The Love Boat🍓 Hippies and YuppiesFrat WarsReturn of the Lambdas🍓 Best comedy american Full Episodes

Hello hello we’re the bells buddy and Betty I know it’s just too cute for words but we’ve learned to live with it uh we’re here for the Lambda Road Delta convention oh of course and you’re the couple who wanted the cabin next to the davises is Mr Davis a fraternity brother

Of yours oh we were all best friends in college we haven’t seen them for years we all went to Woodstock together our picture was in Life Magazine nudes for peace bud Oh you too look horrific have you bad great hey buddy hey Larry you haven’t changed a bit I mean not at all yeah well neither of you I mean you got a suit and tie but you kind of look like um like my father [Laughter]

This is this is great it’s terrific a it yeah great Why Us why can’t this fraternity hold its convention on something that can withstand the shock Oh Captain I assure you there’s absolutely nothing to worry about the lambas are a great group of guys I don’t know I was one of

Dartmouth that’s what a lot has happened since you were in college like what animal house this should be satisfactory honorable consulted president Mr dict Queen Elizabeth President Reagan and the pope have sailed on this ship true but I know how particular you are sir no Captain St ah Grant woodro head of the

Lambda alumni association yes and he’ll be staying with us back to University lambas as per my request you’re not planning on sleeping at the foot of my bed are you dick only if you want me to sir well there anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable please let me

Know super but all we’ll need right now is the barber shop we getting a tad Shaggy gentl and you were expecting Animals are you Captain stupid if I say no will you leave my ship sorry for the disruption I’m Eric Matthews president of Lambda Ro Delta’s SCU chapter we Are hi I’m I’m very pleased to meet you uh this is Ace Evans a former Lambda and our ship’s photographer he’ll be taking pictures for the insurance claim Captain these guys are harmless trust me they’re just a little over excited about the cruise that’s all uh Matthews let’s

Get to our rooms uh this thing it’s starting to leak leak yeah why would it leak what do you have in there you use the sacred Arc of the lambdas for a beer cooler sure I want you to take it up to the cabin and clean

It out and guard it with your life until after the ceremony all right Matthews don’t deviate your septum we are are so uh how are the women on this ship are these easy as drama Majors harmless trust me so one or two of the chapters are a

Little while I say we go with it really Got Okay best party oh that’s easy New Year’s Eve 1970 worst hangover New Year 1971 oh I have one I have one best restaurant for midnight Munchies Changs home of chain on a bun you got it how did we eat that garbage huh what this from the guy that used to bribe Chang

For the recipe best English Professor oh that’s easy daughtering Dr Dixon he never assigned papers he never gave exams all he did was read aloud from the collected works of Charles Dickens it was the best time it was the worst of times you know we didn’t realize but

Those really were the best of times hey give me a break that was College not the Renaissance all right all right but you can’t deny we had some pretty terrific times I’m not but it was only four years out of our Lives I’ve come a long way

Since the student strike for coet dorms can’t we talk about what we’re doing now hey the student strike I forgot all about that you remember I haven’t I was leading the C in in front of front of the library when they turned the water hoses on us I remember now the water

Pressure ripped off your blouse yeah and you didn’t even move I mean talk about dedication talk about humiliation nobody noticed [Applause] bir you imile you you splash water on my swimsuit now I’ll have to change okay hawy out of the pool he now okay be right with You hi find of I sit down uh no be my guest so you want to get naked excuse me yes he’s on a mutant Exchange program and he looks so humanoid it’s done we’re silly puty do you understand English a little touch one of the women on the ship and I’ll kill you

Okay so you want to get naked didn’t you hear what I just said can’t help it major Yos look if they want to get naked they’ll let you know all right that’s it that’s it everybody out of everybody over here guys come here I thought I made it clear to you

Idiot so we can’t cause any trouble on board may I remind you that our chapter is on probation know then act like it get out of here yeah who’s guarding the AR Landes Feldman we tied him to it you there I’m Nolan dick president of the backer University chapter oh I’m mer I

Know Matthews your chapter’s disgrace to the entire lambar Ro Delta tradition not to mention the world well we do what we can you see most of us who have devoted Our Lives to lambar Road Delta did so because of the benefits that come from being a member of a prestigious

Fraternity thanks to you and your Riff Raff we’re going to have a difficult time getting a job with any of the Fortune 500 oh sorry I seem you’ve dozed off while you were speaking do us all a favor and affiliate with an organization more suited to your style perhaps Hell’s

Angels always good to meet a brother may I have your attention please for those of you who have been making out in the lifeboats I’d like to remind you that these are safety devices and are absolutely off limits and I want all those air horns in my office immediately Now how much of this stuff should we dump in let’s see I recommend a/4 cup for one load 800 boxes Nolan what makes you so so sure the se you guys are going to get blamed for this Elementary Mr Conie hey that’s 71 all you need is one more one more you’re going to make us all famous one more for the record books come on this is getting out of control I got four people in the infirmary already hangovers well three sunburns in what appears to be a case of third degree

Hickey 72 do it do it okay hey guys guys guys listen hey wait a second that’s it get him out of here before he explodes come on it’s a champion oh and look here’s our cabin Larry built it we have the most wonderful view of TOs

Honey show them a picture of our condo when the smog is light you can see all of la oh you live in a highrise huh yeah yeah we have excellent security oh so do we see uh nobody lives around us must get kind of lonely now we like it better in the crowded

City the city is where it’s happening uh you know you look very nice tonight Larry yeah this is probably the most dressed up I’ve been since the premier of Easy Rider yeah I love this necklace you sent me Larry you do beautiful work oh thank

You each one of those stones by the way are blessed by an old Indian priest well I think it’s time for dinner should we go inside oh buddy Betty tells me you had something specially prepared for all of us right I had them do the Lamb with a

Special Dharma greb Curry like like I do at home in the microwave oh the microwave doesn’t that put out radiation and poison the body no it puts out heat and Cooks the Food so will you come well I don’t know how many people are going to be at this party oh it’s hard to tell these things have a way of mushrooming before the mushroom how many uh counting Amy um three and let me take a wild guess

It’s going to take place in your cabin right but um we’re going to have to keep a very low profile about this yeah that’s no easy thing when you’ve got a profile like Hawkin we have to do a show in an hour and afterwards we’re really pretty tired yeah and we hate parties

So what do you think I don’t know we are going to have to come up with some great way to impress these girls girls like guys with a sense of humor mhm got some fake vomit in my room now we are going to have to come up with something even better than [Laughter]

That oh good get some work this man House help maintenance housekeeping somebody send a [Applause] Plumber would you like to dance oh I’d love To my name is I know Eric Matthews I’ve had my eye on you since this Cru started I’m Connie dish Delta roai a sorority sister in the [Applause] Flush I am I think I’d like to sit this one out okay no um I mean out out it’s a little stuffy in here do you mind if we take a walk in a more secluded pleas are you kidding compliance is my middle name mine’s Lendy you know this is fun I think we’re in pretty good shape for a bunch of oldtimers yeah well Betty and I go down to the health club every other day I owe these thighs to my aerobics instructor Larry and I work out too it’s

100 yard our hike to our well for our spring water is it crazy how we start the entire Fitness industry to do exactly what primitive man did naturally yeah well it’s easier to go down to the health club than it is to drag Betty around by the hair I think we’ve

Progressed beyond that point you saying that I’m in Neanderthal because I don’t belong to one of your fleshies well actually the fitness center is a very serious health club we have a 24-hour nutrition counselor yeah the people who go there are really into Health but it is a bit narcissistic

Isn’t it I mean mirrors on the walls and leotard boutiques now hold it just a minute are you calling me narcissistic oh no buddy I think what Larry means is just that people from Southern California tend to be more conscious of their physical appearance uhhuh yeah

Well I guess when you live on a mountain top it doesn’t really matter what you look like wait a minute buddy I’m not in a confrontation I’m out of here wow you could use an hour in the gym to work off some of that hostility oh yeah maybe you’d like to lend him

Your workout Tape you know I thought I’d seen everything but that guy was the last straw I’m going to put a sign in all the bars that say no pants no service funny I didn’t notice it right away probably because of his tan ladies and gentlemen the international Lounge is proud to present the [Applause] Mermaid La Don’t you want to see the Lou show [Laughter] no I didn’t know I was this easy oh I’m sorry I’m coming on a little too strong aren’t I well a little do you want me stop what what was the Question N you know in my day the lambas had more respect for women’s clothing this is not to say that an occasional pledge didn’t dabble in bazer trafficking but these men these men were good students honorable exalted president I took the liberty of sectioning your grapefruit myself I know how fussy you

Are about the membranes let it rest dickfer what are you laughing at Matthews you’re going to pay for that soap sets prank we had nothing to do with it we’re innocent sir we were drinking and chasing women honest I about had it with you guys painting SCU

On the lifeboats setting off the ship’s fire alarm putting exploding cigars in the gift shop that’s a good one look one more shenan and one more disruption and you guys are out of the fraternity sir we were not responsible for any of that oh no huh now these were found in the ship’s

Pool H how do you explain that my hat I’ve never seen this before in my life you know if I had my way you guys would never have had custody of the Sacred Arc of the land is to begin with the tradition has it that each chapter

Must have it for a year I’m just glad that this year is over with now get out of here sir you can eat that get out of here well you heard him thanks to you guys we’re practically history in this fraternity we’re sorry Eric we can’t

Help it it’s just that when you’re not around we kind of lose control yeah we become ourselves and what’s with this soap saids thing that’s juven even for you guys no we had nothing to do with that I swear you swear I swear you know I think someone’s trying to frame us yeah

And I think it’s fairly obvious who that someone is they put a stink bomb in the air conditioning duck Adam I’m getting tired of all this foolishness well we finally got all the soap suds cleaned up Sir so no harm no foul right sir I think

The pool should be off limits to those guys and the and the dining room I better check the infirmary is there any way we can close off the passageways Captain you’re going to restrict the litus to their cabins for the rest of the cruise yeah now the only remaining

Question is whether their do should be lock locked or unlocked they’re just having fun that’s all come on you guys went to college don’t you remember what it’s like to have fun no come on Captain you once told me that you were a member of a fraternity now didn’t you guys ever

Do anything just for the fun of it h well uh that was one time actually I knew it all right what’ you do no no no no come on open up what was the big stunt well uh we uh loosened the top of the salt shakers in the cafeteria that’s pathetic

These kids are dangerous lock their doors I’m with you sir now look Captain the cruise is almost over I’m sure that the lambas have pulled all the stunts are going to pull Captain I know in the bottom of my heart that when you think this over you’re going to give the lambadas another Chance [Applause] I’ll see to it these are recycled [Applause] [Laughter] Sir good morning and welcome to bapco land tours will be leaving in 10 minutes from the coral deck gangway we hope you enjoy your day by the way for you colleg men please note that maritime law defines unauthorized use of the ship’s launch as an act of piracy PID to the

Pyramid to the pyramid to the pyamid to the pyramid excuse me excuse me but uh what are you guys doing initiating horbath how does he feel about about that he likes it see trying that again you don’t get to see the dance of the virgins see you

Later see I just don’t understand why they have to do all these crazy stunts in my neighborhood the loser used to wear the bandages it’s tradition when I went to med school they made us dress up like women and try to pick up men at the Fister Hotel

Educated men did that Isaac you’ve got to learn to be more tolerant they didn’t do any real harm yeah I guess you’re right you know I wonder where they got all those gauze bandages I’ll kill the little Weasel We’re all behaving a little childishly don’t you think kind of I mean just because those two are going at each other there’s no reason for us to get involved and it is there yeah we have a lot of years invested in this friendship don’t

We we have a lot of memories in common I used to tell you everything thing I remember you were the first person I called on the night I realized I was in love with Larry I’ll never forget that it was so romantic you got arrested at

The campus ride for peace fell in love in the Patty wagon when I came down to belly out there you were kissing through the wire mesh yeah to this day the smell of teargas brings tears to my eyes Sorry I snapped at you last night look let’s make a pack okay no matter how obnoxious those two get we’re not going to get involved deal Deal say remember that guy you dated used to sing and bed what ever happened to him I married him that was Larry hell yeah I always know when things have gone well he does the entire second side of Abby Road I can’t believe it I thought for sure that old bag of Republican wind was finally going to kick them out of the fraternity what do we do now noan give up I beg your pardon I said what do we do now give up where did you get a prep school oh

Now sorry what we do do now is move on to plan kick them while they’re down is a list of some of the things you’ll be needing should have no trouble finding any of these items on Shore should however an unforeseeable snag arise I can be reached at the NOA

Asparta tennis Clinic any questions super Miss dish I just came to tell you I quit or cont Mis you can’t quit your assignment’s just begun look this Eric’s a nice guy why don’t we just leave him alone well if he’s so nice then you won’t mind keeping the Divine Mr M

Occupied for the night we have a little surprise plan for this ceremony and we want him out of the way forget it unlike the rest of the people in this room I have been able to retain at least a few of my value use really then perhaps we should inform

Professor erck where you purchased your term paper on crime and Punishment now we’re going into aapco with Larry and Rebecca today and we’re going to have fun do you understand yeah here they are hi we’re just about set hi I brought my guide book what should we do first first whatever you want doesn’t make any difference to me well why don’t we start

At the open market we could pick up a few souvenirs oh it’s kind of hot over there and it’s awfully crowded well we could go to the mission there’s a tour that starts at 2:00 honey we already went to the one in Santa Barbara all right why don’t you two guys

Decide hey whatever fine fine with me yeah anything’s okay with me see I’ve got a great idea why don’t we just wing it we’ll go wherever our feet take us a great plan no it’s a good idea we won’t be slaves to a schedule come on let’s go catch the

Launch I can feel the fun Already For wow invite a guy to your room you really set a mood would you like something to drink uh wine beer iced tea champagne Mocha Mix iced tea sounds good it’s uh got to get get cold you and I the other hand uh Connie listen I’m in a little bit of a rush

Tonight kind Rush Oh God in heaven yes but need to uh show up at the bank at the ceremony tonight we passing the Ark of the lambas and it’s what about our ceremony oh yeah I really need to check up on the guys no I can’t let You don’t worry I I’ll come back oh I’m not worried it’s just that uh you don’t understand I mean uh the minute you leave I could lose my mood completely I mean I could never ever get it back again I’m sorry Eric there’s just too much at stake here I can’t let you

Leave I really have to Eric oh I was hoping I wouldn’t have to tell you this but you leave me no choice there’s an even more important reason why I can’t let you leave what’s that my entire Future’s at stake aren’t you putting a lot of

Pressure on yourself oh it’s not me it’s it’s noan Nolan he forced me to do this oh I get it please let me explain okay no don’t bother just who do you think you’re dealing with you’re a freshman if I ever pass philosophy I’ll be a senior I know set

Up look I told you I’d buy you a new pair of shoes what else can I do huh you could stop dressing like Willie Nelson’s brother you’re really being a crybaby about this it’s not Larry’s fault we were robbed not his fault all I wanted

To do was go into aapo and have a little fun do some Paris sailing lie on the beach have a p colada we did all have P coladas at the police station hey those things happen no they don’t not L you’ve got a hippie friend with some idiot idea

About hiking the Mountain Trails of aapco oh and you’d rather spend your vacation in the lap of crass commercialism hey I like craft commercialism it’s a whole lot more comfortable and the Pina Coladas are cold not served out of a canteen great they got my key they stole

My shoes my key my camera and my gold card I love that gold card guess I’m lucky I don’t own a gold card oh yeah you’re a real lucky guy all they got off you was $20 cash you know why they didn’t steal your shoes too because they

Were already wearing better shoes and you got on buddy that’s enough I see you judge a man by his shoes shut up Larry all Betty and I have done today is listen to you two guys fight we are sick of it we came on this trip together

Because we were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time and you two have spoiled everything everybody changes can’t you see that if you can accept it at least shut up long enough so that Betty and I can enjoy the rest of our trip and I have the

Key hey you don’t have the gold C too do You ladies and gentlemen we hope you enjoyed your stay in Sunny aapo we would like to remind you to stay clear of the Leo deck as the lambas will be having their banquet There feel ridiculous in this thing yeah I don’t see why he work calf cans all through college well that was different these things make you feel like you were here to sing the Messiah tradition lends continuity to our lives hey remember when we were helping with voter registration in Mississippi

We were driving down that back road got stopped by a crowd building a bonfire in a field remember Larry you thought it was a k clux clan of course it turned out to be a football pep rally for the local high school oh and remember the summer we hitchhiked the Woodstock buddy

Yeah the music sense of Brotherhood the long lines for the toilets I’m not going to present the Arc of the lambas looking like an idiot why not you do everything else looking like an idiot sorry I’m late guys I just found out the dickfur set Connie up to keep me

Away from the ceremony tonight give me locked in her room that’s disgusting she still there by any chance your mind it’s like an open sewer come on guys why aren’t you dressed aha small problem we have been short red and you know the tradition of the fraternity can’t wear anything

Underneath them why not because nothing must come between you and your role but loyalty and honor and this thing it’s just not long enough to cover my honor welcome man of fi the en courage and Friends we’ll open our annual Lambda Road Delta banquet with the traditional greeting fer robai Pap filer robai

Pap rejoice in the Brotherhood of Man and now before we Feast together we’ll have the passing of the Sacred Lambda Ark which contains the sacred relics now the new Guardian will be the Baxter University lambas last year’s Guardians the SCU Landers uh will make the Presentation let’s get it no that’s exactly what they want us to do get kicked out on the spot let’s go ahead with the ceremony we’ll deal with them later sir it’s obvious these mud dwellers have nothing but contempt for tradition deckford can’t you ever speak like a normal

Person it’s just not my style so Mr Matthews I trust you have an explanation for your retired uh we grew over the summer the SCU chapter of lambar Ro Delta is proud to turn over the sacred Arc of relics to our brothers at Baxter we have guarded the cherished relics and

Now present them for your review remember this part yeah I wonder what the chicken Symbolize What I don’t understand is how did they get enough pingpong balls to fill up the entire casino well I guess it’ be my fault sir they told me they were going to have some sort of major turn Vicky what’s the matter somebody raided my room I wonder

Who I I’ll kill him I will kill this I’m putting a lock on my Dresser Mr Matthews you allowed chickens to roost on our relics From This Moment your chapter is officially out of this fraternity oh come on sir we didn’t know the chickens were in there we were just as surprised as you were talk talk talk talk you’re out Matthews that’s my final

Verdict yes sir let’s go guys super champagne for everyone you know dford oh something just occurred to me we’re out of this fraternity we have no reason to be on good behavior do we how about a nice dessert you don’t have the tarity Mr Matthews this is conduct in gentle gentlemen gentle

Gentlemen gentl gentlemen gentlemen I think this is the time to exercise a little selfcontrol kind reminds me of Chicago 68 except what we were dodging was a lot more dangerous than pies yeah but if we threw pies it was for a better America come on let’s show these kids how it’s done come On getting mean now people please stop this Madness ladies and gentlemen may I remind you that we are not children I appreciate your Cooperation I’m giving the lambas who are holding my daughter just 5 minutes to return her to my cabin no questions asked admire the way you first beat that lemon mering pie across the room yeah well it’s all on the wrist yeah we kind of got off on the

Wrong foot and stayed there for two days didn’t we yeah my fault too it’s not like we didn’t fight in college oh we fought yeah but we stayed friends listen next year Betty and I are going to be going out to Yos why don’t you guys join us we’ve got all kinds of

Room in the A-frame you’re going to go to the Wilderness and you’re going to stay in a house yeah tell you what you and Rebecca can pitch a tent out in the backyard all right we’ll have a great time well tell you what if it’ll make

You feel any better we won’t let you use the bathrooms I don’t believe this look at this mess all right okay I don’t care how long it takes I want you to keep everybody out here at work until this deck is sugarfree you got that good night you know we put Limburger cheese

In the Dean’s light socket back in 48 that was a funeral don’t bur this forgive me son but you’ve got a blueberry in your teeth right there you stop that Mr W Mr wood there’s something I have to tell you you talk and I’ll talk Little Miss turn oh go ahead cuz I

Don’t care anymore talk about what Eric Nolan blackmailed me to help him with this crummy little schem Mr Woodrow the SCU lambas are not responsible for the havoc on this ship you mean they didn’t disrupt the mermaid’s performance no they did that they didn’t start the

Pifi oh my God I really I I I didn’t know I mean all I know is that they didn’t fill the swimming pool soap Sid or paint the lifeboats or put chickens in the sacred Ark because this man was responsible for all of that he wanted to

Blame the SCU lambdas for everything so you’d expel them I swear sir on my mother’s life I did none of those things sure you did okay but I meant well I wanted a better fraternity for the sake of our founding fathers they’re dead go to your room dickfer go to your room

Dickfer that was a wonderful thing you did young lady you too Matthews but I didn’t say anything sir that’s what I mean I seem to have this um habit of doing very dramatic things when I’m with you I hope so k K well I guess we’ll all be be seeing each other in to in June yes and you’re going to come visit us in Los Angeles right word of honor your son Robert will have fun playing with our coyote um I’m not sure I want him playing with a wild

Animal Coyote’s our son oh he’s very Tang pthew you know how a fraternity is bound by those secret things yes sir I think at food fight last night should have remain one of those secret things yes sir Super sorry easy with that dick you’re already skating up then I if another fraternity overboards this ship again I’m taking a cruise oh come on dad they weren’t that bad they weren’t that bad what are you talking about they kidnapped you they held you over 4 hours yeah Vicky what exactly

Happened I can’t talk right now dad I’ve got a date bye Vicki with Home Vicki all righty everybody look happy the captain keeps scrapbook oh that’s a beauty great thank you you’ll get that to us as soon as possible right sir thank you don’t move oh this will make an incredible picture I know the lighting is perfect and if I

Tilt my head a little to the left the composition will be exactly right to immortalize me on film but are you a mind reader no my father was a photographer that was the line he used to meet my mother good all righty Ace Ace don’t forget the chef

Needs a picture of his welcome aboard Buffet before we let the passengers loose on it okay right you got it well Ace yes you that family that won the most happy family award well they’ve waited so long for you to take their picture they’re yelling at one another

All right be there as soon as I’m free now miss well looks like I’m free now Frank this is such a big ship how will we ever find her don’t worry she’s here why don’t you look around for her while I go check us in it looks like you’re looking for

Someone special oh yes I am I’m looking for my daughter mom Sandy glad I can help oh my baby oh oh it’s been so so long so long sweetheart why did you ever go oh Mom please not now okay I’m sorry it’s just that I’ve missed you so much I missed you too

Oh hi Sandy welcome home how about a kiss for you dear old stepdad huh I thought you said that Frank was in Detroit on business mom he was but the trip got cancelled anyway is this better now our happy little family is back together again happy little family enjoy your cruise HIC welcome hi welcome aboard hi my name is Devin Arnold Devin stupid thanck you stupid uh that makes me Bricker Adam Bricker doctor medical backup that’s very good excuse me Mr delin is that briefcase handcuff to your wrist that’s my job miss you arrest briefcases I I am an international

Courier really what’s in there I’m sorry but for security reasons I can’t say not even if you pulled out all of my fingernails I don’t think we want to know that badly sometimes it’s gold sometimes it’s diamonds sometimes it’s gold and diamond did someone just say gold and diamonds I

Didn’t hear anyone say that me either must be my ears playing tricks on me would you happen to have a light a light certainly you ever thought about giving up cigarettes have you ever thought of carrying your attache case like everyone else wait my name’s Arnold Arnold Devin

It was nice to meet you bye oh for this is really a good picture of the chef let me see oh yeah look at this she made him look 10 years younger and 20 lbs thinner but you see in the right hands of camera does lie I wish I could take pictures like

This but when I get behind the camera I just get intimidated it’s all in the approach especially with someone of the opposite sex and that is definitely someone of the opposite sex she looks unprop right oh yeah i’ say your chances there between slim and none

Nay this is my key to a new relationship look and learn Excuse Me Miss but the light is just right and the composition is perfect I’ve got to immortalize you on fil well I thought you’d never asked you’ll be my Mona Lisa plain old Lisa Lisa Baxter coincidence made in heaven but

You are hardly playing and I doubt you will ever look old Ashley cing to EV Ace for sure excuse me Ace dad wants to see you on the bridge deck with your camera thank you Vicky I hope you give rain checks for you even Sun checks in case it doesn’t right but Ace wait a minute congratulations Ace remind me if I’m ever wearing a hat again I much tip it to right do that approach will work for me with a man sure um but I wouldn’t tell him he’s going to be your Mona Lisa PR bet you’ve never even seen the

Mona Lisa no but I’ve read the Book You look so so good honey you’re so grown up well I am a year older having a job and being on my own help too is that why you didn’t come back because you wanted to be independent it’s because of Frank isn’t it is that the reason why you didn’t

Come back what makes you say that well sometimes a stepfather’s hard to accept especially since you loved your father so much yeah Dad was something special Frank could be too if you just give him a chance well he must have some good qualities after all I married him Mom I I really don’t

Sweetheart try to get to know him please I’ll try okay I made my way onto the Leo deck the life of an international Courier is lonely and dangerous I had to be on my guard every minute absolutely no one but be trust me at least I didn’t have to worry about

Anyone carrying concealed weapons wow hello there my name is Ellen do you remember me oh hi therea I mean hi there are you all alone well not exactly do you have that handcuff to your wrist for business or do you just misplace things a lots I am an international CER an

International cour I’d rather people didn’t know okay my lips are sealed the only way this this leaves my side as if someone saws my arm off does that happen often only twice and then you run out of arms I like you Arnold what does your

Evening look like uh a lot like my day but darker would you like to have dinner with me say around 8:00 oh come on I won’t bite you well I’m trying to withstand pain okay great then I’ll see you at 8 why was I falling for this doll it was

One of those questions you can’t answer like how did the ocean fall Overboard hi well the you ubiquitous cameraman ubiquitous let me guess high school English teacher from Chicago no a crossroad puzzle fan from De Moine okay uh where do you want me on my lap let’s take the picture first here we go H yeah yeah that’s that’s about it right there okay a do

You really think that’s the best angle oh sorry just watching a professional watching is fine but these are not Takis they’re silent films you know I think we could get a much better shot from the stairway Kim you know she might be Right okay okay we’ll do the old stairway shot maybe up just a little higher okay all right yeah a big smile that’s are you all right yeah yeah I’m fine hey you’re pretty lucky I don’t even think you broke your camera we better get you to a doctor you

May want to take an x-ray of that foot yeah and Kim can tell him where to stand when he takes it What are you doing in here I uh take it you’re not pleased to see me who let you in I told a Stuart I was your father stepfather we have to talk don’t touch me okay okay now calm down now look coming on this Cruise wasn’t my idea but I’m

Here now for your mother’s sake and you try to act a little friendly toward me like you acted friendly toward me last year I’m an affectionate man you you just misunderstood no I understood perfectly and so will my mother when I tell her about it what’s there to tell

You went looking for it you’re disgusting I should have told her the minute it happened but you didn’t and if you tell her now I’ll deny it I’ll swear that her sex poot little daughter came on to me and I had to fight her off get out of here

Okay but remember before you start playing any truth games your mother loves me and you wouldn’t want to make her unhappy no would you I really appreciate you guys stopping by to see me but I am fine honest I told them we could save the leg but they wanted to see for themselves I’m glad it was only a sprain me too Ace I’m sorry it’s all my fault you got that

Right it’s okay listen I’ll be up and dancing in no time I know you’re dedicated Ace but if you need more time take it Captain Captain’s orders don’t get up surprise just a little dinner for the ace who is shot down good the patient can use some nourishment and I got a

Feeling this is his favorite dish it’s time for us to go thank you I can’t stay long I’ll be back later so we can spend the whole evening together I’m going to do everything I can to make you feel better like having your own personal Nurse That’s What I Call one heck of a hospitalization plan good evening ladies and gentlemen it’s Japanese night in the coral dining room Sushi Sashimi tempura Saki and don’t worry if we don’t have your favorite we’ll send out for it Now let me see if I’ve got this straight after you paid off the damages that you caused on your job at the Crystal shop and selling vacuum cleaners didn’t work out you sold used cars for 2 weeks right my boss was a neat guy when he fired me

He gave me a great Buy in a 60 Chevy still love that car I think of it every morning when I’m running for the bus well and then well then this I figured that the qualities that made me a bad used car salesman honesty Integrity straightforwardness would make me a great

Courier I’ve got my fingers crossed for you Arnold thanks I really want this job I think it’s right for me I’m trustworthy I’m reliable and I have risk that just don’t come off let’s post her new career well dear we need some more saki well we certainly do uh wait uh

Waiter we could use another bottle of Saki but this time make it red you know it’s too bad about Ace’s ankle how’ it happen just the way you might expect he fell for a girl oh well who’s going to fill in for him sir while he’s laid up well I don’t

Know if that’ll be necessary you should only take a short time sir I could cover for Ace I mean it’s the least I could do for him and we worked together my first day on the ship remember sure do we almost had a lawsuit a little nervous besides those

Passengers look like they were happily married they were happily married Kim to other people Captain I know I can do this pleas sir I owe it to Ace okay Kim you’re acting photographer oh thank you oh I just love a captain that can make a snap decision have you noticed the other

Passenger staring at me you must be imagining things no no it’s true they’re wondering how I wound up with the two most beautiful women on this ship well that’s pretty obvious it’s your sheer animal magnitude maybe I should uh try to control it a little yes I tell you

Something else I think anyone uh would find it tough to figure out which one of you two is the mother I think the Sal hair is getting to them oh no I agree with Frank mom you and I could pass for sisters well if that’s true there’s a good reason

My husband keeps me young a thank You Kim are you sure you know what you’re doing he has lots of Photography books in this dark room oh that’s a good start yes and tomorrow I might get to read one excuse me Kim I borrow this for just a second I think I have a date with

Destiny wait a minute gopher you know less about photography than she does I need to know anything about photography as a says it’s all in the approach all right watch oh wow this light here is just right and this composition here is perfect and I would really love to

Immortalize you on film okay well I I I don’t know well no listen please don’t be shy all right I know what I’m doing all right oh oh wow your legs are great listen do you think that you could maybe just inch your dress up a little bit so

I could take a picture of those great legs you know little chees skape thank you very much thank you really my husband doesn’t like cheesecake okay uh well then I’ll just I’ll go see the chef and see if I can get you piece of blueberry P Nautilus good

Now which one of you two lovely ladies is going to dance with me oh I don’t feel like it right now Frank maybe Sandy I’m tired how’s the family reunion oh just fine Judy can you imagine a good-look guy like me can’t find a dance partner unless you’re interested is he that bad

A dancer why don’t you find out for yourself can you believe this my own wife throwing me at other women don’t talk about me while I’m gone I am the luckiest woman in the world are you and Frank really that happy I was talking about you it’s so good to have my daughter

Back again it feels good to me too Mom you know if I were a little younger maybe uh 2 weeks younger I could really go for you you flatter me sir you think I’m kidding don’t you well I hope so I had the impression you were a faithful husband oh I am that and a lot more I’d

Like to tell you all about it but in a more private place how about meeting me later H how about no now will you excuse me please Let’s see here little music come in hi hi how you feeling oh much better now that my night nurse is here what do you prescribe I thought a massage might do for start M I can’t wait for the finishers oh oh oh I just love to rub silk I just

Love to have my silk Rubbed AC boy hi Ace hi Ace doctor’s orders we’re here to keep our injured buddy company look at this guy he put on his silk pajamas just for us oh wow look at Ace we got books games candy flowers all this for you but I’m afraid we can’t stay very long oh hey

It’s a thought that counts I mean even if you guys could stay only 1 minute even 30 seconds I’d appreciate oh we can stay longer than that yeah we’re going to take turns so one of us will all we be here yeah uh where do you want us to

Put the chess game on the bed I won’t be using it for anything else good idea good Idea arold where did you learn to kiss like that well I had this job never mind I don’t think I want to know I wish falling for this Dame Hook Line and Sinker and those sinkers hurt your briefcase sorry arold I don’t know if you feel the

Same way but I really think we have a lot in common yeah the difference in our Heights we’re both not redheads look let’s go down to my cabin I can slip into something a little more comfortable while you slip out of that briefcase you mean that’s right Arnold

We need some rules here now if we’re going to continue this and I’d really love to Arnold you’re going to have to check your baggage you know I won’t do that Ellen then guess what else you won’t be doing you let this come between us when hasn’t it but it’s not just my

Job it’s my Integrity well I hope your integrity keeps you warm tonight you ruining my life I throw you overboard WN for one thing I can’t swim thank you for meeting me Mom I really needed to talk to you a it’s good to be needed again what’s on your mind well I

Really don’t know where to start tell well there you are you two I’m getting lonely is this uh on a girl talk or can a man listen in Frank would you mind if I spend a few more minutes alone with Sandy I don’t mind as soon as we get ready

This I almost forgot sweetheart we wanted to give you this so that you would know how happy we are to be with you again oh mother it’s beautiful thank you so much it’s beautiful really the watch is also from Frank yeah I deserve a kiss too H come on Sandy I’m going to my cabin now good night brother good night something is really bothering her I’ve got to find out what it Is for you early risers there is a cotton breakfast on the Leo deck for you late sleepers a breakfast buffet will be served on the Starlight Deck you know I have the feeling that I’m eating alone oh I’m sorry I think you should stop worrying about Sandy and let her solve her own problems without any help from Mama it’s just not like her you two haven’t had words have you no why I just

Keep thinking about her attitude toward you it’s normal to be a little resentful of a new stepfather but she has such animosity such hostility I know I don’t understand it either I’ve always tried to be nice to her Jud hi Irene Frank hi I must say you look as

Pretty in the morning as you do at night I guess that’s something that just goes with naturally beautiful women huh have you seen Sandy this morning well yes we had exercise class together maybe she went back to bed I hope she’s all right

Oh I’m sure she is but if I do see her I’ll tell her you’re looking for her thanks bye-bye what what a lovely girl yeah I like that Type I uh I brought this on the off chance you’d accept it well um I wrote a speech on the off chance you’d listen to it I’m really sorry I guess I just brought down the curtain a little early last night well there’s still time to catch a

MAA and perhaps a few curtain calls in fact why don’t you take me all the way to South America what well we could run away with what’s ever in that briefcase I mean there could be a million dollars in there a taxfree million just think

Brazil a man a woman son s and blood hounds and wanted posters I suppose well we could still spend the day together in manzia I’d love to but we have to be back by 9 tonight a gentleman is coming by to pick up the briefcase okay well what time is it now

It’s uh I’m no dummy I move the watch to the other hand it’s 9:30 well great that gives us about 12 hours to spend together come on let’s make the most of it okay ladies and gentlemen welcome to Sunny Mano with Mexico’s delightful surprises from its endless unsired

Beaches to its modern hotels with white domes minettes and archways that call back centuries of moish architectural tradition you’ll find every moment filling and exciting enjoy it all at the buzzer three two one no wonder I was a Swimmer it’s open hello a oh hi Captain go how the old pedal extremity ah it’s coming along why well Kim has replaced you temporarily and I’m afraid her work leaves a bit to be desired Kim is doing my job Captain I I think I can go back

To work no Ace not you’re completely healed or maybe sooner take care Ace we’ll see you again okay cap see you go hello hi hi hi Lisa listen we’ll talk later a I’m going into town to buy something very special to her for when I come visit my patient tonight oh See you later see you Later I should go back to work but first there is tonight Sandy hi Judy are you okay yeah fine no I’m not fine I wish I wasn’t an only child I could really use a big sister right now well I’m up for adoption it’s my stepfather you don’t like him much do you I hate him I despise him those are strong emotions

Well last summer just before I left home he no never mind you talk to your big sister remember well late one night he came into my bedroom and he tried you poor kid so when am I going to see what you bought in manzan later oh unless you think I

Should change into it right here oh hi uh take a look at these and tell me what you think Ace well looks like you were experimenting with light and shadows but you’re supposed to be taking pictures of people Kim I did look here’s somebody yeah yeah that’s a uh that’s a definite human

Being uh who is that gopher a close it’s Judy well they’re both crew members yeah maybe you can look at a few more of these for me and give me some suggestions a few I think I’ll go back to my cabin and change oh what about this one

Judy hi how you doing why you come over and join me I’m gazing at the Moon I’ve already seen it thank you you know I have the very distinct feeling that you’re trying to avoid me if I were you I would trust that feeling I’m glad we

Had this time to spend together mom Frank wanted to try his luck at the casino oh no what is it come on we’re grown-ups we don’t have to play games Mr Patton I am an officer of this ship and if there is one more incident I will request the captain prefer charges

Against you now do you understand Mom I never meant for you to find out this way so that’s what you were trying to warn me About we’ve locked the door and we’re all alone there’s nobody under the bed so it’s um safe to take it Off well I suppose I could take it off for 2 or 3 minutes or maybe four minutes a year they could shove food under our door what am I saying I can’t but on the other hand nobody likes a fanatic my Integrity how could I face myself wouldn’t you rather face Me I’m sorry you did that Arnold well what do you mean you’re sorry I’m an inspector for the courier company they sent me to see if you could be trusted and the Mexican client Senor Juan Miguel deim Orga Sanchez de Cas thei he doesn’t exist and there’s nothing in that

Briefcase the only thing you were protecting Arnold was your job took me a whole day to memorize that name well I hope there’s a pro Motion in this for you harnold please no no no you deserve it it’s not often you see a woman who’s willing to to sacrifice so

Much for her work I’m Sorry of all the cruise ships and all the world she had to walk in a mine shut up Hi you have fun tonight I missed you I didn’t do too great at the casino what’s wrong what happened how could you do a thing like that Sandy and I hold it hold it wait wait just a second whatever she told you is lie Sandy is telling you lies I never laid a

Hand on your daughter what all right I’ll tell you I I’ll tell you exactly what happened last summer your so-called innocent daughter came on to me you you think I wanted to touch a kid I I tried to fight her off but stop just stop it wasn’t my fault Irene you

You were out playing cards I had a couple of drinks I went to bed she came into my bedroom with hardly any clothes on and all and and threw herself at me you’re lying I’m not I know you’re lying besides Sandy never mentioned anything about

That what I was about to tell you that I saw you trying to force yourself on Judy by the way the casino is closed in Port and since we’re still in Port you you’ll have time to pack your things and get off the ship I never want to see you Again I don’t want a shot doc I hate shots really I’m feeling much better let me just get up and walk and I’ll show you no Ace no don’t try to be a hero come on Ace a big boy like you afraid of a little shot I gave you a sedative so

You could get some sleep and this is just an intramuscular anesthetic for pain haven’t you forgotten something Adam huh you didn’t give the man his lollipop we’re just lifting anchor ladies and gentlemen we’ve arranged to have all the bumps cleared in the ocean so you’ll have smooth sailing all the

Way back back to Los Angeles there’s plenty of ball me night left enjoy It I came to give you the briefcase back and to give you an apology well I was working on the wording of an apology myself my wording is easy I’m an idiot I shouldn’t have yelled at you at least you were doing your job yeah Hatchet job you don’t know how miserable I’ve

Been doing the company’s Dirty Work you were so loyal I wanted to kick you and on top of that they lied to you what they told you this case was empty I found these two suspicious looking objects I thought you’d like to examine them well you were right to bring this to my

Attention as a future ex employee I believe I am entitled to clean out my desk well what shall we drink to to the briefcase and the Burial at Sea what a great Idea you know when I was pretending to be crazy about you yeah well I’m not crazy and I wasn’t pretending and that’s all she wrote so now we can put the whole shebang to bed let’s go shebang I mean Ellen how could I have picked a man like that

What happened to you was all my fault oh no mother the only person to blame is Frank I just don’t know how I could have misjudged him well he happened along when you were at a very vulnerable time in your life you know there is a bright side

What bright side well now there’s no reason for me not to come home to live oh sweetheart oh that is a bright side I missed you oh I missed You On time come in come in whoever you are it’s locked I’ll be right There Hurry Up This is no time to keep a lady waiting I’m coming don’t Leave hi there on it a you poor baby you’ve had a relapse no I’m fine I’m fine look look see I’m in perfect Shape that makes two of us let me just uh hang this this up oh I can’t believe how relaxed I Am I Thank you for your support well that’s what adopted sisters are for and I hope you have nothing but happiness the rest of your life thanks Judy I’m sure that’s all there will be come on sweetheart bye goodbye bye the name is delin Ellen Dev well give us a week oh well

Congratulations off to look for another job well I’ve got one Arnold completed his assignment so well I’m recommending the company kick him upstairs to a supervisory position and the new job is going to be a little tough on Ellen how so well you thought the briefcase was

Inconvenient wait till I’m chained to a desk byebye goodbye Lisa you’re the best nurse I’ve ever had well I’m glad we finally found the right medicine if you could bottle that you’d win the Nobel Prize Huh oh this is perfect stay still what’s wrong with this thing Kim uh want to try the focus turn that little knob right there yeah sometimes it’s the automatic timer are you sure you have film in it well maybe you need a new battery no what it needs is the old

Photographer but he’s Busy Wait ah welcome aboard gentlemen would you tell him that he brought too much luggage how many times you going to say that once more you brought too much luggage will you just worry about your little bag of wash and wears uh do you need directions to your cabin if you

Could learn to coordinate your wardrobe you wouldn’t need all that luggage we listen to him a 100 years in the clothing business and he tells me I don’t know how to dress this is L tangle and his partner Stan Garmin better known as Mr drip dry well we always have a good

Acquainted cocktail party the first night if you haven’t met anyone by then oh well I hope I don’t have to come thank you oh oh I’m sorry I’m so sorry hello hello I just take the elevator one Deck Down enjoy the cruise thank you I think I’m

Beginning to enjoy it already well stop enjoying and just remember what you’re here for yeah he still have not decided which one isn’t coming back thank you Miss Kar hello I’m Jennifer Kar K oh sure this is Jennifer Kern any red blooded TV Watcher oh your arent admirer is pers Smith and I’m captain stubing welcome aboard Miss K oh please on this trip by Mrs whitlaw um has my husband arrived uh quit quit Lo not arrived no I was

Watching the show Wednesday okay it’s great but I was kind of wondering if if I survived the fiery train right fiery Train well it’s supposed to be a secret but oh there he is Tom Tom over here Jennifer Su delicious Captain stubing uh firster Smith this is my husband Tom whitla oh I’m delighted to see you in person how do you do you know your um your program is one of my favorite discussion shows does fascinating guests thank you we try to stimulate hold it got to get a

Picture of America’s favorite B Coastal Couple come on big smiles great thank you so I guess it’s uh tough living 3,000 Mi apart well believe me it isn’t easy but with me in New York and Jennifer and Hollywood we haven’t been together for more than a day at a time

On our six months of marriage well now we can change all that for you yes a whole crise to be alone together like a a normal married couple enjoy the cruise I’ll talk to the major D and see what I can do enjoy your cruise have a good time Bye-bye may I help you I’m sorry I I didn’t mean to stare it’s just that you’re such a lovely young lady thank you I hope I didn’t embarrass you well I’m sure you can embarrass her like that anytime uh my name is Mark Silverton welcome aboard I’m Judy McCoy

Vicky St nice to meet you that’s a prominade deck cabin 342 thank you thank You Earth to Vicki Earth to Vicky I Want a little exercise well that depends what did you have in mind a race back to the cabin no jogging H never miss a day jogging but that’s what you want you got it okay twice around the deck back to the cabin okay that’s what makes a good marriage

Compromise I don’t believe it you brought towels I mean people on vacation don’t bring towels they take them I like my own towels I know who used them last oh you’re worried about a few germs are you while back home the Schultz brothers are waiting to rearrange our faces how

Did I ever let you talk me into borrowing from lone sharks how else were we going to meet the payroll every Bank in the city turned us down well maybe you’re right a clothing business one little mistake and you’re down the drain I would say one big

Mistake oh we only missed it by year oh you missed by one year maybe we could AR raise hold it we have been over this until I am blue in the face now listen I know those lone sharks and you and I are going to be wearing cement shoes if we

Don’t pay them and the only way that we can pay them is for one of us to die pretend to die okay okay to pretend to die and then go live in South America want somebody to hear us we’ll get arrested hey guys Los Angeles Olympics

1985 that’s very funny oh yes well you wouldn’t think it was so funny if you had a whole Warehouse full of them listen let me get a picture okay you can come out now why hide such pretty faces huh will you just relax everything’s going to be fine how can everything be

Fine nothing is going to be fine it can’t be fine if one of us has to pretend to die and go off to South America nothing is going to be fine and what makes you think the insurance company is going to pay off so fast they

Have no choice if you are lost at sea all right we’re going to have to just draw straws oh the Short Straw Dies Come on come on come on think about the bright side other people who die do not hang around to spend their own insurance I hope your nose blisters hi Mr Silverton Becky I just came by to see how you were enjoying the cruise fine just fine thank you good here’s one

Thing though I’d have an even better time if you’d call me Mark okay Mark actually I lied your name’s not Mark I met about enjoying myself oh you’re not having a good time it’s no one’s fault you see I’ve sort of been in seclusion for a while and my friend

Suggested I should try to be around people more so here I am but I’m just a little rusty when it comes to having a good time listen do you like shuffle board I never tried it well it’s about time you learn and don’t worry I’ll go easy on

You okay you’ve got yourself a game and loser buys dinner dinner on the cruise is free I know that makes it easy to be a good Loser come on Vicki oh hi Judy oh listen if my father comes looking for me tell him I’m playing shuffleboard with Mark

Oh so it’s Mark now huh Uh-huh hello this he taken I hope so oh thank you thank you uh I’m L tangle I saw you at the boarding hello Harriet Walters and I remember well are you uh traveling alone oh I’m with my partner I’m in men’s clothing ah I certainly hope so otherwise I’d be very

Embarrassed that’s great funny well thank you for saving me a seat Mr tangle this is my partner St Garin and as you can tell by his voice he is a very pleasant personality hello hello would you excuse us my partner and I have a

Date to playge G I don’t want to play G yes you do I do not want to play yes you do it’s all right I really do have a few cards I’d like to get off well maybe maybe we can have a drink later oh I’d

Like that very much why don’t you give me a buzz uh Fiesta cabin 327 Cheers Cheers are you crazy the last thing we need right now is for some hot to trot lady to start singing torch songs to the insurance investigator you’re dying tomorrow remember I have forgot well

I’ll keep reminding you she’s very nice fine I’ll make sure that she gets a copy of your obituary Shut Up and Deal I’m sorry honey I should never have made you come jogging don’t you ever run only to catch a cab trouble with all this fresh air is it makes you tired

She put something in it well I have just the thing to perk you up Taada never seen you wear glasses before well I just started H just to put on makeup and stuff you actually read all those books you discuss on your show every single one makes me wish I interviewed more cartoonists I’ll finish it later oh no finish it now

We have all the time that we want besides seeing you like this really makes me feel like a wife and I’ll just make myself all comfy while my big strong husband finishes all the work that he brought home from the Office Tada I guess I’ll just hold this pose until you wake Up oh good dad I found you listen do you think it’d be all right if I had dinner with a friend tonight and before you ask his name is Mark why don’t you have him join us at my table thanks but Dad I know oh I know at

Your age I wouldn’t want my father tagging along on a date either oh thank you I knew you’d understand bye bye seems that Vicki has met a nice young man someone named Mark oh Mark you met him yes and he’s very nice and mature ladies and gentlemen a truly spectacular

Dinner await you in the coral dining room Bon [Applause] Petit so what would you like for your last meal uh-uh you better wave back before she comes over here I invited her to dinner you what that just calm down you’ll like her she’s a lot of fun I

Didn’t come here for fun I came here for your funeral isn’t your friend going to join us for dinner he prefers to die alone he is very strange eating habits now shall we be u a little naughty and start off with some champagne oh the naughtier the better this is the first leisurely

Dinner we’ve had in a long time could have been much more leisurely if we’ had it in the cabin I sir you’re making me blush great shot we’ll need two copies you got it you know I just talked to somebody I think might make a terrific guess on

Your show I’m on vacation Ace oh I’m sorry I understand but it might be somebody important who is it Dr zabor that is someone important where right up there well don’t stare go over and introduce yourself I can do it later honey it’s okay no I really shouldn’t our time

Together is much more important but if you insist excuse me excuse me sure Dr zor oh it’s a lady doctor a sex therapist well I hope he doesn’t fall asleep while he’s talking to Her why are you looking at me like that I’m sorry it’s just that you remind me of someone well is it is that good or bad good very good oh well I’m glad Vicki supposed to be having dinner with some young man tonight has anyone seen Them oh there she is he can’t be her date that man is twice her age oh I don’t think he is Sir no probably more [Applause] I’ll say one one thing Mr Garmin you don’t miss a dance watched everyone Mr Garmin why don’t you give it a try yeah partner seems to be having the time of his life yeah what’s left of it she is some terrific dancer she is wearing me out you were worn out years

Ago oh stop it I think he’s cute and she’s got good taste too excuse me I think I better go powder my nose she could be gone for hours I just stop cut out I really like her okay I’m sorry but just you remember those lone sharks you’ll have a hard time dancing

Without kneecaps all right all right partner I’m going through with it but if this is my last night as Li tangle I am going out in Style do all your interviews take as long as the one with Dr zabor Jennifer then again sex is a fascinating subject I said I was sorry he Sayes talking about sex isn’t as much fun well I wouldn’t know so far on this cruise we haven’t even talked about it want to go

Back to the cabin and talk about it see where it leads as long as you don’t fall asleep like you did this afternoon that was your fault for running me ragged around the ship remember I’m not in training for the boss marath and I’m not

The one who left his wife at the table so he could go talk to a sexy therapist that sex therapist and you wanted me to talk to her look I think we should stop parking Okay all right why don’t we hurry up and go back to the cabin okay but no jogging okay Mark Silverton I’d like you to meet my my father Captain stubing this is Dr Bricker and you know Judy and honor Captain Mr silon Dr Bricker how to

Do Judy hello Captain you have a lovely daughter thank you Vicki uh may I speak to you for a second please sure excuse us what’s up honey I thought you were going to be seeing a young man named Mark Dad I didn’t say he was young young I just said his name is

Mark is everything okay yeah I guess it is good see you later come on Mark nice to meet you bye Pleasure uh Marl would you like me to cut in no IAM thank you would you like me to have a little talk with you sir I don’t think a little talk will do It how about a big Talk Oh it’s been a wonderful night Lou I can’t believe it’s happening to me I feel like somebody sent me a live Valentine and why not you you’re a terrific guy funny I never thought of myself as being a terrific guy well maybe I am but before you I never had

Anybody be a terrific guy for that’s sweet Lou a sweet thought for me to sleep on well I guess I’d better turn in does it have to end now no there’s tomorrow and tomorrow night and lots of tomorrows after that oh you can’t tell oh come on now no pouting You really know how to put the good in good night I’ll see you at breakfast To qu a very sexy lady Tada come here you that was as good as the kiss in Chicago two weeks ago yeah and you remember what happened in Chicago two weeks ago uh-huh it last you alone no interrup ruptions no work some work your producer called Jed what did he want

Well he needed to know whether or not he could book Senator bla on your show and I said yes you said what I said it was okay I was just trying to help I mean he is a senator he’s a boore he’s been on every talk show in the

Country why was you asking you well he needed an immediate answer and you weren’t here and I happened to be your wife remember and that gives you the right to make my show a Haven for political hacks right well I didn’t know how you felt about

Him in fact I’m beginning to think that I don’t know how you feel about anything yeah well nor I you now look do me a favor just please stay out of my business okay I will and you can do me a favor stay out of my bed

It’s been so long since I felt this close to anyone I’m glad you feel that way you know you have a wonderful smile well you’re responsible for that I’ve been through the worst year of my life I was ready to give up completely now I’m here with you the night is

Beautiful the whole world seems a lot better thank you well I’m glad I could be here when you needed someone Mark I’ve never met a man like you Before good night Vicki good Night hi Vicky hi do you have a minute to talk a minute I could talk all night about Mark he does seem nice but you think maybe he’s just a little too mature for you well that’s what I like about him he’s so mature he’s sophisticated I know he makes you feel

Sophis iated too right makes you feel like a grownup it’s more than that he makes me feel like a woman I think I’m in love with Him Lou it is just a shipboard romance you don’t know what you’re talking about oh no well when this cruise is over and you are back on solid land neither one of you is going to remember the other one’s name I’m not listening to this and when

Those lone shars finish break dancing on your head you’re not even going to remember your own name forget we don’t have a problem anymore last night I came up with a solution what is it you drop dead and go to South America oh my partner the welcher I have

Always put the business first but not this time this morning I sent my lover a rose what but Lou I am going into the shower now Stan and when I come out I’m going to have breakfast with Harriet and I’m going to ask her to marry me

Happiness this is truly take your shower happiness I’m not going down the drain with You I’m really happy Maj happy very very happy so very very happy good morning ladies and gentlemen breakfast is now being served on the Starlight deck and she thinks she’s in love with him she is in love with him according to her feelings well I’m afraid she’s overly impressed with the attentions of

An older man well if the captain finds out it’s this involved old Mark isn’t going to get any old I just hope Mark realizes it’s an advanced case of puppy love I was planning to give this to you later but I think I’d like you to have

It now what is it something that means a great deal to me oh Mark it’s beautiful oh it’s so sweet and old fashioned looking just like you are sweet oldfashioned and Innocent thank you oh we Hur forever well if that’s puppy love our puppy has just become full Grown I’m sorry I messed things up last night not as much as I did well I guess we’re learning about each other yeah the hard way well there’s one thing I do know about you you take cream in your coffee no no no I don’t well you did two

Weeks ago when I saw you I gave up coffee last week you know it’s tough to keep track of this marriage without a scorecard well I’m sure there’s one thing you need the cabin H excuse me Mrs whitlaw everybody’s ready ready for what oh Tom I promised Ace that I’d go post for

Pictures with some of my fans it’ll just take a few minutes oh I’m afraid not uh just about everybody on the ship is dying to meet you H okay I’ll be right there couldn’t you do that a little later I have to be gracious I don’t want

To disappoint my fans bad you don’t mind disappointing your Husband hello haret good morning good morning uh aren’t you eating I’m waiting for Lou Lou oh he never eats breakfast Le not when he stumbles in at 4: in the morning how do you do it and stay so lovely 4 why we said good night around 11 well then who could L

With whoops St what are you not saying look I admire that little devil I really do as a matter of fact I view some of his lines myself oh yeah I meet a woman I say uh I can’t believe that this is happening to me it’s like someone sent me a live

Valentine well he said that to me but you didn’t fall for it you would be amazed how many women do oh really oh yes it works all the time and some of his moves are really CNY like that single rose bit well I think I’ve heard

Enough you can tell Lou that I have suddenly become allergic to Roses we are now entering enchanting aabo whatever your pleasure you’ll find it here beaches golf courses sight scene and glittery NightLight the info hi Miss K not going to KN no Tom went in alone ah ah anything wrong not anything just everything Tom and I don’t see each

Other for a week or two at a time he finds out that I wear glasses I learn that he atees jogging we don’t know anything about each other except the few hours that we spend together yeah but I bet you those hours that you spend together pretty wonderful

Right oh yeah like we’re dating you know the peak of romance well doesn’t sound like such a bad way to sail through life to me yeah but is it enough have you ever thought of moving to New York to be with him yes but the only thing I could do there

Is the stage but you’d be terrific on Broadway oh I’d be terrified on Broadway facing a live audience if I make a mistake I can’t do it over again I’m not sure I could handle it yeah but your husband would be there to help you you guys would be together

We’re not even together on this Cruise come in you wanted to see me Dad yes I understand you’ve received a gift an expensive gift for Mr Silverton Mark yes Mark news travels fast isn’t it beautiful it’s very pretty but why would he give a gift like that to you because he loves

Me did he tell you that well not exactly but I can tell okay I don’t want you to see him anymore he’s much too old for you I can’t believe you said that you always taught me that things like age and physical appearance didn’t make a difference when you love someone get to

Know from the inside first and then decide that’s what you always taught me yes I know I taught you that but this is different I don’t want you to get hurt this is different because you still want to treat me like a child I know you’re

Not a child anymore Dad I am in love with him I thought you’d be happy you’re not ready for a relationship like This look honey I know it’s hard for you to see but I don’t understand why Mr Silverton hasn’t seen it it’s Mark all right Mark but if you can’t see what I’m trying to tell you how I’m trying to help You perhaps I better have a discussion with Mark I am not a child I’ll discuss it with Mark Myself Harriet sweetheart where you been off by myself like I was at breakfast oh I’m sorry you know what happened I took a shower and then when I came out all the towels were gone and I couldn’t dry off I had a roll on the sheets I hear you’re very good at

That she isn’t very good there who’s been talking Hi Vicki great lemonade you want one no thanks something wrong it’s my father he wants to see you he wants to talk to you well that’s fine I enjoy talking to him I should have done it earlier I’m sure we have a lot in common he doesn’t think

So he thinks it’s wrong what’s wrong us that we’re falling in love falling in love where would he get such an idea but we are I’m in love with you and you said all those beautiful things to me and you gave me this pendant but I didn’t give you that

Because I’m in love with you I mean I I do love you not that way I was going to give it to my Daughter your your daughter for her 18th birthday she died in an accident the week before you remind me of her your sweetness your smile your innocence your gentleness for a long time I felt as though I died with her you helped bring me back to life I have been such a fool Vicki

Vicki Lou Lou man disappears all day and now he’s writing me notes dear partner and friend goodbye and good luck I’ve lost the first true love in my life I won’t boore you with all the ugly details but you had nothing to do with it all I can say is where I’m

Going they cut white goods year round no no what did I do and he was thinking of me right to the end oh Lou My Lou Did you tell him you weren’t going to see him anymore no Vicki I told you to tell him it was over why didn’t you I didn’t have to he told me there never was anything to be over honey what happened Daddy I made a fool of myself I told him I loved him and knew he loved me

And well he didn’t feel that way at all I reminded him of his daughter who was killed in an Accident poor man the worst part about it was I didn’t even tell him how sorry I felt to B’s daughter all I could think of was myself and had to get away from him once I found out he didn’t love me sweetheart you can go back and tell

Him that Daddy I can’t see him now I told you I made a fool of myself there are many ways we make fools of ourselves in this life but the most knowable Way by telling someone you love Him I love you and I love you I want so desperately for our marriage to work it will I called my agent today I told him to have me killed what in this year’s final episode I’m going to live with you in New York you can’t

I can I just caed Jed and told him we’re moving my show to Los Angeles but you always said your show would die in Los Angeles and you said you would never survive the Broadway stage well how do you like that we’re still on opposite coast and we’re each on the wrong One ladies and gentlemen we know you’ve had a fabulous time in aapo and we’re sure you’ll have an equally as enjoyable time on our trip back to Los Angeles until then bu Noes Mark Vicki I’ve been thinking about you about what a silly little girl I am no but how nice you are and how sorry I am that I hurt you you didn’t hurt me me I hurt myself I saw something I wanted up on the top shelf and when I reached up to

Grab it I realized that I wasn’t as tall as I thought I was and everything came tumbling down around us I should have sensed what was happening we’re talking about me again the reason I came is I want you to know how sorry I am about your daughter

I want you to know that thank you Vicky and to give you This I’d like you to keep it if you will I gave it to you because you remind me of her and the more I get to know you the more you remind me of her I only if you want it I do here he was a good partner loyal

Everyone everyone in the business liked him and I crushed his one chance for happiness that’s right you did I’m so selfish and pigheaded I should have agreed to go to South America myself it’s not too late oh yes it is no it isn’t don’t argue with me I know Lou oh why you

Phony where have you been I looked all over for you I have been hiding in the lifebo watching you squirm how were the sandwiches they look terrific just the way I like them light on the ma so you were in on this uhhuh well I was looking out for

Your best interest from now on I am looking out for myself uh uh uh uh uh uh we are looking out for yourself congratulations just be sure to send me an invitation to the wedding general delivery somewhere in the Amazon Dan I mean I have a lot of time to think in

That Lifeboat and I just don’t want to go through life with an insurance fraud on my conscience and I don’t want to run the business business alone who would I argue with well there’s always me now we’ve been through a lot together and we’ll get through this you’ll see how

Tell them well it just so happens that my brother-in-law owns a chain of T-shirt stores now I think that your Olympics 1985 t-shirt is absolutely Sensational no see we’re going to make a fortune with our mistake it’s a great idea and the way you make mistakes we

Can make another fortune in the very near future [Applause] Right well I hope you enjoyed your cruise as much as we enjoyed having you oh we loved it not only that we found a new partner hey that’s great I always wanted a new partner but I’m still stuck with him anyway shut up byebye bye bye-bye we’re going to be watching TV

For both of you and we want you to come back and sale with us real soon okay well we plan on doing it every year on our anniversary all right hopefully together Hey Hey listen have the two of you ever thought of moving to Denver it’s sort of in the

Middle Mr and Mrs whitler I’m sorry uh there was a problem in the lab and I was only able to come up with one print for the two of You no problem one for you and one for me see you later goodbye Vicki goodbye Mark Captain I’m only sorry we couldn’t spend more time together proud fathers have a common Bond yes we do as a matter of fact when Vicki asked me what I thought about the gift you gave her I

Told her that she’d probably never receive anything more meaningful thank you Vicky someday someone will come into your life and give you a wonderful gift himself and he’ll be the luckiest man in the world because he has you bye-bye bye-bye Bye excuse me could you you tell us who to see about Kevin oh certainly uh right over here thank you first Smith would be very happy to assist you be my pleasure Mr Mills are you two traveling together yes oh I’m Robin Mills he’s my dad oh he only looks young because he’s

Found the Fountain of Youth he sure has you don’t look old enough to be her father well I adopted Robin when I was 10 it’s not easy being brought up by your daughter oh I’ll be glad when I get you married and out of the house enjoy

Thank you I will oh miss pel uh prominade 347 is just pass flower shopping to your right prominade mhm um is that the single sck I’m traveling alone well I don’t think you’ll be traveling alone for long I hope you’re right happy sailing put that on your Christmas list

And I’ll see what I can do for you beautiful okay I’ll deliver this to you personally miss m you know I don’t mind if you take a little longer with your shots I don’t blame you captain Oh Ace yeah here’s the passenger list you wanted oh great thanks Vicky

Now I can keep track of the passengers and the pictures okay let’s see uh Maguire Maguire here it is Fiesta 222 boarding shot with Captain magnam no no I believe it was Maguire no not her mcnamer Stacy Louise Stacy an old friend friend we were like this in college actually we were

Uh go on no it’s not important Stacy Louise mamare I still have her sorority pin you know I sent her more flowers study sweethearts yeah but I usually sent the flowers to the infirmary she was a real Daredevil you know surfing skydiving having water skiing she was

Always getting bruised and banged up you know our school colors were red and yellow hers were black and blue a Stacy hi hi see when I tell you regular Calamity Jan thanks very much I’m fine I’m captain stubing Miss mamara oh how do you

Do oh Ace it’s so good to see you a so good to see you well I’ll leave you two alone to get reacquainted thanks Kevin thanks a lot all don’t believe it okay what did you do now well you remember that hole in the wall at the bottom of

Snow Canyon ski run there’s no hole in that wall well there is now I don’t believe it I know I know hi I’m uh Marty Clem and this is my wife Kate hi welcome aboard I’m jeny McCoy the cruise director I’m Adam Bricker ship do oh good we may need you

What for we both sworn to quit smoking yeah you tap our mouth shut I’m sorry I don’t make mouth calls well we’re not taking any chances we’ve made a bet the first one who starts smoking has to do all the housework and the cooking for 6 months

Right this is my chance to get her to do it well best of luck to the both of you thanks well we better get to it Okay that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would Be aha uh that’s funny uh the jacket must have come back from the cleaners like that uh excuse me may I see what’s in your left hand just as I thought come in hi Dad bu hey nice cabin oh let me help you with that oh no don’t

Hang those up I’m going to wear those oh okay oh wow they go great with this sweater thank you I never could dress myself oh well maybe you ought to get that girl to give you a hand the one who gave you the eye and the purser’s lobby

You thought so too uh-huh you know it’s a shame I’m too old for her she didn’t seem to think so I’ve got a daughter almost her age she doesn’t know that hey what if father had no daughter a robin please no really Dad we could pretend not to be father and daughter

For a few days for Father’s sake your pretend game sometimes get me into trouble well at least you’re never bored come on dad it’ll be fun what about the Purser and the chief Barman they know who we are oh well leave that to me I’ll

Fix it why is it every time you fix something something else ends up broken all right I’ll do it oh great have a wonderful Cruise stranger [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] Hi Mr Kil fingers are better than cigarettes need salt it’s hard to quit smoking isn’t it no I’m nervous I’m I’m irritable I’m I’m angry my mouth feels like a desert I don’t know what to do with my hands it’s a breeze but you are doing it every

Minute without a cigarette helps how long has it been uh I gave him up when I bought it 10 years ago read this it might help quit smoking now yeah and the crew says to tell you they are behind you all the way 100% 100% you know I thought you were supposed to SA money when you stop smoking yeah at least a dollar a day big deal sple 1250 on gum what’s that uh doc gave it to me he a quick smoking pamphlet this is very interesting it says here that the first

24 hours are the hardest cuz you’re breaking up an addictive habit see we were addicts we should feel terrific now that we’ve stopped yeah if we feel so terrific how come I feel so lousy speak for yourself honey I am having no problems at all uh need a

Light I bet you think I’m hooked don’t you you watch I won’t have another celery all Day hi hi can I give you a hand oh no thanks my hand works just fine how do you do how do you do it sure does my name is Isaac Washington Stacy MC well Stacy would you like something cool to drink say like a rum punch well I’ll take the punch but

Hold the r I’m driving and this is a rental well I hope you’re not paying by the mile cuz we’re going all the way to Mexico oh hi Captain Stacy seems to be a delightful young lady yes and she’s got a great sense of humor why don’t you ask

Her to join us at my table tonight gopher’s jokes are getting a little stale yes sir hey Stacy Isaac oh hi Ace have you got time to show me around the ship oh for you I’ll make time huh all right here we go yeah I can do that oh I’m just trying

To help oh hey don’t let the wheelchair fool you you’d be amazed at some of the things I can Do oh look I guess I wasn’t paying attention well not to the pool anyway I’m sorry dpy Stuart Mills Alison pcel well hey you saved my life the Indians say if you save a man’s life he owes you a drink so what’ll it be Margarita sounds good oh and get one for

Yourself in case you ever saved my life hi hi Vicki how am I doing well I knew you wouldn’t be alone for long do you give lessons have fun bye two margaritas please ah coming right up hey Dad how’s it going Pardon Me Miss oh it’s okay you can drop the

ACT I told Isaac and go for what we’re up to Mom’s the world right on well her name is Allison and I think I’m doing okay well why don’t you go back to Allison and I’ll deliver the drinks over there well thank you bye looks like your friend’s doing just

Fine of course he is taught him everything he knows yeah uh who is it yeah who Is attention please main seating dinner is now being served in the coral dining oh just pile on high we got plenty of room here come on in hi is all of this part of the no smoking campaign or did you also start a new nutrition program according to this pamphlet

Smoking is a form of oral gratification just like eating so we figure the more we eat the less we’ll feel the urge to smoke well this should take care of your urge for the rest of this Century at least yeah with all this wonderful food here we haven’t even thought about

Smoking oh that’s terrific he we got smoked trout smoked oyers we got smoked turkey smoked ham and a little bit of smoked cheese turn out the tee and how about this for dinner tonight a small intimate table for two followed by Pearls of caviar followed by lots of

Love talk fine now what are you going to have I want to see my father first will you excuse me okay start the Love talk at you you look very handsome tonight go thank you my darling you have excellent taste would you like to sit down down no

I’ll all right baby I’ll sit down myself where’s your friend Alison she’ll be here any minute where’s goer at the table waiting for me good here comes aliceon consider me scrammed who’s that girl I saw you talking with uh she was just someone looking for a

Table well didn’t I see you talking with her earlier by the pool oh no no that was the purer she was just with him as a matter of fact you’re having dinner right now hey you look beautiful thank you and you must be older than you look

Most men don’t bother pulling out chairs for women anymore well um I’m not most men or hadn’t you noticed I have noticed I’m grateful there’s something very genuine about you oh thank you I think most people try to be not in my experience you’d be surprised how many men can’t be trusted to

Honesty to honest and uh good intentions and on her very first Skydive Stacy landed right in the middle of the target Circle uhhuh unfortunately there was another jumper there and we both ended up with a concussion listen you have a live until you Tred to freef fall it’s

Great it’s a good name for it freef fall you couldn’t pay me to do it said this St she’ll try anything she even surfs oh now that is something I would love to learn well I will explain to you my secret technique including how to dislocate your shoulder oh too bad they

Don’t award purple hearts to civilians yeah you ought to see her ski she’s a real hot doger somersaults back flips that’s how she ended up in this hit the wall at snow Snow Canyon oh well aside from the accident Snow Canyon must have been great this season well I wouldn’t know about that

This happened 4 years Ago Oh can’t we stop dancing my feet to killing me but the pamphlet says that physical activity like dancing will help us forget forget what smoking see I already forgot let’s sit down here you know I didn’t know you like cooking and housework so much much huh well if you

Sit down you’re going to want cocktail ni cigarette and then I’m going to win the bet uh pardon me Madame would you care to Suare but of Course I can’t get used to seeing her in that wheelchair old friends aren’t supposed to change they’re supposed to stay the same as they are in our memories how do I talk to her what do I say say how happy you are to be with her

That is if you are sounds like a good start to me I hope I’m not dancing too oldfashioned for you no I like oldfashioned dancing that way you can hold the other person close I hope it never goes out of style you think it’s too soon for me to feel uh so attracted to you actually I think you’re kind of slow I was

Attracted the first moment I saw You what are your plans later mhm the ship’s on fire uh-huh going to jump over the rail and and go skinny dipping mhm what I’m sorry I guess I wasn’t paying much attention this is the first time I’ve seen my father in action well later

Will be the first time you get to see your purer in Action Stacy you all right seeing all those people dancing think I missed that most of all hard to believe you were such a lousy dancer thanks a lot I was about to indulge in a little self-pity oh we can’t have any of that thanks for the Roses you’re

Welcome you know I thought about you a lot after college I almost called you several times I wish you had thought you’d be married by now well I almost was I um broke off my engagement a couple of months ago oh did uh oh please no questions Stacy close your

Eyes why Just Close Your Eyes please okay I get scared in my own dark room so tell me when I can open them all right okay just a minute now hurry up all right now don’t peek I’m not quite ready you’re still crazy okay ready well how’d I look you

Look you look like my Stacy that was the [Laughter] Plan Feel like we’re the last couple in a dance Marathon can’t we stop dancing both my legs have cramps in them from smoking too much it’s from dancing too much oh cramps are good for you pain is good for you I mean in 6 months from now without smoking think how healthy you’ll

Be yeah if I live through the dancing what are you doing I’m inhaling the band’s playing Smoke Gets In Your Eyes no no no Mr Kilmer I don’t want to dance the band is leaving what a shame we have to stop dancing thanks from the bottom of my heart come on where we going to the cabin I just thought of another physical activity we can do something that’ll get you off your Feet is the coast clear it is right now but I’m expecting Alison any minute oh great then fill me in quick I’ve got to get back to go for two well there’s not much to tell but if that Moon stays right where it is I

Think I’ll have a full report for you in the morning that’s my pop you think I look a little uh younger in the Moonlight no just a little handsomer look you better scoot I think Allison’s getting suspicious of us bumping into each other all the time all right

Okay you’re still my favorite man I love You Get come here Gorgeous I thought you would be tired after all that dancing no I just needed something to keep my lips busy the pamphlet was right everything does taste better stop we can’t why not well you know what happens when we start kissing I was kind of counting on that well you

Know what happens after that yeah I fall asleep yeah well I stay awake and have a cigarette and I’ll go crazy if I can’t that’s ridiculous do you mean to tell me you’re going to avoid sex for the rest of our lives well at least we’ll live longer what For There you Go well here we are all safe and sound you know what I was thinking no what were you thinking do you remember that night that you sneaked into my dorm room do I remember yeah I was scared out of my wits that the house mother was

Going to catch me ah but she didn’t but I did yeah well uh there you go night Stacy wait a minute where are you going I mean there’s not a house mother in sight aren’t you going to help me get undressed oh I’m I’m sorry I didn’t know you needed

Help who said anything about need need uh I can’t you see I’ve got to develop some film that has to be ready first thing in the morning H there you go Stacy it’s not that I don’t it’s okay I understand thanks for a lovely evening Yeah hi what happened to you last night I waited but you didn’t come back oh I came back but you were busy I didn’t want to break up anything well look Allison I can explain that I’m sure you can but I’m not interested but the girl I was with Robin that’s my

Daughter your daughter I’d expect you to come up with a more creative line than that one morning do I detect a Lover’s spat to start the day well my day may be ending before it starts Allison saw me last night with Robin now she doesn’t believe Robin’s my

Daughter why is it the women always have trouble believing the truth H well maybe we men don’t tell it enough I Don’t thanks Adam sure hey ace good morning a hi Ace morning where’s Stacy she probably ate already oh no she didn’t I’ve been here all morning Isaac may I have a cup of coffee please you go sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry a you and Stacy Stacy and I what’s the matter with everybody

Why are we the hot new couple all of a sudden Ace we’re your friends remember sorry Do you believe those two they cannot stop eating that’s because they’re trying so hard to give up smoking but no matter how difficult it is the smartest thing they’ll ever do I was even smarter I gave it up before I Started do you realize we spent our entire highest savings on this cruise and what for all we do every day is sit around not smoking it’s ruining everything even our sex slice I need some coffee ooh that sounds sexy go ahead have some coffee then you

Want a cigarette to go with it you know it’s going to be such fun having you wait on me hand and foot for 6 months okay forget it great Cruise great cruise I give up everything smoking coffee sex well one of them was never a habit with you

Anyway yeah dad let me get this straight you told her the truth that I your daughter she didn’t believe you not for a minute all these games we’ve been playing I can’t say that I blame her she have such an honest face yeah face with

Egg all over it sorry Dad I got you into this mess somehow I’ll straighten it out I think you’ve done enough straightening out for one trip yeah but Dad what I said enough besides it doesn’t make any difference I’m too old for her Anyway good morning Ace morning my we’re in a dark mood this morning oh I hate unfinished sentences come on you’re amazing I mean you are really amazing I acted like a jackass last night I walked out on you here you are acting like nothing ever happened would you feel better if I

Yelled at you maybe I would at least I’d know how you feel Stacy I’m so sorry Ace it’s okay forget it no you see it it’s not that Ace I understand you just can’t handle it I’m sorry but what you see is what you get so you see Stuart and Robin didn’t

Mean to hurt anybody they just did this because he was attracted to you did steuart send you to tell me that no this was my own idea they both feel terrible about this maybe I was too harsh with him but only because my last relationship was a

Network of eyes and I swore that I’d never go through that again oh come on Stuart’s not that kind of guy no he isn’t he impressed me as being very sincere Robin hello we were just talking about you and your father my father oh well don’t tell me you fell for that too

I’m not st’s daughter I’m his mistress his mistress yes I have been for years I thought I was losing him to you but well whatever happened between the two of of you we’re back together again thank you he is the most exciting man I’ve ever known that’s the man I called Sincere thank you I don’t know what to do about Captain I mean I know I’m not handling it very well oh why don’t you talk to Stacy and tell her how you feel I would but I don’t know how I feel I mean part of me is deeply attracted to

Her and part of me can’t get used to seeing her in that a chair that’s understandable it’s a big adjustment Kevin you log those for me please Captain you should have known her when she was in college I mean she had everything going for her and now now she’s disabled

Ace what do you want from Stacy I don’t know I think you do I want her to be like she was well I’m showing a lot of way she still is Stacy is a vibrant delightful young woman I’m sure she deserves a man who will love her the way she is not remind

Her of what she was this might be the time for you to ask yourself if you’re that man and what if I’m not what does it make me honest Way de ladies and gentlemen welcome to PTO where you can enjoy everything from Paris to Charming restaurants and shops which light its cobblestone streets whatever you like you’ll find it here in fascinating Port of yarden Stacy wait I have to talk to you I’m on

My way into town good I’ll go with you no you won’t I don’t need your help Stacy I am not trying to help you I’m trying to love you Ace please Stacy I just I don’t want your charity it’s not charity look last last night I was confused about a lot of

Things now I’m not I want you like this I don’t care about the chair I care about you you’re beautiful you’re sexy you’re really serious aren’t you come with me and I’ll show you how serious I’m really confused look I need some time to think alone

I’ll talk to you when I get back Okay uh let me do that for you I I just like to make sure they’re really out I’m a Fireman yeah and this shop is supposed to be great oh I love my she is my favorite you know oh give me a light I heard that you asked for a light and that’s exactly what the man gave me I didn’t realize I had to give up fear too well we are

Going into town care to join us no no but just make sure this one doesn’t smoke Marty you’re on fire are you all right uh yeah I’m fine and thanks for saving me from smoking and losing the bet give me a bourbon and stain Remover I’d like to apologize don’t apologize to me apologize to Robin you’re a liar and a cheat and a two-timer and not only did you treat me badly but how could you be so mean to Rob mean to Robin you got to be kidding me we have a very good relationship she

Gets everything she needs and wants you can’t buy people you played me for a fool you played Gopher for a fool and worst of all you played Robin for a fool and she loves you so that was from all three of us oh Rin what have you done now [Applause] right I just don’t know what I’m going to do when I go off duty I’ve received so many tempting offers I had the same problem I’m going to wash my hair too hi I’m looking for the lost and found well you found it I misplaced a

Ring that I bought in town and I was wondering if someone might have turned it in is it inscribed to uh honey buns ah yes I’m afraid so we weren’t prying we were just looking for identification oh that’s okay it’s well it’s kind of a personal joke no

Explanation necessary you looking at two girls who are going to wash their hair tonight well thanks very much bye-bye lat honey Benz it’s a good name for Ace sure does fit attention please we will depart PTO Barta in 20 minutes we hope you enjoyed your stay what’s Good Captain Dr Bricker yes have either of you seen my husband while he was in the Neptune bar a while ago Isaac said he chewed up all the straws well he’s trying anything he can to find a substitute for cigarettes don’t worry I never heard of anyone getting hooked on

Straws how are you doing okay neither of us is smoked yet but Marty’s ready to go back to it Marty I think he went back too far Marty what on Earth are you doing it’s a pacifier the pamphlet says some people have trouble quitting cuz their oral needs weren’t satisfied as a baby

Did it help yes and no I still want to smoke but I haven’t cried for an hour And you were so worried about being too old for her well I thought if I pretended to be your mistress that you’d seem younger and more vital to her no I’m sorry Dad oh Robin don’t feel so bad the age problem is mine not Alice’s I shouldn’t have gone along with this

Crazy scheme in the first place I knew it wasn’t going to work h I think I learned my lesson too no matter what I tell goph for now he’ll think it’s a lie well we came on this cruise to spend some time together looks like we’re getting our wish

Huh do you think they’re really father and daughter sure with all the stunts that Robin pull she’d be thrown out of the mistress Union still miss that little liar though I miss that big liar not for long Alison wait please this is my daughter Robert she was trying to make you

Jealous just to get us back together again sometimes I do dumb things sometimes okay A lot of times most times but I’d do them again if it would help my dad Robert please if you want to help me don’t help me he must be a wonderful man to have a

Daughter that loves you that much I just wish we could start all over again let’s try I am steuart Mills this is my my daughter Robin I’m goer Smith and uh I’m Alison purcel his sister right we all have a drink good idea ladies and gentlemen we are now

Leaving PTO Barda and heading for Los Angeles and it looks like Smooth Sailing all the Way we can’t go on like this you know how much I need you how much I want you to feel your touch to feel you on my lips I’m going over the Edge better a smoker than a rubber Room I’m an addict I admit it Marty no don’t do it don’t try to stop me I’ll pay up you win the bet I don’t care about the bet I’ll do the housework and the dishes just don’t smoke that now you’re you’re fighting dirty I will fight anyway I have to

Honey I love you and I want you around for a long time with me Marty we can kick this thing together I don’t think I can look I was reading the pamphlet and it says if all else fails and someone is desperate for a cigarette do this the pamphlet say that what’s the

Difference we could stay like this forever I could think of worse CES I’ll kiss to That ah how’s this oh fun you know if it gets too chilly out here we could go back to your cabin start where we left off last night you me no house mother I have something to tell you we can talk later no don’t please I thought that’s what you wanted

I did and I didn’t how’s that Ace I’m engaged engaged yes I love him very much well you excuse me if I have a hard time following you look I’m not proud of myself for doing this but I couldn’t marry Jeff if I thought he was doing it out of

Pity I had to prove to myself that I was still a woman still attractive to men so so you needed some romantic guinea pig so you looked up Ace well thank you Ace look I I can’t ask you to forgive me but maybe in time you’ll understand Jeff huh nice guy yes

Well I hope the two of you will be very happy do you really mean that not entirely but I’m working on [Applause] it It was a wonderful Cruise goer yeah I’d say it was interesting it’s first time I’ve ever competed for a girl with her father well at least we had fun after everything got straightened out yeah I was kind of hoping you’d come up with some wild ideas oh well I’m saving those

Until I know you better over thank you well we haven’t seen you two in quite a while but we have been getting better acquainted well I guess your age doesn’t make a difference after all I think you’ll have to ask Alison come on let’s go Junior it was a wonderful cruise and a

Great success story uh you did kick the habit of smoking this is we think we’ll write our own pamphlet I guess you didn’t read the surgeon general’s latest report that kissing can be dangerous to your health oh that’s true cuz if I ever catch a kissing any body else I’ll kill

Her thank you so much bye-bye bye-bye thank you all for making this trip so wonderful I’ll never forget it and we’ll never forget you Stacy good luck thanks is someone meeting you uh yes I called my fiance Jeff he’s waiting for me well tell him for me he’s a lucky

Guy oh I think I’m the lucky one to have found a guy like him and a friend like you thank you

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