If you clicked on this video chances are you faced imposter syndrome at one point or another you don’t feel like you belong despite having a track record of success perhaps in your dating life you’re getting some matches going on some dates but don’t feel like you’re
Good enough to get the girl or even in your Social Circle you constantly compare yourself to others and don’t feel successful enough compared to your close friends trust me guys I’ve experienced impostor syndrome in literally every aspect of life dating social League career you name it I felt
It that could be a catchline right you named it I felt it in this video I’ll teach you how to overcome your imposter syndrome in three simple steps and even use myself as an example of how I started believing in myself when it comes to this YouTube
Channel so before I dive into how I personally overcame my impostor syndrome and built out Chang Nation posted multiple Chang Retreats and trained over 70 online clients I actually want to talk about why imposter syndrome is extremely prevalent amongst Asian guys and put simply impostor syndrome is basically the feeling that you’re not
Good enough from my experience it really boils down to three things number one cultural upbringing I don’t know about you guys but growing up my parents wanted me to do all in school they’ll send me to cumon after class eventually this turned into SAT prep when I was in
High school and even enroll me in Chinese School on the weekends looky boy was a any school drop out but uh anyways deep down I know my parents had the best intentions since honestly one thing Asian parents are really good at is looking out for their child and setting
Them up for success and in their mind life success is driven by education you know for my parents they came over because of education and I think this is very common for a lot of East Asian households a byproduct of this mindset is that you grow up in environments such
As you know SAT prep class or Chinese School where people tend to be overly competitive and there’s this like thing with Asian parents where they tend to compare their kids to one another oh hello you’re my new neighbor you just moving yes we moving in for my son’s new
Job oh good what up neurosurgeon it’s like the version of flexing you know how like nowadays you got the genen Z kids on social media flexing their Lambos or taking pictures with models well for our parents their version of flexing was essentially you know showing off the kids report cards
How many a they got where they got into college what jobs they got who they married which kind of makes no sense because it’s like a disconnect with the marriage part considering Asian parents don’t really teach their kids to date but um that’s a whole another tangent
Now I was actually fortunate enough to have pretty chill parents not like the tiger mom and helicopter dads where they just like hover around you 24/7 and make sure you’re hitting the books oh man this is Hard but despite having chill parents I did still experience this feeling of an adequacy and this was especially the case when I went off to college since I went to a pretty good school during my freshman year I had impostor syndrome like I didn’t belong how did I even get
Into the school I’m way dumber than all the kids around me the list goes on and on not only did I feel this way academically with my peers but I actually felt this way socially since you know I actually got rejected from multiple fraternities when I tried to
Join them you know I put myself out there and they just didn’t want me and I think you know despite a lot of the internal beliefs you can tell yourself often times your environment becomes your reality so that’s why it’s super important to be in a supportive environment essentially now the second
Reason why it’s very common for Asian guys to experience imposter syndrome is the lack of positive Asian male role models now this plays out differently than the first point since I think the cultural upbring and environment aspect applies more to academics and career whereas this factor is more related to
Dating in Social success I actually think the reason there’s so many Asian-American guys that tend to struggle with dating or aren’t as optimized as they could be is because plain and simply we just weren’t taught how to socialize your date growing up right unless socializing what is with
Your world you book or multiplication charts on a weekly basis uh yeah those don’t count I don’t know bad joke bad joke but seriously I had to personally go through the trenches myself to learn how to socialize okay now I say this not in a weird like robotic sense cuz you
Know there are a lot of like people out there that teach social skills and they almost like overanalyze it you know it’s not rocket science but at the same time there is still merit to learning that right and like I mentioned when I was a freshman in college your boy got
Rejected from like literally every fraternity on the Block I rushed a business fraternity I rushed two social fraternities didn’t get in this essentially sent me back to the drawing boards the following summer where I truly began my self Improv journey and I began this journey with the goal of
Becoming more likable so being likable is actually a very good trait I think often times when you go from someone that’s super not likable I guess in my case you know I don’t even think I was super not likable I just think I wasn’t good at putting myself out there just
Really quiet shy and um yeah basically I went from being super quiet shy not good socially to almost like a nice guy especially with dating but I think it’s better just to be like a likable nice guy than a super quiet introverted person that no one knows exists while I
Did eventually experience social and dating success via getting into a business in Social fraternity and eventually getting a girlfriend in college there’s always this back of Mind thought that you know I’m not enough or just basically AUM and inadequacy basically imposter syndrome for me I honestly didn’t really experience true
Self-confidence in myself until I was around 25 years old and met positive Asian male role models such as Kevin Tang from amp Asia since meeting him honestly inspired me to move to Vegas live in the amp house and basic basically put myself in an environment that would help me succeed really help
Me discover myself and become more proud and aligned with my age and Heritage that’s honestly why I host Chang Retreats because the truth of the matter is for me Chang nation building this out is more about purpose it’s really not about the money there are a lot better
Ways to make money than grinding Out YouTube videos trying to offer you know online services like I feel like working at a well-paying job is probably a lot easier to make money but for me this is all about like Brotherhood and mentorship since I know that if I had an
Asian Brotherhood Ood and essentially like a mentorship program or immersion experience earlier in my life I definitely would have avoided a lot of the pain and rejection especially in the dating and social Department the final reason a lot of guys experienc imposture syndrome is due to what I like to call
The self-critic mindset now this is closely related to the other two points but I found that Asian guys especially East Asian guys tend to be super harsh on themselves myself included it’s like everyone has that glass half empty mindset instead of the glass half full mindset where they just look at the dark
Decide what went wrong and are just pessimistic about the outcome and for me I couldn’t really acknowledge my wins I would always look for reasons to Discount myself for example if things went well on the day i’ would be like oh did I like you know ask too many
Questions did I send the text at the wrong time was I making too much ey contact I’ll would just really get in my own head and this is very counterintuitive for like dating and socializing cuz I feel like the concept that guys need to unlock is called social Freedom basically the ability to
Express yourself whenever you want especially when talking to girls you’re attracted to I feel like if you’re able to you know exercise Social Freedom then that’s the best way to date because you’re dating from an authentic Place versus dating from like a place of neediness and honestly for me I wasn’t
Able to overcome this inner self-critic in myself until I got an overwhelming amount of evidence and this evidence just proved to myself that I am good at whatever I’m trying to do or I am confident enough now I know this kind of goes against traditional therapy because typically with therapy you talk through
Your trauma you work through the drama you discuss your feelings and then you try to let your talking Inspire your actions like the idea is like you talk through whatever is going on in your brain and then you feel better about yourself and you’re able to you know change your
Behavior but honestly I actually think the process is a bit of the reverse so I think the only way you can truly develop true self-confidence is through taking action in your behaviors and by taking action you basically rack up wins and then the wins and evidence is what
Changes your internal you know thoughts right and that’s what helps you overcome that inner critic and be confident essentially the simplest example I like to give and why I’m a huge advocate of cold approach is I didn’t truly become confident in myself until you know I hit 100 cold approaches got good feedback
From girls and felt like I had more control over my dating life but that required me to go through the trenches right like hitting 100 cold approaches is no joke it’s actually like hella scary hella hard most people can’t do it but by putting the work in taking action
And getting the evidence for myself that’s how I was able to develop confidence in dating now in terms of how I personally overcame impostor syndrome with this YouTube channel basically for the longest time I always thought that I had a really small Channel you know I don’t even have 10,000 subscribers yet
So I had this mindset that my opinion wasn’t worth listening to but I’m actually slowly realizing that I actually do have something to offer like you know I don’t claim to be this Guru or like dating coach even though I have given my advice and my feedback and it’s
Help people out in my opinion I think like the men’s self-help as well as the dating sphere especially for Asian guys has just a lot of like for lack of a better word frauds right I’ve had many people come to me saying they paid for this coaching or they paid for this
Service and you know they didn’t get their money’s worth or they were pressured into joining something or they didn’t really get value from it right and ultimately I think that’s why like the self-improvement in dating space has a really slimy connotation it has the same con ation as you know like a used
Car salesman because the truth of the matter is this is like a money grab for a lot of people you notice a lot of guys will churn through this industry like they’re in and then they’re out after one or two years cuz longevity in any industry requires brand reputation and that’s
Hard for the longest time and still to this date I don’t really call myself an expert on this stuff I just frame it as like okay I went through experiences and I like to share my experiences and hopefully you know can help out guys that can relate honestly for me the
Turning point was meeting one of my fitness clients Dre cuz he actually really believed in Chang Nation I started coaching him in June of last year and when we first hopped on the call I could tell he was super excited and I was like what the [ __ ] like he
Actually prepared this slide deck of why I should accept him as a fitness client and I’m just like bro I’m I’m over here trying to pitch you to join and he’s like trying to pitch me to accept him right and what happened was he’s like a Philipino guy so I guess like Filipino
People love like Facebook groups so he thought I had like a Facebook group or WhatsApp for my clients which I didn’t at the time but essentially he motivated me to build something out for my existing clients cuz at that point I had trained like over 50 people across the
Past few years and I basically put together a WhatsApp group of handpicked individuals for my clients and one thing led to another that led to an inperson meet up in Vegas that led to the Chang Retreat concept and ultimately I just want to build a community where people
Can go especially Asian guys just feel a sense of belonging feel empowered since for me I struggled with my Asian identity for the first 25 years of my life and it really wasn’t until I met Kevin and got plugged into his Network that I started really embracing my Asian
Identity and that’s why I built out chain Nation you know just want to pass it forward to you guys coming back to the impostor syndrome you know how did I personally overcome with chain Nation I took a leap of faith and just YOLO right I offered a retreat before I had done
One right it sold out I offered another Retreat it sold out again and you just never know what’s going to happen if you don’t take that initial leap of faith in whatever you’re scared to do in your life the only way you can ever build up and rack up the evidence to show
Yourself your enough and defeat that impostor syndrome is to just take that initial leap of faith a leap of faith that is much easier when you have a support network behind you or what I like to call your wolf tribe right or wolf pack the three steps to overcoming
Impostor syndrome in your life is you know step number one take action you got to take action cuz since the truth of the matter is you’re not going to overcome this inner critic by reading books meditating getting therapy you just really need to take action and Conquer your fears right let’s say you
Have fear of dating go out there talk to girls in the real world and then the second step is you need to not just take action but you know perform retrospectives right let’s say like you got to be really analytical and think okay what went well what didn’t and how
I can I improve next time it’s that continuous process of like Improvement I think like kaizen’s some phrase that self-improvement gurus like to say like 1% better each time or something essentially you want to take action in the improve each time and then rinse and repeat that’s the third step because as
You take action you get the feedback of okay it went well build confidence like level up XP and confidence or it didn’t go well you learn from it level up XP and knowledge you’re always leveling up when you take action and by just taking action and iterating and then repeating
That process eventually you have so much evidence at your fingertips that you’re undeniable right cuz at the end of the day you just want to become undeniable in whatever you do so that your actions speak louder than words and that my friends is how you overcome impostor syndrome
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