Hurricane hit it if it’s attached to it welcome back to another episode of the corporate Cowboys podcast my name is Alex I’m joined by your co-host Alex oh yeah today is Friday of all days one day before Saturday two before Sunday type of thing it’s March 24 2023. and if you didn’t know
The corporate Cowboys podcast is meant to help you just accept it let it happen we’re here to help you develop professionally and each and every one of these episodes serves as a form of cathartic therapy excuse my companion here sorry they’re going through something no no
So this uh this should help with your professional development and because we tend to do this uh during breaks during our off hours it gives us some time because we never really have an off time where I mean as professionals we’re always on call right Alex yes sir so it
Gives us a little bit of time to uh decompress and spitball ideas kind of Riff Off of questions that are posed online so if it comes across comedically just just understand that it’s meant to entertain and educate you at the same time trying to sprinkle you a game y’all
Sprinkle me man sprinkle you again today’s question is coming off of our slash jobs and uh they’re asking or so they’re more I guess they’re stating they’re stating here and uh this one has been flagged I guess that the topic is quote office relations the statement says corporate culture
Makes my skin crawl corporate culture makes my [ __ ] skin crawl oh my goodness whenever I step in the door I’m gonna start reading off like from the get whenever I step in the door I feel like I’ve entered the Matrix oh [ __ ] there’s an uncanny valley effect in play like
The Truman Show okay so we’re starting off thick here right if if the listener has ever seen The Matrix then then you would know then you would know that uh everything that takes place in The Matrix is based off of computer programs and computer programming uh everyone’s has like a set
Has set rules that they operate on that’s pretty much the premise of the Matrix and The Truman Show is makes sense is uh I guess like a like a false reality in a sense where the main character the protagonist what’s his face Truman is being monitored throughout his life yeah so this this
Hypothetical client if you will is analogizing working in corporate with the Matrix and I’ve said this before I don’t know if you were present when I said it Alex but in episodes passed this is like a recurring theme if for for those individuals who’ve uh who are given that chance
Of choosing the red pill or the blue pill the moment you choose to go to work in corporate the moment you choose the take that offer and sign the line you’re taking the blue pill you’re taking the blue pill now wait which one was the blue pill the blue pill is the shitty
Pill the red pill is what quote wakes you up and like how has you be like a like a free agent right red pills is them Thug [ __ ] huh yes okay yeah yeah but the reason the reason I assumed the blue pill on our hypothetical clients is
Because I want them to realize first that corporate is a system and as a corporate Cowboy you ought to think about infiltrating the system like don’t let the system inform how you work you come in and run [ __ ] on the system right yeah so yeah you might take the blue pill because any
Number of reasons oh I got bills that pay oh I got a family to feed Oh I wanna I wanna get promoted to move up yeah right so you voluntarily take the blue pill but you want to operate like a red pill consuming [ __ ] yeah that makes sense right you’re infiltrating
Corporate this is a corporate war and I’ve I’ve said this before folks are born into this if whether you’re born you know in western civilization in the United States or if you’re born in [ __ ] Africa where they might not have like as uh regulated markets just yet right
You’re born into this corporate War the sooner you realize it is the sooner you wake up and can actually make moves for yourself and I think I think what they’re really talking about at least from what I get what we were talking about like those analogies it’s just like they
Get frustrated with the lack of of lack of uh genuineness you know what I mean the lack of authenticity uh and the that makes sense just they think every they feel like everything’s fake nobody really means what they’re doing and everybody’s acting exactly exactly and that’s that’s essentially what the
Hypothetical client is saying here is that it feels like a movie like the [ __ ] is scripted yeah right so and that’s that’s the premise of The Truman Show yeah and so so they continue they write uh the office the show The Office the the mini-series yeah or the series right
The office seemed like or used to seem absurd but now it seems like a barely exaggerated documentary they continue I’ve now been part of three outwardly reputable organizations and each time it’s been the same [ __ ] from a different bull there’s stilted interactions there’s brown nosing there’s humble bragging there’s power tripping
Shout and froed or shattered frayed and everything strategic everything is unnatural everything is strategic everything is unnatural and they say it makes me sick I feel like grabbing certain colleagues by their thick skulls and screaming wipe the plastic smile off your an unto his face
And be real just for once stop trying I wish I could I could give it a little bit more emotion right I hit it on the nose just for once they say stop trying to subtly sabotage me grow up and tell me what your problem is so we can work
Through what’s like intelligent adults it makes I mean it makes sense yeah but I feel like if this person voluntarily joined up right and and I make it sound like it’s something uh paramilitary yeah I make it sound like it’s something paramilitary but if they voluntarily you know joined up they
Ought to know what they’re going into like this [ __ ] called office politics is called office politics for a [ __ ] reason right not only not only do you go to work with your co-workers but you also in a sense are competing with them yeah because there’s only a limited
Number of promotions and not everybody can have one yeah so that’s probably what they’re operating on I mean like here’s the thing is that like it takes a certain person to succeed in corporate because not like this this hypothetical client maybe isn’t a good candidate for corporate because
Like it’s it’s not that yeah everybody is kind of fake right but like the fun part is being able to see through these things there you go you know what I mean and that’s foreign [ __ ] who like like I see through you my ninja and I speak
To you on a level that you can understand but that you can’t prove there you go you know what I’m saying what Alex is implying is that this uh this colleague that the hypothetical client wants to quote grab by their thick school and yell in their face to
Wipe the plastic smile off of their unktuous face and be real right you could you don’t have to do that I mean that’s that’s a that’s a quote intrusive thought right you don’t have to let intrusive thoughts ruin your day you could move through corporate and sidestep [ __ ] pull a Heisman on
These [ __ ] and do it moving do it like do it moving like a professional like a corporate Cowboy stiff armor exactly just because you know how to run through corporate doesn’t mean that you have to let corporate bring you down run through you exactly exactly I mean like like um
You you gonna you’re gonna face people that all kinds of people from all walks of life of don’t [ __ ] like were they Martin Luther King Jr right okay I’ll bring him up man sure he used to make this a beautiful Court I used to love it violence
Is a tool of the inner articulate [Laughter] Martin Luther King sounds like a corporate Cowboy he knew what he was working with you getting mad because you don’t know what to say right you don’t know how to act you don’t know how to win you don’t know how to how to learn
How to win so you get mad right you don’t like it now but if you was winning you’d be loving it though I feel like what a lot of uh hypothetical clients don’t get like like you’re implying here is is the difference between working with your colleagues and working your
Colleagues yes sir you feel me yes so if you have those objectives if you have those personal goals of wanting to move up you’re gonna you’re gonna have to balance working with your colleagues to working your colleagues now for you to move up for example for example there’s people that like he said
Are are what she say humble braggers right right humble braggers like oh you know when I do this weekend [Laughter] turns out so yeah YouTube you can still set I mean yeah you treat them a certain way like you feed their ego because because it throws them off their game you know what
I mean it leaves are vulnerable it leads to him comfortable granted there are clients who don’t feel comfortable playing the corporate the office politics game right but what we say is that in order to move like a corporate cowboy in order to secure your livelihood you have to think like a corporation you
Have to elevate yourself and what we help you do is Elevate yourself to negotiate directly with corporate you got to think corporate yeah and it’s not even about like you know being fake it’s just understanding it’s understanding the language and and uh you know uh relaying relaying message messages
Clearly or like you know uh it’s not fake it’s just you’re you’re learning how to you’re learning how to manage groups exactly you’re learning how to manage group dynamics exactly and then like okay yeah like acting acting is fake but it’s professional like it’s exactly it feeds into the professional
Theme and not only that whatever you’re faking because you’re faking everything because you’re an actor that’s your job right but those emotions they come from a real place you know what I’m saying that’s it so everything you do as a corporate Cowboy comes from a real place
It’s just sometimes you got to swing things how you swing them when you swing them to get what you think you need to go get that [ __ ] out the park to get where the [ __ ] you’re going exactly and it again it doesn’t mean you’ll end up with uh with uh with the long
Lived career in one organization you could lateral anytime you want but what do you think the next Corporation is going to be like you think it’s going to be different you think it’s going to be any [ __ ] different no whether or not it’s more competitive less competitive green or or hippie or
Woke you’re still going to have the same aspects of corporate which is competition not only are you competing between firms like oh it’s going to be your organization versus the composition but there’s internal competition because again it comes back to looking out for your own livelihood and The Limited
Number of promotional opportunities that exist now that’s if you want to continue in corporate again you could be outside working on your own independent contractor and setting your own rates but again you’d have to do more administrative work and that’s that’s you know higher level thinking that you
Could retain us for but you could you could also do like you know like quiet work where you don’t talk to anybody you know what I’m saying but like honestly whenever you’re interacting with people even without corporate like you think anybody is 100 real all the
Time and you think HR is looking out for you no but no even your best friend even your families like you think you know your family 100 yeah the everybody lies everybody’s the quote the quote family institution is an institution it’s an organization there’s there’s certain roles people play certain Paper people
Put up the only in order to legitimize their position the only person who knows the true you and you’re never lying to is yourself there you go there you go well and even then a lot of people still lie to themselves so that happens on the regular you know
What I’m saying you still lie to themselves that’s the only person who shouldn’t lie to you the only person you shouldn’t lie to is yourself and it happens and you’re thinking oh I’ll just stick it out five more years and I’ll move on nah homie how about how about
You work five more years to move up don’t don’t become complacent don’t think you’re gonna you’re gonna stick it out and get pensioned out because the moment the moment there’s some type of innovation that makes your position obsolete what you think corporate’s gonna be like hey yo Alex
Um this new thing came down the pipeline so we’re going to give you two months to look for a job I’m gonna give you two months Star Wars to pack your [ __ ] in a box yeah maybe two weeks if you’re lucky if you’re lucky I mean like they got some
Type of courtesy so you talk about those people who are humbly um I always I just remember here humbly bragging like yeah because [ __ ] like they gotta they they know that they’re Expendable until they’re not exactly think about it this way if they humble brag sure they might be
Projecting some invulnerability no sure sorry they might be projecting some vulnerability but they want to uh present it as invulnerability right but what they’re really doing is opening a door for you opening a window for you to get in that’s that’s your move to get
In yeah you got to be and that you know sometimes that’s why employers like to negotiate your salary after a probationary period right right because they want to see if you’re worth it yeah and so a workplace you almost have to be put you through a
Test run you have to put yourself out there more than you would in real life because they want to know how you fit how you interact how you get around you got to show your worth you know what I mean what am I paying you for favoritism
Starts the day you get hired how about that sure nepotism exists sure you know preference exists all that other [ __ ] but favoritism starts the day they see how you work yeah just be the favor and you’ll be fine be Dependable be reliable it all goes towards you
Getting promoted and moving up and if you’re not then understand and be honest with yourself why why about why you not right like are you a likable person are you like be realistic with yourself you know don’t lie to yourself man Alex said it once I gotta repeat that come on all
Right let me continue here because I think there’s more yeah we’re like halfway through this one oh [ __ ] so it says here I understand many perhaps most people are probably feeling the same way and yet we play along in this corporate farce I suppose the recipe for this urinal
Cake was there all along number one okay yeah so like that that’s what they’re chalking up uh having their cake and eating eating it too was the Compromise was it being a [ __ ] cake okay as they’re saying number one take an assemblage of glorified Apes who aren’t exactly friends and in many cases
Competitors and shut them in an unnatural environment for half of their Waking Life yeah welcome to corporate baby you didn’t know what you were signing up for yeah this person this hypothetical client might be using big words but I don’t think they’re that [ __ ] smart number two they write they say add
Stress exhaustion frustration disappointment indignation Etc corollary of any job again with the big words but my dude ain’t that funny yeah otherwise he would have seen through the through this quote farce when they first signed on that’s what I’m saying bro you got he got a negative
Attitude that’s what he got exactly if he’s that smart he would have seen through it and [ __ ] ran through it like uh Neo from The Matrix look I’m the type of person because I when I’m hearing that man like yo I’m the type of person I like competition
There you go I’m a competition feels like you call me old-fashioned bro but I like that [ __ ] Victory feels good when I when I when I get on that when I when I get on like uh like any kind of sports like uh competition I don’t want my competition to be easy
Right I want it to be hard like I’m trying to have some fun out here man I’m trying to how else would you know how good you are so a little competition they never scared me bro and and as far as the disappointment [ __ ] [ __ ] it that’s part of life that
That’s that’s a that’s part of the package that comes never had disappointment in your life you ain’t never really been happy that’s a [ __ ] feature not a bug you know what I’m saying taking a strategy we got tired of losing your client number number three they’re right oh and
And speaking on hypothetical clients I do this every episode I got to leave a disclaimer none of what Alex and I send across these Airwaves should be construed as legal advice right that’s a legal disclaimer we do not Advocate or promote any wrongdoing any wrongful activity okay no sir we are
So but I mean hey if you need help if you need help strategizing your your next move in corporate uh whether it be whether it be extra legal or not you can hit us up right we’re on Instagram at corporate Cowboys with a z or on the patreon Subscribe one time
There’s a couple of tears and some of them even offer a question and answer like exclusive content that’s the corporate Cowboys podcast leave a message after the beat my ninja number three they write add all the foil bowls again with the big words stupidities vices shortcomings mental illnesses Etc
Of the individuals yeah no it sounds like our hypothetical client has some of that yeah four four they write she’s not some corporate issues that’s what it sounds like throw in a pinch of Shameless groveling nepotism and cronyism and proverbial though sometimes literal dick sucking that sounds like
This person’s stuck in the wrong dude bro oh my God they need a [ __ ] pacifier somebody’s hella green bro somebody’s green as [ __ ] over here yo cronyism is just called having having your team if you don’t know okay look I’m I’m gonna drop a gem for you one time
As soon as you get hired and I’ve done this time and time again at any any organization you get onboarded once you’re in and hired your first objective is not only learning the ins and the outs of the operation because like I said you’re you’re infiltrating this organization with a purpose yeah so
You ought to learn if you can every aspect of the operation but also recruit for your own Circle for your own hierarchy and you got to roll with the team internally right yeah what is that called it’s called cronyism cronyism networking dog exactly you know how to keep professionals around you like
You’re not I mean you won’t recruit every [ __ ] that you come across right but there’s going to be particular individuals that you could potentially persuade that you got good ideas or or better ideas than the ones that exist currently that could use their backing and support and you know you don’t have
To be fake you just have to be likable you have to be real and likeable you know what I’m saying most of the time most of the time do the fake [ __ ] are you talking about they just they’re doing it right they’re not doing it right and they might get ahead only because
They’re more likable than you are and you’re just mad at them because they’re not doing it right why are you gonna get mad at them being a worse position because they’re not doing it right when you could just do it better you could do it right exactly you know you could you
Could uh not talk [ __ ] about people but still support people wish them the best you know have have it have a genuine moment there where you’re like looking out for them trying to get to know him right and then and then do also also understand also understand they could be
A very good professional exactly integrate them into the network if you can you know what I’m saying so it’s nothing to complain about but I think this person is is a victim of their own uh is it hubris it’s a victim of them believing they’re better than others when they’re really not yeah
Otherwise they wouldn’t have came to the internet and bitched about it yeah that’s true I love those people because we need them you know what I mean there are clients there are clients but sometimes they need a reality exactly exactly you gotta you gotta clear your
Mind and you gotta you gotta uh like any like no matter where I go in this life I’m gonna try to treat people with respect and try to become cool people yeah I’m always going to try to be more likable than not likable you know what I mean
Not to where I’m kissing ass I don’t know that sounds too logical bro that sounds that’s what I’m saying no matter that’s why I know it’s weird right it sounds too loud I think our client our hypothetical client is too too smart too intelligent for that I mean you know
Like patience they’ve painted themselves into a box I know they can’t get out of it it’s [ __ ] up man I know because it’s really expensive when you’re talking in regards to like you know uh uh you’re in just the friendliness these life lessons yeah yeah you know uh these
Life lessons if you don’t learn them early on become it’s expensive it’s free to be kind to people right and then it can also help you absolutely absolutely so so that’s one thing I learned uh I don’t know why it took me so long to learn that I should just be
Nice to everyone it comes with time you know what I mean so that could come that could be construed as like sucking up but to me it’s just I’m being nice but I’m also hanging out in places where there’s professionals I mean don’t sell yourself too short I’m
Saying everybody learns it at some point in their career whether early on or later on right but uh we don’t even know how old the hypothetical client is here and we’re still relatively young right so if this person is walking in thinking they’re a hot shot thinking they deserve
It without actually earning their stripes without actually making their bones right yeah they’re a [ __ ] nobody they’re they’re and so number four it says here throw in a pinch of Shameless groveling I’m I imagine that this groveling that they’re that they’re painting is really just a respect for
The hierarchy right it’s a respect for the manager it’s even playing into your manager’s hand a little bit yeah until you take over as manager right it’s not that difficult it’s not that difficult it’s not give me six months to a year in any entry-level new position and I got
One maybe if I play it right two promotions under my belt yeah I was the same way every job I was I’m always getting promoted that’s it that’s it if I’m there for a while I’m getting promoted and if you aren’t tell tell me about those lifers who never got
Promoted and all they did was [ __ ] yeah this it’s a personality disorder my boy I don’t know you gotta go seek your mental health you talking about I can hit us up one time well we’ll smack you in the face of reality if you need it
That’s what I’m saying bro you gotta you gotta look within my G number five mix some putrid innate cravings for drama politics and power it sounds like uh yeah I’m in nature yeah I’ll just I’ll just keep it moving because it’s obvious that our hypothetical client is
Is in the [ __ ] but not with the [ __ ] yeah you feel me they they don’t know how to how to move around there’s sheep again if you need help if you find yourself in a position like this hypothetical client if you are at all relating to anything this hypothetical
Client has posted or you got a friend or an associate a buddy who who’s in that boat have them hit us up we’ll set you straight yeah we’ll get a little therapy session number six you can talk about your problems drain it strain it through a colander of hypocritical pseudo-professionalism
Oh my goodness I gotta break that down say that one more time strain it so take everything one through five and then strain it through a colander like a filter a filter I know that I know through a hypocritical pseudo-professionalism oh my goodness when when what they don’t know is that
It’s all professional even when you’re off the clock it’s professional homie like you you dropping the ball thinking that it’s professional only when you’re on the clock and then that’s probably why you think when you’re on the clock oh this shit’s fake oh that shit’s whack
Oh this [ __ ] ain’t real yeah you’ve got to be professional 24 7. if you ain’t you’re gonna get caught lacking that’s what I’m saying man [ __ ] weenies out here man all right let me finish this one up it says and there you have it stay safe after steps one through six
It’s like a little recipe for corporate which hey I’m all in agreeance with if you’re a loser if you’re on the losing side yeah take one through six and make yourself a losing cake yeah and eat that [ __ ] yeah right because you’re gonna have your cake and you’re gonna eat it
Too and they say there you have it best served with a side of therapy and ssris okay well that’s where you lost me because the only thing I put in my body is is green and and water holy water yeah holy water 40 and above that’s it
Bro that’s it it says that’s it at 27 they say oh okay so now the user age at 27. uh he said I feel I feel too young I feel too young to be This Bitter but surely some of you must feel the same way question mark
Edit and they give us a little edit afterwards they say I’m working in an outdoor job at the moment which drags when there’s inclement weather but at least I’m either by myself or with a small team of like-minded people and it’s far less Soul destroying than working in a corporate office okay okay
So they’re not even Incorporated not anymore they’re not even in court no no they work for an outdoor job oh my God but they’re saying that that uh I guess this this type of office politics I guess they can’t deal with the office politics with they don’t even work in corporate
Right so they might have got a taste for the office politics and they’re just generalizing to every [ __ ] corporate position now because sometimes those like small offices can be like [ __ ] weird man I get it they could be they could like become a shop because you think corporate like there’s a lot of
People right so you’re gonna have a lot of personalities right so the personality is like average out but like if you get like a small office you could be that one [ __ ] outlier small office where you just got like four or five crazy [ __ ] yeah yeah and it happens there’s only two
Other [ __ ] left right you know what I mean right that are normal and and that becomes that’s that becomes uh I guess priority or that becomes the mission on the hypothetical checkout check out your in this case check out your options to check out your options check out your surroundings who is it
That you actually work with who who is next in the next door office who are you working beside right if you’re working shoulder to shoulder with these people and I I think I think it behooves you to learn a little bit about them they’re gonna be within your Professional
Network positively or negatively but they uh they went to three different Corporate Offices so they said did they they said uh I’ve now been part of three outwardly reputable organizations okay so they’ve worked for three companies so they they’re saying they work for three companies and that and at each of those
Those companies they’ve got they’ve gone through three people already there’s a common denominator Alex is saying yeah and the com the nominator is you [ __ ] [ __ ] boy wake up wake up to yourself and [ __ ] do something about it oh man all right uh let me wrap this one up because we’re about 30
Minutes right now yeah yeah they leave an edit right oh so the edit was saying that they work in an outdoor job at the moment so they’re not really indoors they’re not really living the office some politics lots of sunblock yeah and uh so they’re not really in the
Corporate office and yet they still believe somehow that they’ve got some say in in how everybody else should act when in reality they’ve got an issue with how they act yeah right it’s unfortunate but sometimes it’s what it is yeah and uh but I guess at the very
End that there is a redeeming sense that they say I’m sure this doesn’t I’m sure there they miswrote it I sure this I’m sure this doesn’t apply to all organizations at least I hope not well it doesn’t all right I’ll give you that there are some organizations and should
I have been part of them and if anything it I guess it comes down to you if you should ever move up hypothetical client which I doubt you will given your track record if you should ever move up then it becomes it comes it falls down it
Falls on you it falls on you to create that corporate cultural change uh to have it be a more healthy environment that promotes Better Business that promotes service not only outwardly but upwardly right because or as an alternative as a small alternative sure sure uh change your situation to match your personality
Right like if you don’t if you don’t do well in office politics and you don’t do well with people yeah um look at what kind of people you do want to be around what kind of environment you do want to be around and how I can tailor my profession to to
Interact in in those manners oh okay okay so instead of complaining about all these corporations find where you are happy yeah and be a professional there yeah no not in all seriousness no and that I mean that would entail uh some follow-up consultations I mean what we’re talking about here is essentially
Having the hypothetical client in front of us being able to interview them yeah in depth I will find out what their background is if you consult me yeah I’ll be nice being able to find out what their background is what their interests are is really what industry they’re in
Because uh outside work what what they say here is having an outdoor job that could be any [ __ ] number of things right it’s a super specific huh exactly so we would have to really dig down a bit and and again this is this all comes
Down to what being a case by case spaces so I’ll repeat myself by plugging uh the the Instagram then we’re at 30 minutes now so we’re sorry uh come meet us that’s at corporate Cowboys with a z and uh you could also write to us also use the snail mail that’s P.O box
3372 Rancho Cordova California 95741 you want to donate by all means shoot us a dollar shoot us a million shoot us your life savings if you want please that’s uh there’s a couple of links floating around the PayPal of venmo cash app all that take care of yourselves
And uh you know just just move like a corporate cowboy in and out so my boys take it easy peace love respect
source
