Yo what’s goody fam welcome back to the human behavior Mastery podcast this a podcast about leveraging psychology tapping into mindset um so you can create a Better Business a better life and ultimately a better you um as you can see you know what I mean we in a we
In a different spot different vibe and uh I have I got family with me uh I got family with me here so um yeah this is this going to be a a a very interesting I feel like it’s going to a very intimate uh episode um so I
Guess I should say I want to say like 2014 I I got into uh this work so if y’all see me now sorry if y’all see me now um this is cool but like there was the other version of me before I got here and
Uh and I have I have one of um my mentors along that Journey here with me um and also one of my my sisters in the work and we just going to have a conversation about the work but also how it’s impacted Us and how that work we’re
Looking to bring to the community at large um so yeah I got my brother Jeremy here Disney how you feel hey hey how you doing happy to be here yes long time coming right what I didn’t know was we’ve been planning to do this for a little second
But um God’s timing Divine timing for a whole lot of reasons absolutely um but yeah I want to say so for me right and we’ll just free flow but for me Um I got I started the work in like 2014 mhm I started the work in 2014 uh fun fact so Jeremy was Jeremy was a part of uh the team that did the work for me like the facilitation team one of my coaches right uh and I’m
Just using language that you know y’ so y’all understand we not talking about no covert operation nothing crazy I was going to say what do you mean by the work like people are familiar with that language no but we get you know what we get into
Um so for me I want to say I’m maybe date myself but I 27 I was 27 I was working on I was working in corporate um was still in my first marriage no actually I wasn’t I don’t know that I was married no I wasn’t married yet
Um but I was in a I was I hit a ceiling like I was like everything was cool and then life hit like oh what’s this there’s no more momentum it’s like when you get caught in the snow and your tires are spinning and nothing is happening MH and I
Remember I was about to go home and my sister called me and I’m not going to tell yall what she calls me but she called me she was like be vulnerable know you got to you you got to I I I I want to invite you somewhere and
I need you to come and just trust me and I’m like what are you talking about I don’t so she invited me to um an intro night and I met everybody and I just was like something something just clicked and I was like oh I needed this right so
It it’s you discovered that at the intro night yeah like I was like this was this is like I don’t know what’s happening in here uhhuh and you know y’all know I’m I’m I’m I’m a good person but I ain’t like this the warmest person so I’m just
Kind of like what’s what’s going on in here um but you know I got into the work and I would I would say that that intro night was the beginning of me finding like the truest version of myself and me giving myself permission to be the truest version of myself mhm
Um I feel like that was like the the beginning of the Inception of me in a lot of ways right I get it uhhuh and so um yeah I think I’m trying not to you know it’s a it’s it’s very moving for me in hindsight as I’m thinking through
Everything um I think you got started the same I did I um and I I remember your uh um initial Workshop was in June and I know because IID finished leadership the the the week prior and I actually started in January of that year you went yeah right into it right into
It so you had no rest no rest because I I was clear I remember sitting um Sunday morning of the very first workshop and I remember just amazed at what I just experienced over the weekend keep in mind you know different for you or different from you rather I came in
Kicking and Screaming cuz I did not want to give up four days of my weekend Thursday yeah Thursday night all the way to to Sunday and um but by Sunday morning I was just like I’m amazed at what I just experience and I know that
I’m supposed to be doing this work so as soon as I finished leadership that was an opportunity to jump into um coaching that next weekend and I said absolutely got you Dy what about you what did you get started 2018 okay mhm you got some seasoning yeah you got some seasoning um
Yeah 2018 and I I was um influenced by a family member I was living in Minnesota at the time so and in a rut I don’t even know if you call it a rut to be honest it was we don’t call it a rut here but I
Know yeah it was it was a dark space and I was like exactly what you described just like hit that wall and um so I didn’t get like an intro night because I just took the advice of someone oh you just jumped yeah I had a cousin that
Came in town she lives in New York and she was like you should I’m getting a Vibe I feel like you should have an experience and I just trusted it you know I was in such a weird space that at that point it was like I’ll do anything
To get out of this so took a flight and had had four days you know in a life-changing experience about about a leap of faith man so y’all are probably listening like what are y’all what are you talking about I don’t even we like I don’t know
What y’all talking about but I guess if I had to describe it to somebody it would um the the the style of coaching would be like transformational MH coaching um so transformational coaching um through experience through so with others I think that’s a big part of it okay so let’s let’s put the
Language together together right um so it’s it’s transformational coaching in a group setting uh through experiential learning MH um with the support of a facilitator and supporting coaches absolutely right um depending on you come from and maybe call something different but I’m just trying to give a basic
Um understanding of what it is for somebody who it may be completely foreign too um for the ones that are familiar with the work you already know which time it is you know I mean if you know you know right but um yeah for me it for I’ve I’ve been blessed
To build a platform and build a business and and do work um in a way that resonates with people in a certain way and I for me I don’t and I’m and I’m working on it cuz for me it’s just being myself
But I but I think I I I I would be lying if I said that the me going through the work didn’t have an influence on just my approach to life to people to myself mhm and it permeates through everything that I do mhm so for some of y’all who have met me
Or been in contact with me in any way shape or form my style I think I’ve always kind of been a chill person I’m more on a reserve end but my style the way that I teach um and it being very much um by doing and getting your hands dirty and going through
Exercise I learned it going through and then being able to facilitate it on the other end right and I and I think for all of us we’ve had a similar Journey absolutely um but you are you know the Elder Statesman because you started your work first right and so yeah um what
What is it about the work that one made you go through the work but also want to facilitate the work and then begin your own platform absolutely um the main thing would just be the results when you look at the results that people are able to accomplish and when I talk about
Results you know I can look at it at two different levels the internal results you know a lot of times we have those conversations in our heads or those thoughts that we have that prevent us from acting or moving or things of that nature so it’s really given the
Opportunity to um to look deep inside and see you know why it is I have this belief of I’m not good enough or I’m not worthy or whatever the belief may be for each person and once you are able to go in and actually do some work and see
Immediate shifts I can say as I’m able to go in and do some work with individuals and see immediate shifts that lets me know right off there that you know this work is needed is actually making an impact in people’s lives and it’s doing so at at at a an expedited
Rate but that’s just the beginning of it cuz when you can see that shift start to occur in the room and then you’re working with individuals to actually apply it in their lives and now they’re coming back with the tangible results you know I was able to receive that
Promotion I was able to you know I it’s I spoke with my mom to to tell her I I forgive her and I love her and I haven’t spoken to her in 5 years when you see those type of interactions it’s just like yeah you know the work is
Purposeful and is actually making a real life impact in people’s lives and as long as you know it’s doing that is something that I’m committed to how was it for you Disney um well I don’t facilitate it but I definitely am a preacher of it like I’ll I I encourage
People to get involved and take a risk because sometimes that’s just all you need is to do something different without knowing all the uh details um and then I don’t know being in a space and trusting others and seeing others do it with you mhh yeah it’s it’s something
That I’m I tell everyone in my life to experience absolutely what was what would you say your greatest result was ooh I would say um I I can’t answer that because it’s it’s just being it’s always happening it’s always like it’s not one thing it’s
Like being is yeah I guess so I mean it’s yours right I’m just it’s it’s who I became and um it’s not like I walked out of the room immediately all that I could be but it was the start like you said tell me about about that moment
When did it click for you like what was like do do you remember I know for me I remember the exact moment in each phase like when was when at what moment did it click like oh like you had one of those aha moments um personally sitting sitting there on day
One just being in the room yeah because I had come from a totally different culture like I was in a room with a lot of black folks which is not something that I was used to um and I just remember being like like not even hearing what was being said and just feeling
Like I like the the um what is it it’s that feeling of when you know that you just because you chose something is different so it was that moment the first moment of just like wow I really chose this for myself like what was it for
You so for me so keep in mind I came in Kicking and Screaming so the first two days um which is the amazing thing about this work the first two days I was extremely disconnected um I remember um you know doing the very first exercise and there were very
Specific instructions and you know I I I was just I it seemed pointless to me so I didn’t even follow the instructions on the exercise I did my own yeah and then I I remember um being on an elevator with one of the facilitators as I was leaving and she asked so what
Did you think about it and I was like it was okay you know so I came back the next day which was um Friday night and there were a few things that piqu my interest but it it still didn’t hit me like it was hitting other folks at the
Time and I remember getting there on Saturday morning um I was running late you know living in New York City I was living right by Prospect Park um I got to the train station the trains weren’t running by my house this was just another thing to add to this weekend so
Um once I finally got there I was sitting there for about um 10 or 15 minutes um same corner you know back right corner and someone in front of the room was sharing and as they were sharing they were sharing my story and I felt myself started to to tear up a
Little bit and I sucked those tears back in I set up straight and they kept sharing and I felt it a little but I sucked those tears right back in and the next thing you know I’m and crying uncontrollably and one of the staff members you know they’re sitting there
Rubbing my back and shortly afterwards we went on break and I went and called my best friend and I said you know I’m taking this workshop and I realized I have these deep vulnerability issues and he looked at me or he over the phone and he says no [ __ ]
Sherlock but it was that moment that you know I really allowed myself to get into it and what was was happening for me was he was right there were issues with um being vulnerable when putting myself out there and there were opportunities that were literally right in my face but I
Was so concerned about you know looking bad faing at it not really putting myself out there and once I realized and reflected even on that break how that was impacting my life I walked back into that room and from that moment on gave it everything I had for the rest of the
Workshop and and it’s you know things just shifted from there yeah one thing about the work is gonna turn you into a Waterhead I don’t care who you are yes you gonna go in that room you going to cry and not just you going to ugly cry snot rocket like everything it’s going
To be ancestrial you you you going to have a you going to have a shedding in there at one point or another for every for everyone in the room right and side note random I’m be hon doing that taught me to actually let people cry absolutely
Cuz I would say just in my lived experience Somebody’s Crying you try to console them or you somebody shoves the tissue in your face or you know they try that was the first time I learned to respect someone’s moment MH and instead of going to fix it
Letting them have the moment and then being curious about what was like coming up for them in that moment what were they feeling and like being able to explore mhm right I don’t know if you I don’t know if you remember this I remember super random things my memor is just I
Don’t but I you know to that to that point for me I knew there was more and and I lived life you know I I would say I was a a very Advanced gifted so I didn’t really have to give my 100% mhm in my environment my like 70 was
Like the 120 it was the go you know what I mean so I never had to and I I wasn’t um I I would say my relationship with my father was probably one of the biggest um strongholds for me and I was at this point where you know I’m fully a grown
Man I got a you know a family and I’m doing things and I’ve I’ve won but I didn’t feel like it and I was I was in this ju to position of how do I I think you know because I like to think in terms of questions like
How do I be myself but also be respectful to my parents and my culture and the sacrifices and I couldn’t figure out how to do both I felt like I had to do either or and I was living on the on the or side of the equation yeah and that
Was the first time I really was like let me have let me you know the calls let me call and speak to him and my y’all don’t know my pops my pops like first of all get off my phone talking this foolishness cuz somebody told you call me about some
Feelings don’t be calling me about and I’m like see I told y’all should have made this phone call but it it it started the the process of just being aware and a breakthrough and I remember expressing how interesting it was for me to you know my daughter was very little and I
Was going through this struggle of trying to figure out how to be with my emotions and my feelings um and I expressed I think there was some time where you know every you know we went to share and I expressed feeling like a window shop or a window watch emotion
Like I just not like when you walk down fif and you like see it in the window and you like oh that’s that’s nice that’s cool but you never go in you never try it on you don’t buy it you don’t take it home M and that was my
Experience like I I could perspective take got a PhD and perspective take like but I never allowed myself to really like be in it try it on I never tried it on and that was also when I realized the difference between transparency and vulnerability mhm that shift made everything different right transparency
Is like well I can tell you something or I can answer your question and be honest but vulnerability is allowing you to be with me exactly and explore what’s coming up in those experiences and that was the first time I I got to do that and it was different for me because I’m
Not I’m not really that type of guy you know what I mean I do feel deeply but for me to be open and like Bear My Soul with people especially strangers we not doing that so did it continue afterwards oh once I got into it it was like I real
Realized cuz you you tried it on but did you did you keep it on did you oh no I I scuba doed in it I immersed because it was oh this is my this is my way out mhm this is my way out of like darkness that space you were in
Right this is my way out of quicksand and and I didn’t I didn’t think about it then but I like you need Darkness to create light and the shine and so just being that one spark so that that whole year I was on a tear like I I was I was
On everything I remember seeing you yeah you and and not even that whole year cuz you’ve been on it since then oh yeah yeah yeah but I’m just saying that like once I got there uhhuh I like immersed myself in it to where like I had to I
Had to put paws on it because like physically I was like I’m burning out absolutely can I ask you if you experienced um like uh people being indifferent with you because you were new and different you know and you were evolving like yeah I think that was I think that was
The the I saw that happening very quickly mhh so you know previously uh when I when I was previously married just me going to the workshop was threatening so I would just me going was like tense and coming back home there was energy in the crib
And I for me I knew like I need this mhm mhm like I’m going to a job and it’s killing me and I’m not a job person this is destroying meh so I know I’m not coming back with like the best energy but this is Like Oxygen I got to I have
To do this yeah so you going to have to figure out and sort however you feel right now because this is for me MH right because it becomes a tool not just for your own personal development but I become better for everybody else exactly exactly and filtering out people and
Things and jobs and all the considerations in life it just becomes that thing it allowed me to emotionally connect with my daughter wow that so even just hearing that if you didn’t get anything else out of it just that alone man yeah like instead of hearing something
And it going here oh that was sweet it went here first yeah and then it went there and that shifted my entire Paradigm mhm I was able to really like be with somebody in a moment like experience Intimacy in any level of relationship with a person
Right I was I learned how to connect with myself but also how to connect with another person I would also venture to say that I learned how to give my all to life mhm one of the I think one of the most dangerous things that could happen is
Knowing that you’re gifted or knowing that you’re smart and you’re not in an environment that challenges you exactly because you don’t learn how to apply your best all the time mhm and what happens is you become complacent and then you easily become that you know I expected to be further along
Than I am right now and that then becomes a story of of Our Lives yeah and the reality is the environment is going to change you before you change the environment so just being in a space where everybody spoke this language yeah yeah absolutely was a game changer yeah
I and I distinctively remember we was in the uh we was in like the in the in the break room um and it was a Saturday night mhm I was standing here you were standing right here I remember and you said something it it it I was like hm I
Never thought about this you was like what we’re doing here is what you know fraternities and sororities wish they could be the level of connection and feeling MH and I was like you know what I never thought about that absolutely why did yeah where does that come from so
Um yo what’s goody F listen I know I know I’m going let you get back to the episode but I wanted to take a minute to let you know about the human Behavior Mastery course yes we have a course that we put together for coaches Consultants corporate leaders and entrepreneurs I
Know you’re listening to the Pod and it’s all of this numbers and the Adaptive and the natural the D the ey the attributes we put together a comprehensive course to walk you through exactly how to understand each one of the personality types each one of the values and we’re going to show you
Exactly how to get the most out of each type what things you need to avoid what envir ments to put you in and what pieces to put around you to be successful so if you’re looking at taking your business your life or your relationship to the next level make sure
You go check out the human behavior Mastery course back to the episode and and and and I want to you know give credit to all the the fraternities and sororities out there because they are doing really really great work and and I wouldn’t say and as
I’ve I’ve grown in the work I would actually alter that statement um just a little bit um simply because again back then being new energetic in it you know that can be seen as a dict to fraternities and sororities and no it doesn’t it definitely wasn’t said in that Spirit
Absolutely ain’t nobody canceling nobody we not ain’t going to be none of that um but there there’s a level of of unity that’s there um in which you know there’s Brotherhood there’s Sisterhood that are are are created there’s a level of accountability that’s theirs as well like you’re literally just like you said
Just like you said a second ago although you’re doing the work for you you’re really doing the work for the world as well and when you get a a a a group of like-minded individuals who can see their own gifts and see their own talents and see how it’s bigger than
Just them you know how can I use my gifts and talents to not only bring myself up my family up but this person over here this person over here really trying to create a space where everyone can win um a and just seeing that seeing the level of networking that takes place
Within the community um and I’m talking about you know you put a message board I’m looking for this particular job or I’m looking for a person renting this space or renting this house and literally you have people who are ready to jump in and support you no matter
What um that in itself it builds such a level of community and such a level of consistent community to this day nearly 10 years later same individuals who have been supporting me back then who I’m supporting back then we 10 years later we’re still in the game trying to make sure that this
Person has what they need that this person is supported um is really building the community and I love that it’s building the community that really looks like us yeah another way to put it is like um being in a space with heart minded people like you know so easy to find like-minded
People on podcast they’re all over right but to find like heartmind people where it has nothing to do with what you do for a living and how old you are what your race is any of that and but you have that um that same heart you know absolutely it changes everything and it
Definitely is a new way in like building community that is unmatched you can’t get this anywhere else like this is a different it’s family absolutely I’m so I’m going tell you now I’m I’m going to start using heart minded that you you just coin a new term you give her credit
The first time but then after that I I would credit you each and every time I say it uh but yeah you’re right and and what it does it allows us to see the humanity in one another like you literally can see and and I I I use this
Example so often you can see you know someone who’s a college professor sitting next to a college student sitting next to a um person who was firmly incarcerated sitting next to a doctor an 80y old sitting next to a 18y old and you get really get to see as different as we all
Are we still are one common Humanity we all have the same insecurities some of the same challenges and allowing one another to allowing ourselves to see one another that way allows a level of empathy that really heals communities it it brings communities together and I’m
I’m I’m going to be real like mhm it has like changed the way I approach everything I I like need to demonstrate and show right um in order to effectively communicate but also to learn because I don’t and and it’s interesting cuz um me
And me and my wife just went to uh uh a um like we did like meditation right and it it clicked to me and it just clicked as we was just talking learning through experience is the only way to truly know and and learn something so I didn’t abely
So in the same way that like I never thought about using the body like the thing that you are with and connected to and Tethered to as an instrument to teach yourself lessons but I it just clicked that like we were doing that in the work absolutely we were we were
Doing that we were engineering epiphanies and breakthroughs mhm in the room and it was really the first time that like like people with again love and like connection and and vulnerability and all these things like at least for me I would say was intellectualized it’s like I know what
You’re talking about I know what I know what it means when you start doing it mhm it completely changes interacting with it with others it gives it context it gives it it gives it texture absolutely so even the sharing mhm somebody is modeling what it is to be
Vulnerable and you see it and you know it because it hits your body and you have a reaction to it and you’re like okay well right it’s this cycle like wow that just help me well maybe I could share and help somebody else yeah or I just feel open right that’s the
Beautiful part about it you know literally like I say we all are going through these similar experiences and like I say I literally someone was in front of the room at that point I hadn’t said a word the entire workshop and I would have you would have thought from
The reaction I had I was in front of the room sharing because that person spoke to me you know just that well and I’m glad you brought up the experiential nature of it and you’re right you know learning by experience it sticks like I say uh we we never forget
How to ride a bike I may forget half the stuff in my high school Calculus class but I never forget how to ride a bike and so just being able to be a part of the program to where you’re going through these different experiences you’re going through these different
Exercises and these exercises are designed to naturally create those aha Epiphany moments um that’s just it’s another powerful aspect of this work I think I think it’s what makes it unique and different yeah this is there’s been so many times I’ve tried to explain this to people especially like cuz I’ve moved
To New York since then and I’m like God oh man um and I try to like explain the work and the experience and this is this is good this going to help me a lot okay cuz there’s no way to explain what it is because they just think oh it’s a
Workshop oh okay you know and it’s not just it’s not just listening and and talking exactly so let yeah let’s tap into that because I think there is there is a a negative connot I’m not going to label it negative but there there is something that comes to
Mind when people hear the word Workshop judg around training and what would you say I mean cuz we’re trying to use language that conveys uh in a way because people haven’t experienced it but how would you explain it to somebody you you haven’t been immersed in the work in the way
That you are facilitated the work you know organized you know like how would you communicate that to somebody who has no clue what they could be stepping into I’m always so curious absolutely the pressure um and I I will say this before I get started um you know I’ve been
Doing this work for for nearly 10 years now and I think I do a pretty good job in explaining what is incredible amazing thank thank you you know I I I can probably’s very humble very modest very yes there y’all go um but I I can probably explain it better than most but
I still don’t think I do justice into explaining the experience that you’re going to get um but it’s it’s a series of workshops and and it’s really doing a lot of the internal work that leads to the external results in our lives um so the first Workshop which is called the
Basic Workshop is 4 days to look in the mirror to see all the wonderful things that’s working about life and then seeing the things that may not be working as we want them and giv tools to really shift that conversation and it’s a very in-depth in introspective experience you’re really going to look
In the mirror you’re going to look at the beliefs you have about yourself about the world um specifically those limiting beliefs sometimes conscious sometimes not conscious are you’re going to look at your Rel relationship with trust your relationship with Integrity with responsibility you’ll look at the place from which you’re making your
Choices you will look at your relationship with winning in life and you will even see how your parents and your upbringing have on the decisions that you’re making today you know again where the subconscious consciously yeah which is a a big part every every Workshop a huge part and you get a
Chance to become clear of what it is what you want in life and if I had to simplify it even further is is really looking at how the past whether consciously or subconsciously informed the decisions that you’re making today you know we all have these um traumatic experiences traumatic on very different
Levels it can be some of the you know most obvious horrific things that most people would agree um it’s traumatic but it can even be something as simple as you know I was asked a question in second grade I raised my hand the had the wrong answer the entire room laughed
And now I am you know 20 30 years later I’m sitting in the meetings with the answers but I’m refusing to raise my hand to put myself out there and us being able to link it back to that instance where it first started but then give him tools to to Really shift that
Conversation as well and I I you know anytime I use an example like that that’s something that actually took place in the room and you know when you can see how you know from that particular instance I developed a a belief of I don’t matter or I’m not
Worthy I’m not enough and again linking it to the current and the the most valuable piece is it creates the awareness around it so with the awareness you can actively work to to shift that belief and I mean I know I’m a little long-winded on this one but if
We to take it even a step further that’s that internal work yeah so now that you know we’re working to shift that belief how does a belief of I am enough you know show up when you’re going into that job interview or when you’re going out
On that date or whatever it may be that has a direct impact on how you show up which is going to have a direct impact on the results that you have in your life yep oh yeah let me just say this I cried I’m not a Waterhead like that okay
There are very few things in my life especially at that time that is going to make me cry mhm I legit was in there ugly crying like tyres what morning I was ugly crying in prepar to be exhausted like uh the tissue Angels okay tissue angels I was in there and it it
Was you know for me I would say you you start to understand in a real way what awareness is M absolutely and you’re you for the first time um literally and figuratively are looking in the mirror at yourself MH yep you slow down enough to see who you are
MH and then we start to ask questions around what do we see and why do we see what we see right and um even the language that we use to try to describe things like um I was introduced to the the the the The Duality or the the relationship between trust and well
Abundance and scarcity right in an experiential way and so I I remember being like eight I remember being eight I was not older than nine and my father telling me question everything even me get the answers for yourself mhm right and powerful and I in hindsight it was my father I was like
Okay cool but in hindsight I I don’t I didn’t realize the effect that that had on me mhm so this is a so you’re a person I’m supposed to trust and you’re telling me not to trust you and to question things and you’re not perfect you’re flawed and you make mistakes so I
Need to vet and it created a a a it created a skepticism it created a a side eye like a spiritual side eye for me almost like just with everything with everybody I started vetting instead of being got it got it and I and I you know you you don’t project
Anything that doesn’t exist with you mhm so you know my relationship with my father to that point was all was even to that point was like me trying to to assess where I was with him or what my relationship was to him or did he like me or did he like
Uh like was I doing the right thing as a boy as a you know just always trying to figure out like is this what I’m supposed to be doing mhm and just who he is based on his lived experience being very stoic in like a few words and like
Gotcha yeah you know and so navigating that and now you tell me not to trust you your your words to me carries so much weight that it permeates through my being and everything that I do so now I’m sitting in the room and people are telling me well you should do this and
Then I’m like well actually I’m not going to do that cuz right you know I don’t and I and I would say it stuck with me to I did I wouldn’t I wouldn’t show up in a room I wouldn’t express myself or speak to people in a
Room until I felt like I could trust the space until I felt like I knew what was going on or what was happening and being in those those workshops being especially the the first um being in in basic was like well where did that come from or
Why does this play out this way and also humanizing my parents in a way where absolutely I’m able to take them off the pedestal of being my father or my mother and saying let me just look at you as a person yes absolutely realizing that
Like you’re on a journey the same way I am yep and it just so happens that part of your journey is being my parent it isn’t the fullness of your journey absolutely and so let me start to familiarize myself with some of your experiences so that I can understand why
Our interactions were that way mhm and it was the beginning of the beginning for me it humanizes your parents through the the work that you do in reflecting on your parents but also in seeing your parents and other people and your friends I didn’t even think I didn’t
Even think about that cuz I’m in a room full of people like for me I had a very unique experience I I feel like because I was in a room full of people that looked like me like doing this work and that was something different to you that
Different because where I’m from there’s not a whole lot of us so especially in this type of environment so I’m seeing my friends my cousin my uncle my auntie you know I’m seeing versions of them and understanding and humanizing them more instead of um it kind of just stripped
The Judgment that I had of them because I I was literally imagining like my auntie you know when someone would share and I’m like yo I never thought that that would ever be a perspective you know I I’m just living in the Judgment of it on the other side of it and so
That part it’s a powerful part even um looking at yourself and your parents and realizing okay if I’m sitting here I’m doing this work and I’m having all this stuff come come up for myself and like you all both just said just kind of looking at your parents not as the
Parent or the people they have a lot of the same fears a lot of the same insecurities that I’m having and I’m seeing how challenging it is to navigate life you know and they’re they’re navigating their own lives on top of being a parents and allows you to to
Just look at it from a totally different perspective so even like looking in a larger conversation when it comes to forgiveness when it comes to Healing especially inside of families you know it it’s a it’s it creates that space to where I love I like to say where you’re
Not just kind of conceptually talking about it but you’re actually having the opportunity and being challenged like you said to go have these conversations to create these this space to where you know I’m seeing my parents I’m letting my parents know I see them you know and
And we can have the dialogues to address what needs to be addressed to heal what needs to be healed yeah um even okay so talking about parents I finally had both my parents um you know do the work and the way that that changes everything
With when when you get to share it with people man like my dad has always been my best friend but now he’s like real like it’s like a whole new level and you know me and my mom had a very um challenging relationship my whole life and can’t
Nobody tell me nothing about my mama now like nothing like we the way that the work has supported me and my parents it’s it’s that’s why I’m saying it’s not just about you it’s about who you can be for others and how that Domino affects to everyone who they get be for others
And just changes everything it does it’s a game changer yeah I it’s I’m thinking there’s so many yep yeah like like we literally can probably talk all night just about our own breakthroughs but then just the breakthroughs that we’ve experienced other is it’s it’s it’s powerful you see
You see people in the room and you like man yeah and it it it literally it creates space it does it exact it you don’t walk out of there the same person yeah if you allow yourself to submit to the work Absolut it’s impossible to the thing is you can’t not
Allow yourself to I’ve not seen it me I’ve seen some people resist they’ll resist but you can’t tell me that there wasn’t cuz even leaving it in that resistance yeah they fronting you yeah you got to go home and deal with that person still right you still got to deal
With I think timing is important too some people are not ready yeah I see I don’t know I don’t believe that I do I I I do believe this is what I’ll say most people and when I say most I would I would would would confidently say over
90% of people who come into the workshops they’re going to have that peace I would even say 95% they’re going to have that peace occur at some point during the weekend and and you’re right it it’s been very rare and I can actually count on one hand to where and
I’ll just take the basic Workshop to where we’ve gotten to Sunday of the basic workshop and you know someone was just extremely resistant and I’m I’m clear that person or those few people came in to be resistant yeah and and but i’ I’ve seen most who’ve even come in to
Be resistant it’s still that one moment to where it it really hits you and that’s what’s so Dynamic about the work Workshop you know for some people it’s going to be that very first day for some people it may be the last thing that happens on the very last day and and you
Know it it’s so different for each person I can remember one person in specific um we were down in DC and this was a few years back um he and another person you would have thought they would have come together and say we’re going to tag team and we’re going to make this
Extremely difficult this we it right yeah and the piece that got him was he needed to go pick up his daughter on Saturday doing one of the breaks and he was concerned because his you know no one was to look after his daughter and two of the staff members actually took
His daughter and and so that he can be in the workshop and they they took care of her the entire time and it was that one piece of him seeing what unconditional support looks like that one piece shifted it it shifted the whole thing from him and that’s was so
Special about this work is whatever it is for you it it’s there I say that the timing is perfect for everyone because not everyone gets what they need during yeah those four days sometimes it comes after like there’s a lot that has shown up for me years after
And I’m like oh yeah that’s what that was that I couldn’t have seen it then yeah but it’s like you know it’s kind of like you read a book and you don’t quite understand something but then as you go along like you’re like oh that’s what
That meant or a quote or something it’s it’s one of those things which is why I’m saying as long as you do the work it’s going to show up for you whether it’s that weend or not so timing is irrelevant in that some I’m just saying
Some people are not receptive or open to it right so that’s why that’s what I meant by timeing like but that’s also part of it because you got to look at that well you know I you right cuz I would say I wasn’t exactly
Super you know what I mean but I for me if I’m going to do something I’m going to give it very I’m an extremist I’m like I’m going give it everything or I’m not going to do nothing um and I you know I I realized like that was like the
Birth of I’m going to be pure Unapologetic unadulterated dwan I don’t care like the same I want to give you respect as a parent cuz it really it really was my parents that was like the piece um mainly my father but really my parents and me being so stuck on their
Sacrifice it was pigeon hole in me like it was really anchoring me down where I I felt like I need I was being who I thought I needed to be or who I should be as opposed to just being you and doing what you wanted to so I was
Putting myself in a box mhm and during that experience it was like oh we not doing that yeah cuz if I can’t choose me like I I’ve realized if I will if I’m willing to abandon myself for any reason or any circumstance I can’t ever fully show up
For somebody else and everybody that I come into contact with because I’m abandoning myself they will abandon themselves or they’re going to abandon me if that’s not the frequency they on mhm right and so I really was like oh yeah this is I needed to vote for myself yes yes and I was
Like oh yeah once I well it’s because if I’m if if I’m being fair my mother gave me the greatest gift I think I would like like the greatest gift just Supreme confidence in myself I didn’t had we didn’t like have much but that I had mhm and I never felt
Like I was better than anybody I never but I never felt like nobody was better than me mhm but I I didn’t feel like the fullness of who I was was respectful or fit into my culture or um aligned with the sacrifices of my parents and what they
Wanted from me like I was like yeah I’m not really I get that this is the food you prepared the the path that you created for me but I’m not on that yeah and the shoes that you left for me cool but those shoes don’t fit me MH like I
Was go get my own mhm I’mma I’mma pay homage to those but those are not for me and that’s that that shift happened because just going through the exercises I think there’s something to experiencing a breakdown emotionally or you know pushing through a moment of fear or a moment of resistance or a
Moment of anxiety MH your body captures that oh I can do this and I’m not going to die man oh I can do this and put myself back together or I can break or or I can be scared or I can have anxiet look for breakdowns after that right
Like I’m I you run to challenges because you know what’s on the other side it trains you to approach and look for and search and be curious about life yes and that is something that will never ever leave you the thing that will happen is every time you ignore it you’ll feel the
Itch mhm you know you you you know you resisting uh you know you running for you know you need to lean in right like once you experience that in your body and your body tracks like oh I can cry and I’m still cool or I can be anxious
Or I can not pick up the phone when somebody calls yep mhm and life goes on you’re building a muscle at that point yes it’s muscle memory that’s all it is you’re building like an emotional muscle a a muscle in the way you’re being and you’re I guess like your authentic
Muscle you know and um it’s like you know you train in in these workshops and then you get out in the world and you actually get to utilize it and you know when you feel out of shap you you get that itch right you’re like go back you
Go back in you can never feel stagnant again and feel comfortable exctly and then on top of that you got the community because you got people who will check up on you like what’s going on yeah you speak the same language you have the same experiences you know and
Absolutely it’s just it changes everything so you’re you you you have your own experience you have other people that have their experiences and then yeah and you have this accountability that’s like yeah people who who can see through when you when you have that smile on and
They’re like okay you’re BS and what what’s really going on and it’s really going to be there to hold you up and and support you that that yeah that’s the type of community oh yeah listen I had one of those moments uh can you definitely I love you Auntie let she definitely
Uh she introduced me to being conscious of how I do things again things were just effortless for me I i’ be like all right cool like let me just it’s almost like going through the motions yeah she’s like doing is easy for you you you you check
A box with the best of them yeah but who are you being are you doing it with a smile yeah are you you feeling joyful are you trusting or is it heavy or is it are you present mhm right and I’m like At first I’m like first of all who you talking to
First of all I’m grown right that’s exactly it but then it’s like oh this is what somebody being a yes for you looks like yeah and for many of us we’ve never had somebody be a yes for us yeah and mean it yeah right and we trust
It and so that you I again you we’re talking about it but the level of passion and sincerity that we have comes from actually doing it doing it and and seeing it modeled and experiencing it ourselves exactly I don’t know one person that has went through and not had not Fallen apart or
Wanted to just say man [ __ ] this I’m not doing this no more and somebody getting them to you know recommit or reinvest in themselves absolutely absolutely shifting everything yep and that’s not just in the room that’s in life in general like um Sheree um Simmons who you all know is
One of the partners she’s one of those people for me even to this day cuz you know as long as we’re living life is going to hit you life is going to do what it does and and there are moments now where you know I’ll have that moment
Come in and I start to question for a second and then it’s sharq calling or it’s my good friend Heather calling or or Amanda and these are the people you know who I who I’ve surrounded myself a part of the community aspect that we’re talking who are always going to when we
Say want to see the next person win and and is yeah not that listen Jer yes so being being in the work uhhuh um for yourself and then facilitating the work and being a yes for other people and then you start impact talk to me about that
Journey um and I have more questions but let yeah absolutely um so yeah so since I’ve started this work um for me you know it’s not just work this is calling this is purpose and um of course I I was a facilitator at a previous company um another company who does really great
Work MH um there’s at one point I knew there’s a there was a way in which I saw this work being done M and um to to Really maximize the impact to really maximize the effectiveness on it um so that started the Journey of impact um
Just to kind of give a brief history we were initially going to launch in March the third week of March I believe the actual date was March 19th 2020 of course which is the um wow yeah that’s crazy wow which is the week that New York City literally went into shut down
Yeah and uh and I believe in this work so much that you know I thought we were going to wait the two weeks and then the two months for everything to to to blow over like we all thought and I couldn’t see this work being done in the virtual
Space because I believe in this work and didn’t want to see it watered down and and one of my um good friends she’s like a sister to me she said you know what this work is needed now more than ever so we were able to put together virtual
Um you know part of it in which we were able to you know give throughout the pandemic to really as as a extra you know Avenue to support and then last summer we relaunched our first in-person workshop last July and since then we’ve been in that commitment to you know
Making sure as many people have the opportunity to do this work you know many people have the opportunity to really understand what it means to to matter and what it means to be able to go for their dreams be able to go for their goals and and one thing I like to
Say and and just to kind of take it on a spiritual level and what this work is to me because I believe we all have a higher being inside of us whomever you know that may be for each person but really allowing oneself to see the
Higher being that lives in them as well and really knowing that knowing that you deserve all that you want in your life you deserve you know all of your relationships you deserve all the love that you desire all the goals that you want to achieve and that’s the journey we’re on right
Now yeah I think you know conversations we’ve had over the last year so um you know being on our individual Journeys but maybe not conscious of the fact that we all still on the same Journey um and so figuring out how we can do work together absolutely and what that Synergy looks
Like and you know we we’ve had several conversations and like it just We Go Together absolutely right and so just being centered around you know it almost made me feel like when we we were meet and almost made me feel like the like um when Tony Stark was putting Avengers
Together this is this the Avengers Initiative or something right um but you know we were we were just grounded in the the calling of having greater impact right yes and we were like so how do we have greater impact in communities Across America the globe um with this work and I
Think you know from where we are us being positioned where we are um you star on the platform um Disney looking being a connector and looking to introduce it to man new communities that’s my calling right um meet a person who really ain’t a people person having a platform and
Being able to share the work pro of concept right yeah and looking to see like okay how do we get in this so that people can receive abolutely the fruits of this work that is very in and meaningful to each and every one of us
In our own way but we all have the understanding of what it is on a macro level as well absolutely um so talk a talk a bit about you know what what is going on with impact now and then some of the plans just so that there there’s some people that are
Listening right now and their ears are perked and their interest is peaked and okay this sounds great but like like where do I fit in to this this movement how do I get introduced to it how do I experience it for myself but also like cast a vision let them know what’s going
On gotcha so um so right now um like I mentioned we are about a year and a half into our our relaunch lunching last summer um with it our primary offering is a is a um a series of three Workshops the first being called the basic work
Shop the basic is all about awareness it’s designed to have an awareness of your of self go up exponentially and the piece about the awareness is once we are aware we can make decisions that really support our development that really support our growth and and really allow
Us to you know move into uh the next level of Our Lives um after that our second um 4-day Workshop is all about breakthrough it’s designed to um to to Really create breakthroughs in life break the the the back of the past break the chains of the gravity that’s holding
Us down and forever designed to alter your relationship with fear and really allow you to see how far you can stretch how far you can really go and then the the last of it is a 90-day program which is results driven it it’s 90 days you’re meeting with your coach um every week
You’re meeting with um your team every week and you have what you call a letter of accomplishment which is pretty much a business plan for your life where do I want to be in my finances in My Career Education in my relationships in my community involvement and in my health
As physical uh mental spiritual emotional health um so the introductory is called a basic Workshop you can actually you know find more information added on um www. impact with2 eyes impact online.com that’s I IM Pac online.com um we have a few upcoming workshops here in New York City uh we
Have one uh let me pull out my phone just to make sure I’m giving you the right dates y okay we have one January 18th through the 23rd um so there’s actually that um that Thursday through that Sunday and then we do an additional guest evening on Tuesday uh we have one
Going from March 7th through the 12th and then we’re also excited because uh we are expanding into the Minneapolis area as well um which I’m I’m sure um I’m going to ask you to speak more on yeah um that’s kind of where I come into play in this Avengers
Situation is helping spread this marel right helping um spread this into other communities that don’t have access to things like this um you know like I said I had to catch a flight and do this and be a crazy space to like be in a trusting space to do that and have the
Experience I had and then I came I I did basic I came right back a month later did Advance came back a month later and spent the summer in New York to do um to do the leadership training so and that’s not realistic for a lot of people I’ve
Tried in the last 5 years to pull people into this world but it’s just not how it works so at the end of um my leadership training I I pretty much declared that I would bring the work back home and then when we got together we were like well
What about bringing it even further than that and um so it starts with Minneapolis in uh George Floyd Square yes in milk weekend which is very important very important so um yeah right right across the street from the memorial where um George Floyd was murdered there is an event space where
We plan to have the basic uh impact workshop and um really like give social justice an opportunity um to feel this work because I feel like that’s what’s missing um the the real tea on it is that you know when I when I was in New
York and I seen what happened back home um all I could think about is how angry people were and how disconnected people were and we needed something to connect us so um I had already had in my mind to bring the workshop there so it only made
Sense to bring it under this Narrative of Social Justice and um you know bringing people together so this is a new way to take on social justice in my mind rather than um an uprising where there’s riots and there’s there’s drama and there’s news this is where we can intentionally come together and
Um yeah do this work absolutely it puts exactly I’m just going to say it puts the the heart into into social justice work yeah so it’s starts there but you know beyond that yeah it’s about bringing it to smaller communities and and um yeah sharing this work with
Others and we’ve you know even in the conversation like we realize that there are other cities and other places that need to work um and they they each have very unique idiosyncratic kind of issues that you know while being very specific to that that location on a macro level
Is very much the same it just looks different and so you know again grounded in you know you know having greater impact mhm you know we are looking to partner with communities right because this is this is this is a very this is intimate yeah this work is very intimate
Is it’s it is Meaningful um you know I’m just s I’m sitting here just thinking about all the Things that got to look different in my life um I don’t know that I’m even sitting here doing this right if I wasn’t a part of that work I think about the relationships um I just was thinking you know prior to my brother and I hadn’t spoken in
Probably something like 10 years mhm and me and my brother reconnected and just so happens we had a family reunion and like now me and my brother are like super tight right like yeah um you know a part of being a part of the work you know
I I can say I met but like I I I met my wife for the first time M and like I could stop there yeah right but just like yeah you know uh projects that I’ve started initiatives movements people that I’ve met um perspective that I’ve gathered
Has one shifted and changed me but everybody that I come in contact I’m able to leave my fingerprint and one of the the pieces of my fingerprint is this work that we’re talking about right it’s it’s etched in the DNA that’s good and knowing what it has done for me I
Know that this is something that everybody needs yeah and every deser everybody does even if they don’t realize yeah yeah it’s for you absolutely and it’s available to you absolutely absolutely the reason I do this work when when I hear that you know you met your wife you spoke to your
Brother when I hear that that drives me to continue doing this work and and and and and you’re right it’s it’s available for everybody everybody we all can benefit from doing this work so I I’m going to do this work until and as you know outrageous as it may sound but like
Literally to every person on this planet to this world would have shifted because people have done this work and people are able to you know be who they are love how they can love heal how they can heal yeah just imagine yeah I’m I’m excited to be in a space of like scaling
It scaling the work you know um because you know how that works like one group does it and then the next group and then the next group and then it just scales the man goes crazy absolutely man so it’s not even about like just that one it’s about what that
One does for so many it’s exact exactly just the thought of it just yeah you can never really quantify the effect right because you there’s no way to measure someone’s impact on the world and so that one person that that gets to go you said so yeah is a vote for the
World being different absolutely yeah absolutely I I’ll say I had um I have a teenager and she did the basic um last summer and just the way that to see how it reflects in teens like a teenager I totally forgot about the babies yeah yeah yeah I when I tell you a different
Human being that young uhhuh crazy I can only imagine if I would have gotten this work as a teenager man can you imagine this is why it’s so important like on another level small communities and children is like uhhuh yeah y’all okay what I’m not what I’m saying what I’m not about to
Do yeah me to crying on here no legit no legit it is no but now but I’m think you know my daughter is at an age where she could she could do the work she could do the work uhuh and I just thought for a second about what she would have access
To yeah I totally forgot about this yes yes yeah man yeah can you imagine yeah yeah I mean I feel like I got a little bit more life seasoning you know you know what I mean like I’m I be getting hit with mis sometime and like yeah
What’s up big bro and you know what I mean so like and I and I’m going be honest I be looking at some of the youngest like man y’all little young like I’m like I never like I the movie Grumpy Old Men like I used to look at that movie like why they
So get it now you know what I’m saying I’ll be looking at the youth like and I and I realized one of the issues is like we don’t have Elders putting their hands on like going to support I think we quit mhm we quit them
We we leave them to figure it out so early in life yeah and just just remembering that we have this work available to young people absolutely it changes this this this generation changes everything needs it more than ever because we’re so disconnected absolutely due to technology imagine they’re getting right
Now like I tell parents you know that there’s a third parent there’s mom there’s Dad and then there’s the internet okay because what they’re not going to tell you and their friends and everything else and or get from you they’re going to get it from the internet active life right now it sucks
But it is what it is and that third parent is like it it’s hard to fight right it’s hard to overcome that because it’s so accessible 247 all the time like like all the time the things that they that we used to have to ask or find go to the
Library they can get that’s their third parent and so um what what this work does for them is takes them out of that more more than anything it takes them out of that and it forces them to use the people around them you know to
To I guess like just be more physical in their lives you know introduces them to connection exactly meaningful way in a meaningful in a real way tangible physical way you know um and they can’t undo that and you know that muscle you get it that young can
You imagine you imagine exactly being a teenager now we going to figure this out I’m about Jeremy don’t even know yeah oh we going to have some conversations so even at being cuz one thing that this work does it it allows you to like really find yourself and own who you are
And when given the influence of the third parent if you can have this to counter that to where the third parent and in social media and the outside world I was saying you this you have to look this way but you’re becoming a you’re receiving tools to you know in
Spite of what everything that’s out there you’re determining your worth you know who you are because you are who you are that that yeah y yeah that that makes a makes a huge difference yeah every time every time we sit here and do this it’s like it’s so much so
Empowering yeah so something I’ve been doing recently um with uh friends of the show is asking you I’m going to ask you to share one thought one perspective one mindset that you would give the people listening people watching who are interested in becoming the best version of themselves and are
Looking to have greater impact what would that thought that mindset that perspective be I would say to um and whatever you do to always lead with love and empathy um leading with love and empathy allows you to see people in a in a totally different way it allows you to see
People as opposed to their actions um I truly believe that love is the most powerful force on this planet and uh you know I’m very intentional around being a person coming from Love in every environment that I’m in you know while I’m at work you know while I’m at the
Gym wherever it is and it makes a huge difference um it helps to build um genuine relationships um yeah I know that that may not sound like the most profound thing but it’s actually the most profound thing I I can I can say oh it’s real it’s yours yeah
What about you disne I would say to kind of I guess piggyback off that is I just said this to a friend the other day I’m like to remember that love and ego cannot coexist constructively and productively like he challenged me on it like I don’t know and I said think about
It it cannot so whatever it is that you’re going through yeah just know that they cannot coexist so if you can figure out a way to identify and strip your ego of whatever it is then you’re only left with love and that’s the right energy to be in it’s
Interesting you say that um every time I work walk into a workshop the the prayer I pray to to to God is you know decrease my ego increase my ability to love yep yeah that’s that’s it yeah M I like that all right let the people know where they
Can find you where they can find you and information about uh miniapolis and the work absolutely um so you can again visit our website which is www. impact online that’s two i i i m p a c online.com um you can visit our Instagram impact online as well as
Facebook impact again both of those with two eyes MH okay um @ Disney fooot on Instagram uh yeah we going to put we going to put all the links and all all that in the show not we don’t have an official site yet for the uh MLK weekend
But impact online will have yeah we getting together it’s happening oh it’s happening yes indeed it’s happening yes indeed hey um y’all know me I’m dwam Tango on everything um I appreciate y’all being here for this conversation this this is one um that’s very very special just because it’s probably the most
Personal if I’m being you know bias or however um it’s very personal to me for a lot of reasons and um I just I just want you to leave this thinking about how you can have greater impact in your community um moving forward and if you
See it fit to join the movement we invite you with open arms um but if not we appreciate you too we’ll see you when ever we come across you and um yeah I’ll see you on the next part Peace
source
