All right good evening y’all Welcome to our special midweek live tonight we’re going to be having a conversation about Kingdom love we’re going to talk about Kingdom relationships we’re going to talk about love we’re going to talk about marriage we’re going to talk about family and this is going to be an
Amazing conversation with some of our leaders and partners of CWC so do me a favor go ahead and share this right now with somebody text someone share this Click Share click like comment drop some comments in the chat I want to see you light it up we’re really excited about
This conversation tonight and I want to make sure every single person that needs to hear these words of encouragement that going to come from some new couple season couples couples of all kinds of experiences backgrounds walks of life I want you to be encouraged tonight and make sure that someone else is
Encouraged so I’m encouraging you to share this stream right now with someone and again I want to welcome you to our midweek live this is Convergence Worship Center this is our midweek online it is Valentine’s Day and although Valentine’s is not necessarily a Biblical holiday
Any day is a good day to love somebody and so today we’re going to talk about love from a kingdom perspective I’m really excited about what’s about to take place and again I need you to share this share share share with someone because sharing is caring and I really
Believe that tonight’s conversation is going to encourage you and some shape form of fashion and so I want to introduce the amazing couples that we’ll have with us tonight we’re going to break tonight into two segments but just so you know what we got going on I want
To introduce these amazing couples I’m talking about our very own lead elders elders RI and Sonia Merritt we got Elders Daryl and Elder Yolanda Walker and we also have Joel a and apad Shephard and we got Jasmine and Lorenzo Walker that will be joining us tonight
So again it’s gonna be good get your popcorn get your chuder board get your little chocolate cover snacks or whatever you need get your girls get your friends tell them to turn tune in right now because it’s going to be amazing so without further Ado I’m going
To start with a word of prayer and then we’re going to get right into our conversation tonight on Kingdom love let us pray father we thank you for your goodness and your mercy thank you for giving us father the blueprint on how to love one another I pray that tonight’s
Conversation would be encouraging that it would be uplifting I pray now in the name of Jesus that there will be something that is said father that will start a fire in us that will teach us how not just to love you well but to love each other well I pray now in the
Name of Jesus for every couple every man every woman every wife and every husband that is with us tonight and every person that’s listening tonight father I pray that you would just unify us together God as we go into this conversation tonight on Kingdom love and we want you
To get the glory out of it and it’s in Jesus name we pray amen and amen all right y’all let’s go ahead and get into it our first couple in our first segment tonight is going to be with none other than Elders Rios and son Merit and
Joining us as well will be Joel and apad Shepherd y’all give it up for them as they come on the screen at this time good evening y’all good evening good evening good evening so glad to have you guys with us and thank you for being willing to sacrifice to make this happen
I really believe that there’s going to be something that you’re going to share from your heart and your experience that’s going to encourage someone tonight and so I encourage y’all to let your hair down you know and and speak from the heart because I believe that
Someone needs to hear what God is giving you and through your experience not just through marriage through family children you know your parents and all the good things and so I’m really excited to have you all with us and before we get into our conversation tonight I want you just
To introduce yourself so we’ll start with the merits introduce yourselves tell us how long you’ve been married and you know just give us a little tidbit about who you are all right all right we are riy maritt Elder riy Meritt uh from North Carolina yeah so we met in North
Carolina uh almost 44 years ago we met and been married for 43 years we have two children two daughters two adult daughters and two grandchildren uh we’ve been here in Madison Alabama for the last 22 years and we have been nothing but bless us we’re here we didn’t know
We were coming to Alabama but once we once we got here we found God’s blessing so we’re so grateful tonight to be here to join you guys and be a part of this we’re excited what’s going to happen as a result of all this so thank you all
Right Elder son you what you got I feel like you you got something you want to share tonight I will say you know they always say that you kind of lose track of time but it’s not been 43 years it’s been 42 years but I thank you sweetie I
You so much I mean it just made me feel just a little bit older just seeing that number inre but um riio and I met in college and um he used to um be such a gentleman when I first met him one of the things that I remember that became
One of the things that really drew me and got my attention was his gentleman like qualities and even back in the day you know he was just that so we met in college and had a lot of time spent in in the library studying so we said um
Having Walks from the library to my dorm to the cafeteria Etc so on but we have had um a great time just remembering those first beginnings and I think sometimes when you’ve been married as long as we have you need to take those walks Down Memory Lanes so that things
Don’t become still because they could and you know it’s just it’s you know you want love to stay fresh and so with that we try to kind of keep memories fresh and remember those first days and why we even became attracted to each other from the very beginning so yeah I love that
Well thank you so much so y’all these are the merits we’re excited to have them with us tonight and also joining us for our first segment is Joel and AP padra shepher so Joel and AP padra tell us something about you all how long have y’all been married and all the good
Things well uh I’m Joel this is my beautiful wife of cro we uh have been married since September 4th 2020 and um we met here in Huntsville Alabama but we are both from the same street in East Atlanta Georgia and we didn’t know each other until we got here and uh she’s
Been everything to me since I met her I I met her uh out hanging out with a friend and I bought her some wine that night and we uh just sat and talked and and and this been My Boo ever since I love that for you guys and you all have
A beautiful baby boy by the name of Zion tell us about Zion Zion is a breath of fresh air he is definitely our baby uh he looks just like the both of us so we can’t deny on even if we tried we couldn’t um he’s extremely talented
Smart anointed um very wise even though he’s three going on 33 um he’s very wise so he is a blessing to the both of us oh that’s exciting well thank you all for introducing yourselves so glad to have y’all with us tonight and I want to go ahead and get into our conversation
Y’all ready for some questions yes yes okay all right so I’m gonna start with the merits my first question for you all tonight is what is love to you when you think about love how would you define love what does love mean to you that is an interesting question I
When I think of love and the definition you know for those of us that are believers we think of the scriptures definition that God is love but I think of love being a spirit you know a lot of times we think of love being emotion we
Think of it being feelings we think of it being action I think it it includes all those things but the the the work tells us that that the fruit of the spirit is love and I believe that when we understand it that way it’s hard to Define honestly many times it’s it’s
Difficult to well it’s that feeling I get when I’m around someone or it’s that feeling I get when I have chocolate or that’s feeling that I get when I eat my favorite food but I think in very simplistic terms it is the spirit of God
But and and I even when people maybe not don’t understand it in those ways that it’s the spirit of God that it really is nevertheless the spirit that um that is in us and causes us to react and respond certain ways so and to add to that uh on
The action side of Love uh for us love has got to be patient it’s got to we we’ve got to learn we have learned how to be patient with each other um a lot of times things come up and you you you sometimes you have a tendency you want
To lose it but being patient being kind being honest with each other being not knowing exactly uh the end of everything but walking through things together that’s love regardless of what’s going on regardless of how big the mountain look or how big the the disagreement of the struggle is but walking through
Things together that’s staying together that’s love to me that is so good all right Joel and AP padra when you think about love what is love to you I smile every time I hear this question because in premarital counseling I had this really deep elaborate answer like love is like peach
Cobbler and fried chicken on a Saturday afternoon watching the sunset and things like that and to me that’s still true but love is a myriad of processes with with god with to show God’s uh thoughts and concern uh for us and his love for us it’s how he thinks about us and you
Know all of those things I’m still with the fried chicken and Peach cin but it’s it’s adding God’s um the grace and the patience and the the many different processes through life uh is how how I Define love for us that’s good what about you apad um love for me is is
Sacrifice um you’re you have you have to be willing to be sacrificial to your spouse you have to learn how to be selfless and not selfish um and really loving your spouse the way that you love God wholeheartedly unconditionally um and with honest and with being patient and being kind
Because I had to learn that um you have to that’s just a part of love if you’re patient and kind with God you you have to reflect the same love to your spouse that is so good I I think one of the things that you mentioned about love
Love is never void up with is never void of circus service or sacrifice love always includes both service and sacrifice love is sacrificial uh love is service love is honor it you know it embodies so many other things as Elder son is it’s action um it’s it’s
Submission it’s care it’s not just a feeling um it’s it’s not it’s it’s a mindset it’s a posture um so love embodies so many different things and as we are in a culture and a time where love has been um so misconstrued what would you say and
I’mma direct this question to the marit what would you say as one of the biggest myths about marriage I know we’re going to talk about all types of relationship parental relationships parental love children love all the things but as it relates to marriage you all are 42 years
In the game I’m talking about and we appla that that’s absolutely incredible but what would you say is one of the biggest myths about marriage well I would say one of the biggest myths would be that we been married 42 years uh that everything goes
As we intended all the time um no that’s not that’s not true uh you grow and you learn each other and you grow together uh as things come up you learn how to handle things together you learn how to uh you learn how to maneuver and how to
Come to an end come to the expected end just because length of does not mean anything what what what really counts is you two putting in the effort yes putting in the effort to make it work that’s good I think I’m kind of gonna go in a
Real dangerous kind of Zone to answer this but I think one of the myths to marriage is that it cures certain conditions of the heart and what I by that is I think when people maybe have um want they want to settle down and perhaps in
In our society with uh having a maybe a lot of different experiences with previous relationships I think a myth is that marriage will be the cure for loneliness it will be the cure for lust it will be the cure for desire it will be the cure for wandering hearts and
Minds it will bring in itself stability and it will be the answer and I think that sometimes um unfortunately people enter into relationship feeling like I need to settle down so I’m G to get married or I need to settle down or my you know I’m all over the place I have
Too many partners or too many relationships so I’m need to and thinking that saying I do will be a cure to that I really believe is a myth and I think that that is a reason why many times marriages get in trouble very quick because there hasn’t been resolve of
Those things prior to saying I do that is so good and I’m so glad you brought up that point because I agree with you that and I’ve never been married my parents at this point would have been married 52 years my father passed away in 2012 but the year that he passed away
They would have been married 40 years that November the year he passed away so had he still been here they would have been married 52 years so I had seen marriage up to that point most My Life um and I do agree with you excuse me in
The regard that marriage does not cure any pre-existing conditions it’s not an answer to singleness it’s not an answer to loneliness it’s not it doesn’t necessarily fulfill voids because there is a level of self-fulfillment and not in a selfish Soul realm type of way but there is a satisfaction that you have to
Have on your own because that person doesn’t necessarily complete you they should compliment you and I think sometimes a misnomer about marriage is thinking that oh you know I’m dating someone I’m going to get married and it’s going to cure my loneliness you could be sleeping next to someone in the
Bed and still be lonely you you could be in a in a 20 30 year marriage someone and feel like you’re walking it at it by yourself and so I’m so glad that you mentioned that it doesn’t NE is not a Cure All to singleness it’s not a Cure All to
Loneliness however it’s a partnership into the next level and next phase of your life and so for Joel and AP padra since you all are almost four years in the game My question is going to be a little bit different to you what do you what was one of the things that you
Thought marriage was that you found out marriage was it for you like going into you thought it was going to be one thing got in the thick of it it was like wait that ain’t what I thought it would be what would that be for you all oh you
Answer you go no you go you go you know for me um I thought marriage um I thought marriage was I think like you already said like my safety net I think marriage will I thought that marriage marage was um the the place that I could go do the work and marriage
Um or that the work would be easier that needed to be done I thought that marriage like I could be married like Elder son said and then I could process at a different pace and the that was the absolute that was furthest from the truth um because I I needed God even
Allowed me to not make her my bride until there were certain processes that were done in me and uh getting into the marriage I was like okay God I see why I had to address that before I I you know I took her hand I see why I had to deal
With certain things and um before I I made her my bride so that as we became one my hurt didn’t become her hurt you know I I thought that um and my pains and my my frustrations didn’t become hers because every bit about marriage is the unifying of of yourselves and each
Other and so I thought that I could go into safety without as a man first making sure that I was her safe place that I was a safe place for my wife versus trusting the marriage to be that for both of us I had to have my own
Thing to bring to the table especially when it came to protection that’s that’s very good okay so I have one more question for you all and then I’ll give you a we’ll come back uh toward the end and I’ll give you all an opportunity to share um toward the
End another question that I have for you all tonight is what are some pillars um that help to keep your relationship strong what are some of those pillars for you that are that they are necessary to help hold up your relationship and I’m not just even just talking about
Your marriage but the Friendship part of marriage because I think that that’s a part that we don’t always highlight we just highlight like the the Covenant part or just the being together part but I do believe that friendship and marriage does play a huge role to be a
Pillar in that and so I’ll give the uh the Shepherds an opportunity to answer that first and then I’ll let I’ll let the season experience uh marriage give us uh some wisdom as it relates to some pillars that help to keep your relationship strong um I can say for me prayer lot and
A prayer um I had to learn how to really intercede for my husband because coming in I thought I did but I didn’t know how and so one of the things that God had to remind me is yes you’re praying for the fruit but you’re not praying for the
Seeds and so I had to learn how to really pray for the seed in order for what I’m asking God for in my husband to produce so I had to learn how to water um by encouraging by you know giving him Grace on top of Grace not disqualifying
Him in his process of becoming but also understanding that one he’s a man two he’s human and also learning that he’s not like every guy that I’ve dated so with that with our friendship I had to learn how to be his friend he’s not a woman however I had to understand that
He’s not going to think like my friends would so for me a pillar is laughter from the beginning uh and even now you know when sometimes and you’ll see the memes on social media things like when the guy is hanging out and then uh dancing and chilling and the
Wife is looking at them sideways like next to every uh bothered wife is a happy husband not knowing what he did and and so that’s often times that’s me but also allows U me to you know gauge where my wife is and her heart is and I
Make sure that if I don’t do anything I make her laugh and that’s the gateway to opening conversations that’s the gateway to really you know seeing where she is because life is hard sometimes so we soften the blow with laughter and we cushion and comfort each other with
Laughter and we revive and keep our friendship growing because one of the pillars uh even from the first dat I think we talked for like six seven hours and we lost track of time just laughing and so that’s a pillar for our marriage that’s good all right Elders Rios and
Sonia what are some pillars for your marriage your friendship your relationship that keeps it strong okay I have to say Amen to the Shepherds I think um you know marriage is is such an intricate part of it’s such an intricate relationship that’s what I’m trying to say and you’ve got the business side
You’ve got to take care of business and bills and you have to discipline yourself with budgeting and you have to think about so many things that you don’t necessarily think about together when you are single and dating but with that I believe that when you get married
If you’re not careful things can become so serious mostly because there’s so many serious things to consider you know you got to make sure that you don’t you know o overspend and all those things and so I have to say Amen to the keep it keeps the fun in your relationship
Because it can be so easy to get so serious and it just becomes really difficult when everything is such a big deal so I think keeping keeping that Joy yes keeping the joy in your marriage which is evidenced by laughter and just being silly and goofy um and then I have
To Echo aasra I don’t know what in the world we would have done without prayer and God’s responses to all of those things you know our personality challenges you know Rios and I are very different very if you have noed I I you know he okay so in that
Little story I was trying to tell you he was the one that was real serious oh God I love him though listen I I I I follow him for 42 years but you know I I was really silly and I like to laugh and I was just you know you so serious and
So one of the pillars we had to learn how to it’s not that serious look please can you just crack a little a little bit but that has become something that I feel that has has kept us together that we could laugh and find find pleasure in
In those things as we pray together as well okay well I got a hot topic for the marriage what keeps what keeps the fire in your marriage I Hot Topic it’s hot it’s hot okay what keeps the fire is uh being flexible that that keeps the fire in our
M marriage uh as far as um there are a lot of things that you know that we’re torn all over and she likes certain things I like certain things um but us coming together and doing things that I like and doing things she and I go and
Do things that she like being flexible instead of just you know always it’s got to be my way someone someone mentioned it earlier it’s got to be my way or no way but being flexible is what keeps us you know coming together and loving each other keeping it hot yes I love that
Okay I got one last question um and and either of the couples can answer has there ever been a point in your marriage where you wanted to give up and what made you stay what what made you say we’re going to fight this thing through what was it so yes
Absolutely be like yes in the first four years okay do tell good God time for restoration I can just tell you that um I had to remember God’s promises I God had to remind me why he chose Joel for me I didn’t understand what God was doing because yes even even though I
Knew that he was my husband and God told me he didn’t show me the process so I had to learn how to really trust God in the good and the bad and the times where I’m like I’m about to call up my lawyer I’m out you can have it you find
Somebody El a it God had to literally slow me down and say no daughter he is the person for you and this is why but I had to learn how to one trust the process but then also trust God to process me through the process that’s good that’s good thank
You okay Maris do you want to share I will say early on I guess probably the first year or two of our marriage which was very difficult for us and maybe first three four four years maybe five I don’t know it was a long time I lost track um but I think we
Decided that we would not say the dword I remember us having some very heated um conversations let’s say that and we decided that we would not say the dword and so I I really believe that that was a decision that God honored and that we honored as well and so that even though
Through the years when things did weren’t going well or was very challenging we never really talked about the dword now there were conversations said well Lord I hope this works out and again yes I well I think we both have said that you know I hope this works out
At different stages of of our marriage but um I think I agree again with a paza you know um you know we old school so we have that old school word in us and you know what God has joined together let no man put us under it’s something that we
Stood on and so you know that wasn’t an option according to what God wanted for us and so because of that we fed it and then um just to close out quickly is those seeds the more you talk about you know I can’t I just can’t you know what
You’re not working out you know the more you feed that in your spirit and in the atmosphere the more difficult it’s going to be and so I think those are the things just refusing to feed that not you just can’t you just can’t because you you already are angry and upset and
Frustrated and you know you’re that close to just being finished you know done just done and so without so don’t feed those seeds it’s something that I believe that we we learned to do early so one thing that we all realize when two come together they’re two different personalities two separate individuals
That have lived their own life for I don’t know how many years uh 20 to 30 to 40 years have lived their own lives and now the two are trying to become one that’s is a little there’s a little friction there and and at first they got
To learn they’ve got to develop they’ve got to come to a point where they’re able to work around on that friction they’re able to be able to manage that and using that word manage that that friction so it’s it’s it’s it’s no no joke first few years until they they’ve
Learned how to manage it it’s going to be friction and but but God he he said with him all things are possible and we can we can we have overcome yes I love that y’all give it up for elders Rios and Elders Sonia they’re going to be coming
Back toward the end give it up for Joel and AP shepher y’all light up the chat light up the comment thank y’all so much y’all hang out backstage I’m going to bring you all back in just a moment I’m so excited about this conversation I’m
Learning so much and as a woman that is preparing for marriage believing God for marriage I always love having great conversations about marriage and again tonight is about Kingdom love is not the focus is not solely on marriage although I really do believe that it’s on the
Heart of the father for the church the bride to really put more emphasis on healthy marriages Kingdom marriages uh promoting marriages we live in an a in a society in a culture where uh love is really has really just been so perverted and the ideology of love has been so
Perverted that’s where you get that word Eros which is uh the the Greek word for uh ER erotic love and and and the way that love is being promoted through uh social media through content through programming is so perverted and we as the church we have a job and a
Responsibility to promote healthy love in the kingdom and not just with marriage but even relationships as it relates to how we do love in Friendship love in Brotherhood love in Sisterhood love as par parents love his children we have been commissioned to Love by God
Why because God is love one of our one of the most famous scriptures that we use as it relates to love comes from John 3:16 and that scripture says for God so loved the world God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son God
Gave something so precious so near and so dear to him to us to show us how much he loves us and he’s given us a blueprint and laid a foundation of how we should love one another and again we’re going to talk about all types of
Love Tonight I’m going to give you um just a few before we get into our next segment there are a few words that I want to highlight and we’ll talk about this a little bit more during our segment tonight but one of the words uh
For love uh is a word called filia filia love so we can put that up on the screen word filia which is friendship love it’s a it’s the love that relates to Friendship there’s another word for love and it’s a Greek word called filio and filio is spontaneous natural affection
And and just a natural affection for let’s say I love cupcakes you love cheesecake or you love y’all know I always talking about wings y’all think I just love wings so much I do but ailio I have I have a filio I’m a foodie I enjoy
Food I love food that’s a that’s a natural love a natural affection for love there’s another word for love and that word is Philadelphia and that is Brotherly Love shout out to the City of Brotherly Love Philadelphia but this is actually where the the word comes from it’s the Greek
Word Philadelphia and it is how we love one another it is how we love each other it is brotherly love it is an honorable love it is a genuine love it is a kind love it is a true love it’s nothing perverted about Brotherly Love Philadelphia and then of course the one
True word that we love to talk about in church and that’s agapy but what I want to highlight about the word agapy I know when we talk about agapy love we’re talking we we usually talk about the unconditional love of God but as I was studying this word in the Greek the word
Um Agape means love it means charity it means good willll and as I was studying this y’all I got to give y’all this definition that I read for agapy y’all you got to check this out it is so good it says agapy means to love the undeserving despite disappointment and
Rejection just hold that on the screen hold that right there Agape means to love the undeserving Des despite disappointment and rejection I believe that that’s the kind of love not only that God gave us but that’s the kind of love that his son gave us he saw through
Generations shed his blood on the cross for us because he loved us and not only because he loved us but because the father loved us and because they are one father son Holy Spirit the son loved us just as the father loved us and he gave
Him self up for us even though we didn’t deserve it even though we we would reject him even though we would disappoint him he gave himself up for us and don’t talk to me about loving me until you can talk about some agapy love because as a human being and a human
Doing there will be times in life I’m going to disappoint you your your mother’s going to disappoint Meo you your father’s going to disappoint you your husband’s going to disappoint you your boo thing is going to disappoint your best friend is going to disappoint you you’re going to go through rejection
In life some of us have testimonies and stories of how the Lord has had to help us overcome bouts of depression and rejection and abandonment and all of these different traumatic experiences but we were able to overcome because of the agapy love of God hallelujah I need
Y’all to put it in the in the chat right now put it in the comments God I thank you for your love thank you thank you for loving me in such a way that you would not only give yourself and your son for me but God that you would look beyond my
Undeserving disappointing ways you would look beyond the ways that I would reject you knowing good and well I hear you calling me and I’m doing my own thing but yeah you would still give something up for me so precious to you just for the sake of drawing me near to your
Heart y’all love is a big deal and God really requires for us to love I have a scripture I want to share with you before I bring our next set of couples on for our second segment and that is in John 1335 and this is the English Standard
Version all right John 13 verse 35 and Jesus is talking here and he says a new commandment I give to you that you love one another just as I have loved you you you are also to love one another by this all people will know that you are my
Disciples if you have love for one another in a culture where it’s such a cancel culture where we’re in a culture where people all it takes is for somebody to rub you the wrong way offense is is thrown that word is thrown around it’s easy to be offended and it’s
It’s hard excuse me to have conversations and and just to go to a person and we’ll talk more about the situation and Circumstance to our friends then we’ll actually talk to the person that we’re offended by and it is it causes a wedge between the love
That Jesus is saying hey we got to have love for each other it’s not just enough to love the people that you want to love but You’ got to have love for one another and this is how people will know that you belong to me it’s how you treat
One another through love how you love each other through your loaves how you love each other through your good how you love each other through your bad how you work through the hard times how you go through the trenches together this is how we will know and this is how the
World will know that you are my disciples by how you love I love this scripture right here if we could put this up first Peter 4 and3 Amplified version we’ll probably hear this again at some point tonight and it says above all have fervent and unfailing love for one
Another because love covers a multitude of sins I love this right here y’all lean in it says it it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others be hospitable to one another without complaint that’s what love does I love how the Amplified version really does amplify this particular scripture and it
Says fervent and unfailing love for one another it says have that kind of love for each other that’s SPO that’s Philadelphia that’s filia that’s a goe Hallelujah because love covers a multitude of sin and y’all know the scripture in First Corinthians 13 the whole thing is 13 verses that talks about
Love talks about love if I speak in tongues of men and of angels and have not love I am a noisy gong and a clanging symbol and if I have prophetic powers and understand all Mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all Faith so as to remove mountains but I have not
Love I am nothing if I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned but I have not love I gain nothing verse number four this is where we talk about what love is love is first patient y’all and kind love does not envy or boast it
Is not arrogant or rude it does not insist on its own way it is not irritable or resent ful it does not rejoice at wrongdoing we’re talking about Kingdom love you want to know how to love somebody else then follow these guidelines right here verse number six
It says it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things I love this y’all verse number eight love Love Never Ends love never ends as for prophecies they will pass away we love prophetic we in a prophetic
Culture right but prophecies they’ll Fade Away ask for tongues they’ll cease ask for knowledge it’ll pass away for we know in part and we prophesy in part but when the perfect comes the partial shall pass away and then he says when I was a child
I spoke as a child I thought like a child I reasoned like a child when I became a man I gave up childish ways which means there’s there’s got to be a maturity to how you handle yourself in love for we see in a mirror dimly but
Then face to face now I know in part then I should fully know even as I have been fully known here’s the thing y’all verse number 13 so now faith hope and love abide these three but the greatest of these is l o b e Hallelujah love love this particular passage in the
English Standard Version is titled the way of love and if you’re going to do Kingdom love if your love is at a limitation and you’ve been feeling like I’m I’m not even loving myself the way I need to love myself start being patient with yourself it says in verse number
Four love is patient and kind be kind to yourself yeah start there start with you and then you’re able to give out what you give to others and what you give unto God I pray that’s encourage you so far I’m really excited about this conversation tonight I’m ready to get
Into segment two if you’re ready I need you to drop in in the comments let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go all right for Segment two I’m going to bring on another pair of amazing Couples from our church and that is none other than Elders Daryl and Yolanda Walker y’all
Give it up for Elder Daryl and Elder Yanda Walker yay we’re so excited to have y’all with us tonight I can’t wait to what y’all have to share with us and then we also have another set of Walkers I don’t know how we did this this is
Amazing we have another set of Walkers that will be joining us tonight and that’s none other than Lorenzo and Jasmine Walker y’ give it up for Lorenzo and Jasmine Walker tonight y’all thank you so much for joining us during our discussion on Kingdom love and I want to
Go ahead and get this thing kicked off all right so I’m gonna start with Jasmine and Lorenzo tell us a little bit about yourselves how long have y’all been married we’ve been it be four years this April all right we got two fouryear couples on here I love this for us all
Right now where y’all from exactly so tell us a little bit about how did Jasmine and Lorenzo meet okay so we’re from memph PG13 version yeah most definitely most definitely so we’re from Memphis Tennessee and um I was F I’m friends with his sister so I had been friends
With his sister for years she always talked about her brother how awesome he was but I was in a relationship he was in a marriage so I didn’t pay no attention to it I’m like okay whatever so I went through my little breakup with my um current relationship and he went
Through his divorce so she would always talk about this man I’m like that’s gonna be my man one day I was just joking though I was just joking um Lorenzo’s mom um if you don’t mind me Sharon no okay so she’s a in a bed she
Can’t move right now and I would go over there to take care of her this lady lived on the Street in front of my street um so I would jog over there to give her medicine when they couldn’t when his sister couldn’t make it or feed
Her and one particular day I went over there Lorenzo was leaving out and he’s like hey how are you I’m like oh I’m good and I went on his mom’s room and when he saw me turn that corner he came back to say mama you
Okay he know he coming back to see he saw trying to see somebody oh yeah yeah so that’s how we met at his mom’s house I was going over there to care for his mom oh wow that’s amazing all right so Elder Daryl Elder Yanda how long have
Y’all been married I know your backstory but we have people that don’t that that may not know your story tell us how long you’ve been married how long y’all met now Elder Daryl I’mma take you now give us give us the fair version because I know y’all got two different versions
Yes oh I know it the truth and then her version so first uh first of all we’ve been married 20 years it will be 20 years in November um didn’t introduce ourselves we are darl and Yolanda Walker I’m from South Carolina and my wife is from Mississippi and we met in the
Army um yeah I I I’ll you want to get this the first cut go ahead D okay we met in the Army uh one of my good friends at the time uh introduced me you got to you got to meet Mills you got to
Meet Mills so I met Mills and uh yeah I didn’t like her at first I was like Mills why what you why you introducing me to this me she straight out of Mississippi I’m like I don’t she ain’t my type so it wasn’t until so this is a
Sec another version of of of the truth here um it wasn’t until years later so we met in uh Fort C Oklahoma and then we met up again at uh uh Stuart Georgia and you know meals then and meals meals the previous meals and the meals at Fort
Stewart were two different meals so I’ll inject yes come on yes I’ll inject to say what my husband is saying is much the same as the walkers have shared about their story whenever God has time for you to meet someone it won’t happen until his time amen it doesn’t matter how close
You are how many people you know because we actually knew the same person who ultimately met us and so um it wasn’t until God’s timing that we started dating several years later and got married in 2004 okay now you said something there you talked about God’s timing I know
That there are some singles watching tonight there are some married couples there’s some people that may be on the verge um what would you say to them and I’m I’mma U direct this to uh my 20-year vets uh in marriage as it relates to the timing of God uh for someone that’s
Praying for marriage somebody that’s believing God for marriage they’re trying to get their mind ready whether it’s a a man preparing for a wife a wife preparing for a husband you know like you said you both said um that you previously met your spouses that you’re
Now married to but you weren’t in the place to really pursue do marriage at the time what would you say Elder Daryl and Elder Yanda to somebody that’s watching tonight and saying hey I have a desire for marriage I have a desire to be in a relationship and but I may not
Be ready what would how would you direct them in their preparation or their waiting season I would first say timing is is is almost a fallacy uh because the world will tell you oh about two years of dating that’s the right time who who’s says there’s no book that says hey two
Years is the right time there’s no there’s no uh uh there’s no light at the end of the tunnel that says you know what it’s time there’s there’s no it’s it’s such a fallacy you have to understand and uh know when when you’re growing towards each other that’s when
You’ll know uh that it’s time and and I’ll piggyback that to say stay in the oven your cake your cupcake your cornbread your cornbread dressing stay in until it’s time to come out because if you come out too soon you’re going to be gushy in the
Middle you won’t you know and so to that again to those singles who are out there continue to live before you know we started dating before we were reintroduced I should say you know it was just Jesus and Me Jesus was enough and once I realized that that I
Was enough for him he knew all about me he knew those secret places he knew where the bones were hidden I realized I didn’t have to have a Daryl or someone else beside me to make me whole Jesus is enough so again to those singles just stay in the oven continue to live
Continue to walk the walk that God has given you and when it’s time in due season he’ll send you your your mate and at the time we were started dating we weren’t looking for each other at all I mean w so one of the things uh I tell
Couples now or potential couples if you really want to find find your spouse stop looking yeah that’s so good now to Jasmine and Lorenzo I have a wild card question for you all I know you all are four years in the game but you all have a blended
Family and so I really want you all to speak to how do you manage building love uh building your marriage while trying to build the the foundation of these different pieces coming together because again um like toward the first segment and we were talking about sometimes you
Know we have these myths about marriage and you know the perfect the Perfection of marriage and the Bliss of it but when you get in the thick of it it’s like wait a minute this is way too real and I wasn’t prepared how did you all and I
Know it’s a work in progress right but how did you all find the groove to uh begin to build and take those building blocks of even h a blended family in marriage I’ll say just like you just said we get this picture because before I got into the marriage with him blended
Family was always shown as something that was so perfect like every I never really heard about people speaking about the downside of blended family and somebody asked me what was the hardest thing you’ve ever done and being a bonus mom is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done because you don’t really
Know how to navigate it yeah so for Lorenzo and I early on we have spoken I know the other um Elder Merit said they didn’t speak the dword we spoke or I spoke divorce un times because it was almost like fighting a battle that I felt
Like I’m I’m holding a a knife in my hand and I’m getting cut cut cut but I wouldn’t let go so with me saying that how we’ve been making it blend is letting it go if that makes any sense taking our hands completely off trying not to mesh everything together because
We saw that the way we were trying to mesh it together it wouldn’t work for a spiritual war right it wasn’t even a worldly War it was a spiritual war so we had been on our knees praying we have still been showing love in the midst of So for anybody that may you
Know be in a relationship that will have a blended family let go and let God like for real for real yeah because uh what we face in our blended family situation which it started off like my wife heard it would be like it’s great everything
Is fine and dandy and it’s just you got to understand that those kids go to other houses and it depends on how those kids are being talked to and spoke to of the other house yeah is how they come to your house and react so what happened in our situation it became negative
Reactions no M no matter how much love how much uh advice how many gifts we did it didn’t matter because they were being fed something else wow so like she said we were trying to fight it physically we’re trying to mesh it together ourselves like we good parents why y
Acting like this why y’all saying this we we do we do great by y’all y’all y’all are blessed to have a situation like this but the kids are not receiving that because they’re living in the house 97% of the time when you only come here 3% so you gotta understand they’re being
Fed something different so like my wife said the only way for us to work because we would have been the dword for us to work was to take our hands off of the wheel yeah and once we did that and once we we once we start allowing the
Children to see that we here to stay we’re gonna love each other regardless even when y’all go out and be be married on your own we here to stay we’re here to raise you up and let you go we’re not here to keep you in the house till you
20 30 40 50 years old so once we got that understood that we gonna love on each other we’re gonna show how show you all how we’re going to love on each other and still love on y’all in the midst of the chaos and that’s when the
Kids like okay I can’t I can’t do that no more I can’t use that I can’t manipulate this no more because we got it understood so you have to have it understood in your house how you’re going to handle that situation and the way we handled it was took it off and
Like God you got to take care of this one yep I think what really aided in that too just hearing your story is being a unified front if there’s division between the two of you it it will be an open door for um divisiveness and if the children see y’all being
Divided in you know your stance and hey you know we’re going to co-parent this thing we’re going to co-parent this ship we’re going to rock the ship out together we’re not going to be at odds even if we’re at odds with each other H closed doors we’re not going to allow
Y’all to see us at odds with each other and I do believe that you two being a unified front in front of the diversity of your fi your F your family Dynamic really does Aid in creating that consistency to say okay so no we can’t manipulate no Mom and Dad gonna be
Consistent so now I gotta I gotta show up and do something different or they know when they come into the household they know how to March you know it’s like they know what to do this is what we do here I don’t know what you do
There but when you when you’re here with us this is how this is how this household operates and I think that that’s one thing just hearing you talk that I believe is something that really AIDS in being able to navigate that space of blended family and we don’t
Talk about that enough in the church because there are so many different blended family Dynamics in the Kingdom just because you know people come like you said uh divorce e she was in a relationship there are widows that get remarried and they have grown kids or small they’re taking care of
Grandchildren and and they say hey my grandkids gonna live with us and I don’t care what you say so it’s so many different dynamics that we don’t get to discuss so I appreciate your transparency and sharing about how to navigate um the blended family Dynamic so to Elder Daryl and Elder Yolanda you
Two are two totally different people right y’all are like the ying and yang we got got Carolina and Mississippi right so how do you all make it work I think sometimes and I heard it said that when it when it comes to um coming together as one it’s two different
Pieces being jointly fit together right so they’re not necessarily the same because if it’s the same it won’t necessarily fit so I think sometimes for us especially single people we think that I want somebody like me I want somebody to think like me pray like me
Work like I do but what if God send you somebody that is like polar opposite of you and you might be missing your blessing because they’re not like you they think different they might be on a different scope than you are and it it may be a Grace that they have to grow
Into or vice versa how did you all manage two totally different personalities coming together and say we gonna make this thing work I thought that was a loaded question you know I think uh one of of the main things we did was we made a commitment to be friends first right we
Made a commitment to be friends and we decided that we were going to stick it out and I I think we heard it said earlier that we would not use the dword now that doesn’t mean we haven’t thought about it we just didn’t allow it to
Manifest we didn’t allow it to come to the Forefront so without differences on how my mom taught me to make macaroni and cheese but how his mom taught him to make macaroni cheese something as that it created a whole argument in the house because macaroni and cheese should not
Be lasagna and it should not have fake cheese in it okay it’s got to be the real shredded don’t leave that government cheese just cuz you got it for free it’s not don’t put it up in my macaron and cheese so but again like we can joke
About it now because we’ve come through that process of just understanding that the end goal is Bak macaroni and cheese we had to set period we had to set aside the process of how we get there as long as you know the kids were fed we were
Fed as long as no one was hurt in the process we’re GNA have macaroni and cheese at dinner and watch this that macaroni and cheese recipe is a blended recipe now it really is y’all it is and it works right and it works I would say you have to get over
Yourself yeah can you lean into that elder darl man I go lean lean in right there I’m looking at the camera I’m looking at me I had to get over myself because it’s not so we have this thing in in the fraternity I me my mind I won’t go through all that but
That those things die when you when we say I do all I me my no it’s our it’s we it’s us right it’s it’s it’s all that so I had to get over myself so my way wasn’t always the way that’s so good so tell me this and this is for both couples
Tonight and then I’m going to bring all the couples on together we’re GNA have fun before we close out is marriage two halves that make a hole or is marriage two holes that make a bigger hole what is it so I I’ll start by saying one of the
Best books I read about marriage uh there’s a portion in the book that says marriage is not for us marriage is for the world to see what kingdom relationship is like come on Wow and that’s from The Seven Rings of marriage once I understood that it wasn’t about Yolanda it wasn’t about
Daryl but it was about the united front that we presented to the world it’s about us laying aside our individual personalities to come together as a whole he brings his 100 and I bring my 100 because if we leave 50 somewhere else who’s picking it up yeah so it’s
Bringing together our 100s to make a whole unit much the same as our ring and showing our children showing other divorcees showing the culture that we are married we’re a kingdom culture we’re Kingdom and we can do marriage the right way and have fun and to Simply ask
Your question it’s the whole bringing the whole because I think doing doing um bringing two holes together you put the processes in place for your seeds to uh to follow so you you keep improving upon the matter so I expect Drayton I expect Lauren to start here and move forward
You know we we’ve we’ve shown them how to to do all the things now execute yeah and and just before we move to the next I think we came from parents who decided to stay together his parents have been been married 55 years yes and my parents
Have been married 50 years and it wasn’t they’ll tell us it was not easy they didn’t just stay together because of the times they stayed together because they made a daily decision that’s good and in a in a culture and an era where you know people get married one day and it’s an
Analment before the year is over I think that again just this conversation to talk about Kingdom love Kingdom marriages is so important to really push this narrative in the church because it’s on the heart of the father just to reinstate uh the importance of the institution of marriage and not the
Perfection of marriage but the health the development of marriage the process of marage marriage and even sharing some of those you know those highs and those lows and so my question for you and both of you can answer and then I’ll bring all the couples together what would you
Say was one of the most difficult points if you could share transparence transparently rather uh one of the most difficult spots in your marriage that you had to navigate through and how did you get through it I’ll say for me the most difficult spot in our marriage was I came into
This thing I was always on defense so I came into this thing not looking at him as my teammate I always looked at him as if it’s a problem we against each other if it’s a problem you’re my enemy but I love you but you’re my enemy you know we
Were always I was always button heads button heads so I had to recognize like okay this is my teammate this is a person where we’re supposed to be navigating any issue any negativity together not us coming and even if we have two different viewpoints we can still come together and agree to
Disagree so that was my big thing within our marriage mine was getting out of my own way like uh El Daryl was saying you have to when you say I do you saying I do to your spouse and you becoming one so you can’t become one still being you
You have to be it’s like that macaroni and cheese y’all had to find a way to together yeah so like she was saying we were bumping is because she was in her own way I was in my own way because we want to do it our way yeah regardless of
What you think and how you want to do it we’re going to do it this I’m gonna do it we’re gonna do it this way so get out of your own way and getting out of your own way is also letting go of your past and you can’t bring all your luggage
From your past relationships in with you you can’t carry all that baggage you cannot bring that into some into something new yeah you have to leave it behind and being able to leave it behind is going back to what you said pastor and the elders as well when you’re
Single love on you get to know you get to know what you’re ready for because a lot of people say well I can say a lot of people a lot of women say I want to be married and they not understanding that marriage is not just a ring and a
Dress yeah and I get to walk down the aisle and look pretty yeah that marriage comes with a whole lot of weight oh yeah and be ready to carry that weight and those right in this day and time like you just stated can’t carry that weight
So they really know and get up out of there I’m gone and you GNA jump into another marriage you’re going be gone again and another marriage you’re gonna be gone again you have to be ready to get out of your own way and leave your baggage from the past in the past and
You love on each other love on yourself then you love on someone else and that 100 being 100 one 100 and two 100 I mean 100 and 100 brings 200 yeah 200 is better than 100 I’m telling you I love that can I say something really quick cuz he said that like cuz
It’s almost like when we said I do like a button was activated for the enemy to just be like oh yeah I’m going to mess with them I’m going to play all in their face so like even for those that are looking for marriage and that are like
Oh I’m my I’m a bride and waiting just be very spiritually LED weed out the noise even in you being single and waiting don’t listen to girl you think he the one girl no weed all that out so you can clearly hear also when you’re praying to God be very
And I can’t say this oh specific yeah look be very specific in every single detail that you’re looking for in the spouse because you’re gonna okay prime example you can say I want my wife or my husband to make this type of money I
Want them to look this way and so so so so but you forgot to say I want my wife and my husband to be able to pray I want my wife to be communicate communicate I want my wife to be able to balance finances or deal with Blended situation
Or be able to who want want children some people getting married to people who don’t even want kids and not even having a discussion to after the fact so be very specific in what you’re praying to God about when when requiring requir Desiring to have a spouse I want my
Husband be able to apologize W it took Lorenzo I say I’m sorry so I want to go ahead this has been amazing I mean I it’s so much I feel like we may have to do a part two to this but I want to bring all the
Couples on tonight because I have some Hot Topic questions that I want to give you guys we’re going to fire off really quickly we’ll pray I’ll let you all give a word of encouragement because we’ll I want to talk about too um how important not only is friendship in marriage but
How do you handle friendships outside of your marriage because I think that that’s something that we don’t talk about because some people say hey I’m your only friend you don’t need no friend you don’t need no best friend you don’t need no male friend you don’t need
No female friends but how do y’all handle um the Friendship part of marriage like how do y’all handle relationships out of outside of marriage so that’s one question anybody can answer that about friendship the second one that I want to um address tonight even as it relates to setting boundaries with
Family now we just stepped into a whole marriage Summit on this one um setting healthy boundaries with family and again for me as a single woman I’m a pastor I’m a leader and I I do counsel couples you know I have couples that I counsel we have amazing Elders that help with our
Counseling and making sure that couples that are in premarital counseling and I I do Aid in that as a covering and a pastor for those that marry couples in my church um and a lot of things that God gives me is through uh experience that I’ve gained and knowledge and
Insight I’ve gained from other couples by way and also by way of the Holy Spirit but one of the things that the Lord has even given me as it relates to um setting those boundaries I’ll never forget and this is just a personal testimony of mine I’ll never forget a
Very very close friend near dear near and dear friend uh girl of mine was having you know issues with her marriage and she would call me and talk to me about it all the time and I started getting so frustrated about it I was just like leave I was doing the I was
Doing the wrong thing I was giving ill advice because I was jumping on the bandwagon of frustration with her as opposed to operating in a level of wisdom and I I’ll never forget one time in prayer and I was praying about her marriage and the Holy Spirit convicted
Me and said one take your mouth off their marriage two she gonna stay with him so while you’re upset while you’re mad she’s going to stay and you’ll be upset about something that has nothing to do with you and and three um you owe her an apology because you have a
Limited view of what what that marriage is made up and so what I learned as a single woman and this is something that I will take into my marriage is that I’m not going to be sharing my woes in my marriage with a single
Woman and I I’m going I want to talk to my married women my married men you have to be very careful and I’m pretty sure my married couples can attest to this you have to be very careful of what you share about your marriage with people that are not married especially if
You’re not seeking counsel like a pastor or cover or Mentor that can give you some sound counsel don’t be bitting to your girlfriend about your husband don’t be venting about your homies to about your wife because what that does is open up a very dangerous door for the enemy
To come in and try to coarse tempt and all of those things so I want to release that I’ll digress and let any of you tap into that right there eler son I think I see you leaning in go ahead woman God I I’ll go I think um you
Know all of us seek outlet and it’s just human to feel like you need to vent and and so I think to expect things to be kept in is unrealistic but I do think that we have to be extremely wise and very Discerning who we share with I do
Feel that um the person that you share with needs to have a a healthy mindset regarding marriage and unity because if you start I agree with Pastor candy fully if even for a an individual that wants to share with another married friend you know don’t share with somebody that doesn’t have a healthy
Marriage or healthy mindset regarding marriage they may be married but not be healthy you know and and will encourage you to respond or to say things that would be very destructive to your your marriage I do feel that it’s important that we don’t expect I think padra May
Mentioned this earlier expect our spouse to be our everything you know our girlfriend for the ladies out our female friend you know our everything um so I I just feel that you know is healthy to have connection with the body of Christ you know sometimes that friend there is
A friend that sticks closer than a brother you know but be wise be very wise I don’t share things with somebody that’s gonna encourage me to to do stupid stuff and to and to divide me if my mind is already challenged I hope that makes sense oh yeah absolutely um I
Want to talk about like how do you build parameters around relationships and friendships because to your point eler Sonia we do need Community right I believe that we all need Community we need an outlet we need safe places that we can go and and places that will
Encourage us and turn us right back to our marriage or turn us to God and say okay well let’s pray about it together and seek the heart of the father concerning that issue or that concern that you have and like you said not encourage you to do stupid stuff you
Know um but we all need Community but how do you all how would you encourage a couple or it not just a married couple but maybe a budding couple maybe someone that’s dating and they’re looking to maybe take the next step in courtship and they’re interested in marriage
Whether they know they’re the ones for each other or not how can they begin to set those kind of healthy boundaries and relationships around uh what they’re trying to build so Pastor um for the boundaries for a single couple um singles I think you have to remember that you were you
Are a person you are a woman you are a man and then you’re also a couple and so the same boundaries that you would instill in your life as an individual you ought to double that boundary as a married couple for instance as a man Daryl has male needs he needs to have
Conversations with like-minded men needs to be able to communicate and get those things off his chest with like like like-minded men and the same goes for women then together we have couple friends that we bond with they have the same values and principles and they believe in Christ they believe that
Christ covers our couple and our Union covers us as a couple and our Union just as we do and so in that regard I think of it as a picture a framed picture and a mat so we’re the picture the mat is that first layer of covering that’s
Christ and that second boundary is our friends because if our friends aren’t praying for us we don’t necessarily need them to be inside that Clos Circle to be inside to be a part of the boundary now when it comes to people trying to infiltrate like little ants coming in and the enemy throwing
Darts and that’s always going to happen that comes from us continuously communicating that comes from us laying aside every weight that will easily beset us that comes from us being honest with one another about how we feel I don’t appreciate that you didn’t like my green beans
Tonight but it comes from us being open and honest with each other and making sure we understand that as a couple we can’t do the things that the world does when it comes to couples because we are the example unfortunately we didn’t start there but it it grow it grew into
That but thank God we we we got there yeah I I would add one more thing is uh discernment you you have to have some semblance of discernment if you you know which friends aren’t good for your relationship you know which friends are trying to get at your wife you know you
Know the ones you can’t you have to push those friends and those friends die bye yeah they’re gone who’s more important that friend that’s that’s that’s out for what you what you have or or or or your spouse or your girlfriend at the time yeah very good so tell me this y’all how
Important even as it relates to marriage and we know it’s to two becoming one and somebody made uh a point to this and I want to dig in this and then we’ll um add some words of encouragement for those that are watching and we’ll wrap up how important is individuality while
You’re learning to grow to be one um for us it’s it’s super important your own authentic identity you knowing who you are is one of the most keys to knowing what you’re going to bring into the marriage like you having a resolve with yourself with you know what makes
You you what makes you tick what you know you wouldn’t know your own b or you wouldn’t be able to build a boundary with somebody if you didn’t know what your own boundaries were so it is super important to have your own sense of identity and be resolved in that
Identity you have to become one with and accepting of who you are because if you’re still battling that then you’re doing nothing but giving your partner something to battle too you know it’s it’s almost a little unfair for somebody else to have to work through your your
Identity crisis you know and things like that so it’s super important to be come one with who God created you to be who God has designed you to be who who am I do I like what I look like in the morning and things like that those are
It’s super important for you to um become okay with that so that it’s not on top of the many things that you already go through in marriage it’s not something that you push off onto your partner or your partner has to De with on top of their own things as
Well all right individuality how important is in individuality while becoming one I think it’s very important because like I told my wife when I first met her what I didn’t want her to to do is lose who she is I want her to stay exactly how
She was when I met her and if you understand that when if you got your individuality self and she has her individuality self and you come together those are there are certain things that you recognize about your spouse that you can enhance so if it’s if my wife is
Stylish and she loves coffee and things of that nature I’m going to do what it takes to enhance anything that she likes and desires I’m going to pour into her individuality I’m not going to say you don’t need to be drinking coffee you don’t need to dress that way it’s it
It’s crazy how some of us men have attractive wives and we met them they were Gorge and they dressed nice and we thought they were so sexy then when we get them we want to dumb their clothing down I need you to wear that blah blah
No I want you to look banging like I when I first saw you cuz you mine your mama house and my that’s my wife when she walk up there so I’mma go find the clothes that I like to see my wife in I’mma buy the coffee she loves to drink
I’mma do whatever it takes to enhance her individuality and I think that’s being selfless instead of selfish because when become selfish you start stripping away who she is or who he is and when you strip that away they start daming their own light and then you be
Like why you don’t talk like that why you don’t do this don’t Morey you just stripped them away so pour into the individuality y’all pour into each other understand what each other’s desires and likes are and enhance it yeah I love that Pastor I’ll just add you know
Looking across the the platform I think Daryl and I are probably the couple that came in at a different time we were in our 30s we were well into our careers When we married and so given that we were high performers we both a type personalities and so you talk about
Differences we were very similar in that regard but we made a commitment to God first and then we made a commitment to to each other you know so I go on to say that in that regard it’s really important that we focus on who we are
One of the things that I had to make sure I didn’t do was Lose Myself lose my individuality lose the type of Personality he talked about meals because that’s who I was at work but at home I just wanted to be Yolanda meals was it’s just a profession
That’s who my soldiers knew that’s who the military knew at home I just wanted to be loved on I wanted him to care for me I wanted to be Yolanda I wanted to be Mrs Walker but I found myself having you know to juggle so many balls until I
Almost lost myself until he saw me much to Lorenzo’s point he saw me starting to step outside of who he met and he said you know he kind of put the told me to put the breaks on it and then I was able to come back in through the love and
Care of my spouse that’s good all right Elder Sonia Elder Rios uh how important is that individuality while growing as one 42 years in yes so we started uh Our dating and actually got married very young compared to most of you I think I was 23
Sony was 21 when we got married and we came from like I said earlier from different backgrounds different uh understandings even though we’re same race different almost different cultures we came from you know I came from sort of close to projects and she came from a
Little affluent uh but so she we both had our own individual uh uh drive and we had our own goals we had our uh when we got together though uh we came together um and it wasn’t it wasn’t easy first off but we learned and we grew together uh knowing and she knew
She had to let me be who I was and I had to let her be who she is uh we grew together knowing that both of us together we we made a good team and I still to this day we we’re a good team yeah to to add to that I think you
Know you all have such an advantage in this season of um coming together in relationship because as real said you know I met him when I was 19 and I didn’t know all that you all know I I didn’t know a lot you know what I mean
Like we weren’t in that time where knowledge was was great and and so abundant and there are so many things even the the revelation of the Lord has grown in these more recent years you know purpose and and and being knitted together and understand your individual
I never thought about that to be quite honest with you I never thought about that when I met Rios as he mentioned to you earlier you know I was into music he was into sports you know and so there’s there’s a a a big you know when you know
Anything about the Arts those are just two different sides you know the personalities are a little bit different so I don’t know that he always poured in into me the way um um Lorenzo is saying not in a bad way but I’m just saying I just think you all are just smarter you
Just have a a different sense of wisdom and and you know and so we made it we made it you know because of the grace of God we made it because the Lord helped us and because we had the core and it goes back to that prayer it goes back to
Those those th that Foundation you know Christ and we we had a decision we committed to it committed each other we had we had I always say this we had real love but to your point to your question about individuality I think in in more recent years I think we have become more
Um uh pliable to feeding into our individuality before I don’t think we thought about it honestly I just we were just living and loving and praying and and just you know going through professional life but yes I think to uh feed into each each other’s individuality is extremely important I
Think I think you get better but I think a lot of times we don’t because we don’t appreciate each other’s difference as a strength and an asset to our marriages you know if I can just look at real and say you know he’s so different than I am
His his in who he is as an individual is so different and value it like add value to and I understand that it adds value to us then we we won’t try to don’t down as Lorenzo to his point you know we won’t try to dim that you know he wants
To do ball I’m like okay let’s dool let’s go you know what I’m saying so I hope I hope that is makes any kind of sense but I think you all are some smart group people let me just tell you the revelation of of the Lord is
Apparent in the earth and I can hear it as as we just come together amen this has been so amazing I have gained so much tonight I’ve learned so much I myself have had an opportunity to glean from you all and I thank you so much for
Giving us a peak into your life your marriage um even being uh willing to share and being transparent about some of your experiences and your journey I really pray for those that are watching us tonight that this conversation has really um not just giving you just a
Look into the lives of those that are on tonight but even giving you a look into oh some of the nuts and bolts of marriage because I do think sometimes we have these ideas of what it can be what it should be what it would be and you
Just don’t know until the two individuals come together because you have four different marriages on today so you don’t want to think that you your marriage is going to be like Elder Rios and Elder Sonia because you and your spouse are going to do it a little bit
Different your desires are going to be different your goals are going to be different but I think embracing those differences is what’s going to be a great thing to have great building blocks for a great and a healthy marriage we really believe in in the Covenant of marriage at CWC we really
Believe in Healthy Families we believe in healthy relationships and not as not only as it relates to marriage but just healthy friendships How We Do Brotherhood How We Do Sisterhood how we do community How We Do friendship How We Do Covenant how we do community it
Really is important to us and so I’m so grateful that these amazing couples took an opportunity to share and encourage us tonight so I need y’all to drop it drop a big thank you in the chat for them tonight really quickly before we pray give and and release the audience
Tonight I want you all just to share one quick word of encouragement for anyone it could be for the single person it could be for the married couple whatever’s on your heart and I’m going to start with elder Daryl and Yolanda then I’ll go Jasmine Lorenzo Elder son
Rios and then jool and a padra as a matter of fact jool and a padra then Elder Rios and Elders son y’all let them close us out and then we’ll pray we’ll give and then we’ll be releasing y’all can enjoy your striple lster Towers tonight since it is Valentine’s Day all
Right so let’s go word of encouragement for those that are watching tonight as we’re talking about Kingdom love and we’re wrapping up this segment y’all go fire off now I’m gonna start off it’s not going to sound like it’s encouraging but you’ll but stay with me I don’t always like my wife
But I always love her knowing that and figuring that out took a long time but if you’re if you’re Waring right now uh with your spouse uh it’s it’s okay it’s all right the love is that that that stays there the love that is that is
Constant is is what matters and to the single women out there don’t fret God heard your prayers the first time much as the Bible says in Daniel the first time you prayed he heard you the first time you cried about it he heard you the
Last time you said Okay God is he the one he heard you he knows what you desire and just as he created you in your mother’s womb he knew you before you were you he knows the husband that you need that is so good all right Jasmine
Lorenzo hit us with it okay I’ll talk to the married women I’ll just say Don’t Lose Yourself when you get in your marriage how you got your husband continue that if you wore perfume wear your perfume if you wore lingerie while y’all were having sex out of wedlock
Keep wearing lingerie don’t stop doing the things that got him and also I don’t think we talk about it a lot as King in Kingdom marriage but make love I think when we get in marriage we forget about those intimacy times that we need to have with our husband so let’s make sure
That his needs are met too us as women we can find what he’s not doing right he hasn’t done all things on his honey to-do list but let’s make sure that we’re doing those things for him as well so for the married women don’t Lose Yourself keep yourself up stay prayerful
Pray for your husband lay hands on his pillow when he is in a shower uh say a secret prayer for him when he’s at work just yeah all of that good stuff well I say this to the married couples as well every married marage is different you cannot model your marriage
After anyone else’s marriage not your parents marriage not your friends not your your marriage is what you make it so whatever you pour into that marriage you can make your marriage you can make it hard you can make it easy you can make it exciting you can make it boring
So you pour into your marriage what you desire it to have have that communication with communicate yes when they say communication rules a nation that is not a lie me and my wife were Waring from noncommunicating yeah uh assuming that one is feeling this way or or you’re thinking this way or you
Whatever make your marriage your own and be spontaneous like I said my wife said be intimate be loving and understanding and forgiveness yeah that’s huge that was hard for me forgive me babe forgive me forgive me so all right Joel and theadra all right so my husband and I
We’re going to speak to the singles um for the single women take your time take your time there’s no rush whoever God has for you is for you um of course when you’re dating you’re just dating to to collect data you’re learning about the person so before you
Learn about anybody else know who you are first know your identity know what makes you happy know what makes you tick you know know that God is going to be your first love first before somebody else come in and you know say hey babe I love you but take your time there’s no
Rush yes marriage is a beautiful thing but doing it the right way is even better yeah to the single men um you’re worthy of love I know often times men aren’t taught uh the worth and the value of love and no matter what your past consists of again it doesn’t have to be
Like anybody else but you’re worthy no matter how long it takes because some men get get in relationships a little later on in life because we mature a little bit slower you know they say but it’s you are worthy of love like no matter what your past was no matter what
Yesterday looks like understand that love is value and and your marriage will be a reflection of God’s love for you so know that you are loved and worthy of it very good Elder Sonia and Elder Rios okay well I guess I I will speak to the married couples those that have been
Married for a little while where who may feel like the um fire is going out and I think Pastor KY asked us in the first segment how do you keep the fire going I just want to encourage those of you that may be at that point where things have
Gotten really difficult you may have said some really hard things to each other this forgiveness is is difficult I just want to encourage you to not stop talking you know one of the last things that I um believe I’ve been told that when some is getting ready to transition
And leave this earth that one of the first things that happened one of one of one of the last things that happened I should say is they sto talking they stop they can still hear but they stop talking they sto eating and I just want to encourage you don’t stop
Talking don’t let the enemy put the mute button you know I’ve heard many times people say you know we don’t argue well that’s because you don’t talk because if you talk you gonna have you have a a lot of opportunity to to have some word so don’t stop talking
Keep talking keep loving you can make it you can make it you can make it to that year seven you can make it to that year eight you can do it you can do it I know it might seem like you know it’s just so much um strife and and Discord so many
Arguments so many feelings so many words don’t give up and don’t stop talking but say the right thing Speak Life to to your marriage and Speak Life to your to your um spouse so I would like to end up with um a phrase that I heard Sunday when Dr
Minister Britney was uh teaching and preaching um it was we are this is to both the married and also the singles we are Kingdom and we need to act like we’re Kingdom we need to act like we’re Kingdom we need to show love to not only our spouses but to everybody else that
We come in contact with we need to care about our our spouses but everybody else we come come in contact with we need to do and be ourselves around not only our spouses but to everybody else we come in contact with we are Kingdom remember that that’s good I love that we are
Kingdom and this is our kingdom love segment for our midweek live thank you all so much it’s been such a full night such a full conversation and I really hope you’ll run it back if you are a married couple you know invite some other married couple to watch this with
You guys have a watch party take some notes talk have some dactic conversations around some of the things that were shared tonight because I really believe that there were nuggets that were shared through experience through trial through testimony that I really believe that will help fortify your marriage and for my singles you
Know I’m a single woman I ain’t G to be single long I told Elder LT today that this is my last single Valentine’s I promise y’all that and so I’mma enjoy it while I can because I do believe in marriage and I know that there is something that God has specifically for
Me and I’ve been very intentional to nurture my single season to nurture my individuality while I’m preparing to be I am a wife and waiting and so when he finds me he’s going to find me as prepared as I possibly can be um to go
Into the next level of our lives and so for our singles please be encouraged do not allow uh your single season to make you feel like it is a death sentence it is not nurture this time that you have figure out what you want to do with your
Credit you know go go ahead and get the house don’t wait till you get married to buy the house have something to offer there are things that you can do for you right now that I do believe that will help you set a standard for your life so
When God does allow that appointed time as the Walkers were talking about earlier the timing of God that it will be I mean it’ll feel like such a Divine Alignment and so do everything that you can to maximize the time that you have now but before you just try to jump into
Relationship dating and marriage let’s make sure that we’re good to each other that we are loving one another as we love ourselves as Jesus said it’s the greatest of The Commandments to love the Lord Our God with all of our heart with all of our mind with all of our soul not
Only that but to love one another as he has has loved us I want to say a prayer for you but before I do let’s go ahead and give and then I’ll close out with prayer and I’ll B you all Ado you can text CWC HSV to
77977 you should have had your gifts prepared already give something good give something give $14 all of us can get $14 tonight um give $14 um you can sew that into the general offering this is separate from your tithes your offer offering special sees building funds all
The things uh but we want you to partner with us in your giving and I really believe that the Lord is going to honor your seed and your willingness to partner with us all right so we got the giving you can uh scan the QR code uh
And partner with us and you’re giving $14 that’s not too much not gonna break the bank because some of y’all is getting some good old steak right now um but you can partner with us and giving $4 and we would we’re going to bless your seed again I just want to thank all
All of these amazing couples uh that have joined us for our kingdom love segment tonight you guys are absolutely incredible you are an inspiration to me and our church and I’m so so glad that you all are partners of CWC so let us pray father we thank you for your
Goodness and your mercy thank you for teaching us tonight not only just about Kingdom love Kingdom marriage but thank you for teaching us father how to do Kingdom together I pray father for these couples these families that are represented the Walkers uh the Walkers the Shepherds and the merits all of
Those that are watching online tonight those that may watch it two years from now three years from now 10 years from now two months from now father I pray that there is something that was said tonight father that would ignite their purpose ignite their Kingdom Purpose
That would ignite the fire of their love not just for each other but for you first and foremost father I thank you Lord for those that are watching tonight those singles God that we not be weary in wello father that we would learn to be Sanctified to be set upart to be holy
To reserve some things for marriage so that you can bless our Union bless our covenant I pray now in the name of Jesus that you would be glorified through our efforts father to communicate at another level to love at another level to uplift each other and to pour into each other
Father because this is how they will know that that we are your disciples by how we love and I ask now God that you would allow the fire of love to burn in us and God we pray that you get the glory out of how we love one another as
We love you as you have loved us and it’s in Jesus name we pray amen and amen thank you all again put me up on the screen real big thank you yes thank y’all so much I love you I pray you all have a good night peace show some
Kingdom love to somebody y’all have a great night bye
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