Assassin’s Creed Brotherthood (1) – Fatal Fraternity

I will get it in the oven here we go Ah oh my god i just killed a kid oh man i will follow that dick to the ends of the earth i’ll be right on you earl get the jizz on your back oh the [ __ ] oh dear oh [ __ ] no no trevor no oh god yeah i’m

A woman with a dick sir oh he’s gone your tail is majestic like a cape oh god i’m a train oh i’ve got elder blood i’ve got tits and a vagine i’ve got mountain Here we go ready it won’t be quiet Hey barbara welcome back with drunken plays it’s monday well i i i always do is it’s my tuesday but hey i’ll tell you what if everywhere’s britain on monday then we’re going to make this monday last a little bit longer oh i’m saying we meant to start half hour ago ideally

I mean the show i had 10 minutes i was setting everything up i was like yeah brilliant i could start dead on [ __ ] 1am nice one but no it didn’t happen did it why because ubisoft’s a [ __ ] [ __ ] uh i had to uh in the end found a

[ __ ] solution online i just had to go into users find the [ __ ] saved games folder find assassin’s creed brotherhood and add my own saved game or just saves folder because apparently they’re just too inept to do it themselves i restart steven holy [ __ ] it [ __ ] started i

Was sat there i was wearing up the options i got is it going to be bloody whiplash or something for you god do something you know what i mean retro gamers waiting in the chat speaking of which who have we got in the chat retrofgamer says hi everybody before

Throwing a thousand berry booze mate said hey drunken hey red shroff i mean hell we’ve got a [ __ ] hype drink going already and i’ve only just bloody got it this is [ __ ] incredible that we’ve got san miguel in the chat as well time to get stabby and he ain’t wrong because

Today we’re starting off assassin’s creed brotherhood we’ve done one or as it was just known at the time assassin’s creed we’ve done two without zeo auditory difference and his dead little brother and now we’re on to 2.5 because there is an assassin’s creed iii but this ain’t it [ __ ] this is brotherhood

It boasts around 15 hours of gameplay for the story mode so i’m thinking this is going to be what about 30 hours because you know what we’re like guys we like to get [ __ ] done uh you know 100 percent uh but also as efficient as possible and sometimes in order to be

Efficient you got to take your goddamn time aren’t you you got to take your time uh retro was saying uh what would fix the game was some duck tape duck tape but is it made of ducks uh you know [ __ ] hell it’s good stuff it’s very expensive you

Should see the bill akira subscribing with prime for the sixth month on a one month streak thank you very much akira you’ve been a bit of a legend tonight mate love it we’ve got daryl odell out there as well he’s posting some stickers it’s all looking [ __ ] good old man

Enfield duct tape the binding of the gods if only we were to be able to bind to god then i might be on time for something peter saw us throws a hundred bits with a little bit of salt a little dash of salt thank you peter saurus

Uh daryl oh subscriber tier one oh sorry uh giving a tier one sub to pinky ah but pinky wasn’t subscribed what a [ __ ] peter saw us throw out another hundred bits with a cake and homer’s odyssey with a hundred bits himself thank you very much peter soros and homer’s

Odyssey and you tell him steve dave’s grabbing the t-1 for the 16th bump saying i need these s-ranked notes in my life followed up by the drunk or no feeling froggy cheeky save diamond geezer nah the queen and a lime saying thank you very much mate thank you very much buddy

I’m putting my kids through college except over here it’s called university and i don’t have any kids daryl i’m slapping a birthday cake on the screen for another 100 bits as well more cake oh you guys are fattening me up aren’t you [ __ ] lovely right so here’s right assassin’s creed brotherhood right it’s

A it was a bra brand new brand new brand new start is it it’s a new day it’s a new dawn it’s still monday and britain it’s assassin’s creed uh also uh i’ve still got that one up for uh yeah yeah yeah farts is right farts is right let me gain capture working

Oh dear well this isn’t good is it wait is it this it i’ve not made a thumbnail yet for assassin’s creed look it’s on this screen it just ain’t on that screen okay all right so i guess with what i started then it’s then it’s now it’s going ah do you know what

You’re not allowed to do here let me yeah let me let me see if i can do something with this uh a second there guys daryl with the farts that’s retro with the farts hey i deserve it not to not not the 100 bits not necessarily the f don’t no don’t

Fart on me is what i’m saying i don’t deserve that i don’t deserve to be farted on no one deserves to be farted on unless they’re really into it hurricane thrown 100 bits and i can’t wait for you to get assassin’s creed black flag get two sorry rouge and syndicate because pirates treachery

And england and i’ve got i don’t think i’ve got rouge um but i’ve definitely got black flag and syndicate so that’s uh so that’s nice all right my game capture isn’t actually showing anything huh this is odd no this is very weird nothing’s coming up I wonder what that means all right i’ll try one more thing uh at the very least then uh it’s going to be a case of they’ll just be uh activate windows thing in the corner [Laughter] That might have to be what we’re gonna do to be honest yeah for some reason uh it’s it’s not showing look i mean look i’ll show you i’ll show you it’s uh it’s not doing anything it’s not doing anything so i guess i will just uh capture the screen

The [ __ ] is game vision oh oh yeah oh i made that i never used it yeah okay all right right right okay right Sorry about this guys retrofit and again with taiwan sub to uh go with him one name and retro gift undertale once up to homer’s odyssey as well that is sixty percent of level two of the hype train with a minute to go and i haven’t done this [ __ ] because [ __ ] ain’t [ __ ] happening

I swear i okay let’s create a new one retro i’ll give to the table some to commander root retroff coming in with a big dick energy uh daryl give to the tier one sub to james b 1968 we got a war going on retro

Get to the tier one sub to add a banana ten the 170th gift in the chat jesus christ God am i that right i think i might have it oh my oh there it is ah guys ladies and gentlemen we got him we got him ah all right so it’s gonna look a bit messy because there is gonna be a [ __ ] um activate windows thing in the bottom

Her retro says is everyone subbed everyone’s something no no a lot of people aren’t subbed cheap [ __ ] daryl says not much of a war i’m gonna lose right let’s see if we’ve got this guys here we go it’s in full screen yeah i mean we’ll look we’ll deal with

It later we’ll deal with it later desmond you’ll be joking man yes the name is uh um oh let’s think of a cool name millard sexy man nice nice likes to wake up one morning and find themselves caught in the middle of a war between two secret organizations two no i didn’t

But here i am on one they’re in the business of control politics economics technology they won’t stop until every single one of us serves them until i activate windows apparently fighting against them are the assassins a group dedicated to safeguarding humanity’s free will previously on assassin’s creed born into the brotherhood

A couple of weeks ago the templars found me they took me prisoner strapped me into a machine they built and put me to work it’s called anonymous dab those graphics where i spent most of my time oh we’ve gone back to the xbox original discovering entire lives locked deep

Inside 360. that’s 360. first i revisited the life of altair ebin an assassin from oh the templar is one of the location of something known as a piece of eden an ancient artifact capable of once the templars had what they were looking for they decided my usefulness two in the

United kingdom i saw that one in scotland loose of it saved me lucy when things were at their worst she revealed herself to being assassinated thankfully everyone attacked us with sticks instead of guns that would be the end of my misadventures but we were just getting started back into another animus i went Now i’m reliving the memories my ancestor from the renaissance searching for a path forward just through the bleeding effect just only becoming your empathy more than just me it will come in handy and then the headaches start to enslave us all they found us they’ve crashed our hideout and we’re

Fleeing the scene looking for a place to hide danny [ __ ] you there isn’t it and time is running short my name is miles this is my story i hate you when they do that my name is desmond miles my name is peter parker why do they do that oh [ __ ] kick it off

Bro oh my bad ass fighting wars and [ __ ] let everyone go for the guy wearing white oh you’ll go get it go go get it and now i’m going to stab you in the neck the neck sir oh oh he’s wearing neck armor and here i am here’s my horse’s butt

His name is fuckerfuck brazil i just got an achievement go me ah the sun oh [ __ ] to echo hype train guys thank you very much to everyone who took part now you get a cool emote next to your name to let everyone know you’re a cool guy seriously though i do appreciate the

Sport thank you very much i’ve already done this let me make me do it again all right we’ve got a bit of a got a bit of information right yeah yeah i i mean i’ve been around since the 1400s 1459 specifically summer love uh well well this experience has been quite the

Education oh wait no hang on no it’s not headset tuck your shirt in your scruffy [ __ ] although there’s nothing in the history books following at zeo’s disappearance from florence as a teenager after the execution of his father and brothers one of them was really small we we now know that he fled

With his mother maria and sister [ __ ] to his uncle mario’s tuscan villa yeah it’s me mario i lost my [ __ ] trained there as an assassin he prepared to hunt down the templars the men behind the execution and hunt them he did killing the one by one i’m pretty sure i killed like

At the very least two at a time many times until he reached their leader rodrigo borgia oh i hate rodriguez with the help of his uncle and the other assassins he discovered rodrigo’s plan to open an ancient vault beneath the vatican supposedly leading to god himself why would they keep him underground zeo

Defeated rodrigo entering the vault alone and communed with the projection of minerva a member of an ancient race that existed before humans that all sounds very far-fetched when i write it out like that now doesn’t it fortunately we have the animus records to prove it so we didn’t dream it anything unless we’re

All in a big dream right now maybe we are game is it meant to be doing that is that because i’m in the matrix like is it meant to be doing that because because like when i started the game the [ __ ] logo was like shaking around and

[ __ ] i’m like is it meant to be doing that because it’s a game about life being glitchy isn’t it is it meant to be doing that see that i said you should have [ __ ] killed him her hero [ __ ] Subscribing for six month tier two welcome to the tier two club hakira now you get a special tier two remote go ahead use At least i know where it is oh wait mine the lifter are the balls going up i’m in the lift runner dragon in the chat without moving our dragon oh god i’m in one of those he’s gonna crush me in it that seemed unnecessary there was already a wall there

Better in the hands of the earth than in the hands of man what does that mean oh wait what can i say yeah i’ll climb up because i can just climb up wait i know i can climb up balls but uh uh all right is it meant to be doing that

Is it meant to be doing that right let’s just [ __ ] let’s just let’s go climb oh wait hang on uh oh there you go all right uh do my spider-man thing ah seems it seems it’s been a very long time that i’ve climbed up an unclimbable wall in a shaky universe

Yeah i seemed alright you would not believe the things i have seen mario yeah and how my actually changed i might hear of them i expect opposition and i expect the borgia to mourn the loss of many lives tonight and i can’t believe it’s not butter are we gonna get the stick

I guess not all right no that’s a wall i shouldn’t sprint one-handed it’s like running and texting you just don’t do it you know akira says yo no that’s glitching that’s glitching all right god will see you pay for your crimes we’ll do what we can have desecrated the

Sanctity of this holy place if you’re watching our laptop just shake the screen every time it glitches we must go it’s here now all right let’s go now gentlemen oh no yeah that yeah i don’t seem right does it i don’t seem right i beat you mate come on

Get me out of this place because otherwise we’re gonna have to restart the game and i gotta do all this [ __ ] again so let’s just [ __ ] get on barely my armor blunted his attack it oh god the red people can i kill him kill the red guy ah

Can’t kill him see he’s got red on his like in his clothes already so no one would even notice you know fight what who am i fighting wait in this glitch what are you doing ah [ __ ] oh my god what’s going on oh my look like god flawless kill streak

Akira says every time there’s queen shakes you drink oh [ __ ] it out we’re gonna end up in hospital aren’t we me and you hagera we got this there was no need to do that uncle mario pushed him so hard the game broke i just wanted to climb a wall

On my terms you know come on what the [ __ ] just happened there all right car nice item i know i healed myself instead right yeah brilliant it’s not like riding the bike you know Hurry up may jesus get old mario Oh luigi mate he’s boning peach right now because you’re so old me first [Laughter] oh god that is he fell off oh no mario i’m sorry oh my god That made it up to you all right i’m sorry about that i didn’t i didn’t mean to dirt i’m sorry all right all right let’s do it again let’s dig in that was that was that was entirely my fault but i made fun of him then i pushed him off a building

I don’t i’m not the good guy in this game am i i really don’t think i am yeah that’s all right it’s fine when i do it Oh [ __ ] Right which of you [ __ ] what oh [ __ ] out all right maybe it’s the glitching maybe it’s working in my favor you know come on hurry up mario they’re looking for us mate i don’t want to end up having to push you off a building again but i will i’ll [ __ ] do it mario

Why don’t you use your double jump piece of [ __ ] it’s he’s old i can forgive him he’s old oh [ __ ] it oh yeah we’re glitching we’re just just a bunch of glitchy glitchy boys and i’m letting mario get ahead we’re going to climb the tower he’s going to hold my hand

Oh darylo sticking a phasmaphobia stick you [ __ ] a lot of things went through my head then that was a ghost but i’m not playing a ghost game which means it must be in the house [Applause] this decision is yours alone to make only do so quickly i don’t know how oh wait give it to me you can do with it as you will later benny yeah i’ll look after it for you yeah great it’s like the one ring mate what oh button Did i just harmonize with the game [ __ ] hell i am very talented assassin’s creed brotherhood guys it’s a bit shaky it’s shaky but we like it you long hair [ __ ] a disaster that occurred long ago and another that is coming sometime then i’ll go i’ll go fix the glitch

I’ll try i’ll do my best we’re looking at a restart oh man enfield suggests running in compatibility mode but which one how many compatibility compatibility modes are there surely it should already be in uh up here we upgraded the giant and it is now customary for you to fire

Cannonballs at visitors my apologies we only installed them a few days ago my men are still being trained a couple of misfires a couple of maimings that kid died yeah it’s all in good fun all right so i’m not i’m not permitted to go faster than anything but a walk

It’s the graphics man they’re holding me back oh man anfield says windows xp service pack three oh yeah okay that’s gonna take a hot minute go [ __ ] find the [ __ ] see that’s why i don’t play bully anymore to stop it from crashing out to switch uh windows service pack every now and

Again he’s not on his horse he’s brilliant welcome back and uh and and then it just stops running uh on the stream let me see so i have to do it by catching or capturing the actual screen these players just like we are now but then you get this ugly activate

Windows on this it’s very unprofessional very unprofessional brother claudia cloudy hall it is good to be home it was my [ __ ] mother she’s fine i i heard you were returning but i’m gonna have to find those [ __ ] statues again is here to welcome you i had no idea you were so famous catharina

Here is it finished then is the spaniard truly dead gather the others in my stomach no no you run away when everything there still yourself hits you they will have many questions claudia contessa i look forward to seeing her this year earthquake all right so nobody you know says i just

Fiddle with the uh graphics first okay we’re confident with graphics maybe it’ll be here oh oh you can’t normally uh before you want to go to the main map i enjoy some music before you have to go to the main menu all right so right cheeky resolution

It’s gotta be v-sync can it it’s probably [ __ ] v-sync i don’t even know what it is but generally if there’s a problem it’s [ __ ] v-sync mate do you know what i don’t think it was v-sync got that wrong got out wrong should i turn v-sync back on then

Is v-sync oh hang on uh uh oh it didn’t right okay yeah so we’re good right go back right did it say it i forgot you [ __ ] now oh dude i gotta go it’s gonna be a safe thing at the bottom or at the top what i mean out but i’ll go back

And it just does it again it just puts it back on what i’m a man there ain’t no safe oh oh oh oh here we go jono highlighter it says because of you and these streams i bought six of these games when they were on sale nice i

Blame you for my current sleep schedule hey don’t blame me brother you knew what was up right it’s still shaking but i look hey things don’t jump up no there yet all right i guess we should put v-sync back on then i guess uh post effects

Well i want my effects immediately no i don’t want like post effect if anything i want them pre-effect i’ll how you want right okay all right i accept oh if anything like i i need no no post effects was working it was working all right service pack freedom is where

We’re good but first of all right let me put my effect my post effects back on uh that next see that didn’t work that didn’t work i didn’t work look we’re going to go back and it’s going to be oh poster still on mate still on

Who never says my issue uh was my computer ran that game too fast for certain tasks i mean that’s that’s that’s probably what’s going on here isn’t it what daryl slapping a behind you sticker on the [ __ ] it freaks me out man oh wait it was it was working all of a

Sudden then did you see that ah [ __ ] here you see my steam there there as well do you like that do you like that it’s nice i enjoyed it right uh i’m gonna have to go and [ __ ] around with the old um You know with the old you know the old with the service packs and the nobody who knows what’s your monitor’s actual refresh with uh hey not as good as my computers don’t worry about that i’m going to hook you up with an app guys um it might probably be a

Little bit longer than usual because i’m [ __ ] around with this but i’ll see you uh i’ll see you soon do so Do do Oh that was nice i just started again it just [ __ ] started the piece of [ __ ] right running in compatibility mode the whole service pack thing ah man and i can’t i can’t do it oh [ __ ] uninstall it right hey it’s getting time to do that you know

What i mean so we’re trying again we’re trying again you know maybe it was just like maybe it was just a bad [ __ ] it was a bad load maybe it was a bad load and there’s no such thing as a bad load all loads are good and uh well i mean

I prefer to be on the giving end despite local rumors right here we go milled sexy man that’s a loading screen so if it glitches don’t worry about it it’s meant to do that oh oh it’s not shaking it’s not shaking should we have a little i’m walking i’m running

Ah feeling good feeling sexy yes all right i’ll jump off summer yeah but it hurts so good all right let’s go do a [ __ ] let’s go do a thing maybe maybe does anyone need anyone killed why are you sir seo did not kill civilians i beg to differ my friend needs

Must be very lucky i am the lucky one i have you here to aid me does your husband know that i can do back there i may have given you the wrong impression oh i have no husband oh the flowers are for a party yeah what kind of place a sexy party

Claudia auditorius birthday party in the villa ah you’re my sister you are willing to help me again i need someone with class to accompany me what makes you think i guess i know someone i could tell the moment i saw you no [ __ ] i’ve killed people i’ve killed lots of people

So many people i’ll kill you what do you know of ezio we’re going up there what is the world of him i’m pretty sure she’s pregnant as well so i’m not hitting that what i gather is distance so she can be like but it’s your son but we’ve only been dating four months

You me yeah me come on it would be a surprise i promise you another claudia oh [ __ ] is it part from me is it my party i am sure i can think of several things i’ll be waiting to hear them when we get there as if such a slot

All right here’s your box of flat how is it too heavy it’s flowers jesus now about earning my silence i have something in mind yeah there is one condition anything you must wait until tomorrow ah if it pleases you i bet she dies not standing your way

It will be worth the wait that’s you trust me well she’s on a period an italian period it’s like uh marinara oh well that was good then yeah [ __ ] happy i did that deliver some flowers how do the flowers get in the middle of the square anyway she’s just still the

Girl they’re too heavy yeah we’ll put them there how’d they get there oh man phil says chunky garlic period ace i mean the garlic bit is fine it’s the chunky bit i didn’t enjoy old man enfield buongiorno mario is going to murder me i have lost his faith

He’s an assassin do not despair i will bring it back god bless you etsu jono says i think she just wanted to tidy the guardian no like again it’s oh i’m [ __ ] running after a horse she she just shot a load of flowers her garden was tidying oh come on

I’m gonna [ __ ] stab the horse in a second what’s with this [ __ ] jolly music as well is it as fun as you think it is oh do you remember that time that zia was chasing a [ __ ] horse around yeah brilliant mate i might start telling stories about when

You were [ __ ] idiot hey mario That time you killed that kid is it is is it taking the piss This is a that’s a bad horse i could just stay there here you better come to me i can no longer keep up with the horses promise me you’re not meant to keep up with horses that’s why people ride them as your uncle mario my battles have already been won that is johnson

All right and now the music suddenly gone all a little it’s a little bit on the ominous side in it bit peony that is uh i guess they won’t be hiding on that side of the wall would they nothing happens this side of the wall peony is uh to sound like a piano

People would say pianoy they’re wrong oh yo sick i shouldn’t really be up here or should i may have time to climb a wall rope style i’m the ropeist uh is it you guys with the [ __ ] oh oh we got we got we got things we got things mercenaries are highly mobile in

Renaissance italy forming contract from from contracted contract professional captains called contitieri usually paid for by cities recruited men for a fixed amount of time many of the for hire soldiers who served in italy weren’t even italian coming from places like germany switzerland and hungary in their perpetual struggle to dominate

Italy the italian states hired mercenaries to wage war against their italian neighbors and the soldiers many of whom had no code of honor would often rape and sack freely you don’t want to pay for it otherwise it’s not rape it’s just a transaction when the state that was bankrolling them

Had ran out of money the soldiers would disband frequently to be hard to destroy the very city they’re just fought to defend so as a slim chance to say activate yeah we know some mercenaries were honorable fighting for a cause they believed in but such

Men were as few as these were as few and far but few and far but there weren’t many of them where they existed however they were much sought after press b to go back activate windows go to settings to activate windows great great talk great so these are the new canons yes

Plurals actually canon go on tell him we cannot seem to make them work properly and the fool who mounted them is nowhere to be found have you tried plugging them in me to find him we do not want to waste your time it is not any trouble i have all the

Time in the world now oh excuse me a couple of takes on that hashtag streamspliff so we have all the time in the world we have all the time in the world oh i guess it doesn’t work the other way then that one too bad if it’s a real you a fan

We need nothing man it’s a skill uh is one is that that that’s all i know uh also um i’ve got you under my skin and i think to myself what a wonderful world [Laughter] look i’m here i’m on my own i’m allowed to laugh at the things i do there’s no one else salvi we need you to fix the cannons on the battlements leave me be i thought he was dying he’s just sleeping in repairs before noon what time it is

I make cannons not clocks again i think it’s camo you are busy someone else will fix them uh no one else will touch my cannons yeah just me soldiers have no respect they expect a gun to work like that we’re just gonna be talking all this

Time are you feel her out give her a little encouragement we are just watching simple cannons now a hand cannon something called a wrought iron murderer it fires that is the future it’s a gun mate it’s not called a hand cannon it’s a gun it’s latin for boom you’re dead

Don’t forget your sticks oh no the spit the sharp sticks what have you done we used them they were not ready for the wiring metal firing they’re all killed they’re on the menu his breath is more fatal than our currents dude he’s kind of this is sparta you want your [ __ ] water fools

Are shooting them there try it well that was an easy fix i didn’t actually you weren’t even looking at it most of the time all right find a target of the dummies are these guys aim at something to test the alignment all right let’s aim at something to test the alignment yeah boys

Guess that’s a god away i guess that’s all right i mean it’s kind of weird that because it’s about hit rock all right okay it’s not exploding so that’s good i hate it like films and [ __ ] but the [ __ ] cannonballs explode for some reason you know the metal balls mate farallo

Slapping her oh more cake thank you daryl keeping me keep me nice and plump for the festive season when y’all can eat me yeah this is uh i mean the local dummy maker is laughing his ass off right now mate all the way to the bank this takes a bit long doesn’t it

I must go thanks for your help tomorrow do not worry we will be practicing at dawn i like your house but it will not do you any good they’re going to be practicing at the door now fix the second that’s gotta piss a lot of people off

They start doing that here mate ah routine cannon check at dawn [ __ ] off i’ll be kicking right off where the [ __ ] are you mate ain’t gonna be no [ __ ] cannon checks that don’t uh-uh not while drunk is sleeping put you to sleep hit you with my meat cannon

That’s the cannon i have that fires meat you probably sat there thinking i meant penis or something like that i didn’t know it’s a cannon that fires me makes a lot of people very happy actually it sounds like i fire at homeless people but i oh thanks

Then they die because the meat was frozen what do i owe the pleasure of your presence here i deserve presents the papal armies have resumed their march unforly your mercenaries would be a great asset to my cause it is likely that i can give you what you seek but we will talk later

Not really mercenaries if they’re fighting for me are they that’s just soldiers are you talking yet [ __ ] well guess not machiavelli it is done yeah i’m not i destroyed the dummies does any of us expect the moving painting of the goddess minerva spoke it’s the main power of the

Terrible need to befall mankind in the future is it it’s a projector that gave hope of lost temples that will provide aid to humanity and then she called out to a phantom desmond she looks like an easter egg though standing beside me like an actual easter egg you know she vanished amazing

I cannot imagine she looked directly at the camera behind me he did not house the terrible weapon we feared this is good news what of this goddess this minerva did she appear human yes but her words proved otherwise all of her kind died many years ago i

Wish i could show you the magic she performed er who is what all that what and all that where are these temples minerva spoke of i do not know perhaps we must search for them ah collar he’s got a shakespeare collar thing going a rough goodness make excuses promise power in return

No it was machiavelli simple humble outfit interesting he was never into fashion he the spaniard lives probably once our enemies are dead we can speak of vaults and gods and ancient places you should have killed him we’re sure to suffer for that’s true i am not here to debate the past

Together we should be i said it at the time i said he should have killed him no i find he’s having immediately for roma it’s you i do not know why you spared him but i trust your judgment that’s nice machiavelli will come around okay not really bothered

That’s why i activate windows really that’s all that’s all i want dude peter soros says meet soldiers do they fight with pork swords yes they do and spam javelins and luncheon meat truncheons well it’s oh it’s going to be down still no upstairs upstairs because acts like this course it’s gonna have stairs

This is a room that its sole purpose is to just lead to other rooms okay that’s that’s rich oh yeah we got that one the clam hoe prawn [ __ ] uh nice it was a clam and a [ __ ] oyster [ __ ] that’s the name of the painting oyster [ __ ] i know my art [Laughter] Right i’ll have a bath oh he’s gonna hang dong get it out get it out get it i get it that’s tiny oh there’s two of them something assassinate you know Cover rub the dips Oh is that my sister or my mother come on again around 200 bits and sexy time you might be right or maybe she just like she just wrote because she don’t want to get her clothes wet never mind looks like her underwear is getting wet anyway even unlocked at zeo got laid again

[ __ ] annoying guy in a game gets more action than i do probably because i’m playing a game oh we ain’t done why do we focus on that is that some kind of renaissance era contraceptives i thought just being ugly would do that cowboy woburn can’t leave me to believe that you’re

Gonna have sex with the [ __ ] bodice that’s it comes up like you can’t even untie it the lace is a picture how are you enjoying it so much you still got your underwear or a woman that was just unnecessary wasn’t it ready to go again wow

I’m not machine you don’t need to ask one should always have the freedom to choose we’re going to get another we’ve just finished the sex scene are you doing it again what’s that don’t worry about just training exercises you want to see another challenge oh [ __ ]

Never had an orgasm like that i have to find mario and rally the troops my men are in the courtyard i aim to lead them around back and flank our attackers oh get out yeah i don’t really know where they’re aiming they can’t really tell they just

Like aim it up and up for the best yeah it still came in through my window what’s the chances of that oh no that’s my favorite tower it’s the bulger what what a chance they must have masked to the east during the night we need to hold them off until

The townspeople have a stick i will take care of it you forgot your sword you were the others he’s wearing a sword above the ramp i remember putting a sword on maybe he slept with it do you have it i am keeping it safe the fortune must not

Be allowed to breach the walls until everyone is safely awake in siemens oh i don’t know what he said don’t speak in foreign be careful i will oh okay i hate when they do that as well be careful like they’re oh i was about to be really reckless until you said that

Let’s go get that away woman oh [ __ ] guys this is i am more important than you i lost i lost them ah i lost everything it was all in the house oh sparkle [ __ ] oh my god they weren’t aiming for ladders oh no rocks that’s it the rocks never expect you to

Be on the wall that’s how i survived that man the cannon i need a man to put in the can are you all right bud you’re okay why are you highlighting i know anything for you attack attack him put him out he’s just wheeling his way in

I feel as though we should be concerned all about the siege tower why am i taking orders from these people the guys just reloaded yeah career aspirations anything why aren’t they firing at the cannons i’m firing at the cannons so again i think it’s canon yeah no i don’t know

I’m not a renaissance fan gee that’s how it’s getting awfully close come on there you go did i get it yeah i got it i gotta get him oh [ __ ] oh that cannon we’re just not we’re not worrying about the siege style coming in that’s fine how about that you frick it

All right there’s alright okay i’m just gonna [ __ ] real quick oh that that did something hi now i feel good about myself I suppose i wasn’t supposed to go for the tower it’s just like it’s right there you know and it’s it’s getting ever closer ever closer her character is 100 bits and i love the parting games but you lose most of your progress in the middle and it just kind of starts over thank

I’m gonna give the next one to this guy yeah you know now see he loves it he loves it he’s delighted to have a second there’ll be fortifications is they’re defaultifying as fortifications go actually these i would love to go at the towers how do you not go for the towers well i

Mean you can but like i guess you’re not supposed to the sea fortifications are looking pretty [ __ ] unhealthy and they’re on two you know no go go go go go go go where where my cannons at maybe the city’s meant to fall anyone ever think of that i mean we’re almost it’s almost

It’s almost done sometimes people still haven’t escaped keep going where’s the other guys see what the [ __ ] is should i i should maybe i should ignore the towers maybe i should ignore the towers thing is like you go over to the other cat this is this is the beginning

I i’m not not very good i mean i did try to kill that guy for some reason i a three-foot it was still a two-foot oh that was a one-third oh my god nobody knows says yes ignore the towers all right sage advice fortifications they’re looking they’re a

Little bit healthier than last time i’m not well i think i was gonna say marginally i don’t marginally [ __ ] all this [ __ ] there you go fire and i’m and then it should be like the other guy now gets blown oh hey wow thank you how difficult was it he’s dead

I got all right he was gonna go at some point running we’re under attack for god’s sake where’s that there there you go that’s all right no we’re doing a little bit there only a little bit you know i turn around i’m looking for another cannon sometimes people still have it but there

Ain’t nothing you can have that as well no there’s 45 left to flee come on we got this where are they there they are yeah outside the woods again says damn it this part legit takes a minute and a half i’m not i’m an assassin i’m not a cannon slinger i don’t sling

The balls it’s not good is it jesus christ but if you want me to sneak in and out of a building like a demon’s whisper i’m your guy oh yeah that’s more like it I’m having that if only i could move the cannon while this guy’s reloading it that would be really helpful and maybe someone to help me move the cannon as well that’d be i’d be down for that oh my god this still sucks i’m sucking just as much

Go go go go go go go go go go go go go let’s do it oh there’s these boys right here right now oh my god just [ __ ] fire [ __ ] it all right right down the middle oh boom right now we are a little bit better off than before

But a little bit only a little bit they can that’s a lot of the [ __ ] over there keep going you keep going how about you stand next to me with a cannonball that’d be [ __ ] helpful Out of the way he [ __ ] wants it oh what oh [ __ ] I i wait for amanda [ __ ] draw his weapon first [Applause] get me firing a [ __ ] cannon i was never trained for that mario no I know you’re there too who brings that woman to a scene in your little group of assassins and this [Applause] give me the countless friend passion for us i’m coming to get you bro i had too much bloodshed and all the tiles all the right time for cleansing is in order

So consider this an invitation from my family one of my family members always die at the beginning of a game gives you an incentive [Applause] akira for a hundred who done it you done it yeah dude also the baddies look like vampires i guess he kind of had it going for him

Yeah all right oh you’re finally awake buster i can walk look out they are coming ah great retreat to the villa never got me sword fight like this stand with me i can probably fight like this all right come on oh [ __ ] hell mate oh wait

Hey oh you’re an ally what the [ __ ] i’ll just say it i’ll just stay i’ll just he’s censored by a tree let’s say you deserve that that was your fault my own people friendly father friendly fire friendly hey not cool man i gotta stop doing that because i don’t

Know how i’m doing it it’s awesome leave it alone get inside the sanctuary follow me why would you wear white knowing that you’re gonna get covered in blood as a we’re red i got his [ __ ] i know okay yeah you just run on in claudia yeah and then i’m woman yeah brilliant

Do you think she literally just strolled through [ __ ] hell no more mental than our mum well i guess it’s gonna be uh for that gun thankfully he’s not looking who did i just shoot sorry foul sorry yeah you you go do it i shot someone and i don’t know who

Did the woman survive oh he’s not done [Applause] again thank you kyra dude let’s see it’s cool but wait till you meet edward kenway can’t wait you’re gonna love it one of the best damn video game protagonists ever ever where does this passage lead to the north outside the walls i am surprised

It exists anderson through i must go help the troops oh god bless you it’s gonna die but god bless him yeah all right where’s mother is he all right oh god i remember this place where’s the uh where does he go oh no yeah he’s right there

I did it all didn’t i did it all everyone gather around uh outside way out will be dangerous protect our mother should have left the armor there at the end of the last game and then it would be there now you know armor will come in handy right now

But you never know these things when you do where is mario i thought he would be waiting for us the porsche infantry are circling the town mario is dead you must leave this place take mother to firenze get me a horse you are not coming with us there’s a whole right riding

To roma go my son destroy now i don’t want to but remember for whom we assassins fight you’re an assassin too wait holy [ __ ] she just spoke she didn’t do that like a whole game well she was just in a mood with me maybe she was

And that’s the end of the game he died there in a field amongst the foliage i kind of yeah i’m not going to walk lucy seemed to get a position on ezio’s poe p.o.e could one of you tell me what’s going on sorry desmond peace ejaculation in the vatican minerva talked about

Other temples that they’re the key to preventing whatever terrible thing is about to happen right Must drain the battery nobody you know this game treats it as if you collected all hundred feathers in assassin’s creed uh hey we all know i [ __ ] didn’t find the temples i’m convinced we need to get our hands on ezio’s apple of eden minerva altered it somehow when she touched it wait

We’re at the outdated villa yes it’s our last day yes in italy it turns out the templars are watching the border ezio hid the poe sometime in fifteen hours what did they think to go ahead and access their dna it’s kind of on the nose isn’t it seems to be remembering something else

Like a memory inside a memory yes exactly maybe exactly maybe i believe you experienced something similar subject 15 exhibited memory within memory like patterns but she was pregnant the memories of both the females father and mother were competing as far as i can tell might just have had a big lunch can you

Skip ahead to a later memory no it doesn’t work well that sounds familiar we couldn’t access altair’s later memories until desmond had improved his synchronization then it’s possible something similar has occurred here oh i know let’s make it gaming it’s being transposed onto desmond destabilizing the memory

Either that or rebecca’s just not a very good engineer thanks [ __ ] what that is amongst the most likely [ __ ] venus this place is insecure cell phone surveillance can see right through the walls don’t you mean satellite surveillance are you kidding abstergo upgraded to cell towers ages ago and waves go

Through everything above ground oh they’re gonna even people no they aren’t coming healthy I mean it’s nice to be back also it seems no one repaired that upper floor shame but i just feel as i was a bit obvious isn’t it like the temple is going to be like where do you think they would be hiding i know how about that villa where what’s your next

The assassin’s creed face back into the highway this is not a good place for us to be right now do we have any tarps we need to cover up the van i really hate to stress this yeah but we are running out of time how are we going to worry sean do you

Have any ideas sure i don’t know maybe there’s another way into the sanctuary hey i think i’ve got something take some antibiotics is it itchy are you chafing i’m just gonna have a little i mean i’m loving the hoodie by the way that’s uh that’s very assassinating i like that

Is it did he have wings or something on there he’s got [ __ ] wings on the back i don’t want wings all right let’s run along here this is where the assassin climbed to the fence all right [ __ ] it yeah all right no previous training desmond that is an ancient straw awesome

It just felt natural we can get in through here yeah you could also take in the ladder that’s what she did we’ll just wait up here then sure that would feel natural to me with massive targets painted on our backs oh i wish you should get shot oh

This isn’t exactly my idea of a good time torch on your phone let me guess you’re more the embedded sex type what desmond i know how to have fun uh that’s very convincing i’ll be in there i’m convinced temple full of the assassins after we save the world the assassin temple

Wait can i get that right [ __ ] lie on we have life okay well no that is not it then all right what was that oh [ __ ] me i don’t see anything you you i see a [ __ ] on a people woman and actually i bumped into one that’s not [ __ ] normal either

Run get out people catch you oh it’s me filth they escaped through here what ezio and the villagers after the attack i can see them now i know it’s difficult they were running in the wrong direction oh no wait no we’re on the wall if i

Can’t stop the visions so i how long before i start painting symbols on the walls don’t joke about that in poo 16 is dead we’re focusing on the present okay oh you bought me a present of course you didn’t no one ever brings me a [ __ ] present

I ain’t risking my life and my mind oh no it’s him oh bro great stuck i can get under there i mean ready being very trusting right now lucy any chance you can lift that gate if you’re gonna have a pop color skeleton i’ll find a way around that skeleton had a name

Oh i guess we’re going up there didn’t find a way around us he could have said i’ll find a way up that would have been more uh hey ancient barrels full of straw i can drop into the corridor below through here watch out for bats you go ahead and do

That then love i meant in case you see any remind me not to make you a lookout yeah and everyone stop shouting in case there’s people that are listening what the [ __ ] oh look oh his hair desmond yeah more ghosts they’re not really i’m here okay ooh cold stay with me

So we’re working our way so right so we are heading into the uh the temple of the assassins the assassin temple wait all right wait no i’m not someone else is this here i’m desmond i’m white did anything fall on you no is mother all right is she

She’s gorgeous desmond we can’t climb this ah i got an idea how about you give me a boost that’s a bad idea oh okay i could throw you into the air and you’d be ready you tell me why it was a bad idea all right follow me yeah i know what to do

People just kept these things so i could do this back then like there’s no reason that they would want that many rocks up there and because they just left them there lucy so this is here for me how about this what are you going to do

Superman [ __ ] i aim to please all right race yeah go i wonder how old these tunnels are middle ages probably pretty [ __ ] old probably maybe beams still hold our weight after all this time i’m winning i’m sure yeah i didn’t want to say anything but you’re really getting passed

No i’m going on my own on this one because i’m too fat [ __ ] oh praying assassin yeah the old praying assassin when ezio came Ah oh you [ __ ] ass [ __ ] so they just jump down like a man i want to go up i guess i want to go home very intricate well how did all the civilians get out there asking for a friend when did this become my job if i pulled

All the levers then what would be left for you oh [ __ ] i don’t like the sass i do not like the sass yeah i’m i’m letting the lever go like sooner and sooner switch oh right so so you finally get to the lever something’s open the [ __ ] happened sounded like it was over

Climb up again hey now ain’t no climbing names that ceo well i mean that’s probably something then because like people only keep boxes there if they want them if they want someone to step on it i’m stuck over here but i can see a lever across the water that’s assassin’s

Law ezio gets a bath with katarina’s sports and i get a swim in a toilet okay we get a thing thank you eldon ring ghost i’ve got this one and the blade’s so strong it cuts chains yeah come over here yeah brilliant yeah if only i’d have thought that thanks lucy

Sage advice woman sage adva can i swim come on can i swim [ __ ] it listen it’s easy for you to say you aren’t swimming in medieval toxic waste i really really don’t like it is that that looks like i should be able to climb up i mean it’s a rope here

Yeah oh oh oh is it over there lucy oh sorry do you know what maybe we just say it three maybe four more times oh over here terrible you’re exaggerating you’re a [ __ ] uh are we uh are you getting me to pull the lever again are you doing the lever

I think she wants me to that no i gotta go up here and i it’s obvious akira for another 100 bits do you think the assassin’s creed games will still be as good worse or better if they took out all the modern parts including the animus itself

This is the time of your life i mean yeah yeah the first assassin’s creed game i think that’s that was the bit that that was a real plot driven part of it you see because it was a very very interesting premise it was like a plot within a plot however

They took it a bit too far with bits like this you know uh it’s there’s no free roaming aspect to it and that was that was one of the most attractive things of the game was that you could you know park or run from bit a bit [ __ ]

Ignore missions for a bit if you want go do some bloody collecting or something whereas this these bits are too [ __ ] linear the modern bits you don’t have the free roaming so what’s the point of them it might as well be a cut scene but i still do think

You need the modern bits because that explains without that you wouldn’t have anywhere near an in-depth story you know it’s a war that is has been going on for so long that they’ve actually been going back but there’s no need for me to be playing this bit you know ready go for it

Oh i got off okay oh okay press and hold is it it’s press and hold i wish i left her there how come you don’t have to get wet because you’re here she will charming aren’t i no you’re not i [ __ ] hate you i’m going i’ve got you thanks i’m coming for you

Who died did i know them a couple of skeletons down there as well we should really be donating these to a museum or something you know what i mean great the bridge is out we can’t jump this bridge isn’t out people died you’ll have to help me

Stand at the edge and get ready oh see you really going for the boost idea now aren’t you brilliant ready ah shame she caught it made it let me see here it says not charming i don’t have to stay here to die in the dark with the bats charm is the word

She [ __ ] sucks and it’s making me do this jump across she’s probably don’t get me wrong great ass for now but she is not likable at all and it is forcing me to do this which makes me resent her even more entrance oh stan it oh is that

Uh is that a way up in case i [ __ ] something up you’d think these stairs not least just just dogs they don’t you think is full of ways to open doors we are the modern men how can we not open [ __ ] doors desmond uh it was a little [ __ ] good single

Landing don’t get that bridge down climbing jumps aren’t doing it for me either and i’m sure that will be your last in crete too he would uh you know [ __ ] left hand right hand left hand right hand it was good what are we doing here we doing this again

Where is she is she coming what are you doing ah i’d be there by now if it weren’t for you got it thank you how is that connected but how did the lever affect that there was no like ropes or pulleys or anything now it’s my turn steven the score thanks

It’s a start go to slip and fall what magic you want about oh climb the right is that climby no that’s just a rope just a rope um all right let me loosely get away i gotta think about this can’t think about this oh okay so this is gonna be a

Little [ __ ] huh no no not right no you can’t yeah so i would have thought i would have thought i care of a hundred you know the best part about sitting down to play a video game after longer at work being forced to put up with an annoying person

Telling you what to do brilliant yes uh yeah you’re not wrong normally people refer to it as marriage but if you’re what if you’re talking about the npc stood right next to me yeah she’s she’s [ __ ] annoying too oh there’s a ladder so this is my magic oh my [ __ ] came up

I thought he was gonna die under the waterfall oh no i’ve already done this bit all right so it wasn’t uh i no okay it wasn’t that so why was there a ladder should i be taking ladders now ladder man i keep doing that it i it doesn’t mean

Any i don’t know why i keep doing it as well just hey maybe if i could jump up there you know a bit now i’m not getting any kind of magic here did she come up back no she right maybe it is down here and that was just a red herring

Only the reddest of herrings the millard i don’t like a herring well i mean i don’t like smoked fish you know i do the smoking thank you very much the fish start smoking i’m like do you think you’re doing you’re not people see i mean he’s doing these [ __ ] just

Little [ __ ] single landed jumps just one by one where’s that ceo mate you’d already be at the top maybe it’s because deadline desmond’s just a bit like this is his first day at work you know up you go okay very helpful bit of architecture i’m sure thanks

For sure what purpose that really solved apart from being in a game okay gotta do my shoulders in now lucy if that could be the last time we do that that’d be great come on desmond let’s go oh don’t you [ __ ] dare i can see the sanctuary how can you oh

They call it the sanctuary that was a load screen okay weird yeah there i am there i was in a previous life what if in the previous game i hadn’t got all the seals the the port carlos would still be down and everyone would have died He looks so old how are you having a memory of yourself you’re a third person it’s weird but why desmond right let’s open that door you gotta keep doing things right okay we not just admire the statues and [ __ ] for a minute i mean this is some ancient

[ __ ] about an ancient conspiracy that to be honest i’ve only known about in-game well not for all that long i’ve been unconscious for most of it well at least we’re here we’re getting in the house try using that special site you learned from altair yeah because i know how to

Work i know how something’s brilliant some kind of open the damn book the sort of thing oh my god so what was the point of everything i just did good craftsmanship this [ __ ] still works about bloody time so what [ __ ] at this point 500 years old looks like something ezio left behind

There are numbers underneath it 14 19 14 20 and 14 21 lottery numbers maybe you should lie down for a bit that’s all right i’m fine whoa they really give me a [ __ ] offer fast no signs of structural damage no cell signal either are you kidding there

Was something safe to set up let’s get the animus down there all right oh [ __ ] this is gonna be our room that’s pretty badass okay surrounded by inspiration sean hide the van in town and make sure you aren’t followed what what is that smell it’s my clothes

They smell like you swam through a sewer yeah yeah yeah it was lucy’s idea that’s what i did though wait a second guys we need power down here there’s a line running nearby i can hook into but the wattage is weak oh yeah of course yeah yeah anything

Else you two would have you’re terrible at everything to knit you a lovely hat i just did what i’m told except i haven’t activated windows though that much is true why why is it though right because you’ve got oh we don’t know how tired they should they’re really right you have seo

Brilliant okay there should be uh [ __ ] these games that should be it one about each one of these right we’ve done our tire zero brilliant right so he’s got the [ __ ] thing and these are the famous assassins right so after that zeo it should just be about b6

And that should be the end of the games that that see that would be a game series with some [ __ ] chest hair why the ramp are we not happy with stairs anymore [ __ ] millennials i’m a millennial i’m allowed to say that generators aren’t turned on so we’re not worried about that okay

Where’d he get oh [ __ ] did i could you have done this right look around monterrigioni for circuit boxes rebecca’s little dude us they’ll reroute small amounts of electricity to the power line underneath the villa don’t ask me how they work if i understood that i wouldn’t be the fella hiding the van

I wish you were in the van i wish you were under the van all right this is going in ain’t going in it’s going up way up oh god it wasn’t going up wait what am i doing let’s go i got it right second what do you think rooftop

No oh i’m oh no next floor next floor right cfa ah good god i [ __ ] hate this game i’m not happy with it or it’s mom let’s see there’s no there’s no there’s no [ __ ] hell [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] i care out for 100 bits

Uh sorry old man anfield says ramps make hand trucks go easier yeah i hadn’t seen a [ __ ] hand truck old man enfield and i care for 100 bits as i completed every assassin’s creed game none of those famous assassins are ever even referenced again oh that’s sad also what

A great use of your assassin skills finding circuit breakers i they are they are not utilizing me in the way i’m supposed to be utilized just like back in my [ __ ] uncle’s place as well right or maybe i’ll go down wait but this is yellow oh come on oh i’m so pissed off

Just just like back in backing at zeo times right i gotta find some more backing zero times i [ __ ] i’m i’m a highly skilled highly trained assassin right with many many kills under my assassin’s belt and they’re like fire cannon mate this doesn’t seem right does it why would they do it

Is that just a light it’s just a [ __ ] light let’s keep it going keep the party swinging right yeah all right still going that way all right are we looking oh it stopped somewhere around me do you know what no i think it started around here how [ __ ] dull oh my god

Okay it says two more games and it gets so much better well we’re gonna have to hang in there man we’re gonna have to hang in there did i actually i can’t [ __ ] remember hold on a second did i uh did i make an assassin’s creed two track

I did i did assassin’s creed two trophy right there a nice piece of eden oh delicious i i thought i did it i couldn’t quite remember but that’s that’s our trophy we’ve got the goblet for creed one and uh trophy for creed [ __ ] brilliant brilliant i’m a genius i’m not a [ __ ] genius

I am so not can’t even get a game to work right i can’t even start circuit breakers without the aid of some kind of ancient technique of bird site uh obnoxious one oh god oh [ __ ] [ __ ] all right all right see this is where the power comes from it’s generated by stones

Apparently that that’s not really connected to anything it’s just stones [ __ ] oh yeah [ __ ] where’d it go what no no i’ve done that one so where’d it go it just it just disappeared somehow so hang off the edge hang off the yet you are know it there you go [ __ ]

Oh god damn it hey ex yeah with the magical technology that [ __ ] fixes fuses yes the sun i love the [ __ ] sun shut up honestly i wish that guy would take his [ __ ] oh you couldn’t hear it it’s all right he’s just there like oh i’m talking anyone

I wish he’d take his foot off the [ __ ] [ __ ] pedal all right i’m gonna have a wii city I didn’t have a wheel i was just resizing the screen whoa that’s weird the activate windows thing pissed off oh my god game the game captures working hold on a sec let me uh turn off the uh the screen capture then cause i don’t need that

It just just just out of nowhere just it just started working oh i know it’s not working again oh my god uh is it oh i don’t it’s working oh [ __ ] brilliant yeah hour and 44 in yeah [ __ ] fantastic mate [ __ ] fantastic jesus chris what do i do you’re getting

A chair i’m getting in a [ __ ] chair [ __ ] me this game’s been a ball ache from start to finish and we’ve not even been even started sanctuary sanctuary serenity made some improvements to the animus and i also hatched in a new vr training program i didn’t do that either

Here you can show off all those flashy moves you picked up from your ancestors let me open one in the mission i didn’t want to do it okay so i just do as i’m told just do as i’m told right oh yeah oh [ __ ] ah i’m staying at all right fun stop

All right i got target mode unnecessary Get off me dick ow Oh [ __ ] did i do it yeah i did it i did it i care of a hundred [ __ ] mate you’re amazing syndicate takes place in more vr missions through the anime i am talking to complete training sessions i’ll add additional challenges to stop your subconscious from rejecting ezio’s later memories you’re gonna have

To live them in the order his genome recorded yeah i’ve done this before sequence two for me desmond good now select it and you’re gonna see the memories inside once you’ve unlocked your memory by accessing this menu you can relive it as many times as you want i don’t want it i

Want to do it once and that’s what if there are memories i just want to forget yeah desmond this is very important you need to take a break log out of the animus you can leave the machine whenever you like let’s shut down steam i’m all set to go don’t worry

Find again one last thing oh my gosh your synchronization by executing events the way ezio lived them you might even discover some repressed memories okay let’s get started telling me you got fingered as a kid i didn’t even select it she got you oh select this and then just desmond i’ve

Been looking at those gibberish five-digit codes from the end of subject 16’s files and i’m glad you’ve been doing something a remarkable coincidence the codes correspond perfectly with coordinates inside the animus i’ve tagged it’s pinpointed by the coordinates okay good talk let’s go ride the unicorn what the [ __ ] hey

Wait what’s going on who are you the pain will end soon probably have you brought me nowhere me a man left you here are you that fat brought from earlier you say anything you’re a different fat boy you are to meet mr machiavelli in front of the mausoleum

Let me help you get dressed the thing is the thing he does is he’s snowing indoors is that normal same man who brought me here gave me these clothes see miss siri okay let’s sit down put that there close the white again don’t know what’s going on with that i got my hood

It’s iconic in it it’s iconic there’s a door i recognize this i’ve used one before Uh roma everything is rectangular what is left of it since the borgia came to power and the mausoleum unfortunately you cannot see it from here how about from the top of that church yes but this time closed that should not be a problem let’s see if we can do something about

It maybe there’s going to be some subtitles or some [ __ ] right here we got our options uh her character 100 bits saying syndicate takes place in 1868 london friends well here’s just gonna empty you have two protagonist assassins you can switch between oh that’s cool and it has

Missions on jack ripper and penny dreadful novels child labor and being able to drive carriages that is uh my favorite things in that order [ __ ] fantastic right general all right subtitles on [ __ ] a that’s a winner i got a new outfit find a doctor to heal the wounds from

The villa attack all those years ago And don’t oh right don’t lose any more health is i guess i guess we can try i can’t really i need to find the doctor i ain’t in the mood for like running either so like wherever we’re going we’re [ __ ] walking there mate well i gotta find the lab and i’m

Conscious for all this time and i’m bleeding them to my nice white suit very white as well careful so don’t fall below one square health and he might kick me in the face for full synchronization i just not got don’t get stabbed oh that hurts oh named partially for the virgin waters

That flow through its channels and then a myth that 30 roman soldiers asking for water were led by beautiful young girls of the source springs having knew she was a virgin is pretty self-evident the aqua verdenni is the most famous water source in rome its springs provide the trevi fountain the villa

The north and south phantoms of the piazza nahin and the fountains of piazza dahu with their water none of which you get to see because they were all built in the mid 16th century considered to be some of the best drinking water in the world romans and visitors visitors line up to

Fill containers from the fountains although after a 2007 construction accident that halted the flow temporarily and a chemical cocktail distilled daily in the fountain to keep it clean no i’d stick to tea i require medicine well luckily why are you asking a bird man someone your age cannot recover from a

Wound like this with medicine here is something to dull the pain you will heal over time four out of grazia doctors would suggest leeches but they have not proven effective against such things and dentists say shut up do you need anything else give me a beak body and the printing press influenced

Renaissance medicine greatly which had in turn been influenced by arabic medicine during the middle ages by the 15th century science had already begun its slow climb towards becoming more relevant than spirituality in the field of healthcare however many people stubbornly clung to the old ways visiting local mystics instead of

Doctors after the plague ravaged europe in 1350 i remember it well many doctors dressed in special play gear to treat patients to prevent contamination they were keep coated in wax and a primitive gas mask in the shape of a beak who’d i love a beer beak give me that [ __ ] medicine

That’s right i said medicine not medicine because there’s too many eyes in this stream someone might i mean me i’m glad that z is pissed off with that because i was pissed off with that too it was just it was on an unnecessary remark are you alright love you okay my need is

Much greater than yours right so i thought i’m not that way then no one really likes it when you punch a woman weird nice oh wait no i gotta climb the thing and i got climbed the thing i don’t get it like three identical women came running up to me

Begging for [ __ ] money like i feel as though i’m well within my rights to lamp one of them and i mean would it have been fine if i go look i will give you money if you let me punch you for some reason that would be different

Wouldn’t it you know this stupid ancient country all right up the tower lickety-spit ah yes good to be back america Any [ __ ] game of thrones music one at 24. where’s the thing i’m looking for whatever [ __ ] [ __ ] it yeah oh too old to keep doing that we will show him how things operate under the board you’re gonna be under the [ __ ] ground in a second i’m following them hey Gonna tell you wherever you guys Hey little gaddy your mama said you got a tiny wee wee chickens in the market or pee pee could have been a pee pee either way it sounds like urinating rather than a penis i was making a he’s talking about their penises p9 hey do you think if men had vaginas it

Would be a vagino I feel as though that should be in like common parlance now you know what with a ah i’m you know i’m a woman with a dick no one clipped that and oh i’m i’m a man with a vagina in which case it’s oh i’ve got a vagino

I don’t i feel as though i’m on to something here Just saying yep no oh god of god coming up behind you gonna kill your kids hakira for 100 loving your work buddy the white the white makes sense as most clothes were white stroke undied at that time and that’s the only white clothes stand out as he was a rich boy

Assassin and could afford luxuries like bleach linens which is why is that a place in the series he’s the only rich boy assassin well i mean zio he had the white robes but even that they were like a little more humble than all of this [ __ ] night of the realm [ __ ] that he’s

Wearing do you know what i mean his robes were i mean apparently these are seo’s robes as well i refuse to believe that you dressed like a ponzi italian so even then like his they were slightly uh you know they were off-white they were more like ever so slightly gray

Because that’s the thing unbleached clothes yeah that’s one thing but oh [ __ ] i mean we’re talking it would have been gray not white you know [Applause] all right come on em i stabbed him in his eyes well yeah smashed it brilliant are you all right presidents are going to be the shelf people

What meant to do it to him then oh [ __ ] it was beautiful she was and she still is poor are you gonna eat her i wish he’d just killed her i wish it well it did love me people who saw her grow up in the end she did when he spat on her

Smiles on their faces when her neck i understand how can you my libya was innocent i have lost family to the rope to treachery he’s home on the hill above he threatens to hang me if i cut her rope all right but why should i go and kill this guy

Really it should be like you go and hang in the [ __ ] market square or something and i’ll cut the rope then when they go like oh you’re going to jail because you cut the rope you’d be like no bro i got witnesses i’m on cctv i was in the marketplace at the time

Someone else didn’t when you are ready take her down i will deal with your carnegie ah leave a hanging for a little bit yeah she always wanted she was a hard-working girl look she always wanted to rest can i can i like move her a little bit no

Right no she is right rigger motors has set the [ __ ] in man jesus christ all right oh boy here i go killing finally summit oh jesus christ some assassinations Get on it on the grassy knoll oh that’s how you know it’s gonna be a good one right Now my boys in here that’s my boy there is restricted to everyone shut the [ __ ] up be cool nice work down there ah not my best but it’s hard to make art there’s a bastard oh is that it okay [Applause] oh i got a decent fight on my way out as well [ __ ] good to be back love the hood looks like he should be in the watchman we didn’t even touch his eyes though mate he just stroked his face and you know it ezio

You know it all right rolling on her get off the [ __ ] oh jesus christ who wants it you want it you want that who wants punching i know what no one wants to give me their weapons all right all right all right all right let’s do it your way

Stab him stab him when he’s down not do it not doing amazing all right now we’re doing better yeah all right there you go i give you mercy and you i no i actually do give you mercy get up oh [ __ ] oh no oh i tried to save his life oh [ __ ] alive

All right okay i see that that’s a win i i didn’t want to kill him he’s just maimed a bit it’s about sending a message uh he can he can he can deliver that message all right good work everyone because it didn’t break his like his speaking muscles i just broke him

Oh oh oh the camera looking now do they just a little oh where could he be ah [ __ ] well i was never there i was on the ground when the guard died everyone saw me i knew where i was oh hi did that just happen are you gonna oh my god Horse i told you i killed a horse ah the horses [Applause] man of my words [ __ ] it out thank you ah do you know what you you’ve earned your right to live well that’s uh it can’t be killing horses no [ __ ] they’re unkillable um unkillable please don’t kill me i’m going this way boys you can’t stop me i knew it i did the right thing

Akira for a hundred dude says if he make it to assassin’s creed origin stroke odyssey stroke valhalla you’re gonna need to fight uh better don’t worry about me mate don’t worry about me it’s the first time in a little while a couple of weeks ago and assassin’s creed gamepl

News of the villa attack has spread across the city we were certain that you were dead you do nothing so shut up i am still very much alive the borgia must not discover that you escaped them oh what accompanying three ah try to push your captain into the

Scaffold to kill okay done yeah i can do that take care not to draw any undue attention you’re the [ __ ] one who’s dressed like a [ __ ] sith see there’s again there’s no need for to make it a cut scene for correct did he just scratch his bum he scratched his bum

Fat [ __ ] you would be wise to purchase missing equipment you will notice and the guards have their guns courtesy of the fortune i got guns fortunately i can help you give me a gun that’s not gone it’s a pouch while you’re in my debt perhaps you will

Listen to reason as soon as i hear some i will let you know burn oh blacksmiths let me tell you about blacksmiths see every renaissance community needed a blacksmith swords locks pans knives nails and armor were all made from metal and needed to be shaped in addition architectural armor flourished during

The renaissance as blacksmithing began to apply their practical craft towards making art that’s right yeah metal sculptures of boobs luke junkie in the chat drunkard nice to see you was wondering what i’d be masturbating to tonight and i’m sure you still will be sir hey just see i’m gonna be masturbating

To you buddy just just i mean and i’m not even doing that for you i’m doing it for me give me them spolders oh yeah oh i feel so spolded out a cheeky stiletto it’s more than just a shoe oh we can invest i don’t have money to invest

But uh i mean hey that’s use your money wisely now you can survive the journey back to fire perhaps they were coming those are well i’m what this is i’m having this power what drives the man leeches that i started talking language cesare has set his sights on all of italy

He will have it is that admiration i hear in your voice he knows how to exercise his will oh my god the world today he pushed me into the guards who were going to come over and push me everyone is pushing me this is because i push mario after that rooftop earlier

Isn’t it i told you i was sorry the game was glitching it was full screen i i i didn’t know who i was still don’t know who i am do you know how high is wearing this hood and a cape machiavelli a cape what stuff [ __ ] is that whispering

That’s freaking me the [ __ ] out everyone else can hear that yeah of course roma is quite large as cesare’s conquest in romania continue to succeed and the borgia grow in power they have taken desirable areas of the city for themselves what’s that what i’m whispering the stables here oh the will

Of the borgia is law now i’m gonna die what are you implying ezio do not play dumb with me machiavelli do you have some kind of plan i am improvising oh oh oh i gotta throw him into uh into the scaffolding i guess that’s him over here then he’s

Gonna be the one guy who’s got a [ __ ] thing on his face over his head oh don’t be like that i guess the other guy ran away come on man i’ll throw you in a scaffolding i think we are we know nothing stop it oh you piece of [ __ ] You actual piece of [ __ ] [Applause] great now i can’t use that [Applause] oh i think anyone will notice in there i will be right there i suppose oh finally someone who’s in my faith you must have heard it coming i suppose finally someone in my favor just because

You kill a few guards does not mean the people will grant access to the stables you are right we need to send a signal wait here the junkie says [ __ ] like that is how i know dude ain’t checking chat well i replied to you you dick what the [ __ ] are you on about

All right off we go i always be checking chat you see this isn’t like running the triple-a where you got loads of things happening at once many things to keep an eye on this is just playing a game and occasionally just looking over to the other screen again oh luke junkie’s there hey

I said hello what it’ll be like that bro be like that be like that on your face i set fire to the tower with me in it And that was the last we ever saw that’s here oh i’m on it it seems stable thankfully they can’t check for fingerprints after me all right get a grand tour get out amazing i really enjoyed that all right i’ve got spend me hard and cash i’ll renovate in a bloody stable

Oh no every 20 minutes i get 48 bucks it’s still more than i get for cleaning all right oh can i take it off i’ll take a horse i’m having this one look i’m the i just bought the stables basically all these horses are mine so [ __ ] it

Oh wait no lying in bang him that’s just a random [ __ ] on a horse come on mate let’s get a [ __ ] wiggle on should we like out away everyone yeah like we’re basically this is the equivalent of driving cars put your [ __ ] foot down you know what i mean

Pick a bloody lane as well mate when you’re not using your blinker piece of [ __ ] all right so the challenge is to do oh what we’ve got here i can’t throw 100 bits just for shits and giggles thank you akira a rebecca 84 is saying uh i set the coordinates

Sean’s up from subject 16 converges on his landmark maybe you should check it out it’s the architectural wonder still standing as the world’s largest unreinforced concrete dome two thousand years after being built the opening at the dome center known as an oculus of course is a singular source of light for

The immense chamber constructed in 126 ce that is chair by marcus agrippa as a grip of the sorcerer as a temple to all the ancient roman gods the pantheon has since become a beacon of christianity okay i don’t think you’re really understanding what ancient roman gods are here christianity

The structure has been burned rebuilt robbed modified torn down and renovated so many times that the interior contains a myriad of conflicting icons and symbols apparently most gods had this building constructed in their honor i however recommend worship worshiping at the modern day espresso bars surrounding it [Laughter]

Oh no wait no it was that was a a glyph stuck openly then rodrigo borges death would not have solved anything i am inclined to disagree we have this conversation the center of borja in templar killing one man will not change things you need to take away the shorts of

Their power like everyone’s getting out of the way they know that i’m you know maybe i’m a higher boy person like building on this and then box carrying peasants our belief in humanity rests at the heart of the assassin brotherhood that’s the name of the game

He said it must be from your inner circle go get back what you’re stolen hey well you sure i’m making 48 florins floorings 20 minutes again but i’m gonna kill him i will kill him come back here probably don’t want me to do that but i’m gonna do it

Oh and the game is all shocked pikachu face when i said i was gonna kill him it’s one less thief on the street i did society a [ __ ] favor right then god damn it give me back my money on the stairs before i regret i don’t feel coming over just to push me

I didn’t lose any health though just [ __ ] off all right no one’s even going to miss you it’s true they didn’t no one cared two men died and no one care i mean i cared it’s just the amount of paperwork that it involves you know akira highlighted most europeans haven’t

Understood cr haven’t understand can’t understand haven’t understand christianity to be fair yeah but it’s not like i mean there’s a difference between christianity and going ah roman gods you know i feel a fool i could have just climbed these steps i feel a fall

Oh i feel double the fool i did it again now this is what there’s a little there’s a tower over we should probably do a tower should we however the palazzo centario built during the 13th and 14th century as a senatorial seat for administration of justice in rome the palazzo and the

Dominating structure of the canadian tourists today would see an impressive double-flighted staircase in front which was designed by michelangelo not only intended to induce fear in their climacophobic oh these stairs oh people were afraid of stairs climacrophobic let’s just just call them sterophobic for god’s sake these stairs were part of a commission

Michelangelo received to redo several of the buildings on the other podesta behest of pope paul iii for the sole purpose of impressing charles v then ruler of the holy roman empire basically the renaissance political equivalent of a toddler doing headstands for his daddy hey desmond i didn’t know i was more

Than 16 but last time scanning an eagle vision seemed to help all right doing that i’m doing the tower not doing the thing or maybe we could do the glue oh [ __ ] me we can have a little puzzle can we you have a little puzzle okay this tower isn’t cannot be climbed

Is that another [ __ ] feather There’s only 10 this time i feel all right about that why can’t i climb this [ __ ] oh there you go cow mate do you think luke junkie says eagle vision is just shrooms he’s got rubber in his eyes This whole game is just shrooms waking up the next day god i had a dream while i was i had a genetic memory of loads of assassins leading up until this day i’m gonna write games about it and michael fassbender is gonna play one of them

Is that uh are we at the uh i guess that’s the place actually in it that’s the uh oh [ __ ] can we climb cliffs we can climb cliffs not really a cliff more of a ledge but yeah everyone has a weakness i remember that jot that down

This is probably going to be the place at the top of the stairs and i mean there is a [ __ ] this place looks pretty uh architectural it’s got a little courtyard and everything it’s got ladders ordinary houses don’t have ladders is this uh is this the one where [ __ ]

The pope was trying to he was he was getting wet for king charles or is it the other place it’s got a tower that’s normally a pretty good sign in it oh yeah i i i don’t know i don’t know so this is this is where we are and this

Is the other place there’s also this place but it’s locked oh oh oh oh palazzo centaurio that was it that was the place zoe says there’s a [ __ ] is it a gliffy whiff you know a little shiny dude a truth man let’s have a look see oh yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah now this is this is where the architecture be in it you can tell you can tell what’s this wait i’m having it I can upgrade it that [ __ ] tower i can’t a hundred bits thank you her kira saying guys i know i well we can make this as crass assassin’s creed [ __ ] better what if it’s bong we get james bond to get in a robot arm and act like he’s climbing

[ __ ] is dude is that a real thing because i me i’ll watch the [ __ ] out of that james bond in a robot arm sign me up get me involved i would like to be in it i’ll play the arm why can’t i never go in i never seem to

Go in buildings in this game am i just not allowed in buildings anymore he’s banned from buildings just having a little look around see if there’s any little uh you know something in the shape of an eye or something like that like a pyramid or ah maybe maybe this ain’t the place then

I but like i mean i almost say it’s a church because look it’s all it’s got a cross the top of it is a cross and that normally that to me normally says church mate akira says that is the actual live assassin’s creed with fastball is it

See i thought i’d seen it but bloody hell maybe i haven’t maybe i should uh i should i should pay this movie a little visit something to fall asleep to isn’t it let’s be honest is that a little doorway there can i get no that is not a doorway for me i’m not

Doorway people remember guys i’m not uh not permitted indoors anywhere because this is like this is a little priory for the older see the vicar lives below the church but oh bloody hell his house it’s beautiful do you know what i don’t really what oh [ __ ] he’s about to show me what

All right mate yeah let’s fight on a [ __ ] church that’s probably good in it both going to heaven where aren’t we Maybe me all right next [ __ ] let’s move on i mean the steps as well steps is probably a good show you could keep like a glyph or some [ __ ] on some steps i wonder if they’re am i actually looking for he did say about eagle vision

But no you know what just yeah not feeling it not feeling gliffy i do like you know the old church of go at the steps and everything or sunday best all of that i think this is some kind of [ __ ] public toilet [ __ ] we’re in rome everywhere’s a

[ __ ] public toilet oh what about here though is this still part of the [ __ ] i think maybe it’s all part of the same place Nice nice it’s just not it’s just it’s just not all right we’ll [ __ ] all this for a game of soldiers then let’s let’s get on we only got to go over here as well it’s all right oh bet he wants a [ __ ] race or something don’t they bloody

Did you liberate your money from our friend i did oh yeah i was ages again they add up and in time with work we’ll have a few dozen more and in time cesare’s gays will return to us and we’ll be broken again now where is my contact vinicio he

Should have already intercepted the letter follow me okay so you do want to race catch the bulgaria and under a minute probably won’t be doing that one come on man i’ve got a minute let’s go everyone out of the way i’m hunting porsches geez machiavelli can’t drive stick

Why don’t you pick the slow horse i would prefer to have the slow horse well except i got a chase down aboard you in under one minute no easy feat Especially going through these bits there horses don’t like the narrow bits it goes against their nature yeah it’s like machiavelli’s nature to be [ __ ] slow did he just look at these facades masquerading as governments the pope is very clever to keep this place in business it fools your friend oh yeah

When did you become constantino widely accepted the emperor constantina first had an insatiable thirst for gloating so when he defeated emperor maxintius he took the throne in uh 312 no one was surprised when he built this arch to commemorate his victory nothing says victory like a [ __ ] big arch most of

The artwork on the arch was plundered from existing monuments and modified to alter its meaning some historians contend that the artisans of the fourth century simply didn’t have the talent to create such ornate pieces and only completed the arch by recycling old masterworks from ruins around the city

A preposterous claim as the romans never copied anything see what i did there sarcasm yeah just like when i go oh that was so funny sarcasm may not be lost and you ain’t got [ __ ] on me again throws a hundred and eleven bits straight in with the ones

God i love escort missions oh god oh there’s a coliseum brah oh well oh right now you care [ __ ] prick all right i call to see him mate give me a [ __ ] second i was attempting to steal official vatican mayor your junkie says arch is a pace

Who are you working for ladro i am working for no one then no one will care what we do to you well yeah can we uh it’s all time right slicey spicy where is it the courier still has the letter am i killing am i killing ah horse

Oh no i got a tackle i shouldn’t be i gotta get him oh you [ __ ] [ __ ] i saw you go this way where the [ __ ] well i feel as though the time’s probably up now oh my god what’s he doing yeah that’s it oh yeah there you go hi guys

Sack a quarterback oh you’re in my house now [ __ ] leave the animus to check your inbox there’s also like i there’s a big place for a glyph to be in it like this [ __ ] could be anywhere anywhere uh here we’re there like even now the coliseum’s still [ __ ]

Was there ever a time when it wasn’t i get a feeling they just built it to be ruined they go oh yeah no it’s a place for all the [ __ ] gladiators of the compound [ __ ] i don’t think it was man i think it always looked like this

Akira for a hundred uh i’m glad italians exist okay if not for them we wouldn’t know what entitled douchebags are hey we’ll always have the french uh let me uh because i don’t know if you know this about me but i got degree so i’m gonna get up on stage

Oh hang on oh wait are they crucified did they be crucified i thought they were putting on like it’s the crosses and it’s a stage so i thought they were just doing passion of the christ no i think i think they’d be crucifying Ah i just paid have you well i i i gotta go check me email apparently fat knows why but i’m in a computer you know just read it out to me who’s sending email i’m busy and i’ve been led on my backpack that’s gotta be bad for your posture

All right computer computer computer computer uh seems everyone’s got one but me a couple of bottles of water can i have a drink everything all right don’t touch me i don’t like being stuck underground with them out there looking for us you’re doing a great job

We’re safe here but for how long vidic won’t give up i don’t think we are safe here i think they’re gonna find us quite easily easily i was that load of nfts you got on that right screen though what’s going on yeah well well what’s the computer packing

I i don’t know what’s going on with that all right uh oh i’m impressed any but i just want to check my email any of these guys got computers probably not uh can i i don’t want to talk to you i just i hate him i hate him so much

Why do we have to stay down here all day abstergo’s still looking for us it’d be better if we never went out at all but then we’d run out of supplies during a rainstorm yeah well knowing the templars monsoon season’s about to arrive all right way to carry on the uh analogy

I guess can i use someone’s can i use your computer please you ever use the animus oh god your ancestors have such interesting lives i went in once it was pretty lame yeah what were you some kind of spinster probably what were you first a prussian mercenary i spent hours firing guns

Boring you’re telling me you should have seen me all right is that it are we we you still want to talk yeah i know you still wanted some more i’m all turned around i mean do you focusing on this oh apparently not she’s focusing on that there’s harry potter in the background

Over there with his [ __ ] gay wand oh you want to have a we have work to do stick a cheeky finger in all right let’s [ __ ] talk to this piece of [ __ ] then you still managing the teams out in the field no phone line rebecca’s working on

Patching us into the network so how does it feel letting the lady do all the work she’s that lady hey i mean he’s not really the most in-depth of characters then is he let’s be honest you think we’re safe here i’m more concerned with the other assassins out there if abstergo stumbles

Onto information about the temples we could have a disaster on our hands the only people alive who’ve heard of the temples are here in this room for now who knows maybe they’re listening to this conversation and you just gave everything away you brought them this first you are paranoid desmond ah

But you brought them up first what does any of this mean my usual computer tension desmond but you’re not using it can i use it i’m busy right now i don’t need a living busy around i just want you to get you’re not even using it check my email

Wait maybe this is my computer no one else gets a cool gaming chair no no no no no don’t put me in someone use vr to check my email akira throws 89 bits saying holy terrible character dialogue drunk man it wasn’t good was it it didn’t said to go out and check my

Email and i’m back in [ __ ] ancient rome where email didn’t exist it was just mail where am i gonna chat but he said there’s no [ __ ] phone line that’s why i can communicate with the the teams running outside so how have i got email desmond’s back has anyone thought about any of this

That’s that’s the water table right there that’s the only it’s the only purpose it serves this is the screen box uh this is lucy she needs two screens everyone else gets one even the tech [ __ ] only gets one but lucy gets two because she’s yeah yeah

Well maybe if i no okay give her a bit of that is it that note this so there’s no check email option uh honestly i think it should be this but you’re not playing game oh yeah you’re not you know i love playing games playing ball he’s not game

I uh wait could this be a computer no it’s just a box oh my god i did it oh [ __ ] you know better be good uh oh i could read other people’s email his name is sean and i wish he was dead okay pastor what is my password assassins

Nobody you know highlighted sean’s [ __ ] voice actor [ __ ] irks me so god that’s so [ __ ] condescending yes his name is danny wallace and he is like that in real life he’s a prick all right so we got a schedule from lucy i i would like to read it please oh okay

We’re at the schedule monday where everyone has an animus session and we’ve got a supply run that’s fine lucy’s cleaning up and uh shawn to relieve lucy at 3 p.m she’s very stressed she needs a little strumming now and again tuesday everyone’s in for the animus of course yeah sean’s on cleanup

Uh wednesday animal session again yeah rebecca’s on cleanup right okay animal session thursday lucy’s on clean up clean up sean on friday anima session team breakfast excellent and uh everyone and then we’re having a team meeting on saturday that’s cool yeah uh animal session on sunday uh no

It’s how i’m never cleaning up i’m absolutely fine with that i’m down there’s there’s nothing more to see on that there’s no attachment of boobs rebecca we got nah [ __ ] shawn yeah wonderful passwords i’m guessing here though you know lucy she don’t trust me there’s no trust there’s no trust

All right so i checked my email that was worth it apparently oh god akira for 100 bits if you’re stuck in ancient rome and want to check your email you just have to check your tablet [Applause] [Laughter] strong work all right here we go back in ancient rome once more

And uh oh yeah is the map right we’re just doing uh we’re just out here we’re just doing our thing you get to i’ll take i mean let’s go [ __ ] let’s go merc some people it feels like i feel so i should be killing more people than i am right now you know

This is also where the drunkards go i guess this is the the colosseum is the equivalent of under a bridge well i probably can’t make that yeah yeah no no not not not feeling good not feeling good uh what’s that square [ __ ] that’s probably that’s just a rock in it

It’s not even straw it’s just a [ __ ] rock we’ll be looking for like little uh little pigeons but ain’t no little pigeons so uh well i mean do i just go for it kind of want to just go for it but i probably shouldn’t

Yeah a bit a little give a bit of that oh yeah i can nice this land with your knees they’re not after me they don’t know who i am they don’t even care after plane ah after flaring spider-man it seems weird running along the ground like this i don’t like it

All right here’s my capitan i am now entering a restricted area oh i’m a rebel me i’m a rebel excuse me said you have the time time to die he’s got he’s got strap the guy he’s got strap i just sat there ducking like just get off the platform you piece of [ __ ]

There’s the next one where’s the other guy apparently i’m right on top of him not in a gay way yet let’s give it a little bit of that now and again because you never know we might come across this uh another weird little eye guys look at this

I always want to get paid oh more people oh wait no they’re gonna find shut up [ __ ] what no oh i kind of feel bad any kinda ah steady simo you die you’re gonna [ __ ] do about a dick nothing you’re gonna die like a [ __ ] in the wind the pussy’s in the wind

He’s a child chill out akira says i forget how [ __ ] forgiving this game is it oh well if i’m going down you might as well come with me gentlemen i was busy is there more oh there’s more and they’re facing the other direction Off me i’ll get off you all right once you did what are you gonna do about it podcast well i feel confident that many people have died and that is the kind of thing that you want to be confident about in the assassins yes when i say the assassins game i

Don’t mean the actual game i mean the assassin business what i’ve been here i mean the assassin business of assassining you know you want to uh you want to be sure of yourself Oh we haven’t oh we’re having a pie that was all right but he’s escaped yeah piece of [ __ ] maybe i should have gone this way i don’t know where i how’d that get there you know what’s going on oh there’s some more oh biggens eh wow [ __ ] your armor fat [ __ ] Well i mean i guess piss on all of that then eh it was fun well we maybe you know she’s going through that way Hmm right now look i’m guys i’m actually really [ __ ] annoyed that your captain just took off oh [ __ ] horse prick killing your own men what’s horse man going to do is he coming for is he doing again you doing again you’re an idiot mate you’re an idiot oh [ __ ] give me that

Grand theft equine oh oh oh that’s oh you can do that shove well i can shove the horse that never ends well does it never push a horse i’ll kick the [ __ ] out of you it’s true i can stand up it’s not really standing is it i’m all like

I’m squatting on my horse i’m not standing also pretty [ __ ] is steering when you stood up as well mate i’m just saying maybe keep your ass on that saddle it’s not meant for feet all the time [ __ ] me mate i’m miles away thank goodness for oh not public transportation private

Transportation in the way of horses i s well i mean maybe it is public because like i stole it off of a and that is best people’s taxpayers money do the thing deliver the letter is really the best use of my skills delivering letters that sounded like a person

I don’t believe that’s an actual wolf [Applause] here a highlight highlighter for 100 bits oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] was pouring a drink you pricks i care for 100 bits say yeah what is a gigantic horse oh my god You’re getting created i’m pretty sure they won’t they want actual wolves although for people who idolize wolves they seem to have killed a lot of them so they can look like them like if you’re going to idolize them why are you killing them where did these murderers come from from the wolf people

Oh i could loot i didn’t get hit either yeah throwing knives okay oh some bullets yeah i need some bullets these guys are why don’t i have bullets no one had guns wolves don’t use guns commit to the part all right swords out this time they’re not going to go in here

Why would they have come from in there why would you look at that and go yeah um that’s that must be where the wolf people came from this doesn’t make sense if they were rap people sure they’d be in a sewer but they’re not are they they’re wolf people

I’ll even take crocodile people i didn’t get up that at ezio you’re not thinking it through mate are you the shrine to romulus i’ll do within eight minutes fun times give me lots of jumping pulling levers and [ __ ] like that oh perhaps the best example of early roman

Imperial machismo nero had this goldy monstrosity built after the great fire of rome though to have been as big as 300 acres thought to as big as 300 acres thought to have been as big as 300 acres this gilded and bejeweled palace contained vineyards pastures with flocks

Groves and a man-made cake god damn it man-made lake assist the cake it’s i’ve got cake on the brain to top it off nero commissioned a 35-meter tall bronze statue of himself to be placed just outside the main entrance reassuring any doubters as to who exactly owned the building the

Palace was known as a party villa considering there were over 300 rooms none of which were sleeping quarters the least the list of ridiculous extravagances goes on forever one standout being a mechanism powered by slaves that rotated the domed ceiling of the grand dining hall as the heavens

While reigning rose petals onto nero’s guests below oh now that is luxury in it getting people to rotate your roof [ __ ] delightful mate sign me up got it uh yeah over here we got eight minutes to do this [ __ ] so that means it’s gonna be like what a [ __ ] 10 minute mission really

And if you’re well behaved you get it done in eight but i ain’t well behaved oh my bad man all right so i’m just filling up a [ __ ] bath great hope it takes less than eight minutes is that it might not oh there’s another one i think i think i could do that

Akira for 100 again love it so it was an orgy place with slaves it seems that way yeah genuinely [Laughter] i mean like [ __ ] rose petals and [ __ ] falling from the ceiling a [ __ ] a big old dome [ __ ] rotating around because people are looking up a lot

Yeah of course it was hello i mean we’re talking ancient rome mate they basically invented the orgy didn’t they they [ __ ] love a bit of it all right not that way then not that way so i love a bit of it they love all of

It i think you had uh i mean rose petals is one thing there’s one so they [ __ ] would drop uh yogurt or yogurt uh from the rafters onto people as they’re you know orgying away see like things weren’t so bleak back then were they this isn’t because there

Weren’t any like nintendo switches or anything so everyone was just like all right let’s [ __ ] piss all else to do i thought only if you were rich though obviously like you know i would have been rich i’d have been like i’d be out there for like collecting and selling [ __ ] horse done

I’d never be able to afford an orgy i mean hell it now and we live in the best times ever i still can’t afford an orgy i could have just waited for one fountain to fill the whole thing up oh [ __ ] oh that’s my bad there was already water down there

I kind of feel cheated all right well i mean [ __ ] [ __ ] dropping down mate let’s go careful there’s rocks in there there’s also wolf people all right which of you [ __ ] wants to dance how the [ __ ] did they go that’s a nice painting wasted on the wolf people though that’s the thing [Applause]

Hey man all right okay you gotta keep some doors closed at all times i care for 60s that’s nice 69 bits so you can afford a wee bit of an orgy i don’t want to go to a wii orgy that does not sound that doesn’t float my proverbial goat no sir not me

What what the [ __ ] is going on then i gotta climb the pot oh my god it’s not even a part i’ve been lied to stop me tell on the wall then as well like look there’s a there’s something going on here oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

We do the jump arounds pick up on that no too high up too high up ah all right so there’s a pot there eight [ __ ] minutes my ass mate oh jesus wept ezio you piece of [ __ ] why is it why does it keep whispering like that scary i’m not playing phasmophobia mate

I’m not playing ghosts leave me alone we’re making scary-ass [ __ ] noises i’m already getting attacked by [ __ ] wolf people you gotta make it [ __ ] even more terrifying ah great right now i’m there i’m in this room now uh [ __ ] all going on here right oh you

Gotta get that uh so it’s always the part in it get up on the pot it’s good for you calms you down ride that around yeah up on that give this one the old heave-ho bosh ah we’re playing [ __ ] about it guys divine petra that says how do you know

You don’t like it you never even tried it i just got to get the feeling oh geez heavily based in urine not not not my cup of tea not my cup of pete what how the [ __ ] is that happening why has it gotta be on fire no one asked for this

Hold on mate modifier climb up on your shoulders his fingertips must be [ __ ] red rule right now as raw as lindsay aymar’s fingertips because she never thought to just tape them up oh he’s pointing out cheers mate appreciate that a legend give me the old point ernie that way bro oh choose me

Oh eight minutes is probably done up man it’s like i mean i took a minute oh that one he’s got his top off saucy yeah i like women yeah we’re not getting any hundred percent on this i’m all out of it i’m not going to get 100 on everything you know

I think i did when i played this before but like hey i worked at it you know some for some reason there’s some things that you do work out yeah i i don’t look if i get all the uh achievements on this game i’ll finally be happy you know

This is what i need in my life this is what i’ve been waiting for ah it wasn’t uh am i here now sort of oh [ __ ] off oh wait is that good you like that little [ __ ] he actually said rawr it’s not normal is it he actually said rar

I’m going on in there spiral staircase oh oh cheeky wall you know i think i might have came in this way yeah i think i think i did i think i did yeah no i’ve yeah i definitely did did i yeah was it this way nah this way’s good we’re all right

I’m definitely meant to be going this way i feel it in my balls man pop the pot [ __ ] [ __ ] what’s the why why is that even there there’s such that that’s why divine petulant a bunch of says and that is why they must go yeah great now right yeah

Oh i heard a honk mate that means i’ll i’ve got like a minute ah that was me eight minutes yeah see i’d make a terrible assassin irl ah [ __ ] i was only like 10 seconds off kind of sucks all right so uh my man is that a chair that’s not a [ __ ] chair

A throne for a giant or something like i got [ __ ] climb up on that i’m sitting on that [ __ ] no one mate no one you feel like a little kid sat on it oh [ __ ] well i found his body i’m gonna leave it there though because history is there to be preserved

And that includes people’s corpses officer [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] whispering do you think i can make that hooray i can how annoying would it be if he just slipped you know how hard did you hit that phone do you know what maybe this uh eight eight minutes you got to get this

Done in eight minutes don’t feel it myself it’s not a lot i can do in eight minutes except have sex twice but well i gotta get on that seems like a waste of time but okay can i not just done this before we’ll preferred it it’s a very complex way of

Not taking the stairs perfectly right railed up if i fall yeah fantastic mate really happy for you really happy for you uh i’m guessing that way then yeah we got uh i mean what have we got here can i give it a little bit of oh i can look at that

Can we go up i would like to go up please here can we upsy daisy sort of thing oh we can he’s very talented especially like how he devised physics right claim the treasure of romulus you know i think i will got some tomorrows Big fan of tomatoes [ __ ] hell he really was are these like like [ __ ] special are these famous tomatoes or something it just it just seems to be regular tomatoes well hold on i reckon that’s from skyrim that bust i recognize that [ __ ] ain’t pulling one on me mate

And oh thank [ __ ] it was a dead dog on the table all right cool and uh and the big one bully special prize an elder scroll it’s a scroll of romulus i leave my family’s armor here one of the finest sets ever made may you who finds it

Received strength in battle and then a change of handwriting we’ve taken it and sent it back behind the iron door six keys unlock it spread amongst our brothers it should be said to come from romulus and i know worship it zoom to see image there i want to see

Kind of garish in it yeah as armor goes perfect kevlar oh and look at that the easiest way in is just unlocked if only we knew about the trapdoor i want to exit through the ceiling hatch thank you i mean it’s only wood in it like if you’re there and you find

A [ __ ] a wooden trapdoor you’d be like oh i wonder where this goes oh you don’t you ask your boss hey where’s this girl you go oh i don’t know he asked his boss to go i don’t know no one knows said you know what let’s find out worse comes to us

Has been terrorizing the city for months and driving the people into the arms of the church quite convenient exactly i believe the borgia are supporting them but proof remains scarce that is why the letter is so important yeah great here it is i hope you can break a cypher

This one was supposed to be legible wait no da vinci they are transmitting them using a code sheet without it we have nothing yeah that is probably an italian way to win a war makes it a lot more complicated you said we had allies in the city bring me to them follow me

Uh i will not oh god i will for [ __ ] sake following this prick around everywhere i kill him i’m trying but i can’t god do i hate this guy with his one glove you look like a damn fool machiavelli jackson what’s it oh god we going into the public toilet together

Oh [ __ ] i think we might be oh god we are we recently began traveling through the tunnels to avoid the guards but many of the entrances in the city are broken yeah by using them we can get to our destination rapidly without encountering resistance just wait isn’t it well

Okay i’m just gonna follow a strange man into an underground tunnel oh my mother would not be happy to see this oh [ __ ] this is like fast travel how dull then yeah as well a pleasure fabio orsini massive shoulders mate i’ve heard a great deal about you from my

Cousin bartolomeo dalviano they’re fine warriors fabio haslam careful 1-3-1 why is this macaroni then i am off to begin preparation macaroni vampire i like it today commands my men but soon i hope we will be free great go off of work now i propose we begin planning our assault on the borgia

Yeah whatever you want one glove you think we are ready for somebody have a club you have to buy both gloves at the same time you just buy one aboard your troops to katarina’s forza what are you also unaware that the borgia have captured the apple of eden

How could we have lost the apple losing what goes on with our enemies do we at least have an underground here to work with we just went through the underground idiot our mercenaries are ensnared in a losing battle with cesare’s french allies we have girls working for us in a brothel

Frequented by cardinals and other important romans but the madam there is lazy and would rather attend parties further our cause what about the city’s thieves do they have a guild c there’s still going to be plenty of thieves i don’t know why what are you going to do gonna go talk

To the thieves make some friends oh [ __ ] and then the credits roll and there’s like some heavy electric attack that’s the outro to my old videos hmm oh god oh no no no no no no no no run away from your memories run next yeah run get hide in the box

Never made it to the box remember that channel the box it was like mtv except it played music sequence three but there was so much i wanted to do in sequence two no one will ever know you are back the [ __ ] off mate oh what’s your [ __ ] horse out of my face

I’m not [ __ ] all right Where’d he go where’d he [ __ ] [ __ ] you’ve done nothing mate you can’t [ __ ] park there and you know it get out of here get out of here and you god i hate horses why miss sparkle [ __ ] he was a good horse he died in the beginning though very sad

Was also very sad guys now this is unfortunate this is the end of the stream thank you for uh everyone who hung in there as well when we were having i mean technical difficulties at the beginning it was it was difficult to get the game started and then it was glitchy

As [ __ ] and i hadn’t activated windows but everything came together in the end didn’t it uh divine petulance redeemed the fergus manning experience ah well i’m gonna set you up with a uh wait no that’s 1940s uncle wait use fergus man that’s john boy’s companion that’s it

Can’t remember well i’m gonna set you up with uh a raid before we get out of here isn’t that right john boy he isn’t here moon our dragon says the earthquakes hell yeah that’s exactly what we’re talking about right there the goddamn glitching the earthquakes we uh we had

Sex with that one girl and the earth literally moved i’m gonna i’m gonna set you up with a stream before i head on out of here though so let’s just go ahead and see who’s on my shelf but rest assured i’m gonna be back on wednesday night with more john spiderman

As uh it’s a game that i literally cannot get enough of plus i spent 50 pounds on it so i mean it’d be nice to actually get to play it [Laughter] it’s one of those things where you uh you get a game for streaming and then you’re like why what play it now not going to send you out of that guys he’s playing mass effect which is one of the best games in existence when you go

Over there be sure to let him know that i am not only an assassin but i’m part of a brotherhood now so we should watch out thank you very much for watching guys whatever you’re doing tonight make sure you enjoy it and i’ll see you on the next one You

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