Welcome to the men of action podcast where we bring our men who are Stellar men who have risen above the standard men who fall like a zero until they recognize that he or themselves that Warrior that wants to come out for them to be become the best man that they were
Called to be today I got Zach small here he’s a family man who’s in the military and he’s also the founder of the fraternity of Excellence so Zach we share the same name and it’s good to share the podcast with you today yes sir I’m excited to be here we got the Zack
Attack going on so I’m all about it yeah hey the world better watch out two zag attacks high energy High men I don’t know we’re gonna break the internet hey you never know because they thought one was trouble two mixed double double the power that’s right all right so Zach why don’t you
Tell us a little bit about yourself absolutely so one of the main things that people sort of know me for is I’ve been really pushing the family message online I’ve been doing it for a long time and so there’s there’s a lot of dad bods out there there’s a lot of dad
Jokes a lot of these negative connotations around family men and I didn’t like that because that’s not me and so I’m focused on the father figure I’m focused on being hilarious I’m focused on maintaining a healthy marriage being a strong example for my children be connected with my kids and
So when I go online you know you see the opposite you see it in movies you see it in TV shows and so I started to create content focused around still being a man you know an independent man a man who goes out and does things a man of action
You know as you say and so when you look at it how could you be a man of action or how can you have a strong family unit if you aren’t a strong individual and so I started to help other men recognize that they may have taken their foot off the
Gas because of a lot of the societal messaging around what it is to be a father or a husband and so basically I I kind of before we recorded I shared with you I sort of stumbled onto this in 2011 I started writing on Reddit you know
That that brought me uh to men’s groups men rights men’s things like that that went over to the red pill I started writing on there on intersexual Dynamics and just how to keep things fresh in your marriage that went to married red pill started being a father how to lead
Your children in today’s day and age while maintaining a healthy marriage that led to the blog in 2015 the family Alpha in 2017 I wrote a book uh the 31 days to masculinity in 2018 we launched the fraternity of excellence and today we are rolling with a community the brand
The blog sub stack social profiles like things happen in steamrolled in a way that I had no idea going into this it just sort of I rode the wave and every time an obstacle would try to bring me down and like all right who wants to
Listen to you you know this is enough you’ve gone far enough I was like no I can do more so I had a full-time job a full-time marriage two children full-time job and I was involved in each of those while committing myself to full-time my online group fraternity of Excellence as
Well as you know myself my writing my personal message that I wanted to share with the world it’s possible man family men can do so much more it just requires time management and most importantly connection with other men to show you how to do it and so I surrounded myself
With those men and that’s what you see today that’s amazing I mean I can’t imagine doing all that stuff right now like just amazing family running basically doing your own business working for a business and I mean you that’s really raising the standard and I think you really hit on a
Key point of and we’re gonna go into like let’s say like inputs outputs like what we receive in is what we’re gonna do and I think you hit a key point of basically the images of fathers on TV we’re back like I remember back in like
Let’s say the 90s we’re kind of 80s 90s I was watching the 90s but like Family Matters which was like one of my all-time favorite show so you had a present father you had a father who was there and very Stellar you know he had a good job he
Worked hard made mistakes but he did his best and then unfortunately growing up I started watching obviously The Simpsons or the Family Guy and then with that kind of stuff it showed you the the stupid father right the father who was not a man of action or but of inaction
The father would get drunk now do reckless things for his family that would cost him quite a bit financially and then just a lot of emotional turmoil and it’s kind of hard to say that you kind of watch that stuff and for whatever reason it was captivating because it was
A cartoon and it was foolish but just how much it really does affect you you know when you phrase it like that it does have me questioning you know the I don’t think it’s a chicken egg scenario I don’t think that they created those shows because they better reflected the
Family unit in America I think that they created those shows as entertainment to capitalize on what was a segment of family units like there were the funny fat guys out there there were those funny fat fathers that were doing their thing but to me if a nation were want to
Want to grow we would want to display and set the example for the ideal that we should be pursuing you know an aspirational father and so I would hope or not I hoped and I still hope I doubt it’s going to happen but I hope to see
Shows where they show that strong father unit or that strong family unit and that strong father setting the examples to what a good man is why don’t we see shows where there’s a jack dad walking around doing his thing right oh that’s not what you see in America no yes it is
But it’s just like the the segment has flipped a little bit there are plenty to you see it all the time a lot of the men that we roll with a lot of these men think about Tyler toad I think about you know Anthony miglerino Jeff I’ve got a
Long list of dads that roll up we got Justin so I gotta stop right there yeah but you look at these dads they are leading with strength my buddy Phil Foster is a literal he created a supplement business uh but he’s also a carpenter and I look at men like that
I’m like that’s a father who runs a business in Dallas Fort Worth Texas he is like the carpenter to go to and here he is building a side business because bodybuilding’s a a like hobby turn now it’s his profession that’s what he wants to do and I’m like why aren’t dads like
That because he has a daughter and a wife why aren’t fathers like that shown on television why do we always see the idiot the Modern Family Guy and the like the Modern Family father as well as the Family Guy I don’t see it man I want to
See fathers out there that lead men to being better men yeah you know it’s one of those things too where it’s like you got to wonder will Captivate the audience because it has to have the drama it has to have the enticing factor to things
So one of the cool things that I hope gets done and hopefully someone who’s watching this podcast would be inspired is maybe you’d be the one to go out and create that content because we’re always waiting for someone to do something versus us taking action and doing it
Ourselves starting our own networks our own platforms were it’s a lot easier now to develop and make all that stuff versus back then and back in the day where you hadn’t raised so much money I mean myself but to doing like I mean let’s say miniseries on YouTube or what
Have you so that way eventually it might lead to something well when you look at it like that too what are we doing right now we’re creating content we’re creating the change we want to be a part of you know when you ask me to come on here I had
Seen your message I’m like hell yeah that’s something I want to be associated with that’s somebody who’s looking to grow something to me mainstream media is so far outdated that it’s similar to to those who are stuck in like World War II they think that big planes and tanks are
How you fight Wars and that’s not the case anymore like the war has changed and so coming from the military side of the house that’s kind of where my mind goes back to but take that apply it here you know watching stupid shows to kill time and life like that’s that’s so far
Outdated it’s literally killing people it’s like sucking them away from their family but what if we had content that was streaming that was individuals like us you could catch a segment of this as a commercial so instead of a commercial about people doing weird things jumping
In the car being funny about Aflac you could catch a commercial happening between mainstream content where it’s a clip of hey check out this segment of this podcast or this YouTube channel these guys talking about this way to improve your life all right now back to your regularly scheduled major content
Where you’re learning a course or you’re developing something else about yourself to me that’s the future to me that’s where we should be striving to go as anxiety because that is something that will make you better but again they’re promoting content that they know destroys people they know they promote
Smoking they promote drinking they promote uh shattered families they promote these things and they know that’s literally killing people that is leaving children without fathers in the home that is leaving men at incredibly High suicide rates women at incredibly low mental health uh standards and we’re watching this happen
In front of us and TV collapse and people cheer for it it’s just insane to me man something’s got to change before this breaks yeah no I I completely agree with someone who kind of actually works with people who are suicidal you know doing my day job and everything
It’s it’s sad to see that there’s so many people who just struggle with these thoughts and these ideations who feel like nothing and they feel forgotten they feel they feel lost and it really stems from I mean that’s why I mean I can tell you first songs I
Know men have been more likely to commit suicide a woman about four times more likely for as long as I’ve known and yes there’s a lot of different factors and I guess men are a little bit more can be a little bit more violent so they use a
Little bit more weapons and have to get a little bit more drugs and things like that so that way they act more impulsively more recklessly but there’s a lot of men hurting out here and especially where it kind of gets confusing about like what other what are the good quality
Traits of a man when you have all these different messagings going on when you look at that you have to look to the answer you’ve got to look to the solution and so the way I see that is for me to want to get better for me to
Know what’s the right path I need to look at someone that’s living a life similar to The One I Want To Live yes and so if you see a man who’s living a life like all right he appears to have his marriage together he appears to have a good relationship with his children
And let me be clear I’m not talking about your Facebook highlight reel I’m not talking about smiles on Facebook because a lot of that is come here smile get away from me really living this life so when they have that Bond and connection you can tell and then what you do is let’s
Deconstruct that how did that man get there right and for me it’s it’s always been the same man it’s always been the same exact answer they live authentically authentically they live in accordance with what’s true to them they focus on being their best individual self that’s how they’re the
Best father and best husband you know they focus on doing uncomfortable things and being open to change and here’s a quick little quip there I was running the family Alpha podcast and blog and helping men be better fathers I’ve been focused on fatherhood my entire life ever since my
Son was born I came across Anthony migliarino he’s a mentor peer and co-owner of fraternity Excellence with me so very intimate friendship there right but he he once asked me hey dude I love your content how many books have you read about fatherhood and the answer
Was Zero I had never read a book on it I just was going off of my story my anecdotes what worked for me and instead of getting pissed off I realized here’s an opportunity to grow I have to change myself I’ve got to change the way I do this and so well you
Can’t see it right now but one of the top shelves over here the whole thing is just fatherhood or parenting books so a lot of fatherhood but also just parenting at large yeah and I I had to change though so here I was at the top
Of my game doing me somebody gave me input on how to be better and I changed and so for these men on top of everything else I listed you have to be able to admit what you’re doing isn’t working or what you’re doing isn’t the best way
You could be doing it and so if you’re down in your luck why would you double down on committing to what got you down in your luck right if you’re if you’re split from the family if your mental health is is kind of in the in the in the dump
Why would you think it’s not time to change literally the core of who you are and the habits you have and the way that you carry yourself throughout day to day these men who are down they have to choose to live they have to choose to live differently and sometimes that
Means kind of getting your ego out of the way and taking the advice of someone that can really help you by setting a better example themselves that’s that’s that’s an excellent point because obviously as guys we can get very defensive like what do you mean I’ve been a father for let’s say two
Years now you want me to read a book about someone who let’s say maybe he’s had a few kids a long time ago but they’re not a father anymore it’s like because think about how taboo that is you know think about how many discussions have you had around a dinner
Table or with your friend like smoking a cigar like hey how are you as a father what’s your parenting method what’s your life philosophy man oh hey how’s your marriage is your sex life okay and you’re like you can’t talk about those things like no that’s the problem nobody
Talks about those things and that’s why these men can’t go to their friends they can’t go to any sort of real content you know that’s out there they go to TV well TV is what’s giving them the wrong examples now we’re back to a Family Guy now we’re back to The Simpsons their
Friends can’t talk about it because it’s all limits you know online uh from the mainstream is watered down and the example they do know is only that set by their father and I’ll tell you right now man the parenting methods of the 1990s don’t apply right now right the world
Has changed completely different game yeah and so what what worked in the past doesn’t work now you need to associate and surround yourself and again that’s why I really dig what you’re doing and I appreciate what you’re doing because you you get new bonds new connections create
New content go find those men if you are looking to have a strong connected family that’s literally what I’m all about so you would want to go into that type of content and so get rid of Netflix and chill and read Zach’s small content read Zach Goodman content listen
To the pot like you start to swap crap examples with good examples and now your behaviors change I see what you’re doing here similar to the the theme although not quite as physical as that with Matt Boudreau and Tim Kennedy with the apogee program okay they’re building a school
Because they don’t like what they see in the public school system oh wow so yeah dude it’s it’s an incredible thing and so I’m watching them build this literal school to help kids learn how to learn instead of sit at the desk and to me that’s just like a physical
Representation of what you’re doing right now more content focused on authentic and real life applicable advice and that’s what I think people need because there’s a lot of times that people just will talk to you or give you like yeah how about this this and this but it doesn’t have time for that
Discussion of how do I apply this and then how can I follow up with you to discuss it so I think that’s why it’s so important and that’s why I love what you’re doing with the opportunity of excellence and all the men you’re doing with you guys so I actually looked up
Your website and you guys have accountability groups you have weekly calls you have hey how’s things going guess what this could be no BS it’s going to be 100 real it’s gonna be 100 authentic and because that’s what it takes to do and that’s why I love I think that’s
What you know I’ve really drawn to you is that you’re all about here’s why I made a mistake here’s how I grew and here’s how we should be and this is how we do it when you look inside so inside the fraternity of Excellence yeah we have
Over 160 men working together oh and it’s not a weekly call you know there’s there’s like pre-record no no I’m not correcting because there is weekly calls okay but you know in there on Monday we have one of the men um his name is Cala and he’s actually from greater forever
He’s on Twitter definitely follow me I just did a podcast with him solid dude he runs a nutrition call and he he’s a legit out there he lives this like that’s what he does he helps people get their diet in order we have that for free as a part of the membership weekly
Every Monday face-to-face ask your personal questions on Tuesday I lead a call to Anthony focused around Mind Body Spirit maybe we’ll have a guest on but it’s a round table where the men come together on Wednesday we’re talking sex and relationships on Thursday we’re talking fatherhood on Saturday and
Sunday mornings I’m actually missing our coffee call today to be here with you and so every single week just so you know I prioritized you every single week those are going the only spot we have open is Friday and sometimes a guy jumps on there and says hey if anybody’s free
Let’s hang out that’s every week you’re sitting kind of like you and I are right now maybe you’re talking to them except there’s 30 plus other men on the call with you sometimes it’s smaller so it’s more intimate sometimes it’s bigger so you’ve got a big audience but regardless
Of that men are making that time and that’s all on top of the discussion we have every day inside our Forum these men are talking about speaking about real things these men are bringing real action items to the table you know the men who are top performers they’re
Sharing with those who are just starting out how to accelerate their growth and so looking in that Community man that’s we’re doing we’ve created our ecosystem about how to do that about I’m not how to do that but like how to facilitate the acceleration of a man’s
Growth we’ve gotten really good at that by meeting where he’s at but the only way to do that is for us to get him to trust us enough to talk about all those taboo subjects I was speaking of all right being able to speak about his marriage being able to speak about his
Fatherhood where he’s struggling his weight you know how many men come on there and we’re like all right dude you keep telling us and writing stories and sharing um content about how you crushed it you know with your finances in your bank account but on Zoom I can see that
You have three chins what’s up and dude and that that’s how the conversation goes it’s like hey man I’m really glad you’re making money but it’s not enough to overcome this we’ve got to focus on your weight and your physicality as well and so the guy’s like well I didn’t come
In look if you’re here it’s about being excellent in all the areas right and so we’re never putting a man down but we’re telling him the thing his friends won’t tell him we’re telling him the things his wife and children because they love him won’t tell him because they don’t
Want to hurt his feelings no kid’s going to be like hey Dad you’re fat but you know what those kids are going to notice dad you never run around with me you never go in the playground with me we never go hiking if you are fit you would
Do those things with us and so to me when I look at that I’m like we’re helping you you want to be a better dad but you don’t want to work out but you have to work out to be a better dad right and when we can connect those dots
Now it starts to make sense they start to see it but it always has to come from the living example I have to do this myself myself and Anthony any we have to set that standard because we’re the ones running the group and so the men if we
Slip anywhere they’re calling us out like immediately hey dude you said this and so it’s it’s a great community you know we actually we’ve gone public with a segment of it but we can dive into that after but we’re continually looking to grow as well you know so even
Inside a group like that we’re not satisfied we’re content with the progress we’ve made but we’re not satisfied and no man should be right I mean guys you gotta say hungry you gotta figure out you gotta say hungry man you gotta stay driven or else then that’s
When you go back to that coasting and then eventually you’re just like well things kind of good everything’s good you know making some decent money and everything you know this food on the table bills are paid but then that’s when you Coast let’s think I stay hungry
Especially with how driven you are you you do need that and that’s what helps you stay Sinner’s man I love how even groups can call you out and so that’s not easy calling out the leader of the group The you know the wolf pack you know
Well I mean think about it I mean with yours with the warrior Kings Community yeah as as these men come in you know you guys are working together and growing you’ll be surprised when you have a gap and they get you like hey Zach what about that and you’re like oh damn
Here I am looking so much on growing this and now you got me like all right man you got like you can’t argue you’re like you got me you know I now I have to fix it though and the beauty of that and this goes back to what I was saying
About ego and being able to change is I know I’m not the best at everything but I also know I will outwork anybody to fix all of those areas and so to me being good enough is a death sentence because if you look good let’s say like
In a medium v-neck shirt you look good so where’s the incentive to work out well to me take your shirt off do you look great are you comfortable there and so that’s like that little Gap because most people only see you in your shirt so there’s no nobody’s pushing you to be
Better you look just good enough you know maybe it’s like a 15 BMI like you’re sitting there you’re like all right I’m all right don’t think about your finances well we’re ahead a little bit we’re not you know struggling so we’re good enough so there’s no incentive to do better
You don’t have to wait for your life to be on fire to go buy fire extinguishers you don’t have to let things break before you start to do the maintenance on them and so for us in foe that’s what the focus is do excellent things not good enough things it’s not the
Fraternity of good enough heavy I think there’d be a whole different Community I’m not gonna run that one because it would just be like okay okay you’re good enough you know you’re you’re just talking all these health problems I mean get a salary you’ll be good enough yeah it’s all right man
Nobody wants to be all right you know you don’t want it’s an all right relationship with my kids that’s an all right marriage I’ve got an all right sex life I’ve got an all right body like no man that’s that’s apathy that’s that’s giving up that’s an apathetic existence
That I can’t be a part of exactly and that’s fun I think that’s like one of the kind of nice things about that being guys is like once we find like a community like once we find like just like one person we can just look at and
Be like listen you’re out of shape like you don’t look well you tell me like you’re constantly tired like you need to do something like and if you don’t know this let’s figure it out let’s let’s do something about it let’s just not just keep talking about the same issue over
And over because guys kind of get it especially you know if you have more of that masculinity to you where you can kind of like like dude you’re a little bit of a dick most guys should be like okay fair enough and that’s pretty much all you
Need to do then it’s like okay well you know I’ll work on being less and then that way I’ll be if I’m last time be more of a man of Excellence well I mean I would say this is the embodiment of what you’re doing you know
A lot and I also because of your work I think that you’ve you’ve also been educated on a lot of things that people aren’t aware of about how like the mind works yes and so I think that’s why looking at just the way you go about things I’ve kind of whenever I engage
With people I’m like all right what’s what’s making them tick like how do they get to this and so I can kind of see like how you got to where you are and it’s interesting to see you not Just Having learned it because there’s a lot
Of people who know what right looks like right to learn how to apply it and working on your physicality working on being open about struggles and and helping others do the same what you’re doing by example is removing the shame that exists in their head and I think
You know that I think you understand that a lot of men are they’re embarrassed or they’re ashamed to to admit certain things but when you go at it from like hey this is a place to do that look at my timeline here’s here I am you’ve got the photos up you’ve got
Your content up like you’re putting yourself there to me that’s that’s how like when they say walk the talk that’s what you’re doing and so in in doing so I might be sure if you know you’re doing this but in doing this you’re giving them permission to to do this same in a
Manner that allows them to sort of get out of that way it’s like you’ve removed that obstacle from their head right only only not even doing anything for them just by doing something for yourself and the way that you phrase it they’re like oh well that solved that now I can start
To work on this and so it’s just you’re going about a really interesting way in a way that I really like because that’s how I I share my story and with flaws and features alike and so I go about in a very similar approach and to me it’s
Like I don’t even think there’s any other way to do it it’s just honesty this is just who I am where I’m at oh you’re a mess okay well then I’m gonna work on that mess thanks for pointing it out like I’m not gonna get upset I’m
Gonna fix it and so to me that’s that’s how you’re going about it and I think that if more were to take that approach of just here’s the real thing instead of trying to sell the thing to show the thing you’ll you’ll see a lot more people rapidly grow because one it’s
Authentic right but two it’s when when I get when you read a book about throwing a fastball you’re not really going to be a better pitcher when you go on a mound and pick up a ball and throw it in practice you’re now going to be a better
Pitcher you’re going out there and showing the Reps in the real world and not just explaining the theory you’re kind of doing both but I really like that approach well that’s why I always like to teach on the difference between knowledge and wisdom now just reading that book understanding how to throw a
Pitch that way you can watch the pictures and then the wisdom comes from Gaining the experience and actually going out and doing it so that’ll be going on the mountain throwing that ball from everything Moon from you know the book as well said so like that I’m gonna use
That go for it and you know that it actually took a lot for me to make actually that decision to be vulnerable because I’m like well how’s this going to go is the internet and it can go really really well or it could be a dumpster fire did you
How did you get over that hurdle because I think that’s a lot of men are there yeah well the internet’s gonna shame me well I started talking to this guy a little bit and he would tell me a little bit about his struggles and I made the decision of
Do I want to be myself do I want to be my 100 authentic self because there have been times where like you kind of like a chameleon because he kind of fit to different situations so I decided to just be my authentic self my quirky funny witty
You know kind of a little bit sarcastic but in a in a very positive way kind of manner that my role if I want to be a leader I have to lead by example it means I have to show something within me that wasn’t right and I have to go that’s why I
Showed when I was pushing you know 180. now I’m down to 170. yes and making that decision to show that and that’s okay to be vulnerable vulnerable is a strength you know but it’s being recognizing something within you that’s not right so that way you can
Go on doing Inspire others that’s why I love the depiction of it’s a leader where basically you have one leader who is sitting on his throne kind of whipping everyone to move along but then there’s the leader who’s actually guiding he’s guiding his troops he’s guiding his people that are following
Him and that’s him taking that risk of being vulnerable being open and so I made the decision if I’m going to be a leader if I’m going to be a servant leader and that’s why I focus on focus a lot on being a certain leader was that we versus I
Then I need to be vulnerable so that’s kind of how I got over that little stuff no that’s it’s a good approach man and I really like that story and I think that’s that’s what’s going to help most men is to recognize hey I’m trying to be
The person I think people will like instead of being myself right but it’s when you’re yourself you might have less people like you but those who do like you actually like you exactly you’re robbed of that connection when they like the person you’re pretending to be it’s
Like you have to keep an act up like if Tom Cruise like people look at him as um what is he Mission Impossible guy yeah and then you know Top Gun guy yep if they like that guy yeah but he’s Tom Cruise he’s not that guy those are roles
And so if you’re playing those roles in your life they’re not liking you the top the actors they’re liking the the parts that you play and that’s that’s that’s not sustainable for any sort of Life satisfaction that’s a really good analogy that’s what I really like that one it’s and it’s
Also see how we can exchange you can use that one hey B time Cruise not Maverick from Top Gun I couldn’t think of the name I was like the top gun guy yeah but that’s exactly it man and so when you look at these things I’ve actually recently shifted the way I
Explained it I used to say um like you said vulnerability is a strength yeah I’ve stopped viewing it as a strength I’ve started viewing it as a connecting tool I think that if you’re strong enough if you are a man who is strong then you’re strong enough to
Admit where you’re weak and the ability to do that allows you to connect with others they can better connect with you because they can see this man is so strong he can show me where I can hurt him knowing that he can take whatever hurt that I can deliver
And so that’s how I’ve I’m actually going to write a longer piece on this because it’s a little complicated and nuanced and only people like us who are into this type of stuff are really going to dive that deep but looking at this right exactly you know the the ability
Like for me sobriety by admitting that I had to give up alcohol that was me being vulnerable because I was telling people not only am I addicted to this but I can’t overcome it that’s a weakness that’s weak that’s not a strength but my ability to share that publicly knowing
Full well who I was what I stood for and the ground that I was standing on I Knew by putting this out publicly I was being vulnerable other people could relate oh shoot I struggle with that too I struggle maybe for them it’s it’s drugs maybe it’s pills whatever you know maybe
It’s like me it was booze I have that too but I’m afraid to tell anybody that so here this guy is telling them why can he do it but I can’t and all of a sudden they start to have this discussion I get a lot of DMs I got a DM this morning
Hey man I appreciate you standing up to Big booze you know I’ve been having a hard time with this what and I remember the question it’s something along the lines of like what what’s your first step to making it uh permanent or something like that I get these DMS all
The time because now men were able to connect with me because I was able to show that weakness and they felt comfortable enough to reaching out and saying how how can I do what you’re doing they’re not strong enough yet to do it on their own publicly I am and so
That’s how I can use myself as an example to help them reach that level and so it’s not that the vulnerability is the the strength it’s that it’s that’s how you’re connected with people you know I really like that connection and to share pain with everyone and that’s
What paintings should be used for now in comparison but as a connecting tool I like that you know it’s I’m I kind of nerd out Lord of the Rings you know smog he’s the big dragon he was missing a scale you know to be him and to show the whole
World hey dudes I got a scale missing if you hit this I die but guess what you’re not gonna hit it because I’m that hardcore I’m Gonna Keep flying around and do my thing to be strong enough to admit this is where you can hurt me and
Still not be afraid of it and ultimately did kill him but smog had issues probably dad issues Dad wasn’t around so we got that to deal with but looking at that I kind of look at that as the way to go about it like hey here’s my missing scales but you know
What I’m hardening them so there’s there’s a gap there but I’m building strength around it so much that the scales around it shrink it and so for my booze you can’t hurt me because I’m so comfortable with who I am and the way I live my life that even though you can
Say ah you can’t drink you know you’re an addict yeah that doesn’t phase me at all because look it in spite of that challenge here I am succeeding yeah you know and so that’s how I’ve lived my whole life man every obstacle has become an opportunity to show yeah what else
Can you throw my way I’ve beaten every statistic thus far I’m not going to stop now and that’s what I love I love it and again that’s what people get messed up in statistics like well statistically you’re more like this it’s like you Julius is just an average so to show how
Hard it is to overcome an addiction I work with people with addictions all day long and it’s a constant struggle constant where a lot of them they know I can take another step and so some of them have to attend AAA meetings literally like every single day
And I’m like good keep that helps you you go do that because again you’re being formed in the connection of other people who are doing the exact same thing of maintain their sobriety taking care of themselves having a sponsor and doing all these different variables that they need to do to keep themselves
Safe and clean and it’s a place where they can connect you know we’re talking about the community before yeah you know and you’re saying hey you know a lot of Statistics are the average again it’s not the paternity of average the family average it’s the family Alpha
It’s the leader it’s a fraternity of Excellence being excellent you know so for every man it’s look you don’t want to be average so stop trying to act like the statistics says you should act be better than that and I know that’s that’s a it comes across as like that
Bro would be tougher don’t be weak but honestly it’s just I’m being honest you have to be stronger than the weakest thing that’s calling to you I had to be stronger than booze and my peer group I had to be stronger than any sort of societal influence I had to be stronger
Than the voice in my head and saying nah go drink it man you’re good jogging really and you know putting down a man when you look at him it’s like look you’re nothing what do you mean you can’t overcome this I think it’s when
You kind of put a guy down and make him feel like dirt even less than dirt you know like the scum the Earth really I think it’s when guys do that that’s when I would I would rather have someone come and be like listen you’re not leading
How you say would do versus again being average or okay and just making someone feel okay or putting down okay nothing like look at you you Hypocrites like everyone’s a hypocrite to a degree we live in a very perfect world who are imperfect people let’s have compassion
For people and another thing too is that we need to recognize and we need to do this more is guys it’s really and I that’s why I love your community and how much it’s grown and the accountability is that we need each other and we’re so like there’s a lot of guys
Who don’t have a lot of guy friends when you I would say that is the biggest plague to men yes the men you look at most of the men that join so for me I left the military and that was one of the driving forces to both writing the book and
Creating the community I need a Brotherhood I need a camaraderie that’s me right and so when you look at it as to what you’re saying a lot of The Men Who join they left the police they left firefighters they left a college sports team they left a Fraternal Order and
They missed it so they find it with us the other group they never had it and they see what the men are doing and they’re like wow like you guys are doing all this stuff because you’re around men who do that type of stuff and so for me
It’s those are kind of like the two classes coming in there’s ver there’s I don’t know if there is a third you had it you lost it and you want it or you never had it and you want it and so they come together and they see some stumble
Across us and they’re like I didn’t know this was something even needed in my life and so your point there in that connection actually that’s what I was going to bring up you know myself Anthony miglarino and Jeff Higgins we’ve recently created a public open uh Summit that we’re running it’s called the
Mission of excellence and so basically what we’re doing is we’re taking the stories we’re taking them the mindset and the methods within Foe and we’re putting it on stage publicly and we’re running this we actually ran our first one about two weeks ago yeah I’m sitting there standing in this hotel
Like the room that we had blocked off delivering this message these guys are sitting there and at the end of it we ran a panel it was a q a and so understand this entire thing we paid for it so money’s on the line our times on the line we’re traveling
All on a hope that this would work I’ve never run a convention I’ve never run a summit I’ve never run anything in public I’ve run like Retreats for the men in foe but that’s a different beast that’s not standing up and delivering a presentation that’s going out in the
World and just doing [ __ ] together and so here were is the three of us sitting at that panel and man after man after man started asking those taboo questions well what about my marriage if this happens this is a stranger I’ve never met this dude before right next guy he
Was talking about he was coming up in a year of sobriety and asked me a question about how kind of it it clicked in my head next guy what happens if I’m doing this and you know my wife or our parenting methods are these super taboo things were brought up and dude I
Slammed the table and I was like it’s freaking happening what we set out to do to get these men to start opening up in front of other men it was happening and so it that was one of like the highlights I mean it’s very early in the
Year but that is like the highlight of my year so far to see to hear those men ask those questions I realize that as you just said when you bring men into a group where other men can open up and share real discussion and they can speak to
The speakers who share real topics you see that Bond formed like that all they need is permission to be a man around men and so we’re actually running our next one on October 14th so you’ll be seeing a lot of content drop in there but we’re actually going big we’ve got a
Few speakers lined up and I’m just pumped to release that one so mission of Excellence stay tuned baby awesome I love it I love that you know you’re making this sort of impact you know that’s why I really focus on is making an impact helping one person at a
Time one life at a time and helping one guy know that hey being just to raise your hand is brave enough right yeah it is an excellent move to raise your hand I should say that rather and then to then ask the question because when you ask a question you better prepared
Because you just opened the door so you’re gonna get a can of worms what’s supposed to come out there were three of us up there man and so everyone that asked a question all three of us were like Bam Bam Bam and so it was cool guys
Like oh crap but it was in the best of ways because afterwards we had like a discussion we went to a cigar lounge whatever and we’re hanging out and he’s like that was legit like you guys really went after it like you didn’t hold back anything he’s like but that’s what I
Needed because everybody else around me in my life would dance around the main thing because you know like I said the conditioning that’s going on you’re not allowed to talk about certain things where the three of us were like no we’re gonna tell you the truth we’re gonna
Tell you what we’ve done it’s there’s very little Theory being given here it’s it’s majority experience combined with like knowledge attained I know this works this is not theoretically how it works I’ve applied this I’ve used it here are the results now you can take it
Tweak it your way because your kids are different than mine your life your history your marriage those are unique to you so do it your way but stay focused on this core element and you will find success and connection and dude it’s just great to see him do it and as you said
If we can get men to start raising their hands even online yes if you can get men to reach out to you on Twitter hey what do you think about this that act alone is sometimes is courageous enough for them to actually get things in gear and
So it’s just a wonderful thing and again back to this and not to keep tooting your horn but the fact that you’re doing this it shows that you’re putting the content out there all they have to do is like walk in the door you’ve already opened it for them just listen to the
Podcast you have questions ask you’ve made it so clear for them that I I don’t see anything you’ve removed all resistance oh wow that that means a lot whatever just like you I work incredibly hard you know working uh sometimes 10 12 hour day easily and then trying to produce as
Much content as I can just to make that impact help because in my mind and this came from probably one of my favorite guys to watch is Eric Thomas E.T the hip-hop preacher I just I love that guy because it is energy and like what he brings out he
Goes you know you need to give 120 if you want to do something you need to like he was talking like a story about how he felt bad because he didn’t have a video out by like let’s say 4 am like the next day that there was some mess up
He didn’t get now it wasn’t released to like let’s say a couple hours later because in his mind there’s someone who out there who’s up at 4am who’s looking for content someone who needs his message and so that’s always always at the Forefront of my mind and that’s why I really try
To tell people it’s like be intentional be specific and go after it like you have to have a plan and you have to do the best that you can and understand you’re going to fail a whole bunch and you’re gonna make a whole bunch you can
Make you can spend four or five hours on a video and they only get six views but guess what one of you because one person who trusted you to at least give your content you know an attempt and and a group of Twitter I put one followers someone who’s willing to put
Their life into your hands because I know a lot of people get so consumed over the following amount oh no I only have it’s like you have like you could have like 50 people it’s like that’s 50 real people okay maybe two Bots will give people the benefit of the depth
But it’s 50 it’s 48 people I’d say who’s willing to give you a shot to see what you’re about to see if you can make their lives just a little bit better whether it’s brighten up their day with some humor whether it’s putting down some knowledge and some facts and some fire
And this is this is exactly why I write content the way I write it is I I always try to remember that there’s a person on the other side of the screen and I think if more people were to approach it like that they would they would have a better
Understanding as to how to share their story or how to improve their life like there are people who go online for the sole purpose of causing chaos but a majority of people are good people and they’re online because they want to learn something now whether they can overcome their preconceived notion as to
What right is that’s a different story right a lot of good people who think that their way is the way and they’re not open to change so those people it’s it’s a little different because I’m like look I’m not here to change your mind I’m here to show you my story if you
Want to change your mind go ahead if you don’t I’m not here to sit and debate with you online I’ve got a life to live but looking at it from that angle when you put out content that can help with content that can improve not just entertain and specifically if that’s
Your goal if your goal is just to grow followers man just drop the memes drop the videos like make people laugh you’ll grow that’s just not my Approach I’m trying to run a brand that actually helps people similar to yourself and it must be in the Zacks because we got Zach
Hommel who’s out here doing this and doing really well but we’re here to help people and so therefore our message has to be catered to that and from there that means our mindset has to be focused around it’s not about the followers it’s about the impact I would rather
I think I have like 33 000 right now I would rather 33 000 followers that watch and listen and apply what I do than 333 000 Who Don’t Do Anything and don’t engage don’t change because I’m like I’m trying to work with people not just be
In charge of people or be a perceived Authority I promise I’m telling you right now man I’ve never come off a podcast and had my wife or kids say oh I love you so much because of how many followers you have on Twitter like no I’ve never had my wife say I’m so
Attracted to you because you have a hundred thousand followers on Twitter like that’s not a thing man 20 000 followers because of that one they look at me you know all of a sudden I’m Mr bravado machismo over here I got 30 000 followers like no man that’s not how it
Works in the real world so that’s I don’t ever get that confused like that’s grow don’t grow I don’t care I’m gonna keep writing creating my content I try to do so in effective manner because as you grow you can reach more people so I do like high quality content but in no
Way is that my metric of success right it’s a small amount show that people in you getting a little bit notice and then that just gives you more that you know that fire to keep on going that okay cool more lives of potentially being impacted I mean it’s either that
Or it’s just a huge cope and I’m just making myself feel better you know one of those things you tell me you’re so you can analyze me you know it’s one of those areas open the door get the notepad ready well we got a bunch of books behind you
So at least you can always go back to back let’s see if he’s right yeah no it’s good man but I think honestly that also leads to sustainability you know when we talk about men wanting to be better men well you’ve got to do so in a sustainable manner so that means
You can’t go balls to the wall on your workouts and you can’t flip your marriage over and you can’t start coming down to the kids differently you’ve got to take gradual steps that are permanent in the right direction and that’s over time those one degree adjustments will
Turn your life 360. and that’s why I see people I think kind of make a mistake actually because I say this all the time in my practice is that people want to change now and they want to change everything a lot of people list 20 different things in 10 seconds right I’m
Like awesome one of the top two things that you want to improve upon just two because if you do I found if you do more than three it’s too much and we focus on not an SAU but maybe three to six months so it’s like how can we improve in three
To six months about one or two areas that you hit hard I mean you have hard you come we talk about it and we improve it and I that’s how I approach the warrior Kings the same thing you know I had guys list a whole wild
Zoom goals so I did a lesson on goals and all of a sudden guess what their goals are amazing they’re succinct they’re put together they’re not doing too much where you’re gonna burn yourself out so focus on doing the small increment change that’s why I love the notion of
Get one percent better whether that’s a day whether that’s a week it just means you’re trying even if you just try you’re doing you’re speaking Marvels people what is it they they overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a
Month yeah yeah so they have these Grand Visions but it’s like just get the small things right man yeah you know for me like to to dial in my health to dial in my my relationship like just my life in general I had to start looking at like one to
Two to three areas like you’re saying those three things yeah it’s like all right let me work on these like let me get more consistent with Fitness let me make sure I’m dedicating time to my mental health which bled into the sobriety and then just let me ensure
That I’m balancing my time because there was a time where I was burning out from doing all the things I do oh sure I was trying to be everything for everyone and I was doing it but it was at the expense of like my insides and that led to the
Drinking to calm the brain down because I didn’t know how to health turn it off in a healthy manner I didn’t have any good coping mechanisms and so like I kind of had to reevaluate it put it all in front of me kind of like you know
Iron Man when he could like pull the screen in and pull the things out I was doing that with my life on the guardian if I get rid of booze then I can bring in healthier connection if I bring in healthier connection I can be more
Peaceful if I’m more peaceful then I can better connect and deliver my message and so I basically had to deconstruct then reconstruct how I went about being Zach small and in doing so it helped me understand that for me to get to the level I wanted to get to I had to start
Acting like command who deserves that level and so that led to a lot of changes you know I’m still I’m always changing I’m always looking to recruit in this conversation the things I’m listening from you I’m like all right where can I better tweak that or how can
I apply that to my life you know what can I do to make me better right and so it’s just it’s a continuous pursuit of Excellence it’s a continuous evolution of self and I’ll do this till I die there’s no product to reach or end destination it’s literally the the
Process of building that my focus is on that is the purpose of life right I love it I love it yeah Serge I just love like hearing like I love like watching content completely different experience like just listening how passionate you are because I can tell there’s so much
Passion you write but when you speak speak from a place of authority confidence Integrity you know someone who knows what’s really like to go from you’re down in the dumps to now being that King you know being that Warrior being that man of action who really
Wants to just not help improve your life and knowing that your life needs to be improved but want to help bring along other men whether it’s 5 10 20 a thousand what have you it’s a beautiful thing because as you do that you start to see and again I’m
Keeping myself somewhat restrained if we do this live man oh man I just let loose so I’m trying to keep the volume and the energy to a podcast appropriate level right I think I’ve done pretty well so far yeah cursing down so I’ve not sworn I’ve not yelled at this point we’ve been
At this for 47 minutes I’m trying not to trip at the Finish Line man and so I’m looking at this as just another way of when you go out and you have these discussions and you share yourself with them the way I look at this it’s that you were talking about the one
Man hundred man thousand men yeah it one man properly impacted like one man you make a genuine connection with and you help them improve their life that man can go out and impact ten thousand men oh without a doubt and that that motivates the heck out of me yeah that
Push I’m trying that drives me so hard dude because I think about similar to what you’re saying about Eric Thomas who I would go Toe to Toe with on motivation any day I would love to just like you know how like there are rap battles I’ll do a motivation battle against that man
Put me him and Tony Robbins in a room dude unless you who can motivate the audience I will get them pumped but that’s like one of my like Daydreams looking at this from the angle of just impacting men and doing what it is we do
You know I know that that’s why I still write that’s why I create content that’s why on my sub stack I went a day from from August 18th all the way until February 1st a post every single day to create a swarm of content I could rely
On to put out to the masses and then now I can focus it and do instead of like the machine gun I’m making sure we’re hitting everybody the sniper rifle who are the main ideas out there or what are the main struggles what are the main issues now let’s hit those specifically
And so you create the archive and then you go out and you get the specific topics the family Alpha my blog I created a huge archive now I’m focusing more on the podcast to have the specific discussions with subject matter experts I’ve already written about fatherhood I’ve already written about Mary I’ve
Already done those things so what I can do now is speak to a man who can bring new elements to that discussion or on the sub stack I can write about new aspects on that specific thing that I see people struggling with and so when you work it from that angle it’s very
Intentional to help those who need it most and that’s why you’ll see as you go through this the more episodes that you rack up you start to speak about different things and all of a sudden it evolves to where you realize they need to hear about this more than that more
You know meat and less Sizzle you can make very entertaining content but it doesn’t help anybody or you can make content that maybe doesn’t have as many Bells whistles and colors but it will literally change a life and that’s and that’s the whole purpose of this is to
Help men become action takers again versus just living mundane and that’s what and I’ve learned all right so much this is the I believe the tenth one but I’ve already learned so much like I had uh if you follow named Norman no oh well he’s a he’s a good guy that
Produces a lot of good content but he talks a lot about the gray man you know the guy not living in color the guy just living coasting through life and that’s just a concept that has really stuck out where you just kind of coasting you know you’re like go to work
Then you go home and it’s just like oh yeah that was so you said Nate Norman I thought you said Nate Gorman Nate Norman yes I had to look it up I’m like that sounds really familiar so I checked his name really quick yes sorry now if you’re watching this
No no definitely follow me and I agree with you you know that’s one of those things where many people like like you just said it and it rolled off your tongue there were there were millions of men who don’t even know they’re in that Loop yeah and here you are it’s so
Common to you it makes so and you say it to me I’m like yeah dude like I’ll be I get it Nate gets it but these men out here it’s not that they’re doing it intentionally right they don’t know they need they need a podcast like this
To be like oh crap he’s talking to me like that man is speaking of I’m in that Loop wake up miserable sleep in as long as you can go to work drive home miserable you relax at home by drinking or whatever it is put on Netflix then go
To sleep then go back to work nowhere in there is there life satisfaction being developed nowhere in there is their Connection in marriage nowhere in there are you becoming a better man nowhere in there is a focus on physical or spiritual Fitness nowhere in there are
You being the best man you could be to live the best life you could live you’re just in a loop of redundancy without progress and unfortunately until someone unless someone wakes you up from that you’re going to die inside that Loop thinking that at 65 and retired you can be happy right
Exactly and it’s I I wrote as a piece called I think it was hollowed suits it was like one of my earliest pieces because you saw these men walking around in these suits but they were Hollow like the man wasn’t there it’s just a business suit to work and a business
Suit home and there’s nothing inside there’s no fire there’s no passion there’s no love there’s no masculine I wanted to conquer it just didn’t exist and so it’s like what what are you you’re just a hollow suit you know you’re you’re just a skin bag but where’s the man where’s that fire being
A man why is that gone there’s no reason for you to think that because you have a job in X Y or Z that you are defined by that job you are a man act like it oh man we gotta we gotta do a live segment
At some point whether oh dude I’m always done we gotta do something because I want to see you just like raw authentic and real and we’re just like we’ll call it the uncensored talk or something like that no I’m done dude the uncensionists yeah yeah that one I’m just gonna let loose
So as we kind of wrap up things here first of all thank you Father knowledge I mean you’ve really helped me you can grow up today and the one expert I’m really going to take away from this is really that vulnerability being that more that connection piece I mean that’s
Out of this entire thing that’s what’s really one of the many things but it’s one of the top things that really stood out to me just in the conversation we had over the last about hour so what would you what what’s like what’s the last like statement comment that you want to make
To speak into someone’s life today yeah I mean if you’re listening to this that means that there’s something about it that that pulled you to the content and kept you on the content and so if you’re going to listen to content like this then you’ve got to understand that
You want to be better but you’re not going to improve At All by sitting and listening to the podcast you’re going to improve by ending this podcast taking what it is we spoke about and going forward in your life and applying it that’s a critical element to this and so
Whether you’re listening to David Goggins Jordan Peterson Joe Rogan like all these guys educating you in these things you know huberman lab you know he’s a big one that’s recently popped up yeah this we sit and we speak about all these topics nothing changes until you
Take it and apply it so take what we’ve spoken about today and go apply it that’s the greatest thing you can do for both of the Zacks here is to go out and be a better man it’s not about saying oh thank you so much Zach no it’s like no
Go live your best life that is the things and if you’re going to be that action taker if you’re going to be that man of action in the comments below put a hand up raise a hand and so that way you’re saying that you’re going to be the difference you’re
Ready to reclaim your life you’re ready to go from inaction to action and you’re ready now you just need to do the most scariest thing in the world but the most courageous thing remember courage is when we face that which we fear as one of the best movies ever made in Coach Carter
It’s your light that scares you the most versus the fear so I want to thank everyone for watching this don’t be that man of action go reclaim your life by starting today tomorrow’s not promised we all know tomorrow’s not a promise so let’s start today do the very best you can don’t
Quit don’t give up and get one percent better each and every day again my name is Zach Goodman got Zach’s mom here and you know what the Zack attacks always bring the fire and now it’s time for that fire to be lit inside you for you to become the best version have a
Blessed day
source
