The World’s Most Aggressive Telemarketer – Key & Peele

[phone ringing] Hello, this is Gavin. (Colin) Hi, Gavin, my name is Colin Valenti. I’m calling from Master Travel Incorporated to tell you about an exciting limited-time offer, exclusive Las Vegas getaway. Can I have a few moments of your time to tell you about this new package? You know what, I would love to,

But I just don’t have the time. [phone beeps] Hello? Hello? [disconnect tone] Hm. [touch tones beeping] [line trilling] [phone ringing] (Colin) This is Colin Valenti, Master Travel Incorporated. How may I be of service? Hi, Colin Valenti. My name is Gavin. I think we just talked. Did we get disconnected?

(Colin) Yeah, no–I mean, yeah, I hung up on you. Why would you do that? I mean, are you even– Are you even allowed to do that? (Colin) Were you going to buy the Las Vegas package? Well, I mean, probably not, but that’s not the point. (Gavin) The point is– [phone beeps]

What the hell? [touch tones beeping] [line trilling] (Colin) This is Colin– Yeah, Valenti. Listen. (Gavin) I don’t know what crawled up your ass and set up shop there, but you don’t get to hang up– [phone beeps] [gasps] What? Oh, my g– [line trilling] [phone ringing] (Colin) What the [bleep] do you want?

What is your deal, huh? (Colin) Um, you don’t want the Vegas package, so I don’t want to talk. I did us a favor, wasting our time here. (Gavin) Stop, stop, don’t you dare hang up that [bleep] phone, okay? (Colin) Why shouldn’t I? Why shou– What if I wanted the Vegas package?

Wha–you know what? I want the Vegas package. (Colin) Sure you do. [phone beeps] What? You mother[bleep]! Oh, my God! You son of a bitch. [line trilling] (Colin) Come on, man, let it go. [bleep] you, man! [bleep] you! I want five [bleep] packages! Right now–you know what? (Gavin) You know what? Where’s my wallet?

This is my credit card number, right here. Okay, listen. Get [bleep] off me. My credit card number is 0074-5403-0098. The expiration date is 12-20! And then–and then the– oh, yeah! The security number is 084! So run the damn card right now! Right [bleep] now! You run it right [bleep] now, asshole! [suspenseful music]

(Colin) Thank you for your business. Well, I hope you learned your le– [phone beeps] [gasps] [screaming] These new call scripts are really great. Yeah, I know, right? [phone rings] What the [bleep] do you want, Kathy?

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