I think I took a [ __ ] in my neighbor’s uh [Laughter] lawn I love you mad dear and I need you badly dear why did you leave me here without your Love oh I’m Hurting cry and I tell youing my [ __ ] you know how to use a mic right oh damn actually she got nothing to say that’s cool do I know how to use a mic yeah what was she saying to you before um don’t lie to me either dude no Actually I I’ll I’ll tell you earnestly what did she put me in her story for January 11th she put me on her story for something is that when we shot it I hope so actually no I hope not man I hope it was something else I me too you probably
Hit her with straight up dick piics after that I did not do that that’s absolutely not what I did I was playing I was I was really clutching right there that was my flu game I mean you were dude you were emotionally invested in that it really would have been nice you
Were would have been nice to walk out of there with a beautiful I was upset when you lost man no do you remember how that went down yeah you were you were about to win and then they saw like my look like how I look and they’re like if if this kid
Doesn’t win like he might he might shoot this place up I think the lady who owns the coffee shop was like no no no I’m begging you he needs to win I’m about to lose everything if this guy doesn’t win yeah cuz they literally they changed it dude you were about to win
Y there was some sort of delay I uh I yeah they were getting the call from New York yeah by the way we’re talking about everything comedy yeah the infamous everything comedy comedians on a date getting drinks yeah I should put that link in this episode so people can watch
It dude but I mean that was uh did you even know it was going to happen when we showed up I thought it was going to be a live show yeah I thought there was going to be an audience yeah exactly I thought there was going to be I figured they
Were just uh literally going to rip off like mentioned to you at the stand um where there was like a curtain up and we were going to be Bachelors 1 through3 have you done that I’ve never done that I really want to do that for real yeah you got like some stuff
Prepped uh no I’m really going to resort to my actual charm oh you just do improv I guess I’ve never done not like real improv [ __ ] you [ __ ] you yeah that was uh dude it was crazy man cuz when I showed up you remember when I took a
[ __ ] no I don’t really when did you take a [ __ ] that was like the first thing I said to you when I showed up I got a [ __ ] that was cool dude so I ended up having the balls to like go [ __ ] cuz the chick hadn’t showed up yet and dude so
I’m taking a huge she was the last one there yeah I was taking a huge [ __ ] bro and she was waiting to use the bathroom and that was dude that was our first like that was our first meet hello I’m Johnny it’s very nice to meet you
Literally we introduce each other I was like hello I’m John did you stink up the joint it was one of those bathrooms dude where it’s like you could have blown it up and like mhm it was properly ventilated but if it wasn’t yeah I don’t know if they would have followed through
With the show man would have been a haunted haunted toilet smelled like [ __ ] burnt hot dogs dude you know what I mean mhm you don’t seem like you eat like kale and stuff seem like it’s a lot of processed material going livestock dude you know
Yeah are you um do you take care of yourself you eat a lot of protein and such yeah for like a week and then for like another week I’ll eat like [ __ ] you know you know [ __ ] okay uh getting back I just started like seven times but
I’ve been getting back and do a hot dogs you [ __ ] with hot dogs dude I actually don’t like them at all really uh yeah no um which is a a big like issue in my family cuz you’re like a big baseball guy too right a huge baseball
Guy hot dog I hate a dirty water dog I think they’re I used to sell the mid city field for real yeah that was probably the best job I ever had how much you make decent money for a night as like a [ __ ] 18-year-old kid like
250 bucks oh [ __ ] not bad yeah bad was your [ __ ] sales pitch good uh yeah it was me I would yell I would do the hot dog like Bellow I would cry out hot dog and I’d be like come on guys and they usually got to kick it out and be like
All right fat fat boy L them in it was cute yeah and then they upgraded me to beer I actually got promoted damn to beers yeah did you feel like uh did you miss like selling hot dogs uh no actually I didn’t not at all I crushed
My hand in between the a girder and the hot dog crate once oh [ __ ] and I still have a scar yeah is there like a you just assigned a section yeah I was in 500s 500s uh it’s like the highest seat you can be oh so you’re selling them to
Poor people yeah yeah yeah and you know they don’t know the value of a dollar so they’re Mets games hoarding this [ __ ] yep oh broken fan base broke animals dude absolute [ __ ] Savages hated these people and then the Cyclones games is great too cuz that’s like Coney
Island trash uh buying hot do is that triple A that is not even it’s like single I think it’s single a short season they sell tickets to that yeah dude they’re like $4 they’re [ __ ] great [ __ ] you walk out of there with more [ __ ] than you paid for it’s
Excellent have you never been con Island no dude I’m uh I guess I’m a Red Sox fan dude I’ve only been to Fenway I don’t like baseball man oh sorry man I used to be in love with it I just I just it sucks now dude did you get injured yeah
Yeah it w for your bum yeah that sucks man yeah what uh did you I don’t know if it was my injury that made me like not like it I think it’s more so like um the way the sports like evolved over time the sport of baseball yeah right he
Used to be a big fat guy eating cigars and cheating on his wife yeah could show up once a week just alcoholics who were just roed up just hitting bombs and now it’s like you can’t even [ __ ] and then like how are you going to hit a 98
Mph slider dude yeah you’re right you’re exactly right just like [ __ ] this dude when you’re drunk Too remember when they started like uh they started Cannon guys for like uh drinking [ __ ] during the game this might have been like uh just Red Sox yeah okay who was it that uh someone was drinking it might have been Lester John Lester or something he was drinking no [ __ ] way
Yeah he was drinking The Dugout with like someone maybe Pap Bond or something he looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome for sure I feel like he feel like he probably needed it I mean they all do yeah what a crazy thing to say all baseball
Players have FAS yeah I mean they all do I mean yeah I don’t know I just feel like youed be more exciting man now it’s just like a bunch of [ __ ] dudes with tits just complaining about [ __ ] that up Jackie Robinson came in he just ruined
The game for the rest of us yeah be a classic man’s game dude I remember went to a I went to a a game at Fenway dude uh with my with my girlfriend at the time awesome and she never laughed at anything dude like you could say the
Funniest [ __ ] and she just like never laughed and it was so upsetting man and uh dude we’re sitting at Fenway we have the best seats and this dude was selling uh peut and he would throw the bags to you if you order that’s awesome yeah so
This guy winds up and launches one like two sections up and hits this girl in the face uh that was next to my girlfriend I’ve never seen my girlfriend laugh so hard left dude she laughed for like two innings straight awesome I was like that lady just got pegged in the
Face she got really hurt she’s like very she’s like visibly upset too I I once had a girl in my life who would not laugh at anything I said but really liked like people’s Misfortune yeah and I was like oh you’re evil you’re a Sinister woman so weird man you have
Dark designs yeah it’s true they just laugh at other people’s pain mhm I laugh in Glee when my brothers are lifted up really that’s more my that’s that’s what I find funny yeah you want you’re like a spirit animal to like a lot of people
You think am I a spirit animal for a lot of people yeah yeah that’s a thought I’ve had [ __ ] sick man thanks man my life is good my life is really awesome damn dude what’s your spirit animal John H probably bub dude the [ __ ] dude oh the you said bub the dog you
Said a bug oh it’s like all of them any bug think just my movie it’s just like bugs life animals bug yeah yeah it’s yeah that was a good [ __ ] movie dude it’s tough that’s that was the thesis I walked out there bugs life is no no life
For me I’m not trying to get squished yeah but that’s like a Brotherhood though sure just building [ __ ] ant farms and [ __ ] you know what I mean it was kind of an allegory for the military-industrial complex a little bit really yeah I don’t know thought it was
An allegory for like [ __ ] I thought yeah yeah you’re right see I was thinking that Hopper the grasshopper because he was like creating a imaginary War to get all the bugs to like unite against a common enemy which is the birth is that what the military complex
Is yeah I I thought that was a military comp that’s actually an allegory for [ __ ] for let’s get into it though dude what is that uh you watching like a lot of conspiracy [ __ ] I don’t really I kind of just come up with my own ideas yeah yeah I I think
I have a pretty give me like a crazy one that you’re thinking about right now a crazy conspiracy theory that I have um don’t like don’t sugarcoat it either sure um I think uh here’s one I’m thinking about you know have you heard you do you game War Zone fire good answer actually
Play fortnite like a baby girl yeah um but there’s this game hell divers out now okay uh and the whole concept is you’re like a a Space Marine I guess and there’s like like an ongoing war against like computers and there’s like bugs invading a planet and then like robots
Invading another planet yeah uh and there’s this whole like propaganda in the game of like you know you know go spill some spill some oil kill some [ __ ] robots like it’s World War II they invented this whole propaganda machine yeah and now uh people on Tik Tok are
Like this is how they this is how we create a colonialist country is you’re dehumanizing robots which are already not human and now how how easy is it going to be for you to go over there and kill Palestinian children in 10 years so I think that the I think that is that
Game was created as a way to make uh liberals look even worse wow because they’re creating a they’re trying to make us look like we care about fake video game bugs uh more than we care about people that’s deep man yeah that’s the kind of [ __ ]
Stuff I think about yeah and I haven’t had [ __ ] in about three weeks that’s not that long man is that a long time for you um it’s inversely related to the length of your hair okay so if you have a lot of hair um you can go years but if
I if you don’t have a lot than thanks for telling me that me seriously yeah you can get yeah you’re like a c gives me like it gives me some hope man yeah you’re good I don’t even remember what a [ __ ] looks like d how long’s the
Drought so long I can’t even remember dude damn ass yeah let’s good you really need I think if I saw a [ __ ] dude I think I would just come out of the Closet e e yeah I wouldn’t even know what to what to do man you know when you started watching porn were you ever like scared never oh me neither that’s the only thing that’s keeping me going dude is just spanking pornography yeah I I really hate oh man I needed to have this
Conversation with us I’ve been gooning it’s really [ __ ] bad actually gooning yeah don’t know about that no you seem like you were such like a an an internet rat no you’re definitely more cultured than I am 100 I love that’s not culture at all it’s the opposite it’s just brain
Rot really gooning is is like marathoning beating off just sort of like a steady jerking off x amount of times for x amount of days in a row so it’s like a marathon kind of or like a lifestyle you mean more of a lifestyle yeah the marathon ends exactly lifestyle
Is forever that is true well marathoning is is a lifestyle people run marathon there’s like different phases like a lot of training goes into it don’t you wish you could you could have just went to MIT and your hobby is running marathons I think if I wasn’t doing comedy I’d
Probably I think you you have to do that yeah I think if you didn’t do comedy just to stay alive like you’d have to do like uh what are those things called triathlons that’s like the only way to get [ __ ] now people are turned on by that you
Think or you think it’s just the only people that would attract so our two options are like petite chemical Engineers yeah Vietnamese immigrant um just these small petite bony women yeah just like Japanese women who speak broken English words but [ __ ] they smoke whole ass smoke yeah that’s awesome they smoke like marbor
Reds and [ __ ] that’s great yeah I need a I need a girl who um wears her dad’s uh military jacket and Korean one yeah yeah yeah oh D that’d be [ __ ] sick she it’s just the jacket too like nothing else that would be awesome yeah she just covered like dirt she has
No teeth she just like a you come home dude she just starts blind firing at the walls but you own like a drywall company yeah business is good life why you’re with her get you a girl with severe PTSD who’s going to blow holes in the drywall
In your apartment all your Revenue just from her dude you just pocket that she got like a rich family yep just write it off as a mental health expense or like a war crime yeah I just build the Korean government every time my girlfriend has an episode yeah I’ve been thinking about
That dude like if this gets bad this whole like spanking journey I mean it’s going pretty well man sometimes I sometimes I jerk off and I’m like dude this is way better than sex camping camping I’m not even kidding with you man that’s scary that’s a scary thought
I think it’s cuz like I don’t know man I just know like what’s good in the hood you know what I mean sure yeah you know the fastest way what’s under Main Street right yeah I do I do like the aspect of rolling over and going to
Sleep at 2:30 in the afternoon I’ve tried going to sleep without jerking off dude and I just can’t yeah feels like something’s missing I’m so [ __ ] proud of myself when I die really I feel like I I feel like I didn’t piss the bed I feel like
Incredible did you notice a change in your life at all feel like a big boy what’s that when I you feel like a big boy when you don’t jerk off when I don’t jerk off to go to bed yeah I feel like a [ __ ] grown adult holy [ __ ] I know
It’s incredible I feel like a psychopath dude to Just Jerk Off full of probably a nanom milligram of of semen at that point no like if I if I don’t jerk off dude I’m getting I’m getting hard like on the freeway you know what I mean holy [ __ ] yeah you’re a
Horny guy for sure yeah yeah especially like after the the gym or something you got all that like testosterone interesting I thought that was supposed to burn it off I thought that’s why you went to the gym no dude thought it was a sub rock hard [ __ ] yeah damn it all
Right you’re just surrounded by like uh tits you’re the mayor of Titty City for like an hour two hours and then you just have to like forget about all that [ __ ] titty city yeah that’s right I used to spank in the morning after the gym damn
Wow I just saw so much there I was like I can’t I don’t know if I really carry it that much with me I don’t really see a beautiful I see a beautiful woman I get angry more than anything I don’t really get turned on yet cuz I’m just
Like when will I be happy yeah well you’ve never I mean you’re from here right so you’ve never seen ugly women yeah never in my life wow I know it’s tough you’ve never seen you’ve never seen like a normal woman then you’ve only seen like New York trash I guess
Not I mean I yeah I grew up in like South Brooklyn so I saw like a lot of like like coffee girls like mental illness yeah yeah yeah yeah um or that’s like the kind of mental you can just disguise as being Italian or Puerto Rican yeah those are the cool that’s really
Cool those two nationalities you just get to be like I’m I’m this so I get to have you know the ESL excuse exact yeah yeah yeah we had kids like that who would scream penis and they would blame it on their language dude that’s so
Cool you put him in special ad for being Palestinian sorry buddy this kid this kid threw a baseball bat at my head once because I uh during practice I threw the ball over him and then uh he was like I’m sorry I’m sorry and they were like oh okay that’s
Fine he was from Egypt like we don’t have to kill this kid we don’t have to call the her dude I was crying laughing in my bed the other day dude cuz I was thinking about this kid Brennan who I used to be friends with and this kid was like dude this kid
Had tits and he just had like the funniest face he’s just like one of those kids you could like look at and [ __ ] laugh you know what I mean like I miss those kids man he tried out for baseball though in Middle School dude he showed up with a Walmart glove and the
Coach was hitting steamers for ground balls and dude he would just get [ __ ] he would block the ball with his knees and then he would just pick the ball up and he threw it so far like over the first basement’s head that it would it kept hitting like the [ __ ] door
Inside the gym you were playing indoors that’s great but the coach was like specifically he was like listen like don’t break anything you know what I mean and behind the first basement was like a wooden door and then like a set of bleacher mhm dude just breaking everything she’s crushing sh she
Crushing [ __ ] with like a straight face too did he like did he get into the Outfield is that what I hope happened he didn’t make the team like no way get out of [ __ ] cannon on I know dud I was like yo let’s keep them you know yeah
Really we got to harness that rage do you ever think about like your old friends would just start crying dude um start crying no I do get like a deep sadness mhm I really think I think all the people that was wasn’t good too cuz
I cuz they weren’t um I don’t know they weren’t they weren’t good enough for me quote unquote what what did they not have that you wanted I don’t know I don’t I don’t know money really I really yeah I had like a really nice friend group my freshman year of college and um
I guess I was just miserable and I was like it’s probably their fault cuz they’re not like cool enough yeah and then I went to art school and I’ve made like cool you went to art school for two years went scholly [ __ ] that’s funny as
[ __ ] D I know right I can see that too thanks did you wear like a skull cap uh no when I tell you I started doing that 3 weeks ago I was like oh no this looks right oh Jesus yeah I’m really I’m really going down a dark path hope my
Dad doesn’t want this wait so you went to oh [ __ ] yeah that’s what art school gu just got that Inked no I just got that I for some I think art school didn’t kick in until about six years later wow but I’m I’m now getting [ __ ] line art tattoos what what makes
Like what made you go to Art School dude um I really wanted to uh that was just a huge nerd and I really wanted to write for like television so I went to it’s like a it was a fine art school but it was most a film school yeah yeah wait
What does it have to do with art though film is an art yeah but if you wanted to be a writer for like comedy oh yeah um I for like well the it was like a general production major it was called visual media arts I going to Emerson College in
Boston which is a [ __ ] dump it’s my every podcast I’ve been on I’ve managed to bring this place up I [ __ ] hate it there really yeah some of the worst people in the world I’ve ever met just like like um are they just like entitled uh yeah pretentious a lot of people are
Uh not talented very clicky I got canceled for um for for unsavory humor on the set of a set of a production what’ you do I uh I was fixing a girl’s mic pack on her prier and then she was like can you fix this and I was like
Honey you got to get that dress out of the way and then she was like wow you sexually assaulted someone no no that’s exactly where people that’s exactly what people took it that’s exactly what happened legitimately and then I and they were like you can’t come back and I
Was like awesome yeah so I got kicked out of the film uh yeah I feel like that’s what happened like in your mind but in like in real life there was like a play going on and you just like you just ran out on the stage dude like slid
Like you were sliding into first bake and like ate a chick out that’s literally all I did all I did was there’s nothing wrong with that man all I did was say uh the RW in a tweet and then I just like full first base
Dove into a girl puss he got stuck head first dude do you have you ever thought about that sliding into like a woman never in my life really I think about sling in I think about like you know how when you slide into a base you tuck one leg under the
Other like strong oh yeah yeah yeah you don’t slide with both if was talk oh you head first I feel like I’m eating a girl out on a baseball slide it make more sense to lead with my face how would you get your head up there
Dude if you if you slid head like a girl girl okay so I pass home plate and then do like a pop on my knees like M bets yeah imagine a girl just like she’s super hot and she’s wearing like a dress or something imagining it right she’s
She’s at the park and you start sprinting towards her like if you’re going to slide under her I never do [Laughter] that if you’re going to get under there though dude you got to have a good slide I would just truck her really yeah I would just [ __ ] just knock the ball
Out of her hand okay like strip sack yeah yeah yeah you just you just toally forget why I was doing it just yell uh just throw a shoulder like yell ball security yeah sorry ass receiver I would never hurt a woman yeah I’m surprised you don’t have those thoughts man I don’t I
Don’t have a ton of violent thoughts towards women [Laughter] honestly well I was I wasn’t thinking about like a violent way I was thinking like an artistic way right like during a play or something yeah like like the play is going like super you know what
Play is it um maybe like mcbath or something oh yeah highy drama okay sure it’s like super intense everyone’s like emotionally invested yeah and then you come out of the backroom and you do the slide and eater out right everyone’s like what the [ __ ] yeah I go Alpha Sig never die there’s no
Fraternity called Alpha Sigma on anywhere on campus yeah I would um yeah I would not do that yeah yeah that’s but to see that would be that would be true art to me to me man it’s so cool that I am legitimately afraid of this conversation destroying my career really
I’m are you afraid get cancel I’m pretty much always afraid yeah I uh yeah oh you think that’s a Brooklyn thing dude I think it’s a Brooklyn I mean I mean Emerson definitely put the fear God in Me cuz I just really was [ __ ] and
Trying to like be funny wow dude that it instilled fear in you yeah dude yeah wow I have um yeah you just stopped drawing dicks stopped drawing yeah well my my comedy is very different because of it like I don’t say any of the cool stuff I
Say in my personal life on stage dude you got to stop being a man serious man you’re right you’re right I didn’t think of it like that I’m tired of this [ __ ] dude once I get to a certain point once I get a handshake from like I don’t know either Tim Dylan
Or Shane or somebody that’s all you need then I’ll start saying [ __ ] on on stage yeah I don’t know man that I don’t know what’s up what’s going on with like the um is there well I mean this might you cancelled there’s like clubs in Brooklyn
That will like like uh cancel people for things they say on stage and stuff yeah um I know I know TC is very much like that um tiny cupboard yeah I just I can name names I don’t know why people will figure it out um yeah I don’t know I
Never I’ve never really run into that problem I always seem like a really overzealous club owner trying to like police the uh like the vibe of their place um like tin C is like we don’t stand for that kind of humor but like all the people they’re getting are like
Dutch immigrants not or Dutch tourists we’re like yeah we want to see real American Comedy that’s when the funny Jewish guy calls the Holocaust [ __ ] yeah like that’s what they want and then they they isolate those kinds of people yeah that’s unfortunate man it makes me
Sad mhm I’m like moving uh I don’t have any edgy jokes or anything man you know I was going to say it’s not high art either I don’t know if you ever seen my comedy but it’s a lot of like farting and stuff so you can’t really take me
Down for that you did sophomore slump once and I remember you [ __ ] killing I don’t remember your stuff though oh really yeah you don’t remember doing it or you don’t remember killing no I’d have to think really hard to be honest with you I probably didn’t know anyone
There except for grant that was uh I think that might have been the first one in room 52 now you were doing really great and then I was I was angry because I had to go up after you my D watch one you think I have like edgy jokes or
Anything no man I think you’re cool yeah I think you’re great yeah but I think I’m like uh with everything going on I’m kind of like leaning little toward like homosexuality dude no she’s upsetting man like hard to flirt with women nowadays it is man I tried to flirt with a girl they
Literally sentenced me to 10 years in jail in terms of like and no in real life a police officer came and said that’s against the law you have to go to prison this was at Emerson this was at this was no this was in Manhattan this
Yeah I know this was on the Lowry side said excuse me man have a beautiful smile and he said that’s it buddy you’re going away for a long time holy [ __ ] man I know it’s [ __ ] Biden’s America dude I don’t even know anymore like how do you even get arrested out
Here you literally have to what do you have to do to get arrested you literally have to like behead someone and even then like you might get out on bail uh yeah do you ever do you go on Tik Tok ever no I had it for a few weeks yeah
You want to hear something dude I do so I get Tik Tok CU everyone’s like you have to get Tik Tok and I put up uh one of like my Infamous Clips which is about a chubby chick who I had sex with like on a boat in front of like a Chili’s and
Uh it’s a long story was the Chili’s in the lake where was the chili Chili’s by the water awesome yeah dude very cool legendary story dude yeah so that’s the first clip I put up and she happens to see it on Tik Tok and like I wake up in
The morning and I’m like looking at my phone and I have like 10 texts from her who I haven’t talked to this happened like four years ago mhm and she was like take down that clip right now wow yeah yeah but the weird thing was it’s like
That clip had been on Instagram for a long time she just hadn’t seen it oh wow she just saw on Tik Tok yeah did you follow you or she came across did it like blow up she just came across it I guess I think it’s because uh there’s
Like an option on Tik Tok that’ll like um it’ll just link you to people with like your the like your contacts like friends or just like your phone number like her phone number was in my phone so she still liked you enough to be like a a synced contact right yeah were you
Guys on good terms before that we I mean that just happened man we never talked to each other again but yeah we were on good terms until that happened and now she’s never going to talk to me again but what yeah what the [ __ ] did you drop
Her by name no okay I’m trying to like you know maybe if I see her again we can like mend I can you know run it back maybe go back to Chili’s or something where is this Chili’s it’s in Rhode Island you’d really have to take her to
Rhode Island to [ __ ] her on the the Chili’s boat that’s where she’s from oh okay all right so go for it yeah that sounds pretty easy yeah man then I just uh yeah I ended up deleting it man I don’t do anything you think it’s real
You think it’s like all humans or do you think it’s more like Chinese people I think it’s a like a lot it’s a lot of bots it’s a lot of bots I mean I I always fall into the Trap oh yeah what I was saying is like I
Watch like um General Hospital Clips or like they’ll basically just steal clips from cable television shows and then put them over like somebody running an ice cream scooper through a bucket of kinetic sand so it’s like satisfying Visual and then like low drama and then I’m just like just sucks you in just
Eating it like [ __ ] royal jelly just [ __ ] yeah do you know what that is that like sucks you in um what part of it exactly yeah um they always have a hook which always something like uh whatever uh you can’t arrest him just cuz he’s Chinese and then you’re like
I’m like and then they’ll they’ll start with that and then they’ll start the scene from the top and I’m like well how did we get here yeah but and then when I kind of get bored in the middle then I start looking at the guy playing Subway
Surfers and I’m like well what’s he up to and then I’ll check back in it’s literally just a per it’s almost beautiful yeah it’s like a Sonata of like uh dopamine hits yeah and then like at the end you’re just like wow I just accomplished nothing I just burned 45
Seconds and then I click on the guy’s [ __ ] page and I want to see what other clips from house there’s a l Order SVU clip that I really wanted to I really wanted to bring up which is uh it’s a it’s a woke liberal gets uh sexually assaulted and uh they find the
Guy and then she’s like I’m not pressing charges against Darnell and they’re like why and they’re like his people have been through enough oh my God she won’t prosecute her rapists because he’s black oh man and I’m like this got somebody in Witchita Kansas Furious so [ __ ] oh yeah that this liveaction
Documentary uh of people not Prosecuting black rapist yeah people are different out like down south dude you got that I’ve never I’ve never been but I know had people and worse I’ve had some people message me and it’s like I will say though the girls are G ready for war
Man they’re just different dude what does that mean what does that mean they’re ready for war dude I’ve had so many uh not so many but every every girl no no girls ever you know message me obviously but when they do they from down south and they immediately just
Send titpics without any dialogue thank you yeah and I’m like dude God is good man and I never I never answer I always get a nice young lady who will say something like please let’s go on a date and I’m like really yeah no
Thank you are you sure it’s a lady um I don’t know because they’re always on private so maybe not I don’t know what do you say then uh sometimes nothing sometimes I some I’ve been I’ve went on one Tik Tok date actually went pretty good I got scared and then I didn’t call
Her after two you went on one Tik Tok date oh you on TI Tok yeah are you famous dude uh not really okay I have I’m not going to look you differently I just didn’t know no I have a small i’ I have 20,000 followers it’s a lot of
Followers it’s decent it’s uh it’s it’s something so you’re kind of famous on Tik Tok then um I’m a what’s what’s smaller than micro Nano probably just my dick I don’t know you’re like my dick famous very good man I’m like I’m like John’s dick
Famous yeah yeah I’m a yeah I’m a very small you can message people on Tik Tok yeah you can DM people I com she just commented a bunch of my stuff and she dm’ me and I was like you’re so beautiful yeah that would be so sad
Though man to if you guys like fell in love just be like yeah we met on Tik Tok think you live with fck I would take anything at this point for real my buddy met his girlfriend of a year now on hinge and they’re wonderfully I will
[ __ ] I will take you anything yeah I was uh I was writing out how [ __ ] sad I was my way here yeah I was like I thought you had a girlfriend dude the girl who showed up after we did the everything comedy thing no no not you
Guys just friends not my girlfriend yeah we had our time but it’s uh it’s yeah what happened for a reason in a season be true dud what happened we did not belong neither of us were making each other happy interesting and your friends now uh we are friends now I’m
Really um believe me doesn’t come easy yeah but I’m I’m really trying to be the kind of guy to uh like be friends with someone if I like them and not let my like gay emotions get in the way yeah so like I [ __ ] love her how do I put
This aside just like I don’t know deal with it be a man just like always be around her tits yeah exactly then you get numb to them eventually cool and now she and now she’s got guys she’s got a crush on I just go okay cool cool cool
Cool cool cool it’s not me someone sent me a picture of uh my ex with with uh her new boyfriend I love when guys do that was it was it a friend of yours yeah friends are awesome oh yeah when we uh when we broke up I would always get
Messages from uh from some of the boys they’d be like you know your girl’s on uh on hinge right now right it’s like a week after you like thanks for that thank you why yeah why the [ __ ] would you tell me that I don’t know I kind of I don’t know this
Girl just like broke my heart two weeks ago she didn’t really break my heart we went on one date I was just really into her and then she was like I don’t want to ever go out with you again um and then my buddy know was like oh you know
He might be moving in with my she might be moving with my my friend and I was like that’s great didn’t want to [ __ ] think about her didn’t want to think about her at all can’t wait to see her again dude this is crazy cuz like a I
Don’t know a study just came out someone wrote an article that about something we’ve known like you and I have known for years which is like 70% of females uh bad start that’s a really bad start females like uh find men to be like replaceable like they replace men
Like immediately after breakup and like dude I’ve been I’ve been telling the boys this that makes me sad for 10 years now dude you know we all know a girl who uh would be like in a relationship and then like a week later has a new boyfriend you know like that’s old news
To me dude that’s not like it seems like nobody in a relationship [ __ ] cares about each other I feel like there’s cuz I see the way people like date each other I’m like oh you don’t care about each other at all yeah you just like hang out all the time and get dinner
Like cheat on each other you just like cheat on each other and you yell at each other you’re like yeah I don’t really you you be together 9 months you’re like I don’t know if I love her I’m like bro well you [ __ ] spend all your time
Together why do you not love her oh yeah just don’t date her at that point yeah well girls have access to so much [ __ ] dude that is true it’s just like a directory of dicks like you can true you can just pick and choose like whenever you want yeah whatever that doesn’t bother
Me at all that doesn’t bother me at all it’s pry think about think about having like a a book filled with tits dude and like you can just pick call him up yeah this is I hope this is Chicken Soup for the incel Soul right now I really hope
That some young men find some light in this conversation yeah for sure cuz it’s [ __ ] it’s hard to be a little guy you know someone got really mad at me once cuz I said it’s hard to be a young man like a woman did yeah yeah I was I was talking to I’m
Sorry what being Regal I just have something going thr I was talking to one of my many female friends and uh she said something like I don’t remember what I was talking about she’s like man it’s kind of hard to be a man sometimes I was like
Yeah you know it’s I mean it’s hard to be anything I guess and then I retold that story to somebody I just like yeah this friend of mine was very empathetic you know she was like I acknowledged that I was having like male related problems and then she was like oh so
She’s like a pck me in an idiot and I’m like oh you have like no empathy at all you don’t think it’s ever difficult there’s anything particularly difficult of being a man ever like is it probably easier on the whole yeah I guess like like pres better odds being president
But like so cool being a dude though yeah even if you’re I was getting too smart I was saying too much even if you’re not I was saying too much [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah yeah even if you’re not getting [ __ ] though dude it’s the best thing guy friendship
Seems better yeah I love hanging out with the boys love hurting myself yeah like falling over dropping [ __ ] well guy guys are cool this podcast just [ __ ] we just graduated dud clearing their throats well being a guy’s cool because imagine just a big book of tits [ __ ]
Idiots we’ve talked about baseball a big book of tits this is the most educational it’s been in a while the guy pod right now yeah this is the most it’s been in a while man sort of bring to the table man what that might say what was I Saying he said being a guy is cool because and I said something about yeah I love hanging out with my friends falling down and hurting myself oh well yeah cuz dude guys guys can tell a story dude just by saying dude yeah dude I was yeah you’re
Right you say you can say dude and I’ll be like dude I feel like I’m there right now that is that is like the yeah listen up all eyes on me right now yeah the quick dude or dude [ __ ] and then you’re like oh waa this about to be some yeah oh yeah
It really calls the spirit to attention I love guy stories I I remember this um we went to dinner once it was it was me a couple of my friends in this girl I was singing at the time and um I don’t remember why we got her so bad but I
Think about what we kind of the situation we put her in we just got her ass cuz she was telling a story that was kind of going nowhere and then we all just like I don’t remember what we said was like science has created the world’s first sentient woman watch as she tries
To tell the first ever story in under 10 minutes and then we go oh God we we spent so much time asking if we could we never stopped to ask if we should like in a woman who could speak was a k of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park yeah and
I was like that must have been really unkind to cuz if I were at a table of all Woman calling me like a PE brain caveman I would have flipped my [ __ ] lid gistic what was that uh the Last [Laughter] Supper that’s net yeah no it was hot pot dude there was a dude in uh in college he was like 64 shredded and he was talking to this girl at a party and she was telling him a story and he just kept saying penis as she’s telling the story as
She’s telling the story and they ended up hooking up yeah I watched the whole thing that’s [ __ ] huge you want to talk about like depression dude I saw the whole thing I was like holy [ __ ] like dialogue does not matter just broken nose R yeah watching with your face all lit up oh
Dude I could have sang to that girl’s tits and just you know get a call the [ __ ] dude it’s my [ __ ] girlfriend is that the is that the chick it’s Matt Hansel oh I was going to say you should answer Matt Hansel you suck is that the same guy that called you on
The uh yeah yeah he was the one who lied on my behalf damn yeah I know he’s a legend it’s really great that he um made that bit work like he was the funniest part of that sequence and he nothing he was super casual about nothing out of it whatsoever I uh
They’re both calling me what the [ __ ] can I call manans for two seconds sure dude hey man I’m on the Johnny salami podcast can you stop calling me no come on man put me on me and now are here we want to be on the Pod oh
[ __ ] what’s good M all right you’re live great man um tell to say something uh Ethan are you on right now yeah we’re recording you remember when you killed that girl oh oh dude oh you you didn’t really hurt her like hiding the body kind of did that half
Hazly six feet is really deep Bro I don’t know I don’t want to who wants to dig that big of a hole I didn’t yeah I didn’t know it was going to rain the next day that [ __ ] washed up on my porch we kind of lost you there uh
You’re right all right good riff guys I’m GNA get you guys have F all right well I’ll talk to you later okay they hung up that’s great those a comic dude those are my two best friends in the whole world yeah oh wow dude put me on
Yeah you got it true legend man yeah they’re great they’re um they’re really funny but they don’t get what they deserve like a lot of great comedians yeah you’re right damn dude when does that stop being true you’re y you’re really funny but you don’t get what you deserve well obviously you’re
Not that funny then are you oh people telling you that yeah like oh man you’re so good you’re so underated face or like yeah Roy Rosen you know him okay he says that to me all the time you’re [ __ ] great you’re so naturally funny you you’re going to would you figure it out
I’m like what well obviously I’m not that [ __ ] good if I don’t if I’m not almost like an insult yeah yeah it’s kind of acknowledging that I’m not very good would you rather someone just be like dude you’re you [ __ ] suck I’d rather just not say anything to me yeah
We don’t have to say nothing yeah yeah I don’t CU I don’t like when people lie I wish people I wish tough break was more accepted in in society you think he’s lying about how great I am yeah um I think he’s lying I think he probably just doesn’t know what
He’s talking about okay you just don’t think he’s a reliable genuinely thinks that I’m good I don’t think that he’s um yeah I don’t think that he if he was that kind of guy he would be like a a king maker in Hollywood yeah I’d rather someone just
Be honest with me I wish after if you ate [ __ ] someone could just look at you be like tough break you know get him next time oh I would I would say that to you I yeah oh thank you well I would laugh my ass off I appreciate that I
Laugh so hard people bomb I laugh pretty hard funniest thing in the world I do it partially as like a as like a favor cuz when it’s dead quiet I’ll just start like a as in that stunk but it’s funny how bad you’re doing oh yeah cuz if you
If you get off stage and someone’s like hey man like that was good that was great yeah don’t F that means you bomb uhhuh I love uh I love when people give you like um like backhanded [ __ ] like I did my my I have a big show tomorrow
Brag and I did like my my Classics yesterday just practice my friend was like yeah you were playing the hits and I was like the [ __ ] up yeah I could do new stuff too and it would blow you out of the [ __ ] water it’s interesting I
Think this might be a Brooklyn thing guy who doesn’t care well no really interesting I genuinely think it’s a a Brooklyn thing everyone’s very like narcissistic and like condescending you know like no one really when you go to other places man when you do comedy in other places like
Uh Boston or like where island or something like that or like Chicago like people will watch your set like other Comics will watch your set and like talk shop with you yeah but I’ve noticed here like no one watches anyone’s set yeah like no one’s like supportive it’s a
It’s just like a bunch of it’s everyone just like in their own bubble dude I think the glut of mics is kind of counterproductive sometimes cuz people are so like oh I can get so much done in a day I can do three mics and I’m writing all the time in between those
But you’re not interacting with other comedians you’re not engaged in their sets and not even really thinking about how your last set just went because you’re in such a hurry to get to the next one um whereas if you’re living like [ __ ] PE good Comics come out of like Dallas
You know what I mean yeah and if you have two mics a week you’re really [ __ ] working hard on those two mics yeah I mean a mic is just kind of like people just look at it the wrong way yeah and this is just my opinion but
People you’re right about it you know people like oh I’m going to hit this mic and this mic and it’s going to get me booked or whatever but it’s like dude no one gives a [ __ ] about like how many mics you go to yeah no yeah I used to
Get upset because I would go to like uh I would go to these mics and there would be dudes who were like they would like tell really edgy jokes mhm and all their boys would be laughing and I’d be so jealous you know I’d be like why can’t I make them laugh and
Then I would see those same guys this guy’s friends laugh yeah cuz they were like the popular kids right and then I would see those guys at actual shows bombing their [ __ ] dicks off and I was like oh that’s right none of this matters yeah it doesn’t make any sense
You have to make a random guy on the street who you’ve never met before laugh not like some 30 like 5y- old ass stooge yeah I don’t know I don’t know what I a lot of the time I’m like okay I’m either going to do well at this mic and then
It’s not going to matter because Comics don’t laugh at audience jokes or I’m going to bomb at this mic and then it’s going to suck because I’m like why did I even [ __ ] come here so the only thing that really matters is doing bad show and bad shows
Are those feel productive just getting them like if I do a bad show in front of nine audience members like that’s more productive than like a crowded mic with comedians yeah I don’t um I don’t really I just don’t get the whole mic uh hype you know what I mean
Like I just don’t even take it like to me it’s just like it would just be like going to batting practice you know what I mean like I know it’s G it doesn’t matter you know and also you don’t get the amount of time like if you have
Eight minutes you want to practice like you can’t do an eight minute mic that doesn’t exist anywhere and if it does you’re paying like [ __ ] $12 for it yeah the pay to do a mic it does help it helps so much to go to him though cuz like you’re like sharpening the sword
Dude like if you’re not prepared for war then you know then quickly th shall fall Julius Caesar I believe said that two two um god tier veterans dismantle and dissect comedy for your listening pleasure yeah I love how jaded I am two [ __ ] years into this thing it’s so cool good analogy man
Thank you you’re only two years in uh it’s going to be two and a half next month I think yeah I start November 2021 so you’re just like a piece of [ __ ] then two and a half years it’s like nothing dude yeah I know yeah I well I’m
I started when I was older like I I still need to get [ __ ] going quickly like I can’t make it you know I guess I can I don’t know I need to make it I need to be really that’s interesting I need to be rich and famous or I won’t be
Happy and God won’t let me into his kingdom I would pay to see you make it and then just be like this [ __ ] sucks I would too I kind of that’s what scares that really scares the [ __ ] out of me is I kind of see all the [ __ ] that I want and
I talk to guys they’re like that I promise you it’s not going to make me happy that’s not going to make you happy it’s not and then I am like well I don’t want to do anything else so I still need to trick myself into thinking it’s going
To make me happy just so I’ll do [ __ ] yeah cuz either lie to myself that this is going to make me happy and follow this path or literally rot and do nothing and get fat and hang out at my bomb’s house yeah I think I I just want to like is that funny
I just want to do it for um I think it’ be cool to do it for living and just be kind of like an underground guy that would be a make enough money to like do it for a living but like not have any fame or anything like that I want to
Travel so bad yeah cuz I I like going places but I don’t like going places for no reason but if I’m like yeah I got to set up in Calgary I would just [ __ ] hang out in in Calgary for days sick like travel yeah D [ __ ] skate see
Whatever the [ __ ] opera house looks like I ass they have one you’re like barely breaking even but yeah [ __ ] yeah I make $50 on the weekend that would be cool that’d be sick never own any property it’s going to be so hard to be famous and like still like be funny yeah
Like you have everything do you have any famous people you think are still funny when you when people say like you know who’s a god Chappelle agree disagree agree yeah you think he’s you think he’s hilarious yeah well my favorite comic’s uh Nick schwartzen but he’s he’s going through it right now
Dude I saw that clip of him melting on stage yeah it bumed me out it was sad I kind of wanted like I wanted someone to reach out to him dude give a hug it was right after I read that book right there too run in the light yeah I was flipping
Through this earlier you should read it man I uh I might actually I’m reading infinite just right now cuz I’m a genius a moment out the book where uh it’s like veteran are you farting right now oh yeah this veteran comic kind of like loses it on
Stage uh he does like a guest spot for nor McDonald in the book oh wow and he kind of has like a breakdown on stage and I like just finished reading that mhm and then the whole Nick schwartzen thing came out who’s obviously like who was good friends with Norm right so it
Was [ __ ] weird I was like holy [ __ ] how um how appropo was it like a um like a Michael Richards thing like an NW word type situation who the [ __ ] is Michael Richards is that his name Kramer oh yeah no no no not that bad carpet and bombing that wasn’t cool yeah
I want to come out here and and um disavow Michael Richards what did he do he said the N word at The Comedy Store was it there Laugh Factory sorry yeah Chappelle had like a thing where he like talked about that right she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my
Life hey man so sorry that I break the fourth wall yeah I didn’t I never saw this what happened you never seen it I saw I saw Chappelle set about um Michael Richards yeah it’s uh I haven’t seen it in a minute I think that there’s a black guy
In the front row like heckling him MH I think either that or or he’s just straight up bombing and then at some point uh he just like gets in the guy’s face he like oh everyone look at him look at him he’s a and then calls him
The N word what and then everyone’s going oh no um and that and then he uh wasn’t really allowed to do anything after that cuz that’s as bad of a meltdown as you can have that like ruined his career yeah and then he went of Comedians and Cars Getting Coffee and
Jerry’s like well I forgive you really he’s like thank you Jerry holy [ __ ] yeah that’s wild how did I not know that it’s so awesome do they still have the video of him like oh yeah yeah you can you can pull it up just him dropping the Endb and we don’t condone this yeah there was a a video I saw it was like this old man on the highway and like a [ __ ] uh like a Kia SUV just going like [ __ ] 80 miles an hour dude and he just lowers the window
At uh like a like two white people and just starts dropping the end bomb over and over again for like 15 minutes straight like like he has veins in his neck they’re like dude the driver side window yeah of his own car he’s like on
The highway he’s going like 80 M an hour with his head out the window and they were both white then that’s cool yeah wow that’s when you know world is like you know something’s going on something’s in the water oh yeah yeah that man is not
Well we pray for him though I love highway driving I didn’t know um you from Massachusetts is that right no Rhode Island oh oh wow that’s great you SE it what does that mean dude no your energy you seem like a island kind of
Guy a relaxed guy do you use yeah do do you use um drunk drive up there used to yeah yeah everywhere except New York yeah I mean you can’t even drive sober here dude you lose it yeah it’s like falling down you absolutely lose this place is literally the this is the shittiest
Place on Earth that’s not true man you don’t think so Baghdad yeah all right the weager concentration camps yeah I would say are probably wor say the US this is a night in the country I don’t even know if that’s true man really Gary Indiana give me some pros to New York
City um you’re not going to like this it’s the best public transit system in the world okay maybe not in the world probably certainly not in the world in the in the country because it’s a grid system um yeah it’s the easiest to navigate if you’ve never been here
Before you could you know where to go and then the trains always run never shut down might be late but they’re you know relatively clean um let me think what do I love about it so much here there’s people I don’t like I [ __ ] hate being in an
Empty City wow I feel like the apocalypse just happened yeah I’ll go to like Cincinnati and there’s just like a fully constructed town and nobody in it I’m like well why did we even build this dude what was the point damn if they had known that work from home
Was going to be coming in like 30 years I don’t think they would have built like I don’t know Houston yeah like why why what do we need it for people are going to the office just to eventually not live here this is so wild living here
Like I remember moving here and being like Oh like it’s not going to be like it’s going to be bad but then you see like what actually happens you’re like dude how is this even [ __ ] legal you know what I mean it’s like crazy [ __ ] what kind of [ __ ] are you seeing well
Yeah okay yeah I guess I’m just really numb to it honestly the horrible I’ve seen like three stories in the past month about someone just getting beheaded like d you know how [ __ ] crazy that is to just be like walking down the street imagine like being on a
Date with a woman mhm and you just see someone just like yeah yeah I always I love um uh my my I one I love with my my family and uh my parents watch ABC Nightly News yeah so they’ll they’ll do like the bottom of the hour and then the
Top of the hour you live with your family now I live my family right now for for another week okay uh um and move back to Bushwick okay I I feel like the need to say the whole thing so that the girl who listens to this doesn’t think
I’m a loser yeah the singular girl um we’ll do the bottom of the hour which is like a puppy fundraiser at is- 187 goes off barking Le or something like that and then you know all right I’m Norah odonnell then open up hi I’m ler Holt uh
Three Latina babies burn to death in the Bronx I’m like fantastic that’s great yeah and then it’s horror stories for 90 minutes and then one cute piece about like a volleyball team yeah and then just like you know gang shootings 18 car pile up there’s uranium in the water
Yeah ganas Canal is a dead dolphin in it that really bummed me out dead dolphin washed up in the river yeah like get out of here man what are you doing there no place for you yeah this is New York these streets don’t play have you ever been
Robbed no but I always think about it’s always like the small things that make me upset like people don’t hold doors for people here M um I do that man that’s good that’s good manners really I I helped an old Chinese lady carry her her carriage up a flight stairs W it was
Great good man it was cool felt cool yeah think shiv’s dead dude but it’s still alive I guess yeah just you got to be old in Chinese and will take I’ll take gck area if you’re a hot if you’re like a hot girl I’ll get scared it’s just weird
Man like the small things really piss me off what hold doors doors uh just saying like basic [ __ ] to people that d really crazy actually if I you know get something and I’m just like all right thanks a lot and they don’t say anything I’m like actually go [ __ ] yourself my
Mind yeah I wonder what it is though dude I wonder what led to this H cuz I think the crime rate was actually higher in like the 90s and stuff but we didn’t have like social media or anything I think if we did have social media back then it would be
Crazy oh yeah like it would be like all all out genocide it went really I feel like it crime really went down after 911 cuz Giuliani kind of just became the Golden Boy he’s like yeah we’re going to let cops move into your house we’ll just
Watch you is that what he was like uh Julia he was he was pretty strong cop yeah him and Bloomberg I think I think Bloomberg killed sto and frisk I don’t remember was that a Supermarket he just shot up a supermarket we all really mad about it yeah what the [ __ ] yeah they put in a whole food so he’s like you guys value this [ __ ] there goes the neighborhood not me yeah he’s got an M60 like strapped to like an [Laughter]
ATV Runing up on a trike with a bazooka she got like a dildo on his forehead I’m the man blowing up the cat food section yeah that’s what I would do if I Wasa Bloomberg oh dude if I was a New York like a city politician dude I’d be doing
Crazy [ __ ] oh yeah yeah you see well I like that the mayor got his ear pierced after he won the election did he oh yeah he’s got like a little pirate hoop is that Brian Adams Eric Adams yeah very close Brian Adams sings Heaven that’s right that’s right that’s
A jam dude Eric Adams had a a hot quote which is like uh my haters my my haters will be the waiters at my table of success bro you don’t you don’t have ha you’re the mayor of New York City yeah haters I feel like don’t want you to
Succeed at the open mic people shouldn’t be mad at him either he’s just you know he’s getting strings pulled you know what I mean someone’s just pulling the strings for him he’s being petered I wonder who it is though dude you think it’s [ __ ] um say
It I forgot his [ __ ] name dude he’s a legend forgot his name he’s a legend though uh oh Brady oh yeah yeah he’s probably still alive out there just P the strings yeah can’t believe can’t believe it do you see that um yeah I forgot you’re all seeing
[ __ ] um the documentary Dan Schneider no Dan Schneider the Nickelodeon pedophile yeah he’s uh he was like the Creator by Carly and Drake and Josh and all that oh really and he apparently was like a horrible like uh abusive man to all these like little child actors really
They’re doing clips of all at and it’s like the it’s the it’s the show your uncle penis day school and then you show your penis to your Uncle and he’s like very nice [ __ ] and that’s the sketch and everyone in the ‘ 90s is like this is
Hilarious yeah this is good stuff back then they were like this is good [ __ ] yeah it’s kids just covered in like like translucent slime that he like you know like spills on he was like what oh it’s just like this really weirdly horny sketch comedy yeah what’s going why is
Everyone a pedophile like in Hollywood and stuff you’re asking me yeah I don’t know I wouldn’t know that’s the only reason I’m not in Hollywood yeah I wonder if they just get so bored like we got to spice things up a little bit mhm that’s how that’s what unites them yeah it’s like
You know how all um like sorority sisters are evil you don’t know that yeah and they all become nurses yeah because they all take care of each other once they get out of college because they all like beat freshman to death and they’re they’re Rush week yeah it’s just like a
A group yeah yeah that’s how you get in at like Bane Capital yeah I try to uh I try to be open-minded though and think like you know like why like if you’re in that situation dude like if you’ve got you know if you’re set for life MoneyWise and you got all these
Connections and you’re just like like bored like for me dude like eggs and toast that gets me [ __ ] riled up but for someone like Epstein like that’s not going to do it not doing it right he’s going to need something you know a little bit more little bit more toast 15
A little bit he’s going to need two or three more pieces of toast yep so just so we’re clear eggs and toast and this uh metaphor is women of legal age yeah and then more toast I should have said like uh biscuits biscuits and gravy it’s like butter in a Biscuit
Mhm like having sex I think buttering a Biscuit’s like just eating a chck out oh is that what that is yeah that I’ve never buttered there only one way to find out dude yeah I don’t I’ve never eaten a chick out I mostly just lick the thing the thing yeah
Go that’s interesting yeah I’m going to clip that just put that in LinkedIn they don’t they do not like that come on man I got a corporate job don’t do this yeah it’s all right they’re going to fire my ass anyway cuz I’m mad at it I appreciate you for coming man thank
You for having me I had had a great I’m not joking dude like I’m not like your other friends dude I really they bust my balls quite a lot a lot of your friends told me to have you on like uh when I first moved here I just wasn’t ready yet
Man to have me on when I first move I didn’t know anyone so oh yeah they like you should have Ethan on and I was like who’s Ethan that’s great that’s really nice what the [ __ ] yeah just to boost your spirits man thank you for saying that
They usually just say a lot of H heinous [ __ ] about my my tattoo and myir I was like hey man like I don’t know anyone here like who should I have and they they mention your name thanks John yeah I appreciate that just letting you know
Man yeah you know and then um I like your [ __ ] I like your pants dude yeah you can barely tell they’re wrinkled no but um thank you guys for for watching uh Ethan uh what’s your social media anything coming up uh yeah if it’s not coming out for tomorrow is it no great
That’s great uh yeah I’m going to be headlining in Long Island on April 5th that’s a big [ __ ] deal for a guy like me oh yeah dude yeah they got to sketch show on April for follow follow Ethan me forever on Instagram for all my all my
Big tour dates yeah and you’re Tik Tok famous dude and I’m Tik Tok and follow Ethan me forever on Tik Tok for that [ __ ] oh yeah man it’s good
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