You should all be very proud of yourselves. Each and every one of you has been hand-picked To represent our inaugural pledge class. Over the next 21 days, You’re all going to experience Intense mental and physical strain. Ahhh!! [men whimpering] Just pace yourself. Copy that. Just got a little overexcited. Sorry.
At this point you may be asking yourself, “why am I holding “this 30 pound cinderblock in my hands?” You might also ask yourself, “why does this cinderblock “have a long piece of string “tied to it?” And finally, “why’s the other end of this string “tied securely to your penis?” And the answer, ladies…
Is trust. This is your first test. Spanish! Do you trust that we’ve provided you With enough slack so your block will land safely on the lawn? Sir, yes, sir. And blue! Yes, sir? Do you trust That I do not want to see you die tonight? Sir, yes, sir.
Blue, you’re my boy! Thank you, sir. [ frank: ] about face. [drum cadence] Step to the edge! Pledges, prepare to release! One… Two… Three! Release! [all yelling] Aahh! [ unison: ] oh…! [girlish squeals] [ frank: ] wasn’t meant to happen like that, weensie!
[ beanie: ] walk it off, big guy. We’re coming down.
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