Ridiculousness
– THE MOOD IS INFECTIOUS AND EXCITING TODAY AS PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE CELEBRATE BECOMING THE SEVENTH STATE TO LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE. WE’RE HERE TALKING TO EXCITED COUPLES ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL ON THIS HISTORIC DAY. OH, HI. – HI, HI. UH, YEAH, IT’S A VERY HISTORIC DAY FOR CIVIL RIGHTS.
– WHOO! – AND FOR GAY AMERICANS. AND AMERICANS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY– – WHOO! WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED! YEAH! – WELL, YOU KNOW, WAIT– – [screams] – WE SAID THAT IT WOULD BE A CONVERSATION, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BECAUSE WE DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS GONNA PASS SO DARN FAST.
– OH, MY GOD! – SO ARE YOU GUYS A COUPLE? – [laughs] ARE WE A COUPLE? COME ON, GIRL, LET’S GET SERIOUS. – NO, IT’S JUST SO FAST. – MY NAME IS LASHAWN. AND THIS IS RIGHT HERE IS MY “SAMWICH.” – IT’S, UH, SAMUEL, YEAH. – [laughs] AND WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED! YEAH!
– THAT’S SO GREAT. HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN TOGETHER? – WELL, WE’VE BEEN– – THREE YEARS. IT’S BEEN FOREVER, WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER! – IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE PERSON– – WHO IS THE BRIDE? I AM THE BRIDE. DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO! [laughs] – OH, WELL TELL US ALL ABOUT YOUR PLANS.
– YOU KNOW, WE NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER SO THERE’S NOT ANY PLANS– – OH, YEAH! PIECE OF PAPER! WE’RE GONNA GET THAT PIECE OF PAPER, SAMMY! – YEAH, YEAH. – THAT PIECE OF PAPER! – WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS WILL GET MARRIED?
– WELL YOU KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF HIDDEN COSTS IN A WEDDING– – OH, EVERYWHERE! WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED OVER HERE AND OVER THERE AND IN THE SKY AND ON A CLOUD. – OH, WOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT’S GONNA BE A BIG WEDDING.
– WELL, YOU KNOW IT’S JUST A CONVERSATION THAT WE HAVE– – GIRL, WE’RE GONNA RENT THE MOON AND FILL IT WITH ROSES! [screams] – WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE THINK IT’S FAIR TO EVEN GET MARRIED WHEN IT’S STILL ILLEGAL IN SO MANY OTHER STATES–
– OH, MY GOD! YOU SEE? LOOK AT HIM! THAT’S MY MAN WITH HIS BIG HEART. I’M SORRY, MY HUSBAND. YOU MY HUSBAND NOW. – WELL, WE JUST– – YOU MY HUSBAND NOW, BITCH. – OKAY, WE JUST DON’T WANNA RUSH INTO ANYTHING, BECAUSE STUFF GETS OVERTURNED. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN CALIFORNIA.
– BABY I’M GONNA GET A 14-KARAT RING THE SIZE OF 14 MOTHER[bleep] CARROTS. THAT’S WHAT’S UP, DOC! [smacking lips] – WELL, YOU TWO CERTAINLY SEEM EXCITED. – YEAH, DO WE SEEM EXCITED? – OH, YEAH, YEAH. – OH, OKAY. – CONGRATULATIONS. I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER.
– WE JUST–WE REALLY JUST DIDN’T THINK IT WAS GONNA PASS. – WE’RE GONNA HAVE A HOUSE THAT’S SHAPED LIKE A UNICORN AND WE’RE GONNA HAVE FIVE LITTLE GIRLS. THEIR NAMES ARE GONNA BE ETNIE, CAROUSEL, SEQUIN, ABERCROMBIE, AND PHANTOM. AND WE’RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE DOG NAMED RUFFALO.
AND THE DOG GONNA HAVE A CAT NAMED MYRIAD. [intense newscast music]
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