I was I was just I made myself a milkshake earlier and wifey made uh she made baked ziti and usually milk is it doesn’t hit me like that but the combination of the ice cream and everything together my was like yo bro you you doing too much
Tonight I was I was on the toilet for like for like 20 minutes almost half an hour and I was like cutting it close I’m like come on please Yo what’s cracking what’s cracking what’s cracking welcome to another edition of the fatherhood exclusive I’m your host J Burke joined as always by my guys I got Diego on the building what’s up Diego what’s going on gentlemen Another Day in Paradise yeah yeah already know Angelo what’s going on
Brother what up fellas how’s everyone doing uh phenomenal phenomenal I’m a little tired I Ain gonna lie but you know you look a little tired yeah a little bit you know it’s been a long day and we got our special guest here man this dude is a phenomenal dude man
This dude man he a little bit in everything man he’s he’s a hip-hop artist man straight out of New York you know what I’m saying holding it down for the city man he he’s he’s just a artist and the Creator in general man he dances
He does all type of stuff man but most of all he’s a phenomenal father man has a beautiful family my brother zo what’s up brother yo yeah yeah y man thank you for having me guys thank you for having me I appreciate welcome zo yeah absolutely absolutely man so you know we
Wanted to have zo on man because he got some stuff on his heart man and it’s it’s we’ve talked about this before and it never gets any easier because I feel like in my personal opinion it’s one of man’s hardest I shouldn’t say hardest one of man’s most difficult
Challenges um and that’s on the subject of you know being productive with your time being productive with the day being productive with the year or whatever the case but then also you know being mindful of you know making sure you’re doing the parenting part um and it it’s
Hard man would you say like it’s hard to we always say like have a balance but I feel like there’s no such thing as having a balance what do you say about that z um so I want to say like first of all I’m I I’m still considered a new dad
My daughter is she’ll be 19 months uh this month so it’s it’s still a new challenge and I know you know like when it’s fresh it feels it feels like the hardest thing because you are just coming off like your life kind of changing up from like your relationship with your you know
Your significant others so it’s like all the things that you guys were doing change up your whole schedule changes up and then you have to adjust to this like this is a new life and it’s like in between all of that you know it’s like you have to find time for the
Relationship you have to find time for yourself and then your wife has to find time for herself so the one thing I am fortunate uh in is that um I now work from home and even when I was like working for six months I was working
Near home so I wasn’t too far away and um I get to be with my daughter in these early stages and I always thought that was something important um but then it’s like the creative side definitely has taken a hit you know I’m not able to really produce things uh as much and
Just like even having the time to and uh it’s something that I have been learning to accept that this is like a new life and a new standard and you know us as men we don’t use like we kind of like take that as like this is the journey
You know strap the boots up put the back back on and like you know this is a goal and um it it definitely takes you in waves when it comes to like your you know your mental health and your emotions but you really just kind of
Like this is it so it’s it’s still I’m still you know in that Journey so I definitely want to hear you know some of your stories because it seems like you guys are uh in in the fatherhood you know you you’ve been here like I’m just
Pulling up so you know I’m definitely to hear stories and just yeah you know take the experiences in yeah Diego what do you think man because I know we’ve talked about it before and and you definitely have a perspective that I think you know is you know need to be
Heard what’s up so yeah so uh hey congrats first to uh zo on on being a brand new dad that’s awesome absolutely absolutely you are you are 100% correct when you talk when you say um your life changes uh your schedule’s going to switch I mean it’s just a full 180 right
Uh you go from like being able to do everything you want whenever you want to to now now you have to plan to have a baby around you and and wake up at weird times but but it’s uh but it’s awesome so congrats to you and your wife thank
You um but to get back to the question um you you I think you hit the nail and the head when you said there’s there’s not a there’s no balance right um I I think uh if you’re if you’re raising by parents um they kind of have old school
Methods of like instilling you there says you know a man is supposed to uh be in charge of family be out there to to provide not that I’m taking nothing from women right but you know just in our genes right to to just kind of be the
The the winner and bread winner right um it is buried difficult for us to be able to find that that balance right um it’s you always all something has to get right and and unfortunately sometimes the the the time with your family the time with your your
Kids your spouse uh get sacrificed and this is where having the the right partner uh in in your life plays a huge role I mean they say behind a great man there’s a very strong woman and I truly believe on that um because she has to be
Able to hold hold the the the household down while you go out there and and make sure that you provide for them so um I I will say I I experience um very uh up and downs right because you know me focusing too much into work kind of took away from family
Time and and cost and you know distancing between me and my ex-wife which ended up in a divorce right so I I do understand some of the sacrifices um so it’s it’s very difficult and and sometimes we we get caught up on that and and we try to
Blame ourselves but um I don’t know I think I think uh as long as you feel that you’re doing your best to to provide to your family you shouldn’t uh feel a a a a some type of of guilt you should you should try to like you say
Manage your time a little bit better right I’m I’m actually learning how to time my my um manage my time a little better now that I’m you know I’m 42 um and it’s literally just like trying to take advantage of every single minute on the day right because you want to
Maximize the the time with your kids right um obviously now you know I’m I’m active duty with the military and I’m running a business on the side and so my my time is is super super uh busy and so when I have my kids and the weeks that I
Have my kids I try to maximize everything while they’re not uh around so that way when I have them I can actually spend time with them and believe me it’s it’s it’s hard uh it’s it’s not it’s not an easy thing and I think um it’s unfortunate most of the
Time we get punished for it right uh a lot of a lot of uh I don’t want to put the blame on nobody I think it’s just it’s just part of the nature and I think if you go back and you ask your dad and you as your
Grandpa they they went through the same experiences you know what yeah it’s just Society kind of shifted around where where um it’s different different perspective now that that makes you feel more guilty versus like hey that is the norm that is what you’re expected to do and you don’t
You don’t feel punished you know what I mean so yeah but yeah I mean that’s that’s all I’m going just go grab a charger sorry you’re good but yeah so that’s that’s what I I think so far it’s um on the subject I guess yeah you know what it’s interesting because what I
Found I wouldn’t say that works necessarily because it’s just an evergoing like trying to figure it out thing and that’s with everything fatherhood but you know what I found is that it’s just important to be 100% in the moment whatever you’re doing so you’re when you’re working on the
Business you know um so oh man who was I talking to uh there’s a guy named Lavar uh he’s also a dancer um out of Cali I think I don’t know if he still lives in Cali but um you know I was talking to him he he made a post the other day
About you know why everybody’s waking up so early in the morning and um you know he was like what what’s the significance of waking up earlier you know what I’m saying what’s why is everybody Waking Up 3 4 5:00 and I told him I said well
That’s the time where you can get Focus work done you know before your family gets up that’s the time where you can you know if you have a business if you waking up early you know you’re not disturbing the kids you’re not disturbing your spouse you know you can
Focus and really hone in on whatever you’re doing for a couple hours before everybody gets up so that’s an example of you know putting 100% into whatever you’re doing in the moment that way when they get up or when it’s time to spend time with the family you can spend 100%
Time focusing on the family and not all in jumping because I struggle with I don’t struggle I challenge I’m challenged with that as well you know being uh not only a business owner but you know foring military as well and you know I got all these things that I’m
Trying to do but um you know I often have trouble with you know being super present in the moment because my mind is like oh yeah I gotta get this done I gotta get this done I got but I’m supposed to be playing with one of the
Kids or you know all of the kids at the same time and I’m like oh okay you know I’m messing up I need to get myself together and I just got to refocus because if not I’ll be thinking about work and they can feel that they can
Feel that energy and Dad really not interested in playing with me and you know then then trouble what are your thoughts Angelo uh again congratulations on the being a new dad that’s awesome thank you I have two girls of my own and I tell you what being a girl dad is my absolute
Favorite it makes you it makes you like look things on more of a lighter side I would say you know you start to become more uh more innocent in yourself as a father more uh what is it called nurturing I feel like when you have girls first I prayed for girls first cuz
When I was in active duty I was a I had a chip on my shoulder I thought my [ย __ย ] didn’t stink I hated everyone and I was like I need a daughter first to to lighten me up and it just it was the best thing in the world for
Me but for me my one of my biggest things my advice is to you is don’t ever feel like you’re running out of time with your kids a lot of parents they like to play they to try to play ketchup while they’re gone and when you’re playing ketchup you miss out on more
Time you’re trying to shove a whole bunch of activities all at once and it just and sometimes just sitting with your kids and literally doing nothing is some of the best quality time in the world because you get to see you know how your kids think when there’re just
When there’s nothing going on and so that’s one of my favorite things is watching my son right he’s going through one of these things right now I say Granger you know eat your food and he likes to power down he just goes and I’ll be like I’ll be like
Granger and he don’t even move he was at my parents house he did the same thing my dad my dad slapped the counter didn’t even Flinch but like you know he’ be like each your and then he’ll peek like he like like he think he disappeared but
He just he just he just reboots you know and I don’t know what it is I don’t know where he got him from I don’t I don’t know anything else but it’s instinctual it is another another tip too and and I don’t I don’t want to say you’re lacking
In this apartment at all but always always keep that spark between your spouse I I’m currently divorced as well you know but always find those things to to like make her for a special in that day whether it’s a note whether it’s telling her she’s doing a great job
Anything in that you two coming together 100% that that baby’s gonna soar no matter what I think the the beautiful thing is like we’re together in it but I will say that very important because I’ll say you know I’ll be honest and like there is times where you think that
Just being together and like you know we lay together we watch TV together but the making them feel special is very important and I know that in that department because again like you said we’re we’re in our minds you know fellas we’re like you know I got to make
Whatever I’m doing works so that we can just and I think that you know a minute escapes you an hour escapes you a day you and then before you know a month went by and you know you guys haven’t really done any activities together just kind of made time for each other and
Even when you’re you know at home together it’s like if you don’t make that time to you know that intimacy yeah just to kind of like put that aside is and I’ve been just understanding like how important that is and uh just kind of working that out in between you know
Being the dad because like I said I’m very fortunate to have this time to be home with my daughter and you know watching her the world around her is the most amazing thing like I take her for walks and I like uh she we teach her sign
Language so it’s helping with her speech that’s awesome 18 months but she’s very very receptive she’s very conversational and just like her calling things out she you can see those neurons firing is this little girl so like when I see that she learns what or when I
Hear that she knows a new word or that she started put phrases together I’m just like what like when did you start putting these together and I’m just like you know it it attests to how we’re doing with her which makes me very very happy that it
Shows that we you know are doing the the work that we’re doing is very important and what it the thing is I feel fulfilled in that you know and then I think what happens is I take a look at you know uh um and I think it’s like an
An objective reality I call it whereas like you start looking at the objective reality where you’re looking at the things that you want to do as a as a man because we always have these goals and Ambitions and then I’m like man I’m behind like I got people out here you
Know it’s for me like being an artist I’m like yo man I’m not dropping anything I’m not releasing anything plus that whole thing and then um shouts out to Jay he’s supported my clothing line just over the years in general just whether he shouted it out or you know
Purchased some merchandise you know even with that I’m just like yo man I gotta catch up people is out here releasing stuff I got nothing on the market website is just kind of there and it’s like that stuff starts to weigh on you to where it and it’s something that you
Said that’s important it’s like your children can pick up on that like there’s times with my daughter where she’ll literally grab my face and like pull it towards her to just because I just get into my mind and I’m like wow she she pull me right out of it and I’m
Like you know what I’m here like I’m here I’m good these things will get done the world can wait right and I think you know what not to cut you off but no go ahead bro the crazy thing is I wouldn’t say it’s crazy but it’s interesting
That so I have nine kids right and got the Wayne’s family out [Laughter] there you know what I’m saying hopefully we can make as much money as they do but uh you know it’s it’s interesting that the girls are more territorial over me you know they
Will be you know what I’m saying like the boys are some except for my youngest boy but the boys are somewhat Mama’s Boys right um but the girls like they’re territorial over your time and so they they pick up on a faster than boys do like if you’re freaking looking
Elsewhere or you know if you’re on your phone or whatever case they’ be like um excuse me and and they not afraid to speak out about it even when they get old yeah so so it’s crazy that you know she’s developing that already like she’s
Like uh I’m here pay attention yeah at a very early age and it it just gets more intense as they get over they’re like um Dad hello and then okay I’m here you know what I’m saying and um yeah it’s it’s very important that we we going mess up you know what I’m
Saying but we got to try to be as present as we can be um you know in the moment because it’s those moments that you know that you can’t get back time is the only thing that we can spent and we can’t get back so it’s in
Those moments that you know they think about that stuff later on down the L you know as they become young adults and adults but I remember you know when dad you know he ignored me because you know he was on his phone or you know he was
Doing this or too hard or it’ll even get to the point when she sees you on your phone she’ll just he don’t want to talk y you know she’ll she’ll see those signs and then you’ll just be like I try to be very mindful of that too like we don’t
We don’t do too much screen time in the house and uh like um most of the day if I’m not you know trying to like I just really started getting back to productivity so it’s like if I’m not working on like the content to like
Bring the money in and it’s like I try to get that done as much as possible so I could like you know get back to her so fortunately like I’m I’m with her most of the day so I because I want to make sure that I build that Bond you know
It’s not like I don’t want it to be one of these things where like I’m trying to give her everything I didn’t have you know a father and all of this but yeah I want to make like I’ve always wanted to make sure if I had children I was there
With them I was present you know I worked with children for so long and I’ve seen my impact on children that aren’t even mine so so I’ve always seen that a a positive male you know masculine role model is very important in a child’s life because what it does
Is it gives them a a certain confidence like a male gives a child male or female a certain confidence that there can be better that there’s safety and when a child feels safe you know and they feel protected they will shine you know so my
Daughter like I try not to be like the like always running after her and like trying to let her fall you know it’s like that that that overprotectiveness but like I do let her explore as much as I can in a safe boundaries but she’s not
Afraid to and that’s what I love so she knows that she’s safe she knows she’s protected so I do allow her to explore and we allow her to do certain things because then it shows in her her personality like my daughter’s super happy like she’ll cry for two seconds if
We we don’t necessarily like scold her but like if she picks up something sharp we’re like uh so she’ll getet for like two seconds and then you know she’ll she’ll smile again but what that shows is like that means that the relationship that she has with us is one of that she
Feels safe in she feels safe enough to know if we tell her no or hey don’t do that there’s a reason and it’s not just like a you know com down on her so I think like watching that is has always been a good thing to me because um I
Just know that a lot of I know for me I didn’t have the positive male role models but I also know like you know my mother did the best that she could so I always wanted to make sure that you know she has you know like the both of us and
We both have our strengths with her that that’s like the coolest thing to meet man yeah I think I think Jay um brought up a good point and I think it I think it’s it’s being present right um it doesn’t matter if it’s if it’s five minutes that you’re allocating to
Whatever uh event that you’re doing with your kids or it’s two hours it’s being present um I think if you if you raise your your family with with good good um uh how to say Customs I guess um your kids are not as they grow up if you do
If you only focus on on work I don’t think they’re going to throw it in your face that that uh that you only work right because they’re going to understand that that you were out there grinding and providing for them what’s going to happen I think is going to is
Going to create that Detachment right your kids will respect you but they’re not going to have that bond that you would want um because you you w’t there present right so Jay said is like it’s it’s it’s being is being present on the moment now I’ll give you a bad example
Of what not to do right uh and I’m guilty and that this is why I started kind of shifting my my ways lately and I would say maybe within the past couple weeks right because I started noticing uh the the the Gap is started getting uh increasing as my kids get older because
I have teenagers right and uh so what I would do is I would say all right kids we’re going to go on a trip and we will take off on a trip but guess what was coming with me my laptop work and my other right so my kids come on we’re in a
Hotel we’re we’ll go out there we’re we’re spending some time and I’m like this right and then I get to the hotel room they’re like we’re going to go to the pool yeah you guys go ahead and go to the pool and then I go to the pool
With them and I have my laptop on my on my on on my on my lap right and I’m working while they’re playing and and to damn at that moment because they’re kids they’re like oh you know we’re at the hotel but they’re starting to see like
You know that was over always working right and they respect that they appreciate that my kids are very respectful and they understand that like you know I’m I’m trying to build something for them so when I I no longer exist in this world they’re gonna have something that they can keep growing
Right but it’s creating that Gap that is saying you know what I mean I don’t get to uh enjoy and have this this fun times with that right because that is always working yeah my kids have have already mentioned that made those comments and and it’s not that they’re being um you
Know appreciative or anything like that it’s just that that’s how they feel right so what I do now is I try on the weeks that I don’t have I try to cram as much as work as I can they’re not at my house it’s my time and I am not a a
Party person I’m not a very outgoing type of I like to be at home so guess what I do I just grind until I can’t no more right and then now when my kids come in on Sunday now I have the time to to spend with them I don’t I try my best
Not to get involved with work um once they go to sleep then I’ll try to put in one or two hours before before I go to bed and then the same thing trying to wake up as early as possible on during the weekend whatever to try to get get
Work on before they wake up so J let me ask you a question real quick how many hours of sleep do you get on average yeah uh five to six if I’m being honest three to four hours three to for okay how about how about you
Zoo um it depends it depends if uh so I think like our we’re usually in bed probably like around midnight sometimes earlier but it all depends like we try not to stay up you know try not to be up too late sometimes I’m up till two or three it
Depends on my workload so some weeks it’ll be heavier so sometimes I’m in bed like 9 10 other days it might be like 2 three so and then it’s like sleeping is different depending on the schedule so it’s like I could be sleep and then baby
Girl wakes up in the middle of the night she’s hungry so I got it’s in a fluctuation right now what about you Jay how many hours of sleep you get um I say about I said about five or six five or six I think on average the most dads out
There hustling get no more than six hours of sleep I I get about 3 or 4 I wake up at 3 o’clock for work every day and then I’m up until like 11 o’clock at night making sure my whole schedule set up for the kids even the days I don’t have
Them you know so there’s a trend right if you feel like you’re not doing enough and you’re risking that sleep you’re you’re you’re still doing enough even though as fathers we we never feel like we’re doing enough oh yeah yeah and that’s a thing that we can fall into too
Because you know some sometimes and this is why I always stress you know men need to to go talk to somebody sometimes if they going through stuff because it’s it’s amazing how much and you know when I say it’s amazing it’s because we were specifically designed to be able to take
On this amount of uh you know stuff in general in life but it’s amazing when you look back and you’re like dang like I had to carry all this stuff on my back you know what I’m saying and now I got to carry the family and now I got to
Carry the you know uh I wouldn’t I wouldn’t say burden but I got to carry the task or the challenge of you know making sure my family is in order and going in the right direction but we were specifically designed for that purpose and so when you think about it that way
You know it’s not something that’s necessarily crippling but it’s something that’s powerful because you were chosen to Father somebody you were specifically chosen to bring to help bring somebody into this world and raise them and so when you think about it from that perspective I it gives you a little more
It gives you a little more chess it gives you a little more you know what I’m saying it’s like I was specifically and especially you know I got a lot of kids so I’m like chose you you got but I say that I say that to say you
Know I didn’t feel like you know especially after a certain amount of time and after all the stuff that I’ve done in my life I haven’t always been you know the greatest person you know some might argue that I was the wor person in the world um but I didn’t
Always feel like that I deserved the opportunity to raise these because that’s what it is it’s an opportunity uh to raise these kids and you know to to play a part in their life um because of what I was doing but you know looking back on it it’s
Like that’s what kepts that’s what has kept me from you know going off the deep end that’s what has kept me from going too far astray especially from God is the fact that I have these kids that are depending on me and I have these kids
That are you know that look up to me and that you know U seek me for mentorship and I can’t you know be uh the type of dude that I was and continue to call myself a good father to continue to call myself you know um somebody who’s is
Doing what’s necessary to you know raise and develop these kids and so I was specifically designed with a purpose to have the opportunity to raise these kids and when I look at it from that perspective I’m like okay all bets is off you know what I’m saying I’m GNA
Do what I got to do on the productivity side when it comes to providing for the family when it comes to Leading the family praying over the family all this other stuff but then I also have to be a present father because for instance I
Gave you this and I wanted to say this when Diego was talking um um because I struggle with that too Diego like you know what I’m saying when I take Junior outside first of all this dude he just turned five on uh on Saturday and congrats to him yeah you
Know and then my youngest son he turns two tomorrow but you know he’s like oh take me outside I’m just like oh my God cuz I know what’s going to happen he going take me outside he going to want to run in circle was for 3 hours I’m like bro I
Can’t I can’t keep up last time I went outside with him so we bought a soccer net um you know cuz some of the kids like soccer so oh they got a bubble again so we bought we bought a soccer net and um we’re out there playing
Soccer and uh I gave it about a good five minutes and I was literally about to have a asthma attack like I was about to you look like The Rock in the game plan you ever seen that movie yeah yeah when he takes the ballet class he’s like
Yeah I was like I was like no I can’t do this and he’s like oh dad play with me I’m just like okay we got to slow it down and so when he asked me to go outside now I’m just like uh whatever you know I’ll take my phone you know
I’ll I’ll send some text messages I look I’ll you know look at emails or something you know but he’s looking at me like what are you doing like why even be out here you know what I’m saying and so I have to catch myself just like Diego like I have to catch myself
Because you know I have to take him outside as his father not as his chapero you know what I mean like I’m not taking him outside just to to let him run about I’m taking him outside because he wants to play with me and so I have to be mindful you know even
Though I know it’s GNA kill me like I’m telling you swollen ankles you know what I’m saying you know problem I read this quote um a couple days ago and just came to my feed um and and it kind of hit me really hard um when you’re a father they said
Remember that whatever you’re teaching your sons or your kids in this situation right you’re teaching your kids as kids right so what does that mean right whatever you’re instilling your kids right now at this moment is what they’re going to pass down to their generation
When they have kids right so we want to be able to to teach them good habits right now that they’re that they’re young because if we start with with you know always being absent like being there but mentally absent right that’s what they’re going to take when they
When they have kids and we going to build a a generation that that that continues to fall apart if you go back in time um when I was growing up in the 80s right uh there was times where like families Gathering was the important thing it didn’t matter where it was if
It was like five o’clock me and Ecuador uh families got got together at five o’clock at somebody’s house and they had coffee and they the kids mingled and the families mingled or Thanksgiving everybody got together there was no exceptions right but as because we live in a in a society now that’s so
Fastpaced and we have to have the the next thing the best next thing right to make ourselves better have you noticed that every time it’s less less uh family events less family attending and it gets getting detached and detached and detached and I think we it’s up to us to
Kind of bring those those those um uh I forget the word um tradition Traditions back together again and teach that to our kids so that way they take that when they’re and when they have kids and they say okay you know what when I was a kid
My dad always freaking you know got us together to uh do the the treat that we will not miss on it or you know we sit down on everybody’s birthday we did this and and those Traditions keep passing along because you make sure that you were there you were present right and
That is what I’m trying to get back on it again because like I said I am very guilty at it um I think I got caught up on the on the whole I want to be successful and I wanna I want to leave something good for my kids I want to
Leave a legacy I don’t want to leave I don’t want to leave them bills right but the same I am at the same time I’m sacrificing very critical time with them and uh you know Angelo said a minute ago he was like you know don’t feel like
You’re running out of time and it is very hard to not think that way especially when you start getting my age right I think I’m the oldest one on the group and it is yeah for now it is super um when you hit when you’re in your 40s every single day matters I
Don’t see life as as H as I did when I was in my 20s where I could just I had all the time in the world right right now every day that I waste on something that is not productive I feel like I just lost valuable time that I could
Have used to leave it for my kids right but at the same time now I’m starting to question myself like is this going to be worth it if I don’t have that connection with my kids when they when I when I’m old are my kids are going to be like man
I love going to see my dad every every day I’m going to go check on him because we used to spend every Saturday and we played Monopoly and that was our thing and we we’re not going to miss it no matter what right or is it going to be
Like yeah the old man did this for us and now they’re caught up on on living the same lifestyle they doing the same thing with their kids so you know you end up uh dying alone right this this this famous uh TV producer uh from uh from Chile his Hispanic guy he’s right
Now in his early 90s mid 90s and they interviewed him and the the thing that he said very famous guy the thing that he said he regrets the most is that he was so focused on his career that he lost the time that he had with his kids
His kids love him they respect him a lot but as he got older became a Grandpa he doesn’t feel that he had that connection that time with his kids now that they’re all grown that he if he could change time and he would that that would be the
Thing that he would do he would not focus so much on his career because the Dude is famous and will will leave a legacy uh in the Latin Community but at the sacrifice of what right and when you get into those moments where you know
Your time is is about to end in this world that is where you start thinking about that and you don’t wanna you don’t want to get there you know because I think it’s it’s going to be a very painful way to to leave this place when
You thought that you were doing the best for for your kids you know you want to leave happy you want to say you know what I did I L my kids we spend a bunch of time I leave leave them a good good product that they can continue right you
Wouldn’t want to hand them everything right let them work at it and then you know have a good relationship with them so that is my goal as yeah person it’s tough though because you know just like you know we had uh DJ Michael Watts on here a few weeks ago
And you know even he was saying like you know he got caught up in you know producing and making music you know being a DJ that you know he he didn’t get to form a bond that he would have liked to form with his his oldest kids
And with his first uh kid’s mom right yeah and so it’s like but there’s such a pressure on men to to be able to do that so my question is for Zia like do you feel like that’s a pressure that we put on ourselves or a
Societal pressure uh so it was a few things that I kind of want to hit because everybody said something that like had my mind going and yeah go I feel like even us as men now like we’re still the cogs is going as we’re having this conversation but um something I
Thought of while we were having this conversation was like the our children will always have and find ways to make money you know because Society is always going to keep going but they don’t get another one of us and I think like just kind of like thinking about that is like
They they won’t get another one of us you know they will not have a there will be a time where they can’t come to us and it’s like you know Diego you were saying where you want to focus on creating those memories and those moments because you want them to have
And those Traditions you know that’s something that like my Wife dresses like she said you know that her dad used to always take her to this one Park you know this one park and it’s like even now in her adulthood like that’s something she remembers as she took me to the park
Where they used to go so it’s like that is very important it’s just building those like regardless of you know what you think that you might have to accomplish the biggest thing is like leaving that impact on your children and you know putting yourself in their life
To whereas like you said when you are old and you know you can’t really like your time is is coming or just like when you kind of decide to be like ah man I’m I’m spent like I am finished I’ve done all I can my body just won’t do it
Anymore your children will like carry you the rest of the way with that love that they pour back into you because you’ve done that and um I think that there is a pressure on uh men to kind of like hyperfocus on success and it’s and not only that I feel like Millennial men
Cuz we’re all still you know Millennial men and I think the millennial man unfortunately we got caught in this like Crux of the traditional guy and the new age Guy where it’s like we are kind of this Lost Generation where we might have built the internet but not every one of
Us got to like eat off of that like quick gain and like you know not everybody got to like dabble into the crypto and all these different things that kind of like made everybody overnight millionaires or just like sustainable you know overnight we’re still trying to figure out how we can
Take the knowledge that we had and we’ve gained over the years to kind of build that sustainability and I think that the pressure of not only that like that societal pressure and all of these things going around you see that the 19 year olds millionaires 25 year old
Millionaires and you’re like dang man if I was just able to get out there like I could like just I just need a I need two years just give me a solid year I need six months to just get hit it hard and when I think about it I’m like you know
As a musician I’ve kind of come to terms with the fact like I was always like y I want to be independent and you know now I’ve come to terms I’m like yo I don’t there’s a certain level of Fame that I don’t want to see because I realize what
It does is it takes you out of yourself and if I’m never myself then I don’t want it and um I think that when you come to terms with just being who you are because like you said that guy is the top you know TV personality and he’s
Miserable in his 90 years of age and we’re starting the beautiful thing is we’re actually starting to see a lot of the celebrities that we kind of idolized crack and you know like the the the the cracks in the mold a lot of them are miserable with all of the money that
They have and all of the time that they’ve utilized they’re miserable because they were taking outside of themselves and you know when you do that you can’t give yourself to your children you can’t give yourself to yourself for your family so I think that one thing
That I was able to just sit back and take was like yo I will never get this opportunity again like you said something so important Jay like I was chosen you know I am proud to be a father like I wear that’s a badge of honor like I wear it like you know
That’s that’s everything to me so I I got to keep my health I got to keep my safety I don’t just walk for myself the purpose that I walk for is more than that so I feel like when I just wake up and I think about that like even the
Days I’m tired I’m like man like baby girl sometimes wakes me up and she be up at the crack of dawn like she it’s no it’s no games like when she’s up everybody up we all up so you know it’s like I’m up and I’m just like you know
What I take that a couple of minutes where I’m just like I won’t get this time again I got to take this moment like even today before I did this you know she was going to sleep and uh you know most of the time I read
To her but sometimes I’ll just like rock her to sleep and then I was like you know what let me read these couple of books to her because I won’t get this time again and it’s just like I want to make sure I’m taking all those moments
To just like insert these things here and there because like I feel the pressure I see the pressure but it’s just like when I think of the pressure of like what could be with father and what this could do to her I’m like nah it’s not there’s nothing that’s worth it
You know there’s nothing that could be worth seeing that smile on her face seeing you know just as as she grows what we’re able to give her with our just ourselves because you know children they don’t care about the things there’s nothing you can give a child that like
Will deter them from you what they’re happy about is you gave it to them you know like I can give my daughter a cardboard box and she’s same so I think that like these are the things that I think about like of course success is still on my mind because like you said
Jay like this is this is just men like this is how we’re built we are built for success in any kind of way like we’re built to just be successful and find ways whatever we got to navigate um and I think that it’s just something you said like those are the challenges we
Face the challenges it’s just like how do we create our idea of success and make it attainable and it seems like you know if we’re able to have this conversation like we are on the technology that we are we’ve achieved some level of that you know yeah yeah
Absolutely what do you think Angelo um I saw this other quote the other day and yeah I I don’t whenever you guys started having kids you know you guys have your friends who still want to party and and they kind of they kind of be like oh Bro
You’ve gone soft or you got any friends like that zo like man you don’t go out anymore or you know what um I’ll say so I do have friends that are still kind of like out there because all of my friends are dancers But like everyone I was you
Know fortunate to have most of like I kind of always had a a good Circle you know the dance circle that I was around I always just kept the same people so I never really went out to be like oh I need to with the social light so they
Were actually like yo you you’re be a great dad but there was a few people here and there I had to like you don’t want to keep losers in your life I I set that I set that to myself the second and I had kids if you ain’t going somewhere
In life I don’t need you in mine you know if you’re not going to be there during my Downs I don’t want you there during my success exactly but this quote this quote that I saw say when you become a dad people think that you’ve lost your step but now we just look
Before we take them you know what I mean and I was like that that right there on the you gotta you gotta put a you gotta drop a bomb on that one right there that is that is true that is you always look before you take them and and
And that’s that’s another thing about the greatest success about being a man is being a good father to me that’s I don’t care if I live paycheck to paycheck if I got to borrow money from some people KN on my gravestone I want he was an amazing father that’s all I
Care about so my my only my only advice to you zo is since you got a little girl what’s her name by the way Nova Nova beautiful name um thank you thank you that name never stop dating your daughter you bring your wife flowers you bring your daughter flowers when she’s
Three when she can start remembering those things I take my girls on daddy daughter dates I take them together and then I’ll take one off and then I take them off and then I even give my kids yesterday we just had one last weekend never stop dating your daughter
Yeah and some people might construe that make it all weird but that’s how I look at my girls you know I understand completely what you mean never stop dating them it’s because she that’s how she’s going to learn how to she’s going to learn how to respect herself through
That and I do that’s another thing man I feel like uh I feel like just being on the internet and the way they try to like take it’s I don’t want to drop the bombs but it’s like it it’s real crazy to me how they try to cut out men in
Society and I know this is been a big talk and normally like I don’t voice these things but just becoming a father and working like I was just working in a preschool for six months so pretty much kids right above my daughter’s age like from two to
Four I was the only well I was the only male in the school uh well this second two two males it was when I first started working there was three of us one guy left and then another guy left um a little bit shortly before I did so
For I would say like two and a half months I was the only male in this building and I could see the need of it like the parents were ecstatic to have me there nobody was weird about it yeah the place you know the place didn’t even
Have cameras so it was like the raw trust but also having someone like I speak to parents I learn parents’ name I know the kids names I knew I’m like a principal man like I knew all the kids names in everybody’s room so when they’re walking in the hallways oh hey
There uh you know Justin hey there Gabby so I’m like and the parents are like well who’s that how do you you know how do you know that teacher and like oh you know that’s Mr Josh real name by the way so um I see the importance of just being
That figure to insert yourself and I also see why they’re trying to take that and make it something wrong in the media or something to kind of be like like backlash at because if you don’t have a protector you can just storm the village and I see that that’s where things are
Going you know and that’s why there’s such a fight to get this like like men can’t even voice their opinions in a certain way because they’re seen in a certain way but it’s like men need to voice their opinions because what happens is like there was something that
We said going back if we continue the traditions of our fathers and grandfathers who didn’t get to speak about things then like we only create these like these Vicious Cycles of like trauma but because we’re able to do this and have these conversations we’re able
To be like no matter what stage and what age we’re at we’ll be were able to be like yo man it’s all good you know like you you got this you know no matter what age you are you got this and then we can look at ourselves with that self-esteem
And be like you know what I’m I’m doing it you know I I had some setbacks but I’m I’m still good and I think that’s important like they keep trying to take men out of this space and they keep trying to keep us away from each other
Like by dividing Us by Race by color by this and it’s like all these all we need to do is this just have conversations and then we can we can be like yo they’re really trying to like ice us out here you know and it’s important that we stick together and we
Have these communities and we have these meetings because you know we do need each other you know just as like women need the village men need the village and I think something that I hear a lot is like you know men were hunters and gatherers but it’s like at the same time
Not everybody could hunt there were Scholars there were painters there were Artisans these types of men and people are needed and all these conversations are had because that’s how we forward our society and that’s how we protect our society by like yo what are your strengths what are your weaknesses what
Are you good at and it’s just something that I’ve seen and I think that it’s really interesting how is I just thought it was interesting of like how they really Tred to like Buy box us out and they try to like take masculinity and turn it into something like so poisonous
When they use these terms and it’s like we can’t even stand up for ourselves in conversations you know yeah yeah it’s crazy it’s it’s an ongoing battle and we just got to keep fighting the fight um and and when I say fight to fight I don’t I don’t necessarily mean you know
Uh in a in an aggressive way because you know that’s that’s what they expect from us yeah that’s what they expect from us that’s it’s a way to provoke us so that they can say look look I told you exactly exactly we need to stand up and we need
To stand together um on the basis of we are leaders um we are strong men we have value um we we value ourselves um and we are by no means weak because uh you know we we do have a gentle heart you know at the right times
You know what I’m saying and it’s like it’s an ongoing battle we’re just gonna keep fighting and that’s a part of the reason we created this podcast is because we saw we saw an empty space um fathers aren’t being talked about you know and on the light side of things we
Only get talked about on the dark side of things um people are quick to throw out you know oh this father did this and you know this dead beat blah blah blah but when you hear about when do you hear about good Fathers you never because that doesn’t
That doesn’t grab people attention that that doesn’t get good clickbait as they say exactly sell right it doesn’t sell right it’s just like it’s just like if you committed a crime right crimes are always going to sell in the news the social media right because that is that
Is that is what attracts people right um the good uh the Good Sam Samaritan is not going to come out on the news but the guy that you know robbed the old lady is right because that that is going to like uh like zo said is going to separate that’s that’s what creates
Animosity and keeps keeps people focused on that while something is happening in the background right yeah complete out of the subject right me I’m not going to go into it but that’s what how media works is they they they put you they try to create this this problem that’s going
To get people so busy so caught up on it and and and have them fight at each other in order to keep people entertained while other things are happening in the world right and it and right now it’s it’s almost like the trend I was I say I say it’s a trend of
Being the man is the bad guy right now the the the M toxic masculinity people even know what how that those two words don’t even exist they don’t even go together right they don’t they don’t go together is is it’s a it’s a a man and a
Female can be toxic right um but but they create these things to get people’s attention right and and unfortunately we live in a in a world of technology where everything travels so fast and it picks up and in depending on who is the person who who puts that that message people
Will follow if you give it to the right you know actor or the right uh you know YouTuber or whatever people are going to pick up and it’s gonna be like yeah that is true and they’re GNA take it like go right and I love the fact that like now
Things are starting to come Out Come kind of go back in time I just read in h a snap on a on an article where NFL players are bringing God into the picture where they’re saying the reason why I’m here is because of God and and they’re bringing Rel ReliOn
Back in there because they’re tired of this whole you know toxicity uh lifestyle right and people are starting to revert back to like their old ways um and I don’t know I think I think it’ll as long as we stay strong and we continue to to do these
Kind of things um that Trend will pass and uh like all of you guys said is it’s up to us to continue to keep passing this thing along and creating this this community is only going to keep getting stronger the more people we get the more men and women they we get
Uh involved and and this community is the the faster we’ll get over this thing you know I mean because there’s a lot of people that wanna wanna they been looking for this I I cannot explain Express how much the people that I talk to how are that we have this
Going on because inside they they’ve been wanting to EXP Express themselves but they just couldn’t now they found a an an area a club where they can freely speak their minds and they’re not gonna be like oh you’re toxic you know I mean
So um yeah I think it’s it’s up to us to just keep keep building this up it’s it’s awesome can I give another example on on a media situation before we sign off I know we’re getting close to an hour but it’s like say if a say if a
Husband drained an entire bank account and ran off from the family there’d be a full on man hunt for this dude right but when the wife goes and drains a bank account takes the kids the question is what did the husband do and that’s that’s never I don’t think
That’ll ever change and it’s and it’s sad and it’s disgusting to to to think that we live in that world and then then this podcast is trying to shed light even if we shine the smallest amount of light on a few 10 20 people making a
Difference but it it comes down to the after the world we live in that’s the world we have been living in and when is the point where we can take that and make it both look wrong instead of just the man always looking wrong yeah right yeah absolutely that’s definely true
It’s a thing of Integrity man it’s a thing of Integrity um we just we got to be who we say we are you know as a people um man and woman and you know we’ve had women that have have uh supported this movement supported this podcast and they’re strong women you
Know they’re not weak mind and women they’re not you know falling into the traps they’re like hey I’m glad you guys are doing this the world needed this because they know um how to support men and they know how to be supported by men you know what I’m saying and so you know
We’re going to keep growing we’re going to keep going and um you know we’re happy to have you on zo man this was I apprciate been an honor brother do yeah we definitely gotta have you back on again man just yeah absolutely absolutely Angelo any last
Words uh one thing for for yo is don’t ever be afraid to let your daughter see you fail because my daughters my daughters have been the reason that have picked me back up and I’ve been 10 times stronger because they if you’re G to sit there and a lot of people want strong
Dad you know carry your emotions on your shoulder my daughters have seen me at my lowest and the fact that that is has made me stronger because they pied my head up and tell me it’s going to be okay and my bond has never been stronger
With my daughters letting them see me at my absolute worst yeah I love that I love that thank you Diego ah I will say that you know um for all the dads out there grinding um just try to find that that time to to be present really be present in the moment
Um and just know that you’re doing good and you’re not the only one out there there’s a lot of us that are struggling with the same time management and and trying to do our best and I think your families uh your kids your spouses will will notice if you’re if you’re really
Trying your hardest to to be present and and you know I think that’s all that matters you know so absolutely Diego where can they uh work can they contact you man if they need screen printing or embroidery or anything Battle Cry gear got going yeah so um if uh anybody’s interested um
I am a screen printer I do custom stuff uh I embroider I I just recently started uh lasering so yeah they can hit me up at a battlecry gear 22@gmail.com um and um I will get whatever custom stuff you guys need absolutely absolutely Z any last
Words um I want to say this for you guys definitely for all the the dads out there um your journey is not over uh no matter how much you feel like it’s your your time is getting close and it’s just like cutting close your Journey’s not
Over you have so much more to give the world and you know there are people that want to see it they want to see you win um more like more than your kids and more than anybody in the world there’s people out there that want to see you
Win so just continue on keep going don’t stop like your purpose here is real absolutely absolutely hey man where can where can they follow you at zo uh pretty much all my social media is the Wolfman t h WX LF M an uh absolutely music clothing stuff uh I do do graphic
Design so if anybody needs that and if you just wanted to hit me up to just say what’s up then you know I appreciate that I’ll be adding you what’s the what’s the false claim website oh yeah so uh the website is just in a stasis but it’s a false
Claim.com it’s a urban street wear just kind of New York based in dance culture hip-hop culture music culture so um if you just want to drop a follow on the Instagram false claim Co I’m working on some of the next stuff and again appreciate you Jay for always supporting
Line just supporting me music wise and everything else appreciate you having me here this is definitely a great space for uh men as well as parents in general and I really really appreciate you having me for real absolutely most that it’s important that we um it’s the last
Thing I say it’s important that we surround ourselves with not only like-minded people but people who are going to uh Elevate um and then people are who are going to push us to elevate as well um there’s so much hatred going on in the world uh specifically in America you know uh
There’s so much hatred you know they like to talk about what’s going on over seed which is there’s a fact there’s a lot of dumb stuff going on overseas but just in our own cities in our own States in our own country there’s so much hate and there’s so much um
Unnecessary uh devaluing of each other um instead of you know congratulating your brother and your sister when they’re doing well um you know what I’m saying not trying to tear them down but trying to elevate them so I think it’s important that we as Fathers as we as
Men and as we as brothers just to continue to uplift each other support each other and push each other to do better and do greater things because that’s going to then fall right into our kids um and then they’re going to see that example and they’re going to
Continue to push each other especially you know when you got brothers and sisters blah blah blah you know we got to teach our kids to to support each other and you know that’s how we’re going to change the Next Generation so hey this has been the fatherhood exclusive we appreciate y’all for
Walking with us um for so long this is the 22nd episode we got a lot a lot more to talk about tun in next week um we’re GNA keep going y’all we love y’all we appreciate y’all and we’ll see y’all next week stay strong Kings abolutely
source
