Thank you for joining me on another episode of the corporate Cowboys podcast my name is Alex and if you don’t know by now I’m your host silly this is this is a cathartic professional development free session podcast so every one of these episodes is about 30 minutes you can treat it as a
Consultation one that you did not ask for but one that you walked into right pretend Let’s Pretend right you walk into my office and you ask me a question just point blank how would a corporate Cowboy do this how would a corporate Cowboy approach that right if you don’t have a circle of
Friends you can do that with if all your friends are jerk-offs and [ __ ] around and [ __ ] smoke drugs drink every weekend if you don’t have any time with them that you can build something productively have a a conversation that revolves around growing and improving yourself professionally to get after
That [ __ ] bread and butter bread and butter butter and guns right then you run into us before you come to us reach out you can find us on Instagram it’s IG right at corporates Cowboys with the Z at the end we’re also on patreon it’s the corporate Cowboys podcast multiple tiers
Are open right there’s always space come on in some of those tiers the higher up you go have more exclusive Q and A sessions you can get personalized content also you can write to us I mean we’ll write back just give us a little time obviously we can set something up
If you want uh something tailored to you if you want personal career Consulting coaching motivation in that sense a different perspective on your situation on how to move up through corporate and be that Cutthroat [ __ ] you know you are but righteous hit us up we’re stand-up guys with Criminal Minds
Stand Up Guys with Criminal Minds I’ll double down uh one uh what is it Rumble YouTube just about any place that a podcast are distributed so without further Ado oh Proof of Life first today is Friday March 3rd if you’re ready for the weekend nice if you’re not ready for the
Weekend I mean the weekend is here dog if you’re not sharpening your knives oiling down your guns with the [ __ ] are you doing you’re yeah all right this question is coming from r slash career guidance and the question is tagged for advice flared for advice they’re flagging us
They want us to give advice right and now I’m hopeful because well the body is not that long but typically what I do is I read it closely I read it to you and I pull from it you see I’m giving you the blueprint on how to move like a
Corporate Cowboy I’m giving you my secret recipe for how I consult with clients so I’m taking this question I’m treating this person as if they were my hypothetical client though nothing again again nothing else and I say this every episode nothing that I say nothing that is conveyed across the social media
Accounts of the corporate Cowboys ought to be construed to be legal advice right if you don’t [ __ ] know us then you don’t know us but if you know us you more than likely owe us okay so we’ll be coming to collect your [ __ ] ass shortly collect on that ass shortly um
As we read the question right if for whatever reason we think we could add Nuance or pull inferences in the in terms of context then we’ll go ahead and do that I’ll let you know how and why right because then that will help us better inform any opinion we could
Possibly create because we don’t have the hypothetical clients in front of us we can’t ask them interview questions back to back with follow-ups in between right so we do the best that we can given the materials that are given to us by the op or our hypothetical client through what they type
Hopefully hopefully because they’re on the path of professional development that’s why we even go to these forums and subreddits hopefully because they’re on the path to professional development they’ve written somewhat coherently I don’t necessarily read all these questions beforehand right so if I read through it and it’s utter [ __ ] I’ll let
You know if it’s poorly written I’ll let you know if it could be be written better again the questions that we could ask in order to pull more information in an interview in terms of uh background context circumstantial evidence we might need I’ll ask those questions those are
Questions that you might want to write down notes that you want to take whether it’s on a pad and paper with a pen you want to do that on your phone or in your mind if you’re listening to this while you drive while you work maybe you work on the late
Night shift and you’re thinking what what a corporate Cowboy do to move out of third shift but I don’t think this question is about that this question is asking I have completely ruined my life by getting a worthless degree what should I do question mark so many so many
Such cases it’s sad really it’s unfortunate though I’m more so laughing because I mean they chose it right they went through they were LED like sheeps to the slaughter sheeps they were LED like a cattle like sheep to the slaughterhouse and uh we’re absolutely violated in college I tend to think
That these were individuals that were told that a bachelor’s degree would like absolutely secure them some employment and then life comes around and it’s like you know what dog we don’t need we don’t need another Psychology major we don’t need another political science major all you [ __ ] out here are just
[ __ ] on prospects because you don’t know how to Market your [ __ ] we don’t need another gender studies another woman in the workplace [ __ ] uh what is it LGB [ __ ] identifying how to identify yourself you know we don’t need those [ __ ] Majors we don’t need them we need you as individuals to
Put in work we don’t we don’t need what you represent right you have to sell us on that you have to Market us and if it’s [ __ ] we’ll see through it I’m sorry I’m not a little flirting I got a little heated there but corporate doesn’t want to hear about
Your [ __ ] [ __ ] corporate wants to see results and you can sell us results right which is why I suppose we have uh certain months that are designated right to certain identities and the more you think about it like a corporate Cowboy the more it makes sense that it’s an entire month
And that it’s the same month every year so it’s a month to look forward to creating inventory and stocking shelves and just capitalizing and profiting off of Prof is it profiting or profiteering profiteering profiteering off of these virtual signaling [ __ ] made [ __ ] who are gonna go buy
The shirts buy the hats buy the [ __ ] rings or whatever the [ __ ] they really get down to the nitty-gritty to the niche to the niche targets what is it now Harry Potter right [ __ ] Harry Potter’s hot all of a sudden because it came out with a game and I hear it’s [ __ ] anyways
I mean I don’t play video games but it could be [ __ ] it could not be [ __ ] I don’t give a [ __ ] I haven’t read a lick of this of the body on this question but I’ll start now so they say they start I messed up my life by getting a journalism degree
I mean journalism you could still do but knowing what I know of higher education of public institutions especially in western civilization today I mean that shit’s gonna be dripping dripping with Marxism or Socialism or rightism whatever the [ __ ] you want to call it it’s going to be dripping
With bias and [ __ ] and outright [ __ ] and I doubt I doubt you’ll be able to to put together a good journalistic methodology without it without it being rotted with social justice unfortunately it’s unfortunate but real generalist still exists right they’re investigative they are they infiltrate they infiltrate and
Exfiltrate using covers I mean it’s harder in today’s day and age because you’re necessarily taking up an identity you’re infiltrating corporate or whatever organization that you want to get dirt on it could be a formal or informal it could be a professional it could be criminal right you were
Necessarily embedding yourself in a certain culture it takes in in an ethno what’s it called an ethnographic approach to investigation you actually have to get your hands dirty which a lot of people in today’s day and age don’t want to do so what they get a journalism degree and
They go work for CNN or Fox and they’re just they’re not even reporting they’re repeating [Laughter] just repeating what they’ve been told to say they’re not even reporting on findings anymore they’re not finding [ __ ] all right the question the question let’s go back to the [ __ ] prompt this
Person says I’m a stereotypical loser dog why you gotta put yourself down but I get it you graduate with a journalism degree at least at least you’re self-aware they say I’m nearly 27. I’m nearly 27. you ain’t that old dog you still have time
I this could be a male or a female I’ll talk to you the same way why because this is this is what I do in my off time I could be on break I could be just in the morning getting ready I could this could be after work right you’re coming into my
Office and unless you have engaged me professionally on a professional level unless you’re paying for my services I’ll talk to you however I damn well please as long as I’m not physically hurting you no no no no no no hold on hold on because some some [ __ ]
Uh continuing I’m nearly 27. I still live with my parents again not unnormal in today’s Market not unnormal right still fixable still resolvable not unnormal I have they continue I have a low paying job that’s completely dead end I chose journalism because I’m too stupid to do anything else
Yes I know I should have dropped out I have zero interests in life itself so I definitely don’t have any preferred careers you sound depressed Tommy you sound like you’re in a depressed state I have zero passions well God damn [Laughter] I mess up everything I touch in technical work I’ve tried
Also in a bunch of debt so I don’t even know if it makes sense to get into even more why would you get into even more debt doing what going back to school I take it but if you if you didn’t put forth the effort if you’re not
Disciplined damn this reminds me of maybe it was last episode where I was talking about discipline you don’t need a passion if you have a discipline right you just gotta get gotta get moving you just gotta get moving and your brain will catch up but if you’re not even moving then your
Brain is sitting idle and your brain is necessarily eating itself your brain is deteriorating and you’re getting sadder and more depressed and I’m not going to take it to the end I’m not going to take that hyperbole to the end but you just got to get moving you need
Discipline in your life you need somebody to whip you in the shape maybe maybe you need a corporate cowboy on your ass reach out to us reach out to us I mean we’ll keep you accountable to some degree obviously we can’t tie twine to your [ __ ] joints and Limbs
And move you around like a marionette I mean we can’t do that we can’t fly out to where you are stick a gun to your head and make you do make you do things make you create no I mean that’s that’s on you that’s on you
When you hit rock bottom it’s no it’s funny it is funny when you hit rock bottom and I’ve said this before when you hit rock bottom when you’re at your Wit’s End when you’re at the wrong end of a gun and the end is literally this close
From meeting you you are this close from meeting your end your brain is on fire with ideas your brain is in hyperdrive creating innovating just just combining synthesizing ways to get the [ __ ] out I’ve seen it well I’ve heard about it and and what you need now is to hone
That state into something stable right because that’s that’s unstable you can’t hold that forever you’re you’re you’re in a state of adrenal shock essentially but you can’t hold that state forever I I don’t believe it’s as sustainable as most make it out to be right but you
Need some degree of that you need a little taste of it something that’s stable something that you can come back to as your source of inspiration as your source of drive and motivation to keep you alive not just to keep you alive but to push you
To find areas in which you can Thrive right if you move then your brain follows if you are doing something professionally sooner or later your passion shows up this person says I have zero Passions I mess up everything I touch in technical work I’ve tried
Also in a bunch of debts so I don’t know if it makes sense to get into even more debt more debt doing what what the [ __ ] do you need to get into more debt for you live with your parents don’t don’t do that to them right you’re gonna dig
Yourself a deeper hole one that they’ll never find you in damn that already came off of as at this point they write I’m basically soulless and do whatever that makes a lot of money what and and do whatever at this point I’m basically soulless and do whatever that
Makes a lot or would do would do whatever it takes would do do whatever that makes you see this sentence is [ __ ] because I don’t know if there’s if they’re saying that they would sell their soul or that they have no soul but they make a lot of money right because this person
Says they’re [ __ ] broke so I’m going to take it as them being soulless and are probably what if they have no soul to sell they’re going to sell their ass at this point I’m basically soulless they write and do whatever that makes a lot of money how
What that makes no [ __ ] sense okay continuing if I’m going to hate life I might as well hate it while not being mocked by my friends and family for being poor okay so then that first sense means that they would sell their soul for money well you don’t have to right because
You don’t have one your soul is remember you I am basically soulless and would do whatever it takes it takes to make a lot of money that’s probably it so what what do you do what do you do to make a lot of money well you’re a journalist maybe you could go interview
The [ __ ] people’s down south and get yourself a couple bricks I know you probably ain’t getting your hands dirty like that you’re probably not that investigative you probably haven’t even researched it you’re probably really not looking into and I mean looking into like a journalist you’re probably really not looking into
Those connects right you’re not at your Wit’s End you’re not being creative at all my friend you’re not thinking extra legal you’re not thinking extracurricular you’re not thinking extraordinarily you are the stereotypical loser and you write that here yourself now I’m Not Gonna Knock our hypothetical clients for not having Street knowledge
Right we’re not all born with it all of us learn it either through hard knocks or second-hand experiences you know it might not be you behind the gun maybe you were in the room and you just learned that [ __ ] second hand right anyways um they say they’ll do whatever it takes
Or they’ll they’ll do whatever to make a lot of money I would recommend using what they know now right if you want to start making money now using what you learn using what you know now put that to work see when I went through undergrad and I have experimented I have dabbled a
Little here there with the extra legal extracurricular that [ __ ] that I mentioned beforehand I dabbled a little bit never got into it too heavy because because I saw alternatives right I was at my Wit’s End and like I said that state that agitated state of adrenal
I I don’t know if it’s if it’s it’s not addiction but it’s like uh what’s the term I’m looking for I’m looking for it’s just like a like a utility like a dependence it is a dependence I guess right maybe I’m softening the word Addiction I’m I’m politically correcting the word
Addiction but it’s a it’s a Reliance on this adrenal response it’s not sustainable right so I figured because I was still keeping gainful Employments that I would move up through there and work hard and actually promoting myself so what did I do well being at my Wit’s End I started picking up books
Books that even if they did not interest me were interesting right I just picked them up and my brain followed I was again I’ve always been a stand-up guy just had a Criminal Mind and the Criminal Mind took more control but I was able I was able to transmute that
Criminal Intent into something productive so I was reading books on how to win friends and influence people and that sort of thing right on how to manage teams that sort of thing and was able to then promote myself literally that’s a story for that could be a story from the
Podcast I got like 10 minutes but I want I don’t want to burn your guys’s brains down I don’t want to melt yours and have it come out the ears I learned I learned through trial how to promote myself because the organization that I was in didn’t have a clear-cut pathway
For me to do so so I had to go knocking on on Heaven’s Door essentially and let them know that I was ready to move up and that I had earned my stripes behind their back they didn’t even give me my stripes I had to get those stripes
Kind of thing see that’s that’s moving like you’re in the street still I’m not waiting in line there’s no such thing as seniority when you’re a hustler when you’re [ __ ] hungry a Cutthroat a corporate Cowboy there’s no such thing like oh the longer you’ve been you’ve
Been with us five years now we’re gonna [ __ ] promote you’ve been with us 10 years as soon as the spot opens up you’re the first one to get promoted no we’re not I’m not about that life right I’m I’m about that death and it’s the death of my past self
So I can move the [ __ ] up and get paid what I’m worth right but what this person sounds like is like what our hypothetical client sounds like is that they are missing Drive they’re missing discipline they’re missing motivation they’re not they’re not being hunted down they’re
Not wanted they don’t have a price on their head they probably go to sleep I don’t know probably jerking off or something or uh what’s the other one uh [ __ ] masturbating I don’t know if the male or female who gives a [ __ ] they’re probably they could probably be going to sleep
Late watching TV got crumbs all over the bed and to me yes that’s a stereotypical loser but if you recognize it and don’t do [ __ ] about it fam you can take that debt to the Grave with you you can you can take your student loans and Report we never knew you
Sort of sort of thing again I’m not knocking I’m not knocking the degree right if if if these other [ __ ] degrees these other politically correct social justice degrees if if they were at all marketable [ __ ] would be marketing them right but even then they’re not profitable
Long term which is why you see them being rotated in and out just passed around like a [ __ ] every other month nobody wants to hold on to this social dis ease of [ __ ] social justice [ __ ] political correct [ __ ] critical race that nobody they don’t want to hold on to it
For too long because it rots motivation it rots creativity it’s actually counterproductive it’s not productive at all it’s profitable in the short term right very profitable because there is a market for it but that market is done within the month why do you think they’re rotating these [ __ ] out you got February
You got March you got June you got parades you got all this other [ __ ] they just wrote they just rotated them in and out every month as if they were inventory that’s it you want to knock capitalism knock yourself down first because capitalism is here to stay capitalism takes your
Weakness and magnifies it for you to see capitalism takes your money and magnifies it for you to see you have a good idea capitalize it tell me if it doesn’t make you more money go ahead good ideas you want to make great ideas righteous ideas capitalize those and tell me they
Don’t make you more money in the long term right in the long term there is a difference between let’s say a good idea and a righteous idea where I guess a bright idea and a righteous idea you know an idea that first causes a spark and says you know what there’s a
Bunch of [ __ ] soft jawed drooling idiots who will buy shirts that are multi-colored or all one color and have specific symbols like fists pointing up in the air and have weird symbols on them there’s a market for that but that market is exhausted within one to one
And a half months so we project this percentage of profits coming off of those costs of goods sold that we could turn over into a nice ratio [Laughter] right these folks exist and they sit at tables that you’re not included in that you’re not even welcome to
You might be able to get in if you’re a journalist who was worth their weight and salt who was actually worth uh uh who was actually worth the time to talk to but I mean I I guess to that extent you’ve got to be a journeyman of sorts you have to be self-taught
Self-educated why do you think a lot of self-taught self-educated people are the ones that get knocked down are the ones that these institutions don’t like coming up with like the one that comes that always comes to mind is this hundred mile an hour 100 mile per gallon carburetor how come you
Can’t come up with that how come you can’t come up with the water powered car or you get clipped you get your cranberry juice poisoned that’s a real one go look it up poison cranberry juice water powered car Google that [ __ ] see who comes up see who comes up missing um
Let’s uh let’s read damn we’re at the end of 30 minutes already this was fun you see this is as cathartic as cathartic as it is for me I hope it helps you right there’s questions questions abound even if it comes off as a stream of Consciousness because
It’s not that I’m not a fan of awkward silences but I feel like they need to be impregnated with some kind of message and that typically only occurs in something that is live and one-on-one so if you need a session of your own again
I tell you to reach out I tell you to reach out because this is fun for me but it’s also what I do for a living all right beyond beyond what I do legally all that this this is a passion this is a passion because this is what I’ve been
Trained in and this is what I’ve done since I was young right which is a form of journalism right so I was taught to study people to study groups of people to audit uh organizations and systems how they operate any mechanisms protocols procedures that sort of thing and uh
Make notes make notes about gaps and vulnerabilities and opportunity [ __ ] I am I’m I’m striving to be the consummate professional but I’m a corporate Cowboy first right I’ll read you a quick comment we’re about a 30 minute Mark but I will play you guys out as this I’ll play you guys
Out with a comment here and it says I think you’re depressed the first color I think you’re depressed and I get why you feel in such a hole I have an English degree yo English I think is worse than journalism at least with journalism I would think they give you
Some tools right like even if it’s a even if it’s them teaching you how to lie to get into like the headquarters of YouTube right and and be like hey I’m I’m from corporate I’m here to audit your books or some [ __ ] where’s where’s the safe where’s the vault
Even if they just taught you how to like give a narrative to build a narrative type [ __ ] right I think that’s better than English in English what do you got English composition and creative writing I mean maybe you can create a narrative right I’m not knocking English either
You’ve just got to be able to Market that [ __ ] you’ve got to be able to sell it to somebody else for them to hire you and your services otherwise you’re sitting with a worthless degree up your ass who the [ __ ] wants that it says I haven’t I have an English
Degree let me finish this I have an English degree and make over six figures now doing in-house marketing ooh clutch you see it can be done it could be done doing in-house marketing I take it what they’re copywriting they’re creating uh marketing campaigns and all of that I think has been informed
To what degree by their English degree right it’s been informed to some extent by what they’ve learned and how they’ve been trained through school in in in the practice of English and using English to attract people where as theirs is written mine might be spoken Because unless you’re reading a
Transcript of what I’m saying here what I’m saying is what goes that sounded a little weird what I say is what goes I don’t know that that sounds weird maybe that sounds too self-righteous uh continuing your journalism degree is useful for agency or in-house marketing and PR that’s public relations public
Relations is basically for-profit journalism you’re just getting the client story out to journalists you see this person this person knows how to Market a journalism degree right now they didn’t ask they didn’t ask because they’ve got no particular passions so even though I was necessarily discounting that journalism
Degree I was still telling them to Market what it is they know which necessarily means break down what you’ve learned to its most simple rudiments to the mechanisms that you use in journalism to be a good journalist and go out and Market that it’s what you do
When you build a resume right you could have been a dishwasher at an Applebee’s and even then you’re gonna Market your experience washing dishes not necessarily as only washing dishes but what were you doing you were tracking time of the dishes if you really wanted to break it down to its rudiments tracking
The time of the dishes that are submerged under water rinsing them uh scrubbing any debris off of them any food left over making sure they’re properly rinsed so no soap is left on because the soap is while it’s non-toxic it’s not uh uh consumable it it’s not something that
You want to be eating on a regular basis right and then you are rinsing them dunking them into uh the hot sanitizer or is it warm sand I think it’s warm sanitizer some spots to use cold sanitized but it’s been a minute since I’ve managed a restaurant but I mean I’m
In and out so I know that there are different varieties of the the sanitizer station and then letting them air dry so like you’re tracking all of this and even if that’s the only thing you’ve done for what a year or five years you could still Market that what you do
Maintaining the organization and and if you spin it correctly like a journalist would you could spin it as you being the backbone to what makes the operation run right but then you know that’s much more higher level thinking more higher level Consulting if you’re going to be interviewing like that and letting them
Know how indispensable you were as a dishwasher just like a journalist you could take what you learn about creating narratives and distributing them and go into marketing going to public relations go into governmental relation government Affairs even right because that’s PR now at the government agency level so you
Could you could see your way into what becoming not not so much speaker of the house but uh what’s it what’s that term called like a White House correspondent is that the person that we we’ve been seeing instead of the president we’re just yammers on about and goes in
Circles really just yammers on about oh we’ll Circle back to that we’ll Circle back to that too that sort of [ __ ] you could see yourself into one of those right if you’re competent enough if you were cut throat enough but you know what that takes though right you know what that takes
It takes passion Something you don’t have right and the reason I said it like that is because I wanted to hit you in the [ __ ] stomach you don’t have it you know what you need to start with is discipline the end
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