I would have no luck in Denver I’ll tell you what I could go to Austin and be married in one Week hi guys hi guys welcome back to another episode of girls Gotti welcome back I am in jeans Raina the third time ever this is a cry for help look is even coming over to help you I love these jeans they’re stretchy so can we talk about the decision yeah
What you don’t like them I love I love your whole Vine I look great today but you can’t just come out in jeans when what a couple months ago you were like you must be a serial killer to wear jeans to record a podcast let’s talk
About these are my stretchy jeans I just got them at everl I love them but we were recording an ad for Vibes only in the house cuz we bought these new products and I just wanted to look like kind of cute so I’m wearing my target
Amore shirt and my new everlan jeans and we’re both in Birkenstocks we both we moved to California and became Birkenstock people so these if you’re watching on YouTube also we have another angle today hi to the second angle these are bergenstock collab with stucy sty how do you spell it oh no how
Do you Sparkle Eyes is going to be so mad I should have checked this the pronunciation you know that that’s like a 9s like Pack Sun style Brandy stiny [ __ ] can you look up sty versus sty anyway he loves that brand this is a gift this is a Christmas gift
One of my three gifts and I’m obsessed with these and them they’re an open toe but fur lined only we California and you said didn’t you say one of our friends was like this is the only place where you could be out here toes out with fur fur sandal
But I I’m like so obsessed with these AR they so fun I’ve been I’ve been I’ve been having fur sandals in this full white outfit with a black dog like I’m living on the edge oh I know he’s been so sweet lately he’s always so sweet I
Think we’ve been really bonding on the weekends like we do like a long hikee every weekend he did miss me but I really I’m really trying to give him his best life and I feel like it’s really paying off he’s been like really cuddly you know he’s not much of a cuddler he’s
Been really cuddly with me too I know well he knows you need help cuz you’re wearing jeans he knows I love these jeans I’m it’s not about that I’m not insulting the jeans excited about the jeans it’s just like I want to make sure you’re okay honestly well I did it cuz
We were filming some stuff I love my outfit today I look amazing I was like oh my gosh should I wear red every day forever you don’t need to be defensive I hate when you defend yourself and somebody’s like stop being defensive yeah I’m defending myself I
Think about you saying that all the time that’s my line defensive I hate that people will attack you and then say you sound defensive yeah well I’m defending myself you came at me I’m playing defense crazy said something about me and I dare to stick up for me like when
People you know are trying to like cancel someone or trying to take someone down or just attacking them and then they apologize which you know granted apologies are in order but then it’s like that sounded defensive well I don’t know you tried to ruin my life what did
You expect I hate like you sound defensive it’s like well I am defending myself there’s nothing wrong with playing defense sometimes there’s some things I hear in your voice specifically and that’s the one yeah I’m defending myself you attacked me okay aul is like cudd you know like a
Hard cuddle this is a hard cudd he is hard lean he like that with everybody right now it’s really you’re you’re so lucky does he like this with it’s really a blessing they do have a really cute Bond but like like they like he he lays
On his side of the bed when Sparkle Eyes is in the bed as lays over there he does me he only sits in my seat on this couch he he wants a dad he wants a two parent household so when you’re around the dad your little daddy okay we’re going to
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Suitcase in a minute I don’t even remember how to do it do you remember how to pack how do the airports work I this is the longest we’ve ever not traveled and we’re recording this a little ahead of time it’s like 3 weeks we haven’t traveled yeah I came back to
LA well you too we got back right after Christmas between Christmas and New Year’s and a full month I I’m not sure I’m like oh my God we’re such jet Setters I don’t think that we have been in La a full month since we moved here maybe the very first month the very
First month because you forced me to be I was like what are we going to do for the whole month and you I don’t know Raina like enjoy living in La no we the last year 2023 you were like let’s do shows in January and I was
Like Raina no we’re moving to a new place like we are giving it one full month so we haven’t had a full month here since last year in January it’s been great it’s been like relaxing and we kind of were having a little bit of a
Freak out like oh my God our lives are just slower they’re not as exciting me and then then it just got really nice and we leaned in and been making a a lot of plans and doing hikes I’ve been making plans I have an update for you I
You waited me out and I like plans you have it on your plan game if you guys are like newer to the show I always thought that I like really planned a lot Ashley plans and I just show up that is our Vibe always I don’t
Know she can plan for me you know you have like a couple friends you like trust their their plans Ashley’s that friend she’ll just be like here’s the itinerary and I’m like sounds good fam and also if it doesn’t sound good to me I didn’t volunteer to help so what are
You going to do about it right you can’t be mad you know so I have never been the planner in the relationship it’s always you you’re just like here’s the itinerary but La you make a plan or you’re not going anywhere and I started to feel like towards the end of the year
Like I have not left the house in a week like if you just don’t make plans you just don’t do anything here so I been really enjoying plans we’re going to go see Mean Girls we just have all these plans I’m excited last weekend as we were recording which is probably two
Weeks ago at this point but we it was Friday we were like oh my God we don’t have any plans and then I randomly saw that Christa Stefano was going to be here at the wi turn so we went and saw him and then Britney Schmidt who was our
Guest a few weeks ago filmed her special so we had like a full comedy weekend Andrew Santino did a guest spot on Chris’s show so we hung out with Chrissy and Andrew and we’re trying to get him on the podcast cuz he is just the [ __ ] funniest yeah we have not spent
This much solo time together socializing in a long time we don’t do a lot of social we do here Raina Welcome to our lives we’ve been saying that since we moved to LA we are hang out all the time solo we have the receipts we said on
This podcast oh Solo solo I mean but we’re always doing stuff it’s not just me and you me and you don’t go to dinner that would be crazy you asked me if I wanted to go to dinner or Britney show and I was like really that is the
Funniest thing right and I and I’ve never been like hey girl you want to go out to dinner you asked me if I want to go out to dinner on Sunday morning Britney’s show and I was like this is weird it was a little weird it was a
Little weird but we what I I said yes I was like she won’t fall through with us well then we end up going the early show whatever it’s like not important but we eat a ton of meals together and like we’ll go eat here and there but it’s
Very weird like I would never be like I should make a dinner reserv for me and Raina like we see each other all the time do you think it be make our relationship stronger if we did solo hangs at bars no why is everybody laughing at me that
Is so funny we’re like best friends life Partners you’re like should we go to bars hear me out hear me out we we go to happy hour ever heard of it ever heard of it we just don’t so we’re not just like hey you know be fun is a solo hang
Yeah cuzz I guess our whole lives are it’s a hang no you’re right we went like did the comedy shows together and it’s always a little awkward I feel weird when I’m alone with you are you I’m kidding are you serious I’m like what if we don’t have
Anything to talk about are you being serious I was kidding you were serious you were serious Raina I was like what’s it going to be you feel awkward around just for real I don’t you know some you just say yes to stuff you don’t even know what you’re
Agreeing to we saw this comedian say this thing the he was like can you just sometimes lie about stuff up here like sometimes people say Steven and I just say yes but anyway I want to back up cuz we are going to Miami and we were getting ready for Miami because we got
Our faces injected I thought you were going to say we have a show this weekend we do have a show let’s talk about our faces then we’ll talk about the show we went to Barrett Beverly Hills you know what’s so funny about that visit was
That so he Dr Barrett did my boobs my third boob job and I’m there all the time yeah I’m never not there getting laser work done having them look at my boobies they did an amazing job but I forgot you you hadn’t met him I met him
One time briefly in the hallway and I was like oh my God cuz I’m like a stand because I follow him on Instagram he’s incredible follow he’s a ton of followers he’s like a celebrity surgeon and I love his whole vibe I love his knowledge and how he’s really someone
That wants to make you look like natural and he doesn’t want to just inject you so you look like crazy and I just love everything he stands for and I love his videos and his Tik toks and his reals and stuff so I was like oh my God Dr
Barrett and then he did all of our procedures the other day so it was really like being in the best hands possible and just always want to say that that is like so important like just do what it takes to go to someone that is reputable you know you don’t need to
Be a double board certified surgeon like there’s amazing injectors every but like a really reputable practice is just so important cuz I’m like you were getting needles to the face things can go wrong it’s super rare but it never happens with the people that really know what
They’re doing and so I got my daify and I did my lip flip which is something that I have been getting that I really love and that is just I get Dax FY now but if you do Botox whatever and they just put a little bit of that on the top
Of your lip and it kind of makes your top lip look a little Fuller and not have like a gummy smile I’ve been getting that and really liking it and did a little filler and so did you and we just had a great experience and it’s like one of the it’s actually that’s
When we really Bond one-on-one that is yes we film each other we don’t go to dinner but we go get needles to the face together well I took laughing guas this time you did I don’t know if they do this for everybody I have no idea they
Are a practice that does pronox and so you can always request the Laughing guas yeah Ashley’s the doctor and it’s just so okay so it’s really funny so I always get chin filler CU it’s just long Ates my face um and I like the way it looks
But you always bruise from it like I always get like a little it almost looks like there’s like dirt on your it has nothing to do with Dr Barrett every time I’ve ever gotten it in my life it’s it’s very common to have little bruises from filler it’s a personal thing I’ve gotten
Jaw and never I don’t I’ve never bruised from filler no but I bring this up so I always I always bruise from filler but it was so funny because like in a New York I used to try to cover it up in La I just don’t like I went to aroan with
Like a big bruised chin cuz I’m just like everybody in La knows what that is like there’s just little pin prick bruises all over your chin and everybody’s like filler like men probably know what it is in La that’s so funny I went straight to lunch with
Britney at after I and you do look a little beat up you know like even just I don’t like bruise like Raina but you know I have little like you said needle Pricks a little blood like a little not a blood gosh let’s be real but you know
If you get BOTOX or filler you look a little [ __ ] up very briefly like by the time I go to bed that night I look totally fine but I go straight out into the world I don’t even think twice about it I went straight from getting Botox
And filler which you know like freaks me out so bad and I went straight to get laser I was like [ __ ] my whole face up and then [ __ ] my laser hair remov yes yeah raina’s on this journey too you guys I went straight and I was just like
Let’s knock it all out in one day so two weeks ago we talked about how a friend said she didn’t want to get laser hair removal on her [ __ ] because she doesn’t want to see it when she gets older so as in like she doesn’t want all the hair to
Be gone she just want to see her like wrinkled Sphinx cat [ __ ] I started thinking like after we recorded that I was like oh but it would be like gray which which is worse Gray gray bush or which is fine we just love gray hair you
Know but we love think it’s a privil my body hair is blonde it’s one step away but then I got a lot of DMS from listeners who work with the elderly who work in you know nursing homes or just are there nurses or they work in hospice
Which is just like such an honorable profession and they were like no you lose that hair you’re going to see it no matter what they were like you don’t have a full Bush at 80 ladies why you lose it you just Lo cuz you’re not using
It you don’t use it you so thank you to the girlies who messaged me and told me about ELD elderly [ __ ] now we know so don’t let that hold you back cuz you’re not going to have that full Bush anyway Rea I’m trying to spread the word
You know I can’t grow a full Bush anyways it’s always been your problem hey I’m insecure about it I want have like 1970s Bush I can’t grow it and like I want like a little volume there’s no volume Bush yes I have no Bush volume so
There’s no purpose in me having any bush cuz it’s not fun it’s not fun looking well I don’t know if I said this before but I threw in my legs last time so I’m getting my legs done if I can never shave again the Hobbies I’m going to
Pick up with that time I’ll have the amount of time I’m going to get back I can’t really cuz your legs are three times as long as my yeah it takes me an hour can you imagine never shaving again didn’t you tell me though that you don’t
Shave your thighs I don’t shave my thighs that’s insane there’s not a lot of hair up there like they’re not first of all it’s like sometimes I like a little like glisten there’s a break below your knees where the hair grows extra so this has come up I’ve seen this
In meme culture of like why don’t some girls do this cuz did our moms tell us not to our mom told us my mom did yeah like your mom may have told you don’t shave above your knees I just don’t really need to there’s not there’s
They’re not hairy up there so F so yeah I’m only getting laser my lower legs that’s a thing it’s on the menu lower legs 85 box a session I get really bumpy if I don’t shave my upper legs I never started and that’s crazy I’m not finishing I forget I forget that you
Don’t shave your thighs so sometimes when the light catches I’ll be like oh that’s a patch of hair but I don’t care it’s like pretty and blonde like but you don’t you don’t have the problem that I do it’s like it gets bumpy yeah there’s never been like a stubble situ on my
Thighs C you and then there’s no hair on like the backs of my thighs just cellulite I have all of it also last thing if you guys are coming to the Miami show if you’re coming to eat con with the infatuation coming to see us on February 4th which was Dewey’s Gotcha
Day R.P send us any stories or tea that you have if you have a roast of the friends you’re coming with if you have tea on your partner that you’re coming with or you just have like a crazy funny Miami dating story whatever you have for
Miami if you’re going to be in the audience share if we read your story you’ll get a gift I think we can say that we have a lot of stuff to give away we have some custom shirts just for Miami we’re going to be giving away and
Of course there are still some tickets left and so it’s just a you know $30 Festival pass and you get entry in and then you get to come to our show so we’re really excited so we will see you in Miami this weekend so on our show if
You guys are coming is Sunday at 4:30 p.m. so we’ll see you guys there we probably only have one other show besides this until September so come yeah we’ll see you there okay well speaking of vacations tropical destinations fruity drinks we have a new partner we’re going
To talk about and we’re going to have some fruity drinks non-alcoholic on air today yes natural Vitality calm we are really excited to partner with them and it really is just such a great way to just relax and unwind so I haven’t seen a lot on like Tik Tok and reals these
Nighttime relaxation mocktails I know and I’m like wait I want that like what what a way to spend your evening just crafting a delicious mocktail that’s going to also help you like relax and unwind and really just like end the day on such a good note yes and we’re going
To tell you guys a little bit about it so we’ve teamed up with natural Vitality C and you can get 20% off your purchase at natural vitality.com when you use the code gga2 so they have created some mocktails for us and we really love all the names
They did the tired of Faking It Fizz the Doom scrolling cery they got the ick Elixir resolution on the Rocks stuck in my old routini sick of going to the gym and tonic Sunday scaries and berries these are so fun but we actually went with one that we love the recipe and the
Flavor profile the most and this is the rent is way too high ball which we relate to living in New York City and and Los Angeles we were like how much money can we spend on rent it’s everything’s exp I mean everything is too high ball these days so it’s good
That stresses you out they sent us these ingredients I can’t stop drinking I feel like I’m going to get too calm yes it is 1 oz of the calm unflavored diluted which we’re going to show you guys 1 oz of fresh pineapple juice a/4 ounz of lime 4 ooun of
Grapefruit soda and then you garnish it with a half grapefruit wheel and a pineapple frond so this is your calm powder this is the unflavored drink mix and when you dilute it and you put some water in it it makes this really great fizzy sounds and we’re just such big fans yeah
And if you are not feeling thirsty they also have magnesium capsule and gummy options we try those as well they’re delicious go to natural vitality.com and use code gg20 for 20% off of your purchase okay so something I wanted to ask you about I like conversations to
Start with this do you ever see like a friend or a family member on Instagram or wherever Tik Tok trolling like sometimes positively but that you didn’t expect it it is like catching someone with their pants down I feel like I’m the person that does that
Like I’m the person in the page six like in the comments like talking [ __ ] on people like I worry that other people are going to see it but I do it sometimes cuz I’m like Ashley will see this at some point and it will like make
Her laugh yes I did used to catch you usually trolling about Tristan Thompson that’s how on All the gossip sites All the gossip accounts but I saw my brother my brother my brother is a new father he runs a company he is a busy no one’s busier than Matt Matt supports his
Family he is so busy all the time has time to be trolling about January 6 riers no I saw this on January 6th he took the day no he observed the day no there was some interview with some woman she was one of the like Infamous January 6th insurrectionist who like was banging
Through a insurrectionist yeah lab them as a community that’s the thing who is like going to jail which as all these people should be yeah and they were doing an interview with her and I didn’t watch the whole interview she wasn’t really giving too much remorse you know and
They’re showing clips of her like unhinged on January 6 outside the capital you’re scaling those walls you don’t have a lot of remorse you know doing like oops I didn’t mean to be there I disagree those people did not think they were going to go to jail I
Really think those people felt empowered to do what they did I don’t think empowered but I’m saying remorseful is different like nobody’s like I didn’t know what I was it was an accident you guys don’t get it who knows what those freaks thought but my brother like the
Story I mean listen I didn’t watch the whole interview but it wasn’t giving like Redemption story you know what I mean like she obviously is still probably like super Maga and I’m like I got to get this comment section top of the comment Matt hustle Chine have fun in prison
Goon you that your brother is trolling people on the he like ha have fun in prison you goon goon this makes me I love him so much this makes me like him even more he does not like get down like that but I was like I love what he stands for petty I
Know I love his stance on things and are you are your thing used to really be heavy on Tristan Thompson like I would always see you and whatever e newss page six saying just uhuh and it’s sometimes all right like if I feel like they’re really picking on somebody that doesn’t
Deserve it I’ll just write who cares yeah sometimes I’ll like random stuff on the internet hoping you’ll see it just to make you laugh like I’ll just be scrolling through like the feed and I’ll just like something random I’m like ashy maybe see that I’m involved in this yeah
And I don’t support like troll Behavior like I find it like really disgusting like don’t get it twisted but like January 6 riers tried to take down our capital building our democracy like sorry have fun prison goon goon have you ever heard him say that before or is this new to
You goon you think he was like got him I just think it’s so funny that people have a secret life did you mention this to him did you say like hey mentioned this to him yet I think you should like casually drop goon in a conversation a couple
Times and just see if he picks up on it like Ashley found out about my secret internet life yeah like it really feels like you just like walked in on somebody doing something you know when you like see I love it so anyway I think if it’s
Like all in good fun or it really is saying something like something like that I think it can be really funny obviously I don’t condone like trolling Behavior but yeah I like when you see people’s secret life I love it be funny if you were dating somebody and like you
Didn’t know and then you saw their secret troll life I don’t know what I would do I that’s it would give me the X so bad like those things like that is a fear when you newly are dating somebody like they have a that they have a weird
Internet life I mean you know that like I see guys have dated that have been like Comedians and I’ll see them post a clip I don’t like and I’m out on them so like this kind of stuff like like they put it on the internet knowing people
Are going to see that yeah knowing that I was going to see that like I once stated a guy and things were going great and we were getting to know each other and really liking each other and then I saw his Twitter and I was like I wish I never saw
This what are you doing I don’t who’s this fo like it will really like turn you off [ __ ] yeah I mean like that’s a normal person comedians I can’t if it’s worse or better but if I see you like you’ve dedicated your life to the craft and you
Post a clip and I’m like did you forget to tell a joke yeah it gives me the X so bad right where’s the joke it is crazy to remember the days where you saw people’s likes that is insane like that was that’s that was a crazy time I know
Like you could see people’s what what they were liking like in your feed is that what who they were following remember the whole news feed was just like meant to catch your boyfriend doing shady [ __ ] like it was designed to catch someone Shady doing shady [ __ ] like why
Else did that exist that was crazy I feel like they really removed a tool a tool that really helped people catch you why they do that I think cuz people were like I will take you down Mark okay do you ended my marriage Mark maybe that’s why but like I miss
That do you have the thing turn I have it turned off so I can’t see other people do you have the thing that says like the last time you were active oh like in the DMS no I had that turned off so long ago it’s so funny because people
Will be like Ashley I can’t respond to your story I’m like yeah it’s not fun accident you know when we first started to get like a following people would just it would be just my whole inbox would be strangers being like ha I’m like no you can’t like just respond yeah
I turn that off someone will like send me my story and be like I couldn’t respond to your story I’m like that’s the point yeah did on purpose we love you guys but you know we did it on purpose even my now boyfriend couldn’t respond to my story when he first D
Me he D it’s no shade I heard from this Ashley you’re going to die I have an update what okay I heard from this guy yesterday what December 30th 2022 okay this guy was trolling Jeremy like my best friend Jeremy your friend Jeremy and it was funny it made me laugh
And so I and he was well he was like 6’4 so uh he was hot so I slid into his DMS he Rea I swear to God if someone’s ever trolling me and you’re like I could [ __ ] him I’ll be so mad at you like where’s your loyalty I was sitting next
To Jeremy when I did so he knows I did this okay I think he told Jeremy like I’ll I’ll VMA you point2 cents to shut the [ __ ] up something like that was it was like in good fun yes it was in good fun so I said the two cent fenmo was
Very funny we’re laughing about it so he and I like dm’d a little bit I remember this It’s All Coming Back to Me It’s All Coming Back to Me Now he he basically asked me to hang out if you want to grab lunch today recently December 2022 oh back then if you want
To grab lunch or something would love to show you some some gems in LA and so I said that that’s great I’m down he said I’m on it my Sunday’s open what do you like in LA yeah so we moved to LA in January the very end of December of 2022
So I’m telling this guy moving to Venice he asked me what’s your plan next Sunday I tell him d moving he said great we’ll chat soon and I said great let’s and then he gives me the high five and then I never hear from him again okay until
Yesterday they always come back hey hope your first year in La was a blast stop it hope you had a good year that’s insane righta cuz people plans inside January of 2023 I thought we were going to hang out Sunday the first week of January hope you’ve had a good
Year do you hear me like someone touches Basse on a Monday hope you had a good weekend he touches base a year later hope you’ve had a Good Year hope you had a good year he said have a good weekend and we’ll chat soon I said yes a year
Later December 30th 2022 and yesterday oh yeah this is insane yesterday hey hope you first you’re now it was a blast just following up here casual 12 months later to see if you want to grab a bite I’m obsessed with this and I said you just wanted to see
If I’d survive the first year and I’ll let you guys know what happens that’s his requirement to date someone they have to make it one year yes he’s hot actually oh I remember this it’s all coming back to me yeah yeah yeah he is just what is it called he’s
Circling the um the [Laughter] drain the wagons that’s not what that means what do Circle the wagon that means like if Sparkle Eyes and you broke up I would like send a group text to everybody and be like it’s time to circle the wagons oh just get everybody you in love oh
Okay that’s what like circle the wagons means oh I thought it meant when a guy just contacts every girl he’s ever had interaction with to see who can bite but I like circling the drain okay I have he hasn’t gone down the drain yet yes he’s just circling stuborn
Hair yes e okay actually I have a I had a debate with somebody about this speaking of like terms that are misused so I sent Melanie this text I was making fun of Taylor Swift not laughing at Joe hoy’s joke we were just talking about that which I am glad she didn’t laugh
Because his monologue was terrible and after the Barbie joke the Taylor Swift joke was whatever I think if it had been a different host she would have laughed yes if he had told those jokes and I was her I would have sat there Stone Cold to make a statement but anyway obviously
We’re talking about the Oscars so Golden Gloves the golden Glo it’s the same thing no the Oscars and the Golden Globes the Golden Globes are similar to the Oscars they’re just like more fun and they’re not the same thing the Academy Awards and the Oscars are the
Same oh okay so I knew like two things was the same thing did you that’s not what I was debating okay so anyways I was just like it doesn’t surprise me that Taylor Swift like isn’t like playing into this she just doesn’t seem like somebody that whatever so
Melanie she called me back and she said you’re barking up the wrong tree here that is so funny she called you like right here parking up the wrong tree with this and she said and I do like a a check with myself I’m like barking up the wrong tree to me
And I want you to explain this to me like it means like you have entered the wrong neighborhood here yeah do not [ __ ] with me don’t [ __ ] with me on this and and can’t wait to finish so funny she’s like you’re barking up the wrong
Tree and I hear her say that I’m like I bet you she couldn’t identify more than three Taylor Swift songs she does not care well it’s she doesn’t care also you’re barking up the wrong tree is like a threat that’s what I said and I said
You did not use this in the right context you called me and you said you’re barking up the wrong tree which is what my parents used to say to me right before I got hit and she said that’s not what that means and don’t bring your childhood trauma into this
What if she think it means she said it just means like I don’t like a dog fight that’s the term and I was like she’s getting her dog phrases confused they going back and forth about this for a long time she was like it just means means like I don’t know
Anything about this I don’t care about this like she doesn’t know anything about Taylor she has no thoughts or feelings like she knows she’s a person and I’m sure she’s list s she doesn’t care did you guys ever once think to Google this no I said I specifically
Said it’s a threat yeah it’s it has a negative like aggressive connotation it doesn’t mean like I don’t care I mean to her point I guess there’s a world in which it’s like you’re telling this to the wrong person you know what I mean at its Baseline it does mean that but that
You’re bring up the wrong treat is supposed to be said in a threatening manner it’s not like you’re talking to the wrong person what what is she trying to say she just meant I have no dog in this fight she just meant like I have no
Thoughts or feelings about it I I said like doesn’t surprise me Taylor Swift can’t take a joke and I think she just meant I don’t I couldn’t tell you yes or no I don’t care got it yeah I get that cuz there’s some people you know every
Once in a while you’ll tell something to a friend or your boyfriend or whoever and they’re like I’m the wrong audience I’m the wrong wrong audience yeah J said don’t BR can I see wrong audience good answer when she said don’t Bray your childhood trauma I’m so dead so I really
Was like does everybody know that this is a threat or am I wrong so I think that I think I’m right and everybody knows I love that you Googled this and there’s just a bunch of pictures of Tree Cartoons it’s to be pursuing a mistaken or misguided line of thought or course
Of action she sent me that and I was like that’s wrong yeah to his wife thinks is Under Suspicion but I’m sure she’s barking up the wrong tree yeah I mean I do think of it as more of a threat but I guess it can mean you’re looking in the wrong direction she
Literally sent me that definition and like the last time I probably said that cuz I don’t I don’t really work that phrase into my life that often yeah my dad’s my dad’s last wife was like talking [ __ ] on my fiance to me and I she just kept doing it and laughing and
I was like you’re barking up the wrong tree on this one yeah and I think it can mean just misguided but I think she just meant to say like wrong audience yes I also listen and I just want to Circle back like you want to Circle the
Drain I want to Circle the Drain on this is people were asking me what I thought of Joe Koy monologue and this is like so dated at this point but I thought it was bad I thought he completely bombed you know and then he started to blame his
Writers and his lack of preparation or timing and all that kind of stuff but the Barbie joke was just trash and so I do think if like Ricky deres or even Jim Gaffigan would have made that joke to Taylor Swift she probably would have laughed also if you write a joke about
Me I’d like it to be funny like what he said about her so when we but it was a joke about the NFL like I wouldn’t I would be like that’s how you got I didn’t mind the joke I I think it was like at that point everyone was so out
On him understandably so really was the Barbie thing that just did it for me so I like that she just like sipped her wine and was like shut the [ __ ] up but I really didn’t hate that joke as much I kind of thought it was like a little bit
Of a dig at the NFL and I didn’t think it was like that bad but I like that she made a statement by being like shut the [ __ ] up up mhm I see what you’re saying yeah I didn’t think it was a joke about her really notoriously I don’t think
She’s so great at taking a joke yeah there’s some other instances not going to get into it I’m not trying to get attacked by the swifties because we do like Taylor Swift but there’s been sometimes when I’m like ah she could have I would have let that roll off my
Back being the most famous person in the world and who knows what she had been dealing with that day yeah you know that week that month that year yeah so anyways I just I’m glad that we unpacked your barking up the wrong tree yeah and we have one quick Vibes announcement
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Way off for okay so our topic today we are so excited to talk about best and worst cities to date in and this is something that rain and I truly feel like we are experts in we have traveled the country the world really but we’ve especially in the US and just really
Made it our business to find out what dating is like in these cities when we’re on tour when we go on dates ourselves like when we talk to our friends like I feel like I have a really deep understanding of what it’s like to date in a lot of the larger cities in
America I mean when you think about the last like six years of the podcast I’ve dated people Denver uh Charleston I’ve dated Los Angeles New York obviously Chicago Dallas like I’ve really [ __ ] around the country a lot yeah but even the information that we’ve gotten from our listeners and our audience like
Every time we would go to a city we would ask what the dating scene was like we would talk to people at length you know we’re like going to brunch with a bunch of our girlfriends that live in that City a lot of whom may have the
Exact same or similar experience and so we have such a grasp on this on top of reading the books and reading the Articles and Gathering the statistics and so I just want to say that like I really feel so excited to do this topic Justice and something that we have
Breadcrumbed here and there but haven’t really deep Dove on yeah I mean you really like glazed over a little bit but every city that we’ve performed in really like all over Ohio and Texas and Florida like everywhere we ask you guys what it’s like to we compile a whole
List of what is the dating scene like here and we can give you like a real profile of all of them we’re not going to do all of them even though that’d be fun maybe in a coffee table book someday we’ve talked about it but I feel like I
Really have like a profile of what people are like in every city yeah and I want to just give a disclaimer that like this is just it’s not meant to be discouraging you can find someone anywhere all you need is one I remember early on when I was dating and you know
Trying to find somebody maybe when I was like in my 20s a guy friend said that like all you need is one that’s not some like hot take but it really you know unless you want to be in some polymer situation but really all you need is one
Like you just need to find one person and there are tons of people and I’m not a big believer in like one person on this Earth for everybody I think you can make it work of course you find somebody and you fall in love you’re like that’s
My soulmate you know but I do really just don’t want this to be like it’s all bad out there and we’re going to say you know we will make generalizations that may not be your experience and we understand that you can’t generalize every person in a city like we’re going
To say some things and you guys like well that’s not my experience and you know we just want to be clear that there’s no way to do that you know you can’t say like all the people in the city are like this cuz that’s not true
But it really may be a common theme and it really may be an experience that the majority of people have I think that most people are like my city is the worst to dat in I we get that so much when we go to every city and I think
Just in general the dating field has changed the landscape of availability of options has just changed in every single City and I think how respectful people are to you and the amount of ghosting that goes on just in general that’s accepted and hookup culture casual sex culture has just led to everything
Sucking a little bit more and I just think that like we have to reframe this it’s because every person believes that their city is the worst city to we’ll get to it for like X reason but like you have to be able to find ways to enjoy it
And I do think think that like we have a lot of advice and insight into like this is how to just maximize your opportunities or potentially move to a new city to maximize your opportunities fish with the right pole fish with the right pole and just to reference some
Previous episodes we love John Berger he is an author and an analyst I guess you could call him that came on years ago his first book was called data nomics and the second book was kind of a follow-up to data nomics called make your move and he came on it was an
Episode called where are all the decent men with author Johnn berer G anuary 2021 and we loved the book so much but also he wrote it before the pandemic and So Co changed a lot of things too like everything is different now with working virtually and things are a lot different
Than they used to be in terms of like everybody in this industry lives in this city or most people you know like people are just working remotely and so it’s kind of changed those cities too like Austin is a completely different city now than it was in 2019
2015 like it feels like La light the these days you know like it has just changed drastically which some people like some people don’t but I use that as an example too so some things from the book are dated just because they’re dated yeah I also think that people
Aren’t socializing the same way as they used to I mean you just don’t have hundreds of people pouring out of every office building at 6 o’clock every day and going to bars and happy hours and so I think just the landscape has changed in general and I just I refuse to
Believe like it’s all bad out there you know there’s just you got to kind of like change your perspective yeah and the other episode where we mentioned this was in 2023 about freezing your eggs and that was with Marsha inhorn who came to us through John right um and we
Talked about some of the cities in that too but the overarching theme is when there are more men and less women in a city you know single available the women are treated generally better the men want to commit more women are just more of a commodity and that’s kind of
Where that balance com comes in and then in populations where the women really outnumber the men there is a general feeling that you may feel like guys think they’re just going to find something better you feel more disposable a lot more of the bad behavior goes on in general like that is
Kind of how it shakes out and that’s what John’s book is about and that’s what you really see and you know unfortunately you know we’re talking about heterosexual relationships we talk about this in men and women but men and women don’t want to live in the same
Places a lot you know like you have a lot of women want to be like I want to live in New York or LA and that’s what they do and then the men go to Denver outnumber and then the men are in Alaska you know like that’s the theme that we
Just want to talk about and that’s why when we talked with John and you’ll read a lot of Articles and whatnot like San Francisco was a lot better for women and Seattle we’ll get to it we’ll get to the debunking that you guys did when we asked you on Instagram but there were
More cities that really are more in favor of the women because there’s more men mhm we should go there well not you anymore you’re like a year into your relationship I don’t know why I really made me laugh we should go there have a boyfriend I’ll go there I’ll wingman all
Day someone emailed and they were like this is for Raina how do you deal with being single that’s how the email started what it was like three sentences I think I it’s embarrassing what no it’s not embarrassing I’m just looking our emails one’s old hairless [ __ ] yeah okay the
Email is question for Raina how do you deal with being single can we get a 2024 single girl self love podcast I feel like that’s me every week that’s me every week and that’s the last five and a half years of the podcast I mean I was a single icon
From most of the show for five years don’t do me like that yeah I’ve had boyfriends I remember this question is for Raina how do you deal with being single it was amazing I’m pretty happy my life my life is pretty great and my best friend’s boyfriend lives across the country
That’s how I deal with it so what spawn this conversation is this this episode was your idea but I just I love this so much is that there was a study that came out by a company called wallet Hub and it was best in worst cities for singles 2024 you can
Look it up and a ton of news outlets picked this up so it’s in the New York Post it’s in timeout it’s and what they did post everybody picked it up and they based it on a few different things I also want to say this is singles this is
Not necessarily women so it really just said if you’re single and ready to mingle the city you live in could be helping or hurting your chances of finding love this was the new study again it’s a personal finance company and they measured 182 US cities across 35 indicators of dating friendliness
That falls into three main categories economics fun and Recreation and dating opportunities so that would be the share of the population that’s single so they did use those metrics but again like you have to keep the gender balance in mind as well um which it says that they did
Keep that in in mind but some of this you know we also asked you guys on Instagram we got tons thousands and thousands of responses and it all felt in line with what we’ve gathered over the years as well you know like a lot of cities just have a common theme like
Across the board so some of your answers really wouldn’t align with this but I’ll read maybe the top 10 and you do the worst yes okay so best cities for singles they rank these some of you guys are going to listen and be like screaming that’s your fun that’s your
Device but just this is not our study number one was Seattle two Las Vegas three Denver Four Atlanta five Austin six Reno Nevada s Tampa eight Madison Wisconsin nine Tucson Arizona and 10 Portland Oregon and then after that we have like Rapid City South Dakota San Francisco Cincinnati Juno San Diego
Minneapolis Boise Pittsburgh Honolulu and Portland Maine and those are the top 20 but I’ll tell you what it’s not even close to the top 100 it’s New York City New York is 144 out of what 180 something I said so low on the list and
La is 29 so not terrible so 29 29th best yeah or whatever 150 worst yeah so the quote unquote worst cities for singles are just smaller places Columbia Mar land Warwick Rhode Island Brownsville Texas glendell California Pearl City Hawaii do Delaware Ashley I know I
Couldn’t believe it I was like do made a list I kind of got excited we’re just honored to be mentioned Jackson Mississippi hlea Florida Little Rock Arkansas and Winston Salem North Carolina and then rounding that out is Yonkers New York so I mean just smaller places where there’s a
Smaller population there’s less to do there’s less opportunities to meet people OB obviously well we’re going to share our audience responses and break those things down but I mean what do you think what do I think are the best and the worst yeah let’s let’s hear it I
Mean I loved dating in New York I did I loved it so much I liked the act of dating in New York I thought it was just so accessible to like go to a bunch of places it was really easy to meet people if I was sitting at home by myself for a
Night I could just walk to a local bar like I can’t do that as much in La like I’m just I’m not going to walk in the middle of the night by myself so I thought dating was very accessible in New York you could get to the date
Quicker and there was just an endless opportunity of things to do and you and I have had so many fun dates in New York they’re just all night long you go to like four different locations there’s just so much to do there so I love that
And I do think there is a very high population of high functioning men there that make a lot of money that are Highly Educated like it’s the type of people if you are an educated woman that’s seeking out another educated man with a great job the population of people doing that
Is pretty high unfortunately per like John Burger’s book is that there’s so so many women in New York City that are also gorgeous and educated doing cool stuff and so you’re just up against a lot that’s that’s the issue with New York is I feel like men and this is my
Experience maybe not every but they’re a little non-committal because they don’t have to be yeah if you’re a good-looking man in New York City and you make a couple bucks you don’t ever have to settle down not even good-looking literally the most average men you just
You don’t have to settle down also like you don’t have a biological clock obviously so like you don’t have a finite amount of time to have children it’s just some of these cities that have like High powered men with a lot of money that are average enough looking
They never have to commit and you really can have it be a playground forever you know you’re not going to be feeling that pressure you know people stay single in New York forever AB in their 50s 60s whatever you know you love to see it too
You know I love to see women who have chosen that life for themselves and are thriving and you know per studies living longer we should talk about that sometime you know unmarried women how they like live the longest whatever but like you don’t feel those pressures from your community and your friend group
Necessarily I mean of course you can again there’s these are not like hard set and stone rules but like I think about Sparkle Eyes and he lives you know right outside of Boston he’s not like right in the inner city in southy with all his Bros but you know his friends
Are settling down I mean he’s in his like you know early mid-30s like he is one of the last ones to not have a partner you know so he’s feeling that from his friend group so to that point if you remove dating completely I enjoyed being a single person in New
York City more than I enjoy it in LA because I just felt like there isn’t this pressure to get married to have children like if I move back to Pittsburgh all my friends are married with Children I would not enjoy being a single person there cuz you’re just sort
Of like this odd man out all the time I never felt like the odd man out in La uh I don’t feel sad about being single here there are definitely less opportunities to like go out here a little bit but New York was my favorite place to be a single person if you
Remove the dating aspect well I someone wrote it’s the best and the worst and I think that defines it completely you know I feel like lowkey traumatized from dating in New York for six years but I also had the most fun dates you know I have the most fun dates now on my
Partner but you know when I was on the on the scene you know yeah like the single girl dates and dates with strangers and running around going to new places and I think La you know I think that I’ve gone on dates here and so was Raina and just talking to all of
Our friends and hearing from our listeners and you just get a lot more flakiness you get more shallow people and people just feel like there’s like weirdos and people that are a little too woo woo and there’s just all kinds of things but it falls into a lot of
Different buckets but I think people really feel that lack of commitment to the date just a lot of flakiness definitely and I feel like the thing that I liked in New York a little bit more people say I find this varied some people say in their cities like men
Don’t approach you I feel like a New York men always approached me like I was able to open up conversations with people more than I feel like here we always joke that like it’s it’s not cool to like act like you’re having fun outwardly in LA and so I think it’s a
Little less common that somebody would like walk up to you but it does happen I met a bunch of guys at AA the other night in Venice like they walked right up to us cuz there was a magician walking around the bar but maybe that is
Also like a good tip that like if you feel that you live in a city where men don’t approach you go to a place where there’s sort of like a shared activity with people yeah yeah where you are teed up to have conversations totally and then you know the other main city I’ve
Dated in is Atlanta and it’s you know changed since I lived there I moved away at the very end of 2016 which was a great time to leave the south after Donald Trump won the presidency but of course in the South you can feel that people don’t necessarily share same
Values we’ve heard that a lot of like Texas and different places like Missouri just all over where you feel like people just have more conservative values if those aren’t the values that you share I just felt like in Atlanta I didn’t think it was so unbalanced there are more
Women you I definitely feel that more beautiful women I think that’s a general theme in the south is just like the women are stunning and the men are just not it and you just see this like frumpy dude and khakis and a boat shoe and croakies and like 12 pastel polo with
The hottest woman you’ve ever seen like I went to Clemson I was like I can’t with the guys here like I’m going athletes only these guys are [ __ ] ugly but you know there’s a southern look and I think Atlanta Atlanta’s different the two than you know like the de Atlanta’s a Cosmopolitan Progressive
Blue City you know for the most part and it’s also a heavy black population of course and race plays into that too but I think you got to think about what you’re looking for like are you really wanting the guy that is hot successful former frat guy kind of [ __ ] boy you
Know rolling around in the scene probably doing some drugs here and there and he’s like exciting and hot and popular but like that’s probably not the guy that you know makes you feel secure and stable and I think you got to think about what you want we have a friend
That really years of that she was always going after those guys and she finally just was like wait a minute I’m just going after the wrong type of guy and she found this like really incredible guy he is doctor he is super kind he wasn’t in the scene like that not white
Which I can’t recommend enough and you know she just was like went for a different type of dude and so I think that’s something you have to think about I found that in that City too like that’s my ex like wasn’t in that scene you know like there’s definitely like a
Party scene there’s people that can feel really clicky and people all went to Georgia or this or that and they were the fraternities and sororities and it’s like you think you want to be a part of it you might think you want like Big Man
On Campus and that’s not going to be the guy that you have a solid relationship with I think that goes for a lot of different cities I think so too and I think that you do have to sort of shop outside of the norm if you’re going to
Live in those cities like I don’t think that people move to New York and LA to find a partner there’s definitely cities that people are like um we will talk about should you move to find a partner like Austin and Denver are the cities you just hear time and time again I
Moved there to find a partner no one’s going to New York and LA to find a serious relationship and less people want relationships today than ever like this study said that 57% of single adults aren’t interested in a relationship or casual dating right now and I don’t know the age of the people
That they surveyed but less people in those cities are looking for it and so like you probably have to shop outside of the norm so like you said our friend found that doctor like she isn’t dating somebody that like is in the party scene so I think if you’re in those cities and
You’re like this is such a party scene you to find a way to shop outside of that scene listen the only person I ever heard of about moving to New York for love was a fictional character it was Jennifer Hudson and Sex In The City the
Movie and she said she moved to New York love and then what did she do got back with her ex from her hometown so I know slews of girls that moved to New York City with their partner and their partner left them pretty much immediately that’s dark no I
I’m not listen if here’s the thing I also want to talk about this I Al think it’s important to address people of color queer people and their dating experiences as well because I was reading I read another article where it was like where are the best cities for
Black people to date not that we don’t support in really racial relationships like I’m in one but you know I I we got some responses on when we did Instagram like I feel out of place here as a black woman or I feel like I’m not seeing a
Lot of people that look like me I mean that affects your day and experience as well so like DC was a top City when it comes to that Atlanta Detroit some cities like that and then of course when it comes to being someone who’s not straight where you’re like the best city
In the world is going to be New York you know that is the most diverse you’re going to see everybody every race every gender every sexual orientation so I think that’s important to remember too that we’re not just talking about like a homogeneous group of people when it
Comes to dating cuz like straight dating and queer dating is a totally different thing in like different cities too you know yeah I think that was really well said yeah I think you want to date in a city where you feel represented whatever that means to you so you know that
Experience may vary and you know if you were somebody who is a queer person and you live in some super conservative town in the South or the Midwest or wherever like I would assume you wouldn’t feel like that’s a good scene for you and New
York is going to be like a playground or you know like San Francisco or of course even Atlanta even and the same goes for race as well so the thing that I have really learned is I have learned such a lesson in like the type of guy I thought
I was going to be with I’ve said this before but since we’re talking about cities like I just thought I had to be with somebody who lived in New York or la like I just thought that would be the only person who would like match my energy and my lifestyle and it just
Wasn’t it was so wrong you know like R is just looking at me like yeah [ __ ] I know I knew you were wrong I know like I just say this again because I can’t reiterate it enough to be open to where someone lives and don’t get in your own
Way yeah so I want to talk about moving to the type of city that you should live in and this article isn’t the be all end all but it’s just a nice thought starter and this woman is quoted in the article saying the city has a high population of
Singles and is packed with activities you’ll enjoy then you’ll have a better chance to meet someone sure but I think you have to go after the type of singles that you want to be with and I think that you have to go after the type of activities that you like everybody wants
To move to Denver to find somebody I would hate it there is not one activity in Denver that I want to do I don’t bike I don’t ski I don’t Camp I’m not an outdoor girl let’s get into it cuz the the alternate title for this episode is the truth about
Denver Raina it’s it the our responses I mean and this is the city that listen I have not lived there I feel like I have a grasp on what women are dealing with there so deeply we have girlfriends there all of my friends that have mooved there from our listeners echoing the
Same sentiment like it really was this whole menver moved to Denver that’s where all the guys are but you really have to think about the type of guys and now what we’re hearing and Jenny has found a great guy there I have another friend who found a great guy either like
That’s not to say you can’t find a great guy either Jenny’s relationship I’m like obsessed with it Jenny’s also super Outdoors they want to be doing stuff all the time like if you were not a person who really wants to ski and hike and do all those things I think you might feel
Like a little bit of an outsider there not say you can’t find somebody but that is like the common theme but we have heard in Denver specifically postco from everyone all the women that it’s really hard to nail a guy down guys don’t want to commit they are flaky and they just
Want someone to you know an activity buddy an activity buddy but really not a girlfriend if that’s what you’re wanting to get into relationship and it is really the prevalent theme that we’ve heard about that and especially postco I think people had a lot of luck there
Years ago and it’s really felt like it’s changed like we got nothing but complaints about it and we love the city listen we love Denver I I don’t want to be so discouraging but it it was this thing that people were moving there for and overwhelmingly the women have said
That’s not really the case well also maybe the pendulum swung like maybe people just like stormed Denver got all the a aailable men and exited and now like it’s just it changed people found out about Denver I true and like we just I’m looking at what else like people
Said just not a lot of substance you you see everybody is the cliche dating at prompts want a ski partner but no commitment Peter Pans this kind of thing too and I don’t want to go so hard in Denver cuz like we’ve seen great relationships come out of there and our
Great guy friend Brian lives there and he’s such a wonderful eligible guy I don’t know what his day and stats is at the moment he wants to ski and bike and hang out not commit I think he wants a partner but I think he wants someone matches his lifestyle and he’s like top
Tier outdoorsy guy he’s like hiking whatever uh what’s the highest mountain killamanjaro [ __ ] like that is that true you are the kind of like Jenny is the kind of person that she wants to go to a music festival every other day she likes to go skiing like she will do all those
Things I would have no luck in Denver I’ll tell you what I could go to Austin and be married in one week can we talk about Austin should we get into our city breakdown yeah let’s talk about like City breakdown okay let’s get into the cities you guys are probably waiting for
Your cities Austin I feel like I want to suck a dick every three steps the men physically are my exact type everybody is so masculine Austin got good ratings a lot of people said Austin is transient which I do see people might be passing through moving there for a tax break you
Know a lot of people in entertainment a lot of people in comedy move there and that might not be where they would stay and a couple other things people may hate on Austin but guys will actually ask you to meet here instead of pen paling and then someone wrote Austin was
Wet dream for me I got to try all the different flavors until I found what I liked again these are just a few people’s experience but the overall prevalent theme was like you can make this work for you I also think tons of opportunities to meet people like it is
Just an endless amount of like daytime drinking activities with music and barbecue and people in groups and people will approach you and I could get a boyfriend in Austin in a week okay CLE which was number one on the list you guys hate it you hate it Seattle boys are all
Depressed Seattle not a lot of diversity nerds all caps well okay what I will say about Seattle is cuz I work for Amazon it’s the it’s the major Hub of Amazon so I think that it probably ranked really high because it is a lot of educated High earning individuals with great
Long-term earning potential and there is a great dining scene like on paper Seattle [ __ ] well and then I love that you said that because another comment that I wrote down was generally the men and women not in Tech Amazon Microsoft are pretty great dates listen no those
Are great jobs but that’s a good sentiment if you don’t want a tech bro then don’t find a tech bro like there are people in these cities that have a stereotypical occupation that don’t have those occupations you know what I mean like you can find guys in San Francisco
That aren’t Tech Bros you can find guys in La that aren’t trying to be actors and models you know you can find guys in New York that aren’t Finance Bros like these are the stereotypes but you can find those guys like I every single person on this list said Boston is short
And my man is 63 like you can find people who don’t fit the stereotypes no we’ll get into it but it was just like short King short King short King short King short King there is something in the water in Boston people said a scientist needs to study it but I do
Think you know again like there’s a reason why Seattle ranked high in that list it was in John’s book and you know you can make it work for you but I want to validate the people that are like I’m not finding what I’m looking for and I
Thought I would it seems on paper to me like a great place actually my ex who lived in La was from Seattle and so I spent a lot of time there with him and there’s just a lot to do like it’s a great dining scene people are educated
And they should be fun and it’s just dark so they’re a little depressed it gets dark at like 3 o’clock sometimes I know I’m going to throw a couple wild cards out Rea hit me dating in Santa Fe as a 22-year-old woman is incredible options Galore and nobody knows about it
Well they do now someone else also wrote I hate Dan in set but for every good one there was also a bad one and I want to throw another positive one out there Park City a lot of very fun and attractive men but not many people are
Here to stay and when we talk about Park City and we talk about some cities in like Wyoming it’s where a lot of like Rich Young entrepreneurial people are going for tax Havens also but Park City what like that’s all the rich people right that is the rich people yeah so
That’s you looking for is Sundance in Park City or is Sundance in Sundance Sundance a place it’s a festival yeah sometimes they name it after the place Tazza it’s in partk City okay okay great I knew it that’s a place where you can go snag yourself someone
With money but I also understand how that can be transient too but we’ve heard that over and over like ladies you got to get your ass to Park City you know what we’ve heard in every single City without fail is if there’s like a major sports team that will be
Somebody’s entire personality that is just across the board listen you just got to let them you just got to let them that that that can be their personality some of the time time like that’s heavy in Boston and Philly I don’t think we like hear that out of San Francisco but
Like we hear Boston Philly you know the Eagles are your whole personality you wear jerseys out in the town Pittsburgh’s like that Pittsburgh Pittsburgh sports teams in general are your entire personality and wardrobe you’re just wearing puffy jackets Penguins puffy jackets that’s everybody’s wardrobe and you just you
Got to let them to an extent I’m not having somebody that has an obsession that controls their whole life sure I’m not doing it totally the Eagles L we can’t [ __ ] that’s crazy people in Pittsburgh are like that though I’m sad too the season’s over yeah my [ __ ] is
Ready to take some when in Pittsburgh like if the Steelers lose like people act like they lost a family member yeah like a regular season game yeah and that’s a lot what happened to the Eagles this year is like I someone needs to study it 10 and one to being the worst
Team I don’t understand losing to wild card game by like a record loss like I can’t whatever Portland listen Portland is weird in the best way and we love it but you guys agreed we got a lot of lot of polyamory a lot of ethical ethical Nom
Monogamy that’s a huge huge huge thing in Portland people say they don’t have jobs um we’ve been hearing that since day one about Portland and this is kind of dismal but where intelligent beautiful single women go to die alone I just I don’t think unlik it’s the kind of the opposite Seattle is
Known for people that like work at Amazon and like are highly educated in Tech maybe if you’re seeking out somebody who’s like Highly Educated that has some like corporate job Portland is not a hub for that and I think the people there are super smart and if you
Want to date somebody that works for Nike go to Portland but yeah and if you’re just you know a little crunchier a little crunchier yeah like we love the progressive agenda we love all of it if you want a compost love that okay can we talk about DC please DC
Is so funny cuz I have like such a clear picture of my ex is from DC so DC in was it Marsha’s book Marsha in Horn it was like rough for for women which which is so interesting to me because again it’s similar to Seattle in the sense that
Like you have a very specific type of person there and I would go there if I was looking for that type of person highly educated in politics that’s really their whole personality well I think the women outnumber the men strongly in DC people just really feel like uh it’s the political type super
Opportunistic what we heard when we were would do shows there was the first question that everyone asks you is what do you do for work so you really get that but at the same time like I said there is like one of the larger black populations someone wrote I met my
Boyfriend in DC lots of international people someone wrote everyone is smart and attractive lots of young people starting out their profession and then someone ended it with DC is unparalleled worst last minute date cancellations because of national news but again there’s people in DC that don’t work in
Politics yeah my ex is a lawyer you know not a political one like you know what I mean it has this rep of just all these people that want to be on Capitol Hill and it’s just that’s not necessarily everybody but also if that’s what you
Want that’s great too so like a lot of people said like the first question is what you do for work and to tag on to that like everybody’s sort of thinking like what can you do for me what can I get out of you which is exactly what La
Is like um but then just don’t chop in that population MH okay we have Baltimore more like smalltimore everyone knows each other or went to school together someone wrote Tri dating and Arkansas I roll Emoji someone said you’re lucky if you have city as small toown girls have slim Pickins let’s go
To Canada Winnie Peg shockingly good Halifax shockingly bad it’s way too incestuous someone said there is decent Variety in the North Carolina triangle Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill Charlotte you’re going to have a lack of diversity in Charlotte sure but unlike like a New York City a city like Charlotte is where
People go to like settle down you know like I think that you find a larger population of people that would like a long-term partner you just got to you got to go there younger you got to really like men and khakis you got to love a khaki here’s going to be one of
Our under the radar tips new folden Minnesota is great if you like farmers and Hunters one to four women toen ratio you think there’s going to be a surge of moving to New fold in Minnesota one to four wom there’s four men for every one woman that sounds amazing
Farmers and Hunters I bet you they’re sexy they’re hunting all right oh I would like you got hunt me and if you want a sexy latino man Orlando is where it’s at I’ll do a little bit more Canada Toronto Toronto was mixed but I think in
General it’s a kind of a New York it’s kind of the obviously the New York city of Canada young feeling City interesting people from everywhere and tons to do for dates Toronto is one of the Cities I will say that we ask how dating her it doesn’t erupt with booing Vancouver men
Are flaky Finance Bros to outdoorsy or their scrubs but people also wrot it’s a fun city to date lots of activities and diversity you know I’m obsessed with Vancouver and it’s so diverse like everything everybody looks like so attractive and so hot and so fun and then someone else said Vancouver can I
Just say the Colin incident which if you at our show you know Boise we heard it was great lots of new men in town outdoorsy mountain men and nerdy Engineers if you’re into that Upstate New York for whol some really nice guys I did read an article about
Buffalo being a real hot spot for singles well it is a cold spot for weather yeah there’s nothing to do there besides have sex you got to warm up stay warm exactly Miami they’re obsessed themselves yeah what’ you think you moved to Miami to be deir like everyone
Is really into their image like we love Miami and Miami is going to be very diverse it’s going to be the most diverse place in Florida but people said it feels like there’s always a better hotter girl and Men know that I mean Miami is its own animal are you reading
La Miami is just yeah that too in La if Miami if you know you know and we love it it’s like a second home to us but I’ve we’ve definitely heard of the wo of dating in Miami yeah I mean again not NE necessarily a place people are moving to
Settle down mhm top Peter Pan City Charleston charlest y yes which is an outlier because in the South I do think people move towards the South for more Traditional Values Charleston I think there’s so many women in Charleston and there’s the College of Charleston and there’s so many beautiful women and I
Think men just never have to settle down we hear a lot of Peter Pan syndrome in San Diego San Diego oh San Diego is a big pet s Diego we get a lot but I heard some things about San Diego San Diego is a lot of men so I don’t know the exact
Stats and the ratio on this but there are a lot of guys there but a lot of people say it just feels like it’s kind of that Surfer guy not trying to settle down but I think again these cities can be like fun when you’re young to date
The best you know maybe find somebody I love New York Delaware as a whole is awful listen do was on that list for being some of the worst but then you look at Lindsay and buck and you know I feel like Lindsay was in a place in her
Life where this is my cousin Lindsay and her husband buck where she was like oh am I ever going to find anybody and then Buck walked in and they’re really one of our absolute favorite couples and that really does drive home the like all you
Need is one type of person and they can be in this like small town yeah I mean I don’t think it’s fair to like pick on smaller towns either it’s just like it’s not a large enough sample set like it’s always going to be a little bit worse in
A smaller town you know Boston again was beyond all short southy Bros 30-year-old frat Bros living in South the wearing Jersey to bars the men in Boston are so short it should be studied by scientists Boston is rough why don’t you brag about it asy people just said Ashley found a
Rare gem like it was overwhelming I loved when we went there and we did this and Tom Brady still played for them and it was just like dozens of Tom Brady responses and it said if you say Tom Brady they’ll instantly come like that is a city where like the Patriots were
Their whole Personality yeah but it’s a very specific type of guy and I have talked to Sparkle Eyes about this like he is not that type of guy he’s not this like short bro in souie he doesn’t own a jersey you know like he is just
Different and I have to say that he does have a tall good-looking single friend and I just feel like I don’t want to like gatekeep this guy so we are going to do in show Boston this year spoiler alert and he’ll be there what if I like
Him well I’m going have a boyfriend by then don’t worry about it that he has been trying to hook him up with you you get first dibs listen I brought this on me cuz Spar said how do you feel about coming to Boston between to meet this
Guy and I said I don’t feel good about it so it’s not that I don’t love Boston I’m just I’m not trying to go places are super cold in December so listen Raina has not met him yet but he is her sloppy seconds so you will be getting that no
I’m just kidding but that’s kind of like the thing of like it doesn’t have to go into these stereotypes and Austin of course we talked about but when it comes to like Houston and Dallas people just kind of echoed you know if you are like a liberal Progressive woman you can’t
Always find someone you know people are a lot more like religious there you know people said like that’s been tough for them I mean the south in general certain pockets of the South people definitely echoed like I’m not religious and everybody body else here is and so maybe
You got to go mhm Anchorage Alaska the odds are good but the goods are odd Spokane someone said it’s honestly great people are nice clear intent and yeah it’s a smaller pool but nicer to manage which I she called it like a second City you know like it’s not the biggest city
In Washington state it’s just like a smaller City it’s nice our our good friends live there and we we like smokane and um so yeah those were kind of the main highlights of the responses that we crowdsourced on Instagram and I wanted to end it with
By far the best city that you guys said to date and this is what I have always said so I feel so validated which is Chicago yeah nobody’s talking about it I mean it just makes sense it’s people that are cool and fun and like activities and not the Denver activities
No offense you guys will never do any of those people are educated they’ll come up to you they’ll talk to you it’s like a really social town and it’s like the perfect mix of like New York people are going there to have fun but like it is totally normal and natural to settle
Down it really is like I again I’m kidding nobody’s talking about this I think people are but like it’s not at the top of these lists like I said this since day one this is why I say that like if there was anywhere else I would
Have preferred to live in my 20s it would have been Chicago so age wise I do think that like people do tend to leave Chicago at the so like my brother said to me like when he was 30 he was like I don’t any friends left here that is fair so age
Wise I don’t know that like 32ye old woman 35 that’s where you want to go I don’t know but I do think it’s like this younger fun someone wrote Chicago is the best midwesterners are just better nicer people Everyone shares a common love for the city love dating in Chicago so easy
To get everywhere and the Midwest gentlemen are like you know the carrot signs the best someone wrote everyone is taken which that I’m sure like maybe once you get a certain age but we really feel like that everyone feels really just down to earth and nice I love the
Thing about the common love for the city there’s so much to do again it’s [ __ ] cold as [ __ ] in the winter I swear if it wasn’t so cold in the winter Chicago would just be overpopulated because it’s such a a wonderful City it’s easier to navigate like than New York it’s not as
Tough of a life it’s not so challenging it’s not as expensive you can have a nicer place and and it’s not weird to settle down like like I feel like in New York and La at a certain age your friends are making fun of you for
Settling down men but like in Chicago I just think that like it’s pretty normal and common you’re dating to find a partner I that’s the vibe I mean listen you guys can let us know if we’re wrong but that’s been my vibe and I’ve dated
In Chicago a lot yeah I mean that was the overwhelming responses and even when like we go there that’s the vibe it just people like yeah I found somebody you know like I’ve always said that and so our findings are really that if we’re talking big cities Chicago is the top
Austin is a nice pick I feel like if you Denver still works if you really are like in that outdoorsy World MH um and then I mean I think you can just make Anywhere work for you but this is just stuff to consider and there’s books on
It and all kinds of things totally I think you can profile a city and say does this work for me I think you know at the end of this episode you know the op the idea is like or what am I supposed to do you have two options
Because everybody says dating in my city is the worst in the world I want to say that too we’re hearing from people who want to vet you know like I think when we ask this slide people interpret it as like tell me the worst city and tell me
Why even though we said tell us the best and worst I don’t think a lot of people who in relationships are like I love the city this is where I found my partner you know I think we are hearing kind of the darker side of it totally but like
At the end of this if you’re just like well what are the options it’s like you can stay where you are and you can change what you’re doing and I know people are like oh change what I’m doing why didn’t I think of that amazing what
Great input and I do want to talk about it or or you move you profile these cities for yourself and say to yourself this seems like a place where people do X thing so if you live in the south and you’re like I am an atheist I’m surrounded by Evangelical Christians I’m
Never going to find somebody you’re probably right I don’t know so we posed this question on Instagram should you move to a different C to have better dating opportunities for yourself and I think especially if you want to be a parent finding a partner is the most
Important decision you will ever make in your life who you choose to have children with is the only decision in your life you cannot reverse you know and I think that we move for jobs and we move for social opportunities and so why would you not move for a partner and I
Really I support it so much and I’ve had so many friends over the years from New York City specifically saying like I have tried so hard here and nobody will settle down and I think that like they’ve heard enough from enough people like just change your strategy just do
Something different and like these women are like I am smart and I’ve tried every strategy and so like maybe the last card you have to play is moving and so many people said like I love the city I I don’t want to move this is where my
Friend group is this is where my family is this is the easiest thing to say and the hardest thing to do like to say I’m 38 and I’d like to have children I don’t live in a city where people seem to want to do that like just move it’s not easy
Either but I just want to like go on the record of saying I really support it if you feel like this is the goal and this is the action plan I mean I really appreciate the people were vulnerable in the responses and said this is something that I’ve considered and even like I
Feel silly for thinking this way because you were moving for nobody technically you’re not moving to be with somebody you’re moving for the prospect of maybe finding somebody so I understand not moving to a brand new place that you have no tie to just to date like you’re
Not going to want to date you’re going to be sad you’re going to be missing your friends family also if you want to do something like that and take that leap I find that really admirable as well but to consider this I don’t think that there’s anything wrong you know
Like if you have an opportunity if there’s a place you’ve been wanting to go anyway you know like and you just think you might have better dating opportunities like it’s not silly to think this way I really don’t think that it is and I go back to our episode with
Alyssa and her just saying she changed her energy and then she found this partner and she moved to LA and found someone who was not La at all you know he is not an entertainment he doesn’t even have social media so it wasn’t that she moved to this place and then met
This very specific type of guy to the place she just shifted her Energy felt like a newness about herself and a motivation to put herself out there and like that’s what did it and maybe that’s what did it for me too you know like I
Don’t know if I would be with my partner now if I didn’t move which is crazy cuz I moved all the way across the country from where he lives but something about it shifted in me I felt a new motivation and myself to date and excitement and
Then I ended up with him so moving in general can open a lot of doors for you in all areas of your life I mean I can only speak to living in New York I lived there for 15 years I think if you are prone to anxiety and stress and bad
Moods and low like feeling a little depressed New York will exacerbate every one of those things and I think that you can start to feel like I’m not the best version of myself in this city so could I relocate and be a better version of myself not like I like that you said
You’re relocating for no one cuz like you could relocate cuz you want the dating scene to be better but I like the notion of like I like this version of myself better in this city yeah I mean and that even goes to like someone wrote again this is the question slide on
Instagram someone wrote all the gays who haven’t found a partner have considered it because I live in a smaller dating pool you know like even just people who might be more your vibration someone wrote I just moved to Austin not for dating but definitely a perk I
Considered which I like that too you know like that’s just a additional motivation for moving to a city someone said I have many friends who have done this and met their husband soon after moving someone said absolutely I think about it a lot I haven’t pulled the trigger yet and of
Course we have people being like no I think it’s the same circus but different clowns that’s a ster that’s the title of the episode as long as you’re not judging people like I like the variation in responses yes you know I also think that moving changes you in the sense
Like it reignites your flame a little bit where you’re just like it’s almost like dating when you’re on vacation the St are lower like oh my god when I moved to New York I was just like I am out here yes so it’s just it’s more exciting
And you know I know that everybody doesn’t have this opportunity but so many people are remote today and so I don’t know Airbnb your own apartment and get an Airbnb in Austin and check it out for a month that’s a great call too and I also want to just really validate that
Not everybody has the resources and the money to just pick up and move like again there’s a world in which you have enough and you you know renter place and it doesn’t cost you much you know what I mean maybe you don’t have a ton of [ __ ]
You know I didn’t have a ton of [ __ ] when I was like younger in my 20s like I like that idea too like if you can make this work for you financially not everybody can not everybody can Le their job some people are still working in office every day they have a good
Situation they’re like I can’t leave this but if you have the opportunity and you really are feeling stuck and there’s a place you want to go you can do it temporarily mhm I mean I just I feel for people that really want children and the clock is ticking and they’re just like
Like I really don’t think I’m going to find this here and I really support somebody trying something else cuz you can’t just keep doing the same thing over and over again I mean I really feel for women that you know the clock is ticking yeah I really think a lot of it
Is reframing that I’m like not moving to the city for these imaginary guys I am moving for myself to change something within myself and explore something different and really try to change my Outlook and there are really so many positive experiences here like I did I
Moved to New York in 2011 met a guy fell in love together yes not on purpose but ended up dating different types of people then from home and I fell in love and got married I had to move for a job but I was excited about it because of
The dating I was single eight years I met my boyfriend in the first three months after that is that like gives me chills you know someone says I would never leave my friend group without a guarantee and I feel that too I wouldn’t if you have a solid friend group like
You have one of the real good ones you know like they feel like family do stuff together every weekend I mean leaving that it would be tough but maybe you grab a friend you go together get your single friend to move with you I would have a really hard time leaving my
Community I felt like in New York like I worked so hard to build this it took so long to find a core group of friends in a city it would be really hard for me to just kick that in the teeth but I mean if you can temporarily try it out I just
There’s nothing about this that seems silly to me at all I think that that is taking yourself seriously to consider something like this yeah and you can always go back yep people say that whenever you move you can always go back I don’t know unless you just burned
Every bridge in town why you wouldn’t be able to go back but there’s responses that said I did this and didn’t find anybody and that could happen too you know there are really no guarantees in life for anything but we’re not telling you to pick up and move but we’re also
Telling you don’t be ashamed if that is something you’re considering yeah I think a lot of people are like I love this city and my friend group more than anything in the world and if you’re like I’m hellbent on staying in this city then you have to change your strategy
Like if you live in New York City and you’re just like I can’t find anybody then instead of dating men that live in Manhattan date somebody lives in Hoboken or Brooklyn they have purposely chosen to live outside the scene so look for people like that like you can set your
Profiles hinge or whatever to people that live a little farther out of the city like I maybe wouldn’t date somebody and their 20s that lived in the East Village there’s a reason why they live there I know that’s the thing I got to like Hammer this home like I never
Thought I would be with somebody who a didn’t live in like the top two three cities in America in terms of you know you know what I’m saying like population and Industry and that and then on top of it not live in the center of the city
Like I was just wrong like I think so many New Yorkers like oh Hoboken and it’s like I don’t know maybe that’s the kind of guy you might want like I used to hear like if you’re on the older end you got to get those Westchester divorced dads yeah you got to just
Change your circumference of where you’re dating somebody that chooses to live in listen I’m not dating in Westchester but H Hoboken Or Not Williamsburg but like somebody that chooses to live in like Carol Gardens in Brooklyn like that’s somebody that’s like a little more outside of the scene
They don’t want to be in Manhattan partying every day date those people yeah dating Hoboken Jersey City that could be kind of family but I did see one for Jersey City yeah and I just think if you’re not wanting to move you know just get outside your comfort zone in some way
You know like of course we always say take a trip I mean I met my boyfriend on our travels you know like I didn’t move to Boston like you know of course like it goes out saying we get to travel for work and for a living and not everybody
Has the money and the resources to just up and take a trip or whatever it is but changing your scenery even temporarily just for you know a week or two can work wers too you just date so differently when you’re like I don’t know if this is
Permanent like I really love the idea of just renting out your place for a month and you take that exact dollar amount and get Airbnb in a different city and just [ __ ] around and find out for a month and if you really want to go full
Send get out of the country we’re going International let’s go London let’s go Australia London you got to get your visa [ __ ] figured out I don’t know how about all that works but like I love that [ __ ] too Paris yeah you go full Ely and Paris you just date different yeah I
Don’t understand that reference I’ve never seen that show I can’t wait for the next season we Australia we got good things about Australia we’ve heard mixed reviews but some said like I actually love dating and in Sydney and the guys like will approach you in the wild and
Set a second date while you’re on the first State we got some good things about CNE but we’ve also heard the opposite so you know who’s say the bogans the bogans I just I really encourage people to like profile these cities as much as you can like I think that if you’re not
A big drinker there’s certain cities I just wouldn’t date in I think that if you’re like the main most important thing to me is going to music festivals there are certain cities I wouldn’t date in like I think that like we talked about writing a list last week and like
It’s the perfect exercise of like what is important to me and then what cities emulate those qual and go find them yeah especially if your values are so different than what the prevalent value is in that place you know and that’s when we do talk about you know conservative versus Progressive and
Things like that because again there’s a chance you could find a needle in a hay stack but why not set yourself up where the odds are better for what you’re looking for there’s more needles there’s more needles in that hay stack right exactly like you’re obviously going have
Better chances of finding the needle if there’s 50 needles versus just one in that H stack okay all right well thank you guys for listening yes best of luck out there we know it’s rough out there and there’s no perfect place and even the ones that sound like
Dog [ __ ] you can still find a decent relationship we see it all the time so don’t lose hope yeah I think so too people that submit to this like you said my mom always says the people that are happy aren’t emailing you there it is
There it is okay girls got to eat.com of course girls got to eat podcast on Instagram and Tik Tok and Vibes only get that new Raina and all the new toys we have coming up for for Valentine’s Day and Vibes only on Instagram our personals I am Ash hes Raina is raina.
Greenberg subscribe on YouTube watch these episode on YouTube they’re just getting like better and better and uh share this episode with a friend and we’ll see you next week have a good week guys Bye [Applause] cry Cry
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