Letter to My Younger Self: Dylan Berg, North Dakota
Dear College-Aged Me,
College can make you feel like just another number, but don’t buy into that mindset. Take time to connect with professors and staff—they care more than you think. Build those relationships, and the campus will start to feel like home, much like the bond you’re forming with your chapter brothers. You’re also paying for this; it is your responsibility to extract the value out of it. Find those people who let you walk in, sit down, and talk about how the world is changing around you and then discuss it with you, with opposability in viewpoint. You’ll thank yourself later for investing in those connections.
I wish the Phi Delt I was a refounding member of had been an option for you as a freshman. Imagine having four years instead of just eighteen months of those connections. The beautiful thing is, you still have life-long friends from that blimp in time.
Oh, and that girl you took to prom in high school last minute because your original prom date broke her leg? She’s still your better half fifteen years later. Now, the two of you are tackling zone defense at home with three kiddos outnumbering you, surrounded by a great family in your hometown. She encouraged you to consider joining to help re-start Phi Delt as a junior for more campus leadership, but let’s be honest—you really joined just to be at Greek things where she and the Alpha Chi Omegas were and to have a few good times with some new buddies. Who would’ve thought that one decision would lead to a now decade-long career at Phi Delta Theta General Headquarters surrounded by some of the best humans you’ve ever known and countless transformative experiences?
I know you’re unsure right now. You’re wondering if the choices you’re making are the right ones and if you’re good enough to reach your goals or let alone finish an essay in time. Those doubts are normal, but let me tell you—you’re capable of so much more than you realize. The moments where you feel most uncertain are the ones that will shape you the most, so lean into them. You aren’t disappointed with a bud because it isn’t a flower yet; give yourself time to grow.
Each day, you’ll find what you’re looking for. If you look for negativity and pain, you’ll find it. But if you seek joy and happiness, that’s there, too. Pairing this mindset with the effort you’ve put into building strong systems for yourself, staying reliable, giving space for laughter, and working consistently toward your goals has created a foundation that supports the life you’re living today.
The world and its communities have always been marked by so much, and their volatility and complexity only seem to grow. For many, this brings chaos, uncertainty, and pain closer to home. Yet somehow, you’ve always had a gift for finding perspective and savoring small, joyful moments. Family members with lived experiences taught you to say things like, “The day might be tough, but you can walk. Be grateful for that, because not everyone can.” And your grandpa, when asked how he was doing, always replied, “Better than most,” as a reminder to appreciate what you’ve been given.
As a kid, those sayings often felt annoying—repeated wisdom that didn’t seem to matter. But by college, and even more so today, they mean something to you. Those simple truths have become a lens through which you see the world, and we’re both grateful for the wisdom they’ve carried into our lives.
Turn off your notifications—not everything demands your attention, and most of it doesn’t deserve it. Focus on what truly matters. This simple habit will save you endless stress and distraction.
Here’s another truth it took me years to learn: don’t give weight to criticism from people whose advice you’d never seek. The opinions of strangers or casual acquaintances aren’t worth the space they take up in your mind. Social media will try to convince you otherwise, but you don’t owe the world your deepest consideration. Instead, prioritize the relationships that matter—the ones with people who truly care about you. Don’t let yourself end days with three hours of screen time and only thirty minutes of meaningful connection with loved ones.
Not everyone in your life is meant to stay forever, and that’s okay. Relationships evolve, and part of growth is learning to navigate these transitions with grace. Some people will drift away, and others may struggle to keep up. Embrace these changes as opportunities to grow and to make room for new, meaningful connections. Letting go with grace honors the role they played in your journey while making space for what’s ahead.
Loss, pain, and heartbreak—those moments you wish you could skip—are proof that you’ve also experienced love, joy, and friendship. Don’t lose sight of that. The ache you feel when something ends is just a reminder of how much it mattered. And as painful as it is, it’s always worth it for the stories.
The decisions you’re making now, even the small ones, are laying the foundation for the life you’re living at thirty-two. Keep going—you’re doing better than you realize. Today, the best of your life is in front of you—one filled with witty comments from growing kids, getting to show up each day as a dad, and showing them how great, even amongst all the volatility in the world today, life really is. You’ve really got it better than most, bud.
Keep living your life with intention, perspective, and purpose. How you show up today isn’t just about you—it’s shaping the legacy your kids will carry forward. The values, love, and effort you pour into them now are generational. They’ll build their lives on the foundation you’re laying, so make it strong, joyful, and worth passing on.
Oh, and one last thing—you lived next to the damn wellness center for a year and a half. Build exercise into your daily systems. Here we are a decade later, and I’m just now getting to it; trust me, don’t wait—your future self will thank you for starting now.
With love and gratitude,
Your 32-Year-Old Self
About Dylan
Dylan Berg, North Dakota ’15, has been on staff with Phi Delta Theta General Headquarters since 2015. He currently serves as the vice president of engagement and analytics. Dylan’s primary responsibility is to gauge and enhance the impact of all communication tactics, the use of cutting-edge technology, and programming in order to expand engagement opportunities and affinity to Phi Delta Theta. Dylan additionally monitors the overall effectiveness of Phi Delta Theta’s strategic initiatives in Phi Delt 2030, ensuring we remain at the forefront of innovation in the fraternity landscape.
Dylan completed his undergraduate studies at the University of North Dakota in Entrepreneurship and Management, is a graduate of Section School’s AI Mini-MBA and IDEO U with a certificate in Collaborative Leadership, is a Certified Salesforce Administrator, Braze Practitioner, and a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt.
Dylan lives in Park River, North Dakota with his Alpha Chi Omega wife Josie and their three children Maren, Ivy, and Byron. Locally, Dylan is involved in efforts to bring new community and athletic facilities to the area and is an active member of the local volunteer fire and rescue department. In his free time, he enjoys spending time with family, gardening, traveling, and college hockey.
