If you had to describe the social scene attack in just one single word what would it be um I would prob say chill organization balanced hard fun diverse difficult very why is it people have such different opinions about making friends in college and I know you’re thinking duh it’s because some people are
Introverted and some people are extroverted and obviously there’s some truth to that I think at some point in all of our Lives we’ve come across people that just social confidence and Charisma without any effort so 1 2 3 come on come on stand up stand up film this I
Am and honestly it’s kind of a cheat code in terms of meeting people but I think the answer to this question goes far beyond introversion and extroversion I believe it’s entirely possible to be surrounded by people you’re entire life and still feel completely alone in my experience the deeper struggle comes
From finding people that share your similar passions and values not to mention during the first couple years of University most people undergo major personality changes I’m about to graduate from college and as I prepare to close this chapter of my life I’ve been reflecting a lot on my experiences
In college as well as the hard truths I’ve had to face in terms of making friends so that’s what this video is it’s a culmination of lessons that I’ve learned paired with some interesting conversations I had with fellow students I hope you enjoy just thinking about someone that’s not
As comfortable right someone that’s more introverted coming to college they don’t have any friends they’re coming to this big school like what’s your advice to them if you can kind of get into your head like it’s it’s kind of like a fresh start like it’s not like high school and
If you’re like living on campus too like everyone on your floor like I’m an RA so I I this like for S like my my freshman residence yeah it’s like everyone’s kind of look for a friend or like chel what’s called it like it’s like super open to
Everyone else get out there go to the events that georia te hosts I know they have like tradition night and welcome week and things like that I think that those are where to go to and you can meet fellow freshman I think everybody that freshman year is also looking for
Friends I don’t know suddenly changed me so as soon as I entered here like I was like I wanted to meet new people I wanted to be at a good Circle and I did do that so I don’t know what brought in that transition but it genuinely happened this is inherently obvious
Advice everyone tells you to get involved when you first come to college and yet as upper classmen a lot of us feel we should have been more evolved when we were younger that’s because it’s so much easier to meet people when you’re a freshman and you have so much
More time and energy to socialize if you’re watching this there’s a good chance that you fall into one of two categories either you’re introverted and socially anxious or you’re afraid of putting too much on your plate for reference I was both of these as a freshman coming into college and me
Personally I only ended up joining Greek life as a freshman and while it did help me to become more socially comfortable and extroverted I do wish that I got more involved out outside of Greek GL it would have given me the opportunity to meet different kinds of people as well
As figure out where my interests lie and obviously there are many different opinions on how to get involved when a clubs CL finding an organization and she like vogs if you’re a guy I definitely recommend joining Greek life I attend every social event that happened Pokémon
Go like 3 hours a day 3 hours wow if you watch any productivity content you might be familiar with Parkinson’s law this isn’t a productivity video so I’ll explain this very simply but Parkinson’s law basically states that how much every time you set out to do something is how
Much every time it’s going to take to do that task so if you set out 2 hours to do a homework assignment you’re going to get it done in 2 hours now do you need more than 2 hours to get it done that’s besides the point the point that I’m
Trying to make is that when you put more on your plate you’re far more deliberate and efficient with getting your work done and in my experience I’ve only gotten better grades from keeping myself socially occupied and obviously that’s because being social is great for your mental health and as well student
Collaboration is an important tool in being successful in college and in my opinion and the Asian parents are not going to like me for this one but in my opinion I think it’s worth it to get a couple bees your freshman year if it means having a sociable and memorable
Time meeting people and really branching out also friendly piece of advice avoid joining College during a pandemic that also helps to meet people in this first lesson I know that I hyped up joining clubs and organizations as a starting point but for a lot of people this isn’t where you’re going to meet
Some of your best friends like I just thr into bunch of clubs to try and like meet people if I being completely honest like that didn’t work like too great for me the thing that really like changed for me I suppose was um discover Discovering Religion and I know just
Like me personally my experience I found like the most welcoming people in that Community I just feel like our values like you know just align and honestly even within the handful of people I’ve talked to as well as myself everyone has a different opinion on where they met
Their closest friends I guess a lot of my closest friends came from like the Freshman experience you know like living in the dorm my household where I live with my roommates uhhuh that’s really like another Brotherhood to me like those guys really he grew on me like I
Never decided to like join any of like the organizations cuz since I was like so close to home I had some friends from like high school that are going here as well that I most of the time I was in a living Learning Community I also did w
Camp okay um Greek life like I was I was just trying to meet people everywhere so what does this teach us well like I said before it’s very important that you try a lot of different things you know go to the football games get involved in a maker space try some cultural
Organizations study abroad if you have the opportunity to but in doing all these things you might find that maybe you don’t like going to the football games or that you don’t really want to study abroad or maybe you just don’t Vibe with the people in the maker space
And that’s okay just because it worked out for someone else doesn’t mean it has to work out for you just make sure that when you drop something else you try something new me personally I’ve made some friends through the fraternity I’ve made some friends through my classes but
I’ve also made a good few friends through my part-time job as well as just randomly through mutual friends don’t get me wrong making close friends in college is no easy feat there are obviously a lot of variables at play but I do believe there’s somewhat of a correlation between effort and success
So basically what I’m trying to say is intent is not enough you have to put in effort and you have to consistently put in effort and the second thing I want to say on this is that a lot of people end up making their best friends freshman
Year but that might not necessarily be you I know it wasn’t me it’s kind of funny I remember freshman year in one of our gened classes is they had us draw out a timeline of all the major college events that we perceived ourselves to have one of which was you know obviously
Making your friend group and I remember that I wrote down by my third year that I was going to make all the close friends that I would have I had one good friend in the class at that point and he saw that and he got pretty pissed
Because he just assumed that because of that we weren’t going to stay friends and funny enough we’re not really good friends anymore not because of that or anything else it’s just because your life is so variable from freshman year to even sophomore year just because you change where you’re living you’re you go
From gened classes to very specific classes and you have to be more specific and intentional about what kind of commitments you have in your life and so that means that the people that come and go might change a lot so just keep in mind that there are lots of different
Ways to meet people and just because you didn’t meet your core friend group freshman year doesn’t mean that you’re not going to find them later in your college Journey I’ve been hinting at this with the first two points but it becomes infinitely easier to make friends when
You simply just find ways to be social about the things you’re passionate about people can sense when you’re genuinely interested in something because the energy that you put out when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about is attractive and magnetic and honestly even within your current group of friends even if they’re
Not interested in the things that you are just that energy that you’re putting out makes them want to be friends with you and that’s why I suggest you try a lot of things when you’re younger to figure out what you’re passionate about that’s why people that like to travel
Make good friends when they go on study broad that’s why people that are social make good friends in Greek life that’s why Tech nerds befriend Tech nerds and why religious groups are so tight and that’s why I urge you to figure out what you’re passionate about because the
Friendships that are built over Mutual interests and values are the ones that usually grow stronger and actually last similarity wise honestly I’m friends with a lot of people who are very different from me that’s great yeah and I think that’s actually what makes us better friends I think one of the best
Attributes of Georgia Tech is the competitive Spirit of the school there’s definitely a culture of grinding long and hard hours to get the grades you want in your classes and you know get accepted into the internships and job opportunities that you want and even to get startups off the ground and that’s
On a macro scale but even in local friend groups you can see that people Bond over their Ambitions at the school I know I’ve talked about a lot of my failures in terms of making friends but one thing that I’ve really succeeded in is making friends with people that think
Very differently than how I do I mean a lot of them are very intelligent but some of them are more ambitious some of them are more creative and some of them are just very out of pocket but they all also have just a variety of different interests which I think facilitate them
Thinking differ than I do and because of this I’m constantly challenged in my way of thinking in a good way it’s because of my friends that I’ve developed a growth mindset and I’m constantly looking for ways to improve myself and it’s because of my friends that I started this YouTube channel and I
Constantly think about what I want my career trajectory to look like and it’s also because of my friends that when I get stopped dwelling on a failure or on my new details they remind me of the big picture remind me not to take life so seriously and help me move
On as my time in college has gone on the number of people that I interact with on a daily basis has drastically gone down yeah that’s in part because I’m busier and my class sizes have gone down drastically but it’s also because I’m far more intentional about who I spend
Time with I live further away from campus now so I have to be very deliberate about being social I have to reach out to friends to hang out I have to plan events while in advance and in order for them to actually happen and I
Have to be okay doing a lot more things by myself but I think that’s also just part of being an adult you don’t have the school structure of high school and early college to fall back on anymore if you want something to happen you have to be intentional about making it happen so
Drop the ego and reach out to the friends that you want to stay in touch with try making the plans for a change instead of waiting for someone else to if your friends are actually worthy of being your friends they’ll be EXC excited that you took the initiative to
Text them and would actually want to hang out with you anyway these are just my thoughts on this topic this is the final video during my time in college and in a way it feels right to end my time here talking about something that I’m so passionate about I would love to
Know what you guys think about this especially for those people that are also on a similar stage in their life where they’re leaving college but also people that maybe are joining college and have some thoughts and experiences of their own but yeah for those of you
That are not familiar with my channel my name is Goen pacum and this is my YouTube channel where I explore different self-development topics getting out of your comfort zone and generally just exploring things that I feel creative and passionate about so if that sounds good to you don’t forget to
Hit that subscribe button and turn on the notification Bell and I’ll see you for more videos in 2024 all right now get off the internet
source
