The Problem With Frats

I can’t believe it they’re shutting the frat down I mean we had a good run but I guess the Dean wins this round hey this isn’t the fire row I pledged we’re fighters the fire all I know would never take this line down did we give up with Squeezebox was gonna flunk out

No we banded together and now he’s got a 1.8 GPA yes ox is right yeah and we sure as hell didn’t give up when Shanghai got his car stuck in that Lake you remember that we banded together [ __ ] yeah and we straight-up lied to the administration when squits raped that chick what yeah

Yeah yeah we kept that under wraps and now that cool doesn’t even go to this school anymore Jesus really because this is the safe space for men to sleep with girls even if they’re straight up passed out well they shouldn’t be passed out shut the [ __ ] up squish you’re a rapist

Because what happens in fire roll Kappa stays in fire roll Kappa unless we’re sharing pictures of her naked X’s on the internet that’s loud cuz it’s funny this is about freedom the freedom to wear blackface whether it be on Halloween or annual thugs and [ __ ] mixer we have to change that name the

Freedom to use whatever kind of words we want in our traditional racist chants what do you give a [ __ ] it’s not like any of you guys are black anyway wait are there really no I thought there was at least this is emblematic of a larger problem guys ox is just trying to help

Okay maybe a couple of freshmen had died from alcohol poisoning because we were afraid we’d get in trouble if we took him to the hospital and yes all right there was the kid who we branded with a coat hanger and he got a serious infection but that’s on him

Look let’s just put it out there we’ve had a bit of an issue with sodomy but those are the actions of people we can’t control and you know what actually you know you know now that I say this out loud we’re better people we’re bad people on the inside

[ __ ] fire Ocampa I say we fight I say we rally I say we have all five row kappa lungs cut off donations to the school until they drop the charges against us I’m pretty sure that’s extortion let’s go drop swastikas on Dean Goldberg’s car let’s go and turn ourselves in to the police

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