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You are at:Home » Key & Peele – Killing an African Warlord
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Key & Peele – Killing an African Warlord

adminBy adminMarch 31, 2024No Comments2 Mins Read
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COMMANDER BEAUJOLAIS! OUR FORCES HAVE BEEN DEVASTATED. THE ENEMY IS AT THE EDGE OF THE VILLAGE. THERE ARE NOT MANY OF US LEFT. SHOULD WE SURRENDER? – YOU MAY SURRENDER, JENGO. BUT I AM AFRAID THAT IS A LUXURY I CANNOT AFFORD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY DO TO WARLORDS.

IF THEY CAPTURE ME, THEY WILL TORTURE ME FOR WEEKS. THAT IS NO WAY TO GO. I WANT YOU, MY MOST TRUSTED SOLDIER OVER THE AGE OF EIGHT, TO TAKE MY LIFE. THAT IS MY FINAL ORDER. AAH! OH! OH! OH! OW! OW! NO, DO–NO! AAH, STOP, STOP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? HAA!

– I WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU, SIR. – NOT WITH THIS! THERE’S A GUN IN THE DRAWER! AAH! – OH. SO SORRY. OKAY. – AMAZING. YOU MISSED EVERY VITAL ORGAN, JENGO. OH… – FOUND IT. – ALL RIGHT, NOW KILL ME, JENGO. HURRY, PLEASE! [screams] NOT IN THE KNEE!

– I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT AN OPEN CASKET. – YOU ARE AN IDIOT! [groans] – DON’T SAY THAT. I DID TRY MY BEST. – SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD, YOU IMBECILE! [groans] GOD. – GOOD-BYE, COMMANDER. [cocks gun] YOU SORRY-ASS PIECE OF SH– [gun clicks] [clicking]

– DID YOU JUST INSULT ME AS YOU WERE ABOUT TO FIRE? – OH, WELL, YOU HAD INSULTED ME EARLIER. I TH–I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE DEAD. AH, OOH. SO SORRY. – OW! OW! OW! OW! STOP–STOP IT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

– THE GUN IS EMPTY. WOULD YOU LIKE I STAB YOU AGAIN? – NO, NO, NO! PLEASE! JENGO, THERE ARE BULLETS! THEY ARE OVER THERE! – OKAY. – JENGO, PLEASE HURRY! I AM IN AGONY! [clatters] OW! WHAT THE BLAZES, MAN? – I THOUGHT I COULD KILL YOU VERY QUICK

BY HITTING YOU WITH THAT BIG COOKING POT. – OH, MY GOD, WOULD YOU PLEASE, I MEAN, PLEASE GET IT OVER WITH? – I DID NOT FIND THE BULLETS. – WHAT? – BUT BETTER. BOILING HOT WATER. – WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH– [screams] I SURRENDER! I AM THE GENERAL DOMINICK BUJUNE!

– COMMANDER! DON’T GO! THEY’LL TORTURE YOU!

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