No one in my family has been a member聽 of a greek-lettered organization before聽聽 so i knew like this was something i wanted聽 to wear on my back with pride little did i聽聽 know the fruits of this lifestyle started to聽 manifest quickly my drinking increased a lot聽聽
My smoking increased a lot fornication increased a聽 lot and i guess being on a college campus too that聽聽 environment is just it’s heavy in that lifestyle聽 so every time we would be like oh where’s the聽聽 next function where’s the next party we’re going聽 to this bar we’re going we’re going to hang with聽聽
These guys and it’s like for this to be christian聽 based we’re doing a lot of non-christian things聽聽 my mom and dad took us to church um again i’m聽 nigerian so religion is a big thing in our um聽聽
Culture but none of us were actually saved so聽 there wasn’t really the guiding light of christ聽聽 in our household and how to behave in things i聽 wasn’t super rebellious i wasn’t um like a big聽聽 troublemaker but yeah i just kind of lived like聽 a lukewarm life so then things got crazy when i聽聽
Got to college college i started making different聽 kinds of friends they started introducing me to聽聽 smoking partying and liquor and all that stuff聽 and like fornication and things like that even聽聽 with all that going on i still would try to live聽 righteous and go to church and just be good but i聽聽
Still didn’t care truly about jesus and in my聽 college experience i went to two universities聽聽 i started off for two years at one school and i聽 ended up two years at another school in baltimore聽聽 city and once i transferred to that school that’s聽 when things really got intense and that’s where聽聽
The sorority life came in and just as聽 a educational piece fraternities and聽聽 sororities are usually like college campus聽 organizations where people join them for聽聽 various reasons organizations they have聽 missions and visions and activities聽聽 and things of that nature coming into this聽 college campus i didn’t really have friends聽聽
Because i transferred my sophomore i聽 transferred my junior year so i started off聽聽 junior year at this university everyone’s聽 already in their friend groups they have their聽聽 clicks their clubs and everything and i was just聽 a loner i picked up a job so i would go to class聽聽
Go to work and then come home and then i think one聽 day i was sitting in my apartment like i’m about聽聽 to finish college in a year i need to do something聽 impactful i need to become i need to be a part of聽聽
Something impactful i can’t keep doing this the聽 rest of my college life so honestly it may have聽聽 just been like the pride in me that was looking to聽 do something that i knew would bring me attention聽聽
I knew would put my name out there i knew would聽 get my face out there the first thought that聽聽 crossed my mind was um sga which is the student聽 government association and at the school i went to聽聽
If you were on sga that was it was not like a big聽 deal like you were part of homecoming planning聽聽 committee you were part of the groups that planned聽 the campus parties and stuff like that so i joined聽聽
Sga but i felt like it still wasn’t enough and聽 i was like i need another thing to really boost聽聽 my collegiate career so i had a friend who i went聽 to middle school with and she told me about this聽聽
Sorority that um was having i think she called it聽 like an interest meeting she was like yeah they’re聽聽 having an interest meeting and i’m gonna do it and聽 i think you should like join too and i was like聽聽
Sure like i guess this is what i was looking for聽 so i went with her and um we went to the meetings聽聽 we went through some of like the pre-preliminary聽 processing with like getting people’s numbers and聽聽 staying in contact with certain like big sisters聽 and that’s kind of how the process started with聽聽
Joining and entering into the sorority but聽 even outside of that i was still living聽聽 just doing what i wanted to do i had more freedom聽 so and my mom gave me a car so i would drive聽聽
To virginia i’d drive to dc i would just drive to聽 all these places for what to like party and to you聽聽 know just live a little reckless but it really got聽 intense once the sorority lies started to kick in聽聽
Now before you move on to uh talking a聽 little bit more about that sorority life聽聽 were you hearing god at all in this time as聽 you’re starting to explore more into the world聽聽 or was it just like your heart was completely聽 closed off no i wasn’t hearing god at all my heart聽聽
Was very closed off um i was a very carnal i was a聽 very worldly girl i was very into like trends and聽聽 things so i’ve always had this um this compass聽 inside of me like this moral compass that would聽聽
Say that’s good that’s bad like don’t do this you聽 should probably do that or stay away from this聽聽 but not necessarily the voice of the lord聽 where it was like discerning good and evil so聽聽 a lot of what i did was just my own version聽 of righteousness not necessarily the voice of聽聽
God yeah so talk to us about uh uh lead us into聽 that sorority life and and and what you begin to聽聽 experience in that life yeah so um upon entering聽 and this was in fall 2016 the fall yeah it was聽聽
It started the process started over the summer聽 but once school started i started to hit the聽聽 ground running with that process it was really聽 a lot of it was very secretive it was a lot of聽聽 hush hush and you’re not allowed to say this聽 people aren’t allowed to see you past this time聽聽
You have to be at this location you have to wear聽 these clothes you have to do this with all of your聽聽 there were pledges at the time but now they聽 were like oh you’re sisters it was a really聽聽
Dark process but i knew that the lord wasn’t聽 in it because my drive to complete the process聽聽 regardless of what was done to me and what i聽 experienced my drive was notoriety my drive was聽聽 not necessarily fame but you know that inner聽 elitism i guess is the word to be known and聽聽
To have the paraphernalia which is like the聽 clothing that has the letters and the colors on it聽聽 so um the process itself was it was just聽 dark and i knew god wasn’t in it because聽聽
A lot of it was very ritualistic a lot of what聽 i found myself doing and what they had us do聽聽 was symbolic of occultic practices and idol聽 worship and just to shed light on just one example聽聽
There was this one night where um my sister my聽 former sisters and i we were in this room and聽聽 we were kind of in a circle and in this circle we聽 had candles and there was like golden bowls like聽聽
Doggy bowls by the way like in front聽 of all of our faces and we were saying聽聽 we’re repeating a lot of like chants and um聽 it was just a lot of chanting and repeating聽聽 this and saying that again and one of my old聽 line sisters at the time she jokingly said聽聽
Oh my god this feels like a seance and in my head聽 i was like yeah this feels like we’re summoning聽聽 like summoning some spirits or whatever but聽 being again veiled ignorant not saved none of us聽聽 really cared because we just wanted to complete聽 the process to be in the organization so badly so聽聽
You know we shook that off but that was a common聽 thing that would happen you know we would do聽聽 certain rituals and practices and kneeling and i’m聽 like looking back i’m like wow how did i not see聽聽
This but at the time i was just driven by pride聽 and all the earthly gain that came from it so聽聽 after i finished the process and became a member聽 of the organization there’s something called a聽聽
Probate which is the campus ceremony of the people聽 coming out and what they mean by coming out is聽聽 because during the process you kind of go into聽 hiding like people don’t see you on campus for聽聽 a while you go straight to class you come home聽 you’re just encouraged to be hidden and then聽聽
During the probate which is like the revealing聽 that’s where you come out and during a probate聽聽 it’s like there’s flyers that go out people get聽 really excited and then what happens is the big聽聽 sisters of the organization are now revealing who聽 the new members or the little sisters or the neos聽聽
Are and the neo is a neophyte which is someone who聽 is newly like a baby member of the organization聽聽 and um during a probate basically they’re聽 revealing who the newest members are that聽聽 just joined this fall or this spring whatever the聽 semester was after my probate that’s when i was聽聽
Officially a member i wore i had the jacket i had聽 the line number i had like 13 or so line sisters聽聽 and at the time it was very celebratory it was聽 um like oh wow congratulations and people were so聽聽
Happy for me and i felt it like i was like yeah i聽 just accomplished something i did something great聽聽 no one in my family has been a member of a greek聽 letter organization before so i knew like this was聽聽
Something i wanted to wear on my back with pride聽 little did i know the fruits of this lifestyle聽聽 started to manifest quickly my drinking increased聽 a lot my smoking increased a lot fornication聽聽 increased a lot and i guess being on a college聽 campus too that environment is just it’s heavy in聽聽
That lifestyle so every time we would be like oh聽 where’s the next function where’s the next party聽聽 we’re going to this bar we’re going we’re going to聽 hang with these guys and it’s like for this to be聽聽
Christian based we’re doing a lot of non-christian聽 things and when i say christian based i mean the聽聽 organization that i joined is considered a聽 d9 organization d9 stands for divine nine聽聽 meaning that in in another historical piece so the聽 nation’s history with sororities and fraternities聽聽
It dates back a long way but a lot of them聽 were exclusive of um african americans so聽聽 then along the 1900s there were nine different聽 sororities that sororities and fraternities聽聽 that kind of came together for this purpose of聽 including african americans and they became the聽聽
Divine nine so the organization i joined was聽 considered a d9 organization so the lifestyle聽聽 that came with this organization it it just wasn’t聽 of god and i thought it was ironic because a lot聽聽 of the d9 organizations they would they would聽 call themselves christian based a lot of them聽聽
Would say oh all of our organizations are founded聽 on christian principles and that’s what i used to聽聽 soothe myself with when saying yes this is of god聽 this is okay because the practice books and the聽聽 rituals and things they would always talk about聽 god and they would mention something about an聽聽
Eternal spirit but me being ignorant i’m like聽 okay yeah sure so jesus has to be in this so聽聽 but to kind of fast forward the fruits of the聽 organization and the lifestyle that came from it聽聽 there’s no way that eternal聽 spirit was the holy spirit so聽聽
That’s kind of the life that i lived after聽 joining yeah now you went through a process聽聽 uh where one the lord began to draw you in god聽 began to draw you in and begin to reveal to you聽聽
What was happening in these organizations yeah聽 but there was also a fighting that you had to do聽聽 in yourself because you were so involved with聽 this life and you believed that this was okay聽聽 can you just take us to that process of god聽 encountering you and really just beginning to聽聽
Lead you into into the light essentially yeah so聽 my encounter actually happened once i graduated聽聽 college and moved back home it was an encounter聽 where god showed started to show me things but聽聽 it was also the ultimate encounter that also led聽 to my salvation so it’s kind of a backtrack i聽聽
Graduated college in spring of 2017 and聽 then the first time i felt a conviction聽聽 was around december of that same year i remember聽 it was a saturday night and i was at one of my聽聽
Old pro fights house and there was a sleepover聽 oh and sorry a pro fight is like one of the big聽聽 sisters that bring you into the organization i聽 was at her house with some of my line sisters at聽聽
The time and we were having a sleepover and it was聽 very ratchet like we were drinking again smoking聽聽 eating just being ridiculous so then that聽 sunday i come to church and it’s the same聽聽 childhood church i’ve grown up in same pastor聽 i’ve had never was convicted with anything before聽聽
But this time he says in the midst of his聽 preaching he was talking about how there’s people聽聽 who don’t know god he was like and you know some聽 of you guys in here you think you know god and聽聽
I don’t know why but that made my heart i was聽 like oh my god i think i’m one of those people聽聽 who don’t know god and if i did know god instantly聽 i started thinking about what i did last night at聽聽
The sleepover so i made the decision in my mind聽 like okay god i’m gonna be intentional to know you聽聽 and i did it to the best of my ability still聽 not having the holy spirit to help me i was like聽聽
Okay i think getting to know god is like聽 going to church on time so i started going to聽聽 church on time i was like okay it made me feel聽 better but i’m like i don’t know if that’s it聽聽
So between the month of december 20 2017 to about聽 april 2018 i was doing a lot of earthly works of聽聽 trying to be good and trying to make sure i knew聽 god um i started watching more youtube sermons聽聽
I started trying to read my bible a bit yeah i聽 started listening to more gospel music i just聽聽 tried to do good i tried to be righteous on my聽 own strength so that kind of what now let up i聽聽
Guess god saw me being serious and then he was聽 ready for what i call the big bang encounter聽聽 and this big bang encounter was in may and in聽 may i remember um it was the lord so i have a聽聽
Friend she’s a friend now um at my the first聽 school i went to she was my ra at the time which聽聽 is a i think a resident assistant because i lived聽 in the college dorm and she was basically the one聽聽
Who made sure you know we kept the bathrooms clean聽 we took out the trash and things so when i left my聽聽 former university i hadn’t talked to her since so聽 then i see her on instagram this one random day聽聽
In may and she’s posting a flyer about how she’s聽 gonna do an instagram live on how god took her聽聽 out of a sorority and how god set her free from聽 bondage and all of this stuff now i remember her聽聽
Probate as well i remember when she crossed into聽 the organization and i was like happy for her i聽聽 was excited i knew it and i just loved it so then聽 when i saw this flyer i was so confused i’m like聽聽
God delivered you you were in bondage i’m like聽 but i’m in a sorority does i mean i’m in bondage聽聽 but i knew something i knew god was moving聽 because the flyer made me very uncomfortable聽聽 it made me i didn’t know what i was feeling聽 at the time was called it was a conviction聽聽
But my heart just kept like i felt nervous i was聽 like whoa and i would just scroll past the flyer聽聽 and like you know everything would go back to聽 normal but she shared this post on instagram聽聽
For over a week and the fly was very um it was聽 very interesting to me because on the flyer聽聽 it had a picture of a man’s arms like this as if聽 it was chained and there was ropes around his arms聽聽
And in the flyer like the ropes were releasing聽 his arm and that image too was it kept jumping out聽聽 to me and i’m like there’s no way i’m in bondage聽 though like this flyer is really bothering me so聽聽
Every day i mean it was literally monday聽 to saturday i kept seeing the flyer and it聽聽 it started making me angry because i’m like leave聽 me alone but still i was like you know whatever聽聽 i’m not gonna watch that instagram live because聽 maybe she just had a really bad experience so on聽聽
Saturday she now drops the date and time she’s聽 like i’m gonna go live on sunday at 7 00 pm聽聽 and i’m gonna share my story so i was like okay聽 she’s gonna go live at seven i’m gonna go to sleep聽聽
And take a nap at seven so i’m not tempted to聽 watch this so i did that and i wake up around like聽聽 i woke up around like 9 00 10 p.m and i remember聽 just being relieved because i don’t think聽聽
Instagram had the save your live feature at that聽 time so i knew it was going to be deleted and gone聽聽 but then i wake up and apparently they made the聽 update while i was sleeping and like oh you can聽聽
Now save your instagram live i was like no way i聽 get on instagram and her life is the first thing聽聽 that i see and i’m like feeling just that pressure聽 again but even greater and i think it was the聽聽
First time i heard the voice of god but something聽 i kept calling it the voice because i didn’t know聽聽 it was god at the time kept telling me to watch聽 her video and i was like no i don’t want to watch聽聽
This video and then i felt something again tell聽 me to watch it and i’m like who am i talking to聽聽 i didn’t know who i was talking to i was just like聽 no i don’t want to watch it please i don’t want to聽聽
Watch it so then eventually after wrestling i’m聽 like okay fine i’ll watch it and i go click the聽聽 video to watch it but like it kept freezing so i聽 told the voice i said hey i tried to watch it and聽聽
It’s freezing so i’m gonna go back to sleep now聽 i did the obedient thing and then i went back to聽聽 sleep and then around like three a.m around three聽 a.m i felt a hand like squeeze my heart and i聽聽
Jumped out of my bed and i thought i lied to you聽 now i thought i was either having a heart attack聽聽 or i thought i was dying or something i just聽 remember like laying in my bed going like this聽聽
Trying to check for a pulse and i’m like my聽 heart was at this point beating out of my chest聽聽 and the only thing i kept hearing as i was awake聽 was go watch her video go watch her video and at聽聽
This point i’m talking back i’m physically talking聽 back i’m like no no i’m not gonna watch the video聽聽 no you’re not gonna make me do it so i’m tossing聽 and turning and i forced myself to go back to聽聽
Sleep thinking that i could sleep this thing away聽 part of me still thinking i’m crazy part of me not聽聽 sure if this is god or some thing up there in聽 the atmosphere but whatever it was i told it no聽聽
And i eventually forced myself back to sleep and聽 then this was all on a sunday night breaking into聽聽 monday morning so then that monday morning i wake聽 up and i thought everything was gonna be peaceful聽聽
I wake up and what felt like a hand at first on聽 my chest turned into an entire presence sitting聽聽 on my bed and at this point it’s like i couldn’t聽 see anything with my physical eyes but i’m like聽聽
Someone is sitting here on this bed and聽 the only thing this person kept saying was聽聽 so are you gonna watch her video are you gonna go聽 watch her i’m like what is in this video that’s so聽聽
That you whatever whoever you are you want me to聽 watch this video so bad and i i just remember um聽聽 my heart just kept feeling heavy and was pounding聽 so hard and i’m like okay if watching this video聽聽
Will make you like leave me alone and let my聽 body go back to normal i will watch this video聽聽 so i watch the video and lo and behold she’s聽 just telling everything about her testimony聽聽
About how she joined a sorority and how it was in聽 ignorance she realized it was not of the lord how聽聽 god had opened her eyes to the truth and a lot of聽 the spiritual things behind like the oaths and the聽聽
Covenants and the history i remember in the end of聽 the video she says if any of you watching this are聽聽 in the sorority or fraternity and you you say you聽 love god but you are just ignorant she says the聽聽
Lord is going to forgive you if you just repent聽 and walk away and right when she’s about to go聽聽 into the prayer i remember i cut off the video and聽 i cut off the video and i just i sat in my room in聽聽
Silence for a long time and then the voice spoke聽 again and it was like so what are you gonna do聽聽 i was like what am i gonna do you just put all聽 this information in my face i’m in a sorority聽聽
Right now you’re just you basically just聽 told me this thing i’m doing is not from you聽聽 what am i supposed to do i knew in my head i had聽 to leave but it was just a lot going on this is聽聽
My first real encounter with god and god and it聽 wasn’t those like sweet testimonies or people like聽聽 you know jesus like swept in and took me off聽 my feet it was like jesus confronted me about聽聽
This membership thing that i’m in and i thought i聽 knew jesus all along but i didn’t so um the whole聽聽 day i was like my hand was like this my whole聽 body was trembling because i’m like i just never聽聽
Felt god this close this real before so um聽 immediately i texted two of my close um former聽聽 line sisters at the time and i said to them i said聽 hey guys what do you think what would you say if i聽聽
Told you that um i was renouncing the organization聽 and educational piece to renounce the org means to聽聽 declare that you are no longer a member and聽 to not have anything to do with them anymore聽聽
So i remember when i texted them in the group聽 chat i said to the lord i said all right god聽聽 this is when i started to think like i think this聽 is probably god now so um i said god depending聽聽
On their response if they’re if they’re fine聽 with it i’ll take it as a sign from you that聽聽 this is you and that i will leave but if they’re聽 like what no way this is not god like what are you聽聽
Doing i said that i’m just gonna brush this off as聽 best as i can i’m gonna stay and surprisingly the聽聽 first one who responded she was like valerie聽 i know you’ve been on this journey with god聽聽
I know you’ve been trying to walk with the lord i聽 completely understand if you want to leave um like聽聽 i just hope that we can stay good friends i was聽 like wow okay cool the other one she responded she聽聽
Didn’t want me to leave like me and her we were聽 good friends too but um she too was understanding聽聽 so i took that as a sign from god like all聽 right lord i guess this is what we should do聽聽
The rest of that monday mind you this is all still聽 happening on one day this is now monday morning um聽聽 the rest of that day i was just racking my brain聽 on like still trying to fathom and understand and聽聽
Comprehend what’s happening i’m like am i really聽 leaving this organization i spent a lot of money聽聽 i spent a lot of time i spent a lot of sacrifices聽 to be in this thing and one night of an encounter聽聽
I was just ready to walk away but i’m like i聽 need to god you have to make this make sense聽聽 to me so i spent the day just seeking counsel i聽 wasn’t really well versed in scriptures i didn’t聽聽
Really have spiritual leaders like that in my聽 life to reach out to for help but this just needs聽聽 to make sense to me lord so i reached out to um聽 one of my pro fights who was also in it and she聽聽
Was also nigerian and she was also a christian聽 so i was like this is perfect because i knew if聽聽 anyone could help me make sense of this she would聽 understand but she was also in the organization so聽聽
Ironically i went to church to meet with her聽 she was on the choir at her church and when聽聽 i told her this thing i was like yeah girl this聽 is the encounter i had this is what the lord is聽聽
Showing me i think god is telling me i need to聽 leave because i have not had peace since that聽聽 encounter i had and i need i came to you to give聽 me counsel am i crazy am i out of my mind or like聽聽
What do you have to say to me and as she begins聽 to speak and give justification all of a sudden聽聽 it was like i couldn’t hear her anymore and we聽 were sitting side by side i remember i looked and聽聽
I’m like god why can’t i hear her and then like聽 the lord now starts speaking to my ear on this聽聽 side and he says don’t listen to her because聽 she’s been deceived too and i was just like聽聽
Lord i i think i was just so i was so i don’t聽 even know the words i just remember being so聽聽 shocked because i’m like god you followed me here聽 you know i came here to get some counsel from聽聽
This woman that helped me in the journey and you聽 followed me here you told me not to listen to her聽聽 so at that moment i knew all i had was god i was聽 like the lord is not allowing me to have peace聽聽
From anyone’s counsel that’s telling me to stay聽 people were like valerie are you sure you’re not聽聽 overthinking are you sure like this are you sure聽 that i’m like i only have peace in what this voice聽聽
Well now god is telling me to do so um and before聽 you move on from there uh this voice that you were聽聽 hearing was it an audible voice was it something聽 that was just in your in inside of you that you聽聽
Couldn’t explain how were you hearing this voice聽 so it was it was more so inside that i couldn’t聽聽 explain it was so sharp internally though that it聽 could have been audible but if it was audible i聽聽 definitely probably would like jumped out and聽 like gone crazy but it was just such a sharp聽聽
Voice on the inside that i knew it聽 couldn’t be me because i wanted to stay聽聽 but like the reasoning and justification and聽 the voice of the other was telling me just no聽聽 you cannot stay i’m calling you out i’m calling聽 you out and i’m like but why so i remember um聽聽
After i left meeting with um the girl at church聽 i came home and i ran into my sister my younger聽聽 sister and i was telling her i said girl you won’t聽 believe what just happened to me today and this聽聽
Is your actual sister yeah it is my actual my聽 blood sister so i’m telling her oh my god you聽聽 can’t you won’t believe what just happened so i’m聽 telling her what happened and she too she wasn’t聽聽
Saved at the time but i learned that you have to聽 be cautious of the counsel that you get because聽聽 not all counsel that makes sense is from god and聽 my sister said something to me she was like maybe聽聽
What you’re doing is just adopting the convictions聽 of someone else this probably isn’t even you聽聽 valerie you’re fine being in the organization you聽 were fine before you watched the video this is聽聽 just someone else’s conviction and for two seconds聽 i felt peace i was like you’re so right i was like聽聽
Oh my god i’m so happy i love my sister like thank聽 you so much but then it came back it was like no聽聽 i was like wait why did why didn’t why聽 where’s the piece where’d the piece go聽聽
And i knew god was saying that’s not it and that’s聽 not true so i remember um i went to my kitchen and聽聽 i’m just like pacing back and forth i’m like聽 you know what i’m not living like this anymore聽聽
I’m gonna put an end to this today i was聽 like you know what fine i was like i’ll leave聽聽 i’ll leave that’s okay i’ll go but then i started聽 thinking in my mind i’m like what will i lose if聽聽
I leave like okay god i spent all this money this聽 and that i’m basically trying to like outweigh the聽聽 the pros and the cons you know okay i’ll lose聽 friends i’ll lose this i’ll lose that okay but聽聽
What do i have to gain and i’m just going back and聽 forth with myself in the kitchen trying to think聽聽 and then the holy spirit interrupts my thought聽 and says what do you have to lose and i started聽聽
I stopped and i started thinking i’m like what do聽 i have to lose and it was like in that moment when聽聽 god asked me that question everything i thought聽 that was valuable in the organization and that聽聽
Came with that lifestyle became nothing to me i聽 was like wow i have nothing to lose so all all of聽聽 a sudden this joy came on me because i thought out聽 what i was about to do was such a heavy and hard聽聽
And difficult thing but when god asked me what do聽 i have to lose everything that seemed important聽聽 or that seemed to hold weight just be it was just聽 vapor you know just became nothing so it made it聽聽
So much more easier for me to renounce so i went聽 back to instagram and i went back to the live that聽聽 the girl did and i went to go watch the prayer of聽 renunciation she said at the end and i remember i聽聽
Went to the my mom’s basement to say i don’t know聽 why i went there actually but i just felt led to聽聽 go to my mom’s basement and i said the prayer and聽 odd enough when i finished the prayer i broke down聽聽
Crying and i was like why am i crying so much but聽 then it started to cry as if like someone had died聽聽 like you ever grieved over a loved one or聽 something it’s like i’m crying and i’m crying聽聽
And then what kept coming to my mind was like lord聽 i’m so sorry i remember i kept apologizing i kept聽聽 saying god i’m sorry i’m sorry and i didn’t really聽 know um what i was apologizing for at the time i聽聽
Just knew like something in me knew what i was a聽 part of was not pleasing to god and i just kept聽聽 saying lord i’m sorry i’m sorry so after maybe i聽 was down there for like an hour saying i’m sorry聽聽
Uncontrollably i got back on my feet and i felt聽 so light i felt so i felt free honestly i just聽聽 i don’t know what took place in the聽 moment of that prayer and that crying and聽聽
Just the apologizing but i got up and i felt聽 free and then after that the rest of may聽聽 it might you again this all was in聽 one day this all happened on a monday聽聽 after um i finished crying i got it from my mom’s聽 basement and i just started planning how i was聽聽
Gonna tell the rest of my former line sisters and聽 just whoever else was involved that yeah i’m not聽聽 in this anymore the lord is calling me out this is聽 not where he wants me to be he’s not pleased with聽聽
Me in this so i’m just gonna leave that’s when the聽 lord started to open my eyes and dreams started聽聽 to happen and like at the time i was telling聽 people um when they would ask me they’re like聽聽
Valerie why are you leaving why are you leaving聽 i’m like i’m leaving because god is telling me to聽聽 i really don’t have the scriptural language聽 and the spiritual knowledge to explain all聽聽 of this even with what the girl shared with me um聽 through her video i didn’t have like the capacity聽聽
To understand the language and she thinks she was聽 using i just knew the conviction i knew the lord聽聽 was telling me leave but it was after you know i聽 surrendered and you know did what the lord wanted聽聽
Me to do that’s when um i guess he saw fit to聽 start teaching me and showing me like this is聽聽 what i was saving you from and this is what you聽 were part of so after i had renounced and told聽聽
My former line sisters and all parties involved聽 that i was leaving that’s when the the growth聽聽 and the revelation started to just pour in like聽 a flood so that’s kind of how that process went聽聽
Yeah talk to us a little bit about that of your聽 life after jesus right how did jesus come into聽聽 your life begin to impact your life it was rough聽 at first because i was also facing now backlash聽聽
From leaving people who were saying like oh聽 we’re sisters for life and we’ll be down forever聽聽 and blah blah blah because i made a decision to聽 forsake the old and go follow christ there was聽聽 like some people were calling my phone or like聽 texting my phone like cussing me out and stuff聽聽
And i’m like all i had was jesus now i’m looking聽 at him like jesus you you were the one that told聽聽 me to do this and now i’m you know experiencing聽 all this backlash i need you now more than ever to聽聽
Be your friend that sticks closer than a brother聽 because i didn’t have anyone most of the friends聽聽 that i had came through or the connections or聽 whatever i had came through my association with聽聽 the organization so in that moment jesus more so聽 introduced himself to me as first my deliverer but聽聽
Then also my friend because i didn’t have anyone聽 else to be my friend at that time i didn’t have聽聽 anyone else to really explain this to and talk聽 this through with so um that’s definitely how聽聽
Jesus kind of started off with me and then when聽 it now came into like the space of revelation聽聽 and just opening my eyes to things i started to聽 dream a lot more and a lot of my dreams were um聽聽
Basically guys showing me the spiritual aspect of聽 what i was doing and what was going on so i would聽聽 have dreams of myself pledging and things um there聽 would be moments not in the dream but in real life聽聽
When we were going through our pledge process聽 where we had to do this like armed gesture with聽聽 our arms like kind of locked up like this and i聽 remember i had god had gave me a dream after um聽聽
I had left where in this dream i see some girl聽 who looks like me but her skin had looked like聽聽 she’d been set on fire all of her look like聽 she had just been like burned in flames but聽聽
In the dream she’s going and holding her arms聽 like this and then on the other side there’s um聽聽 three women who look like prophytes who again聽 are the big sisters in the organization they聽聽 too their skin were like set up on fire and they聽 were burned and in this dream they were yelling聽聽
At the one whose arms were like this and it was聽 representative of um kind of what would happen聽聽 during our pledge process because in reality we聽 would you know have our arms like this and then聽聽
Some there will be nights where our pro fights or聽 big sisters or whatever would be yelling at us and聽聽 it would be chaos and craziness and confusion聽 all like in the dark so one thing god showed聽聽
Me through that dream was like this stuff that you聽 were doing it had spiritual implications it wasn’t聽聽 just um you know what for fun thing that you see聽 on tv this thing is real life in the spirit realm聽聽
So that was definitely one of the revelations that聽 god showed me that it kind of calmed me down and聽聽 made me not feel so crazy because i would think聽 about um just the different people who also claim聽聽
Christ that are in these organizations and how聽 they justify it and say it’s okay and i’m like聽聽 well lord then what is it about me so then when聽 god started to show me dreams and start leading me聽聽
In scripture i said okay it just was a test of how聽 much do i believe in the word of the lord versus聽聽 other people’s opinions and the opinions of man聽 so once that started to come in i felt more i felt聽聽
More closer to god honestly because it’s like he’s聽 sharing with me his heart he’s sharing with me his聽聽 mind and his opinion and when he would share these聽 things it made sense as to why i cried so hard聽聽
When i said the repentance prayer because when聽 the lord started showing me um scriptures in like聽聽 ezekiel and jeremiah about how israel dabbled in聽 idolatry and how they went to serve other gods and聽聽 one thing god highlighted to me was his response聽 you know he would tell israel you know i before聽聽
Like i formed you in your mother’s womb before聽 i knew you i did all these things for you i took聽聽 care of you i saw you laying about in blood and i聽 said live and just all these things where god did聽聽
For people who didn’t really care for him and went聽 to go serve other gods but he’s like all i wanted聽聽 was to be your only god so when i think about聽 um just life in this sorority that’s why i cried聽聽
Because i finally understood like god was saying聽 to me like valerie i wanted to be your only god i聽聽 didn’t want you to go find gods in organizations聽 and sororities and fraternities i am your all聽聽
In all so it was in those moments through the聽 revelation of what god would show me after that聽聽 i just felt more closer to him i felt more like聽 in his heart so yeah that’s kind of how that went聽聽
Yeah valerie as now you begin to walk with聽 jesus how did that affect your relationship聽聽 with your parents i know you said that uh聽 um you guys were go to church but it wasn’t聽聽 you kind of just knew of jesus but you didn’t聽 really know him so as they begin to see聽聽
Uh you know their daughter essentially walk in聽 this different way and and now you’re obviously聽聽 receiving all this revelation that may they may or聽 may not know how did that affect your relationship聽聽 with your parents and what did they think about聽 everything that was happening it helped with my聽聽
Relationship with my mom because having the heart聽 of christ helped me to see her as just another聽聽 human being who had you know her own issues and聽 things growing up sometimes i used to have this聽聽 like animosity towards her and towards my dad聽 just because of you know parenting things but聽聽
After you know coming to christ it made聽 me more patient with her i was more聽聽 understanding i tried my best to be loving聽 regardless of her flaws and shortcomings聽聽 and in that god was actually really great and he聽 started to mend our relationship more so my mom聽聽
Than with my dad my dad wasn’t really with us for聽 most of the time growing up but really with my mom聽聽 it’s like she would see the way i would behave she聽 would ask me where are you going and every time聽聽
She asked me i was either going to like church聽 or a bible study or a worship concert and she聽聽 i guess she didn’t really understand why all of聽 a sudden i was doing this but she wasn’t against聽聽
It she and i really think this was the lord聽 because um she allowed me to she rarely ever聽聽 questioned me when it came to these things even聽 when i would come home late from revival nights聽聽
And stuff she would ask me every now and then like聽 you’re not going to the club or you’re not going聽聽 to a party i’m like no man i’m not going to any聽 of that so even with coming home late she never聽聽
I honestly think it was just the lord聽 just breathing on our relationship because聽聽 it made it so much easier from as compared聽 to before christ like we used to fight a lot聽聽 we used to yell at each other and i was really聽 dishonorable towards her even though i said聽聽
Earlier i wasn’t a rebellious child which i wasn’t聽 for the most part but i didn’t honor my mom as i聽聽 should have and the way i do now so um coming聽 across really helped my relationship with her聽聽
My dad on the other hand because he wasn’t as聽 present growing up he didn’t really get to see聽聽 a lot of me in the flesh walking again with the聽 lord but more so virtually or digitally like聽聽 he we’re friends on facebook we’ll talk on聽 facebook or um we’ll talk on whatsapp and things聽聽
And i’ll send him scriptures to encourage him but聽 i know he noticed a change because before when聽聽 i would call him i would just always yell at him聽 for his shortcomings and you did this and you were聽聽
Never there and blah blah just all this stuff and聽 now it’s like now having the heart of god for him聽聽 it’s like you know i’m praying for you i聽 understand you tried i understand you know聽聽 this and that but even right now with聽 him i’m believing for his salvation but聽聽
What god has taught me about spiritual things聽 i can see the hindrances and the ungodly things聽聽 that’s been kind of navigating his life and how聽 he was just a victim of circumstance not really聽聽 someone that had a free will but more so you聽 know the enemy doing what the enemy does so聽聽
Yeah valerie who is jesus to you jesus is truly聽 my savior like the true definition of save your聽聽 saving me from myself saving me from the curse聽 of the law saving me from not just hell but just聽聽
He saves me he saved me and he continues to聽 save me like i wish i could put more words聽聽 to how i feel it but jesus is truly my savior聽 when you see a lot of things around you that聽聽
Should have swallowed you up and should have聽 taken your life it’s like whoa jesus you are my聽聽 savior even dating back to um my naming聽 ceremony situation jesus you were my聽聽 savior like i wasn’t i didn’t have to be named聽 in the living room on some you know apartment but聽聽
You saved me and you gave me just he’s just聽 my savior so yeah for anybody that’s watching聽聽 your testimony valerie who are currently in聽 that battle that you were at some point of聽聽 they were in a sorority and now some things are聽 starting to shift if they feel there’s conviction聽聽
What can you say to um to those people watching if聽 there’s one thing i could say i would encourage i聽聽 would encourage them to follow the voice of truth聽 um the there’s many voices that try that tried to聽聽
Counsel me this way tried to counsel me that way聽 even me of myself but it was the voice of truth聽聽 the holy spirit that led me in the direction that聽 i should that i was supposed to go and he gave聽聽
Me peace about it so not to worry about you know聽 what you’re going to lose or what are people going聽聽 to say or you know what family line you come from聽 like oh your mom was one your dad was one and all聽聽
These people but just following the holy spirit聽 who guides us into all truth and also gives us聽聽 peace for our obedience so that’s what i’ll leave聽 them with now valerie for people who know people聽聽 who are in a sorority and maybe those friends聽 don’t know about the darkness behind this life聽聽
To those friends who are worried for their friends聽 and who are watching your testimony right now聽聽 what can you what is the word of encouragement or聽 word of advice that you can give to those friends聽聽
I would tell them to pray prayer works prayer聽 works prayer works um little did i know it was聽聽 actually someone praying for me that led to that聽 whole encounter i didn’t know until after but聽聽 i would encourage them to pray for god to open聽 their eyes pray just become the intercessor on聽聽
Their behalf and um the lord will answer the聽 lord will honor those prayers and you’ll start聽聽 to see a shift in your friend’s heart about聽 you know their membership in that organization聽聽 yeah any last words last thing i just want to聽 mention is the things of this earth are very聽聽
Temporary nothing all the glory that’s on this聽 earth that is promised to us and the beauty of聽聽 things it’s very vain and it’s very temporary聽 the only things that matter are the things of聽聽 the kingdom of heaven which are eternal so that’s聽 where all of our efforts should be put towards you
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