What up whiskey Ginger fans welcome back to the show if it’s your first time joining the show welcome to the show we got a good one for you today like my man Steve Harvey done say it’s Trevor Wallace Trev Wallace is on the podcast he’s got a special out right now go
Check it out it’s pterodactyl if you know how to spell it you get extra points very very funny dude go watch Trevor Wallace’s brand new special out and available right now on mson uh also I’m on the road baby uh Me and Bobby Lee are finishing up the bad Friends tour uh
This weekend we’re in Minneapolis Minnesota and in Madison Wisconsin those are the last two dates of this year then we’re done until at the end of January 2024 we go down to Atlantic City New jerse then we do tomacula and Reno and Tucson Sacramento we’re all over the
Place Long Beach Come See About Me and Bobby Lee go to bad friends pod.com badf friends pod.com for those tickets enough rambling from me let’s go to the episode in here here we pour whisk whisk whis whisk whis you were that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like
Vampir the ginger Jean is a cursed gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers ladies and gentlemen welcome back to Whiskey Ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people in Earth I
Said that for all my guest want I me once again today is it’s Trevor Wallace hey that’s me thanks for having me dude welcome back to NPR with Trevor Wallace uh one of the best looking funniest dudes I know I gave you a little bit of
Beef when we first met because I was like who’s this [ __ ] yeah yeah goodlooking [ __ ] cool kid [ __ ] this guy you still intimidate me which is so cool that I and I want that dude and I want how old are you now 30 god dude so
Like you could kick me in a rib and I might lose that rib forever you’re 30 30 yeah and you look [ __ ] good for 30 I’m jealous dude but you just showed me your body you look great for can I I say it out loud yeah no you can bleep it
People know 40 40 I’m 40 please half of the fans at home that watch the show are like that guy’s only 40 he look 50 years old I hate when people online say about me and Bobby they go same age right and I’m like no dude that guy’s 52 oh damn
And people are like you’re you look that old I’m like no it just hurts because he dresses like a child so no one will know the difference right I mean I like to dress younger than my age for sure this is immature for a 40-year-old man back
Home in Chicago we look like we should flip outfits I have that t-shirt in green do you yeah it’s really great stuff yeah Bobby always looks like he has like a tech deck on him like his like outfits is very like like he just looks like he would have a fidget toy in
His pants but I love him well we bought him fidget Spinners right yeah we bought him a bunch to get through some of the episodes because he would start he’d want to have more dip and then he was trying to control vaping we were trying to occupy him with stuff that would get
Him away from from distracting himself we distracted him so he wouldn’t distract himself that’s crazy from nicotine to just a fidget spinner well dude we got him off cigarettes which was huge oh that is big that was big but now he’s he’s dipping and I like to pop a couple
Of you like a couple Zin zinnes up see he won’t do that he likes real hos he like real his brother does it I thought his brother was throwing in like long cut and I was like who hurt you yeah they’re both they’re both into the OG
Ruin your gums now this being said zines are zins aren’t great either they’re probably hurting us but it’s clean it’s a clean it’s a it’s a quick one two but the say that the long cut it’s like just more like clean cleanup I think spit it
Out it’s gone yeah it’s done but I don’t know giving us is it giving us jaw yeah it is sometimes spots my tongue feel real tender oh no and I don’t do it a lot but it’s like you know sometimes you’re just like it’s just a nice it’s
Like my night cap that’s my Mero you know is a little Zin yeah little zinis dude little late night zeners there’s kids on the internet now I don’t know if you’ve seen this but there’s guys because you know there’s three and six milligrams for Zen there’s other
Companies that have way more there like 20 milligrams dude there’s guys on the inter there’s young kids that are doing as many mgs as they can put in their mouth there’s one dude this young college kid’s put hundreds in his mouth really yeah it’s absurd it’s like I
Don’t know what the I don’t know what the fascination is I used to my neighbor Growing Up played on the baseball team and he got me into dipping in like high school cuz he was the cool guy so he did it I wanted to do it and I put in like
He’s like you got to do a double decker or upper decker upper Deckers yeah were your were your top of your lip I did both I threw up immediately yeah no in college I actually started dipping that’s where I kind of started all that stuff because I used to smoke and then I
Was a um I was a valet and you couldn’t smoke the valet stand they they were pretty adant about it life hack yeah and they were like you got to you can’t do that and you can’t and there were no smoke breaks cuz I ran the my little
Station I was just the only guy at bua De beo shout out dude that was the place for our homecoming great spot dude oh my God the chicken alfredo you’d share it and the bill was like $32 you’re like I got this honey let me take care of this
Yeah yeah this is my dad’s credit card literally he is rich rich but that was like fine dining in high school it was it was it was very highend I used to and when I valeted there I couldn’t break cuz I was on cat yeah so I used to put
In a little sneak a couple of sneakers but that was back before I mean I think they had pouches but they were still n they weren’t nicotine pouches they were tobacco pouches right yes so they were pouches they were just dip but pouch form but I would do those because I
Didn’t want raw dip like getting in my teeth yeah it’s grimy you can see I just didn’t want it for the customers I didn’t care personally but I didn’t want someone to be like I think I saw him a customer buad Bea might have all their
Teeth that’s you know now that you say that it was a lot of Buick really a lot of Buick yeah that kind of class where we we’re skating through do I have money or am I 300 type level those my favorite am I picking up my my step kids that’s kind
Of what it is bua deo is is a a broken Family Restaurant I wonder when did like Nissan timos become like oh you might get shot car yeah that is yeah that when did they make that chance like Nissan are so like every other Nissan is just
Such a great family car and then you see Nissan ala late night and you’re like we should probably not be we should get out of here dude what else is a shady car at night that makes you feel feel uncomfortable I tell you I tell you you
See a Volkswagen Jetta coming you got to get that is that is a 23-year-old blonde college girl who’s lost don’t help her help her lot of zoft and she’s going through something and she’s speeding she don’t see those speed bumps no she got mental speed bumps yeah you know how you
Know how people you know how people uh when you hear a car come out of a a ramp too fast you hear Jetta I don’t think there’s one Jetta that’s rolling on the road right now that doesn’t have a torn up undercarriage from young girls you see those videos online somebody will post
Up in one of those Infamous driveways and they just watch every person hit their bumper god that’s like my level of like that’s like the DVD sign bouncing off the screen for me I could watch that all day scratch God I’ve done that I’ve done that DVD sign before too I’ve done
That yeah the Jetta I think the jeda comes with Uggs like every time you see that door open it’s just a giant Ugg slams out yeah the Jetta would scare me at night Jettas are tough I don’t like Jettas I never like Jetta the cars the
Cars that bother me the most are um I loathe loathe uh mini copers I think it’s the dumbest vehicle ever made my neighbor has a Mini Cooper and it has the loudest engine ever but it’s like the sportman or something yeah they they tune them they but I’m like why is a
Mini Cooper loud yeah shut like it’s loud and I open my window and see that yeah a little tiny car it’s like a 53 guy grunting at the gym get it together I just feel like I looked out the window and saw that and I was like dude come
Not even on muscle call Mini Cooper is not for me I don’t I just never they bothered me so much and my wife wanted to get or did get one for a short period of time and she was like what do you not like about it I was like if you get hit
You will die that’s what I feel about smart cars there’s nothing to that why even put an airbag in a smart car what is just die it’s going to be like the packing uh bags they get from Amazon yeah the ones that you touch and they
Fold and they pop yeah smart cars that feel their way yeah I just there’s there’s certain cars on the road that give me the uh what what did the kids say they give me the Pontiac Aztec you ever seen one of those bad boys no let me see what that oh is
That the thing he WR drove in Breaking Bad I don’t no this car has always pissed me off it looked like the shoe that Kobe came out by the way this is the car from breaking bad but Pontiac made the same car as the this is what
What was the car in Breaking Bad this wasn’t Pontiac it it’s the exact same you know how multiple car companies own the rights to the same kind of framework or they’re or they’re part of the same production company that makes sense what is it what’s the one in Breaking Bad
Just do Breaking Bad car because now I can’t get it out of my head uh it was a it was an azac it was the azack who would have thought meth and Pontiacs it’s in hand baby but by the way when they did that they were like this is the
Lower middle working class teacher’s car who’s going to sell meth and then they wrote that into that show and now everyone who has one of those feels atrocious yeah that was it yeah it’s like a van sedan type of the vedan you know it’s B it’s a bummer when they put
Something in a movie or television show that you own that must that would hurt my feelings I’ve never had that happen well I mean it’s like I see it and I go well someone owns that you know what I mean like that’s like do you remember
The Will Ferrell sketch and he goes I drive a Dodge Stratus remember that everybody yeah and then I felt like dude every regular dude with a DOD Stratus was so embarrassed about it proba feels like when like your name was like Aaron and then ke and Peele came out
Everyone’s like he a exctly like I didn’t ask for this my mom was born like yo K peel have you seen the girl that lives in the house in Breaking Bad where they throw the pizzas on the house she like Gates it off and she like if you
Take a photo fromont the house she yells I feel bad for that yeah the old breaking B house [ __ ] expect well dude she doesn’t need to be bothered every day her [ __ ] life put a QR code out front sell a dude if she sold pizzas out front of her house she would make
Millions of dollars but people throw the pizza on a roof all the time right so now she that’s hilarious that is very funny like like we used to Tepe houses growing up but a pizza uh I mean that’s a hilarious where did you grow up again
Uh Ventura County like an hour from here oh yeah that’s right you guys TB houses and [ __ ] yeah you know what’s so funny is we we didn’t do it often we would we stole [ __ ] more really we steal hubcaps the the CH chromies yeah and we’d put
Them on our bike I like that we did that yeah we did that it was like the coolest feel you catch yourself a BMW chromy man you’re the coolest cat in town we had like bullet ones and you’re like dude this on mywin holy [ __ ] I might put a baseball car in
There that was really the that was the biggest thing my dad would get pissed you t a lot I don’t know why D we T this kid house and I feel bad about this now a lot of this is like post child regret where you’re like why did I do this but
We T this kid’s house so much they cut the tree down and then he posted on Facebook like to everybody who cut to TB our tree we cut it down that was the last thing our grandpa left us and I was like oh [ __ ] a tree [ __ ] that Grandpa dude that’s a
[ __ ] move dude be a real Grandpa leave me a trust you know leave me some cheddar not a tree yeah wrong type of paper Grandpa come on dude broke ass Grandpa yeah but like see that we didn’t do that we didn’t do that and we were
Doing double ply yeah we didn’t really I did we did it maybe I think we did it for like homecoming or something like that like that would happen egging was a thing in high school for me yeah we never did egging loved hucking a good egg at a house it’s hilarious nothing
Like it and then forking someone’s yard forking I tried to explain to someone else they didn’t get it but like you put it in and you snap it well yeah but it’s also cuz in the midwest you do it when it’s cold so the when the grass kind of
Gets really hard and freezes over it’s [ __ ] awful it’s like the meanest thing you can do man you fork and break you did that in Minnesota didn’t you yeah yeah that that’s a [ __ ] move out here really wouldn’t work as well cuz the ground doesn’t freeze everybody
Has asurf they don’t cut their own lawn they don’t know what the [ __ ] going on grass yeah exactly you grew like you know what’s so funny I never knew there I never had a neighbor in the midwest that had fake grass that didn’t exist mhm and then I moved out here and it
Like slowly but surely hit me that so almost everyone that lives around me has fake grass yeah they say it cuz like to conserve water you’re just lazy I like grass my guy give me grass you know yeah [ __ ] the and what do you think a dog feels like when he’s got a
[ __ ] on plastic nah dude give him grass yeah my dog wants to roll around and put her face in the grass and you cut your own lawn I do you do I do yeah I do I do I trim it I cut it uh I Leaf blow the
Leaves out you after like one or two specials you’d be like we’re done here no [ __ ] that dude no I do all that stuff I wash my car I wash my own car but washing the car I could get behind that’s like a that’s like a man thing I
Eny I want to get in the [ __ ] because it feels like I’m I don’t know it’s like a little bit of pride in it you have a great car Ula yeah nice but I do like to wash it right I I don’t know what it is I just I
Enjoy Drive body like wave at them when you’re washing it you know my neighbor dude every single time like I’m the only guy that watches no my one of my neighbors watches his car too but all the other neighbors when they see me washing my car same [ __ ] joke when
You’re done over there you want to [ __ ] me next and I and I said to my one neighbor was really funny he says she was washing their car his wife good and I said I saw I saw her out earlier today I see who wears the pants in the
House and he was like was he was like annoyed stun mad about it I was like I’m just playing man and he was like f and he just drove away I was like oh no dude he’s drove into a baranka he’s like I should created a fight with this guy and
His wife for no reason I just like it because it’s um put in headphones and I think it calms me down it’s therapeutic it’s quiet and slow there’s not there’s no rush I’m never doing it when I don’t have a ton of time I only do it when I’m
Like oh I can kill the afternoon doing this listening to you know a new album or something and then just kind of disappear yeah yeah it’s kind of R what I do with dishes I let them load up all week maybe two weeks and then I put on a
Podcast whiskey Ginger of course my first episode hey part one part socks stiff socks good pod stiff sock thank you so much dude and and uh then I just like crank it out at once but it feels like therapeutic I don’t like every single time you want me to get in there
Wash it load it like you so you don’t do dishwasher you hand I no I do but like I like rinse it off and then like get like the like oatmeal off the bowl a little bit of ketchup so you let it pile up in the sink though yeah you don’t just and
WR in the dishwasher you’re one of these people it’s so fascinating to me put it right in the dishwasher it’s right there you would think yeah you I sound like you’re my wife right now like she’ll open a box from Amazon and they just leave it and I’m like empty it out she
Like looks what it is and then puts it in the laundry room and I’m like get the stuff out yeah that’s me to a te you do that I just leave it somewhere and then I do like a big clean up on the Sunday
Yeah see I don’t like I say cuz I don’t the anxiety of it building up creeps me out I want it all just take care of it when you’re doing it for some reason I think the more messy the more like creative ah so I’m like I don’t give a
[ __ ] I got to get back to this Tik Tok edit and then I just leave a box or leave a play out I guess that might be true Dave Chapelle lives in a house of Filth that’s no no I’m kidding no no dude no I don’t think the mess you’re
The more creative there’s no chance there’s I think I think the people assume that you’re a more of a creative person if you’re if you’re kind of unhinged and weird but yeah at some point uh you want to feel um it could really go one of both
Ways because you ever seen the show about hoarders those [ __ ] aren’t creative the only ways they’re creative how they put [ __ ] in their house yeah he’s trying to find out if Chappelle has Dave Chappelle’s house did you have video on it is there QA that’s creepy that’s creepy Mone stop looking
Up cut it out will you this guy what a lunatic oh that’s his house yeah I’m sure that’s one of his homes yeah Jesus Christ you know what I mean yeah um before we get too far ladies and gentlemen that are out there in the world of of podcasting uh and standup
Comedy if you’re a fan you need to go watch this gentleman’s News special that’s out and available right now uh on it’s on Amazon Amazon Amon I saw on Amazon Prime I saw a billboard for it across the street from the Improv last night I went to the party and I was like
Oh that’s [ __ ] Rad but that that was what not them that was Amazon doing that that was Amazon putting it up that’s very nice yeah that was great they were like you have a billboard and then they just tagged this construction site but it’s like five different of my faces and
It’s right on Melrose which Prim location oh it’s the best I think it’s honestly better than uh just like one high up billboard it’s just like it feels right it’s street level there’s like five of it it feels like more like modern they what’s special called again pterodactyl pterodactyl pterodactyl what
A word what a I think it just sticks it does well I know it I know it now cuz I feel like it’s like I want like a special that’s just like uh you just you either know the name or of the the comic or they’re gonna type in Trevor Wall
Special or they’re be some dinosaur some [ __ ] I like that you know do you have a big wraparound joke about pterodactyl I do and then I kind of tag it a few times just like as a call back in there and I just thought it was like a like I love
How Tom girls were just sledgehammers just like boom it’s just like just one word powerful word well that’s because he’s a big Phil Collins fan that’s why yeah that’s why he named it that I know people think it’s something else it’s not he just really loved the song
Sledgehammer do you know that song I I know have you ever seen the live one In the Air Tonight on YouTube holy [ __ ] I’ve jerked off you ever watch that at 4:00 a.m. dude that’ll get your nipples erected I love Phill Callins dude he there’s nobody who like he owns it he
Embodies it Peter Gabriel I’m so sorry that’s who did Sledgehammer that’s right Peter Gabriel why does he feel like Phil Collins to me there’s P Peter Gabriel some names about it dude don’t do that don’t play that song dude don’t play that song don’t get me amped up in this
Room right now I’ll lose my [ __ ] mind oh blue face I don’t know about that yeah no blue face was okay back then you could still do it that’s tough I don’t know about that no you could still do it man trolls avar Smurfs yeah no Smurfs
Didn’t have rights back then they didn’t and and Smurfs lives matter I want to say that right now as I know it’s controversial as it may seem but I do feel like I should take a stand thank you for taking this not people say that but don’t but go watch people at some
Point please go watch at the end of this episode or pause it and go watch it and come back and go watch pterodactyl on Amazon you’re a great comic and you can and honestly I mean that because um when me and Bob did a show and and you popped
And did some time with us and I thought that was it’s cool to see it’s been cool to see kind of your Ascension not to say like I’ve been watching your but I have seen you have really like in the last couple of years it’s it’s been cool to
Watch you kind of Rise grow and expand yeah you and [ __ ] and uh and blow yeah I mean it’s wild to watch him grow into that too because I met that guy 15 years ago I’m me sure you know the story yeah we’re watching that recently it’s wild man and it’s not it’s
Not it’s great to see that and I’m glad like we’re getting to do our own thing thing and not to harp on it too much we’ll get back to fun stuff but um it’s cool and to see alternative like Amazon because Netflix was like the bully and
Now people are like okay I’ll just do my own thing now yeah and I’ll go a different way or I’ll self-produce or I’ll put it out on a different platform and barazi being on Amazon and I think all I think all of that is cool that it’s we’re Shifting the game it’s not
Just like you got to do it like this cuz it used to be just like whatever you guys want us to do man right and that’s kind of how Amazon uh was like the opposite they were great about it they’re like look we want to promoe just
As much as you do and they were like here’s what we’re going to promote on your side here’s what you can do on your side like it felt very uh collaborative versus I feel like um in Netflix I mean also a great company and so many of my
Friends have specials over there hey hey hey cheeseburger but but it felt like um and I don’t know how your deal with structure but it like it felt like they’re like all right go shoot it give it to us and you do the rest I don’t I
Don’t know I’m yeah for me it was for me it was I wanted to own it so I I was either going to self-distribute it somehow or something I didn’t really know so so when when I talked to Netflix I had said I do want to own all the
Material and I want it to be me and I don’t want like you to tell me I don’t want any I want to do all of it myself yeah I was like I want to pick it I want to I the only thing I wanted them to
Tell me what they needed was ratios for for for video oh yeah the only requirements I wanted from them were like tell me how tell me the ratios that the edit needs to be in and tell me like where the [ __ ] water marks need to be
And all that stuff for that’s it cuz outside of that I said I wanted to do I didn’t want any suggestions yeah and what’s great about this special is I own it after three years so it’s pretty much the same deal that it’s yours yeah then
I get it back that’s [ __ ] R and I get to just throw it up on Snapchat premium wherever the [ __ ] I want to put it after are you on are you on Snapchat still because people are on it making money I’m not making money like that but like
I still have it like I know people that post like they post a 100 times a day like a photo and then the last photo is like of a chick’s ass cuz that’s like the thumbnail of the story and it just it’s very smart I mean I I wish I knew
That many chicks with with a good ass or that many chicks in general just dming the same girl can we do that Weekly ass send your butt again please yeah I’ll Photoshop myself in there we’re at a Mets game um but it yeah that that seems like the most soul sucking version of
Making money you’re just because they post it would just be like if I did this podcast today it would be every single inch of this and I was like I also feel like I would dox myself without even knowing it yeah on accident you know be like oh this Chipotle is crazy and
Everyone’s like this is the chipot off interet Boulevard isn’t it and you’re like oh [ __ ] dude I don’t and you’re like it is yeah and do you want to hang yeah they come to beat my ass I’m taking photos of them hold on do you have a
Nice ass sir hold on hold on hold on yeah I don’t like any of that stuff like I don’t it’s a little too invas too close to home I you’re very good about that you’re like your your your personal life is your personal life and your
Career is your career I try I mean I’m also just not good at social media I don’t that’s funny I thought you were like very secretive you’re like I just don’t [ __ ] know I don’t really no I just don’t I just don’t I just don’t care enough about social media I I like
I I tried to give a [ __ ] and then every time I do I overthink it and then I’m like [ __ ] this never mind I do this and that and and bad friends so I feel like that’s my that this is my posting on Instagram or whatever whatever story
Post of the week you’ll just talk about it here instead yeah yeah might as like the story that I would have shared with them was with the thing I told you before like I just got back from the doctor and they tell me my cholesterol’s
Too high now I got to be on medication what are they given you um I don’t know the name of it I’m sure I’m sure it’s funny what cholesterol medication names are always funny do Cher medications well because they I think they partially want to make you feel bad about let’s
See lipor I mean it just always sound like I get my [ __ ] C that’s right Li spell alter prev lav La did you know your cholesterol is High I mean I could feel my sometimes I can hear my heart go ow and then I’m like all right great
That’s great yeah no I think I knew my cholesterol was high because the level of stress and stuff caused from the pain from this injury I have so I’ve been running higher than normal but I imagine too I’m not restricting my diet as much
As I used to really yeah I God I never restrict it and I feel like the fure yeah you’re good now in the future yeah now yeah 10 years you’re [ __ ] do you eat fast food I ate in and out like last night I mean it’s like my level of fast
Food yeah that is literally fast food it’s not your level that’s everyone’s level of yeah but in my head it’s it’s like shopping at Trader Joe’s it seems healthy in your head but there’s still really shitty food well there’s so much shitty in fact I think I would argue
Trader Joe’s percentage wise has more bad [ __ ] than good [ __ ] for you that’s very true their [ __ ] dessert uh the Frozen Frozen it’s all bad [ __ ] it’s all terrible [ __ ] for but in my head Trader Joe’s is like oh Health same thing with Whole Food in and out to me I’m like oh
They fried the fries in peanut oil we’re good yeah but you’re like but it’s fried it doesn’t [ __ ] matter yeah they believe they believe in Jesus over there we’re good they got quotes on the bottom of their cup John 3:16 God bless dude that’s why Chick-fil-A is closed on
Sunday to pray for the gays you know that’s what they say right on their cup we’re praying for gays we’re closed to pray for the gays and know that is still phenomenal to me that a business is so successful uh and they’re closed on a day where everybody would go get them
Dude you know the day that they reopen on Sundays is gonna be massive see I I don’t know I think this is the I think this is their calling card is like well imagine McDonald’s got bullying into doing like breakfast like past the normal hours do they do it all day I
Don’t think so it is all day now right why is it [ __ ] always beeping in there all day but but but all the time yeah even on a slow shift you know what that is that’s the Fred cooker telling you it’s done you got to pull it up and you got
To hit the button to stop it used to work at McDonald’s my D did you really yeah wow you gave me the full ass answer that’s the fry that’s sounds like a plan C has a timer yeah and they F you’re supposed to turn it off don’t those
Beeps drive you insane so you went McDonald’s TOA to beo that’s kind of a glow up no that was McDonald’s when I was 15 bu de Beppo was in college when I was Ving yeah but I worked a thousand jobs in between that did you have a
Bunch of shitty day jobs oh yeah yeah yeah I uh used to I used to work in a kiosk inside of a Costco in college oh wow window coverings it was uh yeah like like blinds and [ __ ] could you sell no I [ __ ] cuz what would happened is I was in
Middle man I would get like a dad who was just shopping out there for some michelobs would stop by and we’ see all the blind [ __ ] and he would be like how much for that and I like oh well we can just schedule you an appointment I was a
Middleman I would get their contact what a waste oh terrible but then the dads would always be like well I’ll tell you the dimensions right now it’s 9 by 16 and I want that right there I was like sir I don’t know I just wor I was in
College I was like hung over like sir I don’t know what I’m doing I used to write stand up while I was just there but the guys would yell at me and be like how do you not know much it’s cost I like I don’t work for I’m just a I’m
Just a guy this company failed yes probably there’s no chance that’s still around what a weird system do you want this product I do well I’m going to schedule you to talk to somebody else to get this product yeah cuz once they’re in your home you’re not going to knock
You know yeah but it’s also impos what one more step they don’t need doesn’t make sense remember my best day was when we so there was a bunch of me and my frat uh guys that work there fraternity fraternity sorry I don’t call your fraternity a FR you don’t TR your
Country a [ __ ] that’s what they used to say all the time I used to hear guys say that on camera you don’t call your country a [ __ ] God frity what fraternity were you in again Delta yupon wo that’s the Jewish one I’m just kidding not the it’s not
The Jewish one which one were you in one no dude they wouldn’t no chance look at me dude they wouldn’t let me in yeah but they seem you seem like an undercard and I mean that respectfully no you know what is I have a huge issue with
Authority and rules so I just don’t like I wouldn’t have the process dude there was a few guys that like weak one of like pledging they’re like no like clean this house they’re like no this is [ __ ] I just want women and chicks get this pledge out of here yeah no I
Was no that that’s just you would have never convinced me to do the thing to be a part of the machine [ __ ] that that was my issue was like I’m not doing that just to join but do you want to be friends with us it’s like I’ll be
Friends with you guys outside of the fraternity you just don’t want a Brotherhood yeah I mean you can be my homie you have to do the Elephant Walk with us that’s where you put a thumb in another man’s ass did you do that no no
No come on dude I did it you did dude that was off campus yeah that was just boys being boys that was just a good friends giving you you know what I mean just heading to Del Taco dude plug it in no I couldn’t do it because I didn’t
Have the I didn’t have the discipline to want to listen to other similar aged men telling me what to do is crazy you know what I mean if if they you know what they should do just bring in an older guy to bully you around and I would listen to that guy
Cuz this guy was like 22 but he had a beard I that’s impressive for me I still can’t you still can’t get one it’s it looks like a GameStop employee like it’s not good like it’s like patchy like like like I really went for it during the
Pandemic for like a month and it just didn’t and I never like the response people give me they’d be like oh you’re are you really going for it and you’re like [ __ ] either you have it or you don’t yeah Adam Divine showed up last night to to the thing uh to the event
Big name drop he’s got yeah he’s got a new mustache on his face and and it looks actually pretty good you know the cool part about this town wait what were you saying no I said I didn’t see him as a mustache guy yeah but now that he I
Saw I was like pretty impressed I was like that’s uh I was a little shocked that it looked so good there it is here zoom in zoom in on the photo he’s got a mustach face he’s got a little like ha to him you know that’s what he said he’s
He’s like a French detective yeah he does have a little bit of Pink Panther yeah you know what I like about this town is you can do anything you want and be like oh it’s for a roll like you can look like [ __ ] A I got this movie coming
Up and then that movie just never comes up you could do that with anything when you [ __ ] rob somebody be like just for a roll bud I’m yeah character development holy [ __ ] yeah this guy this is for a role that you’re do the people on camera know what that looks like yeah
People people do know by now that makona shaved his head to match Carlos on bad friends yeah oh that’s good it’s kind of fun he committed to the bit wow committed to the bit have you done anything like this have you ever committed to the bit commit to the bit
CU you do like look dude of all the stuff that you’ve done I mean you’ve you’ve created so much funny content on the internet in terms of like videos and sketches have you gone overboard and committed to the bit with something like that bit um my version of that is uh
Like bleached my hair with $8 Target bleach and my mom did it for me like four years ago rad mom great mom I was in between apartments and then I lived home for a month and she bleached my hair and it looked terrible I’ve never had worse comments my life like use
Toner you [ __ ] idiot looks like a cat peat on your head yeah it wasn’t good and Trevor Well’s bleached hair and I kind of yeah so in the white Club video like one of my most like big videos I had this like bleached hair it just looked like I have a very douchy
Punchable face but like this really up the anti like that is like you see that guy at a Kmart you just know he’s stealing whippets I hate that guy yeah not good but but I like you like this so much more oh yeah I did it for like the
Bit I was like I wanted to do it for a video deep down I was like I want know and blow’s got bleached hair too so he’s going through the same thing but he looks like he should have bleached hair for I don’t know what it is it looks
Like it’s supposed to be that way it fits I dark hair underneath it does work but I feel like bleaching your hair is like a girl’s version of getting bangs like you’re going through something you don’t know what it is but you daddy issues yeah there’s something in life
For you it’s mommy issues that’s all that is cuz who did it your hair yeah exactly mommy did it for me so what you moved back home and then you move back now you’re living alone again right live alone again out here in the valley just
Me and my cat dude woo lonely what’s the pussy’s name Pluto oh right on after Pluto the dog or Pluto the planet you know I don’t like Pluto not a planet not anymore yeah we denounced it right wow it got canceled Pluto as a planet got canceled I feel that though you know
2015 came around and they’re like we’re done with you yeah they did they shuffled it right off into [ __ ] yeah I just feel bad for Pluto the actual Planet like what is he know oh it’s also a dwarf planet I don’t know if we say that careful with that kind of language
That’s what it says on Google I don’t know if we can say l Planet little planet planet yeah it’s an LP little planet [ __ ] my bad hper belt a ring of the bodies beyond the orbit of Neptune it’s the ninth largest and 10th most massive known object to directly orbit
The Sun so dude this guy’s buffed up he’s jacking around the Sun and they still won’t recognize him and he got discovered in 1930 my man’s coming up on a 100 years he’s a 90-year-old man and we’re like dude you’re not [ __ ] real and he’s like what that’s so [ __ ] up
Dude imagine telling a guy with dementia you’re not real then you have to tell him every five minutes but think about that it’s also kind of cool that he’s not a planet because he’s also a massive star like if he’s a star in solar system he’s one of the biggest star Stars right
You know like he’s like Johnny Manzel in the CFL superstar superstar NFL like yeah you know like Pluto is the Johnny Manzel of the planet he’s a great guy he should be nicknamed Pluto Johnny Manzel yes he went up to the league and they I love Johnny Manzel like in college I
Think I dressed up as him for Halloween one year he was like my guy I was he he was your dude huh dude when you I was in college at the same time he was playing we’d watch A&M games our school had a football team they sucked wait what
School San Jose State we were D1 we’re like the Mountain West we like play like a [ __ ] like a good League or something right but we would get up early and watch A&M games like we Johnny Manzel was like the guy he really was dude that guy being in college at the
Same time as him like I felt like this weird connection well that’s well that’s the same thing was you grow up with athletes you feel like you like it’s crazy creepy to me to think that LeBron and I are the same age that’s weird as [ __ ] because I like grew watching him
And now I’m like but we’re we’re the same age it’s super weird in my mind I always thought he was much much older than me but he’s not were this it’s like why would I think that we graduated the same holy [ __ ] it’s creepy to think that
As you get older especially cuz now if I there’s pro athletes that I know and they’re buddies but he also has bad cholesterol uh no no dude we just got a checked LeBron is all good his lipids were high for some reason but I don’t I
Don’t even know what that means sneak up on you could be HGH or the tea you’re not taking the tea you don’t need any of that stuff I take a lot of it you do T aw no uh in I don’t know why this is all
About college but in college I did a uh my friend did steroids I did one shot of steroids one day in your ass uh no left bicep I should have done aren’t you supposed to put it in your butt isn’t that the whole thing I think so but you
Have to have somebody else do it in like a Gold’s Gym you know they say you have to have somebody else put it in your ass but you can put it in your ass yourself what if you miss and somebody’s going to clip that what I just said and that I
Have has put a suppository in what what for I have a really bad colon like I have a this thing called aler of colitis ladies you turned on yet ladies I have a bad colon and they didn’t know what it was and to get to your colon It’s like
The mo it’s like it’s like the spot under your car seat where the french fries go even deeper you can’t like get to it so you either have to shoot something up your ass or put something down your throat and I was like look the
Male g-spots in the ass let me go up there so for like a month straight I would every night my roommates never knew this when I lived in uh when I first moved to LA I had to every night put a suppository up my ass and I was
Like imagine walking in on your roommate and I’m just like spread eagle just sitting there like yeah I paid my rent every night I had to do it and then in the morning startup Trevor but uh we got to split up the cable bill so trying to
Watch animal plant what the [ __ ] do you need help were you moaning so you put it up for how many years uh I did it for a month straight and then you but you could have taken it orally right no because this was a time where like they needed this
Like medicine to be in like my colon so I like shoot it up my ass it’s like a very weird time in my life I so now the Colon’s fine because now they found the medicine that I can just take orally to make it good what’s that one called
Mopine mopine shout out to mpto purine and all of the good it does see look dude I’m on meds you’re on meds we’re doing it dude we’re Med Boys Everybody walks past us on the street like wow their life must be so perfect I’m putting [ __ ] up my ass nightly Med men
We should run our own medmen where it’s just you and I talking about the medication that we’re currently taking that would be great people like is there weed here like no dude my boy’s going to show you how he put stuff in his butt yeah but bend over you’ll be healthy
Your colon will be good are you a weed guy do you smoke weed kind of sometimes I smoked recently a bunch I just hate the next day uh feeling a little off you do you feel off it does affect a little like I feel like no matter how much
Coffee I have or even if I work out I hit that like ceiling in in the morning where it’s just like there’s like Haze you feel that or no no man honestly I don’t I I feel that way uh I feel that way when I get high that’s not the next
Day I’m I’m usually pretty good um booze is probably the you know booze the next day even if I’m not like drinking heavily even if I have a couple I still feel BL from booze the thing that makes me feel the worst the next day is NyQuil
Dude yes nightquil if I I feel like [ __ ] for like like the first six hours of the day yeah you feel like you’re brain is on like subtitle mode it’s like slightly delayed yeah you know de personalization syndrome is you know what that is where you’re like disconnected from yourself
That’s how I feel I feel de personalized where I’m like yeah I hate that [ __ ] drowsiness and all that stuff also the dreams you have on like NyQuil insane getting your ass eaten by a gargoyle or something doc lamine yeah that stuff it it lasts forever and I think sometimes
It uh I think sometimes like anything you know how when you take an edible and they’re like each of these should be like three or five grams or whatever in your you know what I mean like if it’s a homemade if it’s not you know
You don’t know how much is in each one of those you’re like we’re guessing it’s the same thing I don’t use the cap on N I just sip it out the bottle same that cap thing gets thrown away right when you open exactly because it’s messy and
I don’t do the dishes we all know this I gota wait till Sunday to take it but yeah just do be like all this feels about right glug glug glug and then the next morning I feel like [ __ ] I hate it I I I did it recently because I couldn’t
Get to sleep uh because I was having B leg pain so I was like [ __ ] this I’m just going to try I woke up to piss you are 40 dude 100% I woke up to piss like twice and then I sh when that when does
That start W up to piss late 30s like 36 37 okay I got to C you wake up to piss yeah I don’t have that yet and thank god well the trick is not drinking water after a certain hour of the night my God
This is old [ __ ] dude do you leak at all we talked about this on bad friends too after you piss you ever shake and then leak a little bit dud it gets hey gets worse really yeah dude you’ll start flooding your jeans my dude no way dude
I was uh I was wearing boxes the other day I forget what why but like I like paned similar to these on and you can just see a hole a spot a little PE spot right there that’s a little aggressive where my I was just going to say dud I
Was kind of by you know my ankle up here but yeah I was a full-blown that’s a PE spot I speaking of PE can I go to the bathroom real quick NOP all right cool so anyways bad friends today is brought to you by litra in here we pour whiske
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Yeah [ __ ] yeah dud I think your press your one of your uh oh yeah the pr PR the pr the pr person they sent it to me it’s so funny it’s funny when you know the person you’re like what what do you mean it’s like this is Trevor walls
Here’s the things you can talk about just jump off W well because here’s the deal dude you have you have to self-promote yeah you know I I think I’ve talked about it on this stupid show but I saw a great interview from uh duplass and he he was talking about I
Think it was a commencement speech and he was talking about when you make make something in this business you you think that or they tell you like hey man you make something you work really hard and you do good the calvary will will come calling and you’re like all right and
You make this thing and you put it out and you put all this effort into it and you’re like come on man I like I’m I’m I’m doing it like I need help yeah and then once it comes out you’re like all right calary is going to come you know
What I mean meaning like it’s a we’re this is it dude and it doesn’t come and then you do another thing and you do all the self-generated thing and then you’re like hi right calvary’s coming though right they’re going to [ __ ] call me and and then he goes then you you work
Tirelessly until you reach a point in your career when you realize the calvary isn’t coming and it never was going to [ __ ] come you had to self-generate all this stuff no matter what so you have to do all of this work other people around you are
Great to help you but at the end of the day I think people don’t really know in our business particularly like if you don’t go do it it ain’t happening right it just is not I know people are like they’re plugged into the system or the
You know like you hear these rumors when somebody says like the business wants him to make it it’s like that’s not a real thing right that that doesn’t it’s either that person has incredibly good um promotional skill work or um they have hired enough people around them who
Are intelligent that know how to promote them enough so that the thing that they made can get more eyes or if they’re like a mystery person where it’s like you kind of disappear like Frank Ocean’s one of those guys where it’s like you never know what he’s doing and then he
Finally drops something out of the blue and it just like it hits it’s like oh [ __ ] this is out now yeah I mean he he has that but let’s be honest I mean I’m not this is no diss on him Frank is is also niche in the world first name bases
Oh F dog is what I call him boy I think I call him F boy yeah uh fboy Island this week on Netflix with nicker uh no I think I think with him it’s like he’s not in the commercial SP do you know what I’m saying like he’s a
He’s niche in the world of like he’s very known in music but he’s not pop culturally known so he captivates a market that is already itching for him to continue to make art like I don’t think okay I Ser if I go ask 30 people on the street you know varying ages who
Frank Ocean is is I think half would know yeah you know but if I go said who’s [ __ ] you know Taylor Swift is you know what I mean he’s not in the pop culture space so it’s like for him I think he wants to stay more isolated and
Small and then make something and then go away for a little bit yeah he already got the audience I think he was on accident his mysteriousness I think he’s like oh I just like wanted to be away from a little bit get away from the machine yeah but then everyone’s like
He’s so mysterious and and like whatever it is but like it’s also the same thing with like chappels like nothing nothing nothing Boom special you’re like oh [ __ ] it’s everywhere yeah but I feel like what he did in the beginning to get that is like what I feel like I have to go
Through now it’s like there’s sending me so many uh like uh things that you say that but some of those guys were always that way really some of those guys were just always that way they always were like I’ll give it to you when I’m ready
And it just works for some reason you know it just yeah and granted this my first special so I don’t really know how much I need to do but like I really want to like just just go all out because if I did as much promo as I could and it
Does great awesome I feel like I earned it if it flops hey I did what I could well there’s no flopping that doesn’t exist that’s not a real thing it’s going to come out and people are going to like it some people won’t see it some people
Yeah how do you feel before like like a week before cheeseburger are you are you still could care less yeah couldn’t care less I put it out I had fun I hope you like it that’s Lally how I feel I loved it yeah I had a good time yeah the first
Cut I was like what the [ __ ] is this well yeah that’s and then I sat down with it and after like you know I drove up to the editor’s place and like stayed there for the weekend and we like just went through all this edits and and then
I was like there it is there it is and I was like it felt very collaborative sure and I was pitching stuff to it but I mean that’s that’s that’s I I honestly because you know that some people aren’t going to like it a lot of a lot of
People most people most people won’t see it yeah so then I just go the people that do see it I hope they [ __ ] dig it and I hope they know that I enjoyed the [ __ ] out of making it yeah it was more fun than anything I never wanted to
Be and this is I want to know with you like I never wanted to be this like profound comedian I just wanted to go [ __ ] around and have fun like I wanted to be fun it is funny looking at how like how HD and how it’s like like
8K gorgeous picture and I’m up there being like I don’t mind coming too quick huh it is just funny like like when there’s like you go to the video Village and there’s just like 10 different cameras and all right cut to C cut to a but the material you’re talking about is
The same thing you’d be doing at The Improv any given night sure so it’s it’s just funny that like uh it it just looks so good it looks phenomenal and not to jerk my own CAC but I think it looks really good I love the set dressing and
Uh who did it who shot it 800 lb uh gorilla yeah the the best durmer buddy of ours yeah he recom he couldn’t do it because of he’s a [ __ ] no the writer strike director strike a [ __ ] director strike he could [ __ ] say action um so
Yeah uh he had his buddy George do it who you know yeah George yeah so he so he did it for me and he [ __ ] crushed it man I’m really excited it looks great and um and the jokes are funny jokes are funny and you bring out you bring out um
An animal on stage and you sacrifice it is that the yeah I mean I was going to kind of save that for like the ending be oh we’ll cut it we can cut that yeah if you if you could please but you do you like you kill a small dog is that what
That is it’s like it’s like kind of like a it’s like a Yorkie so like is it a dog you know that’s kind of I I did a poll on my Instagram beforeand I was like what dog is like not a dog and most people are like the the crusty white
Dogs you those got to go what dog are you guys cool with me killing on stage and bassed H was a runner up but they’re like just put him out of the misery every bark those things have sounds like their last oh my buddy had growing up had one of those
[ __ ] things yeah that and beagles yeah beagle that’s what it is it was a beagle I Mist it too but basen hounds have those sad ones too I mean what ears drag ground that’s cute dude they [ __ ] you know they mop up the floor dude they could fly so easy just flap
Those over the eyes but you’re a cat guy you know you don’t like dogs yeah well the next special I’m going to sacrifice my own cat good for you and this going be called is Pluto a planet starring Johnny Manzel that’s right yeah so probably I just be kind of TI if Johnny
Manzel did your jokes on stage you shot him doing your [ __ ] that’d be [ __ ] rad that been a good promo I’m going to call him right now yeah you know Johnny imagine if he’s just on FaceTime all the time like you’re you went to ASU or UA Arizona State watch your mouth dude
Sorry sorry s go to school in Mexico dude Phoenix dude for dirty tea yeah he’s in Arizona he’s an Arizona guy he’s in Scottville yeah do you know him I don’t know him dude I know a few people that have like run into him you know
What I mean but I don’t uh I do not know him but I’m fascinated by I am fascinated by did you watch the documentary on oh yeah I watched that like man it’s it’s almost like sad well here’s here’s my kind of for people that haven’t seen it it’s just you know it’s
A tale of like the struggle of what it’s like to come out of being you know the most uh you know hyped up beloved Heisman winner out of college and then the NFL kind of pushing you around a little bit and not really working you feeling not a part of the system you
Struggling with his outside these outside things yeah and I will say this uh when I’ve spoken to any of people at that high level the the thing that we don’t recognize as regular people is like they’ve been training like that since they were CH and I mean literal
Children yeah especially Texas yeah CH is seven years old and you’re and you’re being pumped into a system they cut the umbilical cord and go hike let’s go baby yeah they come out like that they go Omaha Omaha that’s his middle name how’ you know first word for Omaha yeah they
So they breed you into this world of like you have to be obsessed with sports so by the time they hit 22 they’re tired it kind of feels like your friend who was grouped super super religious and then they go to college and they finally get a little bit of freedom and they’re
Like I don’t need to live by my parents rules like what the [ __ ] was I thinking suddenly I’m doing cocaine off a Buick key and I kind of like it an Aztec an Aztec key a ponac Aztec like we have a f we have a family friend who who who grew
Up uh pretty strict Mormon and then all of the kids rebelled all of them went off the radar because they were like oh you can live more free you don’t have to feel guilty about wanting to have a a drink or it just I think culturally when
You force people to do something for so long when you’re really young when you get older you’re definitely going to be like [ __ ] that you try it and you’re like oh my God this is so much better yeah oh I’m sorry a Mountain Dew to a [ __ ] a
Mormon bro oh relapse right there I mean dude that and the Alish the alus fascinate me too have you ever seen them yeah yeah and when I’m doing gigs in like Pennsylvania you’re just like driving from gig to Gig you open your eyes and there they are horse and bugged
Out I do love that they have cool ones I saw him recently it was it was it was Matt black with black windows they got the swaged out dude yeah it was like sick it like lo I mean maybe somebody died and it was like a hearse or
Something I was just going to say it could have been something else yeah I don’t know it but it looked like the like the pope was in town that is pretty clean do they ever dress up their horses I wonder you know do they they like no well they got convertible versions too
They got the drop top sof top there it is kids in the back being like what the [ __ ] you looking at you see them back there the horse and Bug yeah so like I like I want to live Amish for a week just to see what’s going on you want to
Go you could yeah well there’s this show I love watching called return to Amish and they it’s like a reality show and they beef got so [ __ ] funny like what they beef over they’re like you texted Darlene they’re like what the [ __ ] did you say I did I texted I don’t do that
Devil magic it’s [ __ ] great never seen this show before I’ve never just documenting people that live in the Amish community it’s people who I think the family’s still full-blown Amish but then somebody left and they came back I like when they leave oh they came back though yeah but
I think this whole show is fake somehow because like they wouldn’t allow somebody with a video camera in their house but like dude the slow-mo look at this this is [ __ ] hard that is kind of red but they like somebody goes to like New York and then they come home
And they’re like what was it like in that [ __ ] people world well that’s like uh rum springing that’s what it is right rum springing you know what that is sounds fun though rum springing is a um it’s a oneyear sabatical oh yeah uh that they take to go here the rum you
Get one year to see if you want to live that spring write a passage during adolesence translated from guy smoking crack that’s right yeah well you got to light up a rock I mean if I had a year to leave the Amish and do whatever how
Soon are you smoking crack first day my guy that’s where my first stop go get a rock I’m getting the horse and buggy and I’m blowing crack up my ass so they’re allowed to go rage for like a year and if they come back it’s because they
Really I think the goal is if they come back it’s because they really want to be a part of the faith dude this is like the Amish Bar Mitzvah like that is the best thing I think you could a year you and I should write a movie about rum
Springer I’ll be your I’m your older brother I never did it and in the movie your will say your well how old are they when you do rum spring there’s obviously a movie about look that guy right there was it good it’s but it’s no it wasn’t
Good we’re doing our version you think oh that’s on Netflix you think a Trevor Wallace Andrew Santino rum spring is isn’t going to crush it’ll kill dude yeah I got the idea right here I’m your older brother when did it come out 2022 what does it say your what does it
Counts on hold Jesus Christ young Amish man trying to uh travel to Berlin on a r of pass to connect Roots yeah no no I’m out I’m out I got a better version of this rum spring I don’t even know if you can say that word still room springa so
You’re you’re 18 in the movie you’re about to become a man what the [ __ ] uh that’s uh Osama bin lad and Ariana Grande you didn’t know they used to date is that what yeah Osama and Ariana Grande were a couple for a short period of time wow isn’t that crazy she was the
One she she’s whispering in his ear there Tower two that was all her dude they’re recreating the bush yeah yeah the bush secret yeah the bush Secret by the way let’s bring up a picture of that one more time for fun when Bush is told
That the planes hit the tower on 911 my favorite thing about that is um people were so angry about his reaction what did you want him to do turn to a bunch of kids and be like dude your guys are not gonna believe this did you see the
Golf swing oh I loved it I loved it I talked about I talked about in my special I do a bit about where he’s like you know we have to defeat Terror right and he’s like now watch this swing I love this guy he was like we’re gonna
Bomb the world now check me out I think he handled it hilariously it was great what did you want him to do that’s the second he found out about he’s being told that uh the exact words whispered in George W’s ear that the United States
Is under attack and then he cuts to a blue ad he’s like all we’ll be right back but today we’re responsed by Blue great if you just threw in a Zen just threw in a roof oh this is the exact I’ve never seen this video this is the
Exact moment where he is told in his years what was he what was he doing before this he’s just read like doing a book reading to kids or something like that doing one of those look he’s like Mr President there’s a plane just ran into the well train huh because after
The first one they didn’t know was a terrorist attack there was a lot of like misinformation about it and that basically confirmed that it was a terrorist attack and we were at War and all the and he’s still reading the book well I think he’s contemplating what the
[ __ ] I’m going to do well because what he’s really thinking is it worked it worked it worked this is and he looks over and goes let me know about number three let me know about number three holy [ __ ] dude I had no idea that he was just like
In a classroom right there yeah just kicking it well how old were you during 911 what is you were born in what 92 holy [ __ ] eight I think it was in first grade yeah you don’t remember it at all no I remember the morning oh you do I
Remember the morning we were in class and the teacher like said something like this is going to be a very different day and I was like I don’t know that a different day yeah that’s all I remember I remember pretty vividly I was in high school but my teacher also had a pet
Snake in that class so that’s very on brand for her and if you got extra credit you could watch her on the last Friday of the month watch her feed the snake and mouse what yeah you could watch it like everybody would go to recess and if you
Like got good grades you could watch the snake feed k shout out to her Mrs Kyle yeah shout out to miss Kyle I hope she’s not I hope she’s one of the good ones yeah she’s still around well because all I keep reading is every t look like if
You just Google teacher and stud mean you want to be around kids all day it says something about Creepy dude yeah oh they busted another one they just busted teacher and that one right there they just busted what does it say another ex- Middle School teacher hooking up with uh
A 14-year-old or something it’s insane dude how many of these chicks hook up with these young dudes I just looked up teer I didn’t even look yeah Sher step teacher in front of it see what else ster step teacher I Dro my pencil step teacher that’s the new
Category coming out step teacher When Worlds combined all the chalk has been smacked out of these eraser step teachers oh my God clap my cheeks like those erasers that’s crazy I mean look if you’re a teacher and you want to teach Middle School what’s going on here’s the
Deal you should have to be ugly the teach I think you should have to be ugly so that kids aren’t trying to have this weird relation the kids who’s fault kids are kids are always ugly kids are [ __ ] repulsive creatures good you ever seen a teenage boy they’re [ __ ]
Hideous they’re dumb looking teenage boys are the ugliest things to ever walk the earth they’re the dumbest they’re the dumbest version of any creature that’s that is true they’re the ugliest most uncomfortable and awkward they look like an energetic sloth like they hair is kind of just over their eyes like the
The the facial expression is slow but they’re like moving with pace and they’re beaming with with hormones but they don’t know how to feel about them so they’re really like like itchy and gross in their own skin and they’re all pimply and greasy and they never teenage
Boys boys to me are I I like you hot yeah for you maybe I not for me dude I think they should be eradicated from society I think you should hide your teenage boys until they until they become like 17 and like Michael Jackson did with his son Blanket trap and then
Let them out again yeah when when he’s an adult hibernate your teenage boys from like 13 to 17 they should be hibernating I swear to God 10 Winters yeah like an all boy school should be like an it should be like a prison they should not be able to leave until they
Become men and then they cut it out with the [ __ ] yeah did you ever go to like an all boy school no dude I went all girl SCH a public school I did go to those okay would not let me in all right just not on the door you don’t know what
I am yeah don’t Define me I got tits no I’m a public school kid man I’m a public school kid through and through I didn’t really know private school to me was always well Catholic school or whatever as a kid that was for kids that whose parents were either you know pretty rich
Yeah or kids who were [ __ ] smart MH for me it was like we were just dumb regular kids like the smart kids would go to Catholic school because they knew it was going to up their chance of getting to a better University I was a
Dumb kid in high school I was a senior in a math class with sophomores I thought was tight it was not not tight yeah the guy who uh this guy gave $20 to get me weed never gave me weed was it Punk got got got he was in my class with
Me it was me and a guy who RI me off for 20 bucks just in class and you never said anything you never tried to fight this guy he was uh bigger than you very big he was on like the football team there’s Trev High that’s high school so
Think even worse yeah dud GES I look like I should run for May of Tucson that’s a that’s a guy right there but yeah the guy who stole weed from me uh or weed money was just sitting right behind me in class Anthony what does he say verified on that Anthony what let’s
Call him out dude remember Anthony you know who you are you can’t steal you can’t steal money from Trevor now dude where is he now and where are you know no idea pretty good I think you won that war probably I think so you got the 20
Bucks back but hey you know what if you needed that $20 then whatever you know that’s that’s God’s plan right there as our boy champagne poppy Drake said that’s exactly right that kid has cancer by the way Anthony riddled with it oh yeah huh that’s what you get [ __ ] no h i
Don’t but yeah that class it was all sophomores than me then my friends would be like asking me like did you how’s your algebra is your class hard I’m like algebra when do I get to that level yeah that’s in college right yeah dude I was
Not smart I I was like literally doing like whipits and [ __ ] I was like I was a weird kid in like high school I just hung out with dudes like we just try to get high that sounds right and we found out about chicks are like sophomore end
A sophomore year and we’re like whoa seems like a lot of work but I’ll try yeah yeah that’s sort I think I’ll put in some of the effort are these like an indica or sativa like how do they get us High I remember one time my high school
Girlfriend said uh high girlriend are great she goes I don’t know why you feel like lying to me about hanging out with your guy friends and I was like what do you mean and she’s like you’ll pretend that we’re going to hang out and then never make time for me and I’m like
Because I don’t I don’t like you like that I just want you to wear my football jersey on Fridays that’s all this relationship is I like you a lot but like I like my friends so much more yeah Clark can play guitar Andy is a tarantula what do you bring to the
Table come on dude did you guys do that your school where like the the chicks would wear the guys football jersey on Friday yeah I didn’t play football but I that’s that was a thing I didn’t either that was thing seeing that like that’s how like girls would like hard launch
Like their relationship with a guy they’d be like wait she’s wearing where is Jersey yeah yeah it was also I think during my era it was also class rings was a big thing like you gave your a girl a your class ring like she wore your I think that was also like another
Thing I didn’t do any of that cornball [ __ ] I didn’t even are you kidding me my 40 a coach shut the [ __ ] up you want to run a play you’re talking you’re running your mouth I was so bad at that dude my coach actually criticized me he
Like you don’t want to you oh he said something like you’re too good for a letterman jacket and I was like no I just that’s not me I don’t want to wear that Jack I want to play the sport I don’t need to wear the jacket to to let
People know I play the sport and he was like real critical of it he thought I what’s worse you doing that or the guy who wears the Letterman like 5 Years After High School definitely the guy After High School 100% that’s the saddest guy I don’t think that happens
In this day and age anymore but it did my generation small town maybe yeah also class ring was really weird it was like I see guys I would see guys After High School wear their class ring I’m like what are you doing my buddy uh used to
Work for the USC football team didn’t even play for USC football but he worked for the team he did like sales and [ __ ] so so we got a ring somehow and when we would go out he would like wear it and I’m like that is Stolen Valor Stolen
Valor dude but also like check your paper soldier it’s like I would see him from across we go to like the Bungalow in Santa Monica the worst bar in the world but my favorite and you just see him across like just like you can just see I mean people probably bite the bait
I’m sure there were some girls that like that’s so cool the ring was massive it was like a ring pop on steroids but like it like I like try to wear it didn’t fit I have like little feminine fingers it didn’t fit my fingers I wear it as a
Necklace little tiny head bungalow Santa Monica that was the spot huh yeah that was the spot many many many years ago man I used to live in Santa Monica when I first moved to LA so that was like the Saturday day spot if I like didn’t have
Anything going on I can’t believe you’re not a beach guy I would fit you for a beach guy for the rest of your life I lived in Santa Monica for a longest time then I lived in Venice for a little bit got over it yeah just like sick of the
Homeless stuff I know that’s cliche but it is real it is tough down there it’s just it’s just too much it’s too much vagrancy I didn’t like leaving my house and then you’re just immediately in the chaos yeah that’s what it is it’s too much I love New York but it’s the second
You’re out of your plays you’re just in it you’re just in the 101 New York feels less threatening to me because everyone’s kind of doing something correct where Venice people are like Milling about I just feel like it’s like nobody has a goal yeah that is true if
Venice had more like guys with the briefcases I’d be like this is normal yeah Venice feels like uh how how all of the characters in Truman Show were like they’re pretending to do something like you’re not [ __ ] doing anything dud none of these people have jobs your
Laptop is upside down what are you typing on meeting adjourned yeah exactly no I I don’t that was my problem with the west side was always like it’s it’s really La too it’s it’s a lot of people doing nothing and they’re all there I don’t I don’t like that it is very bizarre
Tuesday 2 p.m. packed packed what is going on Neil Brennan used to be like I got to get out of here I don’t need to go into another coffee shop watching someone write their dream I was like that’s so funny that is the west side is filled with people just like manifesting
Like last night we went out and got something to eat and there was a kid who was writing what looked like code maybe I’m too dumb to know and he was sleeping at his computer at the coffee shop writing code and I was like La is a city
Where it’s like if you’re going to have a dream we want to all see you doing it yeah yeah you better get out there and show off they want a double side a laptop so everybody can see at all given angles like I am riding a screenplay it
Is kind of weird it’s I mean this this city promotes uh flaunting the process where I think other cities like New York and Chicago or like you don’t really talk about it until you’ve done it but here so many moves here the first year they’re like I’m an actor and you’re
Like oh Ser oh wow I what have you been doing it’s like I I was on a ring camera last night so yeah haven’t even done one audition but it’s just people are allowed you’re allowed to promote your dreams at face value here so much louder
Than other places are a little bit more embarrassed about their dreams but I also feel like the more you talk about it it’s like it’s like the louder guy in the fight’s going to get his ass beat you know like the more you talk about it
The more I’m like I don’t believe you that’s true right just do it you’ve been in this town long while you know those guys that just like every time they see you like yeah I’m actually pitching I’m working on this thing really movie I told you yeah dude we got to have you
And then I’m like what you have 10 different projects going on right now whenever somebody does that I always go but how are you smart like are you how are you how’s the guy I [ __ ] give a [ __ ] about what project you’re working on how’s the dude yeah what is know how
To like stop that talk but that’s great cut it off I cut it off I’m always like yeah but what’s going on with you for real yeah you’re great with that well when I do that it’s kind of like it’s saying no offense but I don’t give a
[ __ ] about right right right right right if I like you as a guy yeah I don’t like your [ __ ] your uh your drive for work do you think entertainment is the only art that does that like do you think anybody in like HR just you know what I’ve been working
On I was crushing some slack this morning and then tomorrow night we got an investor meeting with a pitch me no yeah look at Finance I’m sure those guys no never shut the [ __ ] up about that [ __ ] Aderall baby yeah right they’re just [ __ ] cranking cocaine co co
Cocaine’s new daddy Aderall I just feel like anything in a business of where your success rate is dependent upon your output I think people are going to talk a lot about it right if you’re if you’re a hedge fund guy yeah uh anything in money and finance and movement it’s like
You have to go make it which is what we do it’s like you got to go make your own career people are going to talk about it because they want you to know they’re doing it in the event that you can maybe help them get the thing that they need
Ah which is also a little disingenuous and unfortunate that it’s like you know what I’m working on and you remember that guy we used to hang with if you know if that guy’s I don’t know if you guys I mean if he can yeah if you reach
Out and connect us and which I I’ll help I’ll help anybody that I can that I know is putting in the effort to do something right I’ll help you as much as I can but sometimes people are crazy out of bounds in this city oh my God they ask
For stuff and you’re like that’s [ __ ] insane why would that’s insane that you even think that that’s cool to ask for but you got to applaud the balls too sometimes I’m like well [ __ ] if you don’t say it nobody knows Tim D had a really funny story where he like some
Guy randomly dm’ like I got a great pitch for Rogan and then he didn’t respond for like four hours and the guy’s like fine you’re a [ __ ] anyways like how four hours how did we get from this to this yeah but that would make me want to respond that would make me be
Like that’s [ __ ] I’ll SC I’ll screenshot this in Senator it’s just you clearly have Alpha energy radiating through your body I’ll fire this off to Big Dog yeah that is true well the the flippant nature of people that love you and hate you is very funny too like if
You ever dive into your request folder sometimes I dive in there sometimes like once in a while I like to like Duck in there and see what’s going on my favorite is if I see someone has messaged me four years ago and is like um I [ __ ] love you man love this
Thing that you did or whatever and then a year and a half later I was like dude [ __ ] you loser yeah what changed and then another year later they’re like what’s been going on with you and Bobby dude you can literally see a timeline of their emotional instability with you
Yeah where you’re like what’s going on dude just a live motoring going on I do kind of dip into those requests sometimes just to see people who have respond or you just look at them no I never I I don’t respond to it no no because it’s most of invalidates well no
But most of them are like um uh most of them are racist video clips that people want me to show Bobby most of them are like a fat asian guy who’s like is this Bobby that’s mostly what it is in my DMs I was going to say cuz exclusively dudes
I will say that you I was going to say being always yeah imagine I’ll show you are Bobby’s DMS horny oh yeah cuz he’s single he’s running he’s running hot look at how many dudes it’s all dudes look at this all dudes yeah a lot of
Ryan Ben Robert David that was me that’s you that was my fin but honestly Danny Dallas Nick Joel Joe Rowan Craig Rowan could be a chick no it’s a dude it’s and it’s two dudes hugging holding fist up in the photo even man but you see I mean
It’s just like it’s literally it’s all bros that are trying to send me a funny clip yeah or saying something rude like [ __ ] you or you it’s all the same [ __ ] it is funny how people have a change of heart are you a single guy right now you single guy right now are
Yeah yeah looking for love don’t really know what’s going on but uh also like this I I was touring like crazy get ready for the special then I was in Australia and now I’m like I’m just once this is out I can like pick my head up
And I’m here for like 5 months and I’m like then I can figure out life let’s talk about down under for a minute Australia do you love it you’ve been yeah yeah did I shot a movie that at the beginning of the year holy [ __ ] congrats
Yeah the beginning of this year I’m like what year dude you are booked and busy you’re you’re on I was on a flight the other day I saw I saw a house party oh yeah well dude yeah yeah yeah I did that yeah yeah that was didn’t uh and what do
You think about it let’s pull up IMDb on that no but it’s so cool just like I had fun yeah you’re always it’s fun to pop in on something that’s yeah not yours well dude the risk of like like this movie that I’m that’s coming out next year I I’m in it it’s
Different house party or [ __ ] what was the other one I did Dave I think the show little dick is the actor in it Paradise no that was Charlie’s movie no what was the other thing that that’s so cool you forgetting roles dude I have
Four roles in my life I know all of them well that no these are like small things I do that like it was Tiny like uh no the thing I did in me time with Kevin har and them yeah like but it’s small
It’s so that the onus is not on me is I love that you show up to set you’re in it for a week and you [ __ ] dip yeah have fun and leave that’s why if it doesn’t do well it doesn’t bother me but like this movie coming out next year
Will bother me because it’s I me it’s all you well no it’s not all but I’m like it’s I’m a major I’m one of the three main characters where you shoot it in uh a melbour melbour Melbourne Melbourne yeah mate [ __ ] yeah I liked it out there you know I loved is how
They pronounce certain words like how they how they say tattoo blows my mind tat T yeah tat they just they get the F the T the a the T then just deep Thro where did you spend the most time Sydney Sydney yeah did you like Sydney loved it
I thought it was cool but it’s all just a town in my head it was going to be like the wild Thorn Bears out there like it like some like jungle TR dude it’s just a you got to go into the Outback mate you got to go out and about we went
To Perth did you go there I didn’t go to Western I’m going to go to Perth on this next run we’re doing next year [ __ ] yeah yeah I’m shows are phenomenal did you do stand up when you’re out there shooting or no I just no when I was filming I
Didn’t have any time we were shooting every day and we shot on the [ __ ] weekends which was crazy so we’d have one day off that’s a lot of hard work for Australians cuz they are they needed to shoot the [ __ ] out of this movie we needed to knock it out
Fast they only had a we only had so many days yeah and uh um dude that time how long were you there for two and a half months or something like that [ __ ] you were you around there was a minute where I just stopped seeing you on lineups was that when you were
Shooting it yeah I was down there yeah well I also at the beginning of year I was in New York for a while and then I went to Paris for this weird crazy lineup not in like a disrespectful way work yeah no no no it was it was New
York and then Paris and then Paris I came right back here for 2 days and then I went to Australia for 2 and a half months holy [ __ ] so I was gone for a really long time and then the moment I got back we left again uh so it was kind
Of yeah the beginning of the first half of the year was that jet lag is unreal it was kind of wild yeah I lost my mind a little bit it’s kind of unreal I had a little bit of a break a little psychotic break really well I was there for two I
I literally was in the United States you’re trying to communicate it was nuts it was just two I went Paris oh I went New York Paris Paris New York New York La for 2 days packed and then left so when I landed and the day I landed I had
To go to work like I had to go to a fitting and um do these reads and all this stuff and then that night H [ __ ] I had like a little bit of a psychotic break I went to go get something to eat and I was like I’m in [ __ ] I’m so far
Away from home like it [ __ ] me up for a second like I called my wife and I was like I’m a little [ __ ] up I’m not going to lie I felt freaked out always was so fast yeah I did shrooms in Amsterdam over the summer that was fun
But then I looked at Google Map don’t do that if you’re on shrooms I’m like dude I’m so [ __ ] far from home if you die yeah yeah going fly my body or I’m going to get buried to amam what next to Red Light District hell yeah dude yeah not a
Bad place and Trevor Wallace right here Trevor Wallace did you go to the red light uh did yeah did you get one you got a little friendly I you can be honest about it it’s not that big of a de I opened up a door cuz I was looking
For my friend and I came out uh not a virgin anymore mhm good for you I lost it I lost it in Amsterdam first time I went to Amsterdam I saw that I I we went down to the red light district does it BL your mind it’s just there yeah it’s
Just yeah but but like if you think it’d be more hidden it was like being on Venice Beach and it’s just like smoke shop Kebab shop tits like it was just like it was just it wasn’t like hidden at all no I I mean I thought the freedom
Of it was kind of cool it was like yeah it was awesome do it or don’t that’s kind how how it feels there um I couldn’t I genuinely don’t have the balls to do it I was I had friends that did and I was like I can’t I can’t uh
And they were like it’s legal here I’m like I know dude but I just I don’t I don’t know M brain cannot comprehend Amsterdam it it’s legal here is the same as like when someone’s at a buffet and they’re like it’s all free and you’re
Like all right you don’t have to eat all of it just cuz it’s there you need crab legs at 9:00 a.m. yeah but I need to and sky and pizza yeah so I I didn’t I couldn’t have done it cuz I was too I
Just was like I don’t I don’t want to do it watching guys go in and out so the first night it was me and Michael people watching is great the people watching was the funny blow did Blau get a little uh friendly blow got ripped off hilarious my experience was like right
Down the middle very hey what’s up it was cool Seaman good exchange he got ripped off and they kept asking for more and more money and then after a certain amount of time they’re like ah well your time’s up like you have 20 minutes and it’s 19 minutes he
Comes back to a bar fuming he’s got the shortest temper maybe of anybody I’ve met but I love him hotthead so he’s back there like [ __ ] 200 and I paid for I was like dude go here go go do it you know he’s going to he obviously paid
He’s mad about losing your money yeah but that’s EX exactly yeah he was like um uh how much was it how much how much was your I he end up spending $400 nothing happened what was your event how much was your 200$ 20000 bucks 200 bucks
Good God but uh he came I feel like that’s crazy cheap for some reason yeah two2 200 US dollars so is it there yeah am that’s like or something but but he came back fuming like so mad CU he’s such a control guy he’s like I don’t you don’t
Rip me off Fu and he’s just like yelling [ __ ] and he was so mad I was like dude you you can’t let this be your One Amsterdam experience let’s find you we’ll find you one yeah so we took a yeah we we got him back out took another
Walk yeah and then he came back biggest smile ever but the people watching is hilarious because you’d watch a guy go in there we sat at a bar across from one just having a few beers and then you’d see this guy walk out big smile slightly glistening a little bit like a cinnamon
Glaze M God damn it it’s hilarious now when you go in there you don’t have to get too detailed but when you go in there go that is there like a menu the No it’s it’s they just say hey this is it you yeah everything is orally
You know what I mean but she walked in she’s like cuz I was like how does this work and she’s like uh you give me $200 and we do this and I was like all right wow that’s a great look very like the experience was like couldn’t have been
Like McDonald’s yeah what do you want this that’s all we have come on everything was beeping in the background too there’s a fry Chef in back smoking dog and she’s blowing you she just like somebody take those fries out at please please complimentary fries on the way
Out is over so take me back down to Australia you you went Sydney Perth Melbourne Perth Auckland you do New Zealand I didn’t do New Zealand Adelaide I did not did you do Sydney Perth Melbourne Brisbane Brisbane yeah Brisbane now what did you like the most
Be honest which city was the most fun the most fun the Sydney crowd was awesome they were great syy pretty Perth is a really cool City it’s like the most isolated city in the world allegedly well it’s way out there it’s way out there but they’re not like they’re on
The other side of Australia nobody neighbors them and then they’re not within like 5 hour flight of anywhere yeah it takes from Sydney to Perth flight it was what it’s like four hours and it’s like LA to uh New York Chicago New York yeah yeah it’s going blows my
Mind that AUST I mean in my head Australia is the size of Hawaii like I’m an idiot like in my head I was like wait I didn’t look at the travel schedule so big I was like doing so much that that I didn’t like pack before the the the trip
Before the night before I didn’t really know what was going on I was like all right wait why is there a 5H hour flight where are we going they’re like this is is the other side of Australia it is wild but it’s it’s a massive yeah it’s a
Big big [ __ ] country what else did I like the Eastern side is a little bit closer it’s easier to get from exactly syney to Melbourne and all that stuff I didn’t I dude I am so dumb they were like yeah you pass Hawaii to get here I
Was like what I thought you had to go like past New York in my head everything is East yes dude like like like America like anything left it’s just a brick wall it’s Truman Show it’s just done it falls off yeah well it is flat it is
Very very flat The World is Flat we flat earthers here on Whiskey Ging we yes we are baby yeah you believe what you want to believe look in the Horizon dude know the truth know the truth the frogs are gay no but I I I know what you mean I
There was I do get the thought that you’re like which way is quicker but yes obviously blows my mind West is it’s so long to get there the shows were great the food was food it was food food was good didn’t go to Tasmania did you no
Missed out man that’s where I heard they do incest there rad yeah that’s where it started really yeah that’s HQ yep that’s that is the version one that’s the beta of incest start there no Tasmania is actually Hobart is where the some of the original penal colonies were and you can
Go to like where the first first people were shipped down uh to be in jail some societies as ancient Egypt brother sister father daughter mother son cousin cousin aunt nephew other combinations royal family married as a means of uh perpetuating the Royal lineage at this point uh makone is just Googling the
Word incest and he’s really interested in it I thought that was going to add to our story but it did nothing but he just didn’t know what the word incest I was curious to know where incest started it’s at home at right here dude inside it’s calls are coming from inside the
House inside No but but the original penal cot is kind of wild you see where like the original prisons were but the funniest part about it is they’re rad really imagine if someone’s like I’m going to banish you out to an island yeah and you’re this is punishment this
Is prison but then you get there you’re like this a [ __ ] tropical island there was one in Sydney on the outskirts kind of like right we’re on this boat and it was just a isolated very very small island right smaller than epes I haven’t been but it’s just it’s a just a
Just a castlin and like oh that used to be a prison I was like dude 360 views of the water the opera house it’s beautiful yeah what’s wrong with this lock me up Daddy yeah no some of these some of these original colonies were like really beautiful little areas it was kind of
Crazy and the Tasmanian devil you know the little Tasman devil the reason that they call it that is cu they I sacrificed one in my third special you do yeah well don’t tell anybody yeah sorry sorry uh the Tasmanian devil would scream in the middle of the night and
When these people first came to the island non-indigenous people obviously they thought it was uh the souls and ghosts of the dead so they thought it was a they thought it was they these things are listen that’s what they listen that’s what they look like when they [Applause]
[ __ ] so imagine imagine that sound at night coming from the trees and that’s all you hear when you pull up on a [ __ ] boat immediately you’re like let’s get the [ __ ] out here yeah how do you not leave let’s get the [ __ ] well a lot a lot of people were afraid that
There was dead dead uh the ghosts and The Souls of the Dead they thought were like inhabiting part of the island God damn that’s why it’s got a little Tasmanian Devil cuz it’s a dark it looks like 10 animals in one dude that thing is actually incredibly red that thing’s
Jaw is is so [ __ ] strong it’s insane when the guy went to go feed it look at the jaw strength of look at that yeah I couldn’t finish nice cuz I was so interested in the stats did you see koalas down there yeah [ __ ] yeah dude
Did you smell one they smell like [ __ ] well I don’t know I don’t know if I smelled it I just I touch petted it yeah there was one we were like right next to dude it smell terrible really that’s so funny I I mean I didn’t know the
Kangaroos are wild because dope they just don’t give a [ __ ] no they do their own [ __ ] you go right up to them and they’re they’re kind of bugged out that you’re in their space yeah it feels very like all right man act like you’ve been here before oh cool kangaroo I punch I
Get it did you eat one no I wanted to it was delicious I heard I I had I actually really enjoyed it it was I had a were like you got to have you got to try little kangaroo me it was very [ __ ] good yeah but these oh look see these
Guys the jaw strength of these Tasmanian devils is absurd God damn for its size it’s the strongest bite the possible but it rips through bone like butter because their their their jaw is this is the strongest part of all their muscles in the front of their face I did not see any these
Little guys no they were rap but they FedEd a carcass and they in it dude he threw it to him but they’re slow they’re not fast oh really and he was like a you’re probably wondering why I’m thr throwing it and walking away cuz if he’ll get a hold of your [ __ ] hand
He’ll rip it clean off and I was like really he’s like he’ll rip your [ __ ] hand clean off your body yeah I was like holy [ __ ] I mean you you did watch the way they consume it’s creepy yeah dude this is what my first grade teacher
Should have been showing us s in a mouse what the [ __ ] is this yeah didn’t God that’s C I didn’t see any of these didn’t see any you know what they look like rodents of unusual size from uh from The Princess Bride yeah they they look that’s what they look like do you
Ever you remember that movie Princess Bride yes oh such a good flick such a good flick the rodents of unusual size yeah they they uh they kind of look like a rat that’d be in like Ninja Turtles or something like that’s a big yeah it’s a
Little baby Splinter yeah so now okay so now the special’s out are you doing uh are you doing a new a new hour you’re touring with right now are you still tour I’m not a tour right now uh the plan is to go back out plan is like stay
In La for some months build it up you know get something I’m happy with get at least like 30 new yeah and then go work yeah then go to some clubs and see where that takes me uh uh yeah I mean I’m just excited to be here take some meetings
Try to pitch a couple things I love what you do you you’re like you pop in do a came on a thing or you’re like you know reoccurring role and then you know you tore bad friends and you tore yourself and like I feel like you’re so good at
Playing The Duality of traditional and also like just main form media mainstream media yeah mainstream media I’m try I’m trying I mean I still because I still do like acting and all that stuff I mean and you’re a great actor I mean honestly like what people
People can see what you do just by the sketches that you create that you’re writing producing them directing them and acting them and the characterization that you’re able to do I mean dude look you’re going to have a [ __ ] long long good career just the problem is with
What we do is uh we used to rely on them and now we don’t have to so it’s nice to go back over there sometimes but it’s so much better to keep creating your own [ __ ] yeah I never want to leave the online audience and that for you you
Can’t do you because you built it it’s yours it’s they can’t shake that Audia you know whereas Hollywood and any of that stuff very unpredictable it’s so quick for them to be like we don’t like this guy and you’re like what I thought you guys
That guy like n dude [ __ ] that guy we don’t like him anymore yeah and there’s also so many people making that decision there’s like 40 people like behind a show and if one person’s like I’m kind of out on Santino it’s like you know they and that’s just at a lunch for some
Reason you know like you’re sitting across from him yeah he’s like where’s the walnuts and the salad we don’t like you anymore but but you’re going to keep moving at such a [ __ ] a lightning Pace I think uh you’re Off to the Races and then I hope uh uh people go enjoy
The special and go watch it right now it’s available onon Prime you don’t have Amazon Prime get it just for this or wait three years and I’ll put it on my YouTube after dude just get it if you don’t have by the way bet if you have a
Prime account where you ship [ __ ] to your house that’s you get now your free video yeah that’s yeah that’s well how many people are on Amazon Prime let me find out what are the stats you’re one of the people that’s not on it shock yeah it’s insane my house is like an
Amazon warehouse the fact literally 200 million Amazon Prime members all those people are going to watch my special isn’t that crazy they better dude they better I love Amazon Prime the fact that I want be like I want an air fryer it shows up tomorrow amazing yeah it it is
A little scary how quickly I needed these high power magnets like little uh I was replacing something and I needed high power magnets and I literally ordered it in the morning being like I’ll get to it tomorrow and it got to my house that that afternoon it makes other
Shipping look horrendous like 5 to seven business days I’m like what is this Lucy what are you what are business are you relapsing where are you like dude I’ve saw I’ve seen an Amazon truck at 1 p.m. like they when have you seen a UPS truck pass 3:00 p.m. doesn’t exist they’re out
There working hustling and busting on that Bezos Buck on that Bezos Bezos just moved to Miami did he really yeah him and Messi running it up how much did Messi get to go to Miami what was that something crazy but I just found this out God bless him by the way when you’re
Done over there it’s nice to come over here and cash out 15 mil or something but 60 million a year Jesus but he gets uh equity in the team right they gave him a piece of it which is like so much bigger than people realize this is like
A billion dollar deal essentially good for that uh Messi reached 1.6 with that’s his career earnings with a Miami MLS that’s kind of cool though that you can kind of like say good night over there gracefully come over here and make some coin I mean what’s his name was the
First one to do that right Beckham was the first got to come over there and make some coin and then went back then made a movie benett like Beckham is that him that’s not him no that’s Amanda bin spitballing I don’t know who that is I
Saw man B I don’t know it sounds I saw Mana bin in Toronto one time she had a face tattoo it’s a heart right here I know she got she Slipped Away a little bit but I think she got sober right and she came back I think she got it all
Together again I mean she was like a one of those childhood Disney stars who kind of had like an infinite amount of growth and room to become like you know a a movie star or whatever show I mean holy [ __ ] this just shows you sometimes the uh uh sometimes [ __ ] Hollywood will
Get you don’t don’t uh don’t let it get you baby I’m not don’t take that extra meting hey I’ve been here oh what’s that mean they’ll they’ll say they go Trevor there’s an extra meeting don’t go to an extra meeting is that how you sell your
Soul to the devil I’m not going to talk about it right have you done it was it easy process do you need paperwork imagine if I just started levitating right now like doat s soul to the devil I’m like how does it funny there are people that genuinely believe that there
Is a room in Hollywood as a thing that happens that is a it’s like innen I kind like you started laughing what happened do you know about it no no no dude we’ll be right back after the sponsor from Satan uh promo code 666 yeah I do like that like they sold the
Show of the devil it’s like I would love where is it I’ll sign up sounds cool what do you mean I would love to do that look it’s 2023 can I have a three-month trial um yeah let me get in and get out this is Spotify baby let me get that
Premium it’s a subscription service to sell your soul to the devil yeah check it out real quick I I mean who Robert Johnson he’s the first guy that sold his soul to the devil that’s what they say he sold a soul to the devil what’s the
Song The Devil Went Down to Georgia is that him no no no no song Char that was Charlie Daniels you knew that quick but Robert Johnson sold his soul to devil apparently and uh and could play guitar better than anybody else but prior to selling his soul could never play a lick
Sold his soul and became one of the great greatest guitars of all time so they say you know who else is like that John Mayor John Mayer didn’t know how to play the guitar sold a sold to the devil now he’s opening up [ __ ] he’s doing
Deaden company there’s a lot of guys I can name like this that sold their soul to the devil that didn’t have any Talent before any of your uh comic friends you know hell yeah dude so many Theo oh Theo I think he might be an investor yeah I
Think he’s he’s got rights down there he’s from Brazil like all the southern thing that he does it’s such a good Southern Brazil yeah yeah it’s all a bit I mean there’s a lot of guys that have done it um but and I can’t wait for it
To happen is the funniest thing ever been like the you know man the negoti with the devil yeah dude I mean give me [ __ ] three to five and I’ll try dude you know it’s a little warm but make it work dud I once knew a
Guy who was born in an air fryer so this ain’t too weird for me I love Theo that guy’s the he’s one of the greatest dude he’s genuinely one of the greatest not just Comics but people great I love him his rise is uh his rise is appropriate
As is yours genuinely you and Theo like kind of the same thank you man are you and Theo in the same like kind of class LA class you say yeah kind of a little bit I mean not really yeah who are some of the guys in your class and I mean
Like fahem anoir is my oldest friend in comedy he’s I would say he’s my literal class me him Rick Glassman kind of all were Brewing at the same time me him Rick Glassman Brent morren that was kind of my class of guy so to speak um but a
Lot of my class was New York guys that I met you know like the tanos and Sam Morel and uh and Norman and we had all met at like festivals and all that stuff so as we all started to grow in our own cities it was cool to like watch that’s
Awesome them get get up and me get up were you doing stand up in Chicago or just New York no I started out here oh this was my first my first standup spot was here in fact I told that to the Improv last night at the party oh The
Improv was the first club that passed me really first club that passed me in fact you know what’s so [ __ ] crazy the guy the interviewer said that he goes oh that’s [ __ ] cool and I said you know what’s insane I bet you and I I still
Have the email I have the email from read it or somebody else no Eric Abrams at the time was booking it yeah and I have it right here look at this 1016 which is my birthday you know how crazy that is on my birthday 2009 I still have
The email hey please see your set time down below oh what’s the lineup on that uh this is kind of great I think I read this one other time so I was October 24th 11:30 it was a show at back then at the Improv called chunks and punks and
And $10 I don’t know if we got paid $10 or that was the ticket price was $10 but it says 10 bucks on it it was a guy named Will C who hosted it uh then me I had my first spot 10 minutes that was first
Right yeah but at 11:30 that’s not bad they’re already boozed up 11:38 yeah it’s actually true Saturday late show then it was Tony Vin Sean Kelly Alex Moore Chris nef and then the two names you’ll probably recognize Ryan sickler and Darren Carter yeah Ryan sickler and Darren Carter Got The Late Late spot
That 1228 and 1238 now one would say you know those guys were the were getting better spots but also that late that’s tough yeah but look at this I did the pay breakdown uh this is really funny they send you they sent me a PDF saying yeah the hosts are going to get
$35 check this out 10 to 14 minutes set Sunday through Thursday get $7.50 literally a gallon of gas that’s crazy $7.50 15 minutes sets a Monday through Thursday uh booked headliner gets $15 what and if you got a Friday and Saturday you get $25 check yeah it’s
Crazy here’s my favorite too this is really great uh comic paychecks for performances of the Hollywood improv may be used as cash at the front bar hey you were allowed to use your D Buster bucks right there the funniest is and and I think this is uh [ __ ] wild Flappers
Used to make you sign a contract that you were getting zero dollars they used to make you sign a paper be like hey just let you know this is a free spot but sign here wait really Z headlining it’s a different but like it used just
Be like if you were doing like a five minute set on like you know how they book like 20 comics on it yeah they like here okay you want to do this date Here sign this to say you’re in and it was like a contract and it’ be like amount
Paid zero and you would sign it that’s so [ __ ] that’s so rude well there’s a bar here in the valley called residuals uh and uh if you could bring a check of Z and a residual check for $ z0 you get a free drink and they used to
Staple it to the ceiling I don’t know if it’s still there are they still doing it I don’t know if they’re still doing that but you us to be able to give them a residual check and if it was z z fun you get you get some boost and they would
Keep they used to keep the checks back in the day do you get some from old ass [ __ ] like maybe like Punk or something that’s like point you know three cents yeah I the the funniest check I get is is about 2 cents every 6 months for a
Show called uh uh code n it was a hidden camera Disney show I got hired uh hidden camera on Disney yeah that sounds a little illegal yeah yeah yeah I’m your real dad it was nuts it was uh [ __ ] code n and when you get those I mean are you
Cashing a a three cent oh it’s on Prime it’s on Prime watch that right after you watch pterodactyl yeah yeah so are you get are you cashing that check no it’s a direct deposit into into like a into a cuz I got a check recently for $10 and I
Just like I don’t have it in me to cash it and I’m not even likeing out money $10 but why don’t you just direct deposit it from the they direct deposit for you now this is this isn’t residual this is for a show oh oh for something
You did oh for stand up here you go man like to pull out my Chase app and find the right background you can do I promise you can do it God but I don’t want to well do you have a producer or a guy that does the podcast with you guys
Yeah yeah yeah make him do it then yeah true that’s him I make him do sorts of crazy [ __ ] yeah he doesn’t have a top of his head what is this here uh this is code N9 on Disney yeah go down yeah my good buddy Mark herwick Golf and gas I
Think the yeah snow globe surprise that’s the one I get this before after Punk uh almost simultaneously oh really no no no sorry right after punk I did 10 or 11 I don’t remember what year it was yeah dud we watched that on flagrant recently me and Michael were watching
One with like you and blow in the same episode yeah it’s crazy to look at he got flown off from New York I remember they’re like bringing in this kid from New York well I remember he said he moved to LA after that he was like that
Was like the show and everyone in La is like dude this guy’s on [ __ ] or he was in New York at the time I think yeah he was yeah he moved to LA yeah they were like dude this guy this big this is like a big thing it was a big deal to
Move massive there was no social media like Punk was the thing yeah it was funny so I so I uh that check I get three cents legitimately every six or seven months because they play it on a Disney I’m baby those are my people paying your bills thank you so honestly
To me I want to say thank you so much man and I hope people keep I hope Prime keeps paying your bills I hope they give you 10 more specials you explode and you get so big that we just don’t talk yeah I hope you get so big that we just don’t
Talk please I want to take up three spots in your guys lot I’m going to park just parallel and vertically at the same time I don’t know how to do that I’m just going to God bless dude I hope they do your favorite dinosaur of all time pterodactyl go watch pterodactyl right
Now on Amazon uh and if you don’t know how to spell pterodactyl Trevor Wallace is an easier way to get there yeah the guys on are you garbage both of them thought it started with a t so yeah have you met those guys those are those are those are Middle School dropouts uh
Shout out to aru garbage probably some of two of the funest students I know all right big dog we end the episode the same way I love you I really do appreciate you you’re a great dude a very funny comedian um and a sexy sexy
Cat and uh I wish continued success as I see you as we go on because you you are genuinely one of the good ones um we end the episode the same way you look at that camera right there uh you end the episode with one word or one phrase and
I’ll say something before you say that please go watch pterodactyl on Amazon support the comics so we can keep doing this thing uh one word or one phrase into that camera whenever you’re ready bsy in here we pour whisk whisk whisk whisk whisk you were that creature in
The ginger beard sturdy and ginger like them the ginger Jean is a cur gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers F
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