What Actually ARE the Illuminati?

Bill Gates. Beyonce. Oprah. The Infographics Show. For years rumors have swirled that powerful organizations and celebrities have all been part of a global movement to control humanity and shape the way it thinks. In most cases, this movement takes the form of the infamous Illuminati- a group allegedly

Dedicated to absolute control over all mankind. But who actually are the Illuminati, what do they really want? And how do you know this video itself is not just more Illuminati propaganda meant to throw you off the scent from the truth? The name Illuminati actually comes from the Latin plural, illuminatus, or ‘enlightened’.

The name is inspired by the idea of enlightening oneself through knowledge, and would evolve to signify the breaking of man’s bonds of ignorance through education and reason. But it all started with one man, who really, really hated his bosses.

Adam Weishaupt was born in 1748, and in 1773 he gained employment at the University of Ingolstadt as a professor of Canon Law- basically the laws which governed canons both on a battlefield and those on ships. Ok fine, actually Canon Law is the guidelines and regulations which are established by a

Religious authority for the purpose of running the government of a religious organization. In essence, Weishaupt was an expert on church law, but was himself not actually a member of the clergy. This would be a bit of a problem in a university which was mostly run by clergy- and not just

Any clergy, but Jesuits. Jesuits were themselves established in the 16th century, with the approval of Pope Paul III. Their official mission was global evangelization, with a special focus in education and helping different sects of Christians to work together.

Jesuits were sort of the Seal Team Six of Christianity, and were told to expect to go anywhere in the world and suffer any adversity for the sake of helping the poor and uneducated. Jesuits however soon became a thorn in the side of the European powers, as they were

A little too good at their job. Jesuits established special settlements in many colonial territories, and refused to allow the populations under their care to be enslaved as local governments and businessmen wished to. With slave labor being critical to the economies of far-flung colonies, Jesuits very quickly

Got a bad rap for standing in the way of economic progress. It should be noted that Jesuits weren’t completely opposed to slavery- you have to remember that this was a time when slavery was a widespread and accepted practice… white Europeans themselves had been enslaved just several hundred years earlier.

Jesuits were however opposed to the brutal conditions slaves endured, seeing no need for slaves to be treated like animals. Nothing, not even religion, can stand in the way of economic progress, so in 1773 Pope Clement XIV ordered the dissolution of the Jesuit order.

However in many places the Jesuits remained in power, such as the University of Ingolstadt, where Adam Weishaupt found himself teaching. Under attack from all sides, the Jesuits in control of the university attempted to suppress any staff that wasn’t part of the clergy, including Weishaupt himself.

Frustrated by what he believed were outdated views, Weishaupt turned to Freemasonry, but by this point the Freemason order had become a day club for rich kids who wanted to play at philosophy- as opposed to today where it’s a day club for bored middle aged men who want to play at philosophy.

Unsatisfied, Weishaupt decided he’d make his own, even cooler club, and only his very best friends- or those he thought worthy- could join. At first six to nine of Weishaupt’s best buds joined his secret new club, which Weishaupt created in order to spread the ideas of the enlightenment.

Despite what your edgelord Facebook bestie may rant about on his wall, the Illuminati wasn’t interested in “liberating man from religion”, but rather, wished to reform the way that religion was practiced and imposed. Weishaupt believed that science and religion should be partners, not competitors, in defining

The world, and that people should have a free choice when it came to either. The first illuminati had three membership tiers: novice, minerval, and illuminated minerval- with minerval referring to the Roman goddess of wisdom, Minerva. Their goal was to create a “state of liberty and moral equality”, the only problem was

That the powers that be had little interest in such a radical agenda for its time. If commoners were free after all, well, then how could they possibly be exploited for personal gain? This is an idea free market capitalists struggle with to this day.

Heavily influenced by Freemasonry, or really just blatantly ripping it off, Weishaupt created a series of elaborate rituals to be practiced at Illuminati meetings. Members were given secret names taken out of their favorite parts of antiquity- Weishaupt himself for example took the name of Spartacus, no doubt because he saw himself as leading

A rebellion of mental slaves fighting for their freedom. As the membership roster grew from nine individuals to 2,500 though it was clear more ranks were needed, and Weishaupt created 13 degrees of initiations split up into three classes. The first few orders of initiates were known as illuminatus minor, then came the illuminatus

Dirigens, and lastly, the top tier of Illuminati were simply known as the kings. We’re not saying that Weishaupt lost the plot somewhere along the way, but a man who set out to enlighten people and free them from oppressive government and ideology both, ended up making a secret society where he was king.

And that really speaks to the futility of man. So what did the Illuminati actually do? Well, they attempted to spread the ideas of enlightenment and reform throughout the upper crust of European society, but were never in fact in any way close to political power of their own.

The high point of this secret society would come in 1777, when Charles Theodore took the throne of Bavaria and used the opportunity to spread the same liberal values the Illuminati themselves were espousing. However, Charles Theodore would prove to be a weak monarch, and soon the ruling elites

Pressured him to back off the liberalization of Bavaria. This would eventually lead to a direct crackdown on the Illuminati itself, with their liberal agenda deemed a danger to the security and safety of the state. The Illuminati basically killed itself, as its members boasted publicly of the power

They wielded- though they wielded little said power-, and openly criticized the monarchy, something that only America could afford to do because it was exactly thousands of miles away from the nearest monarch. Membership lists of Illuminati members began to be leaked to the public, and the discovery

Of many Illuminati in positions of moderate power led to a general panic over secret societies amongst the ruling elite. Charles Theodore banned any and all secret societies, causing Weishaupt to flee for his life. Today the Illuminati are blamed for everything from war, to poverty in third world nations,

To Harambe, and yet the historical fact is that the Illuminati was never more than a moderately successful boy’s club that managed to wield a small amount of power in Bavaria before it was disbanded. Conspiracy theories nevertheless abound concerning a modern Illuminati, probably because it’s

More comfortable for people to believe that even when insane, really stupid stuff is being done by our governments it’s because someone is secretly pulling the strings to a master plan- instead of the simple truth that sometimes we put idiots in charge.

But then again that’s exactly what we would say if we were secretly part of the Illuminati. Now go watch super secret societies that pull strings without you knowing. Or watch this other video instead. Obey!

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