It’s one of those things I realized that that that is actually how you you get people to do well um you set standards human standards and high standards of behavior and expectations and and respect and all those kind of things and I know it sounds cliche but I’ve seen it
Work over and over and over again but I think the most important thing is to teach them to teach themselves that’s where I’d see it and not just in coaching but in teaching as well that’s a really powerful way of um coming to grips with your your history
Your algebra your rowing your rugby or whatever um that every season okay you know if you’ve got a group and it’s a project over four years or if it’s a one-year thing or it’s a six-month thing um the idea would be to progressively let go of
The team and let them become the coaches um in other in other words sort of make yourself redundant by the end of the year so you’re not needed anymore for that final race or that final exam and yeah sometimes that works and sometimes doesn’t some people will you
You’ve always got to give them a leg up or give them a helping hand but I think that’s that’s a really powerful way um so in a rowing AG you’ve got nine people and I like to see at the end of the year you’ve got nine coaches plus me so 10
Coaches rather than coach athletes um so yeah it’s it’s it’s basically to teach them to to learn and educate themselves about the sport uh I think that’s really important rather than me just impart information out one way traffic the whole time um I start off
With that but then you try to tease it out of them and you get them to read and look at YouTube videos uh by the end of the year they they should hopefully know everything you know and and you’re redundant and job done yeah I I I think the expectation thing I
Keep it really really simple and in and it’s never in terms of outcomes I’d never say we want to win this or we want to we want to do that um that’ll happen hopefully the expectations we we set for or I set you know with with with other
Coaches is one more of behavior and expectation and um manners you know please and thank you turn up on time um work as hard as you can be honest uh be honest with with with your coach be honest with your teammates but be honest with yourself um don’t be afraid to come
And talk to the coach we’re this is only a game and it’s only we’re doing we’re all doing it for fun even the coaches are doing it even when they get angry they’re still doing it for fun um so yeah and that takes time of course that
That just that’s just words initially so I’m not a great one for sort of setting out the mission statement because any any plan you make any path you might lay is always is always Divergent anyway so um so I try to keep it really simple um those expectations and goals themselves
Will hopefully come from the athlete themselves as they know where they stand and and and if you know particularly for beginners if if this is their sport um you know personally for a year or two when I did it I just wanted to have fun and then I wanted to do better and
Better and eventually wanted to go to the Olympics so yeah I I don’t I don’t try to impose my uh goals or ideals on the kids that that comes sort of organically that that should grow y yeah if you want to get the best out
Of people help them get the best out of themselves it’s a a subtle difference there um you’ve got to know you’ve got another person in front of you not not just what they can lift in the gym or what they can pull in an Ur what they can run for 5K it’s actually
Um you know family background how many brothers and sisters you have what what do you do for the holidays it’s just just it’s just the simple things it actually makes them feel like a person rather than just an athlete a number um a member of a team that takes time I
Think but right from the beginning I try to get to know the person and um and it’s it’s a very helpful thing because if you get to know them and you can ask them hey you know how did how did how did the round of golf go with your uncle last week you
Didn’t even tell you that you know um they’ll start to trust you a bit more and and and sort of um the relationship builds and once the relationship builds the honesty starts to build that’s something it’s not it’s not an artificial construct you can put in at
The start but um takes time though and for me that that you can’t I can’t personally I can’t I see some coaches and they going and make an immediate difference to these kind of things magic I can’t do that I’ve got to spend time getting to know these people um whether
They’re young or whether they’re old um and I think I’m reasonably okay there I like I see I like people I like to get to know people and what makes them take I don’t couldn’t care less if they pull an or particularly well or not um that’s
Just the medium we use to help them grow up yeah inbuilt for a lot of us um fear of failure um fear of letting yourself down letting your teamates down letting your family down um and and that’s that’s kind of all around us isn’t it you know you got to
Win win win um be the best you can win the goal metal it’s this it’s this culture around us that that uh winning is important where it’s not it’s it’s nice don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with winning at all it’s it’s great and and instinctively kids young kids like
Competition um you know when you when kids play games initially it’s just for fun but very quickly they’ll set some rules and then they’ll do a score and they’ll count the score and and to the best intensive you know of parents they’ll say oh you just had fun but the
Kids will say no no we lost 10- n we didn’t have fun even four-year-olds will do that and that’s okay um and and and and but that’s that’s your job as a coach and and and as a parent to say hey so what big deal no no worries and even
If you lose you know your national championships your your your world championships your Olympic Games really your parents are still going to love you your girlfriend’s not going to leave you because you lost the Olympic Games well you shouldn’t you shouldn’t be the girlfriend in the first place but um and
I do that with the boys here sometimes they get very nervous and I’ll say you know if you do win boys they’re going to put a big oil painting on the wall for you and they’ll give you a week of school off and the kids start to believe
This and and then then they start of pick up that I’m actually just pulling their leg that really it doesn’t matter they might get a up on the stage um for a quick Applause from from their mates but after that they’re just Joe so back
In algebra class again um I know I I I try to lead by example um that in fact the the I I’ll I’ll share some stories with them of of times I lost and I lost way more than ever won and um I couldn’t the wins and the losses are forgotten
It’s just it’s just the memories and the friends and the things you you uh you appreciate going off to twis for a week with your mates that’s way better than winning a m cup and that’s what these kids remember it’s gone off and fishing for a week or going swimming in the lake
And the odd bit of rowing um getting away from the folks of course as well is a good one but uh it’s um yeah most kids most kids come in with the IDE that winning is important and hopefully when they leave the program they realize it’s not the comment so we invite
Them uh to come down and see what we’re doing anytime now they don’t we there there’s a line we don’t allow them they’re not allow they’re nothing to do with selection or training we’re the experts there and they they understand that and that line is never blurred um
Despite what some of them might want to think about about their little Johnny being you know the next heish Bond but we we make that really clear at the start of the Season hey you’re you’re putting your trust in us as coaches um but we need your help as well and by all
Means bring up anything with us so I was fined with parents who might be a little bit sort of iffy if you like give them a job you know get your enemies closer make them butter bread and they’ll see they’ll see that interaction with the kids and the coaches I tell you every
Time they’re BL away with it and and and your your your worst critics become your sort of staunches allies very very quickly but it’s also it’s also the right way to do it um it’s their family you know that their family is more important and and you don’t separate
Families you try to encourage them to to be part of it so yeah I think keeping people close and staying honest with them is works you can you can teach Old Dogs new tricks you can teach you can teach adults some you know what what makes things what what makes their kids
Take it’s a hard one for adults it’s a hard thing for parents you know espe to teen teen years to go different ways but um if you can involve them in their passion um that’s really powerful and it it brings it’s lovely to see sometimes uh you know teenagers hugging their
Parents and saying thank you just simple things like that um and that that comes through being gracious and grateful yeah we’re all a product of our environment and I I see that as a teacher all the time I’ll have some kids in class and you kind of you know wondering about these kids
And then their parents come in you go oh yeah you know why and as a dad and I’m I’m quite conscious of that that you know what they’ll turn out like is reflected in what I um the type of person I am I’ve seen that here as a school teacher with
Um parents almost living their dreams and lives through their kids and putting undue pressure on them and and that’s a difficult conversation to have sometimes with parents and kids um because that’s not What sport’s about that’s only games isn’t it really yeah I think so anyway people
Don’t believe me but I believe it’s just games it’s it’s good fun um that’s why we started playing games as kids it wasn’t for medals it was just for fun after a while we organize some rules and after a while maybe somebody got a medal but initially let’s go and play let’s go
And play outside that’s what kids do it’s instinctive in kids we lose it as we get older the adults unfortunately um you know if you could run Sports if sport could be run by kids for kids that would be a lot better nothing to get
Done but who cares it’ be good fun to watch it wouldn’t it um yeah it’s it’s it’s unfortunately it’s it’s we’re the problem yeah we are definitely the problem you see it enough yeah you see that enough um and that’s sad that that really is sad and there’s not you know
As I say you’re to involve parents but you can’t interfere in a family Dynamic and if if that’s been going on it’s been going on long before your kid ever joined a Rowing Club or came to Secondary School even Primary School um your parents are your biggest influence
Up to the age of five and yeah we we see some we see some pretty sad sort of Rel not not too many but it’s always the one or two stick with you and and you see those those kids are under pressure from home or you know on the convers side
They’re under no pressure the parent parents will never turn up and they don’t seem to show any interest and um all you can do is your best all you can do is you know put your arm around the lad and say hey well done mate you’re
Doing well you find your own way in the world and um no we do try we do try to contact those parents and say hey even if it’s just a newsletter to say Hey you know little Johnny did really well this week and uh but it is that’s that’s
That’s that’s that’s quite difficult to see especially with kids yeah um it’s it’s it’s one of the of things you have to deal with I would hope that due to our constant reinforcing of our initial message that we would have given them right the start of year nine or or the
Start of every year in fact they would understand the way and it’s always down to something like selection look at my little Johnny’s turning up and he’s training six to seven times a week but he’s not getting into the top boat um complete honesty with them them I I
Always find that there’s no point trying to pull the wool or make up Airy Fairy stuff just I’ve said look uh if if your goal or his goal is to make a particular team but there’s 13 guys going for eight seats and he’s not in it he’s just not
Good enough he doesn’t move the boat fast enough um and they’ll come back with that but he’s turned up to training and he’s pulled this on the eargo and he’s but um I I’ll always refer them back to the initial I’ve even pulled out the sheet
And said selection is done on um a number of topics mainly how you move bols and how you fit in with teammates and what your attitude is like and Ergo scores and weights are way down the bottom um and sometimes you get tears from parents because they realize that
Actually the coach is right and they’re wrong and it’s difficult and I’ve I’ve been there um but again I I I try to send that message to them that hey it’s just a game is he enjoying himself well he is so let’s just leave him alone and um I would say most
Parents do let go a little bit when when you give them that shat because then because I can I can relate to that because I’m a parent as well and I’ll share some of my stories that I don’t like my kids not making the team um and
We we sit and we have a nod together yeah bloody coaches yeah um but no parents are great but we’re all it’s not even I won’t use the word guilty um because we shouldn’t be guilty for loving our kids and you love them more than anything and you
Want to see them do the best uh and it’s it’s hard a little bundle of joy when you had and said its first word at the age of six months and you thought it was way ahead of the education curve when it came back with this oil painting which
Was completely crap which you thought he was the next van go you know um and we all think our kids are great but in fact most of our kids are just average I say sorry to my two daughters who are brilliant but anyway um yeah parent relationship’s the
Hardest thing isn’t it um trying to trying to you know paddle your way through through relationships it’s a hard one especially when it’s not your relationship when it’s another family um and you know I can say look I could be wrong that’s that’s always a good one to
Say to I could be wrong but um I have a bit of experience doing this and um usually I’m not but um yeah I I don’t like that in the door from the parents I’ll be honest yeah yeah can I speak with you oh God here we go we’ve all been
There subconsciously they’ll start to model what their coach does and that’s that’s on us that’s our responsibility to ensure that doesn’t happen and we have to be really really careful and we get passionate about it as well and we lose our temper and we want we want to win as coaches as well
We don’t just do it for the you know the warm the worm fuzzies uh it is nice toing there’s nothing wrong with that I want to apologize for that um but not at any cost and the cost unfortunately a lot of the time is um the kids and their
Relationship with Sport and what it means to them um and and unfortunately a lot of a lot of coaches a lot of school teachers a lot of school boards and principles are guilty of that and I’ve seen a lot of that in my time in New Zealand um we’ve
We’ve all seen it with certain sports that um it’s not about the kids anymore it’s about The Prestige of the school or it’s about the ego of the coach and um we should be the anonymous people it should nothing to do with us at all we shouldn’t people shouldn’t know who the
Coaches are yeah we should be we should be invisible um because we don’t need that certainly don’t think there should be anything enforced at the age of 15 or 16 I think as kids get a little bit older that they almost in a way demand it themselves they want to um they want
To get better at what they do and they become quite passionate and and in fact a lot of the times you’ve got to hold these kids back um there’s nothing wrong with excellence and I I I’m not going to be an apologist for anything else I think teaching kids to be excellent at
Everything they do is a is a great life lesson or trying to be excellent you don’t have to be excellent most of us never get to Excellence um if we get to Merit we’re doing we’re doing well um but I certainly I have an old saying
That if you know if at first you don’t succeed offer a scholarship and unfortunately I see that that again that’s that is not the the kid or the teenagers um first wish it’s it’s it’s the school it’s the parents it’s it’s the the board as I said before
Um and I think that’s that is I won’t say Rife in in this country um but all it takes is a couple of schools to start that and then schools are put under pressure by benefactors by old boys by old girls by by the board um
To go out and if you like um entice kids to come in and wear the jersey and and pretend that they’re actually from from that school um and really I I’d go the other way in fact and and I see a lot of school notice boards around the city and
Around the country and it’s say and it’s you know quite rightly it’s got you know under 16 National Hockey Champions or it’s basketball uh Canary Champions etc etc um and and you know that a number of those kids didn’t even start in that school they were brought in because not
Because they were good kids or whatever because they can throw a ball at they can kick a rugby ball or swing a badminton record um I would love to see up you know I would send my kids to a school that had a sign outside that said
Um we don’t offer scholarships we don’t care about winning but we’ll give your kid the best education me we try to make them excellent um but we don’t see that um and I I understand in in certain schools there sort of you need to attract the customers particularly the independent
Skills you need it’s it’s a business you’ve got to attract people in but using kids as as currency um I I do not subscribe to that whatsoever and in fact I never have and I’m lucky enough I work with with a bunch of coaches in the boat
Club who don’t um so scholar ship year 14s um I me and you know sport School Sports Council will always put rules up to try to um dampen that down but that’s all they can do because the there are people out there who will find a way
Around these rules and I really don’t think they should have anything to do with school sport they go off and do professional stuff if they want and go to franchises as they call them and um but not Secondary School sport not not at all um I had that experience
Myself as as an 18-year-old I was I was the only one in my club who was under 18 Club down the road had a whole lot of international Juniors they asked me to come down and didn’t even occur to me to do that let my own club down I wouldn’t
Do that um I stuck with them got into a single and and and I’m glad I did okay I didn’t win a National Junior Championship but who cares um yeah who do we do it for is really what it comes down to and anyone involved in in school sport or kids
Sport needs to ask himself that question who we actually doing it for and if you don’t come up with the answer the kids first and foremost you need to look in the mirror in my opinion yeah I I see I see the season
Blur as you call it as as a as a growing problem something that maybe wasn’t here when I came here first I wasn’t particularly aware of it um coming from Ireland where due to the school terms in the seasons you had to play one sport report for 9 months and then you had
Your summer and I came over here and and thought how are you supposed to run a program on 6 months because you’ve only got them six months and then they go off and do something else and within one year I was convinced that is this is
Absolutely the way to do it you can run a very good s successful win winning program um in six months and and it’s actually hugely beneficial for these kids to to do multisport I’ve never seen a huge advantage of preseason training U and there’s a lot of that uh coming in
Earlier and early you know we’ve got to get into the gym we’ve got to do this we’ve got to do that I think that’s a fear on the part of coaches that they’re getting left behind um and they’re not they’re actually not in fact what they should be doing as
Coaches is going to the other sport that the kids of and and offering to help there and um and and you’ll keep an eye on your athlete but but maybe maybe pass on some of the information information you have about your athlete to the basketball coach or the rowing coach and
And actually work as a as as a team um to ensure the best outcome for the kid and the two sports and it’s actually hugely beneficial for these kids to to do multisport um it gives them more athleticism anyway as a coach gives them new skills uh rather than a
One-dimensional stale sport that they do all the time and you don’t need to do it all the time at that age kids are very very adaptable uh and I generally find the kids who who do you know the two sports uh and and and maybe a third as
Well in their in their spare time tend to me the really good athletes um but yeah I’ve had this argument with with numerous people so on you got to you got to professionalize you got to um you’ve got to specialize I no you don’t I used
To think you did but I was wrong um I was wrong completely and utterly wrong I’m completely convinced now that um the more the better for every reason socially educationally but sporting wise as well you get better athletes who can do lots of things uh and long term they become better athletes as
Well if you can play a lot of sport if you can try everything and and a lot of schools say come on in here you there’s all these opportunities but yet they’re kind of pige and hold into the the sport that they came in being good at maybe
They were a canary cricketer at the age of 12 they’re going to go to the Cricket Club um I do believe that every kid should be given an opportunity to try as many things as they can even if it is only for six or eight weeks um that way
You’ll actually and if you’re interested in winning as a school that way you’ll actually get the winners you’ll get the kids who are suitors to rowing or badminton or snooker or whatever is into those Sports and secondly more importantly they’ll actually love it uh so you win-win you’ll actually win and
Then you win with the kids as well uh so you know junior age competitions I’m not particularly gone in that whatsoever he can do it but make it very clear that we couldn’t care less if you win or lose we know you’re we know you’re rubbish at
Hockey but you’re giv it a go and you don’t like it great move on next week you’ve got rowing you might like that um and I do guarant you know I think 90% of kids will find something that they they’ll love and um and hopefully it’s their passion and then hopefully again
It’ll overcome that big issue we all have is school school kids leaving sport when they turn 18 uh if you love something an awful lot you’re not going to quit at 18 just because you’re going to UNI or going out to work you you’ll find a club you’ll
Find uh somewhere to join and do that um but if you do it half-heartedly because you never found your right sport of course you’re going to quit and and that’s that’s that’s obviously the big question around the world how do we stop kids leaving Sports so early I think
That could be the answer put them into something give them the opportunity to find something that they’re just going to grow as people and as athletes for the rest of their lives what better way than to be part of a team and um go through the ups and downs of
Sport which honestly can teach you a lot about the ups and downs of life as well um and of course any doctor will tell you that that physical well-being is is one of the first things that anybody suffering from mental illness should be you know if they can uh to engage in uh
For for all the physiological reasons so I I think it’s a win-win and you know every one of us will go out for a walk if we if that’s the limit of our athletic ability or we go for a run or we go to the gym
And I I’ve yet to meet somebody who comes back saying I feel worse they always feel better and if you can do that every day especially in the company of friends um and like-minded people that’s a huge support for you I think um it’s helped me
It’s help I’ve had I’ve had some rough times and um the the the the sport itself and the people I know through that have helped me through a lot of stuff over the years yeah it’s it’s it’s a feeling it’s that feeling um and it’s very hard to put
Words on that I see I see the outcomes of what I do and and those outcomes are a lot of the time someone has grown as a person and become a much more confident well-rounded happy person um with an ability to laugh at themselves and laugh at the fact they
Fail and and I do you know I do Embrace failure a lot and I see that in in school kids particularly in class um I I really do think is there’s a personal side I I like I like I like the challenge of it uh I like taking sort of
Raw material if you like clay and and try to mold it into some sort of sculpture okay um but that that that clay and that sculpture is human being and going going from this sort of amorphous kid who doesn’t quite know who they are where they are what they’re doing to someone who
Has grasped something whether it’s you know statistics or it’s calculus or whether it’s rowing and and that has shaped them and it’s given them some sort of core or some you know some sort of foundation to build on um and I see myself as helping helping to do that
And to help someone shape their life not to win races but to shape their life uh I I think I’m hugely privileged to be allowed to do that and um I think that’s where it comes what it comes down to it’s it’s the it’s dealing with people yeah and
Helping people become better people that’s why I do it well if they can remember me at all I think that’s a win who was that bald IR guy uh if if they actually you know if they think that I had had some part to little part to play and and who they
Became in a positive way hell that’s that’s wonderful isn’t it um I wouldn’t like to hear to get embarrassed with that kind of stuff but um I I mean I do I you know I have had that discussion with a number of people uh that I’ve worked with over the
Years they’ve grown up and they’ve had kids of their own and they’ll come back to me and and they’ll just say hey thanks very much for um for helping me through that that stage and you know one of the great ones is I still remember
What you said about x y and Zed and I still use that today and I I you know I get quite that’s that that puts the hairs up in the back of your neck when much more so than medals that’s that’s special um I’m just I’m just GL I was in the right
Place at the right time with the right people um I try to keep doing it you as best I can it brings people together rather than separates them and uh we have so much in common on this planet and it’s it’s all those people that I still in
Touch with uh I I had an email the other day from an american guy I raced in 1993 and uh asking me how I was I had uh actually a letter a written letter from a Dutch guy erased in 2001 this year um just reminiscing and asking how things
Were going and knowing that those people have way more in common with me than 99% of my own countrymen that I’ve got these Kindred Spirits all over the planet uh see you’re part of a A brotherhood or a Sisterhood um of like-minded people and that’s that’s been really cool to be
Involved with and and it’s the same thing when you go coaching now um you can sit down and talk to any athlete from any country in the world or any coach and immediately you’ve got something in common and and you don’t even have to explain it because you know
And they know you’ve gone through it you’ve gone through the winter mornings you’ve gone through the blisters um you’ve gone through the parents asking you why Johnny’s not in the crew um and that’s a real special group of people to be involve it so that’s yeah that’s what
I would tell it’s it’s the the fraternity or the sorority or whatever you want call it yeah the family
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