I finally realized I was in a sorority the second semester of my Vice Presidency. Of course, I was already a member of Sigma Sigma Sigma on paper and to those around me—but it truly did not hit me that I was a “sorority woman” until about two years in and my misconstrued definition of that term was irrevocably challenged.
Yes, I was intentionally and heavily involved in my chapter, serving as Vice President of Operations, Fundraising Chair and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Chair during my three active years in Sigma Sigma Sigma (along with other informal positions). Yes, I was a leader and a representative of my chapter at Virginia Commonwealth University fraternity/sorority events and philanthropy activities, as well as other campus engagements. And yes, I got many questions from my own family asking what a sorority even was—further evidence it was not originally on my radar. However, in my journey to this realization, it came down to replacing expectations with the reality of what being involved with the Epsilon Sigma Chapter of Tri Sigma truly was to me.
Media and pop culture traditionally paint fraternity/sorority life and the typical “sorority girl” in a very particular way. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with the petite, white, blonde, women from the south you typically see depicted, that is simply is not my story.
I am the exact opposite of this Hollywood-appointed mold—a curvier woman of color with dark, textured hair who originally looked at fraternity/sorority life as a way to buy the company you keep. Yet, after stepping foot on VCU’s campus in the fall of 2019, I was awarded a contrasting perspective, and I realized there was space for me, too. Being a sorority woman in the last five years compared to 1898—or even 20 years ago, for that matter—is drastically different. If you ask an American in 2023 to define who
today’s sorority woman is, you’ll receive a diverse array of answers from every corner of the country. But, to define is to confine, as equally as it is to specify. The humanity of an organization like Tri Sigma comes from each of our personal experiences.
I am the exact opposite of this Hollywood-appointed mold—a curvier woman of color with dark, textured hair who originally looked at fraternity/sorority life as a way to buy the company you keep. Yet, after stepping foot on VCU’s campus in the fall of 2019, I was awarded a contrasting perspective, and I realized there was space for me, too. Being a sorority woman in the last five years compared to 1898—or even 20 years ago, for that matter—is drastically different. If you ask an American in 2023 to define who today’s sorority woman is, you’ll receive a diverse array of answers from every corner of the country. But, to define is to confine, as equally as it is to specify. The humanity of an organization like Tri Sigma comes from each of our personal experiences.
Today’s sorority woman is a culmination of the years of work and dedication by those in our community of well-rounded individuals and is heavily influenced by societal changes. With this in mind, I am the perfect representation of today’s sorority woman.
I can generally categorize my time as a collegiate Sigma sorority woman in four overarching seasons—the perspective-altering pre-recruitment, my non-traditional recruitment process, active collegiate membership, and my newly found position as an alumna. Each season has been marked with change.
The Perspective-Altering Pre-Recruitment
As a freshman during the 2019–20 academic year, I only experienced around nine months of a true undergraduate experience before COVID-19 cast its shadow on the world. I am forever grateful for that semester and a half of relative normalcy, as it gave me—a non-affiliated student who defied the classic sorority girl trope—a glimpse into what sorority membership could look like at my university.
I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight the individuality of VCU’s Greek Life experience. Despite being situated in Richmond, Virginia—the historically controversial former capital of the Confederacy—VCU has grown to be synonymous with diversity and inclusion. This translates into the university’s fraternity/sorority community. Though relatively small in scale, it is a tight knit community of young adults who are steering
change and figuring it out. On top of this, nearly everyone in a sorority at VCU will say the same thing, “I had no intentions of ‘rushing’ until I physically came here”. This goes back to my original statement of the sorority trope being challenged by the reality of what we could see with our own eyes from the outside looking in. We observed inclusivity where exclusivity was originally expected. We saw diversity when we expected conformity.
Non-Traditional Recruitment Process
Motivated by this new reality—along with an eagerness to get involved in my community and meet new people in the confines of a new normal—I took the leap. Along with a few friends, I went through the Continuous Open Bidding process as a sophomore in the fall of 2020 in hopes of making connections when campus life as we knew it was null and void. This new COVID- conscious one-on-one version of recruitment gave me a unique glimpse behind the curtain, and every Sigma I met during this process solidified the observations I made the previous year.
Motivated by this new reality—along with an eagerness to get involved in my community and meet new people in the confines of a new normal—I took the leap. Along with a few friends, I went through the Continuous Open Bidding process as a sophomore in the fall of 2020 in hopes of making connections when campus life as we knew it was null and void. This new COVID- conscious one-on-one version of recruitment gave me a unique glimpse behind the curtain, and every Sigma I met during this process solidified the observations I made the previous year.
Once I became an initiated member, I was met with immediate sisterhood—or as my chapter sappily describes it, Sigma Love. This was (and admittedly still is) challenging for me to accept, as I had never been openly emotional or close to that many people at once. Yet, with each Sigma milestone, I was able to show Sigma Love in my own special, type A-minded ways.
Active Collegiate Membership
I showered all three of my “littles” with thoroughly planned gifts. I checked in on them as the semesters progressed, and was a mentor and friend whenever needed. Recruitment, philanthropy events, weekly sisterhoods and other important dates were marked in my calendar with purple ink, as I was sure to be in attendance. Taking my leadership positions seriously and understanding the importance each role had on
those around me was my way of showing my deep care for the chapter. I was and am still a rock for those around me. Showing up and serving as a leader, sister, and friend was my form of sisterhood. It’s what made me the personification of today’s sorority woman.
My Newly Found Position as an Alumna
I now find myself in my current season as a Sigma alumna. So much, yet so little, has changed since I completed my undergraduate degree in May. I still talk to my littles, big, and twin as much as I can between classes. I still live with fellow Sigmas—but we have since made the move to New York City. I am still a student, but with the cadence of a Columbia University grad student in the city that never sleeps. What has truly remained the same, however, is that I still represent today’s sorority woman. My journey—as a big sis, little sis, leader, volunteer, sister, and friend—is not over. My Sigma experience has shown me that life, just like my member experience, can also evolve.
And just as my initial misconceptions of today’s sorority woman and sisterhood were challenged and reshaped, I know tomorrow’s sorority woman is not too far away. With continued inclusivity, open mindedness, and a willingness to meet women where they are, the Sigma experience will continue to be relevant, beneficial, and impactful—and it is up to all of us to keep that momentum going.
