What’s cracking what’s cracking what’s cracking what’s crack lacking is man 50 Grand jber here with my guys this is fatherhood exclusive I got Angelo PP on the line what’s up brother what up fellas how’s everyone doing doing phenomenal doing phenomenal Diego in the build what’s up Diego n gentlemen how y’all doing
Excited to be here again so yeah absolutely absolutely we got Dez in the building what’s up Dez what up what up I am excited I am excited to talk about some fatherhood [ __ ] absolutely absolutely absolutely love that energy absolutely and of course of course man y’all if yall haven’t heard him before
We had him on um for uh what I think it was episode 13 straight from the wom po we talked about party training my guy my brother from another mother we got Ryan jigman Newman on the building what’s up brother what’s going on man thanks for
Having you oh yeah we gotta have you back on so for those of y’all who don’t know if you don’t know uh hurt yourself no I’m joking but um we had him on the episode talk about party training and um we’re getting into the episode and then he disclosed that
He didn’t even know he had a daughter until his daughter was already eight years old you know what I’m saying and that blew my mind like for some reason like even weeks after the episode I was sitting and thinking like you I wonder like how he
Had to shift his life how he had to shift the way he think you know what I’m saying because now you got responsibility that you didn’t even know you had and uh it just it just blew my mind and so I was like we got to have
Back on and talk about this and kind of upack this um because I feel like you know there there are other fathers out here that could benefit from hearing your voice on this matter and yeah you know what I’m saying we gonna get into it kind of talk
Us into like how this happened and you know um shout out to your daughter by the way if you watching what’s up you know what I’m yeah tell us about your daughter man and kind of you know let’s unpack this um so it’s crazy how I found out I mean I
In the past well there’s a backstory so let me give you the quick backstory um I was living I’m originally from durm North Carolina I was living in uh durm and I think around this time I had met her um my baby mama her name was Jamie I had met her
Um I think I was like 19 I think about 20 21 19 I say about 1920 no I was for sure 21 I’m tripping I about 21 and um I used to be like a party promoter I had meta through some mutual friends U we end up messing
Around and she actually got pregnant um she was pregnant and then I thought it was my kid which it was my kid which is crazy it end up being my kid but I went through like the whole nine months with we wasn’t like dating or anything we was literally just
Messing around uh and um I think around like seven months she was like um CU I was about to go to the Army like I was only I was I think I was working at Arby’s and I was a party promoter so I didn’t even have I wasn’t
Like like doing anything I was like just going to parties getting paid you know what I’m saying I was dancing but I I a had no goals or nothing you know what I’m saying so I was about to the Army I was like I’m just going to go to
The Army my brother had went cuz her parents found out about her being pregnant and my parents found out and then I think around like seven months she was like I found out that you not the father that’s what she said to me so I’m like I’m happy though you know
What I’m saying I’m be real I’m happy because I’m like I don’t even I didn’t want to have a baby with her but we was gonna do it we was gonna have the baby so um I’m like dang I’m not the father I guess the the dates she said didn’t
Match up and I guess she was messing around with somebody else you know what I’m saying but it’s like we wasn’t dating it wasn’t like I’m like oh you messing with other people yeah yeah so she was like you I find out that you’re not the father so I’m like
Cool and then I think I was still living in durm like two years after that and then I moved to uh California okay and that’s what I I lived in uh Sacramento California and I was staying in California for like 10 years so she had hit me up I think
Around it’s been eight years since that since that happened you know what I’m saying I’m just it’s crazy because when I met you um those was before I went to the military and everything and I was still in Virginia um you know coming up you know for uh dance events and stuff at
The sanctuary events and stuff like that that’s where I met you at and then so when uh when I moved out to the West Coast I was like oh okay on the west coast too you know but you was in California obviously I was in Washington
State but I was like okay okay but I didn’t know this whole thing was happening so how did like so you said you know you were good you know with the fact that you know she she said you weren the father yeah at that point did that change
Your did that change your out look on as far as whether you’re gonna go into the military or not like is that why you didn’t go okay I definitely was not to the military cuz my whole family went to the military you know what I’m saying I
Didn’t think it was nothing wrong with it it was just that I was dancing you know what I’m saying and I was really having a lot of success in that so I’m like I didn’t want to go and then I’m like if I go to um you know
California uh my brother he was based out there in baville um him and his wife um at the Air Force I went and stayed with him okay um I was like I’m gonna go to college and stuff but I was living my life out through Cali for eight years
And around the time that she had hit me up I was uh me and my homie we was about to move to LA for dance and we we were sharing the one bedroom so I was sleeping on the couch me and my homie was in this small one bedroom it was
Kind of hood a little bit you know what I’m saying so it was one of those small joints and uh it was weird how it happened because me and him was having a conversation about like stuff we never thought we would like say to a girl or
Like get mad at a girl because when me around the time that I thought she was pregnant like I was going appointments with her and stuff and you know how pregnant girl like she was like hella mad like if I was out somewhere she’ be
Like you out and I at home all fat you know what I’m saying so we was going [Laughter] through I’m still show up but I’m like I’m not we not dating she wanted me to come cutle whatever all that stuff I’m like I’mma show up and stuff but uh you
Know and but it was a time where I was like man I felt like I wanted to hit her you know what I’m saying and I ain’t never felt like that towards a woman but me and my homie was just having that conversation like I was telling him like
Man I remember this time I thought I had this girl pregnant and right when I said that she messaged me on Instagram oh no and I I looked at it and I said she was like Ryan uh I was telling my room like but this is the girl I’m talking about
Right now she just hit me up and then she was like Ryan hit me up I got a uh talk to you about something it ain’t that serious when she said that like I don’t know spiritually I already knew what it was I was like dang that’s my
That’s probably my kid that’s probably why she hit me up and then she text me and then she was like um I think uh J her name ja he was like I think ja might be your kid and she was like it’s between you and another guy um
And she was just asking me if I was willing to take a test and she had she was uh getting engaged so she was like if it happens to be your kid you know we’ll adop her I mean he’ll adop her if you don’t want to
Be in her life but I’m like you know if this my kid I’m be in her life so I end up taking a test man but I ain’t gonna lie I already knew it was my kid like KN like from that whole thing was like being revealed and I just already knew
It was I already knew what she was gonna say when she messaged me and then I to I end up taking a test and then it was M I found out she was withing my daughter you know what I’m saying did you uh did you end up like keeping tabs on her like
As your daughter was like growing up like just in case oh no because I didn’t think it was my kid oh okay okay yeah I didn’t know like cuse she told me it wasn’t my kid you know what I’m saying she thought another dude was her dad for
Eight yeah so let’s let’s go back a little bit because you know when when you first found out you know she was pregnant um you were you were committed to it like you went to the appointments and stuff like you just said so you know even though you said you were you
Were you know happy when you found out that or when she said that it wasn’t did you feel like all of that time that you spent invested into this being a reality did you feel like that time was in vain at the moment uh yeah I would say so you know
What I’m saying we went through a lot of arguing and stuff like just for like you know what I’m saying because it was we a even really know each other like that you know what I’m saying like we was just messing around yeah and um you know
She she got a good family and stuff and um but yeah I did feel like it was a waste of time because I was going through a lot I was going through appointments and yeah BR it was it was yeah you were ready to step up yeah yeah
And I was about to go to the Army I got a question I gota ask all right ahead so even though y’all wasn’t dating when you found out that she was putting up basketball numbers when it come to dudes that kind of messed with you a little bit like she
She thought it was another dude then she thought it was you thought was another dude I like three dudes like why yall all really no protection going on up in there you know what I’m saying look I thought I thought it was crazy because we I was at her crib like
Every weekend so I was like dang how you even find time I’m always there you know way I was like I don’t even know she time blocking you the weekend appointment yeah I definitely was like you know what I’m saying so I got a question for
You um all right so you you find out the the baby’s not yours did you feel like your your level of like uh I would say maturity or or where you were going in life responsibilities yeah changed after you find out that it was it was not yours so like I understand
That you were you know you kind of stress free like yeah happy about it did did you were like because you were ready to step off to the plane and say okay I got to be a dad so I got to take responsibility so I’m going to join the
Army do you think he he went back again to the teenage mentality or do you were like hey this is where you know I’m already on this path of like you know keep moving up so I’m just gonna use that as as as uh as kind of
Like um like a way to prepare for yeah to just like motivation to just keep going um yeah I would say because after that after I had found out it wasn’t mine that was around a time where I was like you know cuz my brother was already living in California
And he uh that was around a time where I was thinking like cuz my parents after that time too they was kind of pressing me too like because I was staying at their house and they was like are you going to go to the military or you know what I’m saying you
Got to do something well you can’t live here you know what I’m saying yeah yeah so I’m like dang well my brother was getting married already uh and I already had a a play ticket to his um to his wedding so I was like dang this might be
The opportunity for me to just go out there because I was already going for the wedding so I was like man they was pressuring me and I’m like bro I’m not going to the military I was like bro I’m g go to Cali you know what I’m saying and I said that
Did I never thought about that that did make me make a move like yeah you know what I mean because like it sounds like that’s what made your decision to just go because maybe if uh if you wouldn’t have done that move you wouldn’t know where where you’re at right now right so
Like I’m a True Believer that things happen for a reason right there’s things that you know whether it’s it’s positive negative there’s always uh a plan right and and once we start looking back you’re like was this moment or situation what actually pushed me to be where I’m
At um you know so I was I just that’s why I was just wondering is like is that what kind of pushed you to just say you know what I’m done with living on Mom’s Dad I’m G to go ahead and do my own thing and and look at where you’re at
Right now you know what I mean yeah n it definitely did man when I think about it now yeah it did it was like it was definitely a wake up call you know what’s crazy so um me and Katie we’ve been I watched this show before but we
Know we watching again because I I watch it so ago I forgot you know most of what happened but we’re watching the show Lucifer and U it’s a dope show if you haven’t seen it y’all should check it out for sure but it’s a show called Lucifer and you know obviously it’s
About the devil whatever but you know it’s about a dude that’s Liv in La who’s like literally the devil but you know he left hell because you know whatever and so I want to tell the whole story to ruin it but um I will tell this part though because
I don’t care I’m I’m going share this part um getting to the show I don’t know what season it is but you find out that you know a certain person that he dealing with you know that makes him vulnerable um because he’s Immortal right but the person that he dealing with that makes
Him vulnerable to getting shot and whatever else oh look I got the thumbs up thing hey it did it we in here all right so um sorry y’all but so uh you know this person makes him vulnerable and then find out later on that um her parents you know uh couldn’t
Have a child her parents couldn’t have a child and God had sent you know his older brother and madil which is one of the Angels or whatever the oldest brother I think um sent him a long time ago down to earth to bless uh the girl’s mother and father to
Be able to have her and so you know he didn’t notice the whole time and then it wasn’t until a menad realized oh those the you’re this daughter of so and so okay so this was all a setup you know they to they took it down a different
You know path but yeah nevertheless it was all a setup for you know where he’s at now or whatever because God already had knew you know what was going to happen and it’s just crazy to think I mean it’s not crazy to think but you know it’s it’s interesting how you know
You think about certain things that happen in your life or you think about certain situations that you got caught up in or whatever um and you just you kind of think like dang if that wouldn’t happened where would I be like if that wouldn’t have
Happened to me like I might have been in a worse position than I am now I might have been in a better position you know whatever but it’s just and don’t get me wrong I don’t encourage yall to go on this rabbit hole and thinking you know
Is but you know what I’m saying but you know sometimes you know it crosses your mind naturally you know as a human you know it it crosses your mind like dang this wouldn’t happen because honestly if if I wouldn’t have had or I had because
I didn’t happen but if if I wouldn’t to you know helped conceive my oldest son um when I was 14 like I don’t think I will be nowhere near where I am today I probably would have been you know um either shot in prison or you
Know whatever and was like dang like it was that moment where my whole life changed so going from there let’s fast forward when you find out you know you get the text and you find out or you know she says that you know are you
Willing to take a test you get the test found that it’s your daughter how does your how does your mind stay shift at that point oh like once I found out yeah um I think it’s a little unreal at first you know what I’m saying you definitely
Like man do I need to take another test you know what I’m saying like man you better double check that make sure that test ain’t fake or it’s like when the girl’s pregnant you’re like you sure you but I knew though I knew it within I
Don’t know it’s just one of them knowing things in your spe like like I said I knew before the test you know what I’m saying yeah did y’all try to get back together um oh no she was engaged she was engaged so she’s engag yeah she was
Engaged so yeah I found out I was I was sad man yeah I I cried for a minute like it it was really sad man I was like dang this is like a lot you know what I’m saying missing eight years yeah and then you kind of and now you in a whole
Another place and you you know you going for dreams and now it’s like dang what do I do from here and nobody is like around that time I’m like I have friends and you know it’s almost like man you talk to people they don’t know what to do they don’t
Even know what to tell me you know what I’m saying so you may feel alone in it you know what I’m saying because now it’s like people you like dang what do I do I ain’t even I’m even living in the one bedroom we saving money you know what I’m saying I’m
Trying to move to uh LA to you know what I’m saying this is like now I’m like well now what what is the plans and what do I do how do I B it’s just join the Army what is hey I got I got a question for you
Ryan I got a question for you what what is something that your daughter does and you’re like yeah she’s 100% mine like what what’s one thing that that you see in her that you’re like that’s my kid uh probably the humor and the talent like do a lot of things uh
Easy yeah it was funny I was telling Ka that because I told her about you know um when I was watching y’all doing like videos or whatever the dog on now want start popping up if you’re not watching so I guess you know iPhones had an
Update or whatever and I think mine just updated a couple days ago but when you put thumbs up and you’re on the video chat or whatever it’s like a blow bubble anyways back to what I was saying so so um I was telling her like when I
Was watching y’all like y’all were doing videos or whatever and y’all were like literally like twins like clowning around like I was like yo that’s crazy and so when I found this I’m just like there’s no way because it it seemed like y’all had known each other you know her
Whole life how y’all you know act around each other and I was like that’s dope but it’s got to be complicated at the same time oh very comp compc it’s nowhere near I had after I found out I had to like you know I wasn’t moving I
Ain’t even had that much money you know what I’m saying I was flying like I was like okay her birthday Christmas her birthday is in March so I would just fly on Christmas then I’ll fly back on her birthday you know what I’m saying I’ll
Figure out a way to just fly back so I wasn’t really I was talking to her on the phone like FaceTime CU when she was younger she was like when we first talked it was like nervous you know what I’m saying yeah FaceTime and stuff but
We kind of like when she was like younger like eight nine like she enjoyed being on the phone and doing certain things you know what I’m saying but when she started growing and stuff like 11 12 she kind of you know you start getting friends and stuff so yeah it was still
Like you know a challenge to build a bond because I’m so far and then the kid is also wondering like she’s like you know what he doing in Cali you know what I’m saying because you ate so you don’t understand none of this like why well I
Thought this dude was my dad hold on he my dad and then he live in Cali why he in Cali you know what I’m saying so question it’s even a challenge now of like still bonding with her and like you know what I’m saying because she still
Don’t she know me but it’s still like you know what I’m saying you gota think about it how it is for her mind and her mindset you know what I’m saying especially at that young age yeah another question for you go ahead dieo so obviously you you had a kind of like
An emotional moment when you find out but were you were you angry um at at the situation not not exactly like her mom but like the situation because it is now like um putting a stop to to a pause to your goals right so not you’re saying
You’re you’re getting ready to you know start moving to LA to go dancing and all of a sudden now you got this kid so even though you know it’s it’s yours and you but are you angry at like to a point like why why me or are you like excited
And say you know what I knew all this all this time it was mine and and I’m I’m willing to just put a put a halt and then take care of because I mean I command you for like you know being able to to pause your thing and actually
Focus on your kid because all the all people would have been like hey you know what I’m gonna focus on my career right now because this and then I’ll try my best to connect but sounds like you literally just were 100% in with with uh trying to rebuild that relationship with your
Kid yeah I mean I wasn’t like ready to move um immediately from California because I didn’t know I wasn’t even in a position to do it or I was like I don’t know if that even the right thing to do right now because it wasn’t like you know
Thank God she’s not like a baby mama that’s like hood or like trying to get child you know what I’m saying grandparents you know saying the family she got a good family you know what I’m saying so they was open um you know to helping in everything but yeah I was I
Was mad man I was mad at her because I’m just like dang this eight years you know what I’m saying situ imagine so I was still doing my thing in Cali like I said I was just like you know what can I do right now I can talk on the phone and I
Can fly back for important things so that’s that’s what I did man and around like I think I stay I still stayed in college for like four years and I just came back to North Carolina last year uh December 2022 yeah I had Kan back um when she was
Uh because she’s 12 now but I was just when I came back down here to visit I actually was coming here to visit but something told me like because I end up uh I was staying in Sacramento I end up leaving my apartment I got like laid off one of my
Jobs or whatever um and I end up I was visiting home for Christmas December 2022 but then when I was here it was another one of them shift feelings where I was like dang I think God want me to stay here and and really you know help her
You know what I’m saying I feel like it was a critical time because that’s when I re that’s when the real sacrifice came is when I decided to stay here because I didn’t want to stay here you know saying not because I didn’t want to be in her
Life but I got I’ve everything in Cali I got all the connections I love California I still love California you know what I’m saying and I did not want to come here like at all so this was a huge sacrifice but I could feel I be
Knowing when it’s the stuff in my spirit I’m like Dam he want me to stay so I like y let me go ahead and stay and this 12 was a critical age because the8 n 10 she was on the FaceTime but when like when she got like 11 there was no more FaceTime
There was no more talking to me or none of that like that so I’m or you lose that time it it was that time it was that time bro so I just went ahead and made that move and that’s where I’m at now man and it’s still some challenges right
Now absolutely I got a question for you oh go ahead let let me one um all right so when so you found out she’s 8 years old um at the time and you know you’re still in California but you’re doing what you can you know what I’m
Saying how from your perspective how how is she looking at you at this point like is she accepting the fact that you’re her her biological father or is there is there resentment there is there you know uh what’s the word I want to use like what’s from your perspective what’s
Going on through her head as because of course you know you’re going through challenges as as you know a a newly found father in a way but I can’t imagine what what she’s going through at that point in time you know realizing that somebody who she thought was her father isn’t her father
And then her after fathers across the country so from your perspective what she going through at that time and then how are how were how were you able B to um kind of spark off the relationship um I mean I think around the time she was a and stuff she wasn’t really
Thinking about like resentment or you know what I’m saying I think she was just excited to know who her real dad was and okay so she was excited cool yeah she was excited man because we she would call me all the time like sometimes way too much but I would I
Would like be there I would be I would down there answer any timetime you know what I’m saying so I think I just had that line open and you know she played fortnite stuff I would play fortnite with her and I really just kept the Line
Open man and then if she was doing something she like she was drawing stuff I would just be on the phone draw with it sometime and uh yeah I pretty much just kept that line open you know what I’m saying that’s good um made sure when
I came down here and stuff when I visited that she would come and spend the night and um yeah she really enjoyed it so she was a little bit more excited I think the older she’s getting now I think it’s a it’s you know I think her brain is probably developing more and
She’s probably getting more questions coming up in her head like because her grandma used to tell me like you know kids would tease her sometime if she was like you know her Grandma picking up from like second third grade kids like where your parents at you know how kids is they
Mean ruthless ruthless man so she’s she’s definitely went through some stuff that I probably don’t even know about when it comes to that but I could tell now she is still you know wondering some things probably and it’s probably you know because she go to therapy and stuff
Too and it’s probably you know a challenge and even me being even me being here now and just living with her and stuff it’s a I can tell that’s still a new thing for her too you know what I’m saying you know the good thing though is
That you didn’t abandon her though you know I mean you just didn’t know yeah so that’s the good part it’s not like you then you wasn’t there then you tried to come back eight years later and try to make yeah because because her mom gave
You an out and you chose to stay yeah so we can I commend you for that I I think she’s probably you know kind of more appreciative of that like you didn’t leave and try to abandon you just felt like you didn’t know it was
Yours you know what I mean but yeah I think now she’s probably happy to yeah like you said probably happy to know who her dad really is because every child want that b with they with their true parent you know what I mean so so that’s
The that’s the best part and then all kids when they get to like that 11 12 age they don’t really want to kick it with the parents no more I they don’t my son n and he’s he kind of start I could see it coming I can see it coming yeah
They don’t they do though they do they act sometimes they I could they act like they don’t want you there but they do want you even when you don’t like they don’t they still want you there yeah like they they want you in the capacity to where like I don’t want to
Say you’re there waiting on them but in a way they want you there waiting on them like all right go stand over there Dad yeah they they they want to be able to leave you like okay okay okay I’m they want you in that spot where they can use you yeah
They want you accessible they because I mean they they G they know that they’re going to go through some some stuff and questions and stuff so they just want to make sure that you’re you’re there um so for everybody that’s listening to us uh what were some of the struggles that
That you went through as as you now moving into her life and then same thing her moving into your like what are some of the struggles and and that that you actually had to go through um I would say like you know she’s already programmed you know she’s 12 so she’s
Been living with her grandparents and then her mom is like she kind of stayed with her mom some sometimes she did but she don’t um you know her mom isn’t like the most and not trying to like bash the mom or anything because the mom was good
She’s great um but she is still like immature in some ways and the even the grandparents you know they even tell me um certain things and they didn’t she recently moved to uh Charlotte she actually stays in Charlotte um and she had a job out there so she’s not even
Near JC oh wow J stand at the crib so it’s like I can tell that affects her a little bit you know what I’m saying so because ja she sometimes she by herself a lot because the grandparents is older and the grandpa travel a lot and Grandma she’s more like nice and um
You know very caring but she’s not more en forceful and and jaon got spoil in a lot of ways because of you could tell like you know when stuff happen to the kids they want to yeah do the best for the kids so she’s been very spoil so you
Know now I have to like she doesn’t live with me so certain things it’s a challenge for me to enforce things because it’s like she don’t live with me you got ketchup yeah and I gotta pay and she’s already programmed a certain way so had to like you know like oh you got
To be respectful or you know right now in school she wasn’t doing as well not because she um can’t do it she just didn’t wouldn’t do certain things you know I’m saying like acting out because she don’t have to at home she’s not she don’t really have a lot of consequences
So it’s like she can do it at school so now I’ve been having to work with her a lot more with her homework but it’s been good because I can tell she like me being around helping her with her homework that’s awesome but it’s just a challenge man I think
It’s just so many things that you don’t really know what to do or how to do it and I think a lot of people around they don’t know what to do either but I think you just take it day by day you just
Take it day by day man you just try to F things like you know I bring around the family she met some of her cousins like for Christmas and um so I just do I just try to make sure she know that I care I
Don’t I don’t know what to do I might I don’t know how to do everything but I I don’t think that’s an excuse not to do anything you know what I’m saying oh yeah oh yeah put that on a t-shirt yeah absolutely do nothing they like I don’t
Know what to do man so I ain’t gonna do nothing or it’s like you can’t do that you gotta do something has she try to ask you or has she asked you uh why can’t she go live with you since she living with her with her grandparents uh nah I mean she knows
That I still stay with my parents I haven’t got my my place out here yet okay but um she do want me to get a place she do be like I want get a place that she can um you cause she don’t like coming over here all the time I mean she
Like she want to come to my place but she’s not really like um I don’t know about moving in you know what I’m saying but she is pretty like she’s an expressive when you gonna get a SP like that type you know what I’m saying like well how far you live from
Her right now oh I’m like 30 minutes oh good for you good for you yeah I’m like 30 minutes man so yeah so it’s just been a challenge man because I even had to start from scratch coming back here you know so it’s like but you did that for
Her though I did it for her man and I a have no money when I came here all that matters you did it for her yeah man I had to man bro I’m talking about I’m door dashing money just to go I well I didn’t had no money when I came even
When I was flying down I didn’t have the money I was out ways to get it or if I had the bar or or just whatever I had to do but uh it’s that’s awesome Journey it might seem more challenging than you know um you think you you may think it has to
Be right now but I promise you there’s reward for for for what you’re doing man and you know I I know that man trying not get emotional but um it’s all good it’s let me let me let me say this so for those of y’all who
Listening you know um it’s crazy my boy my boy tuck was talking to me uh when I was still in Wason about some things I was going through and um you know this is why therapy is so important y’all but you know even just having people that
You can talk to is still therapy you know having having people brothers and you know people who you know understand who you are is important in your inner circle so I was talking to my boy tuck and um you know we usually don’t talk on a spiritual tip because usually you know
We out drinking or something you know what I’m saying when we link up so you know what I’m saying it’s whatever but you know uh you know he he said to me and I swear it would nothing but the spirit he said said to me the reason you’re going
Through what you’re going through is because you are chosen to be able to stomach what you’re going through he was like you are probably the only person that could stomach what you specifically are going through he was like nobody else can handle exactly what it is you’re going through but you were
Chosen uh to go through what you’re going through for a reason in this season and I was just like I hated it because at the time I was like but I don’t want to be you know what I’m saying and uh he was like so what he was like it’s been put
On your back because God know you got the strength to hold it on your back and he said and even if you don’t feel like you have it now the strength that you’re going to gain from carrying this on your back is gonna be well worth it and I was
Just like say and after that I was just like what am I to say you know what I’m saying and so I’m hearing that in my head again as you as you keep continue to talk because you know it takes a certain type of person to be able to
Stomach what you’ve been able to stach and and I know more about your story you know what I’m saying so it’s like to have nothing to be you know um to be homeless you know what I’m saying at times to be you know sleeping in your
Car at times and then to to not have a car and then all of the stuff that you’ve been going through that you know people might not know about it’s it’s you’re gonna be blessed bro and and just keep doing what you got to do for your daughter keep doing what you
Got to do for your family and U you see it through you know what I’m saying I just wanted to pause and say that because I keep hearing this stuff like as you’re talking dang yeah it’s I appreciate that man absolutely um so I did have one more question
Um at this point now in time right y are still dealing with some challenges on you know um it’s crazy because we just talked about this last week with you know like you said uh when you’re raising a child that’s not in your home there are
Certain values that you got to try to teach them that they necessarily might not be adapt to already and that’s a challenge what are some ways that you find yourself I don’t want to say like open the door for that but what are some ways that you can make
Way to uh teach her those values without her feeling like you know you’re trying to step on her toes or not that that matters because you’re a father but you know what I’m saying like she’s also a 12-y old girl so it’s like you gotta
With girls you kind of got to be a little bit more sensitive to how you interrupt their programming or their way of thinking you know what I’m saying um I think uh I think the biggest thing that I’m learning is I think if you build the
Most important thing is I think is the bond because I think if the bond it get stronger they more willing to listen to you because I can tell with my daughter the more like when I I’ve been able to spend more time with her doing homework because I was I was
Working but then I I had end up getting my car and I was like I’m G just do Uber and stuff um so I can spend more time with her because I was doing 10 hour shifts and I couldn’t a few days I couldn’t be with her so I’ve been able
To do the homework more with her and I noticed that when I’m able to break because I’m already I’ve already teached kids so I know how to make I know how to make education fun or funny or like and I’ll be like talking to her and I could
Tell she’ll start to respect it because she like dang he actually he know how to make this fun you know what I’m saying so I see a little bit of respect earned and then I had that Charlotte this weekend she ain’t never seen me battle
She never see me like in my element so I was like let me take her to Charlotte and the whole thing and I’m in there turning up I’m in there going crazy she looking at me like Dam my Daddy really turned up like I’m really going crazy with
I’m making it all the way to the finals like I’m just beating people she’s seeing me like do it you know what I’m saying so I think that was another one because it’s like now she get to see what I do and yeah I think it’s just continuing because it’s like you can’t
It’s it’s a slippery slope you can’t like discipline discipline if you’re not even really fully bonded like that yeah that’s kind of where I was getting to it’s like that’s that’s hard to to dive into like especially like when you missed out on you know yeah half of her
Life already at this point so far it’s like you got to try to yeah you gotta like strategically like ease you know what I’m saying game I think it’s just like stacking stacking things like she seen me dance oh he helping me with the homework oh he come
To the basketball game yeah you know what I’m saying oh he listen to me about the teacher you know what I’m saying so I think it’s just know what I’m doing man sometime but I just I just see I just see little things okay I just got
To keep building the bond yeah just just keep just keep doing what you know and what you feel is right perod you’re doing a great job from what I’m hearing you’re doing a great job and and I think you probably did the best thing by letting her see
That you are a real human too you can you like to dance you like to turn up you like you like you know know sometimes you got to show them other things besides being the the the dad you got to let them know like I’m human too
I like to have fun I like to do all this stuff like um I started working out with my son and it’s it’s like um blew his mind because I actually put the professional personal trainer on him and now he sees like oh wow this what you do
Oh okay oh this is fun oh wow dad you know like now that’s a whole another thing that we have to do together now now now he wants to train every every day Dad you ready yeah you ready so that was one thing I was so like man I’m
Finally glad we got on that level because now he always knew I was a trainer he always see me working out he always hear me talking to clients and all that good stuff but to bring him into my world let him see and then have
Fun with him man it just opened up a new era because like I said earlier he’s starting to get to the age where he’s starting to be like I’m going outside with my friends okay I’m going over here I’m like yo you ain’t going to come hang
Out with me you know yeah what about me and like now now he’s like hey Dad we going to workout today right like yeah you know so now we got a whole another thing to do so yeah reprogram that brain a little bit that’s dope man that’s
Beautiful bro yeah yeah man um man this this has been a super dope episode because like even in this episode like I’m learning things I’m learning there so much that I’m hearing that I’m learning from like you know as far as my patience and all because I’m thinking
Like yo if Ryan is going through all this you know what I’m saying he’s able to be patient and he’s able to to you know uh follow the spirit and do all this stuff I was like what’s my exactly saying and for those of you guys listening it’s never too late it’s never
Too late to to re reignite that bond with your kids or you know get to know your kids again because you know again even if you’ve been in your child’s life the whole time your children continue to develop and who they are begins to change at certain ages and it happens
Again and again um even throughout their adulthood like I’m I’m not even the same person I was a year ago or two years ago you know what I mean so it’s never too late to relearn who they are and build that Bond and uh you know what I’m
Saying just get after it as father man like you got to be ever present in some for a form of fashion in your children’s life because you know even though like we said like they gonna keep you at a distance until they ready for you and
Then they gonna put me in the game coach you know what I’m saying but but at the same time you gotta be there you got to be there you got to be there you know in that opportunity when they open the door to walk in that door you know what I’m
Saying um so yeah anything you got uh Angelo no I just want to commend Ryan like I said he’ uh he stepped up when he didn’t have to you know his his kid his daughter’s mom gave him the eye out and he he stepped up and he’s doing it he’s
Killing it right now and I I want to give you props you know you’re a king keep at it you know and you’re you’re an example that most followers need to be thank you B absolutely absolutely Diego I think uh like like uh Ang said man it’s uh I commend you that’s awesome
I don’t know what I would have done um when all of a sudden out of nowhere I have this eight-year old kid you know I mean especially when you already got plans for your life so the fact that that you actually had made the decision to move back and you’re very involved
With your kid uh you guys are building a good relationship that’s that’s awesome I mean I I can only imagine the struggles that you go through and I mean me with my kids having them uh all the time their struggles as they grow into teenage the the teenage ages
Because like you said there there’s they want to start doing their own thing now so that is not the fun thing right so for you to be able to understand that and also find a way to uh build a bond so it’s like you have
The patience of I don’t know man I I that’s super awesome I respect that a lot you know I mean and uh keep keep at it you know I mean you there’s no there’s no there’s no book on how to be a perfect dad or a perfect parent you
Know what I mean but inside you it always feels good like like d says just do what what it feels good and as a parent when you accept the fact that like this is my child you’ll do what what’s right for them you know I mean even if sometimes it might bother them
Um you know and you being a teacher as well so like that patience like you’re perfect for it so you know good look good doing that and you know command your big time so thank you brother absolutely Dez what’s good brother what’s on your heart and um Big Ups to
You I know that’s something that’s um that’s probably um that’s something a lot of people can’t can’t even begin to understand or feel so that’s amazing what you’re doing um and the reason why I can relate to that is because my my my close cousin he’s like my brother matter of
Fact I stay with him right now he um he didn’t know about his son until his son was two you know kind of like a same almost like a similar story um but he he found out when his son was two and so just to see him trying to make up and
Trying to um make his son what he want his son to be um is I’m I’m witnessing that so that’s two so I can only imagine how hard it would be for eight you know what I mean um just keep doing what you feel is right um don’t let that be a
Crutch though um I know you don’t want to be too hard and always be um you know enforcing discipline and all that but at the same time you got to stay on it and you do have to um put that discipline in her life and don’t let
That be a crutch because you haven’t been there no you need to be there now and you need to be the father and that comes with the disciplinary and that comes with fun and that comes with a lot of love so just keep doing everything um
Have fun with it and um God gonna bless you and your your your your your daughter is gonna love you because right now she’s eight but when you when you tell this story when she 24 25 26 bro she G She gonna look at you like
You Pharaoh bro you know what I mean so just um just do your best God got you everything gonna turn out great trust me you good thank you man appreciate it Ryan any last words before we sign out um I would say man just anybody that’s
Raising kids or or um you know I think it’s a lot of people even just not kids but they just don’t know what to do you know what I’m saying and or they may be feeling lost but I think if you just don’t I think the best thing is man just
Don’t give up you know what I’m saying you just got to keep you just got to keep taking action and absolutely I noticed that even know if you don’t know what to do if you always take action it always works out no matter what no matter which way you go it’s going to
Lead you to what you’re looking for um but you do got to take a step just don’t let fear stop you um from doing anything um with kids or or anything that you’re trying to do so um but yeah that’s all I wanted to say man I appreciate y’all
Having me on man I hope it really does impact some people man up some hearts you know what I’m saying so absolutely appreciate absolutely man we appreciate you yeah got the hearts get up how’ you do that huh how’d you do that like Diego did oh I did it Dam that’s crazy if
Y’all not if y’all listening on Spotify you can’t see what we doing jealous all these you got an Android you got an Android go away man I got an Apple computer it’s a Mac baby all right y’all uh so hey look this has been another edition of the
Fatherhood of school Super Man Ryan we thank you and we appreciate you for being on um thanks always to the guys Dez Angelo Diego U for showing up and showing out man um I love y’all look hey if you’re a father or father figure or whatever you want to call yourself out
There um we understand that you know you are challenged with the with the task of being a leader um you’re challenged with the task of you know uh being the head all right of the household you’re are challenged with the task of just being a man in general all right you are not
Alone all right you are not alone and I hate to make that sound all commercialized but you are not alone all right that’s why we that’s why we started this podcast all right that’s why you know we started this Brotherhood Man Behind fatherhood because man it’s it’s challenging already as it is and
You’re not the only one going through what you’re going through um the good and the bad all right so you know there are there are people out here that are experiencing things that you may or may not have experienced so look it’s okay all right like Ryan said just just keep
Taking action all right keep doing what you’re doing keep being great fathers out there we love y’all we appreciate y’all this has been another edition of the fatherhood exclusive and we’ll see y’all next week you dig stay strong Kings peace
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