Letter To My Younger Self: Billy Anderson, Carleton ’94
Hey, freshman, me in 1990! You’re awesome, and one day, you’ll finally believe it.
Until then, I want to talk about Friendship and Fulfilled Potential. These are words I wish I had heard at your stage of life.
You’re worried you’re not good enough. Eventually, you’ll realize that EVERYBODY has this fear about themselves, but no one talks about it because we’re terrified that we’re the only ones feeling this way.
You’re worried about fitting in, getting good grades, and making your parents proud. You’re also concerned about being cool and being really fit. That’s a lot of pressure!
In terms of your potential, you’re not getting great marks this year and there’s a simple reason for that: you skip a lot of classes and you leave studying for exams until the very last minute. Would you like to know why you do that?
You do it to self-sabotage. Deep down, you’re worried you’re not smart enough, so you leave everything until the last minute, giving yourself an excuse for not doing well. “I only started studying the night before—no wonder I bombed that exam!” This way, you have an excuse that only reflects on your effort, not your intelligence.
In terms of friendship, you’re scared that maybe you’re not as fun, cool, or interesting as you should be. As a result, you act aloof around your friend groups and don’t commit to spending lots of time with the same people; you’re worried they’ll get bored of you. This means you don’t engage in the Fraternity as much as you could. You only show up at events every once in a while to hear, “Hey, look, everyone, Billy’s here!!” It makes you feel special but also means you’ll never build deep friendships.
So, I’m asking you to dive right in and make the most of what the Fraternity has to offer. You don’t have to be the wildest or most adventurous guy for people to like you. Stop trying to impress—that’s your fear talking. Just be kind and a good listener; that shows everyone that you accept them for who they are.
Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two minutes by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
You’re good enough already. It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and unleash the most genuine, caring, and emotional version of yourself. The world wants and needs it.
About Billy
Brother Billy Anderson redefined success by leaving a thriving advertising career to pursue a life true to himself. He founded The Courage Crusade, where he focuses on executive coaching, facilitating workshops, and professional speaking for top companies. Certified by the International Coaching Federation and Career Partners International, Billy is also a lead instructor for Outward Bound and a contributing writer for Globe & Mail. Brother Anderson is a frequent speaker at the Kleberg Emerging Leaders Institute, where he inspires others to step outside their comfort zones.
