What’s up y’all your boy suave model back with another suave talk today we’re here with my dad michael dykes and today we’re going to talk a little bit about brotherhood the importance of it and then growing up to become a member of a fraternity him being a member of the alpha phi
Fraternity so i know that you growing up you had no brothers but you did have sister siblings so how did that affect you and did that have any impact on you joining a fraternity um yeah it did happen it did have some effect on it because
Um not having not growing up with any brothers um i felt like joining a fraternity would help me to um you know have brothers that i can can call my call my brothers and you know so that we can have that brother the type thing so that’s it definitely had
Influence on my decision to join the fraternity and i know that you grew up in a somewhat of a tougher area than most have grown up in and a lot of people would consider that to be starting at the bottom and coming up do you feel like where you grew up at and
What you had to deal with whether it was your neighborhood or your in-house situations do you feel like those impacted you in a negative or a positive way or did it kind of not need the war i grew up in a little suburb i mean growing up
When we growing up it wasn’t that way it was um you could leave your front door open you can have your car door open so the wheelbarrow that is there today is not the one we grew up in at all okay um so yeah it was it wasn’t at the bottom now okay
I had to make sure because i know right now there’s a lot of uh a lot of debate about the generations being completely different from the past generation so do you feel like you see a difference between me my brothers and all your kids that you know compared to
When you grew up because i know that some might say oh you guys are more you know a lot of older people say oh we had it a lot harder back in our day do you feel that way about you know the way that all the kids are being brought up
Right now or do you feel like it’s getting worse or better i think the environment that you guys are growing up in is different um we didn’t have anything like that like when we were growing up we can run outside all day um our neighbors you know were respected so
Um you know you you had we had miss burke with john cross street from us right you know knowing that they were watching us so we were safe i guess it was it was safer i think nowadays people look at it like people’s money businesses don’t don’t
Worry about what else is kids right or kids just disrespectful all right we didn’t do that like we respected our elders um if they told us something we might not have liked it but you know we gotta give thanks for the day yeah you know so our parents our parents were you know
They knew other people’s neighborhoods so we when we were growing up it was different so we respected all we were we were raised to um to respect our elders right so i’m you know i’ve been growing up we could be in a room and um with adults
And if you enrolled adults and you hear stuff going on somebody might say something you wouldn’t have whom you don’t say a word you don’t speak you know nowadays kids kind of jump in and get involved back in the day he got backslapped a couple times um
Doing that so i think it’s a bit different now right um i still don’t play that my sisters don’t play that but you know there are some some parents that um value being more their kids friend than being their parents i noticed that as well but
My my main concern i feel like right now is that a lot of a lot of the family values of the way of coming up has changed like you said a matter of respect we have lost and i’m speaking from my generation from you know being being raised by someone
Like you a lot of people have lost the value of respect or the you know where respect can get you as far as jobs opportunities in life and just everything in general it does impact that and i feel like that’s why customer service itself has been taken out you
Know now we’ve got all the cell phone technology and it’s for other reasons obviously but i feel like that is a major part is the fact that we don’t necessarily have that level of respect that was back then where you could go to a store and you can talk to somebody and
They knew your parents so you knew not to act up and stuff like that um i didn’t know that obviously you had your own you know troubles and things that you got yourself into by your own decisions um but as far as like you know having the freedom that we have right
Now do you feel like that was different from what you had back then because like you said you know you guys had freedom on the block and everything like that but were you limited to where you could go during that time or was it more so like free ball um
I think back then the rule was you might be home or in front of your house when the street light come on so um the street light ruled our time back then that was our indicator so um we watch the sun going down and we watch the the lights
Come on so you need to be um and and uh by the house right you know if not you have to get permission like i want to be at my friend maybe rich house or brian house around the corner if they knew that but you know like once again you didn’t feel
Bad because everybody that was who’s veg about it right right street lights come on everybody was home more on the block might be hanging in front of your house or something like that but now i mean even now i was talking to eric about this other day is
Um kids are outside tomorrow they they’re in the house doing fortnite playing video games so when you have that you have very you have kids that are not active yes so and i think that’s a detrimental because um you don’t have you see it in sports you know uh you
Don’t have little league i mean a lot of times they’re trying to scrounge to get enough kids to come out to play sports because kids wanted to stay home um hooked to the tv or playing a video game or you know something like that versus with us when i was growing up we
Didn’t want to be in the house like we didn’t yeah you couldn’t keep us in our our whole goal was to go outside the house and um you know just have fun interact now interactions more i would say um over the phone i mean with video games you talking
That’s not your interaction i think i think that’s uh that hurts the kids yeah and same thing like you said same thing with the education i think that that’s changing as well and that was my next question how do you feel like you know the whole car how did you
Approach college and how did you leave college after you joined the join the fraternity did the process and everything like that how do you feel like your approach was when you first started first when you finished well i i did i already had my degrees when i when i
Played a job but so um it was it was different experience for me um than it would have been for what they call college brothers we have college brothers which ones are they go through pledging on water in college or undergrad undergrad right once you graduate from college you
Join an alumni chapter so i i i came to an alumni chapter so um but you know you know for me i i’ve always strived to be my best so i always try to be the top right um and whatever especially when it came to school so um so for me when i
Got to college that was that was it like i wanted to be the best even when i’m doing jobs on work i want to do want to be the best i want to be the top so um that was that’s what drives me i i don’t think that happens nowadays i think you
Know people think that the easy way even if they can you know they don’t want to be pushed so they don’t want to do that extra uh go to the extra amount of extra stuff you know if they can you know do just bare minimum a lot of times and
I think i think that’s coming from the whole money situation i mean i know money is always tough in each generation that’s coming up but i feel like a lot of that has come from you know the government sickness that’s been you know plaguing the america the
The hood you know the quote-unquote hood that everybody’s living in is you know taking over the kids and oh you know their kids are getting access to drugs younger they’re active with each other younger ages i think a lot of things have to be taken into consideration to see the difference
Between this generation the last generation and even the following generation that’s coming behind us because i’ve talked to a couple different people and they’re you know they’re having trouble teaching their kids because they don’t really know how to teach their kids properly or they’re not like you said they’re trying to be a
Friend before a mother or a father or whatever that that child needs so i think that we definitely need to fix on that but um i mean you know talking to the the other alpha brothers that you have what would you say has been you know the biggest difference
Between pledging while you’re in college versus pledging after college and what advice could you give somebody when they’re deciding if they want to do it you where you cross at like when you play jack um that’s a big debate um because you have engineers like a big thing engineering students so their
Course goal is so heavy a lot of them can’t not can’t but a lot of them choose not to play to after they finish their degree right so they can focus on the degree because there will be i mean because when you decide you want to join um
A fraternity or even female when joining sorority it’s going to take away from it right right so i’ll go with alpha you have to have a certain gpa knowing that your gpa will will drop while you’re doing it because you’re you’re trying to focus and balance between learning what you need to learn
Um about the organization um and learning what was required um to join the organization so and you got schoolwork um so when i i would have did undergrad but they didn’t alphas weren’t on my campus so um that’s why i waited but i would have
Did it but but then again i i started well out of high school i went to the college for one semester then i went to the military but when i went back to college i was 22 years old so um you know i wasn’t wasn’t 18 19 years
Old but actually you know so and then going through the military process so going through the military process got basic training that’s sort of like in the sense that sort of the acclimation right so you gotta humble yourself you gotta learn the process of what it means
To be in the air force for me that’s what b string is about pledge is the same thing what does it take to become you know an alpha what is it you know learning the history like even when i was in the air force we hadn’t learned
The history of the air force same thing with running the heavy history of alpha fraternity incorporated you have to learn the history how do you join an organization you don’t know what it’s about you can’t really so so you just you know you should know what you’re
Joining and why you’re joining it so that’s the same thing that’s what drives you through the process so you don’t get discouraged you’re not okay i mean because it can be i mean it’s tough it’s not and it’s meant to be tough because you don’t want anybody to join your
Organization most definitely yeah but but but that brings up my next topic as far as how do you really do your pre-research and how do you decide which fraternity to become a part of because a lot of movies right now they’re talking about even movies documentaries and all the tv shows too
They’re touching on the whole hazing thing that’s going on that hazing has become a problem with these movies kind of intimidating people to join these fraternities how do you know if it’s worth it if that’s even you know something some fraternities do some chapters do i know it’s different for
Everybody but how do you prepare yourself to know it’s worth it if that’s if i’m gonna go through this it’s gonna be with this fraternity or how do you do your research prior to it i know most black letter greek word organizations have an anti-hazing statement right so we’re all against anti-hazing so
No the process is you know you go through the process you should not be hazed at all it’s not tolerated because the problem is insurance companies right they got to be these fraternities these sororities they have to have an insurance company the cover because just right so then
If you have too many too many incidents incidences then uh yeah then um they won’t assure you so the problem is if you keep doing dumb stuff you keep breaking the anti-hazing rules then no one’s gonna want to insure you right so you have to have anti-hazing
State the scenario you have to like for us we go through a process we have to learn about it um and they tell us we hazing is not tolerated do you if you haze um you can go to jail so that’s that’s that’s i didn’t know it was that i
Thought it was more so you lose your scholarship or whatever you had you can go to jail so there’s been there’s been um individuals that has been associated organization and they’ve gone to jail for it um you are assaulting in a person so um you consult somebody you go to jail
Um they can press charges against you something it has an instance where people have died you can get murder charges against you so um yeah i don’t don’t believe in that um i i wouldn’t i was honey but if you trying to generalization you’re being hazed you probably
Wouldn’t want to join organization right you want to elevate it right um and i tell people when i talk to them you enter as a man you should exit as a man so you don’t allow no one you humble yourself right but you don’t know nobody
Take your manner from you so i’m not going to go to the organization somebody just beat me beating me sentencing yeah right yeah so i know that that burning sands movie that definitely brought a lot of people and we watched that together the bernie sands i know that
Raised a lot of people’s awareness to it and that was a very good story reply if you haven’t watched that go watch that now but another topic i want to talk about is um what what is the relation between the the brotherhood of the fraternity or the the organization and
Then the sisterhood so how how do those go handle well i will say this um they’re they’re two separate organizations right so you know um the alphas are the alphas and akas are sorority right right a lot of times people trying to link them together because the alphas were the first black
Greek letter organization and the akas was the first black greek letter um sorority right right then you have everybody else after that um so they kind of couple them together that way but um they’re not there’s no true there’s no true um bondage between them except between the sigmas and the zetas
Because the signals were there and they actually helped to start um the the zetas so they now they’re they are brothers and sisters right because the sick ones went and started the uh the sorority right so they went there so they are they are connected okay all of those are not okay
That that and that was a little bit confusing for me does every fraternity have a sisterhood i guess or a sister or uh no as far as everything goes um what advice could you give somebody that’s considering to go into a fraternity when they reach the college level and those
Kids out there right now that are maybe even in the in the current situation right now going through a hard time what advice could you give them in their decision making to join a fraternity or even females that might be considering joining the sorority any i would tell any young man they
Should join the alpha phi fraternity incorporated i’m not endorsing anything else um but when you it’s about personal choice uh and it matters where you are right so the chapters um of the fraternity of sorority where you are um you want to make sure that you you
Have a connection with them like you you can understand because you’re joining joining the overall um organization but you join that chapter so if you join the chapter people you just get you know why you don’t get along with that doesn’t make sense right so um it’s about that um networking is key
Um in the value so all all the fraternities and storing have different values what they value the most what they stand for so i think that’s what you should do your research find out um what the organization stands for what their aims what their values are um
What what they what they can bring what can you bring to the organization as well so you know some people you once get the letters and just they’re not they’re not active no more um which is yeah which is a whole new topic but it just doesn’t doesn’t make sense to me
But um yeah you want to make sure you join for the right reason remember why you join and never forget it right you know you never forget from the time you start the process until you join or make a chapter you should remember why you joined
Um and keep that at the heart and know that you know when you join the organization you’re not going to like everybody right so um i’m not like all alphas this is going to be my last question i just wanted to know also what what is the process if you let’s
Say you start joining one fraternity they deny you can you go and pledge for another attorney as long as you don’t go through the process and become a member of an organization okay that’s fine right but when you do you can’t go through the process become an alpha and
Then just like now i’m gonna be off i want to become a queue right like first of all they’re gonna find out and when they found out you know it’s just the same thing to my opinion so it’s like you don’t want to you don’t want to join organizations and then just
Like i don’t that’s where the whole research comes into play and knowing what you’re joining and they will find out so you best believe they’ll find out they find out about perps people that be perpetrating and be like oh yeah i pledged would you pledge that then usually they say they play somewhere
Um and if a brother figure like ah that don’t seem right they’re gonna reach out to somebody that chapter at that time and they’ll find out so i tell people out there don’t lie once it comes out and you look foolish and you look dumb
And then put you on blast so um thank you so much for watching this video thanks for tuning in for this suave talk if you have any opinions or if you want to rep your fraternity wrap your sorority make sure to comment below and let us know what is on your mind right
Now thank you so much make sure you leave a like comment and subscribe it’s your boy suave and have a good day So special
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