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A Wise Bully – Key & Peele

adminBy adminSeptember 12, 2023No Comments2 Mins Read
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[indistinct chatter] – [laughs] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHY YOU READIN’, BITCH? – BECAUSE I LIKE TO READ, AND THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK. – YOU’RE A REALLY GOOD BITCH, BITCH. – WHY YOU GOTTA BOTHER ME, MAN? – BECAUSE. [dramatic piano music] I’M NOT DOING VERY WELL IN SCHOOL.

I’M READING AT A THIRD-GRADE LEVEL. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO GET LEFT BACK, SO WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY READING FOR FUN, IT MAKES ME FEEL THAT MUCH MORE STUPID! AND THEN I GET MAD! [music stops] – UM, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. I– THANKS SO MUCH FOR OPENING UP TO ME–

– SHUT UP, QUEER! – I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY–I MEAN, WHY YOU GOTTA GO THERE? [piano music] – I’VE BEEN HAVING SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT SOME OF THE OTHER GUYS AT SCHOOL. – WHAT? – GIMME THAT! I’M AFRAID OF THESE FEELINGS AND WHAT THEY MIGHT MEAN. IT’S LIKE, BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH,

I GOTTA POINT THAT HATE OUTWARD TOWARDS YOU! [snickers] [music stops] – YOU UNDERSTAND THIS ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL THAT– – I DON’T UNDERSTAND [bleep]! – WHOA! – NOW I’M GONNA PUNISH YOU PHYSICALLY FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS! – WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, I WAS GONNA SAY IF YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO WELL,

THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY WORKING ON CHANGING IT. – OF COURSE I WANT TO CHANGE IT! BUT IT’S THE ONLY DEFENSE MECHANISM I HAVE AGAINST DEEPER, MORE TERRIFYING PROBLEMS BURIED INSIDE OF ME! [brakes squeak] YOU’RE LUCKY MY DAD’S HERE. [piano music] – [banging] GET IN THE DAMN TRUCK, SON.

I NEED TO TAKE YOU HOME AND BEAT ON YOU ‘CAUSE I HATE MYSELF. AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER WHO LEFT ME. THEN I’M GONNA BLOCK OUT THE GUILT I FEEL OVER MISTREATING YOU WITH A RIVER OF VODKA. – I’M GONNA INTERNALIZE THAT AND UNKNOWINGLY TRANSFER IT ONTO YOU TOMORROW. ♪ ♪

COMING RELUCTANTLY.

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