guess what we’re still speaking to each other you you know we we’re still engaged in a in an actual conversation not through um not through you know a massive wall of

Text yeah yeah and Dion um not Dion but um shaa says you know talking about now you know how you the misinterpretation that can come through text and that’s also like that’s why I say like you just have to have like friendship and group boundaries like if we agree that we’re

Going to go out together and spend some quality time together then we also agreed to largely not use our phones to substitute the empty space like we’re g actually GNA like we’re actually going to engage each other like you know I don’t want to sit at dinner with you and be talking to

You while you’re also scrolling through Instagram you know or I’m not going to be letting you talk to me and you’re sharing with me you know like what’s going on and stuff going on at the job or you know stuff going on with the kids and I’m sitting there looking at you I’m

Ad living but I’m also sharing you with Facebook which is going to be there in an hour when I get home why do I need to also integrate that into this moment with this real life person who may not be there in an hour you may not even be

Alive by tomorrow and I’m sharing you with something that is Immortal while you are a completely temporal being so like I have agreements in my uh family ships and friendships to where it’s like if we’re going to like you know really take time to be together then let’s

Actually focus on like giving each other that time and also it’s interesting to me because social social media has also I don’t know like it it Stripped Away also the creativity that otherwise would manifest between two people trying to figure out how to use each other to entertain each

Other but now it’s like like those creative juices don’t even have to flow because once again you can just defer to social media you know For Your Entertainment even together versus like in the old world me and my friends would actually like go out like we would

Go create experiences in the world like we became like the world was our social media and we also sometimes became the source of entertainment like and and having nothing but each other encouraged you know us you know it encouraged us to have real personalities and to um have

Real engagements because that’s all we had was ourselves but now with social media is like you know it’s just so easy to be lazy as a group it’s easy to be lazy together even in spending time and I don’t know it’s just like I you know

Like I’ve just try my best to not let social media be a side chick in my relationships with my loved ones I honestly just really can’t stand social media I just can’t stand it I cannot I’m just gonna be honest I yeah I can’t

Stand soci I cannot stand it I hate it I hate social media and that’s a weird because I’m a content creator yeah I haia like I hate it I I yeah I’m learning I’m this thing I’m I’m I’m I’m striving to figure it all out

Yeah I I got lucky I’ve had a different experience with social media for the most part like I I love like I hated a few a few years ago on Facebook or the ESPN used to have like the Facebook comment section and so oh my God I

Misses so much conscious because we as men that’s where we like congregate is like sports networks and stuff like that right and so you really at this point like you really had to be on your aame when you typed out a paragraph or who you defending or what team you repping

And if you even missed a [ __ ] decimal point in them statistics the entire Community is roasting you to know it you know what I mean it but like it was like a gladiator Arena that that we love but that was that was that was the unifying

Factor right it was the sports and then like I find the car communities and people like like like Beamer clubs and stuff like that um and things that I’m interested in like for example the people who take asala what is it astronomy uh photography yeah those be some

Crazy uh photos that they capture and it’s just cool to to you know you just hashtag you know photography hash carbon fiber you know what I mean and now we’re engaging over that thing but I that’s for me because I’ve always used social media as nothing more than a tool you

Know what I mean and that luckily that’s worked out for me yeah yeah yeah and that’s what I encourage is you know like everybody to just be empowered by like letting social media revolve around your personality it’d be the other way around like you know cuz we’re all different and we have

Different capacities for input output and we all you know just have the things that make us unique and so you know shape your relationship around these things based upon you and instead of letting like social media um decide for you because if you let that happen it’s like you just going to

Find yourself in the eye of the storm you’re just going to be like swirling around being thrashed that’s said the algorithm is the killer yeah Al the algorithm dictates what how you engage so situation so I guess and piling it like taking the car all the way back to the initial subject about

Men experiencing friendship recession obviously social media can be a positive which this guy named Quincy he utilize social media to create um something real in his actual life uh because he could have easily just created an online Forum true you know instead he could easily just created a online group but he actually

You like social media was a utility instead instead of a destination it was just more of a of a tool and these men you know are now able to embark on a real physical Brotherhood and friendship and get the interactiveness that they need um from as you said being able to like

Look into people’s eyes and hear people’s laughter and go in enjoy nature together and go out into the world together and to really like have a uh a community and people to share your life with people you can bring into your life bring into your home people

That you can um be by the side of and who can support you when you support them I think that that’s a brilliant step in the right direction and that’s also one of the positives that can come out of social media which is like largely based upon what we use it for

Um what would you also like encourage men to do who like feel lonely like do you encourage like men to be more vocal and admit that to themselves so that they can then can I be straight up conscious yeah specifically the black men stop calling all these different

Activities that are foreign to you white black people can snowboard black people can ski yes black people because we’re not we’re black Americans so we’re not you know born and raised in Africa we can go on safaris we can get passports you can be bougie right you can be country you can

Ride four-wheelers you can ride pickup trucks right you can climb the top of the corporate ladder right you can go hiking you can go whitewater rafting right you can go camping okay this [ __ ] is not white it’s it’s just an activity it’s what people all around the world do and stop calling

Everything gay because you can cuddle up with your bro in an open roasted fire and sit under a blanket together that’s pretty gay even the gay people will call that pretty gay yeah women do it all I’m Ser women do it women cuddled up women hold hands

Women are not afraid to be in physical proximity to other female bodies this allow a level of depth and intimacy that’s epic I mean this even reflected in the New Testament Jesus was washing the feet of his disciples they kissed each other they huged each other they stripped that stigma from physical touch

And embrace the vulnerability and and the sacredness of love between people of the same sex which doesn’t necessarily which isn’t necessarily mutually exclusive to being homosexual you know and so I think that black men could that’s what we got yeah like I think that black men could do better because it’s so funny

That black men are that men largely are obsessed with physical contact sports football soccer basketball wrestling kickboxing but yet are afraid to [ __ ] hug each other for more than five seconds so it’s like the only time touch should be a priority shouldn’t be when you’re being violent with each other or

When you’re being athletic but you can also Embrace that on an interpersonal level and you would be surprised at how much um strength strengthen power and bond is strengthen and also like strengthening the physical touch with like between you and members of the opposite I mean you and members of the same

Sex yeah I mean whatever it is T said Hein with all that [ __ ] I mean hey look to each his own man but whatever it is it still requires you being intentional about it right yeah like if you find the community most like like like you said like at

Least a lot of those communities that’s handson or you got gadgets and toys yeah it’s more of a tool you guys are sharing knowledge but yeah you guys are meeting up you guys are doing some [ __ ] together and by the way that’s when they really find out whether you a fraud or not

And some of you guys I think really need to be in an uncomfortable situation I think there’s too many men conscience who haven’t been forced for whatever reason really haven’t been forced to to be in uncomfortable situations and so that’s got to be manufactured by intentionally putting ourselves in uncomfortable

Situations from even your perspective as if uh from what you just suggested you know what I mean but yeah like stop thinking things is gay or stop thinking everything is just white people activities or or you to hood or or or or bro stop saying you a real [ __ ] bro what Nas need

Hug [ __ ] hugs most of these see because this is something that’s missing we’ve had so much female engagement because the women often times stayed behind to take care of the family and provide and they huged and kissed and gave us bedtime stories but a lot of these men are actually missing

The love of a archetyp of father figure they and because that absence was physically there like the thing that can really close the gap and help to heal that childhood trauma too is once again actually embracing hug each other like I come from a hugging ass family like the

Men in my family squeeze you up to death and plant a big ass kiss on your forehead on your cheek um you know that there’s such a there such it’s almost a event when they see you like almost like they’re they’re they’re communicating uh they’re communicating verbally but

Through the Embrace of deep hugs and just pulling you in and just giving you all that and there’s something powerful about you know being given all of that you know not just through words or just through an invite and you know hey come over and we sit together and you know

Eat popcorn and watch sports together but actually somebody just literally wanting to squeeze and kiss the love into to you wanting that to be a physical uh Synergy imposed upon you like I’m going to transfer the joy of you being here in my life and showing up in I’m going to physically biologically

Transfer that [ __ ] into your ass by way of touch touch is important um all of this is important you know spending time together as tus is saying getting together uh touch is important and matter of fact I was going to share that just a few days ago I was on the phone

With one of my my heterosexual peers and once again because I’m like intentionally curving social media I’m doubling down on making sure that I’m having the most like sentient vulnerable uh expressions of my love for the people in my life that I can so I was literally so uncomfortably yet vulnerably

Rewardingly confessing my love to him and I literally was telling him I said sometimes I’m gonna come off as really gay really gay I’m gonna come off so deeply gay but I just want you to know the context of all that sugar in this tank is my Comm commitment to unapologetically and without

Shame standing in the sentimental that I truly authentically have for you and our connection and our friendship and I don’t want to strip myself or dilute that experiencing myself and I don’t want to give it to you in a diluted fashion because if it’s not gay

To give your Bros a hard because if you because if you were to leave here tomorrow I need to know that you knew how much you mean to me and if I were to leave here tomorrow once again I need to know that I showed up fully

In this love and I a give a damn and guess what my homeboy met me right in the middle baby and it was a sappy feminine ass moment and we are going to uncomfortably create a new normal in our friendship by not being ashamed to have affection toward each other and to show

Affection whether that’s verbal affection whether that’s physical affection whatever it is that we are not going to allow social stigmas and patriarchy and social media and all these things that are trying to just pick up the walls to exist and we’re going to be present gonna be present and that’s way

I want to live because I feel so much more well when I don’t have to give a [ __ ] about being Miss understood and when I can just exist in the Feelgood that’s in me and I can transfer that to you and demonstrate that to you through action or through words or through

Whatever it is I’m at my best Humanity when I am strip of a [ __ ] to give I don’t care and I love that I’m getting connected to other people who are taking that Journey too and they’re saying to themselves too who really does give a [ __ ] at the end

Of the day I showed up to be loved I showed up to be cared for I showed up to be taken care of I showed up to have support in my life and to have people who believe in me I showed up for all this [ __ ] and the powerful thing about emotions

Tyus is that I look at emotions as our metap like emotions are our metaphorical taste buds if if you are numbing yourself to your feelings as terrible as feeling can be sometime and as much as it can can be can feel like a curse it also is literally the [ __ ] that

Life is made and love is made out of and when you just open your heart to that [ __ ] and you do not allow filters to exist it is just the most exhilarating shot of um serotonin dopamine it’s the [ __ ] that good quality crack is made it out of it’s it’s such a

Brill and this why we attracted to religion this why we attracted to spiritual systems because they encourage this this this love and this letting go and this this opportunity to divorce the material world and materiality and these material barriers and to give ourselves over to this ecstasy that turns into some people

Completely passing out running around shouting crying stomping dancing it turns into this um expression it turns into this art it turns into this personification because it’s it’s energy unrestricted and that’s what love is when you just let it be love and you don’t make it about gay straight man

Woman and you just let it be about love and What’s Understood don’t need to be no it don’t need to be no understanding and in perfect love in perfect love comes perfect trust to just be able to be and I just want to specifically encourage men’s Community

To take take take take some pointers out of the women’s book because they’re getting a lot of this [ __ ] right which is once again why those statistics look a whole lot better for them in terms of their relationship to themselves they’re living longer they’re lasting longer they’re more satisfied in

In their friendships and relationships because there’s reciprocation and there’s emotional engagement and emotional vulnerability there more present men need this and and I’m so glad that is that as embarrassing as Quincy and his group may seem that on some level there may be a cringe factor that it’s so inspiring and light and

Love to men bringing voice to their loneliness and to their feelings and men being bold enough to take these emotional Journeys into themselves and be able to take that with each other that is some really revolutionary [ __ ] and black men deserve that in a world that has emasculated

Them that has decapitated them that has reduced them and controlled their truth and their narrative since the beginning black men deserve this too black women deserve it and black men deserve it too men huh well [Laughter] said yeah it is well said and we’ve been

Here for three and a half hours I think this was good tyus dang we’ve been here that long didn’t man we was cruising yeah it kind of didn’t it didn’t feel like it really but kind of didn’t this was awesome like look people in the comment

Were saying girl this is the best shows and this is the these are the type of shows you only gonna get here this was one of the happening man yeah yeah because see I saw how that friendship recession conversation went on the other platform no comp no comparison night night and day

How you have a dialogue chaotic truth about it it was that bad man come on this how you this how you commentate [ __ ] about sship recession chaotic truth this how you do that fizz shout out the utus shout out to you conscious this was this was amazing this was a dope combo

We really broke it down and like and we and we came to like a nice solution you really nailed a nice solution appreciate that so did you you know and you are doing a a might work yourself being a a a atypical uh masculine [ __ ] out of all

Of the boy spces and yet you are walking your talk you know you are being Unapologetic you’re being unafraid you are not ashamed of your Rel relationship to all types of other men whether they be gay whether they be uh hyper masculine alpha male that you are existing in your own authenticity

And that’s something that men need to like it’s okay to be like yourself and it’s okay to also be picked on for being who you are and matter of fact like that’s really the test of your masculinity it’s not whether you will conform to that bullying but your

Ability to maintain a middle finger to that [ __ ] yeah the car your [ __ ] cross like [ __ ] [ __ ] y’all hoes [ __ ] y’all I I really need my guys to understand I know even with social media it might appear that way but I promise you guys like look not everybody is meant to like

Each other but eventually especially you walk your own path you will find your crew a community that’s worth it that that that you really feel a part of that you that that camaraderie that we all search for I promise you man as long as you stay true to yourself and you don’t

Fall to that to you don’t fall to to to the Wayside with bullying I know it’s hard I know it’s easier said than done but you got to keep that resilience we have to got to got to got to tyus I got a feeling it’s it’s just a matter of time

Before um tyus TV oh Lord manifestes warlock TV manifest oh I’m really who knows we’ll see we will well I want to thank you for being here uh this was absolutely amazing and um thank you for inviting me conscious of course it was awesome um

I’mma let you get out and get to the rest of your night all right you have a great evening you do the same all right that was that was tyer warlock you guys um epic show I actually uh got energy back from this show like you know this is good you

Know that it’s a good sparring and it’s a good vibe when you’re giving energy you know cuz commentating and all that [ __ ] and collaborations you know you give a lot of energy but to get it it’s like when you more energized after sex you know

That’s how you know it was a real some real reciprocal [ __ ] you know some real life happening here so um I have to agree with everybody this is definitely my best show of the year so far this is the type of [ __ ] that the platform is

Made out of this is the type of content that is really true to my heart and that I’m the most proud of I’m so glad to be you know excellent and all the other you styles of commentary and content that I provide baby but you know this is the

Ministry here so this was dope shout out to T shout out to y’all um thank y’all for being here I know that most of the conscious crew is popping [ __ ] it’s Saturday they out shop you know shopping and bootlegging [ __ ] and you know doing all that in the world child

Um connecting with they snaky LS and you know being in a word girl but uh replay gang gang shout out to y’all and um please thumbs up this video and share and tell a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend and uh I’ll see y’all later bye

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