Welcome to this episode of Your Work Aunty podcast! Thank you all so much for listening. If this is your first time here, my name is Kalaida Marie Holmes, and I’m a human capital professional living just outside of the Washington, DC area. I started this podcast to share all the great
People, advice, and knowledge I have with all of you so that I can help all of us achieve our career goals, our life goals, and just overall life abundance. So again, thank you for listening. Welcome or welcome back. In this episode, we’ll be discussing networking. As I mentioned,
I live in the Washington DC area so networking is pretty much a local pastime. However, networking shouldn’t only be the concept of collecting business cards and adding people through QR codes to your various LinkedIn profiles and contacts. But it’s really about creating some
Level of relationship that is mutually beneficial. And it may not be mutually beneficial at the same time, but you also both serve some purpose in each other’s lives. In most conversations about networking, people really focus on networking externally. However, you should network everywhere. Everywhere you go, there is an opportunity to get to
Know other people. And the reason you get to know other people could be for looking for people to do things with that you like to do. So it may be around relationships or, you know, or activities, shopping, traveling, roller skating, camping, hockey, whatever it is, Comic Cons,
Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, you want to find people that you can relate to. It may be about networking to create career opportunities make business connections or find people to participate in your endeavors, such as my podcast. I network often and find people who would be great
To share relevant content with all of you who are listeners. So networking should have a purpose. It should be intentional, but it’s just not about collecting business cards or selling. It’s often about creating relationships and having a bond with someone,
And you may not talk to them all the time. It may just be an acquaintance, but, you know, really network authentically and not just for a personal outcome, but for a mutual benefit. So what is networking? Networking is a process of making connections and building relationships.
These networks are these connections that can provide you with advice and opportunities. Many people found jobs and internships and others just because they had a conversation, just because they made their desires known. So you can network to achieve your goals as well. So,
Again, networking is about making those connections. Networking can take place in a group. So that can be happy hours, speed dating, other kinds of speed networking events, conferences, or it can be in a 1 on 1 setting. You can see someone out and about and you can
Come up to them. I networked with someone named Kelly. I was once out just in Kingstown. If you’re in the Virginia area, it’s a shopping center. And she complimented something. And then I was, thank you. We started having a conversation, and we had a lot in common and
Found out that we worked in similar career fields around personal development and leadership. And so from those conversations, we were able to network and create a relationship. And so Kelly and I don’t hang out regularly, but every few months or so, we both reach out to
Each other and check in to see how we’re doing and whether or not we have opportunities for the other or just, you know, hey. How’s your day? How are you enjoying the weather? Whatever it is. Networking is used to expand your circles of acquaintance, find out about job opportunities,
Increase your awareness of news and trends, and fields, develop relationships with customers, vendors, and potential business partners, and exchange ideas or thoughts of people with common interests, professional, or hobbies. Whether good or bad, success in organizations relies on the
Power of your network and how well-established your brand is within it. In one of my roles, I didn’t achieve a higher rating because no one on my review panel knew me. At the time, I was very annoyed. I was like, I do good work and whatever and I do all these great
Things. But the thing about it is no one really knew what great work I was doing or how they could leverage me or the information that I had developed for my organization because I was not
Networking and I was not sharing with others. So you have to think bigger picture when it comes to networking. And like I said, whether good or bad, your network can definitely impact how well you do or how you are perceived in certain organizations. So as we discussed in the relationship episode,
Many people go to work thinking that they don’t need to have any relationships because they just want to go to work and come home. While I think you should protect yourself and make sure that you are in a safe environment and only share what is appropriate, relationships at work are very,
Very important. So how can you network? Right? So some of us can’t leave the house or some of us don’t even have the opportunity to go to certain people either travel and have the means or find
The means to do so to go to networking events. Or thankfully, we’re in the year 2024, and I can network virtually. So I can network virtually via Facebook. You can create a group or join groups that focus on areas that you’re interested in. You can also always join LinkedIn,
Various groups and platforms. You can also look for organizations such as SHRM, the Society For Human Resource Management, the National Society of Black Engineers, National Black MBA Association, the Society of Hispanic and Professional Engineers, Women in Engineering. And I name a lot of engineering societies because I went to an engineering college and
Those are near and dear to me. But there’s so many networks and organizations that can help you develop professionally and reach people that are in the same field that you are. There are also organizations like Forbes Black. I recently became a member of Forbes
Black. And in that organization, you connect with Black entrepreneurs and business leaders across the country in various fields that are sharing information and maybe good people that I can have in my network for whatever reason. 2024, we’re not stuck with geographic boundaries.
We’re in the information age and our geographic boundaries are all around the world. So I’m a big fan of networking via social media. I’ve met people via social media that I’ve never crossed paths with physically, but they’ve been in my life as a constant for a long,
Long time. I have some social media people that I met 20 years ago when I was in high school in some cases or even in college where I got the opportunity to just get to know them. And they got me through some re some times, you know, either providing professional information or
When I went through rough times. I have, a friend I met on Twitter several years ago. Her name’s Shay or Shayvonna. And I remember being very upset about something that happened to me at work. And
While I hadn’t even met her yet at this moment, I felt like she was the kind of person that I could call and talk through what was going on. And she gave me time out of her day just to listen
And really help me get through it. And while she didn’t work in the same field as me at all, she was still someone who was a part of my life because of the energy that she brought to it. And
So definitely always am looking for a way to give that back. Like I said, these relationships should be mutual, but at the time, I couldn’t give Shea anything but a good meal. But she gave me lots of positive advice and energy and continued to check on me while I worked through those challenges.
So the first step of networking is really knowing yourself and being confident that you have something to bring to the table. Many of us get shy in many situations or don’t wanna talk to others, especially when it comes to someone who is considered to be maybe
A celebrity or more popular or more well-known than yourself. We really start to feel like, oh, this person’s so special. But I always say this to people I mentor and, you know, and this sounds crazy, but I would say to them, even if Jesus worked here, you can
Send him an email. And the thing I want people to understand is that people are just people. Regardless of the money or figures or things associated with them, just reach out. I mean, the most that could happen is they may not respond or they could respond and be a jerk or they could
Respond and be awesome. But you don’t know which of those 3 outcomes you’re gonna get. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. But definitely know yourself, and be confident that you have something valuable to bring to the table. So also really understand your business or
Your why. We talk a lot in the corporate world about having that elevator pitch or that elevator speech where, you know, you can communicate what you’re trying to do or what you want or what you need in 20 seconds or less. Right? And some people will say 30 seconds,
90 seconds, whatever it is. You need a concise framework if you are connecting or trying to connect with someone who is generally very busy. Sometimes you could just bring people in. One of the feedback things I got was that I was very engaging. I knew how to bring people
In and was very personable with conversations, but I didn’t always have a why. And sometimes I really didn’t. Like, authentically, I just wanted to get to know someone. And I would say, hey. I just wanna get to know you. Why I wanna know you? Maybe there’ll be a
Reason later, but right now I just wanna know you because you seem kinda cool or you do something that sounds interesting. So again, be authentic, but be prepared to have that elevator speech if there is something that you do want out of that relationship.
If you lack confidence or happen to be experiencing some shyness, do some confidence boosting activities like mirror work. It seems very corny and stupid, but just talk to yourself in the mirror. Get over the fact that you look the way you look.
You sound the way you sound. I’m out here with a podcast and I don’t a 100% love my voice. And sometimes I listen and think, oh, you said like her so too much, but whatever. At the end of the day, I’m here. You all are listening. I’m providing great information. So I’m
Confident in that I’m delivering content you all either want or you might need. I don’t know. But I’m delivering that content for you all. So do those exercises, practice smiling, work on your eye contact. I, grew up in a town where we don’t really believe in a lot of eye
Contact, if that makes sense. Because sometimes if you made eye contact with someone that was an elder or someone who was technically above you, like, say, a parent child situation or even your teachers, sometimes it could be perceived as being disrespectful or thinking you’re the same.
And so while that wasn’t always always the reason and a 100% the case, I have to practice eye contact because it’s not something that I grew up doing very well. And there might be other reasons. Who knows? But it is something that I practice. Been in some embarrassing situations
Where my hands were too talk talking too much and I knocked things over, made a mess, made a scene. So I’ve learned how to talk with my hands a little bit closer to my body so that I’m not doing the dramatic movements and, you know, like I’m delivering an Alvin Ailey performance
And possibly knocking things over. And Wear shoes that you feel good in, that you’re not wobbling, they’re not hurting, Wear shoes that you feel good in, that you’re not wobbling, they’re not hurting your feet, that you could actually walk in. Wear clothes that you feel
Good in. Again, professionalism is often classism. So again, just dress appropriate for what the circumstance is and what others will be dressed like in that circumstance. Professionalism, again, whatever you believe that is for you and your organization, make sure you’re just appropriate and that you’re comfortable with that appearance. Like,
Don’t worry something that you don’t feel good in. If you’re in a situation where most of the things you have, you don’t feel good in from either some sort of change to your appearance or body style,
You know, do what you can to address those. And then just remember that at the end of the day, your clothes don’t define who you are as a person. Although I know societally, we do say that, but just know that if you bring your best self, your best self should be enough.
So wear comfortable shoes and clothing. We’ve already talked about that. And again, because many networking events are built around standing, so especially in DC, they don’t believe in people sitting down and being comfortable. So many restaurants do limit the numbers of chairs
Or they do those like tall tables so that people are more likely to move around. And so if you are a heel person, just know that you might regret it. So I’m not saying wear flats because I know some
Of you are anti flats and definitely not saying wear kitten heels. But what I am saying is wear some shoes that, you know, give you the height or the look you want, but you definitely aren’t gonna be suffering and ready to go home because you’ve been standing too long. The obvious second step
To networking is the actual action of putting yourself out there and being in a networking event, which includes joining organizations. I mentioned a few earlier, but the Chamber of Commerce is definitely something you should join if you’re a local business owner. Meetup groups.
Meetup.com has carried me through so many new moves and being new to cities. And I’ve met some amazing people that I still keep in contact with from many of those situations. So meetup.com, you can either make your own groups. There is a cost for that, or you can join. Again,
Facebook, great option, for me to join in groups. Almost anything I want to work on or am curious about, I guarantee you there is a Facebook group that already exists for it. For example, I was realizing that I needed to connect with more people that did podcasts, especially small
Podcasters, so that we can support each other, they can share lessons learned, we can share tool, tips, and advice. And so, lo and behold, I did a search for podcasts and immediately found 3 groups that were relevant to me as a Black person and as a woman. So again,
Put yourself out there. And then once you get in those things, be present. Say hello. Ask questions. Go to events. Volunteer for a committee. Like whatever it is to get you in the conversation with others so that you can network, I encourage you to do so.
At work, you can join affinity groups about things that you care about. So let’s say you’re a veteran or a veteran’s spouse, there’s most organizations have some sort of veterans or military affinity group for those that are either in the military, as a reservist or National Guard member,
A veteran, or you’re the family member or spouse of someone in the military or just someone who supports the military. You can join. There’s also affinity groups usually around ethnicity. And so there’ll be groups for Asian Americans, Black Americans. Some larger companies, you may even get breakdowns. And there may be specific
Groups if you’re Nigerian and if you’re Jamaican or if you’re Latin American versus Hispanic, which could be, you know, people from European countries and Latin America. So again, look into your organizations and look for the easy things to join. Also, at work, your colleagues,
They’re a group. You all work for the same people. You do the same thing. So you already have something in common. So that’s the easiest group to start with, to work through your shyness, work through your sharing and work on appropriateness. You can also get a fee a mentor or coach that will
Give you feedback on your networking style or capabilities. And like I said earlier, no one is too important that you cannot say hello to them. When I worked in private sector, many private sector organizations are flat. And when they say that, they mean that. So if you wanna have
A meeting with a partner, a director, you could. No one stopped you. It wasn’t frowned upon. It wasn’t seen as jumping rank. Like, definitely reach out. Now if you’re an organization that is more hierarchical and rank focused, like when I worked for the some military organizations,
You can still do it. The way to do it might be a little different. So maybe you can’t get directly on their calendar. Right? And maybe that’s not that’s frowned upon. But if you’re at the same event, the same picnic or the same training event or
You’re leading an event, take a little bit of extra time when you can get it to say hello, ask a question, compliment, whatever it is. Figure out how you can have a conversation with that person. And sometimes if the conversation is interesting enough, they’ll say, hey.
Get on my calendar. I’d love to talk to you more. So, again, always take those opportunities to network with people that you want to know. Again, networking should be a win win. It should be mutually beneficial and hopefully go beyond just an acquaintanceship.
So getting back to work, there’s opportunities all around you, many of which I mentioned. But during my first week at a new job, I make it my job in my first few weeks a month to meet people
As a part of my official duties. So yes, I’m doing stuff they ask me to do. I’m going to meetings, I’m getting assignments, but I’m also carving out a couple hours a week to make sure that I
Am meeting other people. And that’s everybody. It could be people that work for me. It could be people that I work for. It’s also people that have interesting titles. You know? Oh, you’re the director of modernization. What does that mean? What do you do?
What are you modernizing? What systems? You know, really getting to know that person. Oh, where are you from? You know, so I always make an intentional effort to get to know people as people and not just necessarily focus on the work. So a lot of the questions I talked about
Just now were work related, but I do ask things about like, where are you from? You know, do you have pets? I often ask, do you have pets now? Because I think asking people about family, relationships and children currently can be a little not as well perceived as it may have
Been maybe even 10, 15 years ago. So I try to go there if they go there. So if they start talking about their family and their kids, then I would talk about my dog. Which is my child. But definitely, you know, feel free to have those conversations and talk as humans, you know,
And ask them about their favorite TV shows. I remember I had a really great conversation, and now I have a running joke with a colleague because they do not watch horror movies or shows, and I love them. And so I was, like, telling her some some really crazy stuff that happened in
Some shows, and she was just like, oh my god, Kalaida. Like, I would never watch that. But that became our running joke about, like, oh, she saw this crazy thing, and she’s like, oh, you would watch that or something. Or I’d say, oh, I saw this little basic this basic show.
It’s not scary at all. You’d love that. So it’s just a way that we built, like, a nice little relationship around this actual dislike of hers that ended up being a like a mock. So even your commonality might be in something that is not a commonality. We both like TV.
We both like movies, but we like completely different genres. But we were still able to make a connection through that. So small talk, people often complain about. And it’s because most of us are weird when we do small talk. Like, oh, so how’s the weather or whatever else?
And we don’t really care. We don’t care how the weather is. We don’t mean it. So that’s why small talk is so annoying because you’re not approaching the conversation with something you genuinely want to know. If you genuinely wanna know what the weather is like, you know,
Like for example, Colorado was a dry cold. Right? So if they tell me it’s 20 degrees Fahrenheit, I’m thinking, is that the same as 20 degrees Fahrenheit in DC? Because we have humidity. You know, so and then I I actually do wanna know, like, well,
What does that feel like? Are you fully dressed? I remember in college, I went to school with a guy from Alaska. And in 20 degrees, he was shorts because he’s like, this 20 degrees is it is nothing compared to the negative weather that we would have in Alaska. So then we actually
Had real authentic weather conversations. But again, don’t ask something or start the conversation about something you literally don’t care about. And also in and in terms of don’t be weird, it’s just don’t talk about things that could be triggering or off putting.
You wanna be concise yet interesting and conversational. You wanna try not to go into long monologues. One of the greatest turnoffs is if someone asks you a question, then they answer the question themselves and then they just keep talking. So if you ask people questions,
Pause and give them time to answer. If they don’t answer, then maybe add something to it or see how you can get them engaged in the conversation or make sure they heard you. And if they don’t seem like they’re engaged, you can say, oh, I’m, you know, I’m sorry. I
Guess you’re busy right now, or I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I’ll go ahead and step away. And then they might say whatever is going on with them that was preventing them from engaging with you initially, which could have been anything. From them not hearing you, them being distracted, them
Not wanting to be at the networking event either. And that might be a a bond for you all. Like, I’ve been at events where someone has said, yeah, I really didn’t wanna be here,
But I just was like, I have to come. And I was like, oh, yeah. These can be and we we lamented a little bit about the idea of these events. But at the end of the day, we both had fun
And had a great conversation with each other. Practice psychological safety. We talked about that a lot again in the relationship episode, which I will link in the card above. But, again, don’t share anything that is super traumatic or that you don’t wanna hear again, unless that’s
What the event’s for. So if you are, are at an event for survivors of, say, domestic violence or, you know, free Palestinian events, whatever it is, and you guys, that’s what the point is, then yes, that is a safe space to have those kind of conversations. That is what people came for.
But if you are at an event that’s saving puppies and you start talking about something that can be very off putting, like the current elections or maybe even, you know, some trauma that you’ve gone through, that could definitely put some people off. There are some people that are
Definitely there’s safe spaces for that. They would love that kind of conversation. But many people would be a little bit put off and may not talk to you again or do everything they could to
Get away from you. So if you’re going through a rough time, and all of us go through rough times, telling someone you just met, it may not be the best person to do that with. It could be definitely very off putting, especially if they can’t relate. Again,
If you are at an event that is centered around the thing that you’re dealing with, go share that information, get it off your chest, find some people to relate to. And I really encourage you to do that. If you are going through a tough thing, find or create a support group
Of people who are open to having those kind of conversations. And that will be discreet and give you the psychological safety that you need and build up build you the community that you need. Recently, a colleague of mine, one of their loved ones went was in a really,
Really bad car accident, which resulted in some trauma, and some PTSD from it. And so I recommended that they look at Mothers Against Drunk Driving for that area because they do have support groups and hotlines and other things where this person can build a network of people who have
Already been through the same thing. And that’s important here. So again, I’m not saying don’t be yourself. I’m saying make sure you put yourself in a safe situation to be yourself and share information in a way that is helpful for both you and the people that you’re networking with.
If you’re in a professional setting, I would also really, really encourage that you avoid talking about any habits that are controversial. I get it. Marijuana’s legal in many, many states now and in the District of Columbia. However, there are still many people and organizations that will
View somebody who is a smoker negatively. So unless you’re in Colorado probably or you’re at a or Seattle or you’re at some kind of event around those things, I wouldn’t talk about that. Or getting drunk or any crazy or bad decisions you made, that may put a bad impression,
Especially in a professional setting. And here’s where I’ll say every setting is a professional setting if you’re professional. And what I mean by that is you never know when you’re gonna run across some person again that you’ve overshared with. And I think there’s many stories online of
People saying they ran into someone and they made fun of someone or they talked about the food at a restaurant and it turns out they were talking to the chef or they, you know, dissed somebody in the lobby or closed the elevator door and it turned out it was the person they
Were interviewing for. So again, be your authentic self, be your best self, but also be cautious that potentially anybody you run into or network with could turn out to be someone that you’re running again to running again professionally. So just be careful. Do your best to remember
Names. I am saying this as someone who struggles with names. I mean, I am it’s it’s like a pro it’s a really bad problem. And often, it’s because I do this thing where I think I might be wrong.
And so in my brain, it’s like, well, don’t say that name because it’s probably not the correct name. And sometimes I am correct. And sometimes I just say to people like, hey. I’m really bad with names. Is your name such and such? And they’ll correct me. And sometimes
What I thought the my first guess, it was what I didn’t say. But then they’ll say, oh, no. It’s actually Peter. And I’m like, oh, I I did think it was Peter. But in my brain, I was thinking it can’t be Peter. Peter is too simple of a name, Clotter. You made
This up. So I do my best to try to, like, write down names or immediately add people, I mean, on LinkedIn. Because sometimes I’ll remember the face, but not the name. But now that I can go through LinkedIn, look at the faces and profiles and and remember the
Name later when I need to reach out. I recently worked with a vendor. I did not remember her name. I remembered her. I remember her personality. I remember her energy. I remembered what she had to offer. But what I did not remember was her name. So I scrolled through my LinkedIn
For about 30 minutes until I got to the name and picture. And and I said, yes. That’s her and that’s the name. So thankfully, she still looked very similar from when I met her over 10 years ago, but that was something I had to do. So immediately write down names,
Save it on your phone, put little reminders if you need to. Many people in my phone are saved as how I met them. Even years later, especially if you’re dealing with common names like Jessica, Sarah, Karen, Britney’s, I have little brackets and it’s like, you know, here’s Sarah from Landmark.
Here’s Jessica from Twitter. Here’s, Mario from from work. Whatever it is, it it’s a good way for me to ensure that I am adequately remembering the people that, that I reach out to so I don’t embarrass myself or them. Don’t tell white lies to impress people also because that can
Definitely backfire. Because like I said earlier, any event could potentially become a professional event because the world is incredibly small. And so you don’t want that little white lie to pop up later and then now you have to keep living that, remembering that, or you’re just flat
Out exposed. So don’t lie and say, I mean, this comes down to even, like, if you’re networking, especially if you’re networking for relationships. Don’t start making up a whole story. I’m sure everyone this is fresh off the Reesa Teesa or Tisa Risa, whatever her name is. I did not watch it.
But if you are someone who is actively on, TikTok, I’m sure you’ve heard of who did I marry or who the the f did I marry, that whole series. But it was based on someone telling lots of lies
That came unfurled over time. So, again, be as honest as possible. Even little white lies can backfire and come back to you, so don’t do that. Avoid gossip about colleagues or people in the industry because the world is so incredibly small. It’s crazy to me. I don’t allow, Facebook to see
My contacts, but most of you do. And it’s so interesting to me, oftentimes when someone adds me to their phone, they will pop up in my people you may know because they allow Facebook to see their contacts. And then if I click them, their name or sometimes under them, it’ll say,
Oh, they also know these 4 or 5 other people that you know. And I’m often very surprised, like, how do these people even know each other? Like, I met them in completely different spaces, time. So how? But again, the world is extremely small. So avoid gossip with people you don’t know
About people because you never know how that might get back or who knows who. So business cards. Many of us love a good business card. I spend a lot of money in these really gorgeous foil business cards for my travel planning services. I rarely have ever give them
Out. So I have 500 gorgeous cards sitting on the dresser. So but you don’t need to do that. Now you can use a QR code that you can create, put it in your phone, and let people scan it from your
Phone. You can also order one of those digital cards where it stores all your information, kinda like a link tree to this card that people can scan or connect to their phone with NFC. You can also use a LinkedIn QR code as well so that you can share your information with people and
Not give them business cards that they will lose in a second. I try to keep business cards if I really am very much like I will get back in touch with this person. But eventually, something often happens if I don’t immediately save the number. I will spill something on it. I accidentally
Throw it away. Housekeeper could throw it away. It could just fall out of my purse. Use today’s technology in order to make that simpler for you, and don’t feel like you have to invest a lot of money in business cards, especially given the fact that most people will not keep up with them.
If you’re so, so introverted and shy that you’re not gonna make the first move, take a wingman. Wingmen are important in not only dating scenarios, but also just meeting people. You wanna take your favorite extrovert or your favorite outgoing, ambivert, and you want to have conversations with people and make introductions, say hello,
Just walk up. When I was in consulting, I often would be that extrovert or have people be that for me where they would just take me around rooms when I was new and introduce me to the people
That they knew to help me get the conversation started. And then we’d have a lot in common. I also tried to be that person for other new hires that were a little bit more shy so that they can get the conversations going. And oftentimes, you introduce someone else to
Another person and they find out that they also have people in common, sororities or fraternities in common. There are so many things that people we share, as commonalities, so it’s really easy to get the conversation going once it started. If you don’t have a favorite extrovert,
You’re still feeling kinda shy, make it light if just saying hello seems awkward. Start with a genuine question and a smile. Hey. Do you know what song this is? Do you know what artist this is? Or, does this sound like this other song to you? And the person’s an audiophile,
I think that’s the correct term, they’ll definitely be all about, like, oh, yeah. That’s Usher or or no. This is the remake. Originally, Tracy Chapman wrote did that song. So, again, make it light. If you’re a smoker, you can say, do you have light?
Do you have a favorite dish here? Have you never been to the restaurant before? Or have you eaten here before? Then they’ll say yes or no or, oh, I’ve thought about it or, oh, no. My friend recommended this. I’ve been here just once. Those are all
Great questions to start a conversation. And if the person doesn’t wanna talk, they’ll answer quickly and turn away. If they do wanna talk, they’ll talk. And sometimes because they answer and quickly turn away, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk.
It just means they might also be awkward. So you can give it another try, you know, if you don’t want to be defeated. And then if it’s still very clear that they’re very curt and don’t want to be
Have anything to do with you, then let it go and find another person to talk to. It’s all good. I talk about preparation all the time in so many of my podcast episodes, but I think being prepared will also help you if you’re not comfortable talking to people and be more confident.
Earlier, we talked about the elevator pitch. That definitely is something you wanna prepare if you are presenting a business idea or pitch or if you just want something quick to say about yourself. Like, hi. My name is Kalaida. I live in the Alexandria, Virginia area.
I’ve been working here for almost 12 years. And prior to that, I’ve lived in, you know, Michigan, Illinois, Texas, North Carolina, and I’m a native of South Carolina. I have a dog. We go to the dog park often. Just a quick introduction and something about myself.
You know, I talked about where I was from, where I went. And then so some people will say, oh, you lived in Illinois. Whereabouts? And then I’ll say, oh, Chicago. Oh, you lived in Texas. Whereabouts? Oh, Texarkana. Texarkana. And then the conversation will go from there.
Just really think about something that you can say that’s short and sweet and to the point. And that’s true. Prepare questions you would like to ask people that you meet. I’ve named, you know, gave you a few examples above, but make a list. Some of us are excellent planners and we
Feel more confident when we’re prepared. So treat it like a job project, you know. Go in prepared. So also think about what you want to share and what you’re comfortable with sharing. Do you have any childhood stories or tales that relate to your business idea or project? You know,
Practice conciseness in storytelling. I’m the person that likes to tell very concise stories to the point that they may sometimes be too concise. And I find it really hard when someone is telling a very long winded story with too many parts and too many people and too many details. It feels
Like those tests that you had in middle school are those where they give you a giant paragraph of content, and then at the end, you had to answer one question that really only involves, like,
1 or 2 sentences out of the 20. That’s how those stories feel. So don’t be that person that people lose interest and they’re literally just thinking that, oh my God, when will this be over? Also, try not to talk about yourself in a way that is too, I guess, arrogant or off putting.
Like, it’s good to feel confident and know that you’re great. But, yeah, I I there’s more I could say about that. But I think you all know there’s, like, a definitely a line of when you’re like, hey. I do this and I’m good at this. And then it becomes, oh,
I’ve gotten recognized for this and this person gave me this compliment and this person told me this and then I won this award and I won that. It gets to be a lot. Practice some level of discretion and rolling things out. You know, I will find those kind of conversations for
Me become so tedious and I’m usually definitely waiting for that person to wrap up. And sometimes, I’ll just kind of excuse myself in the middle because they’re not looking to connect. They’re looking to promote themselves, but not even in a way that’s mutually beneficial or a way that’s,
Like, actually endearing or something that I wanna invest in because I don’t invest in arrogance. I invest in confidence. And this goes without saying, if you want to network, you can’t stay silent. Don’t stay silent. And if you are with that conversation hog
Like the one I just gave an example of, please excuse yourself and find someone else that you can connect with. And you are also uncomfortable. So if you are talking to that person who does not, you know, read the room and is talking about something upsetting or bothers them,
You could change the subject politely or not so politely. Again, this is about you as well know, do you mind if we change the subject? Or you can just say, you know, hey. I’m gonna go, do this other thing or I’m gonna go talk to this person I’ve been meaning to talk
To all night. But it was good talking to you or nice meeting you or whatever you’d like to say. But it’s okay for you to dismiss yourself from a conversation. You are not required to stay with
Anybody all night even if they decided that you’re there all night, buddy. You don’t have to be that. Again, do what works best for you. On LinkedIn or other networks, send an intentional email. Hi. I’m Kalaida, and I saw that you do are interested in x. I was interested in that
Too and wonder if you think what you think about x. The can I add you to my network email, I think that’s sort of default that people are sending out? It’s very much canned and is usually followed
By a sales pitch, so get straight to the point. I am often very frustrated at people who message me on LinkedIn as though they do want to just be like mutual acquaintances and maybe share
Information. And it’s like, hey, I want to add you to my network. I see you you said this post was great, whatever it was. But then immediately, oh, can I get, you know, get on your Calendly
Or add me to your Calendly so I could talk to you about this other thing? It’s like, well, you’re not gonna try to get to know me at all, or I can tell they didn’t even read my profile. Because what they’re offering me is something my organization absolutely can’t use or participate
In. That’s very frustrating, definitely inauthentic, and definitely makes me not wanna work with that person, whether they have a good product or not. Communicate authentically and be clear about your intentions. I know that’s something they tell you all not to do. Like, oh,
Try to get them in the the foot in the door first. But it could be very off putting and definitely ruin your chances by people that are not easily sold or don’t like those kind of engagements. Once
You email someone or you reach out, follow-up in a few days or a week to keep the conversation going even if you meet them in person if you want more of a relationship. Send the occasional check-in message. You don’t have to have 2 to 3 hour phone calls, just an occasional text or
Message or phone or or an actual phone call to say, hey. You know, was wondering about this. How are you doing? Just wanted to check-in. I have some people that I, you know, met, like I said, through networking. Some of us, we talk regularly. Like, we talk couple times a week.
Some people, we talk couple times a month. Some people I talk to couple of times a year. But we still have a relationship. We keep in touch. And I know if I do need something or if they need something from me, whether it’s just a conversation or an actual tangible service
Or product, I’m available to provide that. So when we reach the end of the episode, this is networking 101. I encourage you all to get out there. The weather’s about to change in most parts of the country. And so really start being intentional about where you’re going to
Go to network and meet people going forward. Be intentional whether that’s going to the gym and joining a class and maybe talking to a few people after the class and asking to exchange numbers, whether that’s finding a sewing class because you’ve never learned how to sew,
Whether that’s taking classes at the skating rink, whether it’s going to a conference, another event, whether that’s joining a Facebook group. Again, the world is big. You the boundaries don’t exist. And so anyone you wanna network to anywhere, you have access to. So get out there and
Be awesome. Thank you all again for listening. And remember to comment, like, subscribe, and follow me here and check me out on my other platforms. I am your work auntie on all platforms, including TikTok, X, which is just Twitter, Instagram and threads.
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