[laughter, applause] ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY FOCUS UP. LOOK. THIS PARTY TONIGHT COULD BE A MODEL FOR THE WAY THAT THE WORLD SHOULD WORK. AND I JUST WANT TO SAY… I’M TOTALLY STOKED TO THE MAX ABOUT IT. ALL RIGHT? YOU GUYS FEELING GOOD?
OH, DENNIS, WHAT, ARE YOU SHOOTING VIDEO? – YEAH, MAN. – ALL RIGHT, WELL, BE CAREFUL WITH THAT. I MIGHT RUN FOR OFFICE SOMEDAY. [laughter] NOW, TRUST ME, I THINK THAT THIS PARTY CAN BE THE MOST INSPIRATIONAL PARTY THIS CAMPUS HAS EVER SEEN.
IS THAT COMING TO ME? LET ME JUST GRAB THAT. THAT’S SOME RIGHTEOUS BUD. SOME RIGHTEOUS BUD WE GOT GOING ON THERE. WE NEED SOME BODACIOUS JOCK BABES COMING IN. WE NEED SOME HOT-ASS PUNK ROCK BABES. I-I-I DON’T CARE WHERE THEY COME FROM.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING– IT’S IMPERATIVE THAT WE HAVE A DIVERSITY IN THE, UH… PUSSY DEPARTMENT. INTERCEPTED. DON’T SLEEP ON BARRY O. DON’T EVER SLEEP ON BARRY O. WHOO! [party noise, chatter] – APARTHEID IS TOTALLY GNARLY. IT’S A GNARLY INSTITUTION. WHERE IS THE–DENNIS, DEN–
THERE WE–COME HERE. GET THIS, GET THIS. OKAY, WE–WE GOTTA HAVE A SYSTEM IN PLACE TO GET EVERYBODY WEED. ALL RIGHT? SO JUST WATCH– THIS IS HOW YOU’RE GONNA DO IT. ALL RIGHT, THIS–THIS IS– I’M REALLY [bleep] FROSTY RIGHT NOW, BY THE WAY.
THIS IS YOUR CONSTITUTION, ALL RIGHT? IT’S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER. WE GOTTA KEEP ITS INTEGRITY, ‘CAUSE IT’S GONNA HOLD EVERYTHING TOGETHER. THIS RIGHT HERE… THIS IS US. THIS IS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WE’RE SPECIAL. WE’RE MAGIC. WHOA, YAY, WE ALL LIVE IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE DON’T GET TOO FAR APART. ME AND YOU, WE– WE GOTTA BE CLOSE. THAT’S–THAT’S THE MAGIC OF AMERICA IS LOVE. OTHERWISE, YOU’RE GONNA GET AIR BUBBLES IN THERE. IT’S GONNA START CANOEING AND EVERYTHING.
WE DON’T WANT THAT, ALL RIGHT? YOU GET THAT? ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I’M WAY AHEAD OF YOU, BRO. I’M ALREADY DONE. BOOM, FIREWORKS. FOURTH OF JULY. THAT’S FOR YOU. WE WANT LIKE A TON OF THESE. OH, MY GOD, I’M SO [bleep] BLAZED. I’M SO [bleep] HIGH.
OH, [bleep]. WHAT WAS I SAYING?
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