We all need different things when it comes to making decisions in our lives: as big as where to go to college and as little as what sweet treat we’re feeling for the night. Especially as a potential new member navigating sorority recruitment, having the right support system or outlets to consider your options will give you the confidence, validation, and trust in yourself that you need to find your lifelong sisterhood! While some of us are more prone to sharing our daily experiences with anyone who will listen, others of us keep more things close to our chest. Regardless of your processing preferences, I believe we all need an outlet through sorority recruitment that will protect the process for others and provide needed perspective. So let’s talk about your available support systems as an external or internal processor:
As a fellow external processor, I know how weighty uncertainty can feel – you just want to get it out of your body by talking it through with the closest trusted listener. It’s especially important as a potential new member to be intentional about WHO you process with to ensure that you aren’t getting misleading advice OR impacting another’s sorority journey with your personal feelings about a chapter or experience. Here are a few great outlets to verbally reflect on your experience with and validate your feelings through the process to help you arrive at the best course of action:
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Recruitment Counselor: Your recruitment counselor applied, were appointed, and TRAINED for the very purpose of mentoring you through your recruitment journey. I cannot think of anyone more equipped with the campus specific insight for chapters on your campus to advise and support you through each round’s reflections. While they may not know YOU very well yet, feel free to share more about yourself, your background, and what you’re looking for, in addition to your impression with different chapters / the experience overall that is impacting your interesting in joining a certain sisterhood / the community at large.
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Friend from home / unbiased family member: People who know you well outside of the campus environment can also serve as great sounding boards! Some of your friends from home can help ask intentional questions to help you think through how you really feel and what you need without knowing the details of the process itself.
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Shoot a support person a quick text after each event with the name of a recruiter you talked to, what you talked about, and how you felt leaving to trigger your memory about your experience later on when you talk to them over the phone or for your personal reference talking to your recruitment counselor or making decisions before preferencing.
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Caution: for family members or friends who are current / past members of a sorority, ask them to help you make the best decision for your sorority journey without inserting any bias from their own experience!
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While as internal processor, you may not feel as naturally prone to walk through your feelings and emotions with others for validation or in help making a decision. But, you still need to set aside time to reflect on how you felt, where you see yourself belonging, and check-in with what you need throughout the process. It’s also important to note, that even though you don’t need to talk through your experience with others, who you do talk to about your experience matters. Keep your strong opinions about chapters out of conversations with fellow potential new members to prevent them from altering their perspective of a chapter based on your experience. Even with recruitment counselors, you can be more honest but I’d urge you to be respectful & polite as you never know what chapter they belong to or the close friends they have on campus in other chapters.
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Take notes after each event
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Writing dow a few quick impressionable experience right after each recruitment event such as recruiters you talked to, what you talked about, and how you felt leaving will trigger your memory later to be able to make recruitment decisions.
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Journal at the end of each day
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Take a walk, long shower, listen to music
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Do something that activates different senses! Whether exercising, practicing some self care, eating a favorite meal, or turning to your favorite album at the time, give yourself space to think about the bigger picture and get out of the weeds of the process.
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Check in with your recruitment counselor
