What’s cracking what’s cracking what’s cracking it’s your boy it’s your man 50 Grand J Burke here with another edition of the fatherhood exclusive I’m with my guys I got Diego in the building what’s up Diego what’s going on gentlemen it’s going well it’s going well I got Dez in
The building what’s up Dez what’s up what’s up what’s up how you doing man I’m doing phenomenal um Angelo couldn’t make it today um but we gonna keep rocking like we never rocked it before um Dez why don’t you introduce our special guest our very special guest
Today cool man our special guest today is Michael Robinson Michael Robinson is my cousin um Michael Michael um growing up Michael was uh always you know he can never make this person mad all through life he’s probably he’s probably the he’s he’s the brother you would want it’s a friend
That everybody would die for um great guy just um my favorite my favorite male cousin um and like you know just being around him as an adult as a mature adult i’ I’ve really you know respect him for the things for the trials and the tribulations I know he has
Overcome and so one of the biggest trials and tribulations that he overcame I was very I’m still very impressed with of how he handled things and I just wanted to bring him on today as a guest so that he can share his story with with with the world because it’s a very U
Emotional story it’s a very um horrific story but at the same time it’s definitely a story that will help someone that’s going through the same thing on how to overcome all of the madness that comes from uh what he went through so my cousin Mike Robertson what up Mike what’s going
On fellas man we we doing good Paradise how you doing Mike I can’t complain I appreciate y’all having me tonight yeah absolutely absolutely so um so we want to talk about a couple things you know because we heard a little bit of your story and you know instantly you know me
As a as a father of nine you know and you know you know I’m married and I just can’t fathom going through some of the things that you went through in in a way you know I’m just I’m in awe you know what I’m saying because I struggle
With the idea you know of or even thinking about it you know being possible but you know uh from what Dez has told me and you know I it’s just man it’s it’s so honorable of you to be able to uh fight these ch Alles man you know
And and it’s it’s a blessing you know that your kids have you um and yeah man so let’s just dive right into it because I’m I’m just I don’t want to get like too caught up but you know uh it’s man definitely respectable man but let’s let’s get into it let’s
Start from the beginning man tell us about yourself uh well like d said we’re cousins uh I’m over here um out in Spring Texas uh been out here majority of my life um single father of two um before my fiance passed um her son was
Living with me I still take care of him from time to time he’s a little ways away from me but I still try to see him whenever I get a chance uh been working at UPS for a little bit over 20 years and uh when they say that phrase it
Takes a village it definitely takes a village uh that’s how I’m making it um as a single father and uh other than that I know this going to make Desmond a little upset but uh I’m a Cowboys fan uh had to throw that in there but um
Yeah other than that man just just just taking a day by day I’m um as of now I’m actually on disability um from work got a Tor tended in my bicep yeah that I had surgery about a about a month ago now okay and uh hopefully I’ll be back in the saddle
Behind that 18 wheeler sooner than later because uh them disability checks ain’t the same as a four time check with overtime imagine so let me ask you a question right so uh you say you got a torr tendon in your bicep correct what was the surgery like surgery was really nothing it’s
More the recovery it’s fun you ask that because me and Desmond was talking about that um uh earlier tonight uh the surgery actually this is my second time it happened on my left arm it happened to me uh about almost almost 10 years ago on my right arm and uh it’s really just
The recovery man um and the only difference in now the recovery is um 10 years ago I didn’t have kids and uh y’all know how it is you can’t stop when it comes to them and um my daughter’s five and my son is nine and uh they’re
Non-Stop and U and I’m non-stop like I I hate sitting still uh but you want to just try to take your time and not rush back too quick before you know uh you you make your you make your army worse you know but the surgery was nothing
It’s just a recovery stage yeah so I got a uh two Tor tendons in my right ankle okay during my last deployment and uh you know I I’ve been inv void in surgery for the longest time because I want to try oh no explore other avenues because it’s not as it’s not
As so they’re they’re both partial tears but they been a bit resilient and I’ve been going through you know physical therapy and stuff like that but you know I like to say this disclaimer when you’re when you’re in the military and you go to these uh these doctors quote
Unquote at the military hospitals you can’t necessarily count on them you know I’m to get you right you be doing your surgery I didn’t have plenty of homeboys and home homets as I like to say that get the surgery and they spent half of their life trying
To get surgery to fix the first surgery oh man yeah that ain’t good that a I was just curious but um yeah man so let’s let’s talk about it man so you know so you say you lost your fiance and um you know it’s great that you’re you’re still
You know keeping a good relationship you know with your son man that’s that’s definitely honorable um man first off H how do you like how do you stomach something like that for me it still seems like it was yesterday in um it was um July 7th
20120 um and it’s it’s obviously a day I’ll never forget for me to dropped a date like it’s nothing but um if it wasn’t for the kids and and that was also during Co um I just feel like I probably would have been out there bad to be honest with y’all
Just I knew I had to stay strong for our kids with my fiance we had a daughter together my son was with someone else my our daughter was two at the time she had just turned two her birthday is May 22nd and um she passed away at our home and um what I
Hated the most was that her son had to see me giving her uh CPR and he was only he was nine at the time and um I didn’t know what I was going to do a lot of people because of my schedule they thought I was going to have to quit my
Job um just in a because she was a stay-at-home mom I didn’t know when we continued to work who was going to watch the kids and it was just really uh I was off for four months actually because I had to figure out how to get everything in
Motion as far as who was going to watch the kids what’s how can I still make it to work uh what do I do now like I said that was my f we were engaged at the time you know we were still trying to figure out where to have our wedding and
Everything and it was it was difficult I mean really if it wasn’t for God and my family and and and I mean Dez was still in Seattle at the time uh he came down a couple time I feel like he came down more after that happened you know just
Really just having my back so yeah like I said earlier before when they say it takes a village it it really does because I would be lost without without God and my family I really would have yeah absolutely you know what’s crazy now that you speak on it um and then now
That I hear the date I remember when we had the meeting um at the place that I was standing that we had a meeting um me Dez Diego Angelo and all our kidss were there and we had a meeting um about starting this podcast and then Dez was
Like yeah I gotta move back to Texas and um you know and so now we know why but man um tragic man and and of course condolences and sorry for your loss um you say you’re son at 9 years old had to see you give CPR how did that affect him him cuz
That’s that’s got to be ultra traumatizing like well let me let me break it down more it was it was her son my son’s mom is still living I have a a son who’s nine who I actually found out about him when he was two but we’ll get
Into that in a little bit okay uh and um it was her son that saw saw that my son luckily was at uh was at his mom’s house for the weekend wow um so her son son I told him to grab his sister um and they went next
Door and uh it it was really he was a troubled little boy and I thought by him losing his mom I didn’t know what was going to happen with him I was really worried about that um of course he moved in with his dad after
His mom passed and um I was just really concerned for him because one thing that she really feared she did not want him um to be with his dad to be honest with you uh if it if it was up to her and if it was a little easier she would have
Probably rather him stay uh with me but y’all know how it is with these courts child support this that and the other those are just battles that you can’t win and I thank God he’s actually been safe and he’s as long as he’s keeping a roof over that little boy’s head and
He’s eating that that’s all I can ask for you know I’m just on the outside looking in okay okay all right so let’s let’s talk about your daughter how how how does it affect your daughter it’s it’s really confusing when you’re working with someone that’s so
Young it’s like uh she really didn’t get a chance to truly know uh her mom I keep pictures up around the house I try to visit her grave site a little bit more um I wish I would go more cuz sometimes my daughter just randomly ask and it’s heartbreaking
Here a child so young can we go pick some flowers down on mommy’s grave site you know and uh whenever she attends daycare in school I would always let them know when it came to Mother’s Day that her mom is no longer with us because I don’t want her feeling sad
When they brought that in front of her you know so I tried to give the schools and the daycare heads up and um overall I feel like she’s doing fine but you just really know what a young mind is thinking you know like I said she’s only
Five she’ll be six in May and uh all I could do is just keep her mom’s memory alive that’s all I could really do on my end and I hope I hope I’m doing that right absolutely absolutely man that’s that’s definitely challenging um yeah I can’t fa man with
All that you’re going through and then you so you said um you said with your son you didn’t you didn’t yeah that’s that’s another so in that one uh like I said he’s nine now when I found out about him he was two okay obviously we all been
Out there before in them streets uh before the wives and kids came into our lives and uh and I was out there uh I was taking a page out of Desmond book that’s why you over there laughing so hard he used to be out there in them
Streets pretty tough and uh really I wasn’t even dating uh his mom we have like no relationship background that was just a little fun and next thing you know uh I remember what I was doing but I don’t remember that exact day I was just sitting there minding my business
Playing the game of Madden and my phone rings and she’s like hey and I’m like hey what’s up stranger she said I need to talk to you about something uh are you busy like no what’s up you know I’m giving her the cold shoulder cuz I was
Trying to I had been trying to knock her down again for a little bit and I knew she had a son only thing is I don’t know it was our son and she um says um we have a son together is what she tell me I said how like you because I keep
Remind he was already two and we had obviously hadn’t had sex in three years you know she sends me a picture and fellas when I say when she sent that picture I think the whole neighborhood heard me say [ __ ] cause I mean my son is a spitting image of me spitting image of
Me he sent the picture to me talking about hey that look like mine I yeah that was probably the funnest part of getting that news like showing people that picture a lot of people like don’t even waste your time with a DNA test and it’s funny
That’s the same thing she told me she goes I know he’s yours you don’t have to do a DNA test well I said excuse me for not believing you because obviously you didn’t know for two years I’m doing a DNA test you know granted he did look
Just like and I could have save that money on that DNA test but uh You Gotta Be You know I should have took a free trip to Mari and in the case of little Carter Robinson you are the father you know so but um yeah it I was um I was scared
I was excited at the same time and it’s funny because to be honest with y’all I have been praying about it for quite some time I was actually tired of running in them streets and I was telling God I’m ready to settle down I want a family like they always said God
Has a his own way and a funny way of answering your prayers yeah now when I said I wanted a family I I didn’t mean like that God but uh yeah here we are now yeah I know so uh yeah she told me the news
About him and um it was I I don’t remember the exact day but I think it was in like October November area and his birthday is in December okay and before I had got the results fellas I was already at Children’s Place uh Walmart I was loading them up I was
Excited it it was he’s even though I wasn’t there for his birth he’s my first born and I mean I I got that boy everything underneath to set I was just overly excited like even before I got the results uh I loaded him up for his
Birthday man I was super excited here we are seven years later little Joker is is he’s here with us now excuse me and uh uh I regret missing out on those two years I wish I could get those two years back at the beginning I used to really
Hold that over her head because I was upset uh because I feel like a a son no no a son or daughter they need you there from The Jump Man uh yeah and I’m missing out on that two years uh I really hate that but it’s something I
Can do about it I can’t get that back but I’m here now and I ain’t going nowhere absolutely absolutely so let’s take a step back real quick um does your son have a did he have a relationship with your fiance oh yeah man uh she she l my son
As if it was her own and I think it has to do with both our upbringing uh her parents were divorced at an early age and uh I just think like uh our families are so big because of uh um marriages and remarriages and whatnot and uh she
Just kind of came from a big family between her mom’s family her dad’s family and her stepmom’s family and uh she actually came up with the idea of instead of just getting my son every other weekend she said I can’t go that long without seeing them she said she told me to ask
His mom if we can get him on Sundays Mondays and Tuesdays when it’s not my weekend and then when it is our weekend she wants to have them on Friday Saturday and still keep the Sunday Mondays and Tuesdays and that’s what I loved about her because uh as a single
Father now I still have her truly dated till she pass so this would be like my first time like dating when I do get out there and it’s not just me that I got to think about now I got to think about my kids and that’s what that that was so
Key to me about like how much love she showed my son like she she truly treated him uh like her own and and I love that about and I know she loved my son to death absolutely so I got a question go ahead um so can you can you uh let us
Know a little bit like what was the transition like uh as after uh your your fiance’s uh uh passing away as how do you at what point you say hey I need to I need to like come out of this of this pain and and be able to handle the change between
You know because you said your your fiance was a stay stay home mom right now you gotta balance work and be able to figure out uh the kid with with her and then you also have another kid from from a different mom so like how how was
That balance like for you to be able to just come through I mean I can I can see that how overwhelming that could be you know you’re dealing with pain you have to do with with actually taking care of the kids so uh yeah y’all hear me say this a
Thousand times because it’s definitely true like I said once again it it takes a village and um I was talking about her family and um rest in peace to her father who passed away last year and her stepmom who passed away two years ago her stepmom also treated these kids like
They were her own and uh I I kind of felt like a coach uh that’s why it took me so long to go back to work I was off for four months and I just basically came up with a a schedule a system to where I could have my mind at ease
Because um driving 18 wheelers and going out of state and gone for for days I need to have a clear mind that my kids were going to be okay while I was on the road the last thing you want to do is get a phone call while you’re all the
Way in California that’s something happen to your kids so I came up with a schedule of where everybody had certain days I didn’t want the kids need structure and it’s hard to balance structure when you’re just doing this by yourself it’s already hard enough when it’s two of you when when it’s husband
And wife mommy and daddy Arne the same roof so when it became just me I really sat down took my time on getting back to work because work working way my kids come first I’m still find a way to keep these lights on and make sure they’re
Fed but their safety and there security is the most important thing to me and I just really just took my time uh once I lost my fiance who stayed at home with the kids I said okay I have to pay my daughter in daycare found the best
Daycare I could in the area uh just just really had to get your ducks in a row you know and it gave me a better peace of mind and I’ll be honest with y’all it was times when I was on that road I drive at night a lot I I just be driving
And bust out and crying uh it’s never easy it it just it was definitely a tough transition but like I said with it taking a village that’s that’s that’s what got me through it that was the the easiest part of the transition because of the help that I had now if you don’t
Have help I don’t know what I would have gone and like I said before also with it being co I think that really slowed me down and and grounded me to where I wasn’t out there distracting myself with foolishness of of just going out or uh just you know just doing necessary stuff
Just to keep my mind clear like I said between these kids and family that’s that’s what helped me doing that transition and to be honest with you I think it’s going to be a a life transition it’s never going to be be over for me honestly oh yeah
You know that’s why D’s here uh now you know uh it’s just I’m always having to keep my head on a swivel and figure out my next move you know it’s never going to be be over you know and I don’t want to get with anyone just to make my life
Easier as far as somebody being here with the kids you know I’m not going to rush rush any of that you know I like that I like what you said the um where you say you took the time to actually draw down it uh draw down his schedule
Right um I think um and I speak uh a little I’m gonna speak a little myself right I mean uh when I went into being a single parent uh I did a complete opposite of what you did right and I think that’s that’s one good thing that
You did and I I respect that and I think I should have done that is slow down and and and plan things out I took it the other way I was like you know what I need to keep my mind busy and I just dove into work I rushed into work to get
It get get get my yeah not to think about uh the situation and uh that is that is that is awesome that you actually you know was co uh cool head it and and sit down and actually draw it out to make sure that you know that your
Kids were taken care of that you had the best plan of action so that way when you’re out there you can actually not be worried and make sure that your kids are are taking care of so that’s that’s uh that command you on that that’s awesome
I appreciate it I appreciate it yeah I did drown myself with work when I went back I’ll be honest with you on that one it’s like once I did get back in the saddle it’s like I knew I had no one to go home too um I mean I still have my
Kids that go home to but it’s different whenever you got something home to lay up next to something soft you know what I mean like um just it was just me coming home to just the kids and then like sometimes when they just be us
At the house and so quiet with with her being gone and her son not living here I got used I don’t want to use the word chaos but I got used to the the loudness of the house you know that’s that’s too less people that was that was that was
Here you know they’re no longer here and um I I I did I worked my ass off when I did go back to work but I was also just trying to make sure uh once again I stayed busy you know I was just doing my best to just stay busy
And since I did take that time off like you said uh I didn’t mind drowning myself for work because I knew my kids were okay but now I finally took a step back and I’m home uh every day now so yeah I think you know I haven’t been
Through you know a situation like you of course but I think there has to be a balance you know you know thinking about it like there has to because like you said you you gota uh you got to provide you know what I’m saying you gotta on one hand show your kids that
You know uh you got to endure you got to overcome but also you have to be able to show your kids that you know you’re present um you’re able to support them in their emotions while also them being able to see that you know um that you have emotion as well
You know what I’m saying and you yeah there there has I don’t want to say a balance at the same time because I don’t think there’s a way you can balance it you know realistically yeah you’re right I say that a lot but real in real like
Uh maybe there’s not a way to hard but you got to be mindful um and aware you know what I’m saying of what you’re doing and how you’re doing it because at the end of the day it’s like you said you know you still have to Father those
Kids and you still have to be the man that you’re saying that you are you know what I’m saying regardless of you know uh the unforeseen circumstances and you know of course it’s it’s it’s going to be tough however you know um you still gota endure you still got to be able to
Provide and and raise those kids and I think you know just from hearing your story and hearing what you’re doing I think you’re doing a phenomenal job and I want to appreciate it because uh you know a lot of people um I don’t like to use the word struggle but a lot of
People you know wouldn’t take to the challenge like you have you know I’m saying they’re they’re run the drugs they’re run to alcoholism they’re run to something else you know that’s poison for their mind yeah you know and you know you know I got a question Ahad facts what was
It that you ran to to really kind of get over it like I’m pretty sure I would ran bottle SM so like I said I gotta keep pointing out that whenever she passed it was during Co so y’all know a lot of stuff was on lockdown it was a bunch of
Nights where I wish I could have just went to the strip club or went to a bar um my my parents my would call me from time to time just to give me a break just to clear my head and watch the kids for me and uh I actually I proposed um
At the casino uh which isn’t too far from us uh we’re in Texas but we got to gamble in Louisiana and that’s where I proposed I would literally just make a a little road trip by myself and uh I would go to the casino and uh it was
Like kind of getting away from home but also kind of staying close to her because that was our spot that was our thing and um I would just go down there by myself and surprisingly I know she’s uh looking at this now I was doing good Fellas I was
Sing the the money that I was making at the casino uh I don’t know she all of a sudden just became my guardian angel and them cards fell in the right place but uh they they did man and uh that’s just really was like our thing and that’s
What I did for myself whenever I could just get away during those uh four months that I was off uh I would just take a little road trip down there and even just get on the road and clearing my head before I got down there was just
Uh it it was just almost kind of like therapeutic for me and speaking of being therapeutic I did see uh a therapist during that time but also once again since because of covid that was my first time seeing a therapist but we had to do uh the zoom
Call it wasn’t uh face to face and uh I was going to try to keep it up and sometimes I think about still talking to her again uh the therapist but um so far I’ve been been fine but when I when I went back to work I um I cut out the therapy
Sessions okay I wanna i w to stop you there because uh every time we get to talk about therapy I have to say it I have to say it for you and for all the men out there please if you’re if you’re challenged with anything that is
Uh you know damaging or altering to your mental health State please seek out therapy and counseling so important for us as Leaders it is so important for us as men as fathers uh to get our head right because we take on so much we carry so much and it’s designed that way
For a reason uh for us to carry the burden of the family however uh when I say that it doesn’t have to be a negative burden you know what I’m saying it’s we’re literally built to carry uh on the uh to carry on the weight of our of our
Families on our backs yes you know but for that very reason we need to be able to make sure that we’re mentally straight we’re we’re physically straight you know that’s why mental and physical health is so important so I would encourage you man if if you can even if
You’re straight just you know get back in it the time go tap in with the therapist because yeah what happens is sometimes we get a little too comfortable and um you know things things tend to hit us you know when we think everything’s okay and they very
Might well be okay but that’s when you want to continue those because it’s going to make you stronger so when the challenges do come you’re prepared you know what I’m saying correct now I hear you yeah I was uh I was listening to um to the show uh there’s other podcast
Called the the bed Roose K kulan show and um he actually matter of fact was talking about um learning how to heal yourself first uh before you start taking on um uh leadership roles right especially at home right if you have if you have um pain that you that you’ve
Dealt with in the past whether if you know uh like in your situation uh your your uh spouse passing away be 100% be able to take care of you yourself first before because you’re pass that that stuff on to them just when you don’t when you don’t think you are all the all
That all those those feelings that emotion gets passing to the kids and and it’s it’ll be S it’s surprising that we don’t we as a as as a person with the pain we don’t see that right because you know they we’re not in the outside right
So being able to deal with our with our emotion being able to deal with that with that painting and and and seeking help is key especially we want to be able to Mentor our kids and be able to let them know like hey this is this is
The good and the bad stuff that you that you should do in order to you know be a better person so yes I’m the same way uh I’ve uh during my situation when I got divorc it was rough for me and I ended up you know we are men we’re try to be
All tough and we always say we don’t want them a counselor but believe me it does a lot of good yes it does help me out a lot from time to time when I when I uh get a little bit lost I go back and I you know have a couple
Sessions and get my my head cleared out and until and then I you know I could go back into you know raising my kids again because uh you you you you can pass that those vibes even though you’re not physically yeah you can easily yeah
Yeah yeah that’s one thing I did I made sure that like the kids never saw me uh I cried privately you know because they they can they can feel that see that with them being so young you know I don’t know how many times a day I still
Hear it even when I’m doing just fine what’s wrong daddy like they can they can feel like they they can sense those vibes you know and I just got to stay strong for him let me ask you does does your daughter catch them more than your
Son what’s that like does does she ask you more like are you okay no actually my son his s is so big he he asked it he’ll ask it more my daughter she just like a mama she a feisty look thing uh she shows her emotions big time but she
Don’t care about my emotions too much and decen her in action uh she she’s something else but uh now my son ask it a thousand times more than my my daughter does okay okay right on I was asking because sometimes it seems as if and maybe just my
Daughter’s but sometimes it seems as if um you know the the Daddy’s girl like the daddy’s little girl for some reason they maybe it’s just because they’re nosy I don’t know but they’re definitely no you saw my daughter people heading there earlier and she did it again they
Always got an eye on you and so yeah even when I’m going through stuff like my daughter Z she’ be like are you okay what’s wrong and like nothing she’s like yeah no I know what you mean yeah you can actually use your kids as a as a
Gauge right as a gauge to see if your kids are starting to ask you like hey that are you’re okay that should be a sign let you know like you’re starting to show those those uh those vibes right and to kind of like either you know
Adjust and check in with with with a counselor or just kind of check yourself and be like hey you know am I okay right because if a kid can nowhere can ask you if you’re if you’re doing good it’s because something is Chang from uh from when they see you when you’re happy
Right so they can they can sense depression or whatever right so that you can use that as kind like a help us out gaug where we at emotionally so gotta let me ask you Mike um so when you went to the when you went to the casino did
You feel like she was there with you a lot of times I did I I really did and I mean even when I didn’t feel like she was there with me I I made it to the point where she was cuz I would just go
Out um kind of like on the back patio of the casino and I would I would people thought I was crazy probably U I would talk out loud to her I would just talk out loud to her you know because I I wanted that feeling you know yeah it’s
Like U I wanted to feel her presence you know because like I said um that was our thing U you know it was a reason I proposed there she she enjoyed it I enjoyed it and it wasn’t like we just enjoyed gambling we enjoyed the entire
Just like uh atmosphere just uh of just whining and dining uh you know just just just enjoying ourselves uh uh I I started playing golf more after she passed but her her her dad was a big golf player if I wanted to I’m pretty sure she would have went out there on
That golf course with me and just um just enjoying uh the company you know so a part of me just feels like I was headed up there not just for my own personal time but also just I could just continue to feel close uh to okay right on um actually one more thing
Well maybe a couple more things but what are some things that you think you can do to better put yourself in position to continue to I don’t want to say fulfill the woman’s role because we can never do that you know on point as men but what
Are some things that you think you know you can do and even for other men that may be going through the same type of situation to kind of as best you can feel the void you know from the because we can’t necessarily nurture a child like a woman
Would nurture a child you know yeah well it’s a little bit harder with it being a daughter because a a a a daughter definitely needs her mom there it’s going to be things that I can’t show her yeah uh as a woman you know as gets older and that you know I think
About that all the time like man I don’t know when I what I’mma do when you you know when that when that day comes that that that day you know and just uh but you know it it just really just varies of like what age your child is if they have
To go through that and it doesn’t even matter like uh God forbid if um you know something happened to us like I would want I would want y’all wives uh to have to be put in that situation and sometimes I think uh like what would it be like if it was
Me if it was if it was reversed if I was the one that passed and she was here with the kids you know uh I know she could have did it and and every situation like I said is just going to be different uh so it’s kind of
Just hard to just give a how-to book or how-to story of what you can do and what you have to do it’s just it just really just depends on what what’s in front of you you know uh like I said man it’s just it’s just so hard
To explain in words because every day is going to be different you know y’all ask how did I transition I’m still not done with the transition you know it’s it’s it’s never going to be over so all I really can just say is just you know you
Just got to take it day by day and just the biggest thing is just stay strong like Diego said earlier it’s like don’t let them see you down you know you got you got to keep your head up you know you don’t want them to pick up on them
Vibes of like what’s wrong like why are you sad why were you crying you just got to really really stay strong like that’s probably like the best advice I can give like you just got to just stay strong like don’t let them see you sad don’t
Let them see them weak uh the I think the biggest struggle was when her son would cry I I was lost I didn’t know what to do when when he would cry and say he would miss his mom I I would really be lost all I could
Do during those times I would just tell him she wouldn’t want you to be sad she would want you to be happy you just got to really just stay positive that’s that’s probably the best advice and the biggest thing I can say you have to stay
Positive that that that’s all you can do you you have to stay positive you got to keep going absolutely absolutely um one more thing um we’re about to wrap it up here but one more question um let’s let’s talk about yourself for a second did those two
Years of you know you not knowing that he would how did that affect him once he became a certain age or it kind of threw me off a little bit of what he did know and what he did not know uh from lessons to just uh from uh
Catching a ball uh be honest with you he’s nine he still doesn’t really have the desire to uh ride a bike still working on honestly like he’s tying and it’s like it was just certain things that I thought he knew already or thought his mom Tau and man it’s uh it’s very
Difficult trying to get and die you could probably Rel to this for both of you to get on the same page because you’re taking your kids and you’re doing something with them and then when they go back home with the other parent it’s like what are they teaching them well I
Taught them how to do it like this why did you tell them how to do it like that you know so it just that whenever he did come into my life at two he seemed like he was just about as sharp as could be and I just I just didn’t really take off
Like I should have um because it was just certain things I didn’t I didn’t know uh I just assumed you know I thought your mom already taught you that or I thought you already knew that you know and uh that that was really probably just the biggest battle and
Like like I said I gotta stop holding that over her head because I can’t get those two years back I can do uh about that not just me being petty or trying to get up on skin from time to time but we have a good a very very good
Relationship Desmond has met her whenever she’s came over here to pick him up or drop him off and uh you know you hear some of these horror stories dig I don’t know what your situation is if you are you and your ex still get along and and are good at co-parenting
Uh but some guys go through nightmares and um I thank God I don’t have that issue I don’t have that issue at all yeah no I think uh I’m with you there uh the co-parenting is key I I’m in your situation where I got lucky I
Got a good Mom that’s good it was rough at the beginning but you know the kids first um I think things are start lining up and I think uh what you’re doing is it’s it’s normal to feel that way because I I went through that stuff too
You know uh there’s there like you know you said the Ty of the shoes right so I get I’ll get beat at the beginning like oh he doesn’t know how to tie your shoe you should teach him and then okay so I try to teach him and then all he’ll go
Home and then she the other way and I and I see yeah exactly exactly yeah not how I talk to you like when it’s like oh like why you’re going to teach him you know I mean so as you kind of like just take a deep
Breath he like all right that’s can do kid fault that you know can’t talk about this and be like hey yeah um things kind of pan out and and and and start getting smoother time time so that it’s good to hear uh when people have good parenting because it’s like all right
That’s awesome there still there still people out there that they care about their kids first I hate yeah four stores like you said is where they’re that’s a lot of them it’s a lot of them yeah they’re going after the kids it’s not even if they were going after me I
Wouldn’t care but it’s like the kids as a as a tool to to hurt the other person exactly try use as a crutch yeah to pay for the broken dish and it’s so that’s awesome you guys have a good relationship yeah same you brother yeah and we talk about it all the time
Like at the end of the day we we all have to like emotions aside we all have to come to the understanding that it’s about what’s best for the kids you know what I’m saying and you and you know so and so not having a good relationship it
Don’t matter it ain’t about y’all no more it’s about the kids it’s about their wellbeing it’s about their best interest and as long as y’all can agree on that come up with the plan to figure that out you know what I’m saying and that’s that’s how it works a lot of
People get the sad part is dadd is people um taking shots um at is it’s just about hurting the other person yeah exactly and that’s so like it took me now you know I I would have been cordial with my ex I swear I I think I could have been cordial with her
But she she kept so much hate towards me and want to even to this day she still has so much hate that um you know it’s it’s unbelievable have that much hate you know I mean talking about Carol D yeah talking about Carol oh yeah he’s a he
Has a nightmare story Diego me and you were we’re good Desmond has a nightmare [ __ ] you got the good ones okay no didn’t have out I had the to I had Diablo man you had graa he had grela and it sucks right because I mean she might think that she’s causing pain
On him but at the end of the day the kids exactly he’s over everybody’s right correct and and it’s and it’s unfortunate that you know the people are still holding to the garage I as I get older I realize how life is and uh exactly yeah there’s now there’s almost
Almost nothing that will let me hold a grud for that long I will probably pissed off for those five seconds I I’ll act on it if I need to act but then I’ll move on because it’s just it’s a poison you know what I mean it is it’s a
Poisoning to your body and it’s just not to me especially when it it’s not you know what you want to be the winner go ahead be the winner I’m okay I know what I am is happy that you know but I I I command you Dez because I mean even
Though this this all the stuff you’ve done that’s you’ve gone through you still you know stepped out to the plane and and try to play the role of that somebody else just just be like you know what if I’m out and then just for and you you always try to be involved with
Them and that that’s at the end of the day that is what matters because you know some other people just take the easy route and say you know what I’m out all the way 100 yeah and the person yeah yeah it’s crazy but um I don’t like to give up man I’m still
Breathing above the Earth I’m still try to make it right but I just don’t deal with her though like like you know no communication it’s with the kids because it’s once again as we always been saying it’s all about the kids yep absolutely well hey Mike we appreciate
You uh for coming on man it was a a phenomenal you know time just hearing your story and hearing how resilient you are man um After all you’ve been through and it’s truly being blessing you know to be able to to hear your story and uh
For you to share this with the world we really appreciate you for being on for sure I appreciate y’all having me hope I could come again yeah absolutely absolutely gota have you back on gota have you back on story Mike appreciate you the story Mike thanks than uh any
Last words Diego I’m good I’m good I like to say something yeah before we close uh like I said I just appreciate y’all uh having me I really like what y’all are doing um I hope more followers out there doing this because this this this really helps out u a lot
This is almost therapy in a way itself also you know so um like I said once again I I appreciate y’all having me U from what I can see uh all y’all gentlemen are doing a good job and obviously y’all care or we won’t even be on tonight you know because we don’t
Have to do this we could be doing something else watching a game or not even caring to talk about what’s going on in life and our lives and just sharing our story so uh like I said I appreciate having me and and everything that y’all are doing that’s awesome
Absolutely absolutely thank you brother um for all the followers out there man just keep going man keep going it’s all about the kids it’s all about the babies um and even when they become adults like your job ain’t done you still Mentor you still have to be
Guidance um you still have to be a light you know what I’m saying in the dark places that your your adult children might go through uh you still have to be an example above all else so just keep going guys keep going guys and you are appreciated whether people tell you or
Not um you are appreciated so you know we created this this Brotherhood and this this podcast um as a way to you know uh sh shine a light on you know the fathers out here who are are putting in the work day in and day out to make sure
That their their uh families are being led in the right direction and because there’s so much there’s so much hate there’s so much uh negativity toward men in general but even Fathers as well um across social media across uh media in general and um you know I I think it’s
Time that we take a stand and uh you know show people not only because you know not to gloat or anything but you know just to show people that there is uh positivity when it comes to men and for those men who might feel like they’re buried under the rock of other
People’s Shadows for the men that have done wrong uh you’re not you know uh you’re our L you’re are appreciated and we gonna keep going at this thing so hey this another edition of the fatherhood exclusive podcast we appreciate y’all for tuning in we love y’all we appreciate y’all and we’ll see y’all
Next week you dig peace
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