Fallout 3 or as it’s known in the DC Metro Area a normal day is a game about living in the dystopian post-apocalyptic hellscape that is Washington DC a place where everyone is either homeless or soon to be homeless the streets are patrolled by armies of deranged Psychopaths known as tourists and you
Live your life under the constant threat of nuclear incineration developed by Bethesda game studios and this man Fallout 3 is the first game in the Fallout Trilogy there’s a river going around that it’s actually based on an older game called Fallout Brotherhood of Steel which is itself a sequel to the
Much more famous Fallout tactics Brotherhood of Steel but these return-based isometric games so they’ve been consigned to the Trashmen in history where they [ __ ] belong the backstory of the Fallout universe is that Civilization never invented the transistor meaning instead of cyberpunk 2077 we got Fallout 76. a few people
Survived by hiding in underground vaults where they suffered from vitamin D deficiency for 200 years While others stayed on the surface and suffered from too much vitamin D you play as Liam neesonson on his quest to help his dad install a water filter in the least convenient place possible on the way
You’ll need a crazy cast of characters such as Dr Lee moyra Brown a dog 3 Three Dog three dogs Gary Elder lion his hot daughter Gary Gary and Gary the only thing you need to know is that out here in the Wasteland it’s killer be killed because survival is nearly impossible
Except for all the times when it isn’t and it’s not because you can talk every single antagonist in this game into killing themselves suicide is badass this is the only game with a higher percentage of suicidal antagonists than the Mass Effect series even starting to gain feels like trying to resuscitate
Someone with massive organ failure so let me do your guide through the terrifying Minefield of technical hazards that is Fallout 4. before you have any say in the matter you’re born to our dad Liam Neeson struggling to do an American accent after selecting what type of burn victim
We want to look like Mrs Neeson takes one look at us and dies of embarrassment whoops sorry about that one dad boy what the hell is happening welcome to the gamer basement time to skip forward and we’re now a baby in Vault 101 an underground bunker where your father
Drills the same Bible verse into you like you’re in [ __ ] conversion therapy hope you remember this in 18 years by the way as we Quantum bleed through our childhood we get to meet the tunnel snakes and after you meet them you might as well uninstall the game
Because you’re not going to meet anyone cooler except maybe the teacher that lets us skip our SATs oh God not again come on you’ve got to wait the [ __ ] up Samurai we’ve got a basement to leave in the process of leaving the boss Liam Neeson created so many OSHA violations
That half the population has been killed by roaches with the power of Friendship with the power of incredible violence we managed to go outside unfortunately there’s no grass left to touch out here we also hear two radio stations one playing a top 40s list of Grandma’s most
Racist songs but it’s still better than its competitor propaganda themed ASMR it’s not held by the [ __ ] floating radios that seem to be playing it why are the ibots the only thing in this universe that hovers like this Fallout 3 is a game with many interesting places
To discover if I can [ __ ] find them you start at the center of the map and from here you can go anywhere you want like the bear and Wasteland Baron Wasteland Baron Wasteland or empty parking lot the only place you can’t go is South DC because even the Fallout
Universe won’t take you south of the anacosta speaking of the hood our first stop is this pile of Rusty airplane Parts with a turbo fan jet for a gate does everyone in this town rupture their eardrums whenever they open the front door welcome to megaton because every
City developed by Bethesda has to have a theme this town’s theme is worshiping a new nuclear bomb honestly I get it at least you’re worshiping something that you can see and touch and will kill you if you agitate it and oh boy can you agitate it is that really necessary
Speaking of short fuses I need to find Liam Neeson so I immediately check the closest bar welcome to Ramsay’s Kitchen night news bar owner Moriarty only the second most Irish sounding American we’ve met so far excuse me I need you to help me find the only man named James on the entire planet
I’m sorry sorry I don’t speak potato how is it that the only thing in the US that didn’t collapse was the immigration system I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself earlier I’m your new health inspector Liam Neeson has gone into the city to try to find a black man and we need to
Stop him before he gets taken for canceled fortunately for us there’s only one black character in the entire game three dog the DJ for WKRP and DC let me know in the comments if you get that joke and don’t forget to share this video with the rest of your retirement
Home just kidding I know nobody over 12 is capable of watching this to get into the city you need to take the metro tunnels because even in the apocalypse there’s still no [ __ ] parking in this town fortunately this appears to be one of the few times when the DC Metro isn’t
On fire the Metro only goes to Falls Church the reason the streets of DC aren’t littered with cars packed Bumper to Bumper is that the president was enough of the dick to end the world on a [ __ ] Saturday on our way into the city we’ll face many enemies like the
Super mutants former humans transformed by the force evolutionary virus and part of being evolved is eating raw meat and refusing to use grammatical determiners at the radio station we find a group of larpers doing some ethnic cleansing oh look another gamer looking to touch grass I hate to tell you this but the
Only green things around here want to eat you but don’t worry the Brotherhood of Steel is here to commit genocide on your behalf welcome to Infowars here we meet Three Dog a character everyone pretends is important but he can be bypassed more easily than the Irishman
Back there my name is three dog I’m the local DJ someone to counter the propaganda of the mainstream media literally of an army of soldiers in your lobby all right what do you want have you seen my dad man if you want my help you gotta fight the good fight and I
Ain’t talking about some NPR pledge Drive man what the [ __ ] do you think I’ve been doing this whole time weren’t you just on the radio dick riding me since you never heard of moving the goal post I’m just gonna tell you but I warn
You your dad may not be in hell but he’s headed for a place damn close to it oh no don’t tell me he went to the [ __ ] boat town you went to the boat town bro [ __ ] uh Rivet City the nicest place to live since Kowloon slums the theme of this
Town is being [ __ ] incomprehensible the city planner was clearly a paranoid schizophrenic somehow this is the biggest city in the DC area despite the fact that wanting to live here is like buying a condominium on the Titanic or New Orleans that’s why I have no respect
For the next character we meet Dr lean the doctor that delivered me as a baby and probably Bears the most responsibility for my mother’s death you’re a pretty shitty doctor if you can’t diagnose eclampsia remind me to call the back alley school of medicine to have them revoke your degree
Unfortunately she has no idea where her dad is and while I’m content to leave him in whatever ditch he fell into he is an essential character to complete our any percent run my real dad once told me he shoulder checked Liam Neeson on the set of Nell and I couldn’t be prouder of
Him luckily for us Liam Neeson has become a podcaster which means he has a psychological composer the causes of belief behind physical eight-track cassettes these lead us to Vault 112 to search for information on the German scientist named stanislav Brown She that sure would have been useful earlier wish
You could have left some of these tapes back at [ __ ] Paddy’s Irish Pub arriving at the Vault we descend until we arrive at the central chamber packed with suicide pods finally can get some good [ __ ] sleep oh no I’m in hell welcome to the metaverse but a bit more fun here we
Find the cast of Leave it to Beaver locked in a battle of survival against stanislav Brown who has entered the body of a little girl gentian players be like no it’s not like that she’s actually a 300 year old German scientist like every other it worker to ever
Exists Brawn has developed a God complex and enjoys watching people get horrifically named on the set of The Brady Bunch my favorite episode is when the Communists execute the entire town this also deletes his hard drive causing him to become stuck in the suburbs did
You have any idea how many chimp nfts I had on that hard drive break the muck up Samurai it gets my better judgment Liam Neeson is once again free to roam the streets of dairy chisan thanks for freeing me for my fursona but you were supposed to stay in
The vault hey man I wasn’t keen on this hero’s journey [ __ ] either but many many people are dead directly because of you and I’m on the overseas permanent shitless by association Liam neesonson thought to himself before he said oh but you left without saying goodbye what
Else was I supposed to do yeah the overseer probably would have you shot on site if you went back [ __ ] you man on the way back to Rivet City we learned Liam Neeson’s plans the Potomac River is an ecological disaster that can cause dangerous mutations and even death but
Then a nuclear war happened and generally did not improve things so now our dad has decided to dedicate his entire life to this massive engineering Mega project instead of just building multiple simpler water filters with multiple points of failure he’s able to use his speech skill to recruit Dr Lee I
Hope you’re a better plumber than you were in obstetrician oh my God will you shut up man this conversation on this board means six feet into the [ __ ] ground this game might as well be on [ __ ] rails from this point at the Jefferson Memorial Liam Neeson is getting ready to flush the massive
Toilet that is the DC Title Basin before we could do that though we have some tasks to perform hmm you’re being sus dear God help me finally clean free drinking water for everyone a [ __ ] Liam Neeson you can’t say that out loud the [ __ ] it’s Nestle yes I’m responsible
I can’t believe you’re shutting down my unlicensed sewage plant Destiny isn’t taking me alive son don’t forget the Bible and remember whatever you do you’ll always be a true king we’re still on Rails as we’re expected to escort some wussy scientists through the sewer system the first time
I played this I saved everyone and wasn’t even trying but every time I replayed it the scientists have the survival instincts of a dodo bird and demonstrate as much will to live as I have after I upload this video eluding the Nestle death squads we escape to a
Place where the US legal system can’t touch us welcome to the Pentagon now called The Citadel in the current home of the Brotherhood of Steel how bad were the Chinese nukes if they couldn’t even hit the Pentagon the only casually seems to be the Dunkin Donuts at the center
Never forget what they took from you we also meet Sarah’s father uh surely you mean grandfather Joe Biden I need you to drone strike the Jefferson Memorial I had never been particularly poor at calculating how to get things done so the best way to get something done if
You if the holes near and dear to you that you uh um like to be able to anyway what is that your service this man runs the most powerful Army in the Wasteland and he only wants to use it to murder radiation victims unlike a regular water filter that uses charcoal
The one our dad gave his life for needs something that he didn’t even know existed when he started building it called a Geck and the original Fallout games the Geck was basically a box with a broom and a sticky note that reads better get to it in Fallout 3 it’s a
Magical device capable of Reviving an entire ecosystem and our dad wanted to turn it into a water filter the Brotherhood tells us the Geck is in vault 87 which can only be accessed by going through the McDonald’s PlayPlace we arrive at crayon Canyon where we’re immediately confronted by a small child
Ah man that’s crazy after leaving one of the most thematically interesting yet inconsequential locations in the entire game we arrive at vault 87 the get is in here but to get to it we have to go through the perfume Department yo basement dweller Release Me From This
Cell and I will Brave the perfume Department to retrieve the Geck how do I know I can trust you I know how to use a semicolon fair deal here you go oh is that it that’s it I was just expecting something more dramatic like a betrayal
Nope so you’re just a solid guy I try to be all right then thank you you’re welcome stay safe out there a lot of weirdos out today but now we have a new problem with the weight of the gag added to our already crushing weight of social responsibility we are now slightly over
Encumbered but don’t worry both of these issues can be solved with alcohol chugging every bottle will give me the strength to stumble to the exit sir have you been drinking this evening take the gloves off Samurai your blood alcohol content was 14 times the legal limit for operating heavy machinery
We’ve taken control of Jefferson Memorial but there seems to be a radiation leak in the slapdash nuclear reactor can become super critical at any moment we need the password to avert a nuclear disaster I would give it to you if I [ __ ] knew it well for building
Without a permit you’re looking at about a 500 fine and a summary execution I would like to speak to your manager please we finally come face to face with President John Henry Eden it turns out he’s a PS5 that’s trained itself to become president by watching every
Episode of Cory in the House tell me basement dweller have you ever touched grass no I don’t suppose you’ve had the pleasure you simply haven’t lived until you’ve run your fingers through some genuine Kentucky Bluegrass gaming wasn’t built on racism or sexism it was built
On grass it was built on knowing that at some point your mom was going to unplug the console and make you go outside that’s what gaming is all about we can bring it back gamer all you have to do is kill everyone instead of giving them free water American elections do be like
That though literally kill yourself so on I did not think it would be that easy every villain in Fallout 3 is on permanent [ __ ] suicide watch gamer I saw you get pinched for that DUI and came here to wipe out Nestle Fox he came back I don’t even have a joke for this
I’m genuinely [ __ ] jazzed whenever I see this Jolly Green Giant back at the Dunkin Donuts we tell Lions how badly [ __ ] up now that his inaction has left this threat completely unchecked he decides it’s time to take the fight to them okay turn on the giant robot please he’s
Acting like he doesn’t want to turn on the giant robot give me a [ __ ] break dude’s like no we’re about to embark on a potentially Dangerous Mission instead of debating The Enclave on tax policy or civil protections to determine which militaristic autocracy will rule the Wasteland of the United States we’re
Just gonna call everyone who disagrees with us a communist this will activate our trap card The Iron Giant except instead of being anti-gun this one is pro new hey guys big peak entertainment here welcome to the end of nausicaa and the Valley of the wind except instead of
Reaching the conclusion weapons of mass destruction are bad and only lead to needless Devastation Fallout 3 concludes the wmds are absolutely [ __ ] based and a useful tool to have around the house your insular authoritarian theocracy is cringe my insular authoritarian theocracy is based hey Fox
Do you want to go in and start the reactor for me [ __ ] man I’m not going in there no [ __ ] way my dude you literally just went into an irradiated chamber so I wouldn’t have to but if you do have the Broken Steel DLC he says yes
That does make a lot of sense I just went into an irradiated chamber for you so I suppose I can do another one for old time’s sake I feel that your destiny lies within that chamber I don’t suppose you’ve considered killing yourself go on geez I didn’t expect the game to make me
Feel bad for not wanting to die pointlessly but the joke’s not me because then they game bugged out and he wouldn’t actually go through the door fine I guess I’m killing myself it just occurred to me that I have no idea what the code is one one one no one one two
One one three a few moments later two one five two one six oh yeah there we go the player realized his father’s dream that’s about it nothing else you did really mattered and it wasn’t my dream I just want to live in my dad’s basement and play Hearts of Iron and that’s the
End of our journey I can imagine the conversation to Bethesda now hey we have to make some DLC for Fallout 3 now it’s gonna be hard to make additional content based on the adventures of a corpse yes I know at the end we’re dead but what if
We weren’t if you have the Broken Steel DLC instead of dying pointlessly you live pointlessly and wake up 28 Days Later in the basement of the Dunkin Donuts hey you you’re finally awake the [ __ ] up Samurai the Brotherhood of Steel has taken over Nestle’s business The Enclave destroys Liberty prime using a
[ __ ] you doomsday satellite what the [ __ ] guys you didn’t want to use that instant win when you were getting your asses kicked earlier as a wise man once said we are very lucky they are so [ __ ] stupid so stupid in fact that one man is able to raid The Enclave base
And turn the Doomsday weapon on itself who gives a [ __ ] let’s go back to the basement and play Call of Duty instead welcome to the snow fields [ __ ] xenobac’s marketing has decided to turn Fallout into an FPS I wonder if any other games come out in 2009 that might
Have influenced them hi everyone it’s me big big and today we’re going to be playing Modern Warfare 2. wait what the [ __ ] did Call of Duty rip off Fallout 3 in operation Anchorage we once again enter the metaverse to play a soldier man in this training Simulator for the
US Army and that’s the entire DLC the most noteworthy thing about this DLC is that even in Bethesda games within Bethesda games their main villain still kills himself at the slightest suggestion I’ve seen other reviewers give this credit because it’s a game within a game and the villain is
Supposed to be shallow but this is still coded by those same [ __ ] in Maryland so I don’t give them credit for admitting their own writing is [ __ ] at the end we unlock a Brotherhood Outcast Pace while I looted The Vault I couldn’t overhear what the outcasts are saying but I
Assume it wasn’t very polite because when I walked out they’d all mysteriously died now that I’m in possession of more US Army Surplus than the Ukrainian military it’s time to explore the vast reaches of the Wasteland wait what’s going on I am very concerned I hope this doesn’t point my
Warranty break the truck up Samurai hi everyone it’s me big beak and today we’re going to be playing the alpha build of Starfield while trying to avoid the claw despite the new location there’s only one Real Enemy boredom there aren’t any ethical questions in this DLC Beyond would you like to not
Kill the aliens or would you like to keep your gallbladder if you lose karma for killing the alien Engineers but it feels like losing karma for killing the engineers running the train to death cab Bethesda has this bad habit of using gimmicks in place of mechanics I don’t
Have a joke for that yet but we’ll see about it when we get to Starfield with that abduction behind us we can move on to more pressing matters like this random boat hey Laura you look like you could use a rad I think we might not have put abduction behind us welcome to
The absolute humanitarian nightmare that is Coastal Maryland the developers left out the confederate memorial but Captain the inbred locals I wonder what marylanders have to say about this depiction of them just kidding either way it will be incomprehensible here we experience the vague rivalry between Colonel Sanders and a [ __ ] pickle jar
Fallout fans will tell me this is the best DLC with a straight face and then fail to tell me even the slightest thing that happened to that like getting knocked out for the 300th time flake the muck up Samurai well what is that whoa what is that oh that’s kind of strange I
Don’t remember all these corpses being here on the way in I never saw so I didn’t like though oh no they forgot move the part of my brain that delivers criticism hey guys blink blink blendertain here and welcome to my Fallout 3 Let’s Play Point Lookout is
One of the best DLC has ever added to a video game my favorite one of course being Fallout 76. after following a mysterious radio signal we meet a man called Verner a man who based his entire personality on Escape From New York including being completely useless to the plot I come
From a city in the north called pit Raiders have enslaved like a dozen people forcing them to make steel in the factories it’s the only way we can compete with the Chinese market Werner wants us to sneak in and execute his meticulous plan but I was in outer space
This morning so the only thing I plan to execute are any slavers I could find on our way into the city we’re confronted by Horrors beyond our comprehension what SCP is that it’s good to see Pittsburgh survived the apocalypse unscathed Werner tells us to enter the pit and find Medea
So I approach the gate in full power armor with my Alien Blaster several Raiders decide they want to die today so I oblige one I thought I might have been overleveled for this part of the game before entering the game being subdued by four guys with sticks oh sorry I
Didn’t know my power armors made from [ __ ] paper mache I tried to push against the game and it beat my ass so I decided it was going to role play his bully Tecumseh Sherman and burn this entire city to the ground wait the [ __ ] up Samurai we have a city to burn
So I beat the first Raider I saw to death at this point I realized I was definitely over level because I had started putting points into one arm as I was talking to Medea I was rudely interrupted by someone named Jackson so I beat him to death of the baseball bat
Stole all this stuff and waited for everyone to forget about it using my newly acquired Arsenal I was able to kill every Raider in the pit the slaves didn’t seem to paint any mind though at this point you’re making a choice was this DLC written by Kanye welcome to the
Actual pit a place set aside for business conferences here we can network with colleagues develop innovative solutions and Implement cost cutting measures two employees enter but the one that leaves gets promoted to management everyone seems to think I can’t hack it but they all forgot that in addition to
An arsenal of weapons I’ve pillaged off their dead colleagues and was given the company assault rifle earlier we meet Asher who is apparently really PC about this whole slavery business but don’t worry just because I’ve been promoted don’t think I’ll forget my roots it’s time to seize the means of production
Beginning with the means of reproduction the dialogue options seem to indicate I’m supposed to have some sort of moral qualms about this but if trial Protective Services can take away kids because their parents buy drugs I think I’m allowed to take away kids because their parents by slaves hey there thanks
For getting rid of all the slavers no problem man what are you gonna do now they’re gone what do you mean now we can finally get back to work here you can see the newly liberated slaves hard at work doing the exact same thing as before you know what really is
Heartwarming to see a difference you’ve made in the world this DLC is honestly the best microcosm of Fallout for these issues Fallout 3 is the worst game than Fallout 4 in every way and I’m tired of pretending it’s not but the people that also say that tentatively fallouts one
And two are unimpeachable masterpieces I know OG Fallon fans like to refute the fraternity of Fallout 3 but this is a logical progression of the series not that it’s fallout’s fault the release of the original Fallout is closer to the moon landings than today and that won’t
Be a joke for much longer but passed for groundbreaking in the late 90s would struggle to paint with basic competence today oh your face before you get mad at me the reason I’m trashing Fallout 1 and 2 so hard is so that you know I’m not being a
Nostalgic neckbeard when I say that Fallout 3 is poorly written Fallout 3 Misses more opportunities to post ethical questions it fails to have compelling villains it positions itself in opposition to authoritarian ideologies but I’ve never seen the Brotherhood of Steel have an election and that’s the reason Fallout 4 is so
Much better it still has the balls to ask the questions even when it [ __ ] up Fallout 3 does not create moral dilemmas it creates problems to be overcome in the name of either righteousness or evil or by changing two lines in the any file you’re not trying to find the least bad
Option you’re just deciding if you’re going to be a dick or not but I could forgive all of that if this game was actually [ __ ] stable usually when I play a game I spend an a lot of amount of time researching the game but the research time for this video was just
Spent trying to figure out how to run the [ __ ] executable but then again Microsoft just bought Bethesda so who knows maybe they’ll release Fallout 3 remastered in 10 years I’m amazed we haven’t gotten five versions of this one Todd I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my YouTube channel so I’ll say right now the next game I’m gonna play is probably going to be Fallout New Vegas but also who knows could be anything see you guys in six months
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